1 00:00:04,795 --> 00:00:21,835 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. We 2 00:00:21,915 --> 00:00:26,315 Speaker 1: all know what globalists means, right, We all know what 3 00:00:26,475 --> 00:00:30,275 Speaker 1: globalists is a euphemism for what it means among the 4 00:00:30,355 --> 00:00:34,355 Speaker 1: Qanons and the fascists and the Magas and the Trumpists 5 00:00:34,395 --> 00:00:39,795 Speaker 1: and the Republicans. Right as ever, in the endless flow 6 00:00:40,515 --> 00:00:45,315 Speaker 1: of perversion and evil and sickness coming out of Trump, 7 00:00:45,795 --> 00:00:48,355 Speaker 1: there is so much all at once that you can 8 00:00:48,395 --> 00:00:52,155 Speaker 1: miss some of it. Wednesday in Detroit at the fake 9 00:00:52,275 --> 00:00:54,715 Speaker 1: rally with the fake union members, you. 10 00:00:54,715 --> 00:00:57,595 Speaker 2: Need to send a message and join the ultimate strike 11 00:00:57,675 --> 00:01:00,515 Speaker 2: against the globalist class by casting your vote for. 12 00:01:01,035 --> 00:01:03,675 Speaker 1: He followed that up with a social media post quoting, 13 00:01:03,755 --> 00:01:08,835 Speaker 1: of course himself, same thing, join the ultimate strike against 14 00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:13,755 Speaker 1: the globalist class. And of course that is the rare 15 00:01:13,835 --> 00:01:17,635 Speaker 1: double dog whistle, because to anti Semites like Trump, globalist 16 00:01:17,755 --> 00:01:21,395 Speaker 1: means Jews, but it also has a clean meaning dealing 17 00:01:21,435 --> 00:01:24,475 Speaker 1: with the interconnections of the modern world internationally. And he 18 00:01:24,515 --> 00:01:29,075 Speaker 1: got away with strike there because he was nominally addressing 19 00:01:29,115 --> 00:01:32,315 Speaker 1: the labor action by the United Auto Workers. And of course, 20 00:01:32,355 --> 00:01:34,515 Speaker 1: if you think he was telling his cult of thugs 21 00:01:34,875 --> 00:01:38,075 Speaker 1: to take labor action against those dealing with the interconnections 22 00:01:38,075 --> 00:01:42,675 Speaker 1: of the modern world. Congratulations on awakening from your nine 23 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:47,995 Speaker 1: year coma. Trump began to covertly attack Jewish people as 24 00:01:48,035 --> 00:01:52,915 Speaker 1: soon as his presidential campaign began. He threatened globalists at 25 00:01:52,915 --> 00:01:58,475 Speaker 1: the United Nations. This is nothing new, but the use 26 00:01:58,675 --> 00:02:03,595 Speaker 1: of that term ultimate strike should set off any remaining 27 00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:07,875 Speaker 1: alarm bells which have not been ringing continuously all this time. 28 00:02:07,955 --> 00:02:12,475 Speaker 1: This is not a complicated calculation. If Donald Trump determined 29 00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:16,155 Speaker 1: that he could get elected by beginning a full fledged 30 00:02:16,235 --> 00:02:23,795 Speaker 1: Paulgrom against Jewish people, Jewish influence, Jewish whatever, he'd do it. 31 00:02:24,755 --> 00:02:26,835 Speaker 1: When we speak of him as having the soul of 32 00:02:26,875 --> 00:02:30,635 Speaker 1: a mass murder, that's what we mean. People do not 33 00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:35,395 Speaker 1: have any actual value to him. They don't exist for him. 34 00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,555 Speaker 1: Reenact the Holocaust in whole or in part to get 35 00:02:38,555 --> 00:02:41,115 Speaker 1: re elected to stay out of jail. Of course, he'd 36 00:02:41,155 --> 00:02:44,035 Speaker 1: do that, and he'd do it to any group you 37 00:02:44,075 --> 00:02:46,915 Speaker 1: could name. If he became convinced that he could regain 38 00:02:46,955 --> 00:02:51,075 Speaker 1: the White House by rounding up and killing all the 39 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:56,595 Speaker 1: left handed people, he would do it. But of course, 40 00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:58,955 Speaker 1: the issue of the globalists is one of the few 41 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:03,355 Speaker 1: that actually resonates with something inside Trump's semi human brain 42 00:03:03,635 --> 00:03:07,315 Speaker 1: because he is an anti Semite. It is just two 43 00:03:07,395 --> 00:03:12,315 Speaker 1: weekends since he reposted a meme on Russiashana created by 44 00:03:12,355 --> 00:03:15,115 Speaker 1: some clown who used to be on this Real Housewives 45 00:03:15,155 --> 00:03:19,835 Speaker 1: of New Jersey show called Siggi flicker quote just a 46 00:03:19,915 --> 00:03:23,555 Speaker 1: quick reminder for liberal Jews who voted to destroy America 47 00:03:23,555 --> 00:03:27,075 Speaker 1: and Israel because you believe false narratives. Let's hope you 48 00:03:27,235 --> 00:03:30,315 Speaker 1: learned from your mistake and make better choices moving forward. 49 00:03:30,555 --> 00:03:33,875 Speaker 1: Happy New Year. And then there was a reference to 50 00:03:33,955 --> 00:03:36,595 Speaker 1: all the things Trump supposedly has done for Jewish people 51 00:03:36,755 --> 00:03:40,515 Speaker 1: and the rhetorical question, what Nazi anti Semite ever did this? 52 00:03:41,075 --> 00:03:47,715 Speaker 1: And this flicker woman misspelled Nazi. It was a year 53 00:03:48,075 --> 00:03:50,875 Speaker 1: ago when Trump insisted that American Jews quote have to 54 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:53,235 Speaker 1: get their act together before it is too late, and 55 00:03:53,315 --> 00:03:55,995 Speaker 1: he again pushed the calumny that Jews are loyal to 56 00:03:56,075 --> 00:03:58,155 Speaker 1: Israel and not to the United States. And at the 57 00:03:58,155 --> 00:04:01,435 Speaker 1: White House on Hanaka once he referred to your country 58 00:04:01,475 --> 00:04:04,355 Speaker 1: meaning Israel. And the dinner with the avalidly anti Semitic 59 00:04:04,395 --> 00:04:07,635 Speaker 1: Nickes and Kanye West in the praising of Hitler to 60 00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,195 Speaker 1: his former chief of staff John Kelly, and the Vanity 61 00:04:10,275 --> 00:04:13,755 Speaker 1: Fair article from nineteen ninety quote. Iv Anna Trump told 62 00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:16,475 Speaker 1: her lawyer that from time to time her husband reads 63 00:04:16,475 --> 00:04:19,715 Speaker 1: a book of Hitler's collected speeches, which he keeps in 64 00:04:19,755 --> 00:04:23,715 Speaker 1: a cabinet by his bed, a story that was confirmed 65 00:04:24,395 --> 00:04:27,275 Speaker 1: by the former chief of Gulf and Western and Paramount 66 00:04:27,275 --> 00:04:30,475 Speaker 1: Marty Davis, who gave Trump that book. And I'm sorry 67 00:04:31,315 --> 00:04:33,795 Speaker 1: if this is all old news for you, but it 68 00:04:33,915 --> 00:04:38,035 Speaker 1: seems to me that the process of normalizing Trump began 69 00:04:38,795 --> 00:04:42,955 Speaker 1: when we stopped reviewing at least the worst evidence of 70 00:04:42,995 --> 00:04:45,755 Speaker 1: his malignancies each time he added to one of his 71 00:04:45,875 --> 00:04:51,355 Speaker 1: countless lists of them. Join the Ultimate Strike against the 72 00:04:51,475 --> 00:04:57,475 Speaker 1: globalist class is not some random throwaway line. He did 73 00:04:57,515 --> 00:05:02,115 Speaker 1: it in Detroit because who knows, the fact that he 74 00:05:02,195 --> 00:05:05,315 Speaker 1: was talking about an actual auto worker's strike gave him 75 00:05:05,315 --> 00:05:08,955 Speaker 1: the opportunity, or it was an homage to the great 76 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:13,955 Speaker 1: anti Semite role model Henry Ford. Who knows. But if 77 00:05:13,995 --> 00:05:17,675 Speaker 1: a man is standing there holding a gun and nothing 78 00:05:17,755 --> 00:05:21,995 Speaker 1: happens to you for minutes or hours, or days or years, 79 00:05:21,995 --> 00:05:24,195 Speaker 1: you do, in fact begin to get used to the 80 00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:27,315 Speaker 1: idea that the man is holding a gun, and you 81 00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:30,635 Speaker 1: do begin to stop thinking that he is about to 82 00:05:30,755 --> 00:05:36,995 Speaker 1: use it. He just told voters to join him as 83 00:05:37,035 --> 00:05:43,915 Speaker 1: he uses the goddamned gun in the ultimate strike against 84 00:05:43,955 --> 00:05:50,995 Speaker 1: the globalist class. Doesn't mean anything. What are you worried about? 85 00:05:51,675 --> 00:05:55,635 Speaker 1: It's just rhetoric. Doesn't mean a thing unless it will 86 00:05:55,675 --> 00:05:59,715 Speaker 1: get him into the White House, or after he's already 87 00:05:59,755 --> 00:06:07,315 Speaker 1: in the White House, unless it'll keep him there. Oh 88 00:06:07,315 --> 00:06:09,875 Speaker 1: and by the way, the New York Times photographer who 89 00:06:09,875 --> 00:06:13,595 Speaker 1: insisted those were union members Trump talked to in Detroit 90 00:06:13,675 --> 00:06:17,475 Speaker 1: finally has deleted his tweet it happened yesterday afternoon. The 91 00:06:17,475 --> 00:06:21,155 Speaker 1: impression note continues to linger that Trump was talking to 92 00:06:21,315 --> 00:06:27,035 Speaker 1: striking auto workers rather than non union parts manufacturer employees 93 00:06:27,275 --> 00:06:29,635 Speaker 1: who were ordered into that room by the owner of 94 00:06:29,715 --> 00:06:35,915 Speaker 1: their plant. And it lingers because Trump's people gave those 95 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:40,955 Speaker 1: people signs reading auto workers for Trump and union members 96 00:06:40,955 --> 00:06:43,355 Speaker 1: for Trump, and the newspaper, the Detroit News, did what 97 00:06:43,395 --> 00:06:47,795 Speaker 1: every news organization should do every time for every Trump story. 98 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:54,315 Speaker 1: The reporter went and asked the people holding the signs. Quote. 99 00:06:54,755 --> 00:06:56,995 Speaker 1: One individual in the crowd who held a sign that 100 00:06:57,035 --> 00:07:00,235 Speaker 1: said union members for Trump acknowledged that she wasn't a 101 00:07:00,355 --> 00:07:04,675 Speaker 1: union member. Another person with a sign that read audio 102 00:07:04,915 --> 00:07:09,715 Speaker 1: workers for Trump said he wasn't an auto worker. The 103 00:07:09,755 --> 00:07:13,555 Speaker 1: Detroit News buried it and paragraphed seventeen, but still they 104 00:07:13,595 --> 00:07:17,915 Speaker 1: did better than the New York Times initially did. And 105 00:07:17,955 --> 00:07:21,115 Speaker 1: of course nobody noticed that the line about the ultimate 106 00:07:21,235 --> 00:07:25,635 Speaker 1: strike against the globalist class happened during that speech. It 107 00:07:25,715 --> 00:07:28,595 Speaker 1: was not included in the Detroit News story anybody else's 108 00:07:28,635 --> 00:07:31,835 Speaker 1: story for that matter, or that when he said it 109 00:07:31,875 --> 00:07:37,395 Speaker 1: he was in Clinton Township, Michigan, or noted the coincidence 110 00:07:37,395 --> 00:07:41,035 Speaker 1: that he first used an anti semitic meme against Hillary 111 00:07:41,115 --> 00:07:51,235 Speaker 1: Clinton in twenty sixteen. There is a list somewhere, and 112 00:07:51,275 --> 00:07:53,795 Speaker 1: we know it has her name on it, along with 113 00:07:53,835 --> 00:07:58,675 Speaker 1: everybody else he's directed stochastic terror towards. The subtext to 114 00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:02,155 Speaker 1: all of it is that it doesn't really matter to Trump. 