1 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: I started to realize that not being an expert isn't 2 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: a liability, it's a real gift. If we don't know 3 00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:18,919 Speaker 1: something about ourselves at this point in our life, it's 4 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,919 Speaker 1: probably because it's uncomfortable to know. 5 00:00:21,640 --> 00:00:24,520 Speaker 2: If you can die before you die, then you can 6 00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,119 Speaker 2: really live. 7 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,080 Speaker 3: There's a wisdom at death's door. 8 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,840 Speaker 2: I thought I was insane. 9 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I didn't know what to do because there 10 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:35,599 Speaker 1: was no internet. I don't know, man, I'm like, I 11 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:41,480 Speaker 1: feel like everything is hard. Hey, y'all, my name is Kat. 12 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: I'm a human first and a licensed therapist second. And 13 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 1: right now I'm inviting you into conversations that I hope 14 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: encourage you to become more curious and less judgmental about yourself, others, 15 00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: and the world around you. Welcome to You Need Therapy. 16 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:01,680 Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome to a new episode of You 17 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,800 Speaker 1: Need Therapy podcast. My name is Kat. I am the host, 18 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,520 Speaker 1: and I am so glad you're here. Before we get 19 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 1: started today, a quick reminder that although this is a 20 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,840 Speaker 1: podcast that is hosted by a therapist and it's called 21 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 1: You Need Therapy, this podcast does not serve as a 22 00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 1: replacement or substitute for actual mental health services. However, it 23 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: can help you along whatever journey you are on. I 24 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:27,880 Speaker 1: thought that we would use this episode as a little 25 00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:30,600 Speaker 1: chance for me to tell a story, a recent story 26 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:34,320 Speaker 1: from my own life that led me to a reminder 27 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:38,080 Speaker 1: of something that I logically know but sometimes forget to 28 00:01:38,200 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 1: apply to my life when I am in some emotional spaces. 29 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,280 Speaker 1: Because you guys know this, I talk about this all 30 00:01:44,319 --> 00:01:46,679 Speaker 1: the time. I'm a therapist psychos to therapy. I'm a 31 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: therapist who also has to ask for help, which should 32 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: be every therapist. And although we have a lot of 33 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,120 Speaker 1: information in our brain and we can help people access 34 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,720 Speaker 1: that information, sometimes when it is you, it's harder to 35 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 1: take a step back and see the big picture. So 36 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: I thought I would tell you today a story of 37 00:02:05,240 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 1: when I cried about Assessame Bagel. I woke up, as 38 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: I usually do, pretty early, and I couldn't go back 39 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 1: to sleep, which is not an issue for me. I 40 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: like getting up early. I like seizing the day. The 41 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,800 Speaker 1: mornings are my favorite part of the day. And I 42 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,480 Speaker 1: had this wonderful idea to go get my boyfriend breakfast, 43 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: because one I wanted breakfast, but also he very often 44 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,079 Speaker 1: will be the one to get up and go run 45 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,400 Speaker 1: an errand or do something, which is very kind and 46 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,639 Speaker 1: I really appreciate that about him. So I said, Patrick, 47 00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: I'm going to get you a bagel, because you love bagels, 48 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,400 Speaker 1: and he loves bagels from a specific place. But I 49 00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 1: was like, I think we should try something new. I 50 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,280 Speaker 1: think we should try a more local spot, see if 51 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: we can, you know, do like a bagel tour maybe, 52 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: and then find the actual best bagel in Nashville, even 53 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,959 Speaker 1: though he swears by these bagels. 54 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 2: So I did some research. 55 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:57,080 Speaker 1: I found one that was fifteen minutes away from my house, 56 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,480 Speaker 1: which is not really a fart way, but I also 57 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,919 Speaker 1: like going places that are five minutes away because I think, oh, 58 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,519 Speaker 1: it's fifteen minutes there, then it's fifteen minutes back. I also, 59 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,560 Speaker 1: I'm probably gonna spend fifteen minutes in the store at 60 00:03:07,639 --> 00:03:09,680 Speaker 1: least getting what I need. So that's forty five minutes, 61 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: which like rounds up to an hour, and that's an 62 00:03:11,919 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 1: hour of my day, and so it just seems I 63 00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 1: get a little anxious about time. So anyway, I bet 64 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,000 Speaker 1: the bullet and I was like, I'm gonna do it 65 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: because these bagels amazing. So I get in my car 66 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,720 Speaker 1: and I drive to this bagel place. Pretty easy to 67 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,160 Speaker 1: get there, not a lot of people on the road. 68 00:03:25,560 --> 00:03:26,960 Speaker 1: And I get there and I park and I look 69 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: across the street into the store, and I noticed that 70 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: all the lights are off. And then I saw a 71 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:33,920 Speaker 1: couple other people walk up to it and then walk away. 72 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: So I quickly learned this place is closed. I was like, 73 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: no big deal, just changing plans a little bit. So 74 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,200 Speaker 1: we're going to go to the original bagel place because 75 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:43,240 Speaker 1: I know that place is open. 76 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,320 Speaker 2: I checked it on Google. 77 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 1: I text my boyfriend and I say, hey, this place 78 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,960 Speaker 1: is closed. I'm gonna be a little longer. I'm gonna 79 00:03:50,040 --> 00:03:53,120 Speaker 1: drive to the other bagel place. And it was seventeen 80 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: minutes from where I currently was. It's like a seventeen 81 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 1: minutes away, so I'm gonna be a little longer, but 82 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:00,520 Speaker 1: send me your orders. 83 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:01,240 Speaker 2: Like, okay, thank you so. 84 00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: Much, Like he was so appreciative. He wouldn't have even 85 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:05,080 Speaker 1: cared if I just came home and didn't get anything. 86 00:04:05,360 --> 00:04:07,240 Speaker 1: We would have just had cereal and been happy. So 87 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: he's like, thank you so much. This is what I 88 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,160 Speaker 1: want if you go. So I drive there and listen 89 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,600 Speaker 1: to some good music. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling fine. 90 00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:16,920 Speaker 1: Not ideal, but I also stopped at McDonald's and got 91 00:04:16,920 --> 00:04:20,200 Speaker 1: some diet cokes and hash browns, because what better way 92 00:04:20,240 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: to eat a bagel than with a McDonald's diet coach 93 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,880 Speaker 1: with coke, which is the healer of all healing things. 94 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 1: So I get there and I walk in and there 95 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: are two people in there to like customers. One was 96 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: walking out as I was walking in, and then there 97 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: was one person waiting for their food and I walk 98 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,640 Speaker 1: in right away they asked me what my order is. 99 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:40,320 Speaker 1: I give them my order. I'm a little thrown off 100 00:04:40,320 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 1: because I don't understand the way they're doing things. It 101 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 1: seems a little chaotic, like I ordered somewhere where I 102 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: guess normally you wouldn't order, and then there's nobody at 103 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:50,400 Speaker 1: the register, but normally you would order it the register. 104 00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,000 Speaker 2: I just was a little thrown off of like, how 105 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:52,599 Speaker 2: is this working? 106 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: So I order and I say, I need a sesame 107 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:01,760 Speaker 1: bagel with butter, and then and then everything bagel with 108 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: whatever Patrick's order was, which was like a just basic 109 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:08,200 Speaker 1: thing off of the menu, like a sandwich, And right 110 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: away she goes you said, oh, what bagel with butter 111 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 1: and I said a sesame bagel, and she said, okay. 112 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:16,839 Speaker 2: All of a sudden, right after I order, literally I 113 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:19,120 Speaker 2: counted seventeen. 114 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,839 Speaker 1: People came in. I don't know if they are teenagers 115 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,960 Speaker 1: or like twenty year olds. I don't I can never 116 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 1: tell ages of people anymore, but I was like a 117 00:05:25,279 --> 00:05:26,800 Speaker 1: younger group of kids, and it was a huge group. 