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Speaker 1: We're back. I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth and

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Speaker 1: coming in September a new site we have built together

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Speaker 1: called Defecto or Defector, and we're gonna have a new

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Speaker 1: podcast to go with it, this Verry Podcast, which has

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Speaker 1: the name The Distraction. It's out right now at available

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Speaker 1: every rust. Get your podcast at such a Spotify, Apple,

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Speaker 1: Go listen right now to The Distraction everywhere. It's out

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Speaker 1: right now. Go listen to see I buy your own. God,

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Speaker 1: I wish my father would have told me what Mary

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Speaker 1: sex is like. That came out wrong, God, and your dad,

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Speaker 1: Oh gosh, all right, I I apologize. God, I don't

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Speaker 1: mean to say that like that, but dead as I

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Speaker 1: needed somebody to tell me what I was in store

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Speaker 1: for because this year right here, well, I mean me too.

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Speaker 1: I wish somebody told me I'd have to bust the

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Speaker 1: wide open every day. Your mother tell you that, she

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Speaker 1: and tell me that, man, it's messed up. Hey, I'm

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Speaker 1: Cadine and and we're the Ellis. You may know us

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Speaker 1: from posting funny videos with our boys and reading each

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Speaker 1: other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make

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Speaker 1: you need derby most days wow. Oh, and one more

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Speaker 1: important thing to mention, we're married, Yes, sir, we are.

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Speaker 1: We created this podcast to open dialogue about some of

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Speaker 1: life's most taboo topics, things most folks don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk about through the lens of a millennial married couple.

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Speaker 1: Dead ass is a term that we say every day.

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Speaker 1: When we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,

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Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We're about

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Speaker 1: to take Phillow's talk to a whole new level. Dead

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Speaker 1: ask starts now. So I roll over to my wife.

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Speaker 1: She's looking good in the bed. She don't got no

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Speaker 1: pennies on. I'm like, baby, you sleep. She go, I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 1: that's definitely might like, oh god, I know what he's

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Speaker 1: about to ask. So I'm like, so, I'm like, yo,

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Speaker 1: you up. She likes, I'm I'm not in a mood,

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Speaker 1: but if you wanted, you could take it. And then

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Speaker 1: she rolled over her stomach and poke up butter and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, this is what we're doing. Now. There's

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Speaker 1: moments like that where I just have to give consent

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Speaker 1: and be like, all right, we'll go ahead, do what

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Speaker 1: you gotta do. And it's a lot of times too,

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Speaker 1: because I ain't signed up for that, be Yo, I

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Speaker 1: ain't signed That's why I started my voice mad low,

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Speaker 1: because I knew my voice is gonna get high, because

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Speaker 1: I knew I was going getting my emotions. But I

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Speaker 1: ain't signed up for that. B That's that's, that's that

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Speaker 1: thing called married sex, married sex. How the sex changes

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Speaker 1: a little bit with marriage? Do you feel like it's changed? Bab?

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Speaker 1: Did you really have to ask me that question? Did

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Speaker 1: you not hear my voice go up? Three options octaves?

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Speaker 1: I know how story time levels have changed, huh, from

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Speaker 1: the load to the high. I got him all in

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Speaker 1: his feelings married sex, married sex. I'm gonna call your

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Speaker 1: big daddy and scream your name. Matter of fact, I

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Speaker 1: can't wait for you, ken Range. So what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: I get my swirrelve on, bring it, louve, make it

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Speaker 1: last forever. Damn the kitty cast time Daddy slowed down

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Speaker 1: on your flow. Put it on me like a g baby,

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Speaker 1: nice and slow. I need a rough nack nicking man

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Speaker 1: dingle in the second. Wain afraid toup on my hands,

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Speaker 1: paint me from the back, no doubt I'm the player

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Speaker 1: that you're talking about. But do you really think that

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Speaker 1: you could work it as I got to your shorty.

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Speaker 1: It's real. Do the man of still doing it and

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Speaker 1: doing it. It's doing it. Well, that's my song. I

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Speaker 1: love its. You gotta learn the words of that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you just be messing my songs all the way up.

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Speaker 1: So I just sing the sounds that's the most and

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Speaker 1: don't disrespect the song like that. Okay, I'm not disress

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Speaker 1: doing it. Well, you can tell I'm fresh to you

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Speaker 1: see the lyrics. I'm so fresh fresh when singing with it.

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Speaker 1: It's all that's my stock coming. That's my jam. As

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Speaker 1: I sat when I say, yeah, you sound like I

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Speaker 1: noticed word for word. They know, little Kim, Now you

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Speaker 1: got it going. I can't wait to your mother here this.

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Speaker 1: I can't this episode. So what are we talking about today? Sex?

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Speaker 1: Let's talk about sex several several several songs. So, yeah,

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Speaker 1: Mary's sex. What does it mean in our relationship? I mean,

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Speaker 1: what does it mean in any relationship? It's crazy because

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Speaker 1: when we asked about questions for the podcast, you know,

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Speaker 1: you put the question up on our Instagram stories and

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Speaker 1: I would say, well, we got thousands of questions in,

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Speaker 1: but so many of them had to do with sex, marriage, intimacy,

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Speaker 1: how to keep the sparks, Yeah, I think, because that's

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Speaker 1: probably what men and women not Probably that's what men

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Speaker 1: and women struggle with. I think a lot of finances, yeah,

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Speaker 1: within relationships, you know, and yeah, finances, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I'd like to spend let's get started, sexual expectations when married.

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Speaker 1: How do we deal with this? We don't deal with it.

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Speaker 1: We don't. To be honest, sex is probably the most

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Speaker 1: debated and discussed and argued about topic within our household

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Speaker 1: at least, and I'm sure a lot of couples feel

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Speaker 1: the same way. So here's my thing, right, our parents.

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Speaker 1: I know for a fact, my parents didn't talk to

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Speaker 1: me about sex. No, Like my father's conversation with me

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Speaker 1: with sex was, yo, you know I got condoms in

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Speaker 1: my bottom draw right, And I was like, yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what old old high school. So it waited till high

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Speaker 1: school because I feel like nowadays we're going to have

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Speaker 1: to have that discussion with our sons, like earlier on yeah,

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Speaker 1: thank YouTube, yeah, YouTube, social media and some of somebody's

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Speaker 1: raggedy ass kids. That being a class that's talking about

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Speaker 1: stuff away before their time, Like you got about somebody's

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Speaker 1: kids are ragged d okay, makes me want to home school.

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Speaker 1: But the funny thing is is no one ever speaks

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Speaker 1: like they act like sex is taboo in a marriage,

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Speaker 1: you know, like we talk about single sex all the time,

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Speaker 1: we talk about open relationships all the time, and when

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Speaker 1: it comes to marriage, nobody talk about sex. And for me,

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Speaker 1: I kind of feel like married people are unprepared for

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Speaker 1: when they're married and how to deal with sex issues

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Speaker 1: because no one talks about it. All right, So let's

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Speaker 1: talk about expectations with sex, right, I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: perfectly honest. When you get married as a man, you

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Speaker 1: expect when you first get married to be able to

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Speaker 1: have sex whenever you want to have sex. That's what

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Speaker 1: people think, like, Oh, I'm a man, I got me

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Speaker 1: a woman. I'm you know, she wants me to be monogamous.

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Speaker 1: I only want to be with her. So when I'm horny,

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Speaker 1: me and my wife have sex. And we also expect

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Speaker 1: that our women are going to want to have sex

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Speaker 1: when we want to have sex as well. That don't

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Speaker 1: happen talk about it. So the whole shot out the

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Speaker 1: window because that's not how it goes. And I think

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Speaker 1: also too well, first off, let me just dial back

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Speaker 1: for a second. Sex and the topic of sex in

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Speaker 1: my household did not even happen really, No, it was

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Speaker 1: very awkward. My father never ever mentioned sex ever, and

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Speaker 1: I probably felt like, you know, as a girl, my

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Speaker 1: mom she had to be the one to anybody who

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Speaker 1: knows my mom a k A me me shout out

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Speaker 1: to you, but love you. However, very awkward with anything

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Speaker 1: having to deal with sex, you know, even when it

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Speaker 1: came time for like menstruation. She got me a book

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Speaker 1: and it was like a very kind of awkward discussion

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Speaker 1: about the book. Yeah, she gave me the book. She

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Speaker 1: was like, you know, I like for you to read,

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Speaker 1: so read this and let me know if you have

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Speaker 1: any questions. Um, but yeah, the sex topic was very, um,

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Speaker 1: kind of glazed over. No, tell them the story about

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Speaker 1: when we were getting married. Tell them you're trying to

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Speaker 1: dance around it. Well, first of all, um, my mom

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Speaker 1: knew prior to us getting married that Devil and I

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Speaker 1: were sexually active. I mean, we were together for like

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Speaker 1: seven eight years and she she did know, she did.

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Speaker 1: And this happened because she and I were on a

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Speaker 1: mother daughter vacation and she kind of just flat out

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Speaker 1: asked me in a very awkward way. We were sitting

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Speaker 1: at a bar side by side, eating and she was

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Speaker 1: just like, so, you know, are you sexually active? Like

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Speaker 1: first of all, when I was like, you want to

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Speaker 1: know if I'm having sex, Mom, I am yes, because

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Speaker 1: at that point we were we were talking or in

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Speaker 1: a relationship for like three or four years, Giamma, I

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Speaker 1: was giving it up like three or four years. Come on.

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Speaker 1: So it was very you know, awkward, and she almost

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Speaker 1: choked on her steak at the time. And and then

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Speaker 1: she said to me, um in a very again awkward way.

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Speaker 1: You know, I was really just hoping to, you know,

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Speaker 1: speak with you about sex, you know, on your the

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Speaker 1: night before your wedding, and and present you with like,

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Speaker 1: you know, your honeymoon nightgown, and let you know about

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Speaker 1: let you know about your husband, you know what he's

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Speaker 1: gonna do, how you address in your nightgown after the wedding,

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Speaker 1: and how he would undress you. And I was liker

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Speaker 1: to make and consummate the marriage. Who still says that nowadays.

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Speaker 1: I literally looked at her and I like bust out

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Speaker 1: laughing and I'm my mom, what I said, girl, shade?

