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Speaker 1: Bees are us Rory's choice weapon in any situation.

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Speaker 2: I've got some of my pocket right now.

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Speaker 1: Gampsy media charge.

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Speaker 2: Rory, you strike me as someone who maybe doesn't have

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Speaker 2: the best relationship with authority figures. Is that true?

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Speaker 1: So you think I'm a little bit of a badass,

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Speaker 1: kind of bad boy plays by his own rules. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I think that's pretty accurate.

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Speaker 2: How's your relationship with landlords, banks, or the various real

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Speaker 2: estate powers that be?

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Speaker 1: I think I have great relationships with all three of those.

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Speaker 2: So are you saying you've never fallen so behind on

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Speaker 2: your mortgage that you had to procure a hive of

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Speaker 2: bees to attack the sheriffs when they came to a victory.

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Speaker 2: I'm not saying yes or no, because this week we

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Speaker 2: have an unbelievable tale of harnessing the power of nature

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Speaker 2: to foil law enforce nice as well as a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of fascinating stuff about bees. Can you feel the buzz, Rory?

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Speaker 1: I can feel it in the air, I can hear it.

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Speaker 2: More on creatures versus Landlords, Have of the Break. Hello,

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Speaker 2: and welcome back to Crime List, the podcast that celebrates

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Speaker 2: the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals come for

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Speaker 2: the funny crime stories. State a brush up on real

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Speaker 2: estate law, as delivered by two guys who aren't lawyers.

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Speaker 1: I'm Josh Dee and I'm Rory Scovell, and we mean

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Speaker 1: that about real estate law. We're trying to slowly transition

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Speaker 1: this podcast into real estate Law Chat.

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Speaker 2: We heard there's a higher CPM in the advertising category. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: all right. So there are a number of famous bee

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Speaker 2: scenes in movies. Can you remember any of them?

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Speaker 1: Well, the moment you said it earlier, I just started

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Speaker 1: picturing Jerry Seinfeld's voice in a.

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Speaker 2: B movie definitely the most famous of the be related movie.

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Speaker 1: But the one that I will say that maybe traumatized

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Speaker 1: me as a child was in the movie Inner Space,

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Speaker 1: where Martin Short gets stung and doesn't he like puff

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Speaker 1: up like crazy, has a crazy reaction to a beasting.

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Speaker 2: That one didn't make our list, so I don't even

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Speaker 2: remember it. We missed one.

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Speaker 1: I might be misremembering, but I think I'm right. That

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Speaker 1: was back when you had to watch HBO to watch movies,

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Speaker 1: and they played the same movie eight thousand times, so

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Speaker 1: you got to know it really.

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Speaker 2: Well until you taped it on your VHS. Real relevant

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Speaker 2: content we're providing here for the youth of America. So

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Speaker 2: our list We had My Girl of course too sad

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Speaker 2: for a comedy podcast, but a required reference.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Also, why aren't there more coming of age stories where

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Speaker 2: the dad as a mortician?

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Speaker 1: Yep, thank you.

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Speaker 2: There's the weird Nicholas Cage movie The wicker Man. Have

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Speaker 2: you seen that one?

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Speaker 1: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Anything with Cage Cage I must see. Yeah. Then I

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Speaker 2: was gonna mention that Jerry Seinfeld movie literally called the

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Speaker 2: b movie You're.

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Speaker 1: Like jazz Hi.

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Speaker 2: And then there's arguably the closest reference for our story today,

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Speaker 2: the scene in Tommy Boy where Chris Farley and David

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Speaker 2: Spade pretend they're being attacked by bees in order to avoid.

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Speaker 1: The dollars they've gou. Y'ah they're here. Yeah, I forgot

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Speaker 1: about that. Pretty smart move.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, that feels like a lesson for your career here, Rory,

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Speaker 2: a good bee screaming scene is total oscar babe.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.

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Speaker 2: So you got to land a roll where you're being

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Speaker 2: attacked by bees.

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Speaker 1: Something that's my request all the time. Is there anything

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Speaker 1: I can do related to bees in this it's in

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Speaker 1: your writer? How about Candy Man in the original one.

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Speaker 1: He had negotiated that contract if he got stung by

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Speaker 1: a bee effort. They were using real bees. He got

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Speaker 1: one thousand dollars every beasting. And I think he got

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Speaker 1: stung like fifty something times. I don't know a significant

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Speaker 1: amount of times.

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Speaker 2: Is that true?

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Speaker 1: That's true. The original actor who passed away not that

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Speaker 1: long ago. I don't remember his name, but I've been

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Speaker 1: talking about the original candy Man.

