00:00:08
Speaker 1: And I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your presences, presents, and.

00:00:31
Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me?

00:00:49
Speaker 3: Welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Bridger Wineger. We're in the backyard. Uh, it's just a downpour, an absolute downpour. This is the fourth what is known as an atmospheric river we've probably had in the last three days. And you know, we could be inside, but this is just me. I'm you know, I'm just going to stay here. I'm going to say, Mother Nature, I'm a person, I'm a human. I've got dreams, feelings. Leave me alone. I've had enough. My house just continues to flood. We'll have to We're gonna minimize talk about my home flooding because I can feel listeners leaving as I even bring up the subject. It's been too much. Let's get into the podcast. Today's guest is so wonderful. Haley Joel Osmond. Hello, Welcome to. I said no gifts.

00:01:38
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. It's nice to be here. It's raining, it is raining very hard, and we're just sitting here.

00:01:44
Speaker 3: But you've brought your dog, Dorothy. I have.

00:01:46
Speaker 4: She was a little freaked out by the rein so I was like, all right, I'll take you in the car with me.

00:01:51
Speaker 3: Does she like loud noises that sort of thing freak her out?

00:01:54
Speaker 4: That sort of thing?

00:01:56
Speaker 3: Fireworks is the fourth of July.

00:01:57
Speaker 4: Hell, we haven't gone through that yet. I've only had her for a two months. So we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.

00:02:03
Speaker 3: So she may have some surprises in store.

00:02:05
Speaker 4: I feel like you're in a fireworks neighborhood. There's always a lot of fun, and there was fireworks.

00:02:10
Speaker 3: There's apparently a holiday once a week in my neighborhood. My dog, though, doesn't care.

00:02:16
Speaker 4: We're very lucky.

00:02:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, but who knows what Dorothy will do? Who knows? Is she your first dog?

00:02:22
Speaker 4: She is my first solo dog. We had family dogs growing up, and I've wanted to get one for a while, but it just it wasn't in the cards. And during the pandemic, I tried quite hard to get one, but they were all adopted out from under me, which was good for the dogs. It was like very hard to find a dog. They were at a premium.

00:02:40
Speaker 3: Did you have your eye on any specific sort of dog or was it just whatever comes this size?

00:02:46
Speaker 4: She's like thirteen pounds, and it's like something that needs to be able to be packed up with me if I have to get on a plane, like at a moment's notice, right, because I grew up with big dogs. But like, you can't take them on the plane so easily. Right.

00:03:00
Speaker 3: We took our dog on the plane two times, once to New York and once back. Not terrible, but not the sort of thing you want to do frequently. Taking a dog through the airport of that size is truly hell.

00:03:13
Speaker 4: And putting them under which I don't even know how people do. It's like, you know, they're sending it to die. It's freezing under there. Yah, it's not insulated.

00:03:22
Speaker 3: Apparently it's extremely dangerous. I don't even know why it's allowed.

00:03:24
Speaker 4: At this point.

00:03:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's just like a you're really gambling.

00:03:27
Speaker 4: I don't trust American airlines with me. I don't know why I trust them with my dog. I was on a flight recently where there was a small pony sitting in first class, which was pretty cool. Did you get to pet the pony? I did pet the pony? I got it many times to pet the pony. How big is the pony? Well maybe it was like a mini horse, but it could sit on its haunches and not interfere with the flying of the plane.

00:03:50
Speaker 3: Wait, so it was like sitting on its ass sort of situation.

00:03:54
Speaker 4: Interesting, Yeah, hooves a kimbo sitting on its ass?

00:03:58
Speaker 3: And was it like a emotional support poney?

00:04:02
Speaker 4: That's what they said. But I got the feeling that the person probably would be emotionally fine without the.

00:04:07
Speaker 3: Pony, probably emotionally better. Yeah, that's curious. I wonder why they're trying to transport that pony anywhere.

00:04:14
Speaker 4: Just leave it at home just to breed it probably. Did you meet the owner? Yes?

00:04:19
Speaker 3: And what was there, General Vie.

00:04:21
Speaker 4: It was a woman in her fifties, and she seemed very serene, someone who has transported equine animals by air many times.

00:04:33
Speaker 3: Did the pony have a name.

00:04:35
Speaker 4: I don't remember. She should have written it down. Wow, that's I want to be like I'm running for president. I was like, hell, hello, cheris nice to see it.

00:04:46
Speaker 3: I wonder, I mean, obviously horse tranquilizers are a famous tranquilizer. I wonder if the pony was on.

00:04:52
Speaker 4: Well, they were shipping ivermectin across the country. This was in twenty nineteen, and she knew it was coming exactly.

00:04:59
Speaker 3: Wow, now that we're talking about mini horse and pony, what is the difference is a pony.

00:05:06
Speaker 4: Of It's like mules. It's a big ven diagram, isn't it. It's like mules, donkeys, horses, ponies and many horses, like all intersecting at some ranch, right, and.

00:05:20
Speaker 3: A mule is a donkey horse? Is that correct?

00:05:23
Speaker 4: I think so?

00:05:24
Speaker 3: And then a lie is kind of nodding their head. I'm trying to sound like a horse expert today. And then a mini horse must just be kind of they've bred it into manyness, like.

00:05:36
Speaker 4: The smallest horses kept getting bred down ideal state.

00:05:40
Speaker 3: Yeah. And then a pony is not a baby horse, No, it's its own that a freed I say, yeah, a full and a mayor Philly? Oh what's a philly?

00:05:49
Speaker 4: Philly is a small female horse. Full mule experts are slamming their hands on the dashboard like.

00:05:57
Speaker 3: No, one star review, one star? You interesting? Have you ever been on a horse?

00:06:02
Speaker 4: I have? Yeah? What was that experience?

00:06:04
Speaker 3: Like?

00:06:05
Speaker 4: I did a television movie called Last Stand at Saber River with Tom Selleck. Oh my god, two of the Carridine brothers and Susie Amos who is married to James Cameron in the wilderness of New Mexico in like nineteen ninety five. Wow, a pretty good TV movie too.

00:06:26
Speaker 3: Really, And so you were on a horse as a small kid for a long time and you had to, I imagine, be trained to ride it.

00:06:31
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I think I was riding a pony though, right, what was the training? Like they just kind of throw you on there and you go. Have since ridden a horse in adulthood and it's the same way where they're just like, get on go and you're like, all right, I guess the horse knows.

00:06:47
Speaker 3: It feels like you should have to take like a driving course, you know, like right what you get your license for. Yeah, a horse to me seems almost more dangerous than a car.

00:06:56
Speaker 4: And there's like a rifle in the saddle you can pull it out and shoot it, like you know, need any classes or anything to do it. The thing I love about horses in all times that I've ridden them, is that they know when you're getting to the end of the ride and they're close to the barn and they start to run really fast, which if you're inexperienced with the horses like okay, no, no, no, slow down, slow down. They're like, I gotta get.

00:07:16
Speaker 2: Back to the barn.

00:07:17
Speaker 3: Tom Selik, Yeah, quite a mustache.

00:07:20
Speaker 4: Quite a mustache.

00:07:21
Speaker 3: How was he as a person?

00:07:23
Speaker 4: Was very nice? And we did this one scene where there was like a stampede. It was a crazy movie and we faced like like flooding and a sandstorm, and like half the crew got fired at one point. It was a really chaotic shoot. And oh and I remember one of the producers fired the caterer one day because they didn't have his preferred flavor of bluebell ice cream. And we're in the middle of like the prairie. I think it was pistachio or something. He's like, get out of here. But we shot this like this stampede scene in the middle of the night with all these horses like running through a gorge and me and Tom Selleck and like our family is like migrating across the United States or something. So we're like huddled by this tree and a bunch of ants, like fire ants, like ran up the inside of my shirt and started biting me. So in the middle of the scene, I was like, oh, and Tom Selick thought I'd been a bit by a spider who was like slapping all over me. It's like, I don't think that made it in the movie.

00:08:21
Speaker 3: Was Tom's hero moment?

00:08:22
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:08:23
Speaker 3: Wow, that really feels like you're on the organ trail it was.

00:08:25
Speaker 4: Yeah, well I tried to calk the wagon, but it turns out I needed to ford the river. Wow.