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Speaker 1: But no shade, but more shade. You were five months

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Speaker 1: pregnant with me when you got married, so I had

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Speaker 1: a drop drop the bomb sound. I was like, girl,

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Speaker 1: you acting this if this is something for it, let

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Speaker 1: me guess. She kept the conversation. Yeah, yeah, that's what

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Speaker 1: you learn how to do it once the chief comes

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Speaker 1: out and then start kathy ship. It was totally like,

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Speaker 1: you know, well, Conny, you know I would like for

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Speaker 1: you to learn for my mistakes and I would like

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Speaker 1: for you to do better. And every parent wants their

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Speaker 1: child to do more and better than they did. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, well, I'm glad you got pregnant and

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Speaker 1: had that baby because that baby is me with steak.

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Speaker 1: That's what you're saying. Yeah, you have a mistake, you know.

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Speaker 1: Um So that's where the sex talk for me. So

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Speaker 1: that was it. So your mother never never prepared me

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Speaker 1: for marriage sex, and so what did you think? What

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Speaker 1: did you think, Okay, now that I'm a wife sex,

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Speaker 1: like this is what I should do or this is

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Speaker 1: what I'm expecting out of my marriage. What did you think?

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Speaker 1: To be completely honest, I did not think it was

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Speaker 1: going to take a turn or that dramatic of a turn,

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Speaker 1: because sex was never really an issue for us, you know,

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Speaker 1: being you know young, and you know, dating and stuff

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Speaker 1: like that. Sex was always great, and it was spontaneous

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Speaker 1: and it was frequent, so you never really foresee the

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Speaker 1: decline in sex happening. But sex is gonna be the

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Speaker 1: same as I was, you know, at eighteen. And but

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Speaker 1: and this is where men and women always different. You

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Speaker 1: didn't foresee the decline happening. And sex was always fine

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Speaker 1: for you because our drives have always been different. So

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Speaker 1: although in your mind, in your perspective, sex is fine,

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Speaker 1: in my mind set wasn't fine even before manage. Remember

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Speaker 1: we store talking in in college like can you dress up?

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Speaker 1: Can you do something to make it more spicy? And

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Speaker 1: then we got engaged like can you do this? Can

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Speaker 1: we role play? And the thing that we struggle with

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Speaker 1: the most is she'll be fine if we don't have

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Speaker 1: sex for three or four or five days a week,

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Speaker 1: And she's fine, and she's fine, Okay, a week maybe

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Speaker 1: pushing it. But in your mind you're like, oh, our

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Speaker 1: sex life is fine. I didn't have sex for four

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Speaker 1: or five days, I sex like fine. That don't mean

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Speaker 1: that our sex life is fine over here though, But

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Speaker 1: I know, but for I guess I look at the

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Speaker 1: quality of the sex versus the quantity. Like that's why

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Speaker 1: I said, I feel like the sex life is great

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Speaker 1: because it's like when we do do it, it's like amazing.

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Speaker 1: So I'm I'm more concerned with like the quality of

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Speaker 1: each time versus how frequent it is, because then we

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Speaker 1: have those moments where we're having sex frequently. Then you

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Speaker 1: you're you're hit me with the oh, well you didn't

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Speaker 1: seem like you were too into it, right, or you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna want to do it if you're not

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Speaker 1: all in, And I'm just like, well, you are fighting

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Speaker 1: with me about frequency, but can you under stick? But

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Speaker 1: can you understand where I'm coming from as a man,

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Speaker 1: as as a as a man, a grown a dunt man.

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Speaker 1: I keep myself in shape. I feel like I'm fairly attractive, right,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm attractive to members of the opposite sex.

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Speaker 1: I can I can find ways to have sex. I

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Speaker 1: can have sex when I want. Here you go see,

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Speaker 1: I'm speaking in hypothetical, But what I'm saying is I

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Speaker 1: can have sex when I'm in the mood to have sex.

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Speaker 1: So when I'm horny, I'm in the mood to have

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Speaker 1: sex and I don't get a chance to have sex.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't put me in a good happy place. But

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Speaker 1: for you, if you're not in the mood to have

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Speaker 1: sex and you don't have sex, you're fine. So what

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Speaker 1: happens is is for you, it's not just about quality

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Speaker 1: and quantity. It's just quality because you're not as horny

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Speaker 1: as I am. For me, it's about quality and quantity

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Speaker 1: because I need to have sex more often. And then

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Speaker 1: on top of that, if you're trying to keep up

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Speaker 1: with me those days in between when you really don't

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Speaker 1: feel like having sex, but we have sex, it really

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Speaker 1: does nothing for me because as as a man, you

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Speaker 1: want to hunt, you want that live action. She wants me.

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Speaker 1: I want her type of sex. You don't want that.

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Speaker 1: Let me roll over on my stomach and go take

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Speaker 1: it sex like that ship. Don't do nothing for me once,

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Speaker 1: once it's all over, I'm called man, Why not just

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Speaker 1: do that? Because I'm still warning exactly what I'm saying,

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Speaker 1: like and I just don't. I don't think men and

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Speaker 1: women will ever fully ever understand each other with that,

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Speaker 1: Like y'all bodies work differently than ours, like we're wired differently,

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Speaker 1: So that's just what it is, I mean. But then

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Speaker 1: we can also talk about the importance of always communicating

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Speaker 1: our needs because I think we're very open about that.

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Speaker 1: We're honest, we're very transparent. You let me know what

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Speaker 1: you want. Just because you tell me what you want,

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Speaker 1: don't mean you're gonna get it all the time. But

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try my best. I get that. I get that.

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Speaker 1: But my thing is as a man and a husband.

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Speaker 1: I feel like if women were more open and honest

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Speaker 1: with younger women about what it is to be married,

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Speaker 1: we wouldn't have these issues once people get married, and

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Speaker 1: the same thing for men with their sons. So for

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Speaker 1: like for me, for example, with with our boys. People

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Speaker 1: ask me all the time, are you gonna push your

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Speaker 1: kids to get married? No? Are you gonna talk to

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Speaker 1: your your boys by right now? I'm not because I

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Speaker 1: know firsthand and from speaking to all the married men

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Speaker 1: in my generation and past who only speak after we

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Speaker 1: start talking. Once you're married, sex in marriage is a problem.

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Speaker 1: And if you're pushing your kids to get married and

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Speaker 1: they're and they're not happy sexually, more than likely that's

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Speaker 1: a recipe for disaster. And those young men are either

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Speaker 1: going to cheat or they're gonna get a divorce. And

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Speaker 1: I want my sons to understand wholeheartedly what they're getting

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Speaker 1: into with sex in the marriage before they make that decision.

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Speaker 1: And if I had a daughter, I would tell her

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Speaker 1: the same thing. I would tell her, Like, listen, when

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Speaker 1: you get married to somebody, you're asking this one guy

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Speaker 1: for the rest of his life to just have sex

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Speaker 1: with you. And you're asking him with all this testosterone.

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Speaker 1: Because if she's anything like you, she's gonna date a

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Speaker 1: guy who works out a lot, ambitious, you know, saying

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Speaker 1: take care of himself. Guys like that have high testosterone,

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Speaker 1: they'd like to have sex often. Correct, correct, you do.

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Speaker 1: So if if my daughter is going to be anything

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Speaker 1: like you and it's gonna date guys like that, she's

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Speaker 1: going to have to understand what you're asking from a

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Speaker 1: man is not something that you're you're going to be

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Speaker 1: able to deal with often unless you know what it

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Speaker 1: is to go into that relationship. And it's just crazy

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Speaker 1: to me how there's so many facets, so many things

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Speaker 1: that go into being married to somebody. Why is it

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Speaker 1: that sex always falls at the top, Like, oh, because

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Speaker 1: if right, I'm a sex is not right, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: have a divorce. Sex. Sex so many different areas surrounding

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Speaker 1: marriage and relationships, and sex always seems to trump everything

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Speaker 1: because if I have sex with someone and and because

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Speaker 1: if I have sex with someone else, you're gonna want

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Speaker 1: to leave or kill that person. That's so, that's why

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Speaker 1: it's important. Like sex can't only be important to a

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Speaker 1: woman when they want it to be important. It has

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Speaker 1: to be important to you when it's important for me

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Speaker 1: as well. You can't say to a person, oh, why

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Speaker 1: it's sex important, and then say don't have sex to

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Speaker 1: nobody else because it means that much to me. Think

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Speaker 1: about how that sounds to a man. Well, of course,

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Speaker 1: if it means bringing another person into your relationship, thoughout

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Speaker 1: like that's that's not acceptable either. I agree that's not

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Speaker 1: acceptable either. So that's why, of course it would matter

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Speaker 1: to somebody else in that circumstance. But I get what

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Speaker 1: you're saying. You feel like, if it matters that much

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Speaker 1: to you, then you should make every effort to make

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Speaker 1: sure that I'm happy within the confines of our relationships exactly.

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Speaker 1: And my thing is if if if that woman and

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Speaker 1: I can't just say woman, because there are other relationships

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Speaker 1: where sometimes the men I was gonna say that too.

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Speaker 1: A couple of questions that we saw in our d M.

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Speaker 1: What do you do when the man sex drive is

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Speaker 1: lower than the women? So that's a that's a difference,

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Speaker 1: and that's and that's why I can't say man and women.

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Speaker 1: But that's why I say, if if you have a

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Speaker 1: lower sex drive than your partner, you you cannot just say, well,

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Speaker 1: you got to accept the fact that my sex drive

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Speaker 1: is lower and deal with it. I think at that point,

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Speaker 1: if you know your sex drive is lower, but you

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Speaker 1: want monogamy from that person, you have to work to

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Speaker 1: do everything in your power to help that person through

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Speaker 1: your sexual issues. And then vice versa. If you know

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Speaker 1: your sex drive is higher, you should be able to

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Speaker 1: work to help that person so that you can meet

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Speaker 1: in the middle. But I think too often the people

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Speaker 1: with the lower sex drive just dismiss it and say,

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Speaker 1: and we can say women, because majority of these issues

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Speaker 1: happened with husband and wives. Women just dismiss it as well,

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Speaker 1: I'm tired, I got a headache. You have to deal

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Speaker 1: with it. That's not we had several children. Our bodies

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Speaker 1: are different. Like there's so many factors, and I think

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's for lack of just wanting to

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Speaker 1: satisfy your partner or just wanting to have sex. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: your body chemistry just does not call for it, like

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Speaker 1: I've had times, especially after having the kids, recuperating from

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Speaker 1: having babies, you know, breastfeeding a lot of a lot

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Speaker 1: of things. Sometimes you just don't even want to be touched.

