WEBVTT - David Archuleta on Coming Out, American Idol, and Faith 0:00:00.600 --> 0:00:05.360 In uptown New York City. Underdogs created a sound that 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:07.160 changed music. 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:09.080 Forever, and we called it Ziska. 0:00:10.080 --> 0:00:16.920 And one label captured that sound like no other, Bonnie Records. 0:00:17.800 --> 0:00:21.160 I'm Mosy Peres and this is our thing, The Birth 0:00:21.200 --> 0:00:26.439 of Salsa in Nueva York, an original podcast from Poturo Studios. 0:00:27.000 --> 0:00:34.320 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts. 0:00:37.320 --> 0:00:40.440 Dear listener, there is a mention of suicide in this 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:46.280 upcoming interview, so take care while listening. You might remember 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.840 two thousand and eight for our historic presidential. 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:54.440 Election yes week, yes wee kay. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.520 But there was another race that I was also paying 0:01:00.560 --> 0:01:05.240 attention to, and it wasn't for a politician. This is 0:01:05.280 --> 0:01:06.399 a American Idol. 0:01:08.560 --> 0:01:09.040 That's right. 0:01:09.600 --> 0:01:14.279 I'm talking about this singing competition reality show American Idol. 0:01:14.720 --> 0:01:18.639 My daughter and I watched every week. It was season seven, 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:22.200 and we were rooting for a certain contestant. 0:01:22.480 --> 0:01:24.560 What you go saying now, I'm going to sing waiting 0:01:24.600 --> 0:01:26.039 on the World to Change by John Mayer. 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:32.640 Go for it me. My friends were all miss Unstead. 0:01:33.520 --> 0:01:41.160 Seventeen year old David Archuleta. David instantly became a fan 0:01:41.280 --> 0:01:45.240 favorite and rose to the top throughout the competition. Gaining 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:50.240 millions of votes, including yes, mine and my daughters. And 0:01:50.600 --> 0:01:54.240 one thing that made us root louder for David was 0:01:54.320 --> 0:01:59.600 that he had Latino Honduran roots. David made it to 0:01:59.600 --> 0:02:01.559 the finale for American Idol. 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:08.080 The winner by twelve million votes of American Idol two 0:02:08.120 --> 0:02:09.919 thousand and eight is. 0:02:11.680 --> 0:02:14.000 David Cook. 0:02:17.440 --> 0:02:24.120 But another David won, David Archulette, that went on to 0:02:24.160 --> 0:02:26.240 build a successful music career. 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:29.520 When the TV show happened, my family felt like we 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:34.320 had to look good for camera and show that we 0:02:34.320 --> 0:02:35.560 were happy Mormon family. 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:39.000 But behind the scenes, David was dealing with a whole 0:02:39.000 --> 0:02:42.680 lot of stress. His parents were having marital issues, and 0:02:42.720 --> 0:02:46.120 he had the pressure to be this model member of 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:48.600 the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints. 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:55.400 I always felt this guilt and shame because I felt 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:59.079 like I was had to keep something from everybody that 0:02:59.200 --> 0:03:01.960 made me not as good as what people thought of me. 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:05.040 Oh, they think I'm a good, sweet kid, and they 0:03:05.040 --> 0:03:07.240 don't know this secret that I have. 0:03:07.919 --> 0:03:11.840 David was grappling with his sexuality in front of millions 0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:14.480 of people watching on national television. 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:18.880 I'm supposed to be doing everything right because I have 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.400 the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, and I 0:03:21.440 --> 0:03:23.480 have to show how happy and blessed it makes me. 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:30.640 But instead, David felt cursed. Intimate same sex relations are 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:33.280 considered a sin in the Mormon Church. 0:03:33.480 --> 0:03:35.760 And so I thought, I've got this demon in me 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:39.000 that's trying to get me to go that direction, and 0:03:39.040 --> 0:03:41.160 I don't know what else I need to do to 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:43.960 stop it. While I was also kind of terrified because 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:46.440 I felt like if people found this out about me, 0:03:46.520 --> 0:03:47.840 they would know how dirty I was. 0:03:48.360 --> 0:03:51.480 Eighteen years later, David writes about this in his new 0:03:51.560 --> 0:03:56.480 memoir Devout, Losing My Faith to Find Myself, and a 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:58.720 new EP by the same title. 