Speaker 1: So I'm the Justin Bieber of the rodent community. Now
Speaker 1: I can feel an Orcan or a termin X deal
Speaker 1: coming in as we speak. A brand person called me
Speaker 1: about a pool company. So if you didn't see my Instagram,
Speaker 1: you should. But there's so much to discuss what happened.
Speaker 1: So Brinn and I found Brinn is a is a
Speaker 1: filter checker. I've never checked a filter in my life
Speaker 1: unless I thought though something was wrong in a pool.
Speaker 1: Brinn is a pool filter checker. You know who you
Speaker 1: are if you're a pool filter checker. I am not
Speaker 1: a pool filter checker. And by the way, I don't
Speaker 1: think I'm going to become one. Brinn will do it
Speaker 1: for me because now that she's been successful. And one
Speaker 1: time she found a frog in there. I don't remember
Speaker 1: if it was alive. I don't know what we did.
Speaker 1: This time Brynn found a critter and I saw her
Speaker 1: go scream and then I go, what like not today?
Speaker 1: Please swann a day? And I walk over and I
Speaker 1: got so much more than I bargained for. It was
Speaker 1: a it was a mouse, It was a it was
Speaker 1: a rodent that was dark gray brown. I could later
Speaker 1: like two people said it could have been a rat.
Speaker 1: I heard a vole a mole. I don't. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't work in extermination at this time, but I'm
Speaker 1: planning on doing it, so Brynn. We then got into like,
Speaker 1: now we can't unknow what we know. We can't unsee
Speaker 1: what we see. We see, we know there's a beast
Speaker 1: in our in our in our filter. It's obvious that
Speaker 1: the thing is dead. And you couldn't see in the video.
Speaker 1: Thank god that it had like there was like some
Speaker 1: sort of pink swelling of the either underbelly or the
Speaker 1: fingers or something felt weird. It looked like something like
Speaker 1: the inside of the mouse had come out of it
Speaker 1: or something. But I don't know. In testines, I'm thinking,
Speaker 1: don't be grossed out. Sorry, but it wasn't. It was something.
Speaker 1: Bryn later said she thinks chlorine swells mice. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I in the video you could just see like that
Speaker 1: there's a creature floating. So now we're in like what
Speaker 1: are we doing? And I went to go look for
Speaker 1: my pool skimmer and it's gigantic, and I was like,
Speaker 1: we're strong women. I want to have the right wrote
Speaker 1: message and be a good role model. And be like
Speaker 1: we're going to do this on our own. We don't
Speaker 1: need to call somebody. What do we I just want
Speaker 1: it out of there, But I could thought, what's that
Speaker 1: going to feel like if I pick it up with
Speaker 1: my hand. I can't do that. What do I have?
Speaker 1: I looked at like aspat show container, but I still
Speaker 1: thought that like it wasn't the right size to get
Speaker 1: in there and get the guy out. But like, what
Speaker 1: the hell how am I going? So I looked at
Speaker 1: the skimmer. It's too big. I didn't know what to do.
Speaker 1: And there's like a basket, and Britt had the idea
Speaker 1: of like get the basket out. I never thought of that, like,
Speaker 1: so I was like, oh, so then someone later said
Speaker 1: get a hook like a hanger. I don't know. I
Speaker 1: didn't see if there was like a I didn't see
Speaker 1: like the way that the filter was, like if it
Speaker 1: had like a handle, but it didn't seem to I
Speaker 1: don't know. So because since since this experience, it's come
Speaker 1: to my attention that brinded all the work I was supervising.
Speaker 1: But somehow we sat down. I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: and she's like, I can go open the thing up again.
Speaker 1: Because we closed that little stone thing, and so she
Speaker 1: said she could open it up, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want you to be unsafe because she had
Speaker 1: a weird way she was gonna do with her foot.
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, now we're gonna go to the
Speaker 1: hospital for a broken toe. So I was like, I
Speaker 1: can't open it up. I just had weird rodent rules.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't open it up. So that's just
Speaker 1: one rodent rule that I'm gonna have for my life
Speaker 1: right now. So then she was like I'm not doing it.
Speaker 1: I go you're gonna do it though, and she's like no,
Speaker 1: And I'm like, okay, fine, then we don't need to
Speaker 1: do it. And she's she's like, I do I have
Speaker 1: to swim after? I goes, do you have to swim after?
Speaker 1: Like we're doing it for free pool play, otherwise shut
Speaker 1: the pool, shut close, summer, Christmas is canceled, sell the house. No.
Speaker 1: So she was like okay. And so somehow we got
Speaker 1: to this point where like she was going to do
Speaker 1: it and I was just yelling, barking orders. I was gagging,
Speaker 1: and I realized that we would go get like tongs.