115 00:08:03,155 --> 00:08:06,595 Speaker 1: Maybe he was angry and general Mark Milly to briefly 116 00:08:06,635 --> 00:08:10,155 Speaker 1: have really endorsed the idea that the quote punishment would 117 00:08:10,155 --> 00:08:14,515 Speaker 1: have been death. But ultimately, again it's a calculation. If 118 00:08:14,515 --> 00:08:20,275 Speaker 1: he calculated that making Mark Milly his vice presidential running 119 00:08:20,315 --> 00:08:22,435 Speaker 1: mate would get him to the White House, he would 120 00:08:22,515 --> 00:08:25,515 Speaker 1: do it. And if you doubt that for a minute, 121 00:08:26,275 --> 00:08:29,835 Speaker 1: that when you peel back each layer of Trumpean psychosis 122 00:08:29,875 --> 00:08:34,435 Speaker 1: and cynicism and lack of belief in anything. All you 123 00:08:34,635 --> 00:08:39,475 Speaker 1: find is another layer of exactly the same thing. Every 124 00:08:39,475 --> 00:08:41,915 Speaker 1: once in a while it gets freshly confirmed for you. 125 00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:45,475 Speaker 1: The attack on the New York Judge Arthur anger On quote, 126 00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:50,995 Speaker 1: this political hack must be stopped. It's based on nothing. 127 00:08:51,995 --> 00:08:54,515 Speaker 1: What I mentioned yesterday turns out to be only the 128 00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:57,955 Speaker 1: half of it. Trump now insists mari Lago could be 129 00:08:57,995 --> 00:09:00,955 Speaker 1: worth two billion dollars, but anger On said it's worth 130 00:09:00,955 --> 00:09:05,435 Speaker 1: sixteen million. Therefore he must be stopped. As I mentioned, 131 00:09:05,435 --> 00:09:08,275 Speaker 1: three years ago, the tax assessors of Palm Beach County, 132 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,115 Speaker 1: Florida said marri Lago was worth twenty six million, and 133 00:09:11,155 --> 00:09:17,555 Speaker 1: Trump said, no, that's too high. He appealed the tax assessment. 134 00:09:17,595 --> 00:09:20,275 Speaker 1: He wanted it to be worth less than twenty six million. 135 00:09:20,555 --> 00:09:23,595 Speaker 1: Now the website Messenger reports it turns out that on 136 00:09:23,675 --> 00:09:27,715 Speaker 1: November sixteenth, twenty twenty, Trump withdrew the appeal of the 137 00:09:27,755 --> 00:09:32,235 Speaker 1: tax assessment and agreed officially with the government that mari 138 00:09:32,235 --> 00:09:36,275 Speaker 1: A Lago is worth no more than twenty six million dollars. 139 00:09:36,515 --> 00:09:39,715 Speaker 1: So he has put anger On's life at risk because 140 00:09:39,795 --> 00:09:43,195 Speaker 1: anger On said the place was worth sixteen million, but 141 00:09:43,355 --> 00:09:46,515 Speaker 1: Trump agreed in writing in a filing that it's worth 142 00:09:46,675 --> 00:09:52,635 Speaker 1: twenty six million. And it's not just madness, it's mundanity. 143 00:09:54,315 --> 00:09:56,515 Speaker 1: We have a new page in the stochastic threats against 144 00:09:56,635 --> 00:10:00,315 Speaker 1: NBC in the entire news media too, the country threatening 145 00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:04,555 Speaker 1: treason bull crap, which I will grant. Trump probably does 146 00:10:04,795 --> 00:10:08,715 Speaker 1: believe that the outgoing editor of the Washington Post, Marty Barron, 147 00:10:09,075 --> 00:10:11,635 Speaker 1: has the inevitable book coming out, and in it he 148 00:10:11,715 --> 00:10:14,955 Speaker 1: says that during Trump's tenure in the White House, Trump 149 00:10:14,995 --> 00:10:17,875 Speaker 1: had Jared Kushner try to get the Post's publisher Fred 150 00:10:17,955 --> 00:10:22,235 Speaker 1: Ryan to fire him as editor because the paper thoroughly 151 00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:26,155 Speaker 1: covered Trump's conspiracy with Russia to illegally influence the twenty 152 00:10:26,235 --> 00:10:31,155 Speaker 1: sixteen election. Quoting the book with no delay and without pause. 153 00:10:31,235 --> 00:10:33,755 Speaker 1: During his four years as president, Trump and his team 154 00:10:33,795 --> 00:10:35,835 Speaker 1: would go after The Post and everyone else in the 155 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:40,675 Speaker 1: media who didn't bend to his wishes. In December twenty nineteen, 156 00:10:40,755 --> 00:10:44,555 Speaker 1: Kushner would lean on Ryan to withdraw support for me 157 00:10:44,795 --> 00:10:49,275 Speaker 1: and our Russia investigation unquote. At one point, after a 158 00:10:49,275 --> 00:10:52,195 Speaker 1: dinner with the Post executives and Trump and Kushner, this 159 00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:56,715 Speaker 1: idiot NEPO baby and Nepo's son in law. Kushner thought 160 00:10:56,755 --> 00:10:59,435 Speaker 1: he was close to actually getting the Post to somehow 161 00:10:59,635 --> 00:11:04,075 Speaker 1: make it all up to Trump. Barn writes, Kushner quote 162 00:11:04,235 --> 00:11:08,115 Speaker 1: suggests did the Post issue an apology and there be 163 00:11:08,275 --> 00:11:11,635 Speaker 1: a reckoning of some sort, as he advised that he 164 00:11:11,715 --> 00:11:13,995 Speaker 1: himself had made a huge mistake in one standing by 165 00:11:14,075 --> 00:11:16,475 Speaker 1: a former editor of The New York Observer and one 166 00:11:16,475 --> 00:11:19,555 Speaker 1: of its stories when he owned the publication. Standing by 167 00:11:19,635 --> 00:11:21,715 Speaker 1: my editor at that time was the biggest regret in 168 00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:24,115 Speaker 1: the ten years I owned the newspaper, he wrote in 169 00:11:24,155 --> 00:11:27,315 Speaker 1: the email to Ryan, Kushner's intent was clear to me. 170 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:32,995 Speaker 1: He aims to get me fired. I told Ryan, well, 171 00:11:32,995 --> 00:11:36,515 Speaker 1: I mean it's better than charging Baron with country threatening treason, 172 00:11:37,635 --> 00:11:40,435 Speaker 1: which sounds like something you get at the waffle house. 173 00:11:41,555 --> 00:11:44,635 Speaker 1: But it underlines something important that I've mentioned here twenty 174 00:11:44,715 --> 00:11:48,715 Speaker 1: thousand times. Kushner thought he was going to get Marty 175 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,795 Speaker 1: Barron fired by the Post, or that he was going 176 00:11:51,795 --> 00:11:54,715 Speaker 1: to get the Post to retract its Russia coverage, or 177 00:11:54,955 --> 00:11:57,275 Speaker 1: he thought he was going to get Trump apologized to. 178 00:11:57,435 --> 00:12:00,835 Speaker 1: And he thought that because the companies that own news 179 00:12:00,955 --> 00:12:05,675 Speaker 1: organizations in this country think that way as well. There 180 00:12:05,795 --> 00:12:09,995 Speaker 1: is no question that they have met internally to discuss 181 00:12:10,035 --> 00:12:13,955 Speaker 1: how to keep Trump at bay and how to strategize 182 00:12:13,995 --> 00:12:18,595 Speaker 1: what they can do today to mitigate his vengeance if 183 00:12:18,635 --> 00:12:22,915 Speaker 1: he ever regains power, and the Kushner Marty Barron's story 184 00:12:23,035 --> 00:12:28,595 Speaker 1: indicates it's all a negotiation. So when you and I 185 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:31,155 Speaker 1: might still have a glimmer of hope that the Post 186 00:12:31,355 --> 00:12:34,635 Speaker 1: or NBC News or the Times or somebody is going 187 00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:38,675 Speaker 1: to one day drop the story that destroys Trump, just 188 00:12:38,795 --> 00:12:41,555 Speaker 1: remember that even if they did not agree to, let 189 00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:44,515 Speaker 1: Trump help determine what they would and would not say 190 00:12:44,555 --> 00:12:47,555 Speaker 1: in the Washington Post about Trump. When the time came 191 00:12:48,315 --> 00:12:51,275 Speaker 1: in twenty seventeen that Trump believed he had the right 192 00:12:51,355 --> 00:12:56,435 Speaker 1: to negotiate these things, he summoned the Washington Post's publisher 193 00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:59,755 Speaker 1: and its editor, and they went to the White House 194 00:13:00,195 --> 00:13:10,235 Speaker 1: as ordered, which means they will do it again. Trial 195 00:13:10,355 --> 00:13:13,275 Speaker 1: round up. Jack Smith is to answer Trump's answer to 196 00:13:13,355 --> 00:13:16,475 Speaker 1: his gag order request. It is due by tomorrow. Past 197 00:13:16,635 --> 00:13:20,795 Speaker 1: practice suggests the Special Council could very easily submit it today. 198 00:13:21,555 --> 00:13:24,515 Speaker 1: There is also a twist in the stolen classified documents 199 00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:26,955 Speaker 1: case that I swear I did not see coming. In 200 00:13:27,075 --> 00:13:30,115 Speaker 1: filings made yesterday, Smith's office noted that two weeks ago, 201 00:13:30,115 --> 00:13:32,755 Speaker 1: at a hearing, the government stated that nine of the 202 00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:37,195 Speaker 1: documents are so sensitive, so secret, that they cannot be 203 00:13:37,315 --> 00:13:41,715 Speaker 1: kept in the secure facility the skiff that has been 204 00:13:41,795 --> 00:13:45,755 Speaker 1: arranged for Trump in Florida while they look for somewhere 205 00:13:45,795 --> 00:13:49,835 Speaker 1: in Florida even more secure than a skiff. Quote, these 206 00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:53,075 Speaker 1: documents can be made available in the Washington, DC area 207 00:13:53,515 --> 00:13:58,675 Speaker 1: for Defense Council's review at their convenience, call one eight 208 00:13:58,795 --> 00:14:03,115 Speaker 1: hundred secret docs to make an appointment. Nine of the 209 00:14:03,195 --> 00:14:07,435 Speaker 1: documents Trump stole are too secret to be kept in 210 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:11,595 Speaker 1: the secret facility, but he had them in the bathroom 211 00:14:11,635 --> 00:14:16,315 Speaker 1: at crap Shack a Lago. This comes as the government 212 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:19,115 Speaker 1: accuses Trump of trying to stall the Florida case to 213 00:14:19,115 --> 00:14:22,475 Speaker 1: push the entire pre trial schedule there back three months 214 00:14:22,555 --> 00:14:24,915 Speaker 1: rather than just delay a couple of pre trial hearings 215 00:14:25,155 --> 00:14:28,235 Speaker 1: about some of these secret documents. That way, nothing would 216 00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:32,595 Speaker 1: start in May of next year. Everything would start in 217 