118 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,479 Speaker 1: There's seventeen of them. And then after they came in, 119 00:05:29,880 --> 00:05:31,560 Speaker 1: other people started to come in, and so a line 120 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:33,120 Speaker 1: started to form out of the door. 121 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 2: And I was like, whoa. 122 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 1: That was literally God getting here at the exact right time. 123 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,599 Speaker 1: So right after that happens, this girl, the girl that 124 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,920 Speaker 1: walked in when I was walking, or walked out when 125 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:47,800 Speaker 1: I was walking in, walks into the bagel shop and 126 00:05:47,839 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 1: she has a bag on her hand and she said, hey, 127 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:53,600 Speaker 1: I asked for an avocado bagel with cheese and bacon, 128 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: and you just put avocado on this. 129 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 2: And they're very confused by her. 130 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: She had to repeat herself like three times, and then 131 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,599 Speaker 1: finally person that made her bagel was like, what's the 132 00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,760 Speaker 1: problem and she told her and she just was. 133 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:06,960 Speaker 2: Like, well, I didn't know that that's what you wanted, which. 134 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,080 Speaker 1: I'm sure she was stressed. There's a lot of people 135 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: in there. I probably would have handled that a little 136 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: differently and that's okay. And so you could tell the 137 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: girl was getting a little frustrated, and she's like, well, 138 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 1: can I just have the bagel I ordered and the 139 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:20,640 Speaker 1: bagel that I paid for? So she's waiting there. I'm 140 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,239 Speaker 1: waiting there for my bagels. Time goes by, the woman 141 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 1: hands me my bagel and then walks off. I'm sitting 142 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,479 Speaker 1: there confused of like okay, do I just take this? 143 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,600 Speaker 1: Is it free? Or like how do I pay? Because 144 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,160 Speaker 1: there's nobody at the register. And then right after they 145 00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 1: had me my bagel, they handed the girl her bag 146 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:40,400 Speaker 1: back and she opens it and she immediately goes there's 147 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: no bagel in here. 148 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 2: And the woman was like what. 149 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 1: She goes, well, there's no bagel in the bag you 150 00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,520 Speaker 1: gave me, And she said, well, I thought you just 151 00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,880 Speaker 1: needed bacon for your bagel, and she said, no, you 152 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:54,159 Speaker 1: took my bagel to remain make my bagel. Now I 153 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,440 Speaker 1: don't have a bagel and I just have bacon. And 154 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,479 Speaker 1: she looked at it and she goes, well, I didn't 155 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,159 Speaker 1: know that, which was very confus to me. So the 156 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 1: girl's getting frustrated, the woman starts remaking her bagel. I guess, 157 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,360 Speaker 1: and then finally a couple minutes later, somebody comes over 158 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: the register and starts like ringing me up or asking 159 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,720 Speaker 1: what I ordered. And it was a chaotic place. I 160 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,520 Speaker 1: have so much compassion for being in a chaotic place. 161 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: There's gonna be a line, there's gonna be that normally 162 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: somebody might approach that situation. But thank you for being patient, 163 00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:26,760 Speaker 1: or sorry about the line, or really thank you for 164 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: being patient. It's the best way to handle that, because 165 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 1: I didn't have an issue waiting. It was really that 166 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: I just was confused. I didn't know what was going on. 167 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:36,000 Speaker 1: So they're a little bit rude ringing me up, and 168 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,560 Speaker 1: I just was like, whatever, who knows what happened to 169 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 1: these people last night, if they had a rough night 170 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:42,520 Speaker 1: or a good night, or maybe something happened in their 171 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: lives recently, and they're just. 172 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,840 Speaker 2: Having a hard time. So I'm gonna leave with my bagels, 173 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 2: and I'm gonna be happy. I'm gonna go home. 174 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 1: So I get back in my car, knowing that I 175 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: should have probably checked my order. After watching What Happened 176 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,560 Speaker 1: with the Girl with the Avocado bacon bagel and then 177 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,680 Speaker 1: just got bacon. But I was just rush. I wanted 178 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:02,520 Speaker 1: to get back to Patrick. I wanted to eat my bagel. 179 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 1: I was excited. I could tell there's two bagels in there, 180 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 1: so I just was like, let's go. So I drove 181 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: fifteen minutes home and was so excited about all the goodies. 182 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 1: I had the hashrouns, I had the diet cokes, and 183 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: I brought them to Patrick and we were opening up 184 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,920 Speaker 1: our stuff, and I was explaining like the chaos, kind 185 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,520 Speaker 1: of laughing it off, like that was crazy. 186 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,760 Speaker 2: That place is so inefficient. I don't understand it. 187 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:26,040 Speaker 1: And I opened up my bagel, knowing that I ordered 188 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: a sess me bagel with butter, but probably the easiest. 189 00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,800 Speaker 2: Order anybody could ever have other than getting up plaining 190 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:31,400 Speaker 2: bagel with butter. 191 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 1: And I noticed that there's like a lot of butter 192 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:34,360 Speaker 1: on it, and I'm like, oh, I guess I'm gonna 193 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:35,719 Speaker 1: have to go downstairs and get a knife to spread this 194 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: because it's just like a big chunk of like white. 195 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:41,440 Speaker 1: So I opened up my bagel and then I see 196 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,320 Speaker 1: that this was not a big chunk of butter. It 197 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: was a huge, massive glob of cream. 198 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:51,199 Speaker 2: Cheese. I had chunks of something in it. 199 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,240 Speaker 1: It was like red and green, so I imagine that 200 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,720 Speaker 1: it's peppers or tomatoes or something. But there's chunks of 201 00:08:55,760 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: something in the cream cheese. And I lost my mind. 202 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: When I lose my mind, I don't get super loud 203 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: all the time. I wasn't yelling, I was anything. I 204 00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: just lost control of which we never really have control 205 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:13,280 Speaker 1: of emotions. But I just lost control of my emotions 206 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,920 Speaker 1: and my excitement. And I became very upset very quick, 207 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 1: and I said, oh my gosh, this has cream cheese 208 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,560 Speaker 1: on it. I can't eat this. I slammed bagel, shutting 209 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,320 Speaker 1: through it on the floor, and I was so upset, 210 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,360 Speaker 1: and I was also really hungry at this point. And 211 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: you know, I do realize how silly this is, just 212 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:34,160 Speaker 1: so you know we're going to get to that point. 213 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,560 Speaker 2: But I remember wanting to throw things. I just wanted 214 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:38,439 Speaker 2: to be so mad. 215 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,600 Speaker 1: I was so mad at this bagel place, and then 216 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:44,320 Speaker 1: I was mad at Patrick. And he did nothing wrong. 217 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,880 Speaker 1: He offered to go get me the right bagel. He's like, 218 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,320 Speaker 1: do want me to go back and get what you ordered? 219 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,120 Speaker 1: And I said no, because if you do that, then 220 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,360 Speaker 1: it defeats the purpose of me trying to go do 221 00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,440 Speaker 1: something nice for you. And I just tried to do 222 00:09:56,440 --> 00:09:58,360 Speaker 1: something nice for you and how to have a good morning, 223 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,480 Speaker 1: and this is what happens. And I he didn't eat that, 224 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:01,960 Speaker 1: And how hard is it to just make I mean, 225 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,480 Speaker 1: I was so mad. And then I got even more 226 00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,680 Speaker 1: mad because he was sitting there because he offered to 227 00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:08,200 Speaker 1: do something. 228 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:09,600 Speaker 2: So he was like, I guess I'll eat my bagel. 229 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:12,520 Speaker 1: So he was sitting there enjoying his bagel on diet coke, 230 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:15,600 Speaker 1: and I was just pissed, like pissed off. So eventually 231 00:10:15,600 --> 00:10:20,440 Speaker 1: I just get up, throw the covers off, stomp downstairs. Yes, 232 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,480 Speaker 1: we were eating in bed, which might be gross to 233 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,760 Speaker 1: you guys. I totally understand that. And if you judge me, 234 00:10:24,800 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 1: that's okay. I have no issue with it. 235 00:10:27,280 --> 00:10:28,400 Speaker 2: So I summed downstairs. 236 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,520 Speaker 1: And we had made a plan to clean the kitchen 237 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: and then go grocery shopping to get ourselves set up 238 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: for the new year. 239 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:36,720 Speaker 2: We had made a budget. 