0:04:03.560 --> 0:04:04.520 From Futuro Media. 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:05.760 It's Latino, USA. 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:07.000 I'm Maria Josa. 0:04:07.400 --> 0:04:10.640 Today I sit down with singer David Archuleta in a 0:04:10.680 --> 0:04:20.640 revealing conversation about growing up queer and leaving the Mormon Church. David, 0:04:21.360 --> 0:04:23.200 if you could take a moment, because there are a 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:26.960 lot of people who don't know much about Church of 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:30.680 Latter day Saints Mormons, can you actually talk about what 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:34.120 church life looked like for you and your family. 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:36.880 Growing up Mormon. It was very sweet. It's a very 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:40.200 wholesome group of people to be around. Spend a lot 0:04:40.200 --> 0:04:44.640 of time doing gatherings like potlucks or dances, little parties. 0:04:44.680 --> 0:04:48.839 It's just very family centered with their focus. If someone 0:04:49.000 --> 0:04:52.000 was sick or someone was moving, everyone would go and help. 0:04:52.400 --> 0:04:54.839 They're very mindful of each other and if someone needed 0:04:54.880 --> 0:04:57.600 help or service, it's just what we were raised to do. 0:04:57.680 --> 0:05:01.400 Like I really loved that part of looking out for 0:05:01.480 --> 0:05:03.200 the person who may be forgotten. 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.720 Thank you for describing the beauty of the Mormon church 0:05:06.760 --> 0:05:10.039 and community, which is we actually live in community. We 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:12.560 help each other, but at the same time, there is 0:05:12.800 --> 0:05:13.680 this exclusion. 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:14.040 Right. 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.839 Do you have a specific memory that you can share 0:05:16.960 --> 0:05:21.880 about when you were a little kid and you realized, Oh, 0:05:22.040 --> 0:05:23.440 I think I like boys. 0:05:24.080 --> 0:05:27.440 Yeah, gosh, let me see, I love any explout the 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:32.520 book because there's a little moment on page twenty seven. 0:05:33.800 --> 0:05:34.760 Okay, go ahead. 0:05:36.200 --> 0:05:40.400 In my second grade class in Utah, there was this boy, JD. 0:05:41.600 --> 0:05:43.960 JD and I walked home together a few times. 0:05:44.600 --> 0:05:46.520 I found myself wanting to be around him more and 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:50.680 invited him over to hang out. I felt the same 0:05:50.720 --> 0:05:53.440 butterflies for JD as I had for Brittany and Kimberly 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:54.440 some of these other girls. 0:05:54.480 --> 0:05:55.040 I also had. 0:05:55.040 --> 0:05:59.200 Little questions on but WHOA hold up? I thought the 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:03.160 feelings can be saying because JD was a boy, having 0:06:03.160 --> 0:06:05.640 those kinds of feelings for a boy doesn't exist, does it. 0:06:14.560 --> 0:06:17.040 I was always told boys like girls and girls like boys. 0:06:17.520 --> 0:06:21.039 Why am I feeling these feelings for JD? 0:06:21.640 --> 0:06:24.200 We're just in second grade and I started getting really 0:06:24.240 --> 0:06:26.320 scared because I was like, is there something wrong with me? 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:29.000 You just kind of like, ah, don't pay too much 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:29.560 attention to it. 0:06:29.600 --> 0:06:31.880 But it's like then you see JD again, and it's 0:06:31.880 --> 0:06:34.400 like you feel like all the blood rush to your 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:37.440 cheeks and you're like, why do I like him like this? 0:06:37.880 --> 0:06:39.839 I'm thinking he's, oh, he's just my friend. But it's 0:06:39.839 --> 0:06:43.080 like I don't usually feel like this for my friends. 