00:14:32,795 --> 00:14:36,635 Speaker 1: August of next year. He's trying to delay in DC 218 00:14:36,795 --> 00:14:39,115 Speaker 1: as well. Some pre trial motions are due in the 219 00:14:39,115 --> 00:14:42,515 Speaker 1: next two weeks. Trump wants until December. It is believed 220 00:14:42,555 --> 00:14:48,155 Speaker 1: he wants to stall before submitting this fabricated executive immunity nonsense, 221 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:53,035 Speaker 1: and a change of venue motion, which are themselves stall tactics. Again, 222 00:14:53,075 --> 00:14:56,235 Speaker 1: this is under Judge Chutkin, who is inclined to punish 223 00:14:56,275 --> 00:14:59,715 Speaker 1: things like, you know, threatening to have a potential witness 224 00:14:59,755 --> 00:15:04,235 Speaker 1: like Mark Milly killed by the mob. She responds to 225 00:15:04,235 --> 00:15:07,315 Speaker 1: stuff like that that by starting the trial sooner. And 226 00:15:07,395 --> 00:15:10,435 Speaker 1: yet a third Trump delay has washed out. In New York, 227 00:15:10,675 --> 00:15:13,835 Speaker 1: the civil fraud trial will start Monday as scheduled, as 228 00:15:13,875 --> 00:15:17,875 Speaker 1: the Appellate Division rejected the lawsuit against the Judge oh In. 229 00:15:17,995 --> 00:15:21,955 Speaker 1: One other piece of litigiousness, the gossip section of the 230 00:15:21,995 --> 00:15:26,075 Speaker 1: New York Post, which is basically the whole paper, reports 231 00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:31,555 Speaker 1: that Milania Trump, you remember her, she's his quote wife, unquote, 232 00:15:31,715 --> 00:15:37,195 Speaker 1: Milania Trump has renegotiated her prenup. This is at least 233 00:15:37,195 --> 00:15:40,675 Speaker 1: the third time the Post quotes its unnamed source. It 234 00:15:40,755 --> 00:15:43,515 Speaker 1: claims she's doing this to make sure the trust package 235 00:15:43,515 --> 00:15:47,955 Speaker 1: for their son Baron is increased if Trump serves a 236 00:15:48,035 --> 00:15:53,755 Speaker 1: second term rather than serves a lifetime sentence. The Post 237 00:15:53,835 --> 00:15:57,675 Speaker 1: offers no other details, but you know, you have to 238 00:15:57,795 --> 00:16:03,715 Speaker 1: wonder whether in the renegotiations Milania got the rights to 239 00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:09,555 Speaker 1: any particular unused plot near one of the tees at 240 00:16:09,555 --> 00:16:18,355 Speaker 1: the Trump golf Course and Cemetery in Bedminster, New Jersey. Now, 241 00:16:18,675 --> 00:16:22,155 Speaker 1: as to the interference being run on Trump's behalf in Washington, 242 00:16:22,195 --> 00:16:24,715 Speaker 1: I happen to think that James Comer and Jim Jordan 243 00:16:24,795 --> 00:16:27,875 Speaker 1: and the other members of the House Oversight at Obstruction 244 00:16:27,955 --> 00:16:32,355 Speaker 1: of Justice Committee happened to be among the biggest idiots 245 00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:36,635 Speaker 1: in the history of the Congress. After their first Biden 246 00:16:36,795 --> 00:16:42,995 Speaker 1: impeachment inquiry hearing yesterday, it is clear I have overrated them. 247 00:16:43,475 --> 00:16:48,035 Speaker 1: Not only did their expert constitutional witness by one time 248 00:16:48,395 --> 00:16:53,035 Speaker 1: go to Attorney Guest John Turley say this, but he 249 00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:57,275 Speaker 1: wrote it in his prepared testimony, so they knew in advance, 250 00:16:57,955 --> 00:17:00,315 Speaker 1: with plenty of time to cancel him, that he was 251 00:17:00,435 --> 00:17:03,915 Speaker 1: going to say it, and they did not cancel him. 252 00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:05,435 Speaker 1: So he said this. 253 00:17:05,955 --> 00:17:09,635 Speaker 2: In fact, I do not believe that the current evidence 254 00:17:09,635 --> 00:17:12,555 Speaker 2: would support articles of impeachment. 255 00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:17,875 Speaker 1: Good Lord, your first witness. It was so bad that 256 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:20,435 Speaker 1: Fox's Neil Cavudo came on and said that rather than 257 00:17:20,435 --> 00:17:22,475 Speaker 1: the old saw being true that where there is smoke, 258 00:17:22,515 --> 00:17:25,275 Speaker 1: there is fire, in this case, where there is smoke, 259 00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:31,555 Speaker 1: there was just more smoke. Alexandria Ocasio Cortes erased Turley 260 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:36,715 Speaker 1: and two other Republican witnesses in under one minute. In fact, mister. 261 00:17:36,475 --> 00:17:39,435 Speaker 3: Turley, I have a simple question for you in your 262 00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:44,915 Speaker 3: testimony today. Are you presenting any first hand witness account 263 00:17:45,115 --> 00:17:47,795 Speaker 3: of crimes committed by the President of the United States. 264 00:17:48,155 --> 00:17:48,635 Speaker 1: No, I'm not. 265 00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:51,715 Speaker 3: No, you are not, Miss O'Connor. You are the second 266 00:17:52,035 --> 00:17:56,595 Speaker 3: Republican witness here today. Have you, in your testimony presented 267 00:17:56,635 --> 00:17:59,475 Speaker 3: any first hand witness account of crimes committed by the 268 00:17:59,475 --> 00:18:00,755 Speaker 3: President of the United States? 269 00:18:00,875 --> 00:18:01,275 Speaker 2: I have not. 270 00:18:01,995 --> 00:18:05,795 Speaker 3: Thank you now, mister Tubinski, as the and final Republican 271 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:10,115 Speaker 3: witness in this hearing, have you, in your testimony presented 272 00:18:10,155 --> 00:18:13,555 Speaker 3: any firsthand witness account of crimes committed by the presidents 273 00:18:13,555 --> 00:18:14,395 Speaker 3: of the United States? 274 00:18:14,795 --> 00:18:15,235 Speaker 2: I have not. 275 00:18:15,515 --> 00:18:19,075 Speaker 1: And lastly, from literally the first weeks I went into 276 00:18:19,115 --> 00:18:21,955 Speaker 1: the news business in nineteen ninety seven, it was clear 277 00:18:21,995 --> 00:18:25,835 Speaker 1: to me that we are not paying our elected representatives 278 00:18:25,955 --> 00:18:30,115 Speaker 1: enough money to prevent the semi intelligent ones from avoiding 279 00:18:30,155 --> 00:18:33,155 Speaker 1: government service altogether and instead going to where the real 280 00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:38,155 Speaker 1: income potential is being a fry cook. The Washington Post 281 00:18:38,235 --> 00:18:41,115 Speaker 1: last night reported that the ultra fascists in the GOP 282 00:18:41,275 --> 00:18:45,635 Speaker 1: House Caucus have selected someone to replace Speaker McCarthy. It'd 283 00:18:45,715 --> 00:18:48,995 Speaker 1: be Tom Emmer of Minnesota. And ordinarily one would say, 284 00:18:49,275 --> 00:18:52,635 Speaker 1: who cares, what's the difference? Trot them out, bring in 285 00:18:52,635 --> 00:18:56,115 Speaker 1: a new one every week, do a college of speakers, 286 00:18:56,275 --> 00:18:59,395 Speaker 1: a new one every seven days. Everybody gets a turn, 287 00:19:00,635 --> 00:19:04,315 Speaker 1: except Tom Emmer is the House Majority whip. He's one 288 00:19:04,355 --> 00:19:10,795 Speaker 1: of my MacCarthy's leadership deputies. He responded to this horror 289 00:19:11,435 --> 00:19:15,875 Speaker 1: of disloyalty to the post with quote, I fully support 290 00:19:15,915 --> 00:19:18,795 Speaker 1: Speaker McCarthy. He knows that, and I know that I 291 00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:24,395 Speaker 1: have zero interest in palace intrigue. End of discussion, unquote, 292 00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:26,275 Speaker 1: I don't hear anything in there about I will not 293 00:19:26,355 --> 00:19:31,475 Speaker 1: become speaker. Plus it translates as when you oust McCarthy 294 00:19:31,595 --> 00:19:35,155 Speaker 1: and ask me to become speaker, I will pretend to hesitate, 295 00:19:35,355 --> 00:19:40,995 Speaker 1: and I will act reluctant for several minutes. To me, 296 00:19:42,075 --> 00:19:44,195 Speaker 1: the obvious choice to be the new Speaker of the 297 00:19:44,235 --> 00:19:49,395 Speaker 1: House when they do in McCarthy would be Chuck Edwards 298 00:19:50,115 --> 00:19:55,355 Speaker 1: of the North Carolina eleventh. Chuck Edwards, who covered himself 299 00:19:55,435 --> 00:20:01,755 Speaker 1: in glory. I covered himself in something at yesterday's impeachment inquiry, 300 00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:07,395 Speaker 1: hearing whatever Congressman Edward is trying to say here it 301 00:20:07,515 --> 00:20:11,395 Speaker 1: is clear he did not bother to read any of 302 00:20:11,435 --> 00:20:13,595 Speaker 1: it in advance. 303 00:20:14,235 --> 00:20:26,275 Speaker 2: Kennis Rocked Rocky Chef is a Kazastani oglia Gark who 304 00:20:26,835 --> 00:20:34,315 Speaker 2: was a director at Kazistan's state owned owl company. Importantly, 305 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:40,595 Speaker 2: Rokyscheff maintains ties to Kareem Masimov. 306 00:20:41,875 --> 00:20:50,355 Speaker 1: Og Gark. I don't know how after that hearing you 307 00:20:50,355 --> 00:20:55,795 Speaker 1: could actually wind up embarrassing the James Comer Carr Crash Committee. 308 00:20:55,835 --> 00:21:00,315 Speaker 1: But Chuck Edwards managed to do it, Chuck Edwards, or 309 00:21:00,315 --> 00:21:07,035 Speaker 1: maybe I should call him, see who edna ed ed 310 00:21:07,515 --> 00:21:19,755 Speaker 1: Edward Edward did we have simultaneous translation on Congressman Edward's 311 00:21:19,795 --> 00:21:22,715 Speaker 1: there also of interest here. There are not enough words 312 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:26,195 Speaker 1: to describe someone who finds out that a former business 313 00:21:26,235 --> 00:21:29,955 Speaker 1: associate and a member of their family are both battling cancer, 314 00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:33,915 Speaker 1: acknowledges that he's not certain that associate wants that fact known, 315 00:21:33,955 --> 00:21:38,475 Speaker 1: but still cannot resist, still cannot stop himself from announcing 316 00:21:38,515 --> 00:21:43,075 Speaker 1: this fact on his own podcast when the family in 317 00:21:43,155 --> 00:21:48,675 Speaker 1: fact did not want it revealed. There are not enough words. 318 00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:55,155 Speaker 1: I only need three words to describe that someone Kurt Shilling, 319 00:21:56,315 --> 00:22:04,075 Speaker 1: scumbag that's next. This is countdown. This is Countdown with 320 00:22:04,275 --> 00:22:29,955 Speaker 1: Keith Woman still ahead on Countdown. It's Stevie Day. Well, 321 00:22:29,995 --> 00:22:32,795 Speaker 1: tomorrow is Stevie Day. First time for the daily roundup 322 00:22:32,795 --> 00:22:35,595 Speaker 1: of the miscreants, morons and Dunning Kruger effects specimens who 323 00:22:35,595 --> 00:22:41,795 Speaker 1: constitute today's worse parsons in the world the Bronze. Following 324 00:22:41,835 --> 00:22:45,995 Speaker 1: up on one of yesterday's winners, It's Lunatics, Stu Peters 325 00:22:46,795 --> 00:22:51,115 Speaker 1: and Morgan Ariel now asserting on their streaming show that 326 00:22:51,235 --> 00:22:57,035 Speaker 1: Taylor Swift and her new boyfriend Travis Kelcey should be executed. 