240 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,560 Speaker 1: We were excited to start like cooking at home, and 241 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: so I wasn't so excited to do that, but I 242 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,679 Speaker 1: was like, I guess I'll just clean the kitchen by 243 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:43,680 Speaker 1: myself since. 244 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:45,720 Speaker 2: Patrick's just up there eating a bagel. 245 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,959 Speaker 1: Meanwhile, like I brought him the bagel to eat, and 246 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: I remember wanting to slam things, but I have those 247 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:57,400 Speaker 1: like soft closing drawers, so you can't slam them. 248 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,400 Speaker 2: So I kept trying to slam the drawer, but then 249 00:10:59,400 --> 00:10:59,760 Speaker 2: the draw. 250 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,920 Speaker 1: Would get caught on whatever it is that keeps it 251 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 1: from slamming. 252 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:04,720 Speaker 2: So then I got even more mad. 253 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 1: And so I have a kitchen appliants that has a 254 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:10,680 Speaker 1: couple of pieces, and I just like throw it into 255 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,520 Speaker 1: the pantry to like make noise. I just wanted to 256 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 1: release something, which is that's totally normal and healthy. 257 00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 2: I probably should have punched some. 258 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,560 Speaker 1: Pillows or gone and throw rocks or ice or screened 259 00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: into a pillow, but I was taking it out on 260 00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: anything in the kitchen, and so then I start doing 261 00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: the dishes, and of course I'm stewing it and creating 262 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,360 Speaker 1: more anger and resentment towards Patrick because he's not helping me, 263 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 1: even though he's eating the bag. 264 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:35,719 Speaker 2: I bought him. 265 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 1: And then he comes downstairs eventually, and he's tiptoeing down 266 00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,640 Speaker 1: the stairs, and then he comes in the kitchen and starts, 267 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:42,959 Speaker 1: you know, trying to put some of. 268 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:43,760 Speaker 2: The dishes away. 269 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 1: He quietly grabs a dish towel starts to dry the 270 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,839 Speaker 1: dishes that I'm cleaning, and it just was pissing me 271 00:11:50,880 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: off that he was there. Then he went and got 272 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: dressed and he came out. He was like, I'm gonna 273 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: go to the grocery store, and I was like, you 274 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,319 Speaker 1: can't go to the grocery store. We didn't even make 275 00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 1: a list. I'm like, so make angry. At this point, 276 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 1: he's like, well, I would like to go now. I 277 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,079 Speaker 1: don't mind going now. I want to do that before 278 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:07,719 Speaker 1: it gets too late because I want to watch some 279 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:12,040 Speaker 1: the football games today. And oh my god, that sentence 280 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: through me. Oh, you want to go now when it's 281 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 1: convenient for you so you can watch football game players, 282 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: so you can have a good day. Again, all of 283 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 1: my logic was turned off at this point. My emotional 284 00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,480 Speaker 1: brain was just wreaking havoc all over the place. So 285 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:29,160 Speaker 1: sometime goes by. My friend ends up ordering me a 286 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,760 Speaker 1: bagel from another place down the road that I actually 287 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,840 Speaker 1: wanted to go to it initially, and so we sit 288 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: down and I'm like, I know I'm being a rational patrick, 289 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,600 Speaker 1: but I would like to go to the grocery store together. 290 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 1: I would like to make a list. It didn't happen 291 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,200 Speaker 1: this nicely. It took some more settling down of me. 292 00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: And I don't think I said it exactly this way, 293 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:48,560 Speaker 1: but the gist of what I said was, I want 294 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,720 Speaker 1: to make a list. I want to make a plan 295 00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:53,599 Speaker 1: for the week for food, and then I want to 296 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: go together, like I want to go to the grocery 297 00:12:55,080 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 1: store together. I don't want this to just be me 298 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: going the grocery store to get food for you and us, obviously, 299 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:04,400 Speaker 1: so you can sit home and watch football day, which 300 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 1: is a whole other story. People out there whose partners 301 00:13:07,559 --> 00:13:10,439 Speaker 1: love watching hours and hours and hours of football on 302 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: the weekends. We're going to create a support group. But anyway, 303 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:14,280 Speaker 1: so then. 304 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 2: He's like, okay, I'll go to the store with you. 305 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 2: It's fine. 306 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,520 Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, well, I have to wait 307 00:13:17,520 --> 00:13:19,719 Speaker 1: for this bagel now that Kellen, my friend Kellen had 308 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 1: got me, and I knew he was getting antsy because 309 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:23,720 Speaker 1: he was like, well, if we go get the bagel, 310 00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:24,880 Speaker 1: and then what if you have to sit and talk 311 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,240 Speaker 1: to your friend, and then it's going to take us 312 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: longer to the grocery store, and I want to get 313 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,280 Speaker 1: back by a certain point, because I knew he was 314 00:13:29,320 --> 00:13:32,080 Speaker 1: going to the grocery store to appease me, but he 315 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,240 Speaker 1: really wanted to be at home watching football. So we 316 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:37,959 Speaker 1: get in the car, we go to get the bagel, 317 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,440 Speaker 1: and I could just tell he didn't want to be there. 318 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:44,640 Speaker 1: So what I did then I gave nobody any solution 319 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,360 Speaker 1: to get out of this safely. So I said, I 320 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,600 Speaker 1: don't want you to go to the grocery store if 321 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: you don't want to go to the grocery store with me. 322 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:52,960 Speaker 1: I don't want to do to the grocery store with 323 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,040 Speaker 1: me if you would rather be at home watching football. 324 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: He was like, well, I don't know what to tell you. 325 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,600 Speaker 1: I will go to the grocery store with you, but 326 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:01,520 Speaker 1: obviously I would rather be watching football. I said, then 327 00:14:01,559 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: you then don't come. So I dropped him off to 328 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 1: his car because his car was at a friend's house 329 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,880 Speaker 1: near my friend Kellen, who had got me the bagel. 330 00:14:09,520 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 1: And I said, well then you can't don't come with me. 331 00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: So he gets out of the car quietly, and then 332 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: he comes over to the other side of the car 333 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 1: and he taps on the window and I roll it 334 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:22,440 Speaker 1: down and he just says I love you, and I 335 00:14:22,480 --> 00:14:26,280 Speaker 1: said I love you too, and I'm really mad at 336 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: you right now. He was like, I don't know what 337 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,280 Speaker 1: you want me to do, and I said, well, you can't. 338 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 2: You can't. 339 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: I just want you to know that you can't win, 340 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,840 Speaker 1: because if you come with me and you're up, you're upset, 341 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:35,640 Speaker 1: then you don't want to be there. 342 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:36,680 Speaker 2: I'm going to be mad at you, and if you 343 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,560 Speaker 2: don't come with me, I'm. 344 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:39,680 Speaker 1: Also going to be mad at you. He's like, Okay, well, 345 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,680 Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. I'm just going to 346 00:14:41,760 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: come with you. And I was like, okay, realizing in 347 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: this moment I'm making this worse, so I'm like, okay, 348 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 1: just come with me. Whatever. So he actually drove the 349 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: grocery store separately in his car, and then I drove 350 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,440 Speaker 1: in my car to the grocery store and I had 351 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: some alone time to think, and I was like, Catherine, 352 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: you know you're being a rational right now. You know 353 00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: in time, you're not going to feel this way. You 354 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 1: have an opportunity to go grocery shopping with Patrick and 355 00:15:05,520 --> 00:15:08,280 Speaker 1: have a good time and enjoy yourself, or you can 356 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 1: be mean to him. Those are your options, and so 357 00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 1: I said, okay, I'm going to apologize when I get there. 