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Speaker 1: Like I've had moments like that, you know, where You've

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Speaker 1: just wondered like is it something that I'm doing wrong?

350
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Speaker 1: Or am I not doing enough of X y Z?

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Speaker 1: And I have to clearly communicate with you, like baby,

352
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Speaker 1: I just finished, like nursing and pumping this baby. You

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Speaker 1: know what I mean to feed this baby. And that's

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Speaker 1: very fair. You know it's hard. But what about people

355
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Speaker 1: whose kids are fourteen? You don't give me that excuse

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Speaker 1: when Jackson, when Jackson, when Jackson, Well, what about we

357
00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,439
Speaker 1: had these issues before you got pregnant with Kyro and

358
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Speaker 1: Jackson was five, So you weren't breastfeeding, you were pumping,

359
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Speaker 1: you were staying home, you weren't working nineteen hours. It

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Speaker 1: wasn't you didn't have those excuses. And the reason why

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Speaker 1: I say that is because I think it's unfair for

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Speaker 1: us to put a stigma. And this is me speaking

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Speaker 1: from a man's standpoint. This is why I'm just speaking

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Speaker 1: from a man standpoint. I think it's unfair when a

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Speaker 1: man doesn't want to settle down because he knows sexually

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Speaker 1: that he wants to continue to explore, people say, oh,

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Speaker 1: he's being immature. What about a woman who enjoys having

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Speaker 1: you know, a friend or you know, a buddy or

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Speaker 1: somebody who is just you know, they had that mutual

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Speaker 1: understanding where this is what it's gonna be, you know,

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Speaker 1: or she may have one or two people like that

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Speaker 1: who she's you know, in those kind of relationships with

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Speaker 1: Now she's a hell. Well, there's there's always a double standard.

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Speaker 1: But I think that women are women have grown a

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Speaker 1: lot in owning their own sexuality since I've been a child.

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Speaker 1: You know, back in the day, it was just oh,

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Speaker 1: you you know, you have your whole. Now people are

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Speaker 1: people are actually starting to applaud women who own their sexuality,

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Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. And I think there's a

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Speaker 1: difference when you talk about calling a woman a whole,

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Speaker 1: you know, that norm typically in our when men talked

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Speaker 1: about it, it it was, well, she's a hop because she's

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Speaker 1: just having sex for money. She's just having sex, but

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Speaker 1: these dots because she's wanting something. A professional woman who

385
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Speaker 1: has multiple partners because she doesn't want to deal with

386
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Speaker 1: anybody's bullshit, and she make her own money, she lived

387
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Speaker 1: in her own life. I don't see her as a hope.

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Speaker 1: I don't see her no different than I see a

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Speaker 1: dude who does the same thing. And I think that's

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00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:51,919
Speaker 1: where we've grown as a society. But I feel like

391
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Speaker 1: in a marriage, you don't have those options to just

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Speaker 1: be able to have a funk buddy because people have

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Speaker 1: issues with that. So my thing is, if if you're

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Speaker 1: a wife and you don't want your husband to have

395
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Speaker 1: us buddy, or if you're a husband and you don't

396
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,960
Speaker 1: want your wife to have a buddy, we have to

397
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:07,919
Speaker 1: continue to work together to help each other sexually. You

398
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,640
Speaker 1: can't just leave someone to their own devices and say

399
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 1: deal with it, because once you do that and you

400
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Speaker 1: just say, well you got to deal with it, that's

401
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 1: when it comes all right, I'm gonna deal with it. Yeah,

402
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,159
Speaker 1: there's definitely not a deal with it. I mean for

403
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,760
Speaker 1: us at least. I think that's why you and I

404
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: to having the transparency and being able to talk about it,

405
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 1: and you're letting me know, like, hey, you gotta help

406
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,159
Speaker 1: me out here. You got to do this, or I'll

407
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 1: let you know to that. You can't come home and

408
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:31,359
Speaker 1: just want to smash. I need a little bit of

409
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,359
Speaker 1: for play. You need to get this engine started, like

410
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,840
Speaker 1: you need to to to massage me a little bit.

411
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Speaker 1: You don't mind doing, which I just wish that people

412
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,359
Speaker 1: would have. Expectations would have been different if we'd have

413
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,080
Speaker 1: been educated beforehand. Absolutely, because even in marriage counseling like that,

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Speaker 1: they don't really talk that much about. No, especially if

415
00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,800
Speaker 1: you have like premarital counseling within a church, they don't

416
00:20:53,800 --> 00:20:57,720
Speaker 1: speak about speak about it. Be spoken about the expectations

417
00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:00,359
Speaker 1: would help people deal with that, right at least know

418
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 1: what they're getting into. Well after the show, this is

419
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: the after party. Let's talk about some four. So again,

420
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 1: it's different for men and women. Like I just said

421
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Speaker 1: just now, sometimes you gotta massage me, you got to

422
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Speaker 1: get the engine running. And I think for me too

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Speaker 1: sometimes the lack of sex drive that I have in

424
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Speaker 1: that moment, it can change if you just took the

425
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 1: time too. But then you also said that sometimes you

426
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 1: don't want to be touched, so you can't just say

427
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,919
Speaker 1: I gotta take the time. But then sometimes when I

428
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:29,880
Speaker 1: get to your nips, you'd be like, I don't feel

429
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:32,159
Speaker 1: like nobody touching my nipples. Well that was that. That

430
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,240
Speaker 1: was in the context of just having a baby. Because

431
00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 1: every when you have somebody in your body for nine

432
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: to ten months and then the baby comes three weeks ago,

433
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,240
Speaker 1: it was three weeks ago. You're having breast fed for

434
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,800
Speaker 1: over a year. Like, you gotta be honest, you gotta

435
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:49,440
Speaker 1: bead maybe sensitive a little bit sometimes. Yeah, but that's

436
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,480
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like you can't like as a man,

437
00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,160
Speaker 1: like no, like, listen, yo, yo, this is dead as

438
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 1: truth as a man. We want to hear that ship

439
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:59,160
Speaker 1: man Like, so four play can't be a discussion about

440
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 1: four play for but it's has to happen. It can't

441
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 1: be a discussion about four play Like you can't tell

442
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 1: me I need four play and then when I go

443
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 1: to do four play but not there today because I

444
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,879
Speaker 1: might in the mood. It's like bro, bro, like yo,

445
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,880
Speaker 1: like you you're turning this into Twister, not not Red

446
00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,680
Speaker 1: red six, not Red six Green five. It's like what

447
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 1: the you know I know before. Play doesn't have to

448
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:21,879
Speaker 1: necessarily mean you're touching me. It can be like getting

449
00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:25,200
Speaker 1: dressed up, getting dressed up, going out for a nice night,

450
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 1: being romantic and closed. You know, so you don't want

451
00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,359
Speaker 1: me to you don't want me to touch you for

452
00:22:30,440 --> 00:22:33,360
Speaker 1: four play. I'm saying we can get to that far,

453
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 1: but I'm just saying sometimes you want to. There has

454
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,600
Speaker 1: to be an experience around it, and it doesn't have

455
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:40,800
Speaker 1: to be every single time, but you know what I mean,

456
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,800
Speaker 1: Like on certain occasions, it would be nice to have

457
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,520
Speaker 1: something unfolded. Like we go out for dinner, we have

458
00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: a couple of drinks that loosens me up a bit.

459
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,800
Speaker 1: Then we get home. Glad you brought that. Hello massage,

460
00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:54,240
Speaker 1: thought you brought that up. Because we go out to eat,

461
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:59,400
Speaker 1: get something to drink, and you fall asleep in the cab. Okay, Like,

462
00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:03,360
Speaker 1: gentlemen this and I hope the gentleman this is what

463
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:06,160
Speaker 1: married sex is. Like your wife is going to give

464
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,920
Speaker 1: you a ship things to do right, and you're gonna

465
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,320
Speaker 1: try to do these things and every time you do it,

466
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,400
Speaker 1: and when you don't have sex, you're gonna be pissed.

467
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,800
Speaker 1: And then she's gonna give you another list of things

468
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,919
Speaker 1: to do, and you're gonna be pissed. And what you're

469
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:21,239
Speaker 1: gonna happen, and what's gonna happen is you're gonna end

470
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: up just rolling her booty over and just taking it

471
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: whenever she says you can take it because you're tired

472
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: of doing a ship ton of things and you're tired

473
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: of having these discussions married sex. Stop. First of all,

474
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 1: I'm first of all, come on, you're mad because you

475
00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 1: just made me lose my train of I had a

476
00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,919
Speaker 1: very good point and you just made me lose my

477
00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,600
Speaker 1: train of thought with your whole spield just now. The

478
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 1: thing is, I know my limits. For example, when I

479
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,680
Speaker 1: go out, we have a couple of drinks to two

480
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,280
Speaker 1: and a half ish and I'm good to go. This

481
00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 1: dude want to be like, here, baby, take a shot

482
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,320
Speaker 1: with me. Here, take one more drink because you like,

483
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,919
Speaker 1: I'm a little like you know you're you're you're allowed.

484
00:23:59,320 --> 00:24:02,800
Speaker 1: Freaking is a lot more freaky when you saw Yeah,

485
00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:06,920
Speaker 1: my freak odometer goes up. However, there's a very small

486
00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:10,960
Speaker 1: like part. There's a short time frame between like when

487
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:12,640
Speaker 1: I drink the last drink to when it kicks in

488
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:15,359
Speaker 1: that can either be a good time. I'm going to

489
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,680
Speaker 1: sleep here when I gotta juggle with to have good

490
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,880
Speaker 1: married sex. So what I gotta do is I gotta

491
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,640
Speaker 1: buy my wife a dress, right, I gotta take out

492
00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,119
Speaker 1: to dinner. I gotta make sure she has between two

493
00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,360
Speaker 1: and three drinks about sixteen and a half ounces. Then

494
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 1: I got home. Is less than thirteen minutes, because it

495
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 1: gets to fourteen minutes, I'm she's gonna be sleep So

496
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:36,520
Speaker 1: I gotta do all this. Then when I get in

497
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: the house, I gotta hope her nipples work today because

498
00:24:38,720 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 1: you want me to do four play, But if I

499
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:45,240
Speaker 1: touch her nipples the wrong way, sex is in honesty.