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:45.640 What's going on? I'm very confused, and at the time, 0:06:45.680 --> 0:06:48.560 no one told me that that was even possible. So 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:50.400 I was just like, Okay, I just need to hide 0:06:50.720 --> 0:06:52.920 because this is I don't want people to see that 0:06:52.960 --> 0:06:53.839 something's wrong with me. 0:06:54.440 --> 0:06:56.520 You know, you write this was so hard for me 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.359 to read. At eight years old, I was living in 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:05.680 a state of terror about being exposed. So obviously you 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:10.280 knew this from a very young age. So let's take 0:07:10.280 --> 0:07:13.720 a moment for young people who might be listening to this, 0:07:13.840 --> 0:07:17.280 who might be queer or gay, and who might be 0:07:17.480 --> 0:07:21.960 in a very strict religion. How are you navigating your 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:26.360 identity as a little kid when you're eight to eighteen. 0:07:27.000 --> 0:07:30.480 I didn't have the resources that I am able to 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:35.080 have now to understand not everyone's the same and that 0:07:35.160 --> 0:07:37.640 people are different. When I was young, I thought everyone 0:07:37.680 --> 0:07:40.680 is supposed to be this way, especially like in the 0:07:40.720 --> 0:07:41.200 Mormon Church. 0:07:41.240 --> 0:07:43.200 It's like we all have to become clean and pure 0:07:43.520 --> 0:07:44.760 and obedient. 0:07:45.040 --> 0:07:50.640 And get married and have a lot of kids, create 0:07:50.680 --> 0:07:52.360 a family, and the only way to do that is 0:07:52.400 --> 0:07:55.480 to marry the opposite sex and then make children with 0:07:55.880 --> 0:07:59.680 your spouse. And so I was like, Oka, can you 0:07:59.760 --> 0:08:02.120 to do whatever I can to fit that. I got 0:08:02.120 --> 0:08:05.760 engaged several times because that's what I was told by 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:08.680 my church leaders, like when I would open up about it, 0:08:08.680 --> 0:08:10.720 Because there were times I opened up about my Hey, 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.360 I think I might be gay or I might be 0:08:12.440 --> 0:08:15.800 queer bisexual, and I'm not sure, And I just thought 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.520 of it as a challenge because my church leader said, oh, 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:22.080 you're not gay, you just struggle with same sex attraction. 0:08:23.000 --> 0:08:27.600 And there's a difference because same sex attraction. You have 0:08:27.720 --> 0:08:29.760 the feelings and you knowledge them, but you don't act 0:08:29.760 --> 0:08:31.360 on them, so there's still a chance for you to 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:35.640 be pure and clean. But being gay means you've accepted 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:38.200 the feelings and you allow yourself to fall in love 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:39.960 with someone of the same sex, and that's where the 0:08:40.000 --> 0:08:42.640 sin lies. So they would say, if you get married, 0:08:42.679 --> 0:08:45.640 God will bless you and help you overcome these feelings, 0:08:46.600 --> 0:08:49.800 which is why I got engaged and almost married a 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:50.520 few times. 0:08:51.000 --> 0:08:53.240 It was scary because I always. 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:56.200 Thought I can't I can't allow that idea to come 0:08:56.280 --> 0:08:58.920 in my head because I'll turn gay, and that's one 0:08:58.960 --> 0:09:01.200 of the worst things I can do. I thought it 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:06.440 was comparable to murder and pedophilia, and so I was like, 0:09:06.480 --> 0:09:10.040 I'd rather give my life than accept one of the 0:09:10.080 --> 0:09:12.880 worst crimes, you know. I said it in a prayer. 0:09:13.000 --> 0:09:16.120 God was like, in prayer, it is like, stop asking 0:09:16.120 --> 0:09:19.040 me to change you, because you've been asking for like 0:09:19.240 --> 0:09:21.600 twenty years now for me to change you, and I'm 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.600 not going to because you're not supposed to change. I 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:25.920 want you to find the beauty in life as you are, 0:09:26.440 --> 0:09:29.160 because there is beauty as you are. Even if you 0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:32.600 fall in love with a man that's okay, which I 0:09:32.760 --> 0:09:35.680 had never heard in church. I just knew it wasn't 0:09:35.720 --> 0:09:38.600 going to change who I was. And I also didn't 0:09:38.640 --> 0:09:42.000 want to live pretending, you know, like in denial, pretending 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:44.120 that I wasn't queer. 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:48.520 That's amazing, though, that you were spiritual enough that you 0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:51.720 could actually hear God saying I love you. I love 0:09:51.760 --> 0:09:55.880 you just the way you are. So why did you decide, Okay, 0:09:55.880 --> 0:09:56.880 I'm going to write the book. 0:09:57.400 --> 0:09:59.320 I feel like I never was able to be fully 0:09:59.360 --> 0:10:02.520 honest because of the very beliefs that I was taught. 