00:08:32
Speaker 3: Was it like one of your first jumps?

00:08:35
Speaker 4: I think so. Yeah, yeah, ninety five, ninety six, Actually it was ninety seven because I remember watching Independence Day in the theaters when it came out in Roswell. Oh, one of these the place you really want to see. Yeah.

00:08:51
Speaker 3: Did the town throw like a special screening or anything they did?

00:08:54
Speaker 4: Yeah? All four people who lived there came out. Yeah.

00:08:57
Speaker 3: I wonder if they do that for every a film that comes out. At this point, it might be wearing thin.

00:09:03
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's been enough of them now, Cowboys and Aliens. They're gonna do it for Oppenheimer. But I'm muted affair.

00:09:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm still trying to wrap my head around like what Oppenheimer is going to be as a film.

00:09:16
Speaker 4: I'm excited and I kind of suspect that Christopher Nolan like maybe set off a nuclear bomb. I would not be surprised. He loves authenticity.

00:09:26
Speaker 3: Half the crew was killed on that because they didn't get him as ice cream flavor, absolutely radiating.

00:09:31
Speaker 4: You don't want to fuck with that guy's ice cream.

00:09:33
Speaker 3: Yeah. Speaking of spiders, have you heard about the brown widow invasion? No?

00:09:39
Speaker 4: Oh, is it here?

00:09:40
Speaker 3: Apparently it's happening and they're killing all the black widows.

00:09:43
Speaker 4: Damn it.

00:09:43
Speaker 3: Apparently brown widows are much more vicious than black widows. I'm learning, of course.

00:09:48
Speaker 4: Yes, like climate chains brings us more ticks, cockroaches, spiders, like all the good stuff. Why can't it bring us more river otters?

00:09:56
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:09:56
Speaker 4: Can you imagine?

00:09:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, something more many horses Tony's Yeah, kind of our puffins.

00:10:02
Speaker 4: Yeah, that feels like fins. Yeah.

00:10:05
Speaker 3: I feel like puffins probably are going to eventually start showing up in the United States, and it's gonna be very worrisome because it's gonna be like you should be on an ice flow somewhere.

00:10:13
Speaker 4: It's like that seen in Children of Men when he's going into to meet his cousin and like you see all the like zebras and things and peacocks. You're like, wow, it's apocalypse. Not great, We're seeing all the animals at once.

00:10:27
Speaker 3: Yeah, that doesn't seem ideal. But yeah, the spiders are coming for the black widows, and I've just recently learned that black widows are not vicious unless you unless you go after them.

00:10:37
Speaker 4: Do you remember a show. I don't know if you grew up around here, but there was a show called Rescue nine one one, Oh, I know the name of the show. Yeah, it was like like medical emergencies and things, but I remember very specifically a reenactment of a black widow crawling up a guy's chest under the covers and biting him like right on the heart. And he still didn't die. So it's like, all right, they're not that dangerous. And was that based on true events? It must have been, or maybe maybe the standards of media truth were not as good back then. That feels.

00:11:07
Speaker 3: I mean, that spider must have really known what it was trying to attempt. That's like a you know, assassin going straight for the heart. I don't know that I believe that entirely, but there was I mean, up until basically this morning that I thought you have to stay away from black widows at all costs.

00:11:24
Speaker 4: That's what the hour glass means. Yeah, that's what the hourglass. It's that frightening to us. Imagine how frightening it is to like a bug. You see that hour class. It's like a serial killer who's also dressed like the Zodiac killer or something.

00:11:38
Speaker 3: I should have looked into what a brown widow looks like. I don't know that they have the hour glass, but we all should educate ourselves, be prepared, and just be ready for the eventual invasion. Have you had a tick? Have you ever had a tick bite?

00:11:53
Speaker 4: Oh? God, no, I hope not.

00:11:55
Speaker 3: Okay, well you may have right now.

00:11:57
Speaker 4: Yeah, had friends that have had it. And then my mom was a sixth grade teacher. She had a student in her class who got bitten by one on vacation in Colorado and she had to like drop out of school. Whoa it really if you don't catch it in time, like, it can really mess with your brain.

00:12:10
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean if you get lime disease. I've had what's known as Rocky Mountain fever from a tick. Yeah, thank god I don't have lime disease. But that was pretty terrible, you know, This is kind of the bug Bite podcast. At this point, we're just trying to educate listeners on all the bugs that can bite you.

00:12:27
Speaker 4: Look, what you should do is whenever you walk into a room, just strip off all your clothes and like shake down your whole body, look in the mirror, check you out.

00:12:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, what have you been up to?

00:12:39
Speaker 4: What's new? What year is it? Twenty twenty three. I just came back from doing an annual tradition that had been suspended since the pandemic where I go with a bunch of my high school friends to Camelback Ranch, Arizona and watch the Dodgers do spring training, which is really fun, just like a relaxing weekend.

00:13:00
Speaker 3: You're just watching baseball games, watching them practice, not even play a baseball game. This is for me, just fundamentals. So you don't really have anything to even cheer for.

00:13:10
Speaker 4: No, well you can cheer, you know. Literally. I did a video of my friend walking by them while they were doing like high knees, like doing the basic like stretching stuff.

00:13:20
Speaker 3: How long are you watching these people practice?

00:13:22
Speaker 4: Well, they do play games, they have stadiums out there, but like we'll go for a weekend. Now there's like you know, wives and children coming. It's it's really uh sprouted into a nice annual affair. Interesting.

00:13:34
Speaker 3: So what is kind of the highlight of watching them practice? Is there like a crown jewel of the event.

00:13:39
Speaker 4: They have these minor league players. So, for example, they have this highly touted prospect named Diego Kartaya, and he's like he's going to come out to the majors and be a big star. So you kind of get to see him like like as close as you and I are right now, Like, hey, I saw that guy when he's practicing. Right. It's a great place for autograph hounds, which we're too cool to do. I didn't have I was wearing a glove, but I didn't have him sign it. Oh wow, so it's just worthless.

00:14:06
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, Diego say it again, Cartaya. Let's all watch out for Diego. Yes, you heard it here first, folks, this is kind of a sports podcast. Do you play baseball?

00:14:18
Speaker 4: I should have In high school, I played golf that was the same season, so it was fun, but I kind of wish i'd played baseball because right, I'll never get my chance.

00:14:27
Speaker 3: All right, And so you're in Arizona for a weekend, just watching baseball? Are you doing anything else?

00:14:32
Speaker 4: We go bulling, we go to top golf, we go to uh there's a place called the Wigwam out there.

00:14:39
Speaker 3: There's like nice pools and everything sounds nice. Yeah, it's a very just relaxing time.

00:14:44
Speaker 4: I also do in my eighties that I'm doing my thirties.

00:14:48
Speaker 3: You do not need to be young to enjoy that. That feels very retirement. It was, Yeah, but why not retire at thirty? Hey, go for it? Was it dry in Arizona or was it cold?

00:15:00
Speaker 1: And went?

00:15:00
Speaker 4: It was? It was in the eighties, which was nice. It seems unthinkable and jarring, you know, considering what we're living through right now. Yeah.

00:15:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, has the rain had any effect on your life outside of just being annoying? It has.

00:15:13
Speaker 4: I don't quite know why so many people in the fifties thought it would be smart to build houses with completely flat roofs, as if it would never rain a lot. So there's been some interesting nights where like I've gone up on the roof and like squeegee puddles off and like unclawed the down spouts, like it's a lot of water that's been coming down. It's terrifying. Yeah.

00:15:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is the first year where I've thought, oh, my death could be from falling off the roof. It's like, now it's now part of possibility in my life.

00:15:46
Speaker 4: That that is something that happens in your thirties when you climb a ladder and you're like, okay, I got to take this seriously, like a fall could be very serious right now.

00:15:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, I never thought it would happen to me, but it's there. It's waiting for me.

00:15:57
Speaker 4: He died drowning on a ladder, wretching tarps all over his roof and screaming at the neighbors.

00:16:04
Speaker 3: Okay, so you're on the roof at night scraping water off. Does the dog like walking in the rain or she.

00:16:11
Speaker 4: Doesn't like it at all? Which I think is funny because normally she can't get enough of going outside. But when I open the door now she doesn't know it's raining yet and she runs out, and then it's like, what the fuck is happening?