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Speaker 2: Wow, you've added two to our list. We missed two

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Speaker 2: good ones.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Well, now that we've established the cinematic tableau, let's go

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Speaker 2: to the buzzworthy crime itself. Okay, we're in law Meadow, Massachusetts,

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Speaker 2: a small town near the Connecticut border that sounds sort

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Speaker 2: of made of Long Meadow. It's known for its historic

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Speaker 2: homes and its town green, although based on the pictures

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Speaker 2: I've found online, town green seems to be more like

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Speaker 2: a fancy word for park yep. Anyway, this is a

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Speaker 2: show about crimes, and for that we go back to

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Speaker 2: October twelfth, twenty twenty two, a clear, crisp fall day

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Speaker 2: in the Long Meadow, New England. Stuff is happening everywhere.

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Speaker 2: People are sipping breakfast chowders, some Wallbergs are probably at

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Speaker 2: Donkey's all that stuff. People are doing classic, just.

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Speaker 1: Your classic New England behavior. Yeah yeah.

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Speaker 2: What's important is that into this bucolic scene strolls the

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Speaker 2: Sheriff's posse in their patrol cars. Apparently some unfortunate person

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Speaker 2: has fallen behind on their mortgage payments. The bank is

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Speaker 2: foreclosing on his home. It's gone through the courts. Now

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Speaker 2: the Hampton County Sheriff's Department is rolling up to.

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Speaker 1: Get this guy out of his house. This is an eviction,

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Speaker 1: That's what they're there for.

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Speaker 2: It's an eviction. A sad scene that plays out him

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Speaker 2: every American city every day. But on the horizon, a

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Speaker 2: savior appears. In this case, the savior as a woman

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Speaker 2: in her mid fifties, and her name is Rory Susan Woods.

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Speaker 1: Her name is Rory A fellow, Rory okay, because I

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Speaker 1: didn't know if you were saying my name, and then

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Speaker 1: Susan Woods. No, no, but her name is Rory Susan Woods.

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Speaker 2: It's a crime. Was first another Rory.

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Speaker 1: Rory Woods, Rory Woods. I like that.

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Speaker 2: I believe her name is actually Rebecca I think, But

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Speaker 2: she goes by.

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Speaker 1: Who does that? Y will just do that, Becky, you

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Speaker 1: can't just you can't pivot to Rory from Rebecca. So far,

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Speaker 1: this is my biggest issue with who I will refer

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Speaker 1: to as Susan.

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Speaker 2: Refuse to dignify.

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Speaker 1: This woman's first name.

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Speaker 2: Well, I should point out your Rory with a why

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Speaker 2: she's Rory with an ie.

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Speaker 1: I don't hate that. A lot of people ask me

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Speaker 1: if I hate it. I don't actually hate it.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any other feelings you like to share

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Speaker 2: for the record about the appropriate spelling or its suitability

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Speaker 2: across genders.

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Speaker 1: I like four letters for the spelling. It's my preference,

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Speaker 1: not just because it's mine. I like that the name

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Speaker 1: has an ambiguity to it. Really appreciate that it.

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Speaker 2: Is your Rory short for something about the.

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Speaker 1: Way, not for me personally. If it is in general,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but it not for me.

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Speaker 2: I can't think of what it would be. Sure. I

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Speaker 2: was trying to think of what it might be.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, honestly, it's Rebecca also, but I don't

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Speaker 1: want to. I don't want to bring that up. After

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Speaker 1: blowing my gasket a second ago, I was gonna say,

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Speaker 1: Robert a little known. It's absolutely something miserable. I am Robert. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I can see why you go by Rory.

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Speaker 2: Okay, back to the scene in Long Meadow. The sheriff's

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Speaker 2: deputies have a mast at the front door of this

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Speaker 2: two story home with gabled windows. They're ready to evict

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Speaker 2: whoever lives there. And then here comes Rory with an I.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: She's in her mid fifties with long gray hair. She

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Speaker 2: looks like the angriest vendor at a farmer's market. And

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Speaker 2: she's driving a blue Nithonics Terra and she's towing a

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Speaker 2: flatbud trailer with three bee hives secured to the BACKUS draft. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Now, we're not talking about bee keeping bee hives like

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Speaker 1: in the shelving type units. That's what you're talking about.

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Speaker 2: Oh, just you wait, okay, because I'm gonna get more

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Speaker 2: specific here. Good good, good question, good prompt. Yeah, so

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Speaker 2: these are.

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Speaker 1: Those beekeeper beehives that look kind of like a dresser

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Speaker 1: stack of bee drawers. And actually, if I can be

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Speaker 1: a little pedantic here for a minute, new England boxes

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Speaker 1: are going to be bigger and taller than their usual

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Speaker 1: Southern variety. Yep, because the bees need two big bottom drawers.

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Speaker 1: They're called supers Rory.

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Speaker 2: That gives them room to make a bunch of wax

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Speaker 2: and bee babies to survive the cold winter.

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Speaker 1: Oh. Nature really is fascinating and beautiful. If you step

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Speaker 1: back from all this digital shit and really drink it up.

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Speaker 2: You know, That's what I'm here to do, make you

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Speaker 2: stun back for me. I'm just this is bee talk. Hey.

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Speaker 1: When we started this venture, you said I'm here to

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Speaker 1: make you step back and drink it up. And I

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Speaker 1: thought you were hitting on me, but instead you really

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Speaker 1: were just trying to expand my mind and help me

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Speaker 1: mature into a better person.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I was.