327 00:22:58,075 --> 00:23:00,915 Speaker 1: Ariel quote, if she's dating some high end, you know, 328 00:23:01,035 --> 00:23:04,115 Speaker 1: football player that is pushing the vaccine, then that's going 329 00:23:04,115 --> 00:23:06,595 Speaker 1: to raise the probability that they'll go out and get it. 330 00:23:07,755 --> 00:23:12,035 Speaker 1: Peters quote, these people are responsible for murder. They're actually 331 00:23:12,075 --> 00:23:16,315 Speaker 1: selling their souls and knowingly killing children with a DoD manufactured, 332 00:23:16,715 --> 00:23:20,555 Speaker 1: US government owned and deployed weapon of bio warfare. I 333 00:23:20,555 --> 00:23:24,635 Speaker 1: mean these people should be held to serious account. Unquote 334 00:23:24,715 --> 00:23:28,155 Speaker 1: this woman. Ariel quote, I think people deserve to be 335 00:23:28,195 --> 00:23:31,275 Speaker 1: publicly prosecuted and hung. I mean the same thing that 336 00:23:31,315 --> 00:23:33,555 Speaker 1: you say. I think we need justice in this country. 337 00:23:33,595 --> 00:23:35,715 Speaker 1: I think the celebrities that are pushing it, they should 338 00:23:35,715 --> 00:23:38,235 Speaker 1: be tried, and they don't have any conviction because their 339 00:23:38,275 --> 00:23:40,955 Speaker 1: god is Satan and they value money instead of human life. 340 00:23:41,035 --> 00:23:46,675 Speaker 1: Unquote Yet, clown girl, it's hanged. If you're busy thinking 341 00:23:46,715 --> 00:23:50,435 Speaker 1: about how Travis Kelcey might be hung, that raises all 342 00:23:50,515 --> 00:23:55,355 Speaker 1: kinds of different issues. And again the National Football League 343 00:23:55,435 --> 00:23:58,515 Speaker 1: is placing its Twitter ads next to posts from this guy. 344 00:23:59,115 --> 00:24:03,795 Speaker 1: Stu Pete Ers the runner up. Matt Gates, congressman and 345 00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:07,755 Speaker 1: professional button head impersonator. Big day for him. Yesterday Matt 346 00:24:07,795 --> 00:24:10,395 Speaker 1: got into a shouting match behind closed doors with speaker 347 00:24:10,475 --> 00:24:14,435 Speaker 1: Kevin McCarthy. He claimed McCarthy was paying social media influencers 348 00:24:14,675 --> 00:24:17,875 Speaker 1: to trash him, like you can't get millions of us 349 00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:21,515 Speaker 1: to do that for free. McCarthy then told House Republicans 350 00:24:21,515 --> 00:24:25,115 Speaker 1: he was donating five million dollars to their campaigns, and 351 00:24:25,235 --> 00:24:27,995 Speaker 1: Gates said, how much of that is from FTX or 352 00:24:28,035 --> 00:24:33,915 Speaker 1: Sam Bankman freed, whereupon the Indiana congresson French Hill spoke 353 00:24:33,955 --> 00:24:37,995 Speaker 1: for a weary nation when he shouted, quote, oh, f off, 354 00:24:39,355 --> 00:24:43,715 Speaker 1: but our winner, Kurt Shilling, I've gone through this story before. 355 00:24:44,075 --> 00:24:47,955 Speaker 1: The man is nuts. He's hateful, he's terrible at business, 356 00:24:48,435 --> 00:24:52,035 Speaker 1: he's terrible at broadcasting, and after twenty five years of 357 00:24:52,115 --> 00:24:55,755 Speaker 1: gradually becoming the most hated person in baseball, it would 358 00:24:55,755 --> 00:24:58,835 Speaker 1: seem impossible that he could reach a new high and low. 359 00:24:59,475 --> 00:25:03,515 Speaker 1: Yet there it is. Wednesday, on his podcast, Shilling announced 360 00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:07,035 Speaker 1: that the family of his former Red Sox teammate Tim Wakefield, 361 00:25:07,075 --> 00:25:09,995 Speaker 1: who is, by contrast, one of the most beloved persons 362 00:25:10,035 --> 00:25:14,875 Speaker 1: in baseball, was fighting cancer. This was a surprise, and 363 00:25:14,955 --> 00:25:17,795 Speaker 1: it was a surprise for a good reason. The Red 364 00:25:17,835 --> 00:25:21,395 Speaker 1: Sox yesterday released this statement quote, we are aware of 365 00:25:21,475 --> 00:25:23,995 Speaker 1: the statements and inquiries about the health of Tim and 366 00:25:24,075 --> 00:25:30,115 Speaker 1: Stacey Wakefield. Unfortunately, this information has been shared publicly without 367 00:25:30,235 --> 00:25:34,675 Speaker 1: their permission. Their health is a deeply personal matter they 368 00:25:34,675 --> 00:25:38,195 Speaker 1: intended to keep private as they navigate treatment and work 369 00:25:38,235 --> 00:25:41,795 Speaker 1: to tackle this disease. Tim and Stacy are appreciative of 370 00:25:41,835 --> 00:25:44,915 Speaker 1: the support and love that has always been extended to them, 371 00:25:44,995 --> 00:25:50,115 Speaker 1: and respectfully asked for privacy. At this time, Kurt Shilling 372 00:25:50,195 --> 00:25:55,555 Speaker 1: revealed the plight of these eminently decent people without their 373 00:25:55,595 --> 00:25:59,955 Speaker 1: knowledge or approval. In fact, apparently as he revealed it, 374 00:26:00,435 --> 00:26:03,475 Speaker 1: Shillings said he did not know if the Wakefields wanted 375 00:26:03,515 --> 00:26:07,995 Speaker 1: it known, and and yet he said it anyway. One 376 00:26:07,995 --> 00:26:11,035 Speaker 1: of the other things Kurt Shilling has said repeatedly during 377 00:26:11,035 --> 00:26:13,915 Speaker 1: his flights of bullying and self delusion is that if 378 00:26:13,915 --> 00:26:15,995 Speaker 1: he were ever to meet me, he would punch me 379 00:26:16,115 --> 00:26:19,995 Speaker 1: in the face. Kurt, being a moron, forgets that we 380 00:26:20,115 --> 00:26:23,155 Speaker 1: met first in nineteen ninety three when he was pitching 381 00:26:23,155 --> 00:26:26,115 Speaker 1: for the Philadelphia Phillies and I was broadcasting a game 382 00:26:26,155 --> 00:26:29,355 Speaker 1: for ESPN, and he professed being a fan of mine. 383 00:26:29,795 --> 00:26:32,195 Speaker 1: Then four years later, when I was working on NBC's 384 00:26:32,235 --> 00:26:35,595 Speaker 1: telecast of the Baseball World Series, NBC brought him in 385 00:26:35,635 --> 00:26:39,315 Speaker 1: to do features for the then embryonic internet feed they 386 00:26:39,355 --> 00:26:44,635 Speaker 1: put together. We traveled together for ten days. He asked 387 00:26:44,635 --> 00:26:48,195 Speaker 1: for my advice, several times. He sucked up to me repeatedly. 388 00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:52,035 Speaker 1: He interviewed me for his segment on the Internet. I 389 00:26:52,075 --> 00:26:54,915 Speaker 1: explain all this just to underscore what a fraud Kurt 390 00:26:54,915 --> 00:26:58,515 Speaker 1: Shilling is and that we have already met. So let 391 00:26:58,595 --> 00:27:01,955 Speaker 1: me advance this discussion a little bit. Kurt, You're a scumbag. 392 00:27:02,675 --> 00:27:05,235 Speaker 1: You have no redeeming features. You have failed that everything 393 00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:07,475 Speaker 1: you have tried, you have talked your way out of 394 00:27:07,555 --> 00:27:09,755 Speaker 1: recognition in the Baseball Hall of Fame that you would 395 00:27:09,795 --> 00:27:14,355 Speaker 1: otherwise probably deserve, and now you have abused and betrayed 396 00:27:14,675 --> 00:27:19,115 Speaker 1: Tim Wakefield. So if you and I ever meet again 397 00:27:19,755 --> 00:27:21,995 Speaker 1: and you want to try to punch me in the face, 398 00:27:22,435 --> 00:27:26,435 Speaker 1: go ahead, please do, and then on behalf of mankind. 399 00:27:26,475 --> 00:27:28,755 Speaker 1: Even though I'm giving away seven years in the process, 400 00:27:29,115 --> 00:27:35,115 Speaker 1: I will kick your ass. Kurt Shilling two days and 401 00:27:35,235 --> 00:27:51,275 Speaker 1: in fact every day's worst person in the world. Now 402 00:27:51,475 --> 00:27:54,875 Speaker 1: to my favorite topic, me and things I promise not 403 00:27:54,955 --> 00:27:57,435 Speaker 1: to tell, and a complete change of mood here from 404 00:27:57,435 --> 00:28:03,235 Speaker 1: the last item, because tomorrow is Stevie Day. I have 405 00:28:03,315 --> 00:28:07,115 Speaker 1: told you Stevie's story before four Well, sorry, I can't 406 00:28:07,155 --> 00:28:13,475 Speaker 1: resist telling you again because tomorrow is our anniversary eleven 407 00:28:13,875 --> 00:28:19,435 Speaker 1: years I've mentioned my dogs before. July first was Ted's 408 00:28:19,515 --> 00:28:21,875 Speaker 1: Gotcha day, five years since he came in to me 409 00:28:21,915 --> 00:28:25,955 Speaker 1: as a foster, and then I failed profoundly and he's 410 00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:29,155 Speaker 1: not a foster anymore. He's my little boy. A week 411 00:28:29,275 --> 00:28:32,595 Speaker 1: later is Stevie's birthday. It was the big one one 412 00:28:32,635 --> 00:28:35,875 Speaker 1: this year. Rose doesn't have anything to do with July. 413 00:28:36,755 --> 00:28:39,475 Speaker 1: She'll be almost ten, I guess in a couple of days. 414 00:28:40,035 --> 00:28:44,035 Speaker 1: And then a week after Stevie's birthday, Minee turned sixteen. 415 00:28:44,075 --> 00:28:46,515 Speaker 1: I've told you about mine. He's the rescue who had 416 00:28:46,515 --> 00:28:49,515 Speaker 1: outlived his human and they thought he had dementia, and 417 00:28:49,675 --> 00:28:51,195 Speaker 1: it turned out we had to take out all of 418 00:28:51,195 --> 00:28:53,635 Speaker 1: his teeth because they were rotten, and goodness, he really 419 00:28:53,635 --> 00:28:56,835 Speaker 1: didn't have dementia. He just had bad teeth. Once we 420 00:28:56,875 --> 00:29:00,155 Speaker 1: took them out, ninety percent of his fogging is cleared up, 421 00:29:00,995 --> 00:29:03,955 Speaker 1: and he's gained three pounds. And he takes the hard 422 00:29:04,035 --> 00:29:06,235 Speaker 1: treats and puts them in the water bowl and comes 423 00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:07,995 Speaker 1: back for them later and then pulls them out and 424 00:29:08,035 --> 00:29:10,195 Speaker 1: sucks on them like cough drops. And I don't know 425 00:29:10,195 --> 00:29:12,035 Speaker 1: if I know any people smart enough to do that. 426 00:29:12,355 --> 00:29:14,675 Speaker 1: And he is the best walker in the world. And 427 00:29:14,715 --> 00:29:18,115 Speaker 1: he leaps over the white stripes on the crosswalks, and 428 00:29:18,155 --> 00:29:19,915 Speaker 1: I thought he was confused, and then he did it 429 00:29:19,955 --> 00:29:22,515 Speaker 1: like sixteen times in one half hour walk, and I 430 00:29:22,595 --> 00:29:25,115 Speaker 1: realized he's doing it out of the sheer joy of 431 00:29:25,155 --> 00:29:27,315 Speaker 1: still being able to do it at the age of sixteen. 