0:10:05.040 --> 0:10:07.200 The same beliefs teaching me to be honest, we're also 0:10:07.280 --> 0:10:12.440 teaching me, well, unless you are gay or queer, and 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:14.160 I just felt like, if we're all supposed to be 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:16.600 equal in one I feel like there's something wrong here. 0:10:16.640 --> 0:10:19.040 And so I felt like I always had to hold 0:10:19.080 --> 0:10:21.240 this part of me back. Thus I wasn't really being 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.000 able to be fully honest with my audience. I was 0:10:24.000 --> 0:10:25.880 trying to get people to follow me and listen to 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.880 me and watch me and saying that I was being myself, 0:10:28.880 --> 0:10:33.480 but I always had to lock this part away. So 0:10:33.960 --> 0:10:36.080 writing the book felt like, Okay, now I can just 0:10:36.120 --> 0:10:39.640 be one hundred percent honest. I can show my life 0:10:39.760 --> 0:10:42.200 wasn't perfect. So I think it's also important though, to 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:45.920 acknowledge that God was the one who told me no, 0:10:45.960 --> 0:10:48.600 not all the answers are here. Something you need to 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:51.199 figure out yourself. You can't rely on someone else telling 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:53.600 you this is the right way, this is the right choice, 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:55.760 this is the right commandment. Because I did that with 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:57.920 my church, I did that with my dad, I did 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:01.960 that with my managers, always looking for someone else to 0:11:02.000 --> 0:11:04.760 tell me what was the right thing to do. And 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:08.920 it's like, well, David, how about you take responsibility and 0:11:08.920 --> 0:11:12.680 accountability for your own choices and figure out what's really 0:11:12.679 --> 0:11:13.200 the right thing. 0:11:17.080 --> 0:11:19.920 When we come back, David Archuletta opens up about his 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:21.560 journey of self acceptance. 0:11:22.200 --> 0:11:24.600 Life isn't over just because you messed up, and that 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:26.360 was something I needed to learn myself. 0:11:28.000 --> 0:11:28.600 Stay with us. 0:11:29.240 --> 0:11:47.520 Yes, Hey girl, Hey, it's Karina Garcia, YouTuber entrepreneur or 0:11:47.600 --> 0:11:50.760 most famously known as the Slime Queen. What's good, y'all? 0:11:50.760 --> 0:11:53.959 It's Mayra Garcia, livestock content creator, also known as Mara 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:56.920 Touch of Lamb. And by the way, we're two ends y'all, 0:11:57.200 --> 0:12:00.360 and we have our podcast together chins and giggles. Join 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.600 us every week as we take our listeners behind the 0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.479 scenes into our everyday lives and catch up on the achievement. 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.480 From lifestyle tips and advice to off the wall and 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:13.560 unfiltered conversations about relationships, sex, and pop culture. No topic 0:12:13.760 --> 0:12:16.480 is off limits. You can catch us every Thursdays on 0:12:16.520 --> 0:12:19.559 our podcast platforms and Fridays on YouTube. Don't forget to 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:25.839 subscribe it because you won't want to miss a single episode. 0:12:28.040 --> 0:12:31.440 It's Latino Usa. I'm Maria no Hosan. I'm speaking with 0:12:31.520 --> 0:12:36.400 singer songwriter David Archuletta about navigating his sexuality as a 0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:39.680 member of the Mormon Church, all while rising to fame 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:43.960 after almost winning American Idol. Now we're going to continue 0:12:44.000 --> 0:12:47.480 my conversation with David about life after the show and 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:53.599 his journey to embracing his authentic self. So back to 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:58.480 the American Idol part. You know, you become this superstar. Frankly, 0:12:59.040 --> 0:13:03.600 you're in the Spotlight. Girls including my daughter, thought, oh 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.720 my god, he's so cute, and you release your first 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:20.600 big single, which is Crush This Crush. The song blows 0:13:20.679 --> 0:13:22.679 up in the music video. You're like, oh my god, 0:13:22.720 --> 0:13:24.760 I love this girl, and you're like google the eyes 0:13:24.800 --> 0:13:26.880 to the girls in the videos. But I was like, 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.080 wait a second, there are all these boys in this 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:34.960 video without their shirts on, Like okay, David is acting 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.000 like the only ones he's attracted two other girls. What 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:39.720 do you think about when you hear that song and 0:13:39.800 --> 0:13:40.640 you see that video. 