500
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,399
Speaker 1: This is what it's like for me. This is what

501
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:49,960
Speaker 1: we talk about to have to try to have sex

502
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,439
Speaker 1: with my wife. And what women don't understand is is

503
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 1: like y'all making me jump through all these hoops to

504
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 1: have sex with my wife. Well, I could just meet

505
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: a chicken the club of the ball and have that

506
00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:03,399
Speaker 1: that animalistic type of sex, and that is what men want.

507
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: They want that your four play is different from our

508
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:10,080
Speaker 1: four play. Our four players just like random spontaneous. She's

509
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,800
Speaker 1: all over me, I'm all over her. She might have

510
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: scratched me, and I'm like, oh, sh did that hurt?

511
00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:16,600
Speaker 1: But she scratched me? And then you have sex. And

512
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:18,440
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Talking to your single friends a

513
00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:20,760
Speaker 1: little bit too much. I do. I got to because

514
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,720
Speaker 1: if I don't talk to my single friends, whateverse am,

515
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 1: I gonna look at you living vicariously through their story.

516
00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 1: Shout out, thank you for keeping my imagination. If I

517
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: don't have you, I'll be drinking every damn. We need

518
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,040
Speaker 1: to bring balal in for a story time. Tell us

519
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,639
Speaker 1: how it really went now with this single life you do?

520
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: Single life is single life is great, and not for nothing.

521
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm single life is great. Single life is great. And

522
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,240
Speaker 1: then we have single friends who are just like man

523
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: I wish I had with y'all had because married life

524
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 1: is great. I'm not gonna say make it seem like

525
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,919
Speaker 1: married life is great. I'm being fair. You know what

526
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:57,400
Speaker 1: the best part about Mary sex is right, you and

527
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 1: I have been monogamous for a while. I get to

528
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:03,320
Speaker 1: be as nasty as I want to be with you

529
00:26:03,359 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: and not have to worry about anything. Hey, I'm shooting

530
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,480
Speaker 1: the club, but you get pregnant. Oh well, just add

531
00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 1: one more to the party. You know what I'm saying.

532
00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:14,000
Speaker 1: Like now, guys, I am protecting myself just so you know,

533
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 1: because I don't trust you no more um one pump

534
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,880
Speaker 1: too many and that we have three children because the vow.

535
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,840
Speaker 1: I could not rely on the vow. Like I said before,

536
00:26:22,880 --> 00:26:26,040
Speaker 1: you had one job and devout failed at that job.

537
00:26:26,680 --> 00:26:29,960
Speaker 1: That was That was That was the doctor. First of all,

538
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,199
Speaker 1: Listen when the doctor game was it wasn't just a

539
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:35,560
Speaker 1: plow game. When the doctor says, you don't gotta worry

540
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:38,760
Speaker 1: aout getting pregnant because she's breastfeeding. So typically women don't

541
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,959
Speaker 1: ovulate when they breastfeed. Did the doctor not say that?

542
00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,520
Speaker 1: Do we ever do anything typical? Do val? But did

543
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,639
Speaker 1: the doctor? You gotta listen. You have to listen to

544
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:48,720
Speaker 1: your physician. Yeah, all right, you gotta listen. They don't

545
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,239
Speaker 1: all be knowing. I listened. I listened. Well you know what,

546
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,000
Speaker 1: Thank god you did that, because now we have cats.

547
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly, I shout out to cats. He's the baby

548
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: of the family and he will remain the baby of

549
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,720
Speaker 1: the family. But don't try to get me pregnantly. I'll

550
00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,320
Speaker 1: pull up this footis Remember when you said to get

551
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:10,200
Speaker 1: pregnant until we square away to sex. You know what's funny,

552
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:13,840
Speaker 1: I didn't even mention resetting my free clock. That's something

553
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:15,520
Speaker 1: that we spoke about in a video that you did

554
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 1: on Instagram. So let me tell you how this works

555
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 1: for me. I have to reset my wife's freak level. There.

556
00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,479
Speaker 1: You go right by withholding the D right, But that

557
00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 1: doesn't help me because I still be I'd be mad

558
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 1: and I'll be horning. But I know that if I

559
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: reset it, if I just let like a week go by,

560
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,400
Speaker 1: she really can't take a whole week without having none.

561
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 1: So when the week goes by and then she starts

562
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:39,960
Speaker 1: to come on to me and she's like, hey, babe,

563
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: you know what I do, I'd be like, yeah, I'm

564
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:47,359
Speaker 1: going to sleep. Can she be mad? And I just

565
00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,840
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, that's got to fight him for it

566
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:53,199
Speaker 1: and be cute. But that's how it was when we

567
00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:56,679
Speaker 1: were in college, right, And it's more frequent, but like

568
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 1: I said, the quality, the quality at that point I

569
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,760
Speaker 1: probably want to do. That means I gotta have sex

570
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: once every nine days. It's not that's not going to happen. Yo.

571
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something. Let me let me tell

572
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,120
Speaker 1: you something. When you get married, there are a lot

573
00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:15,919
Speaker 1: of outside factors that affect your intimacy. One of the

574
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: things that I've learned with me and my wife is

575
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:20,800
Speaker 1: that when I travel and I don't see her for

576
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,840
Speaker 1: a couple of days, or she travels and she don't

577
00:28:22,880 --> 00:28:25,160
Speaker 1: see me for a couple of days, that's sex when

578
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: you first see each other. Is that And when you're

579
00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:30,800
Speaker 1: not married and you're dating, that's what happens a lot,

580
00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, like or like having a

581
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: long distance relationship, And that's true. And we actually had

582
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,720
Speaker 1: a serious discussion about our sex life recently, and we

583
00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 1: said that maybe we are around each other too much

584
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: because that happens with us working together a lot. I mean,

585
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 1: we're doing a podcast together, we do videos together, we're

586
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: working on getting our shows together. Like so doing everything

587
00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 1: together all the time, we're always in each other's face.

588
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,400
Speaker 1: There's no time to really miss each other, you know.

589
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,280
Speaker 1: So I was traveling to Memphis the other day and

590
00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,760
Speaker 1: I was like, Yo, that's like two or three days

591
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,800
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna see him, you know, with the kids

592
00:28:57,840 --> 00:28:59,640
Speaker 1: mixed in there as well. So I was like, all right,

593
00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:02,880
Speaker 1: and didn't when I saw you. We did we did

594
00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:04,600
Speaker 1: get a pop in. It was great, it was great.

595
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: But then the next day, I want to get a

596
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: popp in and she was like, no, thanks. I was like,

597
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 1: didn't we just do this yesterday? And that's but that's

598
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,160
Speaker 1: and and this is and this is just me being

599
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: open about men when men are juggling different women. That's

600
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: part of the joy of juggling different women is that

601
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,080
Speaker 1: I already know, Okay, I have my my girl that

602
00:29:24,120 --> 00:29:26,840
Speaker 1: I see on Mondays. I don't gotta be on her

603
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: back about having sex again on Tuesday or Wednesday, because

604
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:31,560
Speaker 1: I have another woman that I'm going to either fly

605
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: you know, I'm gonna go see. So you get a

606
00:29:33,680 --> 00:29:36,640
Speaker 1: chance to juggle and then enjoy and then when they

607
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: see you. It's that same type of feeling when you

608
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: go down to being sex having sex with one person.

609
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 1: You don't get an opportunity on Tuesday and Monday to

610
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,200
Speaker 1: have sex. Monday girl must be nice, Monday girl, listen,

611
00:29:47,360 --> 00:29:49,440
Speaker 1: But how you know Monday girl and getting something on

612
00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 1: Thursday from somebody else with the risk because because when

613
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 1: you're not in a relationship with that person, you're not

614
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,520
Speaker 1: worried about it. And that's stuff, and that's what I'm saying,

615
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,280
Speaker 1: there's a there's a balance and everything, But what I'm

616
00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 1: saying is if you protect yourself and you live that

617
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:08,360
Speaker 1: type of life, that's what the struggle is for gods

618
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,840
Speaker 1: who go from that type of lifestyle to married sex,

619
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: because once you have sex with your wife on that Monday,

620
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:16,640
Speaker 1: you're not going to get that same type of sex Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.

621
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: So it's kind of like, Wow, no one explained to

622
00:30:18,840 --> 00:30:21,000
Speaker 1: me that this is what it's like, and vice versa

623
00:30:21,120 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 1: for a woman who wants more from her man and

624
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: she's not getting it. You know, let's just be very

625
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,920
Speaker 1: clear that this is not just always a man woman

626
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: thinking the man once all the time and the woman doesn't.

627
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:32,240
Speaker 1: But don't don't give me the exception and make that

628
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 1: the rule. You can't give me the exception. Most of

629
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: the exception a couple of women in my damn the

630
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:41,120
Speaker 1: majority of the majority of marital issues that we spoke

631
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: to all of our friends, it's always the men who

632
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,120
Speaker 1: want to have sex and the women. So you can't

633
00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: give me the exception to tell me that's a rule, Like,

634
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that. I'm just saying to

635
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,600
Speaker 1: the person who feel that they don't get enough. You

636
00:30:52,640 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: know what I mean. You can apply they can apply

637
00:30:54,680 --> 00:30:56,480
Speaker 1: it today life. Yeah, well maybe in your next life

638
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,120
Speaker 1: you can juggle some women, but not in this one.

639
00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: You see what I'm saying. Just now, only not only

640
00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:02,360
Speaker 1: do I gotta jump through all these who's to do?

641
00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:05,880
Speaker 1: Four play? I can't even have hypothetical. I can't even

642
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: think about it. Sure I can't, Jesus jesus. Yeah, so

643
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,440
Speaker 1: the after party was popping. Yeah, so let's talk about

644
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,479
Speaker 1: the hotel, keeping the spicy in the bedroom, making your

645
00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 1: partner feel sexy on that, you know that touched on that.