432 00:29:27,515 --> 00:29:30,395 Speaker 1: And he's now talking to me, and he understands much 433 00:29:30,435 --> 00:29:31,835 Speaker 1: of what I try to say to him, even though 434 00:29:31,835 --> 00:29:36,795 Speaker 1: he really only understands French. It's a long story, and 435 00:29:36,835 --> 00:29:43,195 Speaker 1: it all starts with Stevie eleven years ago. Because on 436 00:29:43,235 --> 00:29:48,795 Speaker 1: September thirtieth, twenty twelve, eleven years ago, not one word 437 00:29:48,995 --> 00:29:52,315 Speaker 1: of what I just said would have made any sense 438 00:29:52,915 --> 00:29:58,715 Speaker 1: to me. I had never had a dog, I'd had allergies, 439 00:29:58,875 --> 00:30:03,155 Speaker 1: I'd had travel, I'd had work. And then Olivia looked 440 00:30:03,195 --> 00:30:06,715 Speaker 1: at me and she said, I need a fix. On 441 00:30:06,795 --> 00:30:12,035 Speaker 1: September thirtieth, twenty twelve, my girlfriend's family dog was dying. 442 00:30:12,315 --> 00:30:16,715 Speaker 1: My girlfriend later, my ex girlfriend would not say that 443 00:30:16,915 --> 00:30:20,235 Speaker 1: the little dog was dying. Her folks would not say it. 444 00:30:20,355 --> 00:30:23,595 Speaker 1: A dog, Jack Russell Terrier was named Casey did her 445 00:30:23,635 --> 00:30:26,835 Speaker 1: best to be the only truthful one in the whole family. 446 00:30:27,715 --> 00:30:30,835 Speaker 1: She was moving purposely and unsteadily with every step, and 447 00:30:30,875 --> 00:30:33,035 Speaker 1: she was looking out at her world with a seeming 448 00:30:33,075 --> 00:30:37,595 Speaker 1: mixture of acceptance and sadness and regret that the one 449 00:30:37,675 --> 00:30:42,035 Speaker 1: time she really needed the bipeds to speak and act 450 00:30:42,315 --> 00:30:47,835 Speaker 1: for her, they would not. I just need for dogs, 451 00:30:47,875 --> 00:30:51,035 Speaker 1: not to mean sadness. Olivia said, just for a while, 452 00:30:51,715 --> 00:30:54,355 Speaker 1: can we go to that pet shop on Lex? I 453 00:30:54,475 --> 00:30:57,075 Speaker 1: mumbled that we could go, but that I had resisted 454 00:30:57,115 --> 00:31:00,715 Speaker 1: the dog entreaties of eleven girlfriends before her, and I 455 00:31:00,755 --> 00:31:05,035 Speaker 1: would successfully resist hers. I had always loved dogs, but 456 00:31:05,115 --> 00:31:08,115 Speaker 1: I was really allergic to them, and my doctors had 457 00:31:08,115 --> 00:31:11,675 Speaker 1: all said that even hypoallergenic dogs were a crap shoot. 458 00:31:12,235 --> 00:31:15,795 Speaker 1: She said, I do not want a dog. I am 459 00:31:15,835 --> 00:31:18,475 Speaker 1: not trying to convince you to get us a dog. 460 00:31:19,115 --> 00:31:21,955 Speaker 1: I just want to hold a puppy for a little while. 461 00:31:23,075 --> 00:31:25,435 Speaker 1: She paused, as she always did when she felt both 462 00:31:25,435 --> 00:31:28,315 Speaker 1: hopeless and angry at being at the mercy of feelings, 463 00:31:28,835 --> 00:31:32,115 Speaker 1: and she lapsed into the shrug emoji. As sappy as 464 00:31:32,155 --> 00:31:37,675 Speaker 1: that sounds, Olivia the girlfriend the former girlfriend, let me 465 00:31:37,675 --> 00:31:40,635 Speaker 1: make this easier on both of us. We'll call her TFGF. 466 00:31:40,715 --> 00:31:43,675 Speaker 1: The former girlfriend TFGF and I left for the pet 467 00:31:43,675 --> 00:31:45,995 Speaker 1: shop in midafternoon, and I told her my true fear 468 00:31:45,995 --> 00:31:50,075 Speaker 1: here that my native but dormant shared affinity with dogs 469 00:31:50,075 --> 00:31:53,355 Speaker 1: would all of a moment spring fully grown from my soul, 470 00:31:53,715 --> 00:31:57,035 Speaker 1: and I would blurt, just give me all of them. 471 00:31:57,555 --> 00:32:00,235 Speaker 1: I mean, what kind of life could I offer a dog? 472 00:32:01,115 --> 00:32:04,635 Speaker 1: I was on television and thus always in a television studio, 473 00:32:04,795 --> 00:32:07,755 Speaker 1: and thus never home for play or walks or just 474 00:32:07,795 --> 00:32:11,315 Speaker 1: the prevention of canine loneliness. I had a girlfriend who 475 00:32:11,355 --> 00:32:14,435 Speaker 1: lived out of town. Half the time, I was clueless 476 00:32:14,475 --> 00:32:17,715 Speaker 1: as to every practical aspect of the dog thing. I 477 00:32:17,795 --> 00:32:21,195 Speaker 1: had littered the continent with dead house plants, and I 478 00:32:21,275 --> 00:32:23,995 Speaker 1: no longer thought myself capable of pulling my ego out 479 00:32:23,995 --> 00:32:28,075 Speaker 1: of my backside sufficiently to take care of fish. I 480 00:32:28,115 --> 00:32:31,155 Speaker 1: had literally not had a pet of any kind since 481 00:32:31,275 --> 00:32:35,915 Speaker 1: nineteen sixty seven. I had come to terms with living 482 00:32:35,995 --> 00:32:39,795 Speaker 1: in a wistful, hazy world in which I might inadvertently 483 00:32:39,835 --> 00:32:42,955 Speaker 1: have a dog pal for a few moments, but almost 484 00:32:42,995 --> 00:32:45,435 Speaker 1: never indoors, and never without the pang of knowing that 485 00:32:45,475 --> 00:32:49,355 Speaker 1: the hello itself contained the start of the goodbye. And 486 00:32:49,435 --> 00:32:54,195 Speaker 1: I was allergic. I was allergic to the obvious big, furry, 487 00:32:54,195 --> 00:32:57,315 Speaker 1: friendly dogs, and I might be allergic to the ones 488 00:32:57,355 --> 00:33:01,235 Speaker 1: that were built as non allergic. And if I disobeyed 489 00:33:01,275 --> 00:33:05,875 Speaker 1: this immutable cannon, the buried tears of permanent exclusion might 490 00:33:05,915 --> 00:33:08,755 Speaker 1: be replaced by far worse ones of separation and loss. 491 00:33:08,955 --> 00:33:13,395 Speaker 1: Me I would get over it, probably, but without overvaluing 492 00:33:13,435 --> 00:33:16,315 Speaker 1: myself too much to betray the love of a dog 493 00:33:17,275 --> 00:33:24,155 Speaker 1: to send a dog back because of allergies. As TFGF 494 00:33:24,195 --> 00:33:27,555 Speaker 1: and I approached the shop, there was, as there almost 495 00:33:27,595 --> 00:33:31,995 Speaker 1: always is, there a small crowd undulating around it. Lexington 496 00:33:32,035 --> 00:33:35,795 Speaker 1: Avenue's narrow sidewalks make these human clots easier to form, 497 00:33:35,835 --> 00:33:39,035 Speaker 1: even late on the first Sunday of autumn. There is 498 00:33:39,075 --> 00:33:42,755 Speaker 1: also an obstacle course of grates and cellar doors and bikes, 499 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:46,635 Speaker 1: chained poles and parking meters and canopies for diners and 500 00:33:46,675 --> 00:33:50,795 Speaker 1: restaurants and mattress showrooms and other places. They're not quite seedy, 501 00:33:51,395 --> 00:33:56,075 Speaker 1: but also aren't quite your first choice. The uptown edges 502 00:33:56,075 --> 00:33:58,915 Speaker 1: of the grime and noise that constitute the maze of 503 00:33:58,955 --> 00:34:03,355 Speaker 1: fifty ninth Street Bridge approaches lend the place a congested 504 00:34:03,395 --> 00:34:07,475 Speaker 1: feel even when it's otherwise. We are three blocks up 505 00:34:07,515 --> 00:34:11,155 Speaker 1: from the trying just a little too hard merchandising of Bloomingdale's. 506 00:34:11,435 --> 00:34:14,835 Speaker 1: There are unwashed delivery trucks, double parked three hundred and 507 00:34:14,875 --> 00:34:17,515 Speaker 1: sixty five days a year, and then totally out of 508 00:34:17,515 --> 00:34:20,155 Speaker 1: place amid the prosaic trappings of a big city at 509 00:34:20,155 --> 00:34:24,915 Speaker 1: its most meh. There they are bouncing off each other, 510 00:34:25,275 --> 00:34:28,915 Speaker 1: tearing infinitely at other, tiny heads and tails and paws 511 00:34:29,155 --> 00:34:33,155 Speaker 1: doing a seeming pantomime of dismemberment. Their yips and the 512 00:34:33,235 --> 00:34:36,955 Speaker 1: crunch of the shredded cavorting paper are just audible through 513 00:34:36,955 --> 00:34:38,755 Speaker 1: the glass and over the din of the street. They 514 00:34:38,795 --> 00:34:42,835 Speaker 1: create an oasis of cute. And just in case you 515 00:34:42,915 --> 00:34:46,235 Speaker 1: can't tell what they are, there's this big Neon sign 516 00:34:46,355 --> 00:34:53,475 Speaker 1: above their street front window that reads puppies. Don't make 517 00:34:53,515 --> 00:34:57,075 Speaker 1: me go in, I pleaded. She reassured me. We'd go in. 518 00:34:57,195 --> 00:34:58,875 Speaker 1: She'd hold the dog. All I had to do was 519 00:34:58,915 --> 00:35:03,755 Speaker 1: take a picture. You don't understand. I reached for her hand. 520 00:35:03,955 --> 00:35:06,675 Speaker 1: What I'm trying to saying is I always wanted a dog, 521 00:35:06,755 --> 00:35:10,395 Speaker 1: but I could never have a dog. Just as the 522 00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:12,835 Speaker 1: door to the shop opened, she grabbed my arm. She 523 00:35:12,955 --> 00:35:16,235 Speaker 1: yanked hard, She swore, and she muttered, you'll survive. Man up. 524 00:35:17,235 --> 00:35:19,435 Speaker 1: Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't make 525 00:35:19,475 --> 00:35:22,515 Speaker 1: eye contact. Don't make eye contact. We were going towards 526 00:35:22,555 --> 00:35:25,875 Speaker 1: puppies and past puppies, and the appearance of a small 527 00:35:25,915 --> 00:35:28,275 Speaker 1: staircase to a training loft confirmed we were now going 528 00:35:28,395 --> 00:35:31,715 Speaker 1: under puppies. And in the deepest recesses of the shop, 529 00:35:31,755 --> 00:35:35,275 Speaker 1: there was a wall of puppies two hour right, three 530 00:35:35,275 --> 00:35:38,995 Speaker 1: cages high, six across, all a yellowish beige behind a 531 00:35:39,035 --> 00:35:42,155 Speaker 1: reddish brown for micah countertop, then a structural beam, and 532 00:35:42,195 --> 00:35:45,595 Speaker 1: then three cages high two across, then a corner with 533 00:35:45,635 --> 00:35:48,715 Speaker 1: a small visiting pen built into the countertop. Then right 534 00:35:48,755 --> 00:35:54,035 Speaker 1: in front of me the Hollywood squares of puppies three high, 535 00:35:54,315 --> 00:35:57,755 Speaker 1: three across, and all of their inmates, all nine of them, 536 00:35:57,835 --> 00:35:59,835 Speaker 1: staring at me and screaming at me and making eye 537 00:35:59,835 --> 00:36:05,795 Speaker 1: contact and saying, by esp take me home. A salesman 538 00:36:05,875 --> 00:36:09,555 Speaker 1: now introduced himself as Jeffrey, and Jeffrey asked if TFGF 539 00:36:10,155 --> 00:36:12,795 Speaker 1: had any particular dog she wanted him to bring to her. 540 00:36:13,595 --> 00:36:17,755 Speaker 1: Let me see the Maltese the girl. In that moment, 541 00:36:17,835 --> 00:36:20,955 Speaker 1: two things struck me. Firstly, this was my cue to 542 00:36:20,995 --> 00:36:22,875 Speaker 1: get the phone out and prepared to take the photo 543 00:36:22,915 --> 00:36:25,955 Speaker 1: of her with the puppy. Secondly, the dog, whom the 544 00:36:25,995 --> 00:36:30,395 Speaker 1: salesman was now temporarily liberating from the surprisingly spare cage, 545 00:36:30,835 --> 00:36:34,315 Speaker 1: was the only living soul inside that pet shop besides me, 546 00:36:34,355 --> 00:36:38,475 Speaker 1: who was not making any damn noise. Every other puppy 547 00:36:38,555 --> 00:36:41,475 Speaker 1: was perfecting its adolescent bark. The cats were making a 548 00:36:41,475 --> 00:36:45,275 Speaker 1: bewildering variety of noises, and was that a Norwegian blue 549 00:36:45,315 --> 00:36:50,435 Speaker 1: parrot squawk? Remarkable bird The Norwegian blue. Isn't it beautiful plumage? 