00:16:22
Speaker 3: Like, yeah, there's a lot of negotiating. Yeah, a lot of our dog refuses to go out, but it's like, unfortunately, you have to do this. We have no choice. We put on the raincoat, we put on her handkerchief, and.

00:16:34
Speaker 4: She gets the deal a lot of the time where it's like, look, you got to go to the bathroom immediately and we can get this over with. Does she have any rain gear? She does, but she dogs just don't like clammy like just like raincoats stuff.

00:16:48
Speaker 3: Yes, they're like the loud shuffling.

00:16:50
Speaker 4: It just like sits on the ground when I put it on her, like it's like turning the dog off putting it on. She'd look great in boots.

00:16:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, but she seems like an easy dog to wash.

00:17:00
Speaker 4: She is.

00:17:01
Speaker 3: Are you bathing her yourself?

00:17:02
Speaker 4: No, I'm not. Oh I find that out. Yeah, I bring in a contractor to do that.

00:17:08
Speaker 3: I'm so jealous. Our dog can't go to a what do we call them a dog marsh here.

00:17:16
Speaker 4: I literally texted that when they're like your dog's ready, I was like, okay, groomer. Oh damn it, I don't know what I said.

00:17:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, they're groomers. Our dog can't go to one because she has allergies. So I have to wash her myself. She has like skin allergies. Yeah, so we have to put on the medicated shampoo and I'm in the shower with her.

00:17:33
Speaker 4: We can hear sniffing. I hope this isn't Dorothy's getting on the money.

00:17:39
Speaker 3: That's very cute. That's very very cute. And she was just found somewhere around this neighborhood.

00:17:45
Speaker 4: She was running around. My friend Bridy Elliott found her.

00:17:47
Speaker 3: O Bridy Elliott.

00:17:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, and Bridy. She heard Bridie's name. She's freaking out. She and her boyfriend took care of her for a couple of weeks, and they went around the neighborhood and nobody recognized her, and nobody took her off of Instagram. So, wow, I will take you. And she didn't have a chip or anything. No chip. Wow. Yeah, covered in fleas. So she'd been on the street for a while. Oh, I assume. But she's really as opposed to the way she's acting now, she's really well behaved.

00:18:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's very quiet. She's just looking around. She looks gorgeous. Has she gained any weight.

00:18:21
Speaker 4: Hopefully kind of fatten her up for the winter? Right? Right? Does she sleep with you? She does. I said that wasn't gonna happen, and then it immediately happened. Of course, she did it perfectly. She's like, oh, I sleep at the foot of the bed, and she moved a little bit up and now she basically sleeps on my head at night.

00:18:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I don't know how you don't sleep with your dog.

00:18:43
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will do the crate training and like she'll love it. Dogs love the crate.

00:18:48
Speaker 3: And I was like, yeah, the crate training. I think you have to start pretty young. Do you have any idea how old she is?

00:18:55
Speaker 4: The vet said she was probably born last year.

00:18:58
Speaker 3: I wonder how they determined that he was squeezing her nipples when he said it, I do not know how you discovered this. You got to find a new vet.

00:19:07
Speaker 4: She's never been pregnant and she was born last year. I said, thank you. Magicians like astrology or something. Well, she's a what's January? We've decided her birthdays in January? Is that okay? Frickcorn Sagittarius.

00:19:20
Speaker 2: I don't know.

00:19:20
Speaker 4: Yah.

00:19:21
Speaker 3: Oh she's sniffing my ankle. I love her. Oh yes, you can stand here, little circus woman. Well, oh, she's hopping up. She can sit on my lap if she wants. I really don't care. I mean we should get into something else. I need to talk to you about something else. She is fully on my lap now, she's now she belongs to the podcast. Please take a photo of this. I'm so happy to have her in my life. Look, you brought the dog to the podcast, but you brought something else. I'm not I don't know that I'm comfortable even bringing this up now on audio, but we'll do our best. The podcast is called I said no gifts.

00:19:57
Speaker 4: Wait that's what it's called.

00:19:59
Speaker 3: Oh oh, no, Onalise. I'm looking at on Elise. I don't know if there's been a miscommunication.

00:20:05
Speaker 4: You emailed me, come on this podcast.

00:20:09
Speaker 3: Come on Sports and Bugs. Is that what you were inviting him to? Hailey, you show up, it's pouring rain. I'm already in an emotional turmoil, absolute tail spin. I see the dog and then I look up and you're holding a brown bag.

00:20:25
Speaker 4: Now I'm embarrassed. I hope so very least.

00:20:29
Speaker 3: I hope you're embarrassed. I hope you're humiliated. This is clearly a gift for me.

00:20:34
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:20:36
Speaker 3: Should I open it here on the podcast?

00:20:37
Speaker 2: Sure?

00:20:38
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, I'll get into it here. I've got Dorothy on my lap, so I'm gonna remove from the bag or you can just tear right through the kind of the outside I mean Dorothy is even checking it out. I'm gonna reach inside.

00:20:58
Speaker 4: Oh she's checking.

00:21:00
Speaker 3: Okay, there's some sort of glass objects. I'm gonna try to be careful here.

00:21:03
Speaker 4: It's in two pieces. Oh yeah, it does feel.

00:21:04
Speaker 3: Like two pieces, so I'm being very gentle.

00:21:07
Speaker 4: Here we go, there we go.

00:21:08
Speaker 3: Oh what okay, it's a pineapple shaped. It's some sort of ceramic pineapple.

00:21:13
Speaker 4: What are those there sobby pas? There?

00:21:20
Speaker 3: There are maybe nine was sobby piece left in the ceramic pineapple. Obviously you got this at a high end boutique. Right before you got I did, yeah that you kind of tossed in a few of the piece.

00:21:31
Speaker 4: This is Island Park. I mean there's some very swanky stores on Yorks and.

00:21:35
Speaker 3: Everybody's buying this now, the pineapple, ceramic pineapple with kind of used with sabby snacks.

00:21:41
Speaker 4: It's the year of the pineapple. Tell me about why you brought this? Well, it's vintage, okay, beautiful. It's in two parts so it's easy to transport. I like a good pineapple themed house acoutrement, sure sure. And I love withsabips too. I love a wassabi p One. Thing I'll do is that I'll take one wasabip at a time with the si racha square bottle and put a dot of siracha on one withabip. And that's one of my favorite snacks that.

00:22:15
Speaker 3: Seems incredibly labor intensive. It is very labor yeah, but it kind of feels like in my wheelhouse though, where it's like snack, very slow snacking exactly. I love slow snacking where the thing just lasts forever. For like four episodes of Shark Tank doing on American.

00:22:32
Speaker 4: Now, like they come down the aisle even when there's turbulence and they've got the bottle of siracha and they're giving everybody, sir, we can't do drink service, but we are having the wasabi service.

00:22:43
Speaker 3: Where did you get this pineapple? Originally?

00:22:45
Speaker 4: Uh, my friend Alex was giving it away. Okay, I took it.

00:22:51
Speaker 3: This is kind of just being passed. Nobody wants this pineapple. Let's be honest.

00:22:56
Speaker 4: I wanted it actually, you know, my back was against the wall. I was told to go to this podcast and I heard the word gift, and I needed a gift to bring. But she also had this some ceramic like it's like a little tree with a ceramic swing and a little elf sitting in the swing, and I took that too. I don't know what I'm gonna do with that. But what was she giving all these cute things away for? She was having her third child and she was running out of room in the house.

00:23:22
Speaker 3: Right, that makes sense. That makes sense. As a third child myself, I know the pain a parent has they don't want this kid.

00:23:30
Speaker 4: How many ceramic elves? Did your parents give away?

00:23:34
Speaker 3: Rooms and rooms full of the cutest little elves? And they've regretted it ever since. Should I have a pee right now? Would you make a peak?

00:23:42
Speaker 4: They're fresh? Yeah, take a pee so that you know you're not being poisoned.

00:23:47
Speaker 3: Bloss or Dorothy, You're not invited.

00:23:49
Speaker 4: It's the bread and salt from Game of Thrones on at least do you want to peep? Oh?

00:23:55
Speaker 3: Nice an immediate spice. Oh that's so good? Yea with Sabbie For me was it took me a while because it's almost to my tongue a chemical taste. It was for a long time, but now I adore it. I still can't really do horse radish, I.