646
00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 1: That's the that's the four play part of it, which

647
00:31:28,440 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 1: is so funny. I wish I could see the shirt

648
00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:33,080
Speaker 1: that Devot has on today here in studio. Every inch

649
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:37,520
Speaker 1: counts on purpose, don't it? Did you purposely do that?

650
00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, he would right, Well, every inch does count,

651
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: I will say, I will say every centimeter, ever centimeter

652
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: does it? Really? Yeah? Absolutely? Do women do? Women? Because

653
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,360
Speaker 1: we have we talk about the sizes, you know, when

654
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:57,480
Speaker 1: the guys were the gray sweatpants and you see the

655
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 1: dick print and like that's a thing. It's like a sport.

656
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: Like we watched for things like that. So here's my

657
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 1: thing though, why why is it a sport? And why

658
00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:06,120
Speaker 1: do women like look at all that if they don't

659
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 1: like to have sex that much? I mean, I'm not

660
00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: just talking about married women. It's just in general. I

661
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 1: have my you know, have my group chats with my girls, singles,

662
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 1: some aren't summer, you know, in between. Um. Yeah, and

663
00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:18,160
Speaker 1: that's just a thing that we talked about in general

664
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:20,959
Speaker 1: as a woman. You know, it's like it's like bird watching.

665
00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:25,719
Speaker 1: It's like bird watching watching Jesus Christ, it is, you know,

666
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: but just they're just like, yeah, okay, So you know

667
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,840
Speaker 1: what's funny is you know, I mean, y'all objectify men

668
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,280
Speaker 1: the same way we objectify web We definitely do. You

669
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 1: just have a problem with us objectifying y'all. I don't

670
00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 1: have a problem with anything, actually, because I see your

671
00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 1: group chats. I see how y'all get down, and I

672
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:43,560
Speaker 1: know she's huge. I don't care, I don't fat. Yeah,

673
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:46,680
Speaker 1: I appreciate a beautiful woman, I can exactly so. But

674
00:32:46,720 --> 00:32:48,640
Speaker 1: the same way your group chats with like women in

675
00:32:48,680 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: these bodies and stuff, we look for dick prince. Okay, yeah,

676
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,400
Speaker 1: it's about to be great. Sweatpants season two. Actually that

677
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 1: can go year round, Like as far as I'm concerned.

678
00:32:57,640 --> 00:33:00,200
Speaker 1: As far as I'm concerned, were your great sweatpants old?

679
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 1: That's all because this and this and we're seeing what

680
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:07,240
Speaker 1: you're getting before you actually like to drive it. It's

681
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:09,240
Speaker 1: like going to the showroom. You can see what's out

682
00:33:09,240 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: there and then you can decide if you want to

683
00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 1: So funny, I'm gonna be honest at least that's what's

684
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 1: my single friends say. I'm gonna be so honest. It's

685
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: so hard for me to hear you get so excited

686
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: talking about dick prince and then when the time to

687
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: have sex, not being a move for sex that should

688
00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,560
Speaker 1: be annoying to married men because I'm just looking at

689
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:32,080
Speaker 1: it like sometimes I don't want to be penetrated. Honestly,

690
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 1: it's just so hard for married men to the deal

691
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 1: with that, like to hear it's like women will be

692
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 1: and you be in the living room and a guy

693
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:42,600
Speaker 1: will come on the screen and women like yes, yes,

694
00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,560
Speaker 1: and I'm like yes, like I'm not a move. It's

695
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: like saying yes, then no, now we cause see it.

696
00:33:50,840 --> 00:33:53,560
Speaker 1: You know, I can appreciate a beautiful man, a beautiful woman.

697
00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:55,480
Speaker 1: You know, beautiful dick print. I can appreciate all. That

698
00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that I want to act on it in

699
00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: that moment in time, you know what I mean, it's

700
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,719
Speaker 1: just what this so? But you? I mean, the thing

701
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:04,520
Speaker 1: is you do you make me feel sexy? You do,

702
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: which is great, but just make me feel sexy and

703
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,600
Speaker 1: then keep it pushing son, that's yo. I hope you'll

704
00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: listen to this. I hope I hope y'all listening to

705
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:15,359
Speaker 1: this because people ask all the time, like y'all make

706
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:18,320
Speaker 1: everything looks so perfect, and you know, like y'all just

707
00:34:18,320 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: seem like everything don't be perfect. Everything perfect. I'll never

708
00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 1: profess for anything to be perfect over here, because we're not. Um.

709
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,040
Speaker 1: Here's here's another funny story. What's not really a story.

710
00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,840
Speaker 1: But I asked for Codeine to dress up all the time,

711
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:34,239
Speaker 1: and she gives me eight thousand excuses as to why

712
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:36,960
Speaker 1: she can't dress up. And then now, now here's the

713
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,200
Speaker 1: funny part, guys, because and I'm gonna talk from a

714
00:34:39,200 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 1: man's perspective, right, she was just like, you know, let's talk,

715
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,400
Speaker 1: let's have an open discussion, let's communicate, So you communicate

716
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 1: the things you want and your wife is not going

717
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: to give you the things that you want. She's not

718
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: What is the man supposed to do? Then? So, in

719
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: this particular discussion that we've had about the dressing up thing,

720
00:34:57,360 --> 00:35:00,200
Speaker 1: it's been a recurring problem for us. So it's at

721
00:35:00,239 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 1: the point now where I feel like, if I do

722
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:03,560
Speaker 1: dress up, all the viol thinks about it is the

723
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 1: only reason why she's dressing up is because I said

724
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:08,200
Speaker 1: she should dress up. And then it loses its authenticity

725
00:35:08,320 --> 00:35:11,080
Speaker 1: and the organic spontaneity of the moment, and you feel

726
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:13,280
Speaker 1: like the only reason why she's dressing up is because

727
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 1: I said X y Z about it, true or false?

728
00:35:17,360 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 1: Because I've asked you to do it for years and

729
00:35:19,239 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: you didn't do it for years. I know, I don't

730
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: blame me for respond to it when you've took so

731
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,880
Speaker 1: long to do it and you didn't do it. My

732
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: point is this, right, women sex drives lower than men,

733
00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:32,359
Speaker 1: and since it's lower, my wife gives me a bunch

734
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: of excuses is to why she can't do certain things.

735
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: I continue to ask, and she gave miss uses, excuses, excuses.

736
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 1: What you, as a woman, tell me what a man

737
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:44,280
Speaker 1: is supposed to do? What? What would have what would

738
00:35:44,280 --> 00:35:47,240
Speaker 1: you do if the shoe was on the other foot

739
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: gets you a side chick? What you see? You see?

740
00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:59,319
Speaker 1: I tell said, right, Okay, guys, so we're gonna take

741
00:35:59,320 --> 00:36:01,399
Speaker 1: a quick break and get into some ads, but we'll

742
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 1: be right back with these listener letters. This for the record, there,

743
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:19,640
Speaker 1: it is a win for the ages. Tiger Woods is

744
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: one of our most inspiring sports icons. In his story,

745
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:27,880
Speaker 1: it comes with many chapters. I am deeply sorry for

746
00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 1: my irresponsible and selfish behavior, but here it is the

747
00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: return to glory. This is All American, a new series

748
00:36:41,000 --> 00:36:44,839
Speaker 1: from Stitcher hosted by me Jordan Bell. You realize Tiger

749
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: Woods doesn't know who he is best in the history

750
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:52,240
Speaker 1: of Gaul, no question in my mind. And this season,

751
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:56,480
Speaker 1: with the help of journalist Albert Chen, we're asking what

752
00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: if the story of Tiger Woods that the media has

753
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:05,800
Speaker 1: been what if it's been completely wrong? All American Tiger

754
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 1: is out now listen and Stitcher, Apple Podcasts or your

755
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 1: favorite podcast app. All right, so you know we love

756
00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 1: to hear from you all out there and our listener

757
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 1: letters segment, So I value want to go ahead and

758
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:22,600
Speaker 1: read that, what would you tell your son's mommy? I

759
00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,000
Speaker 1: really really like her you know, we've been married for

760
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:28,040
Speaker 1: a long time, but I'm just not happy with this

761
00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:30,759
Speaker 1: aspect of our relationship because she doesn't try for me.

762
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,640
Speaker 1: I would always be rooting for their success as a

763
00:37:32,680 --> 00:37:34,640
Speaker 1: married couple because I feel like they would have the

764
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,400
Speaker 1: example in us. So I would also talk to him about,

765
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,760
Speaker 1: you know, the open communication, the dialogue and stuff. Sometimes

766
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: people don't feel comfortable even divulging that that to each

767
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:45,440
Speaker 1: other as a married couple. So the communication factor is

768
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:46,680
Speaker 1: a big thing, and I you would want her to

769
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:48,160
Speaker 1: have to try for you the same way he should

770
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,680
Speaker 1: try for her. I get it, But also to don't

771
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:52,640
Speaker 1: put things in a box of how things should be

772
00:37:52,719 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: necessarily in your mind. Be receptive to what your partner

773
00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 1: is doing. It may not be the exact thing that

774
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: you want, but the effort is usually what counts the effort.

775
00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:02,440
Speaker 1: This would come the effort, so it may not be

776
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:05,200
Speaker 1: exactly you know, cookie cutter, you know you wanted me

777
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,280
Speaker 1: to dress up as a cheerleader and swing from the chandelier.

778
00:38:07,360 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: That's what I want. She might swing from the ceiling fan,

779
00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean that. What if ain't swinging at

780
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 1: all over? What if she still got sweatpants on and

781
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:17,680
Speaker 1: the wig that she had on with the hat from earlier.

782
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,319
Speaker 1: But you like that though I thought you thought it

783
00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,080
Speaker 1: was cute. I wanted the cheerleader, wanted the cheer leader.

784
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,400
Speaker 1: It's just you know, it's funny, you know what It

785
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 1: comes back to, though, realistically, it really does come back

786
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:31,440
Speaker 1: to expectations. It really does, because if you were if

787
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: if you were told early on and I was told

788
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,240
Speaker 1: early on what this was like, we would be able

789
00:38:37,280 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 1: to prepare going into the relationship and make a decision

790
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,400
Speaker 1: prior to thinking that it was another way, Because I

791
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,480
Speaker 1: honestly and this is not fair to you, and it's

792
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 1: not fair to women. As a man, you don't know

793
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:51,480
Speaker 1: about women's sex drives. You don't know about all of that.