358 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm going to tell him I'm in a bad mood 359 00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,880 Speaker 1: and I'm working on getting out of mood that bad mood. 360 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 2: But I just can't snap out of it. It's going 361 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,000 Speaker 2: to take me a second. So I did that. 362 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: He said okay, and we actually had a fine time 363 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 1: at the grocery store. It wasn't the best time, but 364 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: a fine time. So that was my day of It 365 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:41,440 Speaker 1: was literally probably from nine o'clock to probably one or two, 366 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 1: where this bagel had just taken over, and there was 367 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,840 Speaker 1: a lot of feelings there, some tears in my eyes, 368 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: and there was a lot of I wanted to laugh myself, 369 00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:51,760 Speaker 1: but I couldn't because I would be mad at myself 370 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,480 Speaker 1: for laughing myself. 371 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:55,000 Speaker 2: So as I. 372 00:15:54,840 --> 00:16:00,080 Speaker 1: Am recounting this experience later that day with friends, and 373 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,880 Speaker 1: I told the story on the fifth Thing with Amy 374 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:07,720 Speaker 1: Brown that evening, I started to remember and pull up 375 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 1: the memories that because this is not an isolated event, 376 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,320 Speaker 1: and I started to remember a couple other times recently 377 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:18,320 Speaker 1: that this has happened. And there was one similar situation 378 00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:21,720 Speaker 1: a couple months ago where Patrick had actually gotten up 379 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:24,640 Speaker 1: and gone to get me. I really wanted a Power 380 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: Aid slush. It just sounded so good to me. He 381 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 1: went up and got me a Poweried slush from Sonic. 382 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: I ordered on the app. I downloaded the app just 383 00:16:30,920 --> 00:16:32,440 Speaker 1: so I could order it and get it half price 384 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 1: because side note pro tip if you ordered drinks on 385 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:38,440 Speaker 1: the app from Sonic, happy hours all the time, so 386 00:16:38,480 --> 00:16:41,000 Speaker 1: you can always get a half price drink, which is 387 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: very clutch. 388 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 2: So I ordered on the app. He got food. 389 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:48,040 Speaker 1: We probably would not have gotten food from Sonic because 390 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:51,240 Speaker 1: that's not my preferred breakfast food, although Sonic is so good. 391 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 1: But I wanted powered slush, so that's what we did. So 392 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:54,440 Speaker 1: we went and got it, picked it up. 393 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,160 Speaker 2: He brought it to me. 394 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 1: It was not a Powerid slush. It was a huge 395 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,480 Speaker 1: Power Aid and didn't understand what the big deal was. 396 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:03,160 Speaker 1: And I was like, I can't drink this, and also 397 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,760 Speaker 1: I don't want this. This is very different than what 398 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 1: I wanted, and I could not get over it. I 399 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 1: again tears in my eyes. 400 00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,840 Speaker 2: Was so upset. I actually went as far to writing 401 00:17:11,920 --> 00:17:13,240 Speaker 2: a email to. 402 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: Sonic's customer service, and in the email I even said 403 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,080 Speaker 1: I wish I could pull it up, but in the meal, 404 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: I told him what happened, like I ordered this and 405 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:24,119 Speaker 1: then I came home and this is what I got. 406 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 1: And I do realize that this is not that big 407 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,480 Speaker 1: of a deal, and I am being a little bit dramatic, 408 00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 1: but I can't help it. And I just needed an 409 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,639 Speaker 1: outlet to share my feelings. I'm not even asking for anything. 410 00:17:33,680 --> 00:17:37,200 Speaker 1: I just like wanted to tell somebody. They actually did 411 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: give me a free drink. So it worked really in 412 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,280 Speaker 1: my favorite and Patrick also went back and got the 413 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:46,000 Speaker 1: actual drink in Sonics, like five minutes from my house, 414 00:17:46,480 --> 00:17:49,159 Speaker 1: so that happened and it was like so wild, like 415 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:53,720 Speaker 1: it's not again small potatoes. And then more recently than that, 416 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,679 Speaker 1: I think it was the end of the end of 417 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:59,400 Speaker 1: November or early December. I had gotten some Christmas pajamas 418 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,359 Speaker 1: for Patrick, and I was doing some shopping and noticed 419 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 1: that Old Navy had their Christmas pajamas out and I 420 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,160 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I got to get those now because 421 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 1: I know they sell out, And so I go and 422 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,400 Speaker 1: I'm trying to find a pattern that would appease both 423 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,560 Speaker 1: Patrick and I because he's more picky and I don't 424 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,040 Speaker 1: know if you would wear certain things that I would wear, 425 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,440 Speaker 1: and I wanted them to match, and then you had 426 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,439 Speaker 1: to find the same thing that had my size and 427 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:24,560 Speaker 1: his size. So I got these pajamas and I got 428 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,040 Speaker 1: home and I put them upstairs and I told them 429 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,560 Speaker 1: I have a surprise for you. 430 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,600 Speaker 2: They're upstairs. Go check it out. 431 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 1: And my mom used to always do this, but she 432 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,280 Speaker 1: would give them to us on Christmas Eve, and I 433 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 1: was gonna do that, but then I was like, wait, 434 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,119 Speaker 1: we could wear these pajamas all December. They can be 435 00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,840 Speaker 1: like our Christmas pajamas. So he gets them and he's 436 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,879 Speaker 1: excited and we put them on later that night and 437 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: he's like, just so you know, these aren't Christmas pajamas, 438 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:53,159 Speaker 1: and I was like, excuse me. He said, yeah, so 439 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,919 Speaker 1: I like these and I love them. Thank you for 440 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,959 Speaker 1: buying them for me. But these aren't Christmas pajamas. These 441 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:01,959 Speaker 1: are just pajamas. And they were the buffalo check, like black, 442 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:04,720 Speaker 1: like the plaid. It was just black and white. And 443 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: when I tell you, I lost again my mind. I 444 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,840 Speaker 1: lost my mind. I was so distraught. I refused to 445 00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 1: put mine on. I actually put them back in the 446 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,919 Speaker 1: bag and said, well, you can return these because I'm 447 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,959 Speaker 1: not going to wear them anymore, and you now are 448 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,800 Speaker 1: responsible for going to find as Christmas pajamas because apparently 449 00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:22,720 Speaker 1: I can't do that correctly. I mean, I this is 450 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,919 Speaker 1: so outside of how I normally act. And then he 451 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 1: went downstairs to I think we'll watch a movie or something. 452 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,119 Speaker 1: I think he thought I was coming, and I just 453 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:35,479 Speaker 1: got in bed and started reading my book and wouldn't 454 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: go downstairs. And then a little later he came upstairs 455 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,439 Speaker 1: and he was like, I, what is wrong? And I 456 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,600 Speaker 1: told him how said I was, and he apologized, and 457 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 1: I just couldn't get over it, and I said, I 458 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: appreciate your apology and I do accept it, but I 459 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,280 Speaker 1: can't get over this and I'm not gonna be able 460 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,199 Speaker 1: to wear those pajamas, and so I do need you 461 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,600 Speaker 1: to return them. He was like, okay, I'm so sorry, 462 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:58,840 Speaker 1: and we'll get to more of that as we carry on. 463 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: But before we that, I actually thought it would be 464 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,199 Speaker 1: interesting to get Patrick, and for some of you you 465 00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,840 Speaker 1: know him as Big P from when we talk about 466 00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:10,720 Speaker 1: him on the Fifth Thing with Amy on her podcast 467 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 1: Four Things with Amy Brown. 468 00:20:12,320 --> 00:20:13,400 Speaker 2: I thought it'd be interesting to. 469 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:16,080 Speaker 1: Get his perspective on what he thought was going on 470 00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,919 Speaker 1: and how he was feeling as these couple of events 471 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 1: were happening, because, like I said, they're outside of my 472 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,439 Speaker 1: norm and they were very small things that set me 473 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,800 Speaker 1: off versus really big things. So I'm gonna go get 474 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:31,840 Speaker 1: Patrick and then we're gonna talk to him really quick 475 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:32,239 Speaker 1: about this. 476 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,399 Speaker 2: I have Patrick here in the flesh. 477 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:41,639 Speaker 1: This is his unique therapy debut, this is his podcast debut. 478 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,280 Speaker 2: This is any other kind of debut you're having right now? 479 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,080 Speaker 3: Nope, best I guess. 