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Speaker 1: Also on it, and and I'm okay with it. I'm

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Speaker 1: okay with it now.

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Speaker 2: So bees in warmer places like your home state of

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Speaker 2: South Carolina, those bees don't need as much space. They're

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Speaker 2: coddled and soft, just like most Southerners.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll take that. I'm a softie. I'm a softy boy.

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Speaker 2: Rory with and I ez Beehives are painted in a

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Speaker 2: variety of quaint pastel cute. I think they get a

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Speaker 2: lot of likes from bee people on Instagram. Nice hashtag honey,

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Speaker 2: hashtag blessed, Yeah, hashtag.

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Speaker 1: You said this is twenty twenty one, that we're talking

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Speaker 1: about two All right, post quarantine, Rory on the rampage,

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Speaker 1: got it?

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Speaker 2: She sure is okay. So Rory rolls up next to

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Speaker 2: the Sheriff's cruisers in her blue ex Terra with those

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Speaker 2: pastel boxes. The deputies are already out of their vehicles,

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Speaker 2: amassing in the front yard, ready to evict some dead beats,

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Speaker 2: blissfully unaware of the threat in their mist And then,

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Speaker 2: according to local TV news reports, Rory with an ie,

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Speaker 2: hops out of the car and goes absolutely ham She

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Speaker 2: smashes the lid on one hive and tips another hive

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Speaker 2: off the trailer, and the bees, not surprisingly, they're pissed.

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Speaker 2: They're nice little pastel houses with the extra drawers are

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Speaker 2: now tipped over and smashed. They start flying around like crazy,

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Speaker 2: swarming maybe yeah, definitely, attacking the sheriff and the deputies

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Speaker 2: in a few bystanders too, according to reports from the

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Speaker 2: Sheriff's office.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: And at some point during the scuffle, Rory manages to

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Speaker 2: get her be sued on. So at this point she's

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Speaker 2: in costume basically reached anti eviction robinhood superhero status. Oh

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Speaker 2: I like that without getting stung herself. She's put on

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Speaker 2: her b suit. She's got the metal meshed face thing.

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Speaker 2: Unfortunately it doesn't fight off cops because they arrest her. Yep,

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Speaker 2: and there's a great photo of Rory with an Ie

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Speaker 2: being restrained by deputies Wall wearing the be suit. According

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Speaker 2: to sheriffs, one deputy had high blood pressure afterwards and

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Speaker 2: went to the er, but otherwise no cops were injured.

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Speaker 2: But before we get to what happened with the eviction

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Speaker 2: and after her arrest, let's pause to consider the important

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Speaker 2: unresolved questions of this crime. First, should we all be

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Speaker 2: worried when we're driving the country roads of Massachusetts, just

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Speaker 2: for instance, though we might encounter a trailer full of bees?

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Speaker 2: Is this a new fear you should be considering? It

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Speaker 2: turns out strapping hives to a trailer is totally legit.

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Speaker 2: You just have to secure them early in the morning

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Speaker 2: or at night to make sure all bees are at

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Speaker 2: home before you close the boxes and put them on

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Speaker 2: the trailer. Also, bees are less active before dawn and

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Speaker 2: after dusk, so you're less likely to get a million

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Speaker 2: bees stings if you forget your be suit. Okay, but

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Speaker 2: you shouldn't be dry and bees around without a bee souo.

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Speaker 2: Let's be honest. Another important thing to consider. You had

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Speaker 2: to make sure the bees have proper ventilation but can't escape,

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Speaker 2: so the vent holes have to be smaller than the

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Speaker 2: bee bodies. Common mistake out there and be amateur land

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Speaker 2: bees are getting just pulled up out of the just

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Speaker 2: sucked out of there, stinging people all up and down.

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Speaker 2: I eighty four, that's a Massachusetts interstate. I just pulled

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Speaker 2: that one out.

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Speaker 1: I know you did your research.

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Speaker 2: Bees are moved peacefully in this way all the time. Now.

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Speaker 2: As for this very unusual strategy of using bees as

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Speaker 2: a kind of weapon as a way to thwart an eviction,

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Speaker 2: that's probably not going to go great.

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Speaker 3: Unusual to you, Josh us Rory's bees are us Rory's

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Speaker 3: choice weapon in any situation.

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Speaker 2: Got some of my pocket right now. Really, what you're

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Speaker 2: doing is you're unleashing a random cloud of bees that

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Speaker 2: just had their home pushed off a trailer. They're confused

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Speaker 2: and probably mad, but not necessarily irate and looking to

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Speaker 2: attack deputies who are kicking someone out of a house.

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Speaker 2: They're just flying around, probably looking for a new place

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Speaker 2: to settle. Yeah, I mean, i'd also be bad at

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Speaker 2: my job if I didn't point out the irony of

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Speaker 2: destroying the home of thousands of bees to protest the

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Speaker 2: eviction of one person.