794
00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 1: You meet a woman y'all just met, you're having sex

795
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,239
Speaker 1: all the time to three times a day because y'all

796
00:38:56,440 --> 00:38:59,040
Speaker 1: just met, and then you're thinking ship when we get married,

797
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,000
Speaker 1: this is going to be my life. Absolutely, I never

798
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,560
Speaker 1: foresaw that that we would eventually have problems with sex.

799
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 1: Like I said that all the time, I was like,

800
00:39:05,239 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 1: I can't believe everything that we argue and debate about

801
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,759
Speaker 1: sex is always at the top of the list, Like

802
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: why we have so many other things going on, so

803
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:14,880
Speaker 1: much going for ourselves individually and collectively as a family.

804
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 1: Why are we always talking about sex? Always tends to

805
00:39:18,400 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 1: happen that way. So one thing I do, one thing

806
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: I do do not do do. One thing I do

807
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:26,440
Speaker 1: do is um when it comes to K I tried,

808
00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:31,560
Speaker 1: especially with keeping keeping the spice, I try to empower

809
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: your sexy by letting you know that I'm always attracted

810
00:39:35,120 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 1: to you. You do you know? Like sometimes you know

811
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:39,640
Speaker 1: what I do, gentlemen, is my wife walked by and

812
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:41,759
Speaker 1: I probably see it all the time. I'm always touching her,

813
00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 1: but I'm always smacking her, But I'm always telling her

814
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: to drop it, because I think it's important for a

815
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 1: woman to know that she's sexy, to have her do

816
00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: those things that you want her to do. You know

817
00:39:51,719 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. You can't have the battle because if

818
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,280
Speaker 1: you're not sexy after having kids to get back yourself,

819
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: you know, and you can't just be on her. The

820
00:39:58,120 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: only reason why we're talking about it so much now

821
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 1: is be as the podcast. But you can't be on

822
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:04,520
Speaker 1: her so much about what you're not getting and not

823
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,919
Speaker 1: empowering her sexy. So I spend a lot more time

824
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,200
Speaker 1: talking about how beautiful she is and how much I'm

825
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: still into her, just so that she can feel like

826
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: sexiness and herself. When you know, I think and I

827
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,320
Speaker 1: feel bad sometimes because I'm like, I know, my husband

828
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: just really wants to be with me in this snowman

829
00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:24,920
Speaker 1: dam how to meet him there, and I'll be honest.

830
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 1: I'll be honest. As much as women look at Dick Prince,

831
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: Me and my friends we do put a lot is

832
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,479
Speaker 1: a lot of I G. Models in our group chat,

833
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:37,040
Speaker 1: but my married friends, all of us love having sex

834
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:39,799
Speaker 1: with our wives, you know what I'm saying, Like, we

835
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:42,439
Speaker 1: we look at women and it's funny. We talk about

836
00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 1: different body parts. We you know, some of it is

837
00:40:44,440 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 1: jokes and stuff like that. And we do have some

838
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:50,319
Speaker 1: single friends in the group chat, But for the most part,

839
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,720
Speaker 1: all of my married friends love having sex with their wives,

840
00:40:53,719 --> 00:40:55,880
Speaker 1: like I love having sex with my wife, you know

841
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Like I can look at beautiful women

842
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: all day and go home and feel not not content.

843
00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: I feel great when I have sex with my wife,

844
00:41:05,360 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: And I think that's important about married sex. You know,

845
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: you have to be married to someone who when you

846
00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: lay down with them to to do that. Do you

847
00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 1: feel like, damn, I'm doing it with someone who right,

848
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,160
Speaker 1: Who's someone who I wanted to be with the beginning,

849
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 1: from the beginning, And that's important absolutely. And on the

850
00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: other side of things, I speak to a lot of

851
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,360
Speaker 1: women who are married as well, you know, friends and stuff,

852
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 1: that feel badly that they can't match their husband's sex drive.

853
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:30,640
Speaker 1: And it's a it's like a well what do you

854
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:33,440
Speaker 1: do about? What do you talk about his married? As

855
00:41:33,480 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: married women, it's just like, damn, you want to have

856
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,560
Speaker 1: sex again. Like just recently, we were visiting with some

857
00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: friends down to d C. And you know, one of

858
00:41:39,600 --> 00:41:41,879
Speaker 1: my friends down there was just like, girl, like, I'll

859
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:43,399
Speaker 1: be trying to keep up with him. I feel bad,

860
00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:45,959
Speaker 1: but I'd be tired. Like we understand too as women

861
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:48,840
Speaker 1: to struggle with trying to you know, juggle getting the

862
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:52,040
Speaker 1: drive back if any after the baby, dealing with sometimes

863
00:41:52,080 --> 00:41:54,359
Speaker 1: can't not even being able to hold your bladder, Like

864
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:56,400
Speaker 1: that's just not sexy, you know what I mean, Like

865
00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 1: little things that the body is doing now that they

866
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,520
Speaker 1: didn't do before. And naturally we're all getting older in it,

867
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:03,440
Speaker 1: but I think we all do feel a sense of

868
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 1: guilt that we can't keep up with our husband. And

869
00:42:06,680 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 1: then I do have one friend who feels like she's

870
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: not getting it enough from her husband. So when you

871
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 1: talked about it being an anomaly, it's not necessarily an

872
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: anomaly because there are legitimately women's still an anomally though

873
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,719
Speaker 1: it is just a percentage, like it's not right. Well,

874
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,920
Speaker 1: I guess because I know somebody first hand that has

875
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,600
Speaker 1: that issue too. So she's trying to find ways to

876
00:42:27,800 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 1: entice her husband. And I had to say to her too, honestly,

877
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: like girl, when's the last time you got yourself together?

878
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:40,280
Speaker 1: You know I honestly, like group of women married friends

879
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,600
Speaker 1: sit down and say, yo, girl, when's the last time

880
00:42:42,640 --> 00:42:45,520
Speaker 1: you Because we do that as husbands, Like we've sit

881
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:47,480
Speaker 1: in our group chat and we'll complain about our wives

882
00:42:47,840 --> 00:42:51,160
Speaker 1: and will like will hold each other to the fire,

883
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:56,720
Speaker 1: and like even like will say is my dog? He'll

884
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,239
Speaker 1: say to me like, yo, but when's the last time

885
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:00,160
Speaker 1: you took on a vacation? Like when's the last time

886
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 1: that you've done X y Z? But I know, I

887
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,040
Speaker 1: know I loved your brother because I loved your brother.

888
00:43:05,800 --> 00:43:08,560
Speaker 1: When you get lost in your marriage and everything is

889
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,920
Speaker 1: going on, you sometimes as a man forget to do

890
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,040
Speaker 1: those things that you were doing when you are according

891
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:15,439
Speaker 1: your wife, you know what I'm saying. So we hold

892
00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 1: each other with accountable and I feel the same way

893
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: about We definitely do. We definitely do. And I say

894
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,080
Speaker 1: to my female friend whose husband seems to not have

895
00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: a drive like that, you know, what are you doing

896
00:43:26,320 --> 00:43:27,880
Speaker 1: to entice that? You know what I mean, because I

897
00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 1: know she too had had some children as well, and

898
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,040
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes when I even see her just in passing,

899
00:43:33,040 --> 00:43:34,799
Speaker 1: I'm my girl, you got to take some time in

900
00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,399
Speaker 1: self care, you know, get back to feeling like yourself again,

901
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,879
Speaker 1: because that too can probably affect the way he looks

902
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 1: at you. And I don't think it's the thing being

903
00:43:41,480 --> 00:43:43,279
Speaker 1: shallow where your husband is just like, girl, you know,

904
00:43:43,640 --> 00:43:46,439
Speaker 1: you have to get yourself together. But my mom, even

905
00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:49,600
Speaker 1: my mom, as you know, still she don't tell me,

906
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 1: not about your mom having sex. No, no, I can't

907
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,640
Speaker 1: do that. You know, even my mom has said to me,

908
00:43:54,719 --> 00:43:57,040
Speaker 1: you know, Kadine, make sure you get yourself together after

909
00:43:57,080 --> 00:44:00,359
Speaker 1: these kids and be the woman that your husband level.

910
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:02,839
Speaker 1: And I was like, that was probably the realest thing

911
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: my mother ever said to me. And she said it

912
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 1: to me out of just sheer wanting to see my

913
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 1: marriage succeeded that. For whatever reason, she felt they need

914
00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 1: to say that to me. And I don't think it

915
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:12,440
Speaker 1: was shallow, but I think it was like her saying,

916
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,960
Speaker 1: you know, real canine, like make sure you keep yourself

917
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 1: together for yourself and for your husband. And that goes

918
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: both ways, because I don't think we talk about this

919
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,560
Speaker 1: enough as men. We got to do a better job

920
00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: of keeping ourselves in shape, not only just to be

921
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 1: healthy and beare for our families, but yo, you want

922
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:29,640
Speaker 1: your wife to drop it like it's hot, nigga go

923
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:32,200
Speaker 1: to the gym like like we yea, we'll be clowning

924
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 1: on some of my married friends. You know, dudes being

925
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:38,760
Speaker 1: there complaining my wife. She'll be one to have those sex.

926
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 1: It's like, dude, you gained sixty pounds from college. You

927
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 1: was a savage ripped athlete in college, and now you

928
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 1: don't work out no more. Like that's not fair to her.

929
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 1: That's not fair to her, you know what I'm saying,

930
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:54,080
Speaker 1: Like that's and and we hold each other accountable. We

931
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:56,440
Speaker 1: we got our running chat where he was like how

932
00:44:56,440 --> 00:44:57,960
Speaker 1: many miles did you put in? How much did you

933
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 1: live because for us, it's also a competition. You know,

934
00:45:01,160 --> 00:45:03,480
Speaker 1: you and your group of friends, y'all, y'all dated men

935
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:06,680
Speaker 1: who were collegiate athletes or professional athlete. The most part

936
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:11,080
Speaker 1: and majority of us are super duper competitive. So when

937
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: we look at the young boys who are out here

938
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 1: on Instagram with no shirts and stuff like that, we're like, Yo,

939
00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 1: that's what our wives are looking at. Bro. You you

940
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 1: want to you know, you want to keep your wife entice,

941
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 1: that's what she's looking at. Bro, Go to the gym.