480 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:47,320 Speaker 2: Okay, all right, So. 481 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 3: How do you feel feel good? 482 00:20:49,119 --> 00:20:50,479 Speaker 2: Okay? He feels good? All right. 483 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:53,840 Speaker 1: So I brought him here because I wanted before I 484 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: went into the why and what was going on and 485 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:59,639 Speaker 1: what I discovered about my own feelings and behavior, I 486 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:02,560 Speaker 1: wanted you guys to get a perspective of what might 487 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 1: the other person that's in that situation. 488 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 2: With you be thinking. 489 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,080 Speaker 1: And I'm also curious what he was thinking as well, 490 00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:11,480 Speaker 1: just for myself. 491 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,120 Speaker 2: So we're going to start with this. 492 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:16,080 Speaker 1: The bagel situation was not the first time that I've 493 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:19,120 Speaker 1: had a reaction to a small a seemingly small thing. 494 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, So I want to know what 495 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,119 Speaker 1: was going on in your head when I was initially 496 00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 1: upset about the babel, because what I remember is I 497 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: gave you your bagel and you were so excited to 498 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,000 Speaker 1: eat it, and you got right into. 499 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:35,720 Speaker 3: Thinking about it. 500 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:39,320 Speaker 1: Okay, okay, so you're having your nice time over there, 501 00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:42,320 Speaker 1: and then I was upset. And I don't even know 502 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,679 Speaker 1: in the beginning if you've realized how upset I was. 503 00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like I can kind of see 504 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 3: it on your face most of the time now when 505 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 3: you're looking at me, though, I was looking at the bagel. Yeah, 506 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 3: I I could just feel your uh, negative just just 507 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 3: radiating off of you. 508 00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 1: When you were eating your bagel, and I was mad. 509 00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 1: What were you thinking. Were you thinking she's being dramatic? 510 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,040 Speaker 1: Were you thinking like, oh shit, I don't know. 511 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,720 Speaker 3: What to know. I knew it was an interesting situation 512 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 3: already because of all the troubles you had to get 513 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:17,919 Speaker 3: to that bagel that morning, Thank you. I knew it 514 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,919 Speaker 3: was hard to that point in the day because of 515 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:23,000 Speaker 3: the journey you had to get there. Yes, what was 516 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 3: this the second bagel place that you had gone to? 517 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:27,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're on opposite sides of town. 518 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:31,119 Speaker 3: You were texting me. I could feel the negative energy 519 00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,280 Speaker 3: through the phone. I guess, so you. 520 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 2: Weren't thinking she's psychotic. 521 00:22:35,480 --> 00:22:38,439 Speaker 3: No, I mean psychotics not the right word. Now, what 522 00:22:38,560 --> 00:22:40,840 Speaker 3: I have acted that way, I would have been disappointed 523 00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:44,200 Speaker 3: for sure, especially when you're you got to that point 524 00:22:44,359 --> 00:22:48,920 Speaker 3: of like, okay, journey's over, I'm here with my bagel, yes, 525 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,080 Speaker 3: like the payoffice here, yeah, and then you open it 526 00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:54,359 Speaker 3: up and it's not exactly as you've seen, not only 527 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,880 Speaker 3: not exactly as you've seen, something that you would not eat. 528 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,959 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't even think I said that earlier. 529 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 1: A cream cheese grow me out. So I couldn't just 530 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,440 Speaker 1: like scrape it off or be. 531 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:03,920 Speaker 2: Like, oh I didn't get I wanted, but I'll have this. 532 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,840 Speaker 2: I like was repulsed. So that was pretty upsetting. 533 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,560 Speaker 1: So that happens, and then the day goes on and 534 00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 1: we get into the situation where I'm trying to go 535 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 1: to the grocery store and I want you to come, 536 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: but I want you to want to come. You don't 537 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:19,680 Speaker 1: want to come, but you'll come, and I am putting 538 00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:20,840 Speaker 1: you in a possible situation. 539 00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:22,400 Speaker 2: So at that point, well. 540 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,679 Speaker 3: And there's there's reasons behind that too. I you know, 541 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,920 Speaker 3: I like watching NFL football, and I was kind of 542 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:31,679 Speaker 3: getting excited for that part of the day where you know, 543 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:34,720 Speaker 3: the Red Zone countdown starts and you're ready to watch 544 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:35,879 Speaker 3: all the games and. 545 00:23:36,560 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 2: The Devil's TV Show. 546 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,719 Speaker 3: I had offered to go to the store get all 547 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 3: the things we needed prior to the start of the games, 548 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:47,240 Speaker 3: but no, you were like, we want to do together, 549 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 3: which is fine, which is good. I just wish we 550 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,679 Speaker 3: would have jumped on that opportunity earlier. Then when it 551 00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:57,200 Speaker 3: got to eleven forty five and the games start at twelve. 552 00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 2: I hate the Red Zone? Okay, but were you not? 553 00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: I guess my thing what I'm thinking about is when 554 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: you got out of. 555 00:24:09,359 --> 00:24:11,199 Speaker 2: The car and I was like, you're not coming with me? 556 00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,240 Speaker 1: I want to know, because I very much knew that 557 00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:17,040 Speaker 1: I was putting you in a possible situation. But were 558 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: you still in that space of oh, I get why 559 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,600 Speaker 1: she's upset, or you like seriously. 560 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,679 Speaker 3: It was more about like I knew you were upset, 561 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:28,159 Speaker 3: and you had some valid reasons to be upset, And 562 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,080 Speaker 3: in my mind, it was like, you know, it doesn't 563 00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 3: take much for me to spend a little time, take 564 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 3: a little time out of what I was planning on 565 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 3: doing to make you feel better, since you've already had 566 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:40,679 Speaker 3: a hard morning. 567 00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,920 Speaker 1: I also love that you are talking about me having 568 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 1: a hard morning, and it's really comes down to me 569 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:49,160 Speaker 1: getting the wrong with bagel order. So I just want 570 00:24:49,160 --> 00:24:51,159 Speaker 1: to remind everybody that was my hard morning, and I 571 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 1: do realize that. So that's why I guess in my head, 572 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,480 Speaker 1: looking back on it, I would think that you would 573 00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,840 Speaker 1: have been more annoyed of like seriously, like what. 574 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,720 Speaker 3: The hell I mean again, I kind of sat back 575 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:05,919 Speaker 3: and assessed the situation, and I realized that, like, I 576 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,719 Speaker 3: can give up some of the time. I knew I 577 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 3: was probably gonna be watching football a good rest of 578 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 3: the part of the day. So the fact that I 579 00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 3: could take a little bit of my time to make 580 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 3: you feel better, it was something that you know, I 581 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 3: was willing to do. 582 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 1: Okay, So my last question is what did you want 583 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,879 Speaker 1: to say that you were too afraid to say to 584 00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:29,280 Speaker 1: me that day? And why would you have been afraid 585 00:25:29,600 --> 00:25:31,280 Speaker 1: to say that? And I would want you to know 586 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:31,879 Speaker 1: I'm not going to be. 587 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 3: Upset, okay. I thought you were just getting me in 588 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:35,120 Speaker 3: here for. 589 00:25:39,240 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 2: On microphone. 590 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:45,960 Speaker 3: The initial reaction is, hey, this isn't the biggest of deals, 591 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,919 Speaker 3: you know, kind of like we've been alluding to in 592 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 3: this series, it is a bagel, it's breakfast that went 593 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:55,440 Speaker 3: wrong that you know can be mended. But I also 594 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 3: know that that was what you were you know again, 595 00:25:57,840 --> 00:25:59,680 Speaker 3: that was just represented something you were looking forward to 596 00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:01,160 Speaker 3: after putting in the work too. 597 00:26:01,600 --> 00:26:03,800 Speaker 1: But why would you be afraid to actually just say 598 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 1: that because I think a lot of I'm glad you 599 00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:06,879 Speaker 1: say that, because I think a lot of people that 600 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,520 Speaker 1: is what actually gets in the way when these things 601 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 1: come up, is there's something that likes Obviously it's not 602 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: that big of a deal, and somebody calls that out 603 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 1: and that's actually not help at all. Like if you 604 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:21,760 Speaker 1: were to say, Kat, it's just a bagel, it's not 605 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:22,800 Speaker 1: that big of a deal, I. 606 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,720 Speaker 3: Feel like that's the I wouldn't on the moment you 607 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,880 Speaker 3: would have you would have not appreciated it, and maybe 608 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,359 Speaker 3: you would have appreciated it later on. Maybe it was 609 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:36,920 Speaker 3: that that immediate negative reaction that I was afraid of receiving. 