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Speaker 1: I was thinking the exact same thing.

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Speaker 2: A little bit beist, I guess.

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Speaker 1: Honestly, it felt like sort of a gorilla art, you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean, showed up to be like, this

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Speaker 1: is what you're doing to them?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I hadn't thought of that, Like a living metaphor.

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Speaker 1: Living metaphor, and that's us Rory's we communicate that way.

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Speaker 2: So back to the eviction. It appears the swarm of

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Speaker 2: bees defense did manage to delay the eviction, but only

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Speaker 2: by one day. So was it a success.

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Speaker 1: No, And also there's no way to assume it would

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Speaker 1: ever change the course of action. It could only ever

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Speaker 1: be a delay. Honestly, one day is impressive.

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Speaker 2: I gotta give Rory a lot of creativity points.

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Speaker 1: Yes, million percent.

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Speaker 2: It's also worth noting the home that the bank foreclosed

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Speaker 2: on was a giant mansion. Zillo said. It's worth one

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Speaker 2: point seven million. It has seven bedrooms, nine bathrooms, and

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Speaker 2: it's almost ten thousand square feet a basketball court.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you really put the cart before the horse there

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Speaker 1: when describing this entire picture that we are so many

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Speaker 1: of us were not picturing that at all.

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Speaker 2: I saved that for you. It felt like that might

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Speaker 2: change the way that you looked at this story. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but that's actually there's another twist in the story. You

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Speaker 2: might think someone rich enough to have a ten thousand

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Speaker 2: square foot house with a basketball court isn't really worthy

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Speaker 2: of your sympathy, But you'd be wrong, because, according to

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Speaker 2: a story in the local newspaper, the house was owned

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Speaker 2: by a man in his eighties named Alton King Junior.

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Speaker 2: He was the home's original owner, and in two thousand

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Speaker 2: and six he took out a massive construction loan to

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Speaker 2: build the basketball court in a suite for his mother

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Speaker 2: in law. Eventually, that loan got out of control. This

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Speaker 2: is such an American story. King blames predatory lending practices.

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Speaker 2: The basketball court project eventually led to his eviction, but

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Speaker 2: the octagenarian told the paper he doesn't regret it. Quote,

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Speaker 2: you have to do what you love every day. That's

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Speaker 2: the key to life. You have to keep going and

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Speaker 2: going until you can't anymore. There have been thousands of

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Speaker 2: games played at my home. I've played in many of them.

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Speaker 2: It's kept me young. Okay, all right, so I've come

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Speaker 2: back around.

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Speaker 1: As often is the case, I'm gonna side with the civilians.

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Speaker 2: Yep. I'm with both Alton King and with Rory, who

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Speaker 2: came to stand up for him.

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Speaker 1: I already knew I had to be that way because

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Speaker 1: as Rory's have a bond that I can't even begin

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Speaker 1: to explain. You guys wouldn't understand it.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't expect yea, yeah, yeah, I.

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Speaker 1: Was already on team Rory. But I was like, Ah,

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Speaker 1: these poor cops just doing their jobs. Now, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, the guy's in his eighties, you're evicting him.

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Speaker 1: I believe the predatory lending practices. I believe all of it.

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Speaker 2: I do too. The real villain here is Banks.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, as we say out on the plant, that's exactly.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly, and we say it every morning. It's our

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Speaker 1: morning prayer.

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Speaker 2: Uh. It was now another episode of kud Air who

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Speaker 2: God knows when. And I've been making play a com

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Speaker 2: No one will understand what the hell I'm talking about.

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Speaker 1: They don't need to. That's not for this exactly.

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Speaker 2: And here's one more bizarre twist. The cops around Long

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Speaker 2: Meadow are actually pretty nice folks too. Sure, they evicted

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Speaker 2: an eighty year old man from his dream home. But

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Speaker 2: hear me out. Sure, this very sheriff's department Hampden County,

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Speaker 2: the one getting mercilessly attacked by bees while trying to

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Speaker 2: serve in eviction, was once profiled in The New York

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Speaker 2: Times for being nice cops who tried to help find

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Speaker 2: people housing. The headline is, quote, is there such a

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Speaker 2: thing as a humane eviction? What another twist?

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Speaker 1: This is?

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Speaker 2: So it happened in one county where the cops are laid.

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Speaker 1: Now that there's no villains in this story, I mean

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Speaker 1: what banks?

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Speaker 4: Oh right, right, yeah, we're still have banks, right, I

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Speaker 4: forgot one more twist. The bank is so lovable, It's

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Speaker 4: the most lovable bank in America. They give out those

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Speaker 4: little white and red striped mints when you go in.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and those are pricey. Those are pricey. That's an

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Speaker 1: overhead that they incur. They incur those costs, So.