00:24:11
Speaker 4: Think in most places, and I don't want to besmirch any sushi restaurant in La I feel like most of the time it is just green horse radish.

00:24:20
Speaker 3: Is that true?

00:24:21
Speaker 4: Yeah, because when you get the freshly graded with sabi in certain places, it's like, oh okay, it's not super spicy. It's just like like kind of tangy. Interesting.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: I wonder now, I'm wondering, have I ever had real with sabi? Maybe on these peas?

00:24:35
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:24:36
Speaker 3: Interesting, it's where they dyeing the horse radish.

00:24:38
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:24:39
Speaker 3: That feels like putting saracha on a peek a wast of to putting a hat on a sacha. I wonder what the cost difference could possibly.

00:24:49
Speaker 4: Well, well, you answered your own question with your reaction. I tried to order. I wanted to grow with sabi root in my backyard. Amazon sort of didn't do it. I still haven't figured out how to do.

00:25:03
Speaker 3: But you got it in the mail. It just hasn't worked yet.

00:25:05
Speaker 4: It's like they have it listed, but it's like, we need more information from you, like what growing zone are you in?

00:25:12
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:25:12
Speaker 4: Interesting?

00:25:13
Speaker 3: Yeah, so they're being careful for the first time. Maybe yeah, Amazon's.

00:25:16
Speaker 4: First national treasure. Yeah. Wow.

00:25:20
Speaker 3: I feel like you could grow with sabby here, I think so. I feel like any root thing is pretty easy to get going. I mean spoken as someone who's never grown a root an.

00:25:29
Speaker 4: Incredibly lush backyard. Well, it's been raining for nine months. The birds are singing like it's a really beautiful place.

00:25:36
Speaker 3: I've been trying to grow a few vegetables. I've got some kale. My brother sent some purple peas nice which I successfully grew one batch, and then a non spicy hobin narow pepper.

00:25:49
Speaker 4: Oh so like like the sweet you can make it into.

00:25:52
Speaker 3: Those ones still haven't grown. They may be dead in the soilda whatever you call it. But apparently, yes, there's a website that has a bunch of these kind of weird hybrid vegetables that I'm excited about.

00:26:06
Speaker 4: Interesting, I should have been doing that instead of just stopping at Amazon being like, well they don't have it, so I quit.

00:26:12
Speaker 3: I mean you and basically every other human being on the planet, But you do. You get on these seed websites, and the technology has gotten out of control.

00:26:21
Speaker 4: Have you heard of tomato Mania? No, I'm on board. They might actually be having their pop up right now on Figaroa. I think. So what happens these guys in Ohi and they just have this extraordinary variety of hybrids and different tomato seedlings, and I think that they put on the biggest tomato seedling festival in the United States, And they travel around every March and they're at like fig growers or something on Figaroa. They used to go to Wisconsin gardens and they would bring like a chef who would do like a tomato cooking demo. They make bloody Mary's like it was a great day at the park?

00:27:00
Speaker 3: How many like what was your favorite thing to have there? Did you ever have a great item? Uh?

00:27:05
Speaker 4: Well, During one of the cooking demos, me and my friend were sitting in the back and the chef was passing around this plate of like freshly minced garlic, and like we had already been given something to eat, so it wasn't that weird what we did. So he passed the plate of garlic around me and my friend like licked our finger and like ate the garlic. Look, oh yeah, really good. And he's like it's to smell like oh oh okay, sorry, just going like oh yeah, just garletic.

00:27:33
Speaker 3: I love a good tomato. Hard to find, yeah, hard to get on a regular basis. Yeah, I guess in La a little bit.

00:27:41
Speaker 4: Easier Yeah, but I will.

00:27:43
Speaker 3: Say kind of a sort of annoying behavior that flies under the radar is people who don't like tomatoes who are really vocal about it. Yeah, they are like people who are vocal about cilantro all of these things. But I feel like there's a select few people who don't like tomatoes who are too loud about them. Yeah, it's like, back off, and.

00:28:03
Speaker 4: If you don't like it, it's the easiest thing to just take off, slip it out of this.

00:28:06
Speaker 3: It does absolutely nothing to the rest of the food. Yeah, you know, I like a good tomato. I had one on a breakfast sandwich recently.

00:28:16
Speaker 4: It was a little much like too watery. It was just too thick. Yeah, like a thick tomato is thinly sliced heirloom, Like you get that nice little flavor in there.

00:28:26
Speaker 3: I don't need like a mouthful of it. I just need the hint of tomato.

00:28:30
Speaker 4: I grew a lot of them in my backyard during the pandemic, and then it since started to feel like very wasteful with the amount of water that they need and these small number of tomatoes that you know, fruit in this. Yes, but what I was doing to make the most of the few tomatoes that I grew was just eat them raw, just like sprinkle salt on them. Delicious. And me and a couple of friends went up to the Tomato Mania guy's place in Ohi and they just spread like forty varieties of tomatoes out on this table with just a little bowl of salt. Wow, They're just like slice in and like put salt on. It's like, okay, this is heaven.

00:29:10
Speaker 3: Was there a best tomato you had there?

00:29:12
Speaker 4: There was one that tasted like chocolate.

00:29:15
Speaker 3: Okay, it was like a purple tomato. It tastes good. Yeah, oh yeah, yeah wow. I can't even begin to conceptualize what that would be like a like a dark chocolate, like really right kind of bitter bitter.

00:29:28
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:29:28
Speaker 3: Interesting, I wonder what you would use that in. You're not gonna make a rat yeah, revolting black penny pasta. I mean that's probably coming for us. There's always a new innovation with a tomato. Yeah, okay, so you were making you were growing tomatoes? Were you growing anything else in your backyard?

00:29:49
Speaker 4: I grew have an arrows actually, and I still have them frozen. I have a bunch of them frozen in my freezer and I need to make some hot sauce, but it can sort of turn your kitchen into a chemical weap facility, just dangerous forever.

00:30:01
Speaker 3: Basically, yeah, do you wear contact at least rubber gloves, but like do you, oh, no contact, Well then you're okay at least as far as that goes very safe.

00:30:11
Speaker 4: I put in contact, although I don't need them. Keep the fumes out of my eyes.

00:30:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it feels like you would probably have to lay down plastic or something.

00:30:19
Speaker 4: Yeah.

00:30:19
Speaker 3: Have you ever made hot sauce?

00:30:20
Speaker 4: I was there when my friend made it in his house in Brooklyn, and he and his wife had to kind of vacate the property for an afternoon. It was like mustard gas in there. But the hot sauce is really good.

00:30:31
Speaker 3: I bet are you a big hot sauce eater?

00:30:33
Speaker 4: In general? I am?

00:30:34
Speaker 3: Okay, Do you have a favorite.

00:30:36
Speaker 4: There is a couple who used to run the restaurant a zet Here Spencer and Sabrina, And I'm blanking on their hot sauce company, but they have some really great like homemade hot sauces. This was a zet On Sunset. Yeah, great restaurant.

00:30:51
Speaker 3: I never went, and then it closed down.

00:30:53
Speaker 4: Such a shame, A lot of shame.

00:30:55
Speaker 3: They're the great place, but they have their own hot sauce they do you are these people?

00:30:59
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm to look it up while we're talking.

00:31:01
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know what that's called advertise sauce on this Do you have like a mainstream hot sauce you like so Racha?

00:31:07
Speaker 4: I really kind of escalated from Tabasco in my youth and then right up to through Racha, which goes on everything. Right, every breakfast food needs it. There's a zab sauce that they do at wax Paper.

00:31:22
Speaker 3: I love so good, excellent new It's entered my life in the last year or so.

00:31:27
Speaker 4: Yeah, I adore it. Very versatile.

00:31:29
Speaker 3: Yes, you can put it on any any meal of the day. Great for breakfast. This is kind of a famously anti Tabasco podcast.

00:31:37
Speaker 4: Not a fan. Really, it's just vinegar. What are That's the problem.

00:31:44
Speaker 3: Now we finally do the of the problem. We've uncovered the psychological problem. I have no just it's for me vinegar?

00:31:52
Speaker 4: What are?

00:31:52
Speaker 2: Uh?