610 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,200 Speaker 3: I guess if I would have said that, also, I'm 611 00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:43,240 Speaker 3: not not great with my words. I'm a numbers guy, 612 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:47,000 Speaker 3: so coming out of my mouth it probably would have 613 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 3: sounded even more insensitive to how you were feeling. I 614 00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 3: guess certain situation. 615 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:55,119 Speaker 1: So could this be true that you didn't want to 616 00:26:55,160 --> 00:27:01,160 Speaker 1: say that because you, knowing me, know that obviously I 617 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,760 Speaker 1: am not an irrational person, and so it was unnecessary 618 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,680 Speaker 1: and in time you could say that, but in the moment, 619 00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 1: obviously there would be something bigger going on if I 620 00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:11,960 Speaker 1: was that upset over something so small. 621 00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,240 Speaker 3: And yeah, I mean, I mean, I guess another way 622 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,600 Speaker 3: of saying it. You were actually really good at after 623 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:21,600 Speaker 3: a situation is transpired, sitting back and thinking about, you know, 624 00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 3: the way you fell into actions you took, and thinking, hey, 625 00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,680 Speaker 3: was that the right? Was that the appropriate reaction there? 626 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 3: And you usually pretty spot on when you think about 627 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:33,480 Speaker 3: it again, so usually usually come to the correct answer 628 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,720 Speaker 3: sooner or later. So I didn't want to, I guess 629 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,119 Speaker 3: put you in a worse mood at that time, knowing 630 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:42,480 Speaker 3: that you're going to come back in and write that, Yeah. 631 00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:45,040 Speaker 2: Okay, Well I appreciate that. 632 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,720 Speaker 1: That was a very good answer, and I want you 633 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,080 Speaker 1: guys to know that you guys know this from this 634 00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:54,199 Speaker 1: whole episode and this whole podcast, but I'm nowhere near perfect. 635 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:56,520 Speaker 1: So Patrick says that, and that's very kind. And I 636 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,000 Speaker 1: also sometimes I can't miss things. 637 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, I said you're good at a great. 638 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:03,439 Speaker 2: My God. 639 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:11,479 Speaker 1: Okay, is there anything else you would like to say? 640 00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:14,120 Speaker 3: Thanks for having me on. I guess you're welcome all 641 00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:15,480 Speaker 3: the time listener, first time caller. 642 00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:16,919 Speaker 2: How long you've been listening? 643 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:17,920 Speaker 3: About a year? 644 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 2: How long did I make you wait until you could 645 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:22,880 Speaker 2: listen to an episode? 646 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,199 Speaker 3: I don't know, but I definitely snuck a few in 647 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:29,080 Speaker 3: before you told me that. That's rick. You didn't tell 648 00:28:29,080 --> 00:28:31,840 Speaker 3: me I couldn't specifically not listen. Maybe you did. I 649 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,879 Speaker 3: did say that, but maybe I don't know. Before we 650 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,000 Speaker 3: messed No, it was after I mean think it was 651 00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:41,000 Speaker 3: after the first or second date. It was was, Yeah, 652 00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:42,040 Speaker 3: I listened to a couple. 653 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:43,600 Speaker 2: Which ones did you listen to? 654 00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 3: I mean the first one I listened to was like 655 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:47,920 Speaker 3: a relationship one? 656 00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:49,240 Speaker 1: Yeah? 657 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:51,280 Speaker 2: Was it me by myself? 658 00:28:51,400 --> 00:28:53,160 Speaker 3: I was just trying to get ut some kind of. 659 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 2: Idea of what, you know, was it boy myself? 660 00:28:56,360 --> 00:28:56,560 Speaker 1: Yeah? 661 00:28:56,600 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 3: There was a lot of personal stuff on there. 662 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,160 Speaker 2: Wait, which one was it it was? I mean I 663 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:02,800 Speaker 2: did a Valentine's Day one. 664 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 3: And maybe that's what it was. It was relationships in general, 665 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 3: and like I remember talking about, like you know, looking 666 00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,400 Speaker 3: for like a soul mat or a perfect person is 667 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:12,760 Speaker 3: like you take the things that like you find important 668 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:17,680 Speaker 3: most important, and you like prioritize those over you know, 669 00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:19,800 Speaker 3: maybe you don't like this thing, you don't like that thing, 670 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,400 Speaker 3: but like does that outweigh kind of like you know 671 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 3: you're you're yeah, I think you were even saying like 672 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,920 Speaker 3: you write a list of like the things you find 673 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 3: important in like someone else and a potential partner, and 674 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 3: it's like, well then you cross some of those off 675 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:33,960 Speaker 3: and you get down to like what are the most two, 676 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:35,920 Speaker 3: three or four maybe, and then you're like, you know, 677 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,960 Speaker 3: as long as they have these, I can live without 678 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:39,520 Speaker 3: these being perfect. 679 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:42,920 Speaker 1: So you guys, see that secrets come out when you 680 00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:44,080 Speaker 1: have a mic in front of you. 681 00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:46,040 Speaker 2: Is anything else you would like to tell me? 682 00:29:46,120 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 3: I don't think I ever lied about about actually listening 683 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 3: when you said not to. 684 00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:52,840 Speaker 2: But I've probably just skirted around that. 685 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:54,000 Speaker 3: Maybe. 686 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 1: Well, I'm not upset with you in case you're wondering, 687 00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:00,200 Speaker 1: And thank you for being here. Now that he has 688 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,160 Speaker 1: has done this and he knows what it's like, you 689 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:03,920 Speaker 1: guys should just expect. 690 00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,440 Speaker 2: Him to be a regular guest. 691 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:06,320 Speaker 3: Sounds good. 692 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:17,600 Speaker 1: Okay, Wow, you heard it here first. Okay, So while 693 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:20,760 Speaker 1: I see how this story. These stories could are entertaining, 694 00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,920 Speaker 1: and I could just make a podcast about telling these 695 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 1: funny stories. That's not the sole reason that I really 696 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: am sharing this stuff. The reason I'm telling you, guys 697 00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: all of this is because I'm sure that most of 698 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:37,480 Speaker 1: you listening are still listening now, because I've been rambling 699 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 1: about these stories for a while, because you have a 700 00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: story like this as well. You have a memory of 701 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 1: a time when you just broke down over something similar 702 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:48,960 Speaker 1: in the fact that it was so small, and you 703 00:30:49,040 --> 00:30:51,280 Speaker 1: knew you were being irrational, but you just could not 704 00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:53,600 Speaker 1: not be irrational in the moment. And again, what I 705 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:56,720 Speaker 1: think is so interesting about these experiences and the experience 706 00:30:56,720 --> 00:31:00,280 Speaker 1: that I had personally, is just that I I knew 707 00:31:00,320 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 1: I was being irrational in the moment, but I could 708 00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: not stop myself where I chose not to stop myself. Really, 709 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,120 Speaker 1: I wanted so badly to not be bothered by these 710 00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 1: things and to be happy and just to go with 711 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:13,480 Speaker 1: a flow, but I could not force myself to do it. 712 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: And I do find myself a go with a flow 713 00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 1: kind of person in a lot of situations. But I 714 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 1: was just so full of negative energy and I struggled 715 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:27,000 Speaker 1: to actually tune in in the moment. Weirdly enough, I 716 00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: was planning to sit down and record this episode. I 717 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: was procrastinating with some good old fashion scrolling on Instagram 718 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,719 Speaker 1: and I stumbled upon this quote that was posted by 719 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:36,960 Speaker 1: Mike Foster, who is somebody I really like to follow. 