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Speaker 2: Fuck the banks. So anyway, these sheriff's department, they do

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Speaker 2: welfare check ins. They called around to vouch for people

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Speaker 2: with other landlords. On the spectrum of law enforcement that

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Speaker 2: deserves to be attacked by be wielding super villain. They're

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Speaker 2: low on the list. H Well, and I know what

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Speaker 2: you're really wondering here, what became of Rory with an

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Speaker 2: Ie Rory Susan?

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Speaker 1: I was I knew you were going to get to it,

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Speaker 1: but I almost asked it way too early.

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Speaker 2: Okay, it's now the time in which we tie up

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Speaker 2: with a bow the story of Roryan.

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Speaker 1: So let me ask it, Josh, what ended up happening

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Speaker 1: to this Rory character you spoke of?

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Speaker 2: Well, funny you should ask, because she's honestly looking pretty

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Speaker 2: proud of herself in her mugshot, which fair enough, this

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Speaker 2: is one of the most creative crimes I've have seen recently.

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Speaker 2: Look at that.

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Speaker 1: I like that smirk God really like lustrious head of hair.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, really full like a lion's mane, like a

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Speaker 1: lion's man not to protect the entire crew.

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Speaker 2: That's the kind of swagger I like to see in

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Speaker 2: a mug shot. She's just like unrepentant, like nope, I

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Speaker 2: don't regret it.

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Speaker 1: Was It wasn't me, it was the bees. And she

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Speaker 1: doesn't have, you know, not an argument.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I'm sure there's a lawyer who could

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Speaker 2: make a case of like, I don't know those boxes

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Speaker 2: fell off the thing anyway. Sadly, Rory was charged with

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Speaker 2: AsSalt and battery with a deadly weapon, the weapon being bees.

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Speaker 2: It feels like a bit of a stretch until you

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Speaker 2: hear that one of the deputies was allergic to bees,

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Speaker 2: and when he told Rory, she reportedly replied, oh you're allergic.

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Speaker 1: Good, Yeah, that's how we talk.

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Speaker 2: You're bad boys, right, aren't Rory? As all?

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Speaker 1: We're bad boys. We don't follow authority, so what do

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Speaker 1: you want us to do?

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Speaker 2: The sheriff gave a quote to a local news saying

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Speaker 2: if one of the deputies had died, she would have

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Speaker 2: been charged with manslaughter. Imagine that case. Wow. And here's

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Speaker 2: the kicker. Rory didn't actually know the homeowner. She's just

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Speaker 2: an anti eviction activist. She was released without bail, then

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Speaker 2: went back the next day to protest the eviction again,

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Speaker 2: this time peacefully without bees. That's dedication to the cause.

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Speaker 2: She's a worker bee.

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Speaker 1: Oh josh, look at you.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry, look at you.

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Speaker 1: A cute little button at the end.

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Speaker 2: The case against Rory has dragged on for years, and

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Speaker 2: trial date was finally set for August of twenty twenty five,

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Speaker 2: and when her day in court finally arrived, Rory with

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Speaker 2: an Ie was mia. She didn't shit, it's right. The

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Speaker 2: judge issued a non bailable warrant for failure to appear

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Speaker 2: in court. Police found her two days later, nearly eight

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Speaker 2: hundred miles away in Kingsport, Tennessee. The extradition process is

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Speaker 2: ongoing as of this recording. We will be following this

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Speaker 2: case closely.

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Speaker 1: Oh love it.

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Speaker 2: Because Rory's got to stick together, right teammates for life.

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Speaker 2: She'll be the first cult hero of crimeless.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: More on evictions and the forces of nature you can

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Speaker 2: use to work them after the break. Welcome back to

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Speaker 2: crime lists. This week we're talking about the most dangerous

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Speaker 2: of cocktails, real estate, animals, and vengeance. Of course we are.

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Speaker 2: We just heard about a woman named Rory with an

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Speaker 2: Ie using bees to effectively delay an eviction only by

397
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Speaker 2: a day. But still, what other animal or insect could

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Speaker 2: we recruit to help us keep us in our homes

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Speaker 2: should we become delinquent on our rent payments?

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Speaker 1: Rory to help keep us in our homes? We can't.

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Speaker 1: It can't be a dog, I say, guard dog, But

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Speaker 1: it's got to be something absurd. Bees was so absurd

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00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:56,560
Speaker 1: skunks there, I said it. Oh, that's very I feel

404
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,359
Speaker 1: like appropriate to South Carolina too. You probably have a

405
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Speaker 1: lot of skunks down there.

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Speaker 2: Everyone had.

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Speaker 1: If you have alarm system, you have skunks. That's what

408
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Speaker 1: an alarm system is. And people who've never been to

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Speaker 1: the South believe it. You guys have shoes down there, like, yeah,

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00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,440
Speaker 1: we just got them.

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Speaker 2: It was like a Larry of the Cable Guy joke,

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00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:13,240
Speaker 2: you might be a redneck if your alarm system is

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Speaker 2: a skunk.

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00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,080
Speaker 1: That was Foxworthy. Foxworthy was the you might be a

415
00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,879
Speaker 1: redneck as a stand up who cherishes that? Man, I

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Speaker 1: have to put that out there.