00:31:53
Speaker 3: I don't know, maybe if I'm eating crawfish or something. I've never even had crawfish.

00:31:58
Speaker 4: As soon as you said that, I was like, can I get a crawfish bowl tonight. I'm trying to think.

00:32:04
Speaker 3: I feel like there's one in West Hollywood or something that's like maybe near the Crazy rock and Roll Sushi Place.

00:32:11
Speaker 4: Is that what it's called? Yeah, probably Crazy rock and Roll Sushi. That's a mechanical bowl, And I feel.

00:32:19
Speaker 3: I'm picturing there's some sort of crawfish places a crawfish what's a crawdaddy.

00:32:27
Speaker 4: Daddy?

00:32:27
Speaker 3: Did I say crawdaddy or did I say crawdaddy?

00:32:30
Speaker 4: Is that a band? Is that like a ska band?

00:32:31
Speaker 3: Is that a real big fish?

00:32:33
Speaker 4: There's something.

00:32:36
Speaker 3: Scas on its way back. It's absolutely on its way back on. Lisa's got a knowing look on their face. But we don't know what the mystery could possibly be here. Let's see here here comes the mic.

00:32:49
Speaker 4: It just seems as though Crawdaddy's is a restaurant in Gallinburg, Tennessee. So how would I possibly know that?

00:32:59
Speaker 2: Guess is as good as fine?

00:33:00
Speaker 3: That must be another term for something if I just, out of my own brain invented the word crawdaddy, there's something seriously wrong with familiar though.

00:33:11
Speaker 4: Crawdaddy it's a reverse Mandela effecting.

00:33:16
Speaker 3: Wow, that's fascinating. I've got my little pineapple here. Are you a big pineapple eater?

00:33:22
Speaker 4: You know, there's a weird thing that I have where I'm not allergic to apples or pineapples, but when I eat them raw like that, it makes my mouth feel weird.

00:33:31
Speaker 3: Do you get canker saws?

00:33:32
Speaker 4: No, it just makes it feel itchy, a little weird. Yeah, I have really terrible seasonal allergies. I don't know if it's connected to that. Right. That's a big battery of blood tests years ago to figure out why I was sneezing so horribly all the time. And they're like, well, you're allergic to like asperilligus, which is a fungus that grows on all vegetation and in standing water. Wood's easy to avoid. Yeah.

00:33:56
Speaker 3: Wow, So are you ever able to enjoy an apple or a pineapple?

00:34:00
Speaker 2: Uh?

00:34:00
Speaker 4: Yeah? And when you do, like voiceover jobs, they oftentimes have green apples to cut up and eat because it really helps with your like addiction, It like really makes your really your consonant's really crisp.

00:34:12
Speaker 3: Is it just like burning up your saliva or something.

00:34:14
Speaker 4: That burns away all the excess stuff.

00:34:18
Speaker 3: But meanwhile, your mouth is so itchy. Yeah, you got to scratch your mouth.

00:34:22
Speaker 4: Yeah, that doesn't make any sense to me. Well, they give all voice actors peanut butter like the dogs in Homer Bounds. That looks like you're so they can do two things at once.

00:34:32
Speaker 3: That makes perfect sense. It makes absolutely perfect sense. But you can eat a baked apple, yes, hot pineapples, delicious, hot.

00:34:40
Speaker 4: Pineapples, pineapple, and I'm not against it. You were talking about people who are vocally against tomatoes. People get really offended by Hawaiian pizza, which I don't Pizza is fine.

00:34:50
Speaker 3: That's that is an imagined personality trait. Yeah, it tastes delicious. Yeah, at worst it doesn't taste great. Yeah, people freak out.

00:35:00
Speaker 4: That's a bar that I would take in so many situations. At worst, it doesn't taste great. Have you ever been to the chain restaurant Islands. I've been, I've never eaten. I live with some friends and decided I wasn't going to partake. Yeah, because you're like, well, at worst it's not gonna taste good at all.

00:35:19
Speaker 3: What happens that? I like, why do you bring up Islands?

00:35:21
Speaker 4: Because they have something called the Yaki tacos, which is like karaaki chicken with pineapple on them okay, and tomatoes okay in a soft flower tortilla. And it's good. It's not bad. I mean, if my memory of being seven years old serves me, well, were you.

00:35:37
Speaker 3: Tricked into ordering it? Or did you get this on purpose?

00:35:40
Speaker 4: Yeah? The waiters there so fast, I mean, or even though there's like a whole plate of pineapples.

00:35:45
Speaker 3: I'm going to say that that's not a patently bad idea. No, but what I know about islands, I don't know that they would be the first restaurant I would trust to make that dish. Yeah, I don't know that they would be the place that I'd be like, Oh, they're going to have a great tomato.

00:35:59
Speaker 4: I took a fine with pine There's a good like burger chicken sandwich somewhere that has like an entire like disc of pineapple.

00:36:06
Speaker 3: Makes sense, It's just a sweet fruit. Yeah, sweet savory, that makes sense. Teraioki feels like we left it behind it about nineteen ninety eight. Where did teraoki go?

00:36:17
Speaker 4: Where did it go? I really missed teriaki.

00:36:20
Speaker 3: You used to be able to go every mall had terioki, And now to get a decent Taraoki.

00:36:25
Speaker 4: I have no idea where to turn, God I would I couldn't even tell you where to go for tariaki.

00:36:29
Speaker 3: And you're proving my place right.

00:36:31
Speaker 4: Twenty twenty three, The Year of Tariaki. Taraki to Los Angeles is bringing back the yaki to your life.

00:36:37
Speaker 3: I would kill for a good taraoki place. It's just, you know, it's kind of salty sweet. I mean, it's probably deeply unhealthy, but throw that on some the.

00:36:47
Speaker 4: Sugar and the salt all in one. That's really.

00:36:51
Speaker 3: But I think it's maybe I should make some home. What would that be? It's like soy sauce, honey, ginger, ginger.

00:36:57
Speaker 4: That's a lot of ginger, a lot of garlic. I mean, if I can cook with sabby horse reddish, probably some vinegar. Now we're just making Tabasco fish sauce. That's always good.

00:37:09
Speaker 3: Fish sauce is a real good secret ingredientent. People are freaked out by it.

00:37:15
Speaker 4: It smells really bad, but it tastes really good.

00:37:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can put it. I mean, so many things rely on fish sauce. Yeah, so many of our favorite dishes have that in them. Yeah, what is it just an umami or something that it brings.

00:37:26
Speaker 4: To a dish that must be it. Yeah, okay, because it's not.

00:37:28
Speaker 3: Really Once it's in the food, you're not tasting fish. No, as far as I know. But now maybe I'll start looking into it. But yeah, I missed Terioki and I'm trying to school's getting out of school, the school near my house. I do not understand the school schedule there. I feel like they will go weeks and the no one's there. It'll be the middle of the school here, and then suddenly the principal is making an announcement. Maybe there's just a principal trapped there. That's right to send out an principal. School principals there, they give them a whole empty school for years at a time. Learn to be a principal. Your mom's a sixth grade teacher. She is actively.

00:38:10
Speaker 4: Yeah, twenty ninth year. I think, get her terrific.

00:38:16
Speaker 3: Did you teach public?

00:38:17
Speaker 4: Private? Public?

00:38:18
Speaker 3: Oh wonderful, god, bless god, bless you go. Did you ever go visit the class or anything?

00:38:22
Speaker 4: I did? Yeah, And she was actually when I was in sixth grade, she was for a time a substitute teacher for my sixth grade class at a different school. Oh my god. Yeah, was that embarrassing? No, it was cool. She's a cool teacher, Okay, but yeah, yeah, that was.

00:38:39
Speaker 3: Were the other kids aware it was your mom?

00:38:41
Speaker 4: Yes, okay, very aware.

00:38:42
Speaker 3: I mean that's kind of She's kind of got a great position there because the kids can't torture her like they would other substitute teachers. Right, yeah, because other substitute teachers not a not an easy position to be in. Where did you go to elementary school in Utah?

00:38:56
Speaker 4: In Utah, South Jordan, Utah, So you did not get these sex ed day in fifth or sixth grade?