720 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:39,440 Speaker 1: He is a therapist as well. He used to have 721 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 1: a podcast called Fun Therapy. You can still go listen 722 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: to those episodes. Also side note, last week, I got 723 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,320 Speaker 1: a follow from a Mike Foster two thousand. His Instagram 724 00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 1: handle is at Mike Foster two thousand and I got 725 00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:53,920 Speaker 1: a follow from him and I was like, what, this 726 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,560 Speaker 1: is so cool. I didn't know this person knew I existed, 727 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: and so I followed him back and I was so excited, 728 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: and I I showed Patrick later. I was like, you're 729 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:04,080 Speaker 1: not gonna care about this, but look who followed me 730 00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,320 Speaker 1: on Instagram? Maybe I could get him on the podcast. 731 00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: And I clicked on his profile and I was like, wait, 732 00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,040 Speaker 1: somebody is not right because I had to follow him 733 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,720 Speaker 1: back and I was like, I know, I follow him, 734 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:14,360 Speaker 1: This is so weird. 735 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:15,360 Speaker 2: Why would I unfollow him? 736 00:32:15,680 --> 00:32:17,720 Speaker 1: And then I quickly realized that it was a fake 737 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,880 Speaker 1: account and he didn't really follow me. It was a scam, 738 00:32:20,480 --> 00:32:22,760 Speaker 1: so that was upsetting. But Mike Foster, if you're out 739 00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:24,880 Speaker 1: there and you want to follow me, I already follow you. 740 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:27,200 Speaker 1: I would love it. Also loved to have you on 741 00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,120 Speaker 1: a podcast. But anyway, so as I was sitting down 742 00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:31,120 Speaker 1: and I was getting ready to record this, I was 743 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,120 Speaker 1: scrolling and I saw. 744 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:32,959 Speaker 2: A quote that he posted. 745 00:32:33,360 --> 00:32:37,200 Speaker 1: And the quote he posted was my most frequent complaint 746 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:41,880 Speaker 1: toward my partner, A loved one reveals my greatest emotional need, not. 747 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:42,920 Speaker 2: Their greatest flaw. 748 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:47,200 Speaker 1: And then in his caption, he wrote this, Lately, I've 749 00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,240 Speaker 1: been trying to tune in more to my reactions to others, 750 00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:54,479 Speaker 1: especially when these reactions are filled with frustration, criticism, or anger. 751 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,080 Speaker 1: I'm getting more curious about why I'm so bothered by 752 00:32:58,120 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 1: something someone said or did. Sometimes it's people I know, 753 00:33:02,080 --> 00:33:04,840 Speaker 1: and sometimes it's people I don't, But either way, something 754 00:33:04,840 --> 00:33:07,400 Speaker 1: gets stirred up inside of me. What has been so 755 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 1: fascinating is to see how little it has to do 756 00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,560 Speaker 1: with them, and more to do with me. These negative 757 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,640 Speaker 1: reactions to people are giving me an opportunity to empower 758 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,240 Speaker 1: some healthy self reflection. It shows me how much work 759 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 1: I still have to do and the things inside of 760 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 1: me that still need to be healed. I've been using 761 00:33:25,480 --> 00:33:28,560 Speaker 1: this question a lot. I wonder what's going on there? 762 00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,200 Speaker 1: This little question is a great tool to help me 763 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:35,320 Speaker 1: excavate and process unhealed parts inside of me. And whether 764 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,960 Speaker 1: it's my negative reaction to what my wife did or 765 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:41,000 Speaker 1: a complete stranger, this is an opportunity for me to 766 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:45,760 Speaker 1: explore something broken in me. Okay, So I love that, 767 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 1: and I think it's so crazy that I read that 768 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,800 Speaker 1: literally as I was about to sit down and talk 769 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,880 Speaker 1: about this with you guys today, And I love the question. 770 00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:56,400 Speaker 2: I wonder what's going on there? 771 00:33:56,960 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 1: If I were to ask that question within each of 772 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 1: my breakdown experience and says, I bet I would find 773 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 1: a lot out about what was happening inside of me 774 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:09,319 Speaker 1: rather than being angry about something that somebody else did 775 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 1: that was wrong. And remember, using words like wonder and 776 00:34:12,560 --> 00:34:15,239 Speaker 1: curious are super helpful tools to help shift from a 777 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,520 Speaker 1: judgmental space to a space that is open for understanding 778 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:21,640 Speaker 1: and discovery. So I wonder what was going on there? 779 00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,800 Speaker 1: I've been sitting down this morning and ask for myself, 780 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,200 Speaker 1: like I wonder what was going on there? I will 781 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,960 Speaker 1: say there's more for me to process and for me 782 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 1: to uncover and talk about with my own therapists in 783 00:34:30,719 --> 00:34:31,400 Speaker 1: this situation. 784 00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 2: But what I do know is that I lost control. 785 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 1: Of the experiences that I wanted to have in all 786 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: of those situations. With the pajamas, I imagined us starting 787 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 1: this new tradition for ourselves that my mom started when 788 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:45,560 Speaker 1: I was a kid. And this was actually the first 789 00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,640 Speaker 1: Christmas that I was ever going to spend with a 790 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:53,120 Speaker 1: serious significant other, and I had some exciting expectations for 791 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,400 Speaker 1: what I wanted to be like. And yes, Patrick told 792 00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:57,080 Speaker 1: me he liked the pajamas, but he told me he 793 00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 1: liked the pajamas despite the fact they weren't Christmas pajamas. 794 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:03,120 Speaker 1: And that's not the experience I wanted to have. I 795 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 1: wanted to have an experience of starting this tradition of 796 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:09,480 Speaker 1: Christmas pajamas, and I did not receive that experience that 797 00:35:09,520 --> 00:35:10,040 Speaker 1: I had set. 798 00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:10,520 Speaker 2: Up in my head. 799 00:35:11,239 --> 00:35:13,359 Speaker 1: And with the bagel, I was so excited to go 800 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 1: out and get some of our favorite things and then 801 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,399 Speaker 1: sit down and have a perfect first morning of the year. 802 00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:20,279 Speaker 1: And the mornings are my favorite time of the day, 803 00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:23,239 Speaker 1: Like I said, especially on the weekend when we get 804 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:25,960 Speaker 1: to decide exactly how we want them to go. And 805 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:29,320 Speaker 1: I was already frustrated because I'd spent so much time driving, 806 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:32,440 Speaker 1: which is why I included the times of driving, and 807 00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,919 Speaker 1: I was worried about losing more time, losing more part 808 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:38,080 Speaker 1: of the morning that I wanted to be spending doing 809 00:35:38,360 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: something other than driving around finding a bagel. And then 810 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:42,440 Speaker 1: when I got home and realized that I lost my 811 00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,120 Speaker 1: favorite part of the day and I didn't even get 812 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 1: the bagel, I felt like I was robbed of an 813 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:49,600 Speaker 1: experience that I wanted to have. I felt cheated, and 814 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,480 Speaker 1: what I probably wanted in that moment was somebody to 815 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:55,399 Speaker 1: fix it, somebody to make it better. And Patrick even 816 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,920 Speaker 1: asked if he wanted me to fix it, and I 817 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,839 Speaker 1: said no, because him fixing my current issue would then 818 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,640 Speaker 1: take away again from the experience that I wanted to have, 819 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,719 Speaker 1: which I wanted to go do something nice for him 820 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,240 Speaker 1: and then have this moment. Patrick wasn't doing anything wrong 821 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:17,279 Speaker 1: technically the second bagel shop. It's something wrong, but on 822 00:36:17,320 --> 00:36:19,320 Speaker 1: any average day, I don't I think that would be annoying, 823 00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:21,799 Speaker 1: but I would not get tears in my eyes and 824 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,920 Speaker 1: cry over it. And really, at the end of the situation, 825 00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,600 Speaker 1: I was unable to ask for what I wanted, and 826 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,920 Speaker 1: then I was unable to get exactly what I wanted, 827 00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:33,200 Speaker 1: and I could not accept anything other. 828 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:34,680 Speaker 2: Than what I had envisioned in my head. 829 00:36:35,239 --> 00:36:38,160 Speaker 1: I was stuck on trying to control the experience that 830 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,360 Speaker 1: I wanted versus finding value and the experience I was having. 