0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:44.000 I just look at it as a fun moment of 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:45.400 time in my career. 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:48.200 You act a lot of times in music videos, so 0:13:48.400 --> 0:13:50.640 I didn't look at it as this is a representation 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.120 of my life. Even the song itself, I was just like, 0:13:53.200 --> 0:13:55.360 this is a great song. I didn't look at it 0:13:55.400 --> 0:13:59.200 as my story because it wasn't. I didn't allow myself 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:02.360 to feel that way for people because I felt like 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:05.000 if I let myself feel those feelings, they would come 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:07.960 out for the wrong people, for the wrong sex. 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.240 I just look back, and I do see a very 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:15.120 like in his head. Boy. Everything he did was very calculated. 0:14:15.360 --> 0:14:17.600 Everything was thought out ahead of time to make sure 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:20.440 that I didn't do anything wrong. But yeah, I think 0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.680 even at the boys, like when they're taking their shirts off, 0:14:22.680 --> 0:14:25.920 I already knew like back then, I was programmed, don't look, 0:14:26.160 --> 0:14:29.000 don't think anything, and that's your job is to be 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:33.880 a good boy, obedient boy, not thinking anything inappropriate. So 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:36.160 I just did everything I could to pretend like the 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:37.160 boys weren't even there. 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:41.600 If so, you keep releasing music, but you're still very 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:43.920 much a part of the Mormon Church. And so in 0:14:44.000 --> 0:14:48.080 twenty twelve, you go on what all Mormons do, which 0:14:48.120 --> 0:14:49.480 is to go on a mission. 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:51.440 You go to Chile. 0:14:51.800 --> 0:14:56.000 Actually, can you explain what the importance of a mission 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:57.960 is in general? 0:14:58.000 --> 0:14:59.600 And then a lot happens. 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:02.800 To you as a missionary. Your purpose is to bring 0:15:03.080 --> 0:15:06.520 other people to Christ. Do you want to baptize them 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:11.280 into the church and have more members join? And you 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:15.800 do acts of service, you do service projects, and just 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:17.200 like try to be nice to everybody. 0:15:17.360 --> 0:15:19.880 Really, a lot of us have good intentions. 0:15:19.880 --> 0:15:22.280 But I also felt like, looking back, I'm like, oh man, 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:25.440 I feel a little cringe because you're really trying to 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.680 force your message convince them like, hey, you have to 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:30.920 listen to my message and join my church. And sometimes 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.600 you do it in pretty intense ways, but at the time, 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:38.040 you know, you don't look at it as imposing on 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:40.360 other people. You're just like, my mission is to bring 0:15:40.400 --> 0:15:44.800 people to Christ and to save them, is how you 0:15:44.840 --> 0:15:50.880 look at it. 0:15:50.880 --> 0:15:54.000 It was on this mission in Chile that David had 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.600 a heart to heart with a church leader and he 0:15:56.720 --> 0:16:00.200 opened up about his sexuality. He came back home, I'm 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:03.280 in twenty fourteen after the two year mission, and that's 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:06.360 when he came out to his family. But David kept 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:10.280 his sexuality and identity hidden from his fans for many 0:16:10.280 --> 0:16:14.520 more years. Then in twenty twenty one, he shared his 0:16:14.600 --> 0:16:15.760 big secret. 