00:39:03
Speaker 3: That you certainly got that, you know, the uncomfortable. I think I got a deodorant I wouldn't use for years, a baseball card that was immediately thrown away, and then just kind of a quiet drive home with.

00:39:15
Speaker 4: Yourberty's coming slugger. We had this day. The girls got it a year before the boys in my elementary school because they start things earlier, and this amazing thing happened where like they had an afternoon where they went off and like got education and we just got to have recess. But as soon as you took the girls away, like our class which had never done this before, Like there was immediately like fistfight, yelling at the substitute teachers like what is gotten into you? Boys? Like what is going on right here? It's like you took away the moderating influence.

00:39:46
Speaker 3: It's incredible. That really is full Lord of the Flies situation.

00:39:49
Speaker 4: Yeah, we had a con she was crazy.

00:39:53
Speaker 3: No they I think in my school they called it maturation day or talk or something thing. And uh, I feel like any kid who had cable already knew everything they were going to tell us. And then there was me just put in of like what was that HBO show like Real Sex?

00:40:14
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:40:14
Speaker 3: I think I was probably the one kid who was like, oh I everyone quiet down, I need to hear this, but walked away probably more confused than I entered. And then uh, yeah, what an interesting thing they do? Why does your parent have to be there?

00:40:28
Speaker 4: Right? Wait? Oh they brought your parents in?

00:40:30
Speaker 3: Your parent did not that kids went with their dad's sons went with their fathers daughter day. It actually, now now that we're really talking about it feels like a terrible idea because if a kid doesn't have both parents, it seems like a sad situation could be happening there.

00:40:48
Speaker 4: Show your cards. As a family, you learn about sex that is not ideal. I'm here to shame the Maturation Day. Any whoever was in charge of that should be really feeling that now. What today is in Los Angeles? Saturation Day?

00:41:04
Speaker 2: Right?

00:41:05
Speaker 3: Am? I?

00:41:05
Speaker 4: Right?

00:41:06
Speaker 3: Okay? Dorothy is loudly booing off Mike.

00:41:15
Speaker 4: Dogo.

00:41:15
Speaker 3: Before this pineapple has had any other snacks other than sabby peas in it, just for.

00:41:22
Speaker 4: A time, a little ceramic elf so I could transport it safely in the car, very cute, very thin. It's missing. I think I broke part of the pineapple height. Is that broken? Or maybe it seems no, that's purposeful? Oh yeah, I don't know what the point is supposed to go in there?

00:41:35
Speaker 3: What does that makes no sense? There's like a little not It's like.

00:41:38
Speaker 4: A food serving tray. It's like you stick a fondue thing in there.

00:41:41
Speaker 3: I guess what, like a stick through there, through the little hole, or maybe a little little bug crawl in. It's like a little house for an ant that would be cute. Maybe a worm. Practically, I don't understand why as a.

00:41:55
Speaker 4: Notch, but the twenty four is selling Marcel to Shell merchandise.

00:42:00
Speaker 3: Worm in a pineapple merch. Oh, it's a Richard Scary pineapple. Richard Scary goes to Hawaii. What are you eating with Sabby Pas? Are you watching TV?

00:42:11
Speaker 4: What are you doing? Yes, watching a baseball game that isn't an official baseball game in the middle of the day on a weekday, just staring off into the distance. I was doing this show in South Africa in October twenty sixteen, great time for America and the Dodgers were in the playoffs. But with the time difference, what I did was I would get home from work at like six pm, immediately go to sleep, and then wake up at two o'clock in the morning and watch the Dodgers in the playoffs from two am to six am, and then go back to work. And that was crazy. That sounds terrible. It was really burning the candle of both ends there. How long did that go?

00:42:58
Speaker 3: For?

00:42:59
Speaker 4: Like two weeks? It feels like i'nhealthy behavior. Yeah, I know, it's very healthy. I was in bed at six six pm.

00:43:06
Speaker 3: How did you will yourself to sleep at six pm?

00:43:08
Speaker 4: That's how invested I was.

00:43:10
Speaker 3: It's like a kindergarteners sleep schedule.

00:43:13
Speaker 4: That's so crazy.

00:43:16
Speaker 3: Wow, are you watching anything else on TV right now, anything that someone who's never hit a baseball could relate to.

00:43:23
Speaker 4: Just watched Last of Us.

00:43:25
Speaker 3: I'm three episodes in need. I have a lot of catching up, but now a lot of weight is crushing me. But it's nice though, because you you still have stuff to watch. Like now we've got like two years probably until there's more comment true, if I watch one a month, season two will be just coming around.

00:43:39
Speaker 4: Make it like a Lord of the Rings release, like watch everything click. Yeah. Yeah, I played that game when it came out, So I've been really enjoying the little references they'll do. Like when Pedro Pascal is like I need this role of duct tape, You're like, yeah, I remember that we were gathering duct tape in that building.

00:44:00
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:44:00
Speaker 3: I played the game too, and I remember that the sound of the duct tape. I feel like every time you picked it up or something, you hear like the duct tape stretching. Yeah, what a satisfying sound.

00:44:09
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, so how you'd make a shive? Right right?

00:44:12
Speaker 3: It's like, now I know I've created something that can kill a mushroom creature. I will say this is my one complaint about the TV show. I get a little bit of a haunted house scared. Acter vibe from the people with the mushroom heads interesting and it makes me not scared. I need to be scared of them. And I just think this is like this person's was ringed about, don't worry, They're not allowed to touch you. I'm a universal horror.

00:44:42
Speaker 4: It's the Boston exactly.

00:44:46
Speaker 3: You've truly ruined the show for me. I'm now.

00:44:52
Speaker 4: No one dies. It's really happy. I mean, they finally get their way to Disney World. I've heard though these like terrifying haunted houses in like San Diego, near like the military base there, because their website is like we've made a soldier cry. Oh no, it's like you sign a waiver and they like kidnap you and put you in a coffin and everything like that doesn't sound fun at all.

00:45:16
Speaker 3: Where are you in life that that's what you need? You're like, I need to feel that nothing. I mean, maybe that's where I am. I'm just talking about how I'm not scared of the mushroom people. I mean, look for me in San Diego. October twenty twenty three. Who's running this? That seems like something that you find on the dark web or something.

00:45:35
Speaker 4: That probably is on that. Yeah.

00:45:38
Speaker 3: Wow, I hope I never get to that point.

00:45:40
Speaker 4: You get Twitter blue, you sign up for an automatic.

00:45:44
Speaker 3: Elon meets you at the door. We're gonna bury you alive.

00:45:47
Speaker 4: That's a very evolved of humor.

00:45:50
Speaker 3: Oh God, push him into a river. Well, I've got my little pineapple. I'll be well, probably one of these peas a day until they're gone, and then I will refill it with my next favorite snack. I don't know what it'll be.

00:46:05
Speaker 4: What is your favorite snack?

00:46:07
Speaker 3: That's a good question. I mean, obviously I talk about cookies and NonStop on this podcast. I love a cookie, but as far as a savory snack, I love a cheese nip. I love a cheese it. I love just like a raw piece of cheese. I love a string cheese, a lot of cheese related items.

00:46:27
Speaker 4: What else do I like a cashew? Do you have any other favorite snacks? All kinds, I guess, But yeah, I saw a kid eating bules in the airport and I was like, wow, it's been a second. Put those on each little fingertip, look like a witch.

00:46:43
Speaker 3: I think that's where the enjoyment of bugles ends. Once you're actually chewing them. You're like, this is It's a styrofoam, disgusting snack. I had so much fun with them on my fingers. I was a witch and now I'm eating kind of a bacteria filled bad snack.

00:46:57
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, I like the snacks of the variety where like the little thing you would strip the plastic off the top and it had a container for liquid cheese crackers and then like a little red applicator. I loved that smear the cheese on the cracker. I love that that sort of snack.

00:47:18
Speaker 3: There is probably an island of those applicators in the Atlantic, But I did love that it was a little it felt like a little art project you were doing.

00:47:26
Speaker 1: You have to.

00:47:26
Speaker 4: Assemble lunchables or you're like, I'm constructing a pizza and no point will just get hot.

00:47:31
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:47:32
Speaker 3: But also every one of those snacks it was. It's actually a bad thing for kids with filthy hands, because they demand that the kid just be touching them and touching them and touching them.