942
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,880
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You can't just drop out here.

943
00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,920
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, you're here already falling out

944
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,360
Speaker 1: of receiveing. We got to control of things we can control.

945
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying that if you're not gonna

946
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:34,359
Speaker 1: put some color in that and you're not gonna work out,

947
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:35,799
Speaker 1: your wife ain't gonna want to do it like you

948
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:37,760
Speaker 1: used to do when we was in in C Square.

949
00:45:38,200 --> 00:45:40,640
Speaker 1: So that's that's a fair. That's fair for women. You

950
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,200
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying that that's fair because men have

951
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:43,920
Speaker 1: to do a better job and also just being healthy,

952
00:45:43,920 --> 00:45:45,960
Speaker 1: because we gotta do absolutely. Yeah, we're gonna have to

953
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 1: definitely talk about health and fitness to at some point. Well,

954
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,880
Speaker 1: let's see, we have a couple of listener letters here.

955
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:52,440
Speaker 1: I think some of the stuff we touched on a

956
00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 1: bit um. Enough about wives not wanting to give it out,

957
00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,960
Speaker 1: what about husbands belower sex drives. So we touched on that,

958
00:45:58,000 --> 00:45:59,520
Speaker 1: well I did. We did touch on that, and I

959
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: think a lot of that too, is is working out

960
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 1: in performance. There are certain exercises you can do to

961
00:46:03,920 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: boost your testosterone to make sure you still have that.

962
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: If you do dead lifts, if you do squats, if

963
00:46:10,680 --> 00:46:14,440
Speaker 1: you sprint. When you break down those large muscle groups,

964
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:16,840
Speaker 1: your body has to get a jolt of testosterone to

965
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 1: rebuild the protein and rebuild the muscle groups. So what

966
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 1: it's ultimately doing is it's constantly pushing testosterone through your

967
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:26,400
Speaker 1: body to help you regenerate. So getting a lot of

968
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 1: sleep and doing certain workouts and exercise can help you

969
00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,360
Speaker 1: boost your testosterone. A lot of guys ask me devout,

970
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:34,239
Speaker 1: how do you you're stay in such good shape. You

971
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 1: know you probably work out four or five hours a day.

972
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:38,520
Speaker 1: I really don't. I probably get about an hour to

973
00:46:38,560 --> 00:46:40,600
Speaker 1: an hour and a half maybe three or four days

974
00:46:40,600 --> 00:46:42,600
Speaker 1: a week. But when I work out. It's high intensity,

975
00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 1: heavy lifts, and I do a lot of sprinting, a

976
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 1: lot less jogging. But that can help the men who

977
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,839
Speaker 1: feel like their sex drives are lowering. Continue to work

978
00:46:49,840 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: out like you're a pro athlete. To find a way

979
00:46:51,680 --> 00:46:53,239
Speaker 1: to work out like your pro athlete. That will help

980
00:46:53,239 --> 00:46:59,880
Speaker 1: you out. And you gotta get sleep or lower the

981
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: the sets that you do or the you're not going,

982
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:06,480
Speaker 1: You're not gonna love me no more. I need you

983
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 1: to love me. I need you to love me. How

984
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:11,400
Speaker 1: do you keep the spark in your relationship going? Seems

985
00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 1: like you have it all figured out, girl, We don't.

986
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:18,799
Speaker 1: You don't ship together. We don't figured out. We are

987
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:24,040
Speaker 1: trying to. But okay, but but but we are together

988
00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:27,120
Speaker 1: and we are happy, so we can't say that we

989
00:47:27,160 --> 00:47:30,120
Speaker 1: don't have it figured out. We are happy. We struggle

990
00:47:30,719 --> 00:47:33,480
Speaker 1: with certain things in sexually, but we are happy. There's

991
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:36,360
Speaker 1: one way I know to keep things in it's pretty

992
00:47:36,400 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 1: much to keep the spark is that I constantly touch

993
00:47:40,239 --> 00:47:43,359
Speaker 1: on my wife. It don't matter where we are in

994
00:47:43,400 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: between meetings. She's going to know that I'm here and

995
00:47:46,040 --> 00:47:48,840
Speaker 1: she's gonna know what I'm feeling her. She's like, I'm

996
00:47:48,920 --> 00:47:51,240
Speaker 1: always letting her know. And it may be a soft kiss,

997
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: it may be a whisper and air touches. That's a

998
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: very affectionate individual. I'm not as affectionate, don't I think too,

999
00:47:58,480 --> 00:48:00,600
Speaker 1: because that stems from just like much out and growing

1000
00:48:00,719 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 1: up and just not being that affectionate in general with

1001
00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 1: the way my family interacts. Not that we don't show love,

1002
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 1: but we should love different. Um. But yeah, I mean

1003
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,600
Speaker 1: the spark for me is engaging Devo in those moments

1004
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 1: and really stopping and trying to take the time to

1005
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,640
Speaker 1: enjoy those couple of seconds that we have because life

1006
00:48:17,680 --> 00:48:20,520
Speaker 1: is so hectic, you know, so little makeout sessions here

1007
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:22,319
Speaker 1: and there. You know, are trying to get in the

1008
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:24,279
Speaker 1: shower with him every now and again and turn the

1009
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 1: water so it's extra I hate that man, you're trying

1010
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:32,360
Speaker 1: to boil the dirt off the video. That about that too,

1011
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: But um, just just trying to like embrace those small

1012
00:48:34,719 --> 00:48:36,680
Speaker 1: moments sometimes just help to get us through the day.

1013
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 1: That and also I do make it a point to

1014
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 1: know what my wife likes and make sure that I

1015
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:45,879
Speaker 1: do the things that she likes, especially when it comes

1016
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,440
Speaker 1: to close and what I wear. I know that she

1017
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: she's attracted to a certain style. I noticed she likes beards.

1018
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:53,680
Speaker 1: So if I'm not recording or if I'm not feeling

1019
00:48:54,320 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 1: a commercial, I'm just gonna grow my beard out just

1020
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 1: because I know that she likes beards, and this vice

1021
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 1: versa will be going. And she like, what you want

1022
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,560
Speaker 1: to see me in tonight? Right exactly? And yeah, and

1023
00:49:02,560 --> 00:49:04,080
Speaker 1: I'm like, you know all my favorite colors red she

1024
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,320
Speaker 1: got read on. Now she put on a sweat of

1025
00:49:06,400 --> 00:49:08,080
Speaker 1: dress and like, we're going out to night for an event.

1026
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:09,359
Speaker 1: And I was like, all right, I'm definitely gonna get

1027
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:10,920
Speaker 1: a red dress, like because I know what he'd like

1028
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:12,719
Speaker 1: to see me in a nice fitting red dress. So

1029
00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:14,520
Speaker 1: just taking into account those little things that you know

1030
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:16,160
Speaker 1: your partner would like, and I mean, I could get

1031
00:49:16,200 --> 00:49:18,160
Speaker 1: better with that too, and we both can, you know,

1032
00:49:18,200 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 1: we just we just try to be cognizant of the

1033
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 1: fact that you have a life partner that you have

1034
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:25,120
Speaker 1: to spend the rest of your life with. It's important

1035
00:49:25,160 --> 00:49:28,399
Speaker 1: that when you're making decisions somewhere and I'm not even

1036
00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,520
Speaker 1: saying the back of your mind, in the front, the

1037
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:33,239
Speaker 1: forefront of your thoughts should be how is this going

1038
00:49:33,280 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 1: to affect my partner, and for someone like me who

1039
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:39,160
Speaker 1: sex is extremely important to me, I'm always trying to

1040
00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:41,920
Speaker 1: make sure that I'm doing things to help her kind

1041
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:43,680
Speaker 1: of boost her sex drive, kind of get her in

1042
00:49:43,680 --> 00:49:47,040
Speaker 1: the mood. So whether it's you know, you know, keeping

1043
00:49:47,040 --> 00:49:49,640
Speaker 1: my beard or wearing the type of shirt she liked,

1044
00:49:49,719 --> 00:49:51,600
Speaker 1: or for example, she likes when I wear blazers and

1045
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,600
Speaker 1: I go out. I don't always like wearing blazes, but

1046
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put on a blazer and all the time

1047
00:49:56,080 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 1: I love him in a nice little suit and stuff

1048
00:49:57,719 --> 00:49:59,560
Speaker 1: like that, and he just like, nah, I'm gonna wear

1049
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:01,040
Speaker 1: some ripped means and a T shirt. And I'm like,

1050
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 1: all right, well, I guess. And I got to take

1051
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: into account that maybe if I put this blaze on,

1052
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 1: she might drop might I might and a third drinks

1053
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:13,520
Speaker 1: and just be right that we could walk home from

1054
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,399
Speaker 1: wherever we're at Exactly, we're only gonna go about about

1055
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:18,600
Speaker 1: thirteen minutes away from where we're staying tonight. This is

1056
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,440
Speaker 1: where we can get home in time, and if it's twelve,

1057
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 1: that's even better. And our last listener question, do you

1058
00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:28,839
Speaker 1: feel your relationship changes once you get married if you've

1059
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,879
Speaker 1: already lived together? I really think it depends on how

1060
00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,280
Speaker 1: long you've lived together. I mean, I am an advocate.

1061
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,080
Speaker 1: I know people feel their way about it, like not

1062
00:50:36,160 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: shacking up. That was an issue for both of our

1063
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,640
Speaker 1: parents before we got married, the whole living together situation.

1064
00:50:41,200 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 1: I am at an advocate for living with someone before

1065
00:50:43,360 --> 00:50:46,480
Speaker 1: you get married. Yes, just to see what it's like.