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:19.680 David art Letta is sharing his truth this morning about 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:23.520 his sexuality, his faith, and where the two meet. 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:33.960 By the next year, David left the Mormon Church. So 0:16:34.480 --> 0:16:40.480 what's your sense about in your relationship with faith, with God, 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:41.920 with spirituality. 0:16:42.400 --> 0:16:46.760 I don't consider myself religious, but I do feel a deep. 0:16:46.560 --> 0:16:47.720 Sense of spirituality. 0:16:48.440 --> 0:16:52.280 And before it was so specific, like this is what 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:56.080 God is, like I thought the Mormon Church had the answers. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:56.800 God is a man. 0:16:57.000 --> 0:16:59.760 God is married to a woman, which is why we 0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:02.920 have to get married to become like God. And I'm 0:17:02.960 --> 0:17:05.760 just like you know what I think God and spirituality. 0:17:06.760 --> 0:17:11.920 Each person experiences it uniquely in a different way. And 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:14.520 a lot of people told me what you experienced wasn't 0:17:14.600 --> 0:17:18.160 God because he didn't answer you the way I thought 0:17:18.160 --> 0:17:20.160 he should answer you, and I'm like, you know what, 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.440 then maybe I don't want to believe in the same 0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:26.160 God as you because you want God to be mad 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:29.240 and hate me. I don't want to be a part 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.840 of this. You're trying to look for a reason for 0:17:32.040 --> 0:17:35.639 God to hate me just because of who I happen 0:17:35.680 --> 0:17:38.760 to fall in love with. I believe that there's something 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:42.960 greater that connects everybody, and that there's a source of 0:17:43.040 --> 0:17:43.920 creation of life. 0:17:44.640 --> 0:17:45.639 Is he a man? I don't know. 0:17:46.160 --> 0:17:47.960 Does he have a white beard? I don't think so. 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:50.879 But that was what I was always taught. And I'm like, 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:52.680 you know what, we don't have as many answers as 0:17:52.680 --> 0:17:53.360 we think we do. 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:56.760 And after reading your book, I went to listen to 0:17:56.800 --> 0:18:00.360 the album and the album is also called Devout, and 0:18:00.480 --> 0:18:02.720 I just got to tell you. The first song I 0:18:02.760 --> 0:18:07.800 listened to was Stay, and I was like, oh my god, like, 0:18:07.920 --> 0:18:10.520 this is a suicide prevention song. 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:17.000 Stay, Stay A promise You're not alway is gonna be 0:18:17.400 --> 0:18:24.480 this way? Stay? Stay A promise you it's gonna be 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:26.200 alright someday. 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:29.800 What was it like to write that song Stay? 0:18:30.760 --> 0:18:33.200 I had gotten to that point when I was out 0:18:33.200 --> 0:18:36.040 of low, when I had hit a rock bottom at 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:39.920 my life, and so I was just thinking, if there's 0:18:39.960 --> 0:18:43.119 somebody else who may get there and feeling hopeless and 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:49.480 feels alone and like there's nobody there who understands them, 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:53.320 I want to write a song that helps reach them 0:18:53.720 --> 0:19:01.120 at that place. I think a lot of times, even 0:19:01.160 --> 0:19:03.399 in religion or just the way you're raised, the people 0:19:03.400 --> 0:19:05.120 a year around to tell you that you're not good 0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:08.320 enough and you'll never be enough. I wanted to let 0:19:08.480 --> 0:19:11.400 just kind of let people say, hey, like forget that 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:14.520 that's not true. And I know that it hurts, and 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.239 I know that it can feel frustrating and you can 0:19:17.280 --> 0:19:20.800 feel hopeless if you give yourself another chance to live 0:19:20.800 --> 0:19:23.800 your life just how you want instead of trying to 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:26.440 hide and fit into someone else's What if you gave 0:19:26.480 --> 0:19:28.960 yourself a chance to live your life just as who 0:19:29.000 --> 0:19:33.880 you are and be authentically yourself and even if that's 0:19:33.920 --> 0:19:40.119 broken to just to find joy in life is what 0:19:40.200 --> 0:19:42.840 I hope people can find from it. 0:19:49.520 --> 0:20:14.320 We'll be right back, Yes, Hey, we're back. 