00:47:41
Speaker 4: Black with asphalt dust from Planet Recess exactly.

00:47:46
Speaker 3: And the cheese and whatever those were called was not quite liquid. It wasn't quite solid.

00:47:51
Speaker 4: It was like a polymer.

00:47:52
Speaker 3: It was like a like a kulk or something. You could put that in holes in your wall or something.

00:47:57
Speaker 4: Now, that would be a delicious house to live in.

00:48:00
Speaker 3: Cheese wigwam, that's a cute idea for a mouse, picturing a mouse kind of punching a hole in the wall in anger and then having to patch it up with some cheesebaste. You never know. Yeah, I do anything cheese based. I'm on board with anything salty, I will eat immediately.

00:48:19
Speaker 4: Humboldt fog. Have you had that cheese?

00:48:21
Speaker 2: Oh? No?

00:48:22
Speaker 4: What's this farm shop? Okay, about a forty year drive across town. Yeah, it's really good. Humboldt fog, bolt fog. What is it like? What would you compare it to? It's it's it's really funky cheese.

00:48:40
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm a late in life blue cheese eater. It took me a long time to acquire the taste. But I'm basically on board now. I can eat almost any other cheese, but blue cheese I'm still have. I have to be prepared to eat it. I have to know it's coming to me. But with a you know, with a wall, a pecan or something.

00:48:59
Speaker 4: You don't want to be that flavor profile. Oh that's not something that's exploding in your mouth. The first time I had Uni the sushi dish, it was presented as the dessert, and I thought I was having orange sorbet. Oh boy, it was not orange sorbet. So it took a couple of years to get back on that train, But now I love any It was presented as the dessert. It was in like a little sorbet cup and it's orange, and I'd never seen it before. I was like, oh, I was like sixteen. I was like, oh delicious. I was very surprised with gonads.

00:49:29
Speaker 3: Goodbye, goodbye Uni. Yeah, that's not a great idea. I think we should play a game.

00:49:35
Speaker 4: Let's play a game.

00:49:36
Speaker 3: Let's play a game called Gift or a Curse. I need a number between one and ten from you.

00:49:41
Speaker 4: Seven. Okay.

00:49:42
Speaker 3: I have to do some light calculating in order to get our game pieces. So right now you have the mic. You can recommend, promote, do whatever you want. I'll be right back.

00:49:50
Speaker 4: Alrighty, what's going on right now? I will be in the upcoming film written and directed by Zoe Krevitz called Pussy Island, starring mi Aki and Channing Tatum that should be coming out this summer. What else I'm in something that's secret that I can't say I was in, but I shouted in Toronto last month, and I guess that's all perfect.

00:50:14
Speaker 3: Everybody goes see the secret project that Haley's working on and what was the other thing.

00:50:19
Speaker 4: Called Pussy Island?

00:50:20
Speaker 3: Oh, pussy Island? What is it about?

00:50:22
Speaker 4: Zoe did a really smart thing where she named it that and then did a lot of press when she announced it, going I'm not changing the title. That's the title. So MGM is like, all right, that's gonna be what it's called. Yea.

00:50:35
Speaker 3: She really got them in a corner though, Oh yeah, that's great.

00:50:39
Speaker 4: It's a I can't say what it's about. Oh, I was just about to launch into what's it about? But I can.

00:50:46
Speaker 3: I've got to buy a ticket and go see what that's all about. Yeah, okay, Well, we're gonna play Gift or a Curse. This is how we play. I'm gonna name three things. You're gonna tell me if they are a gift or a curse and why, and then I'll tell you if you're right or wrong, because there are correct answers. This first one is a listener suggestion from somebody named Lauren or Lauren nobody ever knows what that name? Gift or a curse? Cinnamon gum, cinnamon gum.

00:51:12
Speaker 4: I think that's a gift. What is it that brand called Zeit or something like. I remember being really enchanted with the cinnamon gum in high school when you really think there's a chance that someone's going to care that your breath is good, so you're kind of housing that all the time, so you think it's a gift. Yeah, Heyley, you're absolutely correct. I love cinnamon gum. It's great.

00:51:38
Speaker 3: It's I mean, there are some complications. A lot of cinnamon gum is extremely brittle, it's like a dry bone. But the flavor's wonderful, the color's wonderful. Does it freshen our breath? I don't know that it entirely does. It almost makes your mouth hotter, which is not great. But it's more of a treat. A little cinnamon a tree, small.

00:51:57
Speaker 4: Version of the cinnamon challenge. Eating that whole packet.

00:52:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would like to see somebody put a full mouthful of cinnamon gum. What was the brand you were saying, Zeis, But I.

00:52:06
Speaker 4: Think that was the infomercial for the male enhancement thing that they'd play on on the NFL Network crossover product. Well, Dorothy, you love cinnamon, Dorothy freak.

00:52:15
Speaker 3: Dorothy is Yeah, she's so excited about this so Zeit may not be a gum.

00:52:20
Speaker 4: No, it's za is it. I Also, do you remember that rainbow zebra gum that immediately immediately lost the flavor.

00:52:31
Speaker 3: Less than a second of fruit.

00:52:32
Speaker 4: As soon as you and.

00:52:34
Speaker 3: The tattoo lasted even less.

00:52:36
Speaker 4: There was a oh that's right, there was a tattoo.

00:52:38
Speaker 3: And it was like just watercolor that just led on your skin. It was such a bad product. It's Hannah, it goes right in. It was Hannah adjacent. The flavor of fruit stripe was really good for that one second at last.

00:52:52
Speaker 4: It was and yeah, you just like it's the hit. You don't, Yeah, you just keep.

00:52:55
Speaker 3: Six And those packs were so thick that you can kind of squeeze. If only they could have captured that flavor for a longer period of time, we flavor scientists. If you're out there, losers, get on the ball strip please.

00:53:11
Speaker 4: Stripe in Los Angeles.

00:53:13
Speaker 3: Both of those products need to comes back in a big way. Okay, you got one right, excellent job number two. This is from somebody named Rachel, and she has suggested gift her a curse bachelorette party shirts and then in parentheses, wife of the party, gift her a curse.

00:53:29
Speaker 4: The shirt says wife of the party. That is a curse why something has gone wrong at that bachelorette party. And then you're wearing it because it's the last shirt you have. Something happened to the other shirt at the bachelorette party. Yeah, that's that's just I'm getting I'm getting cursed vibes from from seeing that shirt in the airport. Probably just saw it in the Phoenix airport.

00:53:56
Speaker 3: It adds up perfectly. Unfortunately, wrong gift. What do I have to do to get a wife of the party shirt? I think that sounds like a gift to me. I would wear that every day of my life. I would wear that to a baptism. Wife of the party. This sounds like a wonderful time you could go anywhere in that formal casual work.

00:54:18
Speaker 4: All right, I'm gonna wear one now night today. Yeah you should to wear yeah, wife of the party.

00:54:24
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know if there are other types of bachelorette puns that they're putting on shirts. But at least with this example a gift and you don't get the point, that's fine.

00:54:33
Speaker 4: I like the trend now that people are doing co ed bachelor bachelorette parties, Like it's.

00:54:38
Speaker 3: Such a good idea to me.

00:54:40
Speaker 4: I feel like, yeah, because if it's like gender segregated, it's like, well, you're hoping that something horrible happened, Like.

00:54:46
Speaker 3: Bad behavior kind of gets tamped down when everyone has to continue just being a normal person rather than like diving into their worst instincts. Bachelor party culture not for me, why the party teacher?

00:55:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's me.

00:55:02
Speaker 3: That's kind of my core. Okay, you didn't get the point. You failed that one huge, That's okay. Number three from somebody named Kyle Gift or a curse three sixty photo booths. Are you familiar with these?

00:55:15
Speaker 4: Yeah? I like those? Why I may have just why? I think I just did one with the Party Down premiere and didn't they have one? I think they had one. Actually, I feel like they had that camera for the speeches at the Oscars this year, which felt kind of strange, like like they were like there was no camera right in front of the people but you still felt like you were right there and like a like a a head's up display or something like. Yeah, but no, it's fun, you know. It's like the boomerang app. You get to try and do something that looks fun forwards and backwards. Right, yeah, right, So you're saying a gift. I think it's a gift, but I have a feeling that I'm wrong.