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Speaker 2: Apologies to Foxworthy. I think I would pick a howler monkey.

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Speaker 2: These things sound terrifying. Lane, do we have some audio CUTEO?

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Speaker 1: Yeah we do. O. Oh my god, turn that off.

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00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:43,280
Speaker 1: That's like a satanic spell. That's subconsciously getting into our

421
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,399
Speaker 1: psyche and changing us without our knowing.

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Speaker 2: If there's a anti eviction Josh out there, he's showing

423
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 2: up with a truckfull howler monkeys. Oh my god, Yeah, amazing,

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00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:57,040
Speaker 2: amazing howl on that thing. But actually, for our next story,

425
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Speaker 2: it's a little less exciting. The woman facing a deviction

426
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Speaker 2: has chosen a goat after that, right, it's a very

427
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,760
Speaker 2: terrifying goat. It's an attack coat, all right, I believe you.

428
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,600
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. This happened a couple of years

429
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,360
Speaker 2: ago in San Antonio, Texas, and the story we found

430
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 2: is published from the perspective of a guy named Daniel

431
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:19,239
Speaker 2: Cabrera who owns a house flipping company in town. One

432
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Speaker 2: of those places you see the signs for sell your

433
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,200
Speaker 2: house fast for cash, any condition, that kind of thing.

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Speaker 2: You know, the signs.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

436
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 2: I've always been kind of fascinated by these signs. We

437
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,600
Speaker 2: want your house, even if it has mold and termites

438
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,560
Speaker 2: and chunk everywhere, Please give it to us. We'll pay

439
00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,960
Speaker 2: you in cash. Feels like there's a scam in there somewhere.

440
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:34,639
Speaker 2: I just don't know what if it.

441
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 1: Couldn't be more scammish than and they don't even care.

442
00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,280
Speaker 1: They what do you care to get this cash?

443
00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:40,640
Speaker 2: Do you want to get out of that moldy house

444
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,600
Speaker 2: or what? So, this particular San Antonio house flipping company

445
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 2: actually got Hall of Fame quarterback Brett Farv to cut

446
00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:48,560
Speaker 2: a commercial for them.

447
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,719
Speaker 1: And we all know now that he's a good person,

448
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:51,600
Speaker 1: so that's great.

449
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:53,920
Speaker 2: It's also one of the Sadu's commercials I've ever seen.

450
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 2: Poor Brett looks and sounds exhausted. One minute you're winning

451
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 2: Super Bowls, the next you're doing commercials for house flippers

452
00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 2: in San Antonio.

453
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,159
Speaker 5: I think we have a clip, Hey Brett Barr up

454
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:06,280
Speaker 5: here was sell my House Fast San Antonio, where every

455
00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:10,080
Speaker 5: second counts, just like in football, ensuring you sell your

456
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 5: home quickly and a fish.

457
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,640
Speaker 6: Oh my god, it doesn't get any better.

458
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 1: I mean that is so that no one was like,

459
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,199
Speaker 1: hey Brett, maybe one more time, let's maybe go with

460
00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,120
Speaker 1: a sort of level camera. Maybe we'll just maybe put

461
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 1: it on a stack of books, put the laptop on

462
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 1: a stack of books to get this next one. Good lord,

463
00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,919
Speaker 1: if you want to sell your house fast, go to

464
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,680
Speaker 1: sell your house fast San Antonio and they will sell

465
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 1: your house fast. Thanks Brett.

466
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:44,600
Speaker 2: That man won like five MVPs. Super used to.

467
00:20:44,600 --> 00:20:46,800
Speaker 1: Love that man, and then he was like, Hey, how

468
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:48,399
Speaker 1: do I get everyone to stop loving me?

469
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 2: He's doing well a wildly successful campaign.

470
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:54,200
Speaker 1: To make himself les rushing it.

471
00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,720
Speaker 2: Really, that has got to be seriously one of the

472
00:20:56,720 --> 00:20:58,639
Speaker 2: status corsals i've ever seen a famous person.

473
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,520
Speaker 1: It's like they pay him to do a cameo and

474
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,600
Speaker 1: then just took that like unbeknownst to him.

475
00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 2: They're like, Brett, could you read this? He's like, wait, yeah,

476
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: it sure feels like a commercial.

477
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:14,520
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, no, it's my buddy's birthday. It's my buddy's birthday.

478
00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 1: His name is yeah, his name is san Antonio.

479
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,639
Speaker 2: Oh man. Well, it's a funny thing. Browsing around the internet.

480
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,080
Speaker 2: You can basically find anything like there's this whole realm

481
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,520
Speaker 2: about shitty landlords and getting revenge, and then there's this

482
00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: whole other realm where the landlords of the heroes. It's

483
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,840
Speaker 2: the landlords talking about how they defeated bad tenants, which

484
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:35,600
Speaker 2: I guess makes sense.