Speaker 1: Like I knew we needed tongues, and truthfully, I didn't
Speaker 1: want to waste my tongues. And I knew, no matter what,
Speaker 1: for the rest of our lives, what am I gonna do.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go like boil his tongs after it, just
Speaker 1: I know would be fine. But so I got the
Speaker 1: big long, like metal tongs with the wood on them.
Speaker 1: They're big, long, like dad barbecue tongs, and I brought
Speaker 1: them over and we did a bunch of tries and
Speaker 1: I was like, you cannot. I wanted to say to
Speaker 1: one of my friends, you can't fuck this up. Okay,
Speaker 1: like you cannot fuck this It's game time now, Okay,
Speaker 1: do you understand me? Because what I didn't want was
Speaker 1: her to like start pulling up the basket and then
Speaker 1: drop it. Then there's a mouse flop at the house
Speaker 1: and I'll have a panic attack. And they had to
Speaker 1: get the guy out, and I think Brim was like,
Speaker 1: we'll throw the whole filter away, and I then realized
Speaker 1: we don't have to do that because we could put
Speaker 1: the whole filter in the garbage, shake the guy out,
Speaker 1: then put the filter back, which somehow I managed to do.
Speaker 1: And I don't know quite how we did it, but
Speaker 1: I was like, don't scream, and then we both screamed
Speaker 1: like it was just crazy. And then we put him
Speaker 1: in the garbage and then all these like Peter and
Speaker 1: Mouse people were going crazy, like not a lot, but
Speaker 1: just some people being like save the warm mouth was young,
Speaker 1: Like the fucking mouse was dead. I don't do mouse CPR,
Speaker 1: like I don't have to tell you, I don't like
Speaker 1: the paddles decide what to chicklets and a string. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna do like resuscitation paddles on the goddamn mouse the mouth,
Speaker 1: Like I couldn't even what. So we post this thing
Speaker 1: on TikTok. Okay, it's going viral. It is flying. People
Speaker 1: are so invested in it. It's gonna go to a million,
Speaker 1: no question, it is flying. It gets shut down for
Speaker 1: sensitive content. So then we then that we had we
Speaker 1: put up a pixelated mouse video. You can imagine that
Speaker 1: like PG mouse didn't do as well. It's just ridiculous.
Speaker 1: But like an incident in the pool with a mouse
Speaker 1: is not okay, make me understand, Brian, that came with
Speaker 1: me to the Today Show and Hoda asked if she
Speaker 1: could come on, and it was really funny because they
Speaker 1: had Brinn over on the side. You know, they'll put
Speaker 1: like a camera for teasers and then they'll show someone.
Speaker 1: And so she was over there. But what happened was
Speaker 1: when we mentioned her, she just walked out onto the
Speaker 1: stage and it was so cute, just came up to
Speaker 1: the desk and started talking to us. So the table
Speaker 1: it was really funny. But what's not as funny but
Speaker 1: came out even funnier. Was an hour and change before
Speaker 1: the actual appearance for the Today Show where I was
Speaker 1: co hosting, and incidentally Christopher Buckle. The night before I
Speaker 1: booked him and said to him one stipulation, you have
Speaker 1: to do me in complete drug store makeup. He said,
Speaker 1: but I must use my brushes. And today I went out,
Speaker 1: I bought broke drug store makeup. I had drug store
Speaker 1: makeups sent and today I said, now we're using drugstore brushes.
Speaker 1: So he used drugs store brushes and drug store makeup.
Speaker 1: He's never done it before and he said he would
Speaker 1: never have done it and he would never have thought
Speaker 1: it would perform like this. And after the show, I
Speaker 1: said to him, all right, so tell me the truth.
Speaker 1: If I said to you you I want to go
Speaker 1: to the Mechal and you're going to do my makeup
Speaker 1: for the mechal but it has to be drug store.
Speaker 1: What would you do when he said I absolutely yesterday
Speaker 1: I would have said absolutely not. Today I would say
Speaker 1: one hundred percent yes. So that was amazing. And then
Speaker 1: I went I was an hour and a half before
Speaker 1: going on the show, or an hour and change, and
Speaker 1: I looked around and I saw my assistant like seeming
Speaker 1: concerned on the phone, and like everyone just seemed a
Speaker 1: little hushed, and I was just wondering where the clothes were.
Speaker 1: And everyone was freaking out because I did not have
Speaker 1: an outfit to wear on the Today Show. It never
Speaker 1: made it with us, so it's not that funny because
Speaker 1: I was guest hosting, so I didn't want to be
Speaker 1: like an imposing on anyone in special attention. And now
Speaker 1: I have to go upstairs and borrow something. I was horrified.