1066
00:50:46,560 --> 00:50:48,799
Speaker 1: Because I actually have one of my sister's friends who's younger,

1067
00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: she's twenty five now, who I just saw recently, and

1068
00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:53,319
Speaker 1: she was just like girl, we were doing great long

1069
00:50:53,360 --> 00:50:56,160
Speaker 1: distance wise, and now we're together in the same state,

1070
00:50:56,200 --> 00:50:58,239
Speaker 1: living together, and it's not gonna work. I'm about to

1071
00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: find me another apartment just or at least I have

1072
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,280
Speaker 1: my space. So how would she have known that unless

1073
00:51:03,320 --> 00:51:06,160
Speaker 1: she was together with him living And then when you

1074
00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:07,960
Speaker 1: get married to you throw a whole bunch of other

1075
00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:11,080
Speaker 1: responsibilities into it, like bills and how we're going to

1076
00:51:11,200 --> 00:51:14,640
Speaker 1: divide certain responsibilities along the household. So I'm gonna say

1077
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,040
Speaker 1: I'm an advocate for that. It does change now that

1078
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:19,000
Speaker 1: you think of not that I think about what you said.

1079
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go hell yes, not just I'm gonna say

1080
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,239
Speaker 1: hell yes. You want to know why Her question no, hell,

1081
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:27,279
Speaker 1: yes to do. Things change when you get married on

1082
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:30,359
Speaker 1: both sides because men and women, once you hear that

1083
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:33,120
Speaker 1: title wife or husband, there comes a certain level of

1084
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,120
Speaker 1: obligation that people automatically put with it. You know, or

1085
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:38,759
Speaker 1: you're gonna do that. You're gonna do that? What I

1086
00:51:38,760 --> 00:51:41,520
Speaker 1: can't do that? Now? No, you're my wife, No I'm

1087
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:43,279
Speaker 1: your husband, or you know what I'm saying, or no,

1088
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:45,840
Speaker 1: you're my husband. People do that all the time because

1089
00:51:45,840 --> 00:51:48,359
Speaker 1: there's a certain level of respect that needs to be

1090
00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,839
Speaker 1: garnered once you do get married that if you're just

1091
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,400
Speaker 1: living together, there might be a little bit more leeward

1092
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 1: with you know what I'm saying. So for example, you

1093
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:58,520
Speaker 1: could be living together with someone and you know, we're

1094
00:51:58,560 --> 00:52:00,360
Speaker 1: just trying to figure out and see if it works.

1095
00:52:00,360 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 1: But like you said, we're living together, we're having a

1096
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 1: bad moment. I'm going to go stay with a friend

1097
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:07,680
Speaker 1: of mine while we live together. You know, doing that

1098
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 1: when you're married, Like like I mean, you can do that,

1099
00:52:10,600 --> 00:52:12,239
Speaker 1: but still it's like you're gonna stay with your friend,

1100
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,160
Speaker 1: but you're my wife, you know what I'm saying, Like

1101
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:17,319
Speaker 1: you better bring your ass home. Your my husband. You

1102
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:18,879
Speaker 1: need to bring your ass home. Yeah, this is more

1103
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,120
Speaker 1: at stake, definitely, and I think it does. It does

1104
00:52:21,239 --> 00:52:24,080
Speaker 1: change because of that, and also because of the financial

1105
00:52:24,080 --> 00:52:27,400
Speaker 1: responsibilities and the fact that you put together a contract.

1106
00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:30,040
Speaker 1: Mar Yeah, yeah, so I would go Hell. Yet, when

1107
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:34,480
Speaker 1: you get married, regardless of living situations, it definitely does change.

1108
00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:37,319
Speaker 1: Sure do you just gotta make sure you decide if

1109
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,520
Speaker 1: it's going to change for the better, yes, for the worst,

1110
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:40,879
Speaker 1: and let's hope us for the better because we want

1111
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,120
Speaker 1: everybody to be happy. Yes, we love hearing from you guys.

1112
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:48,920
Speaker 1: So if you ever have a question about love, sex, relationships, health, finances,

1113
00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 1: or anything else you've been itching to ask us about,

1114
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: hit us up at dead ass Advice at gmail dot

1115
00:52:54,160 --> 00:52:57,120
Speaker 1: com and your question with our answer could be read

1116
00:52:57,160 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 1: on the show. So let's just cap us all off

1117
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 1: with the moment of truth. Um. I think my moment

1118
00:53:02,880 --> 00:53:04,840
Speaker 1: of truth right here when it comes to married sex

1119
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:10,040
Speaker 1: is to really try for your partner, whatever that looks

1120
00:53:10,040 --> 00:53:12,359
Speaker 1: like to you within your relationship, whether it's the man

1121
00:53:12,520 --> 00:53:15,000
Speaker 1: who has the lower drive, the woman has the lower drive,

1122
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:18,879
Speaker 1: vice versa. Make sure you were at least trying and

1123
00:53:19,040 --> 00:53:22,160
Speaker 1: trying not in the sense of what you think the

1124
00:53:22,239 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 1: partner wants, but having a discussion about it and saying, baby,

1125
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 1: I need more of this or I need less of this,

1126
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:29,880
Speaker 1: and that's something I need to even teach myself. And

1127
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:32,000
Speaker 1: this moment of truth is kind of like reiterating that

1128
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:34,320
Speaker 1: for me, um, because a lot of times too we

1129
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:35,879
Speaker 1: get caught up in what it is that we want

1130
00:53:35,920 --> 00:53:37,960
Speaker 1: in that moment, and I think we need to just

1131
00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:39,719
Speaker 1: not be as selfish, and we need to make sure

1132
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: that we're taking into account exactly what it is our

1133
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:44,800
Speaker 1: partner needs and trying to me halfway. I mean, compromise

1134
00:53:44,840 --> 00:53:47,920
Speaker 1: sounds cliche and it sounds corny, but that's ultimately what

1135
00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:51,319
Speaker 1: it is. And I think your partner will appreciate the

1136
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:55,440
Speaker 1: effort more than the execution. If that makes sense. No,

1137
00:53:55,560 --> 00:53:58,080
Speaker 1: it does make sense. It makes sense, And my moment

1138
00:53:58,120 --> 00:54:02,279
Speaker 1: of truth is is this. I wish that more men

1139
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:06,880
Speaker 1: would speak to the next generation or younger generation about

1140
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 1: the truth of marriage and sex. I wish my family

1141
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,400
Speaker 1: and my my elders and my family would have spoken

1142
00:54:13,440 --> 00:54:14,880
Speaker 1: to me about it just so that I could have

1143
00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,840
Speaker 1: been more prepared. I also wish that your family and

1144
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,880
Speaker 1: your elders from the women would have prepared you so

1145
00:54:20,960 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 1: you could be more prepared to that we could make

1146
00:54:22,800 --> 00:54:25,759
Speaker 1: an educated decision on what we wanted to do and

1147
00:54:25,800 --> 00:54:28,799
Speaker 1: how to move forward before we had to go through

1148
00:54:28,840 --> 00:54:32,840
Speaker 1: the bumpy trials and tribulations of marriage sex without knowing,

1149
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:35,120
Speaker 1: you know, without knowing. So my moment of truth is

1150
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:38,399
Speaker 1: just I I wish that I would have known more.

1151
00:54:38,760 --> 00:54:40,920
Speaker 1: And my second moment, because there's two moments. My second

1152
00:54:40,920 --> 00:54:44,400
Speaker 1: moment of truth is when you make a decision to

1153
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: be married, understand that sex is going to change throughout time,

1154
00:54:50,520 --> 00:54:53,680
Speaker 1: but you make a decision to stay married for all

1155
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:56,440
Speaker 1: of the other reasons that you're married. You know what

1156
00:54:56,480 --> 00:54:59,319
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like, that's just the truth. That's actually every

1157
00:54:59,400 --> 00:55:03,240
Speaker 1: sex is going to trump every decision. It's very important,

1158
00:55:03,280 --> 00:55:05,560
Speaker 1: it's important to me, but I don't I made a

1159
00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:08,560
Speaker 1: decision to be married for so many other reasons, and

1160
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna work to continue to make my sex life

1161
00:55:11,040 --> 00:55:13,680
Speaker 1: as great as I can within the confines of what

1162
00:55:13,840 --> 00:55:17,040
Speaker 1: my marriage is. And that doesn't mean everything's gonna be perfect.

1163
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean everything's gonna be great. When you see

1164
00:55:19,560 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 1: the videos and you watch this and we're being sexy

1165
00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:23,359
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, I don't want anyone to feel

1166
00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 1: like while they do that all the time. We have

1167
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,040
Speaker 1: our issues with sex. We're constantly working through it and

1168
00:55:29,120 --> 00:55:32,160
Speaker 1: I love being married. I love my wife, and I

1169
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:34,960
Speaker 1: just feel like we're gonna get this done one way

1170
00:55:35,040 --> 00:55:38,840
Speaker 1: or the other. Absolutely, get what done, marriage or sex both,

1171
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:45,880
Speaker 1: We're gonna get dead to be sure to follow us

1172
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:49,520
Speaker 1: on social media. I am devout and that's cadein. I

1173
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:52,280
Speaker 1: am for me kh a d E and I am

1174
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:54,840
Speaker 1: not codeinium, but I mean, hey, I'll take it either way.

1175
00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:58,319
Speaker 1: And if you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate,

1176
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:04,040
Speaker 1: review and some scribe that spread. The Lovely Wane Baby

1177
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 1: Baby Dead Ass is a production of Stitcher. It's produced

1178
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:13,320
Speaker 1: by T Square, Stephanie Karauke and Dinora Opinion. Our executive

1179
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:15,239
Speaker 1: producer is Chris Manning, and we'd like to give a

1180
00:56:15,280 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: special thanks to our recording engineer Jared O'Connell, our sound

1181
00:56:19,160 --> 00:56:30,600
Speaker 1: designer Brendan Burns, and studio manager Ashley Warrens. We'll back.

1182
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:32,680
Speaker 1: I'm Drew McCarry and I'm David Roth. We have a

1183
00:56:32,719 --> 00:56:35,000
Speaker 1: podcast going on right now. It's part of the stitchen Net.

1184
00:56:35,040 --> 00:56:38,320
Speaker 1: We're called Substraction. That's available every we get a podcast

1185
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:42,760
Speaker 1: at Stitcher, Spotify, Apple Go listen right now to the distraction,

1186
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,439
Speaker 1: right now, it's out. Do it. Please,