00:55:53
Speaker 3: They won out of three Enough enough with these photo step and repeat technologies. I'm so sick of seeing. I can't do it. I'm so uncomfortable with it. We've got and who knows what what's next? If after the three sixty photo booth, what are we going to be doing? I can't even begin to imagine what obnoxious thing boots seven twenty. Now that's an eighty photo booths where you're just sick looking at it. Everybody's nauseous.

00:56:23
Speaker 4: Thank you Tony Hawk for helping me count upwards by one eighty.

00:56:27
Speaker 3: He really did a lot for us in the nineties. Every student ten eighty snowboarding, and Tony Hawk really led us to be able to multiply that way. What happens after ten eighty though nobody knows, No one ever.

00:56:39
Speaker 4: Fairly cannot even imagine.

00:56:42
Speaker 3: No mathematician or scientist could tell you. Nobody knows what scepter ten eighty nine. Um, okay, so you got one out of three?

00:56:52
Speaker 4: Not great, horrible? Can I have to repeat this grade?

00:56:56
Speaker 3: You didn't fail completely, but you did fail. We hate to see it, but that's okay. This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no emails. People write into I Said no gifts at gmail dot com with whatever the hell they want to ask me. The listeners have all kinds of problems in their lives, largely gifts and social related. But whatever, I try to help them. My listeners are I mean their lives are you know when you're listening to this podcast that you're you're in a hard spot. You're the wife of the party, you just woke up. You're wearing a wife of the party shirt sixty degrees spinning around you. Life is hell. Would you help me help somebody?

00:57:37
Speaker 4: I'd love to.

00:57:38
Speaker 3: Okay, let me read one of these Okay, this is Hybrids. You're a lovely guest, very nice. I guess my question is was there another part of this email that I didn't read? I don't know. I guess My question is, how do you ask someone if they still have a gift you gave them. The best gift I ever gave was a horde of phones. We share a birthday, same day, same year. I feel like some part of this email is missing or something happened, because I feel like there's information that is assumed, but I'll keep reading anyway. We share a birthday, so as our eighteenth birthday approach, I started thinking of what I might give her as a gift.

00:58:15
Speaker 4: Something got deleted. Who cares.

00:58:17
Speaker 3: Being from a large family prone to hoarding, I happened to know that there was in my house a drawer full of old phones that were wireless house phones, my mom's old blackberries, a few antennaed cell phones from the early two thousands, and even my old pink Motorola Raser the flip phone kind I know what that is. I artfully arranged these phones in a clear plastic pretzel container and added some minimal decoration. This was around eight years ago, and we lost touch for a while. I can tell you why when I moved away for college. But I sometimes wonder if she still has the horde of phones. She's now my friendly neighborhood dealer. Okay, this is a whole movie. We're missing information, but who cares? But I wish I knew if there was a polite way to ask what happened to my gift from so many years ago? Thanks so much for your help, Love the Pod. Love you too, Katie from Chicago, Love you.

00:59:07
Speaker 4: Too, Katie.

00:59:08
Speaker 3: So, Katie, I don't know what happened with this email. This is no I'm not taking any of the blame here or blaming Katie or blaming her dealer and this mysterious relationship. But she's basically wondering, how do you find out if somebody still has that gift you gave them?

00:59:22
Speaker 4: You are buying drugs from this person. I feel like they'll be okay with you, going, hey, you still got those phones I gave you last year.

00:59:30
Speaker 3: I don't know, this could be a very tense relationship. Maybe they're meeting in secret, they're sitting down on a bench in the park and they don't know each other. Yeah, that sort of thing, trying to keep it under wraps.

00:59:40
Speaker 4: Something with the ziploc bag full of razors.

00:59:44
Speaker 3: You can play snake on this one. I mean, I feel like, at least in this situation, this is how you do it. You if you want to be subtle and you want to get somebody a gift, or you want to know you said their birthday is approaching, you say, hey, I was thinking about getting you a giant jug of cell phones. You don't have to have any of those, do you. I feel like that's a decent way to get into that.

01:00:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's there's always a fun way of like especially if you're already at the store buying someone a gift and like you're like, oh wait, they already have this, and then sending a text like hey, like remember we were all hanging out playing with that food massager, Right, what are you talking about?

01:00:21
Speaker 1: Oh?

01:00:21
Speaker 4: Okay, good, all right. Actually, my sister's birthday was last week and I had a memory of her boyfriend playing a theremon at their house and she has like a carbal tunnel injury, and I was like, so so artless. I was like, was that carpal tunnel thing from playing with that theremon? She's like what It's like, you know, all right, well you're not getting it, can you?

01:00:48
Speaker 3: I wonder can you get carbal tunnel from a theremon? Probably you'd have to be going pretty hard. Ian Incubus was like they did. I saw them live at the Duck Pond and they had a theramy. Feeling a lot, Haley, I had just given my best friend a whole bag of phones. Wow, Haley, is Katie from Chicago.

01:01:10
Speaker 4: I am.

01:01:11
Speaker 3: I played a theremon for the first time a few years ago or a couple of years ago at a friends and extremely difficult thing to be very hard.

01:01:19
Speaker 4: It is witchcraft like, so precise the positions, and you have to do it with two hands too.

01:01:24
Speaker 3: It makes it's strange that anyone was ever able to learn how to use that thing. I would obviously. It's a beautiful, bizarre instrument, but almost impossible if you don't know what you're doing. It's not like a piano where you can eventually bang out something.

01:01:38
Speaker 4: You can't play chopsticks on a theremon, but you should try.

01:01:42
Speaker 3: I would love to hear chopsticks. Yeah, that's a well, we're learning so much. Incubis had a theremon player. They should have gone harder on the theremon. I think they would probably still be a band.

01:01:55
Speaker 4: Are they still a band? Okay?

01:01:57
Speaker 3: My apologies to the ink. Back to Katie though, Katie, I mean I've already given you your answer, just offer to give her another jug of the phones or threatened to cut off your buying of the drug deal, tell me I won't be buying.

01:02:16
Speaker 4: Hopefully a nice decent drug.

01:02:18
Speaker 3: Hopefully, hopefully this wholesome plant based Yeah, hopefully the whoever this mysterious woman is isn't selling Katie math. But we don't know because apparently I deleted the email.

01:02:31
Speaker 4: It's the email is not promising on that front.

01:02:35
Speaker 3: We really don't know what the situation is. But Katie, go ahead and break into our house just to ask.

01:02:42
Speaker 4: Just break into her house and ask, or.

01:02:44
Speaker 3: Scour your local thrift stores for the gift. And if you come upon it and your heart is broken and you're bawling in a good will, that's that's a little story for later. Yeah, and the drugs will help. The drugs will help to get over that little problem.

01:03:00
Speaker 4: Haley.

01:03:01
Speaker 3: We answered the question. I don't know if I would say perfectly, I would probably say more than perfectly.

01:03:06
Speaker 4: Yeah, just answered.

01:03:09
Speaker 3: We gave it an are all. We did everything we could for Katie. If she if that doesn't help, nothing will the things we do, Haley. I now have my little pineapple. I've got probably six months worth of peas in here. Because they're about nine peas. I'll eat one every three weeks or so. I don't know if the math there adds up, it doesn't matter. M thank you so much for being here, being here man, Thank you for bringing Dorothy. Dorothy was a little pill, but thank you for tolerating this little ball. She's been terrific. And I have no complaints. Nice.

01:03:42
Speaker 4: You don't bark, Dorothy. God silence, silent menace.

01:03:46
Speaker 3: Uh listener. Podcast is over. It stopped raining. I've kind of won in my current battle with Mother Nature if that's her real name. She and I will probably continue to do this, and I'll probably wake up to a flood in my home again tomorrow. I don't want to send you off on this anxious note. There are birds singing. There is hope, hope for you to come back to the podcast next week.

01:04:11
Speaker 4: Goodbye.

01:04:12
Speaker 3: I love you, I said. No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Neilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said, no gifts. I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts?

01:04:47
Speaker 2: And I invit? Did you hear fun a man myself perfectly clear? When you're a guest to Mr. You gotta come to me empty.

01:05:02
Speaker 1: And I said, no, guest, your own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do

01:05:14
Speaker 2: You dare to surbe me