Speaker 1: So they said I could go to this one woman's
Speaker 1: dressing room, and I was now looking at her dresses
Speaker 1: and they all look like talk show dresses, and I
Speaker 1: just like, but they're not my outfit and I loved
Speaker 1: my cute outfit. And I sort of was really bombed,
Speaker 1: but I had the show had to go on, so
Speaker 1: I saw on her rack this ridiculous. It looks like
Speaker 1: a gymnastics suit, is what it looks like. Not even
Speaker 1: a It doesn't look like a babies. It looks like
Speaker 1: a leotard from nineteen eighties, like Jamie Lee Curtis in
Speaker 1: the movie Perfect or like Suzanne Summers with the thigh Master.
Speaker 1: So I freaking threw on the Today's Show. It's a
Speaker 1: Today Show on it. It's like a gymnastic Onesie leotard
Speaker 1: that said Today's Show in bright rainbow colors. And I
Speaker 1: just I just did it. I just wore it, and
Speaker 1: I surprised Hoda. What was sucked was that before we
Speaker 1: had to do another piece outside, so I wore a
Speaker 1: trench coat over it. So I looked like a weird
Speaker 1: Lady of the night because I was wearing a trench coat.
Speaker 1: And she didn't understand what was going on because it
Speaker 1: was pre taped for something to be later dropped into
Speaker 1: the show. And then I came onto the set at
Speaker 1: nine o'clock at ten o'clock in the morning with a
Speaker 1: trench coat off, showing up for the Today's Show, and
Speaker 1: she goes, what are you doing? And I took it off.
Speaker 1: She goes, what is that? What are you wearing? And
Speaker 1: I was like, I forgot my clothes. I don't know
Speaker 1: what to tell you. And I said, you gotta come
Speaker 1: admit to the bit. And it became like a thing
Speaker 1: that's on every magazine right now, in every paper because
Speaker 1: I committed to the bit and what choice did I have?
Speaker 1: What choice did I have? So that was me co
Speaker 1: hosting the Today Show. I had a great time and
Speaker 1: it was so nice to have been there with me,
Speaker 1: and it was really nice. And it was hard because
Speaker 1: I was like distracted about the morning's events and how
Speaker 1: chaotic it was, and sometimes it's hard to keep yourself
Speaker 1: focused when you're thinking about other things. But somehow, I
Speaker 1: don't know, the show went on. Ooh, and just like that.
Speaker 1: The new Sex and the City show that I do
Speaker 1: hear is not great, but I didn't think the first
Speaker 1: one was that great. And now I'm gonna kind of
Speaker 1: just watch just because it's one of those things that
Speaker 1: I'll just keep in my arsenal when I need a show. Oh.
Speaker 1: I started it, and a lot of people were distracted
Speaker 1: by the plastic surgery in the first one, and maybe
Speaker 1: it's just that it's not great plastic surgery that it exists,
Speaker 1: but it's a lot of pressure for those women to
Speaker 1: still look as good, which they won't years later because
Speaker 1: it's so long after. But everyone's been like, ooh, she
Speaker 1: look got old. Well she didn't get old because she's older,
Speaker 1: but they shaded me. So I know Darren Star, the creator,
Speaker 1: and I know Sarah Jessica Parker, and one of these
Speaker 1: days I'll spill tea on my connection to Sarah Jessica
Speaker 1: Parker in addition to Andy Cohen. But it's no different
Speaker 1: than Housewives over there. Sarah Jessica Parker had to utter
Speaker 1: the words. So Sarah Jessica Parker is saying, I've almost
Speaker 1: rented in the Hampton six times? But that's what she said?
Speaker 1: Was it because of Bethany Frankel? Like shots fired? But
Speaker 1: by the way, go me, how many years after me
Speaker 1: leaving TV, am I still relevant now? Not only on
Speaker 1: train Wreck Reality TV, but now on train Wreck scripted TV.
Speaker 1: I mean I've got I mean I've been on Saturday
Speaker 1: Night with Maya Rudolph mentioning me that she was dressed
Speaker 1: as a statue of liberty, and she said, we've survived everything.
Speaker 1: We've survived because they're talking about COVID like that we'll survive,
Speaker 1: and she's like, we survived, Bethany Frankel. So now I'm
Speaker 1: getting But I loved being shaded on SNL, like that's
Speaker 1: a dream to be on SNL. So now I'm being
Speaker 1: shaded on and just like that, I love the haters.
Speaker 1: No one gets it. The haters pay the bills. The
Speaker 1: haters keep hating. Believe me, they always think that they're
Speaker 1: like gonna take me down. I'm gonna be so upset
Speaker 1: and so frustrated. Keep it coming when they stop talking,
Speaker 1: start worrying, Shady shady tea spilling SJP and Rosario and
Speaker 1: Darren Starr. Keep it coming.