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:17.600 I'm going to wrap up my conversation with David Archuletta 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:23.040 about his latest music and his memoir Devout. You write 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:25.880 this song, you perform this song, on Purpose, where in fact, 0:20:26.000 --> 0:20:29.240 you sing about dealing with shame and accepting yourself. 0:20:29.680 --> 0:20:36.040 No, I'm not perfect, but I'm not a bad person. 0:20:37.760 --> 0:20:41.880 I'm trying to learn everything, so I have a feu 0:20:42.000 --> 0:20:45.480 urings I deserve. 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:50.840 To make mystics on passe. Can you talk a little 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:52.800 bit about the song on Purpose? 0:20:53.320 --> 0:20:53.840 On Purpose? 0:20:53.880 --> 0:20:57.640 I feel as has been one of my theme songs 0:20:57.920 --> 0:20:59.800 for the beginning of the year and with the book, 0:20:59.840 --> 0:21:04.400 because yeah, I'm used to feeling shame. It's just it's 0:21:04.640 --> 0:21:07.880 part of how I was raised and feeling a lot 0:21:07.920 --> 0:21:11.040 of it, and so the song is telling myself, Hey, 0:21:11.680 --> 0:21:14.120 I feel so embarrassed, like how could I have done that? 0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:15.320 Like that's so messy. 0:21:15.960 --> 0:21:18.560 But I'm like, you know what, it's okay to be messy, 0:21:19.160 --> 0:21:23.800 and it's okay to fall and to make mistakes. Before 0:21:23.840 --> 0:21:25.919 I would I was trying to avoid, like, no, I 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:27.639 can't do anything wrong, and it's like, you know what, 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:32.399 David be messy, make mistakes like Miss Frizzle in the 0:21:32.440 --> 0:21:33.359 Magic School Bus. 0:21:33.400 --> 0:21:39.840 She would say chance mistakes. 0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:42.680 And I loved her character because she learned so much 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:45.080 and they went on so many adventures because she didn't 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:48.040 let fear get in the way of preventing her from 0:21:48.440 --> 0:21:52.159 living and exploring. So you discover so much about life 0:21:52.200 --> 0:21:56.679 and learn and educate yourself, and that's I feel like 0:21:56.720 --> 0:21:59.240 that's what that song is about. Life isn't over just 0:21:59.240 --> 0:22:01.480 because you messed up. And that was something I needed 0:22:01.520 --> 0:22:04.560 to learn myself. It was very therapeutic to write the 0:22:04.600 --> 0:22:08.320 song and tell myself and manifest I'll make mistakes on purpose, 0:22:08.400 --> 0:22:10.240 even we're supposed. 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:15.760 To love that. So I watched the video of crim Brewlay. 0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:15.880 Had a taste of. 0:22:19.760 --> 0:22:25.200 That goes out speaking Leo, I. 0:22:25.160 --> 0:22:25.840 Just want to say. 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:30.439 I was like, damn, he's a great dancer too. The 0:22:30.600 --> 0:22:34.399 video is phenomenal. Talk just a moment about crim Breulay 0:22:34.400 --> 0:22:36.640 and what are you trying to say there with crim Bulay. 0:22:36.680 --> 0:22:39.439 Well, thank you so much. I'm not an amazing dancer, 0:22:39.480 --> 0:22:42.399 but I do love to move. It's therapeutic to me. 0:22:42.960 --> 0:22:45.720 My mom was a dancer. She danced outside and medenge 0:22:45.840 --> 0:22:49.359 vachata and like mainly South SAP. But I feel like 0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:51.800 I get a love for moving from her and it's 0:22:51.840 --> 0:22:55.080 part of the culture to love to dance. And the 0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:58.720 song krim Breulay, it was about fluidity and just showing 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:02.200 it doesn't have to always look straight and the same. 0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:04.320 It can be flirty, it can be sexy, but it 0:23:04.320 --> 0:23:07.560 doesn't have to be too like explicit. It can be 0:23:07.640 --> 0:23:12.120 like wholesome sexy, and it has sweetness but also some 0:23:12.160 --> 0:23:15.480 savory and spicy to it. And yeah, I love getting 0:23:15.520 --> 0:23:18.360 to sing the song and be flirtatious and be playful. 0:23:18.880 --> 0:23:21.600