831 00:36:41,800 --> 00:36:43,400 Speaker 2: Now, this is where I wish I was able to 832 00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:44,920 Speaker 2: ask myself the question that. 833 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:48,800 Speaker 1: Donald Miller taught us on Amy's podcast Four Things That 834 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:52,000 Speaker 1: Amy Brown when we got to interview Donald Miller. Great 835 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,840 Speaker 1: episode if you haven't listened to that one yet, but 836 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:58,080 Speaker 1: he taught us to ask questions that include, what does 837 00:36:58,080 --> 00:37:00,840 Speaker 1: this make possible when things don't. 838 00:37:00,640 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 2: Go our way? 839 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,959 Speaker 1: To get us out of this victim mindset, because oh 840 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,680 Speaker 1: my god, I was a victim of freaking bagel bait, 841 00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 1: and this would have made a lot of things possible, 842 00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,000 Speaker 1: and eventually it did. It did make a lot of 843 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,319 Speaker 1: things possible. A friend of mine was able to show up, 844 00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,279 Speaker 1: and I want to say, help me in the time 845 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 1: of need by getting getting me a bagel, but that 846 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,839 Speaker 1: seems so dramatic. But a friend of mine was able 847 00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:24,120 Speaker 1: to show up and do something nice for me. We 848 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,680 Speaker 1: could have had a different experience that morning. Maybe I 849 00:37:27,719 --> 00:37:29,400 Speaker 1: could have made something for breakfast. 850 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:29,960 Speaker 2: Maybe. 851 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,239 Speaker 1: I mean, right now, it's not really worth going through 852 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 1: what that could have made possible. But I want next 853 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,720 Speaker 1: time to be able to ask, what does this make possible? 854 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:38,759 Speaker 1: So I'm not getting an experience that I wanted, but 855 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:41,839 Speaker 1: what experiences are still available to me even if they 856 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,160 Speaker 1: weren't the ones that I initially chose. And when we 857 00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:48,759 Speaker 1: have emotional breakdowns over small things that logically we know 858 00:37:48,880 --> 00:37:51,359 Speaker 1: aren't that big of a deal, it can be due 859 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,880 Speaker 1: to a lot of reasons. I don't want ever to 860 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:57,600 Speaker 1: pigeonhole you guys into that if this happens, that must 861 00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:00,319 Speaker 1: mean that this is going on, because again, this can 862 00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:02,440 Speaker 1: be due to a lot of different reasons that are include, 863 00:38:03,000 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 1: but are not limited to, harboring resentment. Sometimes we have 864 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,239 Speaker 1: these experiences because we're holding in thoughts and feelings that 865 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:13,480 Speaker 1: we're scared to share. Maybe sometimes we're triggering past trauma. 866 00:38:14,080 --> 00:38:16,759 Speaker 1: Sometimes we have a lack of sleep or nutrition which 867 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 1: results in a lack of cognitive function, and our logic 868 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,120 Speaker 1: brain is in workingness as well as we'd. 869 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:22,319 Speaker 2: Like it too. 870 00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,399 Speaker 1: And so I share all of this, and I tell 871 00:38:25,440 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 1: you the story, and I talk through this with you guys, 872 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,600 Speaker 1: because I know that a lot of you have these experiences. 873 00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:34,480 Speaker 1: I want to encourage us all to ask that simple question, 874 00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:37,160 Speaker 1: what is going on here? I wonder what is going 875 00:38:37,200 --> 00:38:40,080 Speaker 1: on here? Versus this is what you're doing wrong? And 876 00:38:40,120 --> 00:38:41,920 Speaker 1: if you just did this, I would be fine, If 877 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:45,040 Speaker 1: they just did that, I would be fine. It allows 878 00:38:45,120 --> 00:38:47,800 Speaker 1: us a space to break free from a little, maybe 879 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:51,920 Speaker 1: unconscious codependency where I'm okay if you're okay, or if 880 00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:55,560 Speaker 1: that's okay, I'm okay. I can still be okay when 881 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,960 Speaker 1: the world is not going as I planned. But in 882 00:38:58,040 --> 00:38:59,960 Speaker 1: order to find that space, a lot of times we 883 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:02,399 Speaker 1: need to ask the question, I wonder what is going 884 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:05,000 Speaker 1: on here? So we can kind of work ourselves back 885 00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,040 Speaker 1: from that. So I love being able to look back 886 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:11,040 Speaker 1: and laugh at these situations, and I think that's important. 887 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,480 Speaker 1: I think we need to find humor in some of 888 00:39:13,520 --> 00:39:16,360 Speaker 1: these things, and it's a healing agent. And at the 889 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,439 Speaker 1: same time, it's also important to learn from these things, 890 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,960 Speaker 1: because if I don't, if I don't pay attention to 891 00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 1: these types of situations, I miss an opportunity to learn 892 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,640 Speaker 1: about myself. I missed an opportunity to learn about the world, 893 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,840 Speaker 1: and I set myself up to allow this to happen 894 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:32,480 Speaker 1: over and over and over and over again. 895 00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,239 Speaker 2: And so, like I. 896 00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,920 Speaker 1: Said, I still have some more digging to do about 897 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,800 Speaker 1: these situations, and they're still learning to be done here. 898 00:39:40,400 --> 00:39:42,239 Speaker 1: But I also already am in a space where I 899 00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:44,839 Speaker 1: can set myself up better next time. The next time 900 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:48,000 Speaker 1: I'm putting pressure on myself or the people around me 901 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:50,600 Speaker 1: to have a certain experience, I can remind myself that 902 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,080 Speaker 1: a lot of things can happen. I can have a 903 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 1: lot of different versions of an experience, and all those 904 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 1: versions can be good, even if they're not the versions 905 00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,080 Speaker 1: that I had imagined in my liad head, and unmet 906 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,880 Speaker 1: expectations don't necessarily mean you will be having a bad time. 907 00:40:05,600 --> 00:40:07,680 Speaker 1: And another thing I'm taking from this is it's okay 908 00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,680 Speaker 1: to ask for what you want even if it throws 909 00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:13,280 Speaker 1: your plan off, which I think might be a tough one. 910 00:40:13,120 --> 00:40:14,440 Speaker 2: For me, but I'm gonna practice it. 911 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,880 Speaker 1: What I think is really cool and helpful again for 912 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:22,280 Speaker 1: me to accept this understanding that just because the experience 913 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,799 Speaker 1: isn't what I imagine, it can still be good. What 914 00:40:24,800 --> 00:40:26,719 Speaker 1: I think is really cool is that my brain is 915 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:30,160 Speaker 1: a lot smaller than the world, right, there are so 916 00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,839 Speaker 1: many things that my brain cannot imagine or come up 917 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,480 Speaker 1: with or think of those aren't in there yet. And 918 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,800 Speaker 1: so just because it's not the thing that's in my brain, 919 00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:40,040 Speaker 1: it doesn't mean it's not even gonna be better. 920 00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,040 Speaker 2: You know, or eventually be better. 921 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,319 Speaker 1: So that's pretty helpful for me when it comes to 922 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:45,960 Speaker 1: that stuff, and maybe it can be helpful for you 923 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:49,680 Speaker 1: as well. But I hope that what you have gained 924 00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:54,279 Speaker 1: from listening to this episode is some laughter and entertainment 925 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:57,799 Speaker 1: and also an opportunity for you to spend a little 926 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,000 Speaker 1: more time digging in and wondering what's going on with 927 00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,560 Speaker 1: you as well, rather than blaming the world for our 928 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,640 Speaker 1: bad attitudes and our misfortune. Because again, I want to 929 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:09,960 Speaker 1: read that quote from Mike Foster because it was so 930 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,839 Speaker 1: freaking good. And this quote isn't from him, he says 931 00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:14,800 Speaker 1: unknown after the quote, just so you know, but the 932 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:17,040 Speaker 1: caption that I read. 933 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:17,399 Speaker 2: Was from him. 934 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:20,600 Speaker 1: The quote is my most frequent complaint towards my partner 935 00:41:20,680 --> 00:41:24,239 Speaker 1: or loved one, reveals my greatest emotional need, not their 936 00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:30,000 Speaker 1: greatest flaw. Bringing it back to us, healthy communication, healthy discovery, 937 00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,160 Speaker 1: all of that. So I hope you guys are having 938 00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:34,719 Speaker 1: the day you need to have. I hope you are 939 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:37,960 Speaker 1: getting the bagel order that you need to get, and 940 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,400 Speaker 1: the truth is that might not be the one that 941 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,040 Speaker 1: you ordered. I will be back with you guys on 942 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:45,800 Speaker 1: Wednesday for couch Talks. If you want to send me 943 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,120 Speaker 1: a question for couch Talks, you can do that Catherine 944 00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:51,040 Speaker 1: at you Need Therapy podcast dot com. If you want 945 00:41:51,080 --> 00:41:52,920 Speaker 1: to follow me or the podcast, you can do that 946 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,279 Speaker 1: on Instagram at Kat dot defada and at you Need 947 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,240 Speaker 1: Therapy Podcast. 948 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,719 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here today and all 949 00:42:00,719 --> 00:42:02,879 Speaker 1: The days that you are here, and I will talk 950 00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:12,680 Speaker 1: to you guys on Wednesday