550 00:36:50,475 --> 00:36:54,515 Speaker 1: This Maltese said nothing. She looked like her torso would 551 00:36:54,515 --> 00:36:56,555 Speaker 1: easily fit in one of my hands if she was 552 00:36:56,915 --> 00:36:59,675 Speaker 1: three pounds. A quarter of it was hair and half 553 00:36:59,675 --> 00:37:02,755 Speaker 1: of that was curled, and presumably somebody came by every 554 00:37:02,795 --> 00:37:04,795 Speaker 1: day to turn what sat atop her head into a 555 00:37:05,155 --> 00:37:08,275 Speaker 1: mohawk up top and a mullet in the back. Her 556 00:37:08,315 --> 00:37:10,915 Speaker 1: cage mate brother seemed a little bigger, but his eyes 557 00:37:10,955 --> 00:37:15,115 Speaker 1: were clearly smaller, and their ocular contrast was immediately visible, 558 00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:18,475 Speaker 1: even if you still had forlorn hopes of avoiding eye contact. 559 00:37:19,315 --> 00:37:25,995 Speaker 1: His shown hers were illuminated. He tried to get past 560 00:37:26,075 --> 00:37:28,995 Speaker 1: her into the salesman's arms. She simply lifted up her 561 00:37:29,035 --> 00:37:31,475 Speaker 1: head towards him, and it actually crossed my mind that 562 00:37:31,555 --> 00:37:33,475 Speaker 1: she looked like she was about to say, Hi, Jeffrey, 563 00:37:33,475 --> 00:37:36,795 Speaker 1: how are you today? He put her gently down in 564 00:37:36,795 --> 00:37:39,875 Speaker 1: the playpen at the right corner of the counter. TFGF 565 00:37:39,915 --> 00:37:42,875 Speaker 1: asked if she could pick the puppy up, and nodded 566 00:37:42,915 --> 00:37:46,435 Speaker 1: to me to get the camera ready. Honestly, Jeffrey said, 567 00:37:46,635 --> 00:37:48,915 Speaker 1: this is the sweetest dog we've had in here for months. 568 00:37:48,955 --> 00:37:51,355 Speaker 1: I say that every day to almost everybody, but this 569 00:37:51,395 --> 00:37:56,115 Speaker 1: time I'm actually not lying. TFGFF cradled the Maltese in 570 00:37:56,155 --> 00:37:58,835 Speaker 1: her arms, with the dog's head facing to my right. 571 00:37:59,355 --> 00:38:02,155 Speaker 1: I tapped the camera on the phone. My hand was 572 00:38:02,195 --> 00:38:05,355 Speaker 1: already shaking as I sent it up to DGF and 573 00:38:05,395 --> 00:38:08,155 Speaker 1: the puppy in the frame. The Maltese suddenly wiggled upright, 574 00:38:08,675 --> 00:38:13,075 Speaker 1: placed her front paws on my girlfriend's chest, and just 575 00:38:13,155 --> 00:38:15,995 Speaker 1: as I snapped the image, the dog reached up and 576 00:38:16,155 --> 00:38:21,875 Speaker 1: kissed my girlfriend on the lips. I am, on occasion, 577 00:38:22,235 --> 00:38:27,235 Speaker 1: completely incapable of remembering anything that happened in my entire 578 00:38:27,355 --> 00:38:34,555 Speaker 1: life before that moment. TFGF made the appropriate sounds of approval. 579 00:38:34,715 --> 00:38:38,315 Speaker 1: Jeffrey began discussing how little grooming the Maltese breed needs 580 00:38:38,635 --> 00:38:40,755 Speaker 1: and the great price he could give us, and even 581 00:38:40,755 --> 00:38:42,715 Speaker 1: as my head spun, it seemed silly to me that 582 00:38:42,795 --> 00:38:45,355 Speaker 1: he was calculating the tax on something that was obviously 583 00:38:45,715 --> 00:38:50,475 Speaker 1: timelessly and eternally priceless. TFGF said something about how we 584 00:38:50,515 --> 00:38:53,155 Speaker 1: needed a minute outside to discuss it, and she handed 585 00:38:53,155 --> 00:38:55,235 Speaker 1: the puppy back to Jeffrey, and the dog looked at 586 00:38:55,275 --> 00:38:57,395 Speaker 1: each each of us and as if she was about 587 00:38:57,435 --> 00:39:01,595 Speaker 1: to say nice to meet you. As the pup went 588 00:39:01,635 --> 00:39:04,675 Speaker 1: back up into the cage with her brother, something extraordinary happened. 589 00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:08,875 Speaker 1: The little girl was reaching her head up towards the 590 00:39:08,875 --> 00:39:12,915 Speaker 1: spout of the cage's water bottle with the same graceful 591 00:39:12,955 --> 00:39:16,795 Speaker 1: movement she had made to bestow that kiss on TFGF 592 00:39:17,195 --> 00:39:20,955 Speaker 1: when her brother puppy abruptly body slammed her out of 593 00:39:20,955 --> 00:39:24,035 Speaker 1: the way, and her tiny frame bounced off the side 594 00:39:24,075 --> 00:39:26,795 Speaker 1: of the cage. And then, to my shock and confusion, 595 00:39:27,155 --> 00:39:34,275 Speaker 1: a deep and threatening growl, a vengeful h reverberated throughout 596 00:39:34,315 --> 00:39:42,115 Speaker 1: the pet shop. The growl was coming from me. The 597 00:39:42,155 --> 00:39:45,755 Speaker 1: next sounds were from TFGF, My God, what's wrong with you? 598 00:39:46,435 --> 00:39:47,915 Speaker 1: I didn't know it at the time, but as we 599 00:39:47,995 --> 00:39:50,355 Speaker 1: turned to fight our way back out through the shop 600 00:39:50,435 --> 00:39:53,595 Speaker 1: to the street, I evidently half skidded into a display 601 00:39:53,635 --> 00:39:56,835 Speaker 1: full of chew toys. They nearly toppled to the floor. 602 00:39:56,955 --> 00:40:00,075 Speaker 1: I nearly toppled to the floor. I couldn't see, but 603 00:40:00,155 --> 00:40:02,355 Speaker 1: I didn't recognize my own tears until they hit the 604 00:40:02,435 --> 00:40:05,755 Speaker 1: edges of my lips. Somehow I managed to say it again, 605 00:40:05,795 --> 00:40:08,435 Speaker 1: this time in despair. I always wanted a dog, but 606 00:40:08,515 --> 00:40:13,235 Speaker 1: I could never have one. She suddenly realized what had happened. 607 00:40:13,235 --> 00:40:16,515 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm an asshole. TFGF was now 608 00:40:16,555 --> 00:40:19,435 Speaker 1: holding me upright and steering me towards the door to 609 00:40:19,515 --> 00:40:21,235 Speaker 1: the street. I didn't listen to you. I'm an asshole. 610 00:40:21,235 --> 00:40:22,795 Speaker 1: I'm an asshole. You told me. I didn't believe you. 611 00:40:22,835 --> 00:40:26,995 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. Well now the stories came pouring out, 612 00:40:27,115 --> 00:40:29,915 Speaker 1: all jumbled, one on top of the other. Tiny, the 613 00:40:30,155 --> 00:40:33,435 Speaker 1: Saint Bernard at the Katz and Steins. He only wanted 614 00:40:33,435 --> 00:40:35,995 Speaker 1: to embrace me. He wasn't trying to eat me. And 615 00:40:36,035 --> 00:40:38,635 Speaker 1: the mcconnon's mutt next door, Boots used to come sit 616 00:40:38,715 --> 00:40:41,075 Speaker 1: on my lap, and Tiny didn't make me sneeze. He 617 00:40:41,115 --> 00:40:43,315 Speaker 1: only scared me. And the mcconnons had three boys and 618 00:40:43,355 --> 00:40:45,555 Speaker 1: a mother who baked cookies by the car load. Lot 619 00:40:45,675 --> 00:40:47,755 Speaker 1: and Boots never left their side, and I was always 620 00:40:47,755 --> 00:40:50,075 Speaker 1: at their house. And if I was allergic, how was 621 00:40:50,115 --> 00:40:52,115 Speaker 1: it that I never once had a problem with Boots? 622 00:40:52,155 --> 00:40:53,715 Speaker 1: How in the hell did that work? Huh? And what 623 00:40:53,755 --> 00:40:55,915 Speaker 1: about Vladimir or the stray cat my sister found. He 624 00:40:55,995 --> 00:40:57,875 Speaker 1: used to live in the garage and behaved like a 625 00:40:57,915 --> 00:40:59,715 Speaker 1: dog and like to be carried around like a baby, 626 00:40:59,715 --> 00:41:02,875 Speaker 1: and how allergic was I had beautiful, beautiful little Maltese 627 00:41:02,875 --> 00:41:05,075 Speaker 1: reach up and kissed you on the mouth. One time 628 00:41:05,115 --> 00:41:07,395 Speaker 1: I took my dad's movie camera to the mcconnon's house. 629 00:41:07,515 --> 00:41:09,715 Speaker 1: Half of the film was of Boots and what if 630 00:41:09,755 --> 00:41:11,635 Speaker 1: I went back and got the allergy shots again? And 631 00:41:11,675 --> 00:41:13,755 Speaker 1: it was my mother who said she was really allergic, 632 00:41:13,955 --> 00:41:15,715 Speaker 1: so I must be too, And what's the use? The 633 00:41:15,715 --> 00:41:18,155 Speaker 1: little Maltese was perfect. The next person who sees her 634 00:41:18,195 --> 00:41:19,795 Speaker 1: will snap her up in an instant. And I asked 635 00:41:19,795 --> 00:41:21,795 Speaker 1: them just to let me try a little dog who 636 00:41:21,795 --> 00:41:23,715 Speaker 1: wouldn't shed. The only thing my mother would let me 637 00:41:23,755 --> 00:41:26,995 Speaker 1: have were lizards, and I could take a zertech every day. 638 00:41:27,075 --> 00:41:29,555 Speaker 1: I'm so sorry, Tiny, I didn't realize I never said 639 00:41:29,555 --> 00:41:32,395 Speaker 1: goodbye to Boots. Maltese is gone. She's gone. She's gone, 640 00:41:32,435 --> 00:41:34,195 Speaker 1: and she's my dog. I know what. I could feel it. 641 00:41:34,315 --> 00:41:42,595 Speaker 1: She's my dog and she's gone. What happened next? Beggar's fiction. 642 00:41:43,435 --> 00:41:53,835 Speaker 1: It involves Rudy Giuliani back to the number one story 643 00:41:53,835 --> 00:41:55,635 Speaker 1: on the Countdown and the day I fell in love 644 00:41:55,675 --> 00:41:58,235 Speaker 1: with a dog for the first time and my girlfriend, 645 00:41:58,395 --> 00:42:03,275 Speaker 1: the former girlfriend TFGF and I left the puppy in 646 00:42:03,355 --> 00:42:09,035 Speaker 1: the pet shop. TFGF and I were walking me mid meltdown, 647 00:42:09,555 --> 00:42:13,515 Speaker 1: somehow now nearing the Park Avenue Armory, one block west 648 00:42:13,555 --> 00:42:15,955 Speaker 1: and four blocks north of the pet shop that I 649 00:42:15,995 --> 00:42:19,555 Speaker 1: thought we were still in. To her credit, TFGF had 650 00:42:19,635 --> 00:42:22,595 Speaker 1: kept me from throwing myself into traffic or dissolving into 651 00:42:22,595 --> 00:42:27,475 Speaker 1: a puddle on sixty second Street. The overwhelming sensation I 652 00:42:27,515 --> 00:42:29,955 Speaker 1: had was not one of having left the tiny puppy 653 00:42:29,995 --> 00:42:32,315 Speaker 1: in the shop, but of having left a part of 654 00:42:32,355 --> 00:42:37,275 Speaker 1: myself there that was my dog. And what was worse 655 00:42:37,435 --> 00:42:39,435 Speaker 1: was she was obviously going to be taken by somebody 656 00:42:39,515 --> 00:42:41,635 Speaker 1: else even before I got back there, even if we 657 00:42:41,715 --> 00:42:45,555 Speaker 1: turned around right away. Who could resist her? I certainly hadn't. 658 00:42:46,155 --> 00:42:49,675 Speaker 1: My chaotic stream of consciousness monologue paused only when I 659 00:42:49,715 --> 00:42:52,835 Speaker 1: had no choice but to shut up and gasp for breath, 660 00:42:53,315 --> 00:42:55,915 Speaker 1: and the comments with which TFGF tried to soothe me 661 00:42:55,955 --> 00:43:00,275 Speaker 1: in these moments were self abnegating and solemn. She had 662 00:43:00,315 --> 00:43:02,715 Speaker 1: talked me off the limb of my certainty that the 663 00:43:02,755 --> 00:43:05,235 Speaker 1: dog had already been sold, and was now steering me 664 00:43:05,315 --> 00:43:08,755 Speaker 1: back towards sanity. I had to, she would say, later 665 00:43:08,835 --> 00:43:12,115 Speaker 1: you were having a breakdown. She said we should go home, 666 00:43:12,155 --> 00:43:14,795 Speaker 1: and if I wanted to talk seriously about the practicalities 667 00:43:14,795 --> 00:43:17,595 Speaker 1: of owning the dog, we could do that and still 668 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,475 Speaker 1: get the puppy the next morning, even if it meant 669 00:43:19,515 --> 00:43:23,635 Speaker 1: delaying her departure for DC. Don't worry. I'm sure she's 670 00:43:23,675 --> 00:43:25,955 Speaker 1: still there. They were getting ready to close. She'll be 671 00:43:25,995 --> 00:43:30,515 Speaker 1: there in the morning. I exhaled, and then I repanicked. 