485
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,959
Speaker 1: It makes perfect sense. Yeah, I have the beholder. I'm

486
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,400
Speaker 1: sure there are a lot of terrible tenants out there easily.

487
00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: And also, renders and landlords are natural enemies, not like

488
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 1: cats and dogs, because cats and dogs don't own houses

489
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: or pay rent, that's right, more like hermit crabs and

490
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:53,080
Speaker 1: whatever creatures own seashell investment properties. Yeah, I'm stretching the metaphor.

491
00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:55,399
Speaker 2: Now, the point of this story is told from the

492
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,040
Speaker 2: house slipper guy's perspective, and it was a story we

493
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,359
Speaker 2: found on realtor dot com. We don't actually know the

494
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,000
Speaker 2: name of the woman or the name of her goat,

495
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,840
Speaker 2: so keep that in mind. Anyway, the house flipper got

496
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 2: a call from a panicked woman the bank was going

497
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,399
Speaker 2: to foreclose on her house, who was going to be

498
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 2: evicted in a matter of days, and she wanted to

499
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 2: sell it to him before the bank kicked her out.

500
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 2: The house flipper guy moved quickly to get ahead of

501
00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 2: the bank. He paid a lawyer to work on a

502
00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:19,000
Speaker 2: temporary order to stop the foreclosure process. He greed to

503
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 2: buy the house for one hundred and seventy five grand.

504
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,880
Speaker 2: Pretty good deal for a five bedroom in San Antonio.

505
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:25,240
Speaker 2: I gotta imagine once the bank got their cut, the

506
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,840
Speaker 2: woman's share was twelve thousand. Instead of an eviction, she

507
00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 2: got enough money to buy like used Hyundai or something

508
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 2: twelve kg and I mean not bad. You're about to

509
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 2: get kicked out. You end up with twelve thousand. Yep,

510
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,920
Speaker 2: and just like the signs promised, the house flipper paid

511
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 2: her in cash. Now here's where the guy says he

512
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:41,960
Speaker 2: made a mistake, The mistake of human kindness. He gave

513
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,680
Speaker 2: the lady the money, and then he gave her a

514
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:47,520
Speaker 2: week to move out. I think you see where this

515
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:48,320
Speaker 2: is going. I do.

516
00:22:48,640 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 1: This is going to be a classic reverse Rory situation.

517
00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 1: They put bees in the house.

518
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:58,640
Speaker 2: Close those bees made the form of a goat. Love

519
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,119
Speaker 2: this so Yeah, a woman ghosted him. She wonn't respond

520
00:23:02,160 --> 00:23:04,400
Speaker 2: to text. He drives by the house to look into things,

521
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,639
Speaker 2: and that's when he sees it. A goat tied to

522
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:07,320
Speaker 2: the front porch.

523
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:07,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

524
00:23:08,119 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 2: Keep in mind, this is San Antonio, city of one

525
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 2: point five million people and presumably far fewer goats, so

526
00:23:13,119 --> 00:23:14,400
Speaker 2: not exactly a common sight.

527
00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:15,480
Speaker 1: This is not Cleveland.

528
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,639
Speaker 2: And there's a great quote from the guy in the article.

529
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:20,720
Speaker 2: He says, quote, it wasn't a little goat either. It

530
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 2: was a solid sized goat.

531
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:25,760
Speaker 1: Solid sized is how I often describe things that are big.

532
00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 1: I say solid sized. We didn't assume it was a

533
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:34,680
Speaker 1: watery goat. Gassius formed goat that would freak me out.

534
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 2: I think what he really meant was a goat you

535
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 2: don't want to fuck with. Yeah, but the house flipper

536
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:41,160
Speaker 2: hadn't learned his lesson yet. He approaches the front porch,

537
00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 2: strolls right up, and then the goat attacks. The guy says,

538
00:23:44,320 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 2: the goat kept coming at him like he's some rival

539
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,720
Speaker 2: mail trying to steal a lady. Yet like, this is

540
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,439
Speaker 2: my house. I will ram your ass. Yeah, and the

541
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:54,199
Speaker 2: house flipper is like, now, listen, goat, your name is

542
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 2: not on the deed, which immediately made me think of

543
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 2: that Andy samberges on else catch Mark Wahlberg talks to animals.

544
00:23:59,400 --> 00:23:59,840
Speaker 2: Do you remember this?

545
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:00,440
Speaker 1: Yeah?

546
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, do we have a clip of that lane?

547
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:06,200
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna talk to a goat. Hey, goat, it's

548
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 1: good to see you. I like your beard. I had

549
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 1: a beard like that in The Perfect Storm.

550
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 6: Did you see that movie?

551
00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 2: Say? How do you mother? Form? Okay the best? I

552
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:19,959
Speaker 2: always love that.

553
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,240
Speaker 1: I love that. That goat was like, I'm not willing

554
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,399
Speaker 1: to be in your sketch. I don't I'm not playing

555
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,040
Speaker 1: your game. Dude.