672 00:43:31,155 --> 00:43:36,195 Speaker 1: She's she's I sniffed anew and the tears resumed. She's 673 00:43:36,235 --> 00:43:38,795 Speaker 1: in that cage with that brother of hers in the 674 00:43:38,835 --> 00:43:44,275 Speaker 1: basement somewhere. Before TFGF could answer, and I swear this 675 00:43:44,395 --> 00:43:50,195 Speaker 1: is true, Rudy Giuliani spilled down the stairs from the 676 00:43:50,355 --> 00:43:53,915 Speaker 1: armory we were passing. A cop suddenly appeared from a 677 00:43:53,915 --> 00:43:56,755 Speaker 1: different nowhere and put out an arm and firmly asked 678 00:43:56,835 --> 00:44:00,795 Speaker 1: us to stop walking, and Julianiley scuttled rodent like into 679 00:44:00,835 --> 00:44:04,315 Speaker 1: a waiting car. A wife was with him. I did 680 00:44:04,355 --> 00:44:07,595 Speaker 1: not I do not know which number. The driver was 681 00:44:07,635 --> 00:44:10,195 Speaker 1: already closing the door behind them when I shouted it, 682 00:44:10,555 --> 00:44:12,635 Speaker 1: how come my dog has to spend the night in 683 00:44:12,635 --> 00:44:15,515 Speaker 1: a cage while that ass hat is allowed to roam 684 00:44:15,515 --> 00:44:20,675 Speaker 1: around this city without a leash on him. Later that evening, 685 00:44:20,715 --> 00:44:23,155 Speaker 1: TFGF said that was the first moment she thought we 686 00:44:23,315 --> 00:44:28,115 Speaker 1: might just get home safe and sound. After all, it 687 00:44:28,195 --> 00:44:30,395 Speaker 1: was not ten more minutes back to my apartment, and 688 00:44:30,435 --> 00:44:32,835 Speaker 1: we walked it in silence. Now I had long since 689 00:44:32,915 --> 00:44:37,075 Speaker 1: saturated my handkerchief and some tissues TFGF had in her pockets. 690 00:44:37,675 --> 00:44:41,875 Speaker 1: I was breathing deeply and restoratively. Now the sniffle frequency 691 00:44:41,915 --> 00:44:45,595 Speaker 1: reduced to once or twice per block, and my mind 692 00:44:45,715 --> 00:44:49,395 Speaker 1: was crowded with the dogs I had known, Boots, Tiny, 693 00:44:50,235 --> 00:44:54,075 Speaker 1: Vladimir the Cat, even tfgf's little Casey dying out in 694 00:44:54,155 --> 00:44:57,035 Speaker 1: Jersey and unaware of the seismic events which she had 695 00:44:57,075 --> 00:45:00,515 Speaker 1: set in motion. I was thinking of other dogs. To 696 00:45:00,635 --> 00:45:02,915 Speaker 1: all of the dogs in all of the stories of 697 00:45:02,995 --> 00:45:05,915 Speaker 1: James Thurber that I read on TV Friday night, I 698 00:45:05,995 --> 00:45:08,795 Speaker 1: had smiled along with his poetic descriptions of them, but 699 00:45:09,075 --> 00:45:14,955 Speaker 1: never confessed I loved them as he must have. There 700 00:45:15,035 --> 00:45:17,275 Speaker 1: was Samantha, who my late friend Bruce Hagen used to 701 00:45:17,315 --> 00:45:20,435 Speaker 1: bring everywhere, including our college radio station newsroom, the first 702 00:45:20,475 --> 00:45:23,875 Speaker 1: really big dog who did not frighten me. My great 703 00:45:23,915 --> 00:45:28,395 Speaker 1: aunt's Yorky whose gas was so potent that the Christmas 704 00:45:28,475 --> 00:45:30,675 Speaker 1: just before I turned nine, my great uncle said he 705 00:45:30,715 --> 00:45:33,435 Speaker 1: was convinced she had been a German terror weapon at 706 00:45:33,515 --> 00:45:35,955 Speaker 1: Chateau Terry in the First World War, and he and 707 00:45:35,995 --> 00:45:38,555 Speaker 1: I had bonded because I knew what Chateau Terry was. 708 00:45:39,795 --> 00:45:42,515 Speaker 1: There was Nellie McNally, the only dog that any of 709 00:45:42,555 --> 00:45:45,435 Speaker 1: my sontimes out of town girlfriends ever had actually put 710 00:45:45,435 --> 00:45:48,555 Speaker 1: on the phone with me. In my mind, they all 711 00:45:48,595 --> 00:45:53,115 Speaker 1: stood before me, all lined up, all quiet, smiling, all 712 00:45:53,155 --> 00:45:56,675 Speaker 1: with the kindest type of I told you so, dummy 713 00:45:57,635 --> 00:46:02,475 Speaker 1: on their wonderful faces, and dozens more behind them, vague 714 00:46:02,515 --> 00:46:06,075 Speaker 1: shapes and sizes, who belonged to neighbors or co workers, 715 00:46:06,155 --> 00:46:08,635 Speaker 1: pastor who were just chance encounters on the streets of 716 00:46:08,635 --> 00:46:13,595 Speaker 1: any of a dozen cities decades before. No, I'm sorry, 717 00:46:13,675 --> 00:46:16,635 Speaker 1: she said, I shouldn't have been that selfish, But now 718 00:46:16,675 --> 00:46:18,915 Speaker 1: I disagreed with her, and as I unlocked the apartment door, 719 00:46:18,915 --> 00:46:21,035 Speaker 1: I began to tell her of the dogs I had 720 00:46:21,075 --> 00:46:23,515 Speaker 1: just been communing with in my mind, and what had 721 00:46:23,555 --> 00:46:27,595 Speaker 1: suddenly become necessary, urgent, inevitable, and perfect, but about which 722 00:46:27,635 --> 00:46:30,275 Speaker 1: I needed as much detail as I could in as 723 00:46:30,315 --> 00:46:35,235 Speaker 1: short a period as possible. TFGF tried, well, you just 724 00:46:35,355 --> 00:46:38,515 Speaker 1: take the dog wherever you can. My parents have been 725 00:46:38,555 --> 00:46:40,635 Speaker 1: saying this a lot lately. Now they regret not doing 726 00:46:40,675 --> 00:46:45,675 Speaker 1: more things with Casey, not adventures, not kayaking, just taking 727 00:46:45,715 --> 00:46:47,715 Speaker 1: her with them, or going out in the yard, or 728 00:46:47,755 --> 00:46:50,955 Speaker 1: just holding her while they watched TV. You just let 729 00:46:50,955 --> 00:46:57,475 Speaker 1: the dog in. We went through topic after topic, cleaning, training, handling, 730 00:46:57,595 --> 00:47:02,995 Speaker 1: poop walks, food, puppy sitters, moving books off ground level shelves, discipline, 731 00:47:02,995 --> 00:47:05,795 Speaker 1: and most importantly of all, of backup plan in case 732 00:47:06,115 --> 00:47:10,595 Speaker 1: this epiphany was false and or I was still allergic 733 00:47:10,755 --> 00:47:15,995 Speaker 1: or terrified or incoonfident or all three. I don't think 734 00:47:16,035 --> 00:47:18,395 Speaker 1: it'll take much to convince my parents to take her. 735 00:47:18,435 --> 00:47:23,195 Speaker 1: I mean, even after Casey recovers and I can take 736 00:47:23,195 --> 00:47:25,635 Speaker 1: her with me to DC tomorrow, I'll bring her back 737 00:47:25,675 --> 00:47:27,635 Speaker 1: next weekend. So you can get the apartment ready, and 738 00:47:27,795 --> 00:47:30,035 Speaker 1: you can get you ready, and you don't have to 739 00:47:30,035 --> 00:47:33,835 Speaker 1: go in at the deep end right away, I interrupted 740 00:47:33,835 --> 00:47:37,475 Speaker 1: her with a kiss, Let's go back there before they close. 741 00:47:37,915 --> 00:47:41,395 Speaker 1: I don't want to wait till morning. I'm still terrified 742 00:47:41,715 --> 00:47:46,595 Speaker 1: somebody else will realize how extraordinary she is. Unexpectedly I 743 00:47:46,675 --> 00:47:48,915 Speaker 1: had a moment of doubt. At this point, this isn't 744 00:47:48,995 --> 00:47:52,435 Speaker 1: just me having a breakdown, right, I mean, she is extraordinary. 745 00:47:52,595 --> 00:47:55,235 Speaker 1: I'm having a breakdown, and she is extraordinary, isn't she. 746 00:47:56,195 --> 00:47:58,555 Speaker 1: TFGF stopped being nice and now for the first time, 747 00:47:58,635 --> 00:48:00,475 Speaker 1: looked at me like I'd just gone crazy, even though 748 00:48:00,515 --> 00:48:03,195 Speaker 1: I just had gone crazy. Obviously, She said that was 749 00:48:03,235 --> 00:48:07,875 Speaker 1: a real kiss. The pet shop had stayed open, partly 750 00:48:07,955 --> 00:48:11,795 Speaker 1: because TFGF phoned them as we hit the street outside 751 00:48:11,795 --> 00:48:15,715 Speaker 1: of the apartment building, and partly because they knew you 752 00:48:15,755 --> 00:48:19,675 Speaker 1: were coming back. Jeffrey said, you just see it sometimes. Also, 753 00:48:19,715 --> 00:48:25,515 Speaker 1: you seemed kind of emotional. TFGFF helpfully mentioned that I'd 754 00:48:25,555 --> 00:48:29,315 Speaker 1: had a breakdown. They had all the paraphernalia ready, a 755 00:48:29,315 --> 00:48:33,075 Speaker 1: little aquabed, a series of attached gates that could be 756 00:48:33,155 --> 00:48:36,035 Speaker 1: used as a pen or a barrier, a small pink blanket, 757 00:48:36,075 --> 00:48:38,635 Speaker 1: a bag of training pads and the plastic pad holder, 758 00:48:38,915 --> 00:48:42,395 Speaker 1: enough dry food to last twelve to fourteen months, some 759 00:48:42,475 --> 00:48:45,595 Speaker 1: horrific wet food that looked like a discarded early design 760 00:48:45,675 --> 00:48:48,715 Speaker 1: for liverwurst, a few chew toys, a bright pink harness 761 00:48:48,715 --> 00:48:51,035 Speaker 1: and a leash as light as a ribbon, A black 762 00:48:51,075 --> 00:48:54,755 Speaker 1: carrying bag and paperwork with the puppies family tree, which, 763 00:48:54,755 --> 00:48:57,595 Speaker 1: to my astonishment, stretched back beyond her birth one week 764 00:48:57,675 --> 00:49:01,555 Speaker 1: shive three months before, through the six preceding generations, all 765 00:49:01,595 --> 00:49:07,355 Speaker 1: the way back to six entire years early. In addition 766 00:49:07,355 --> 00:49:09,355 Speaker 1: to all this, they could have included a moped, a 767 00:49:09,395 --> 00:49:12,555 Speaker 1: stock portfolio to guarantee your college education, and I'm all 768 00:49:12,635 --> 00:49:15,995 Speaker 1: tease sized typewriter with a twenty year supply of replacement ribbons, 769 00:49:16,035 --> 00:49:19,755 Speaker 1: and I would have also bought them. Very nice lady 770 00:49:19,795 --> 00:49:22,475 Speaker 1: named Ellie tried to train me to be a dog 771 00:49:22,475 --> 00:49:25,235 Speaker 1: owner in about ninety four seconds and handed me a 772 00:49:25,315 --> 00:49:28,155 Speaker 1: voucher for a vet and a checklist of stuff to do. 773 00:49:28,595 --> 00:49:30,915 Speaker 1: I signed a credit card bill. I think I used 774 00:49:30,915 --> 00:49:33,955 Speaker 1: my own name. I absolved myself of the guilt of 775 00:49:33,995 --> 00:49:36,875 Speaker 1: not getting a sheltered dog because I was allergic and 776 00:49:36,955 --> 00:49:39,715 Speaker 1: kind of had to go the shop route. Plus I 777 00:49:39,795 --> 00:49:41,795 Speaker 1: was not looking for a dog. I had actually fallen 778 00:49:41,835 --> 00:49:44,875 Speaker 1: in love at first sight with this dog. And lastly, 779 00:49:44,915 --> 00:49:47,435 Speaker 1: because no matter how the obvious and often tragic flaws 780 00:49:47,435 --> 00:49:49,715 Speaker 1: in this system, there was no arguing with the fact 781 00:49:49,755 --> 00:49:53,435 Speaker 1: that those dogs who came from a pet shop had 782 00:49:53,475 --> 00:49:55,275 Speaker 1: as much of a right to a happy life as 783 00:49:55,315 --> 00:49:59,235 Speaker 1: any other dog. At that moment, they produced her from 784 00:49:59,275 --> 00:50:01,355 Speaker 1: the back room behind the block of cages where we 785 00:50:01,435 --> 00:50:04,555 Speaker 1: had first seen her. Her curls had been fluffed up 786 00:50:04,915 --> 00:50:08,315 Speaker 1: and her hair freshly brushed. It would be lovely to 787 00:50:08,355 --> 00:50:11,075 Speaker 1: say she made eye contact them across the shop floor, 788 00:50:11,395 --> 00:50:13,915 Speaker 1: or was aware of our presence, or yipped happily at 789 00:50:13,955 --> 00:50:17,115 Speaker 1: the sight of me, and it would be completely untrue. 790 00:50:17,195 --> 00:50:21,315 Speaker 1: The little Maltese calmly scanned the room, only occasionally glancing 791 00:50:21,395 --> 00:50:23,475 Speaker 1: up at the manager who carried her, and not once 792 00:50:23,595 --> 00:50:27,675 Speaker 1: at us, until she was, without ceremony or comment, handed 793 00:50:27,755 --> 00:50:33,035 Speaker 1: to me, whereupon she immediately twisted out of my trembling hands, 794 00:50:33,715 --> 00:50:36,675 Speaker 1: stuck her front paws on my chest, and reached up 795 00:50:36,715 --> 00:50:40,115 Speaker 1: to give me a kiss on the lips, and then another, 796 00:50:40,795 --> 00:50:43,915 Speaker 1: and a third, and my sunglasses hid the tears that 797 00:50:43,955 --> 00:50:46,955 Speaker 1: welled up again. I managed to ask if they all 798 00:50:46,955 --> 00:50:51,315 Speaker 1: did that. No, came the answer from that salesman, Jeffrey. Honestly, 799 00:50:51,915 --> 00:50:54,875 Speaker 1: like I told you, sweetest puff we've had here in months, 800 00:50:54,995 --> 00:50:57,955 Speaker 1: loves people, loves people. I'm sad to see her go. 801 00:51:00,595 --> 00:51:03,115 Speaker 1: I marveled, and how light she was, and yet how 802 00:51:03,235 --> 00:51:06,795 Speaker 1: articulated on strong her body was. Her eyes were far 803 00:51:06,835 --> 00:51:10,035 Speaker 1: more beautiful than I had realized, oversized even for a puppy, 804 00:51:10,035 --> 00:51:13,355 Speaker 1: almost no white visible, the reflection off the deep brown 805 00:51:13,435 --> 00:51:18,235 Speaker 1: irises almost iridescent. And more astonishingly, this little soul, who 806 00:51:18,355 --> 00:51:22,075 Speaker 1: was about two hundred and twelfth my age, at about 807 00:51:22,115 --> 00:51:25,155 Speaker 1: one eighty seventh my weight, and who had a great 808 00:51:25,395 --> 00:51:29,035 Speaker 1: great great great grandmother born in two thousand and six, 809 00:51:29,635 --> 00:51:33,035 Speaker 1: when my great great great great grandmother was born in 810 00:51:33,075 --> 00:51:37,675 Speaker 1: like eighteen hundred, she was meeting and holding my gaze 811 00:51:37,715 --> 00:51:41,075 Speaker 1: with her own. Whatever I was seeing in her eyes, 812 00:51:41,235 --> 00:51:44,435 Speaker 1: whatever the inner being I was actually processing, she seemed 813 00:51:44,475 --> 00:51:48,395 Speaker 1: to be doing her equivalent vetting. I gave her a 814 00:51:48,395 --> 00:51:50,715 Speaker 1: little kiss, and was by now not surprised when she 815 00:51:50,835 --> 00:51:53,995 Speaker 1: kissed me again. The little tongue poked out a fraction 816 00:51:54,035 --> 00:51:55,875 Speaker 1: of an inch, just enough so any one of us dumb, 817 00:51:55,995 --> 00:51:59,115 Speaker 1: unsettled bipeds could tell she meant it. And then she 818 00:51:59,235 --> 00:52:02,435 Speaker 1: relaxed from her upright pose and settled back into my arms, 819 00:52:02,915 --> 00:52:05,395 Speaker 1: her head in the crook of my right elbow, in 820 00:52:05,435 --> 00:52:08,155 Speaker 1: an attitude I would soon discover she would repeat every 821 00:52:08,435 --> 00:52:14,195 Speaker 1: time I ever picked her up. A couple hours later, 822 00:52:15,675 --> 00:52:20,315 Speaker 1: the name came to me her haircut. It was Stevie 823 00:52:20,435 --> 00:52:37,795 Speaker 1: Nix's haircut. I named her Stevie. I've done all the 824 00:52:37,835 --> 00:52:41,075 Speaker 1: damage I can do here. Wait a minute, hold on, 825 00:52:41,275 --> 00:52:45,275 Speaker 1: let's just let's stop the music just for a second. Stevie, 826 00:52:46,355 --> 00:52:48,955 Speaker 1: you want to treat? You been a good girl lately. 827 00:52:49,915 --> 00:52:51,715 Speaker 1: I mean we didn't mention your birthday on the air. 828 00:52:51,715 --> 00:52:53,235 Speaker 1: I'm very sorry about that. Do you want to treat? 829 00:52:54,115 --> 00:52:59,355 Speaker 1: We'll say something. Stevie, you want to treat? Come on, 830 00:53:00,435 --> 00:53:03,435 Speaker 1: say that again? Okay? Do you want to tell them 831 00:53:03,435 --> 00:53:08,435 Speaker 1: about physical therapy? Stevie couldn't walk three months ago. She 832 00:53:08,515 --> 00:53:10,555 Speaker 1: had had a problem with both of her back knees. 833 00:53:10,875 --> 00:53:13,315 Speaker 1: She tore an acl and she had an immune disease, 834 00:53:13,675 --> 00:53:16,435 Speaker 1: and these things combined and made it impossible for her 835 00:53:16,435 --> 00:53:18,515 Speaker 1: to walk. And she has been going to physical therapy 836 00:53:18,555 --> 00:53:21,115 Speaker 1: at the Animal Medical Center ever since. She's learned how 837 00:53:21,115 --> 00:53:26,035 Speaker 1: to swim. She gets massages and she gets laser treatments 838 00:53:26,595 --> 00:53:29,155 Speaker 1: every week and she has a great time. And this 839 00:53:29,195 --> 00:53:31,275 Speaker 1: is the hospital that she has always treated as if 840 00:53:31,275 --> 00:53:33,755 Speaker 1: it were a spa. She has a very high threshold 841 00:53:33,755 --> 00:53:38,195 Speaker 1: for pain. So through cancer treatments and surgery and half 842 00:53:38,195 --> 00:53:40,875 Speaker 1: a dozen other things that have gone wrong. She's always 843 00:53:40,915 --> 00:53:43,755 Speaker 1: kept a smile on her face because they've treated her 844 00:53:43,835 --> 00:53:46,035 Speaker 1: so well there, and she's had such a good time. 845 00:53:46,395 --> 00:53:48,715 Speaker 1: She's always acted like it was a spa. Well here 846 00:53:48,755 --> 00:53:52,875 Speaker 1: it is after ten years of going there. They give 847 00:53:52,875 --> 00:53:55,515 Speaker 1: her spa treatments. They put her in the water, They 848 00:53:55,515 --> 00:53:57,715 Speaker 1: blow dry her hair. They often trim her nails to 849 00:53:57,755 --> 00:54:00,315 Speaker 1: make sure that they get the whole imprint of her 850 00:54:00,355 --> 00:54:02,395 Speaker 1: feet right, to make sure her gait is okay, and 851 00:54:02,515 --> 00:54:05,315 Speaker 1: she's regained the ability to walk. She goes a swim, 852 00:54:05,515 --> 00:54:09,315 Speaker 1: she goes in an underwater treadmill to work out. As 853 00:54:09,355 --> 00:54:12,155 Speaker 1: I said, they use lasers on her knees, and then 854 00:54:12,195 --> 00:54:14,395 Speaker 1: they end the whole thing with doing her hair and 855 00:54:14,435 --> 00:54:18,355 Speaker 1: giving her a massage. It's a spa. She was right, 856 00:54:19,555 --> 00:54:22,475 Speaker 1: My girl, Stevie eleven years old and the anniversary coming 857 00:54:22,555 --> 00:54:24,635 Speaker 1: up too. All right, you were good enough to sit 858 00:54:24,675 --> 00:54:26,955 Speaker 1: through this. You want that treat? Now say it again 859 00:54:26,995 --> 00:54:29,915 Speaker 1: one more time. You want this treet say it. You 860 00:54:29,955 --> 00:54:31,675 Speaker 1: don't have to sit, you don't have to be quiet. 861 00:54:31,875 --> 00:54:34,715 Speaker 1: She's sitting the one time she's sitting at being quiet. 862 00:54:35,035 --> 00:54:41,395 Speaker 1: Say something, Do you want this treat? Yes or no? Yes? Yes, yes, 863 00:54:42,515 --> 00:54:45,555 Speaker 1: Well you're twirling but say yes, do you want this treat? 864 00:54:46,355 --> 00:54:50,155 Speaker 1: All right? Thank you very much. All right, you've indulged 865 00:54:50,195 --> 00:55:09,395 Speaker 1: me long enough. Okay, remember celebrate Stevie Day responsibly. Please 866 00:55:09,435 --> 00:55:15,275 Speaker 1: adopt no more than two dogs, all right, three, but 867 00:55:15,315 --> 00:55:19,835 Speaker 1: no more than three? All right. Four. I've done all 868 00:55:19,875 --> 00:55:21,755 Speaker 1: the damage I can do here. Thank you for listening. 869 00:55:21,755 --> 00:55:24,315 Speaker 1: Countdown has come to you from the Vin Scully Studios 870 00:55:24,755 --> 00:55:28,355 Speaker 1: at the Olderman Broadcasting Empire in New York in the 871 00:55:28,395 --> 00:55:32,515 Speaker 1: Stevie Building. The music you heard was for the most part, arranged, produced, 872 00:55:32,555 --> 00:55:35,315 Speaker 1: and performed by Countdown musical directors Brian Ray and John 873 00:55:35,315 --> 00:55:39,075 Speaker 1: Phillip Schanel. Brian Ray handled the guitars, bass, and drums, 874 00:55:39,315 --> 00:55:41,995 Speaker 1: and John Phillip Schanel did the orchestration and keyboards. And 875 00:55:42,075 --> 00:55:45,915 Speaker 1: it was all produced by Tko Brothers. Other music, including 876 00:55:45,955 --> 00:55:48,715 Speaker 1: other Beethoven tunes, arranged and performed by the group No 877 00:55:48,835 --> 00:55:52,755 Speaker 1: Horns Allowed. The sports music is courtesy of ESPN Incorporated. 878 00:55:52,795 --> 00:55:55,075 Speaker 1: It was written by Mitch Warren Davis. We call it 879 00:55:55,115 --> 00:55:59,035 Speaker 1: the Olderman theme from ESPN two. Our satirical and pithy 880 00:55:59,115 --> 00:56:02,715 Speaker 1: musical comments are by Nancy Faust, the best baseball stadium 881 00:56:02,755 --> 00:56:05,155 Speaker 1: organist ever. I aren't out today. He was my friend 882 00:56:05,235 --> 00:56:07,995 Speaker 1: Jonathan Banks from breaking bad. Everything else was pretty much 883 00:56:08,035 --> 00:56:10,915 Speaker 1: my fault. So that's countdown for this, the nine hundred 884 00:56:10,915 --> 00:56:14,595 Speaker 1: and ninety seventh day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup 885 00:56:14,635 --> 00:56:17,515 Speaker 1: against the democratically elected government of the United States. Convict 886 00:56:17,595 --> 00:56:21,315 Speaker 1: him now while we still can. The next scheduled countdown 887 00:56:21,395 --> 00:56:24,995 Speaker 1: is Tuesday. Bulletin's as the news warrants, or if I 888 00:56:25,035 --> 00:56:27,515 Speaker 1: feel like we really have to celebrate the one thousandth 889 00:56:27,635 --> 00:56:30,875 Speaker 1: day since Donald Trump's first attempted coup in any event, 890 00:56:30,995 --> 00:56:33,555 Speaker 1: till then, I'm Keith Oldermman. Good morning, good afternoon, goodnight, 891 00:56:34,155 --> 00:56:35,115 Speaker 1: and good luck. 892 00:56:39,835 --> 00:56:43,875 Speaker 2: Is a kazahstani Oglia Gark. 893 00:56:43,835 --> 00:56:47,795 Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olriman is a production of iHeartRadio. For 894 00:56:47,955 --> 00:56:52,875 Speaker 1: more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 895 00:56:53,155 --> 00:56:55,115 Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.