556
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 2: Well, that is not the situation on this port of

557
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,040
Speaker 2: San Antonio. That goat was in it to win it. Yeah,

558
00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,639
Speaker 2: So what happens. The woman sold her house to the

559
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 2: house slipper. He paid her, it's done, but she won't leave.

560
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 2: She's staying put and her goat is gonna deal with

561
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 2: anyone who tries to stop her. Yeah, so the house

562
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,800
Speaker 2: slipper consults a lawyer who tells him the woman is

563
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: now what real estate lawyers call a quote tenant at sufferance.

564
00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:52,000
Speaker 2: We knew that, I mean from our many episodes about

565
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,280
Speaker 2: real estate law. It's basically a legal term for someone

566
00:24:54,320 --> 00:24:55,639
Speaker 2: who used to have the right to live in a

567
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:56,840
Speaker 2: house but doesn't anymore.

568
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 1: Oh okay, ye, you still have.

569
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 2: Certain rights, however, even in Texas, which typically doesn't extend

570
00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,160
Speaker 2: rights to anyone except for guns.

571
00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,879
Speaker 1: That's exactly right. Not to get all political, No, and

572
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:07,720
Speaker 1: you're not, You're just stating a fact.

573
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:10,320
Speaker 2: So the house slipper now has to get the courts

574
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,160
Speaker 2: involved to evict the woman from the house she sold him.

575
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:16,639
Speaker 2: The house guarded by the world's most fearsome, solid sized goat.

576
00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,440
Speaker 2: And this takes a couple months, but the guy does

577
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:21,600
Speaker 2: get the court order for eviction. Then he comes the

578
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:24,520
Speaker 2: day when the house flipper shows up with cops to

579
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,400
Speaker 2: get her out of the house. They arrive, the goat's gone,

580
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 2: it's no longer on the front porch. They knock, but

581
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,439
Speaker 2: no one comes to the door. A locksmith comes. He

582
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 2: pops the door open and there's the goat. The goat

583
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:40,359
Speaker 2: is in the house. He's the captain. Now, yeah, I

584
00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 2: like that.

585
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:42,440
Speaker 1: I like that a lot.

586
00:25:43,359 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 2: So apparently the goat actually headbuts one of the cops.

587
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 1: Illegal, but by the way, that's illegal.

588
00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that is a crime. That's the salt

589
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,560
Speaker 2: of the law enforcement. That's right. There are also a

590
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,199
Speaker 2: bunch of cats and dogs in the house. It's a

591
00:25:57,200 --> 00:26:00,400
Speaker 2: whole NOAs arc situation in there. The house flipper reports

592
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 2: in his article that he felt bad for the woman.

593
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:04,399
Speaker 2: He also says he renovated the house and turned a

594
00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 2: forty thousand dollars profit. So I guess that's the moral

595
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 2: of the story. From a real estate perspective. Not every

596
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 2: house flip goes smoothly. But if you play your cards

597
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 2: right and don't fuck with the wrong goat, you'll still

598
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:14,720
Speaker 2: make your profit.

599
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:16,719
Speaker 1: You'll make your profit. Yep, I get it.

600
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,800
Speaker 2: That's America. Yeah. I think we can all agree that

601
00:26:19,840 --> 00:26:21,879
Speaker 2: the goat and the bees are the true heroes of

602
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,200
Speaker 2: this episode. They didn't ask for any of this their

603
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 2: free spirits. They just follow their hearts. Yeah, and sometimes

604
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,680
Speaker 2: their hearts tell them to attack the cops in order

605
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 2: to prevent a human from eviction. Yeah, bet you weren't

606
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 2: seeing it that way.

607
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: Well, I never saw it that way, and even five

608
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,479
Speaker 1: minutes from now, I won't remember that I saw it

609
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 1: that way for even just a glimpse.

610
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 2: It's also possible the bees had no fucking idea what

611
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 2: was going on. Now.

612
00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,040
Speaker 1: I just think they knew. I think the bees were

613
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 1: very informed. Does not downplay the intelligence of these animals.

614
00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 2: Are you saying bees are as smart as four year olds?

615
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: Yes? Maybe even older, maybe eight, maybe nine year old.

616
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:01,960
Speaker 2: After the break, we play games again, animals or something. Oh,

617
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 2: how will Lane top it?

618
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:11,760
Speaker 1: We'll find out this is crimeless.

619
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,200
Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome back to Crime List. It's now time

620
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 2: for our final segment. Rory, what's that called?

621
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,639
Speaker 1: It's called Lane's Game?

622
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:21,920
Speaker 6: Thank you?

623
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: Featuring what Lane, Lane, Lane, Window, Lane, Lane's Games Today.

624
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:36,840
Speaker 6: I have some trivia about some Rory's. Oh name is Rory's?

625
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 1: Here we go.

626
00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 6: At first, I was like, maybe I'll do it all

627
00:27:39,560 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 6: on Rory. I'll like really get into his biography.

628
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:44,560
Speaker 2: Oh see if you can stump him on his own biography.

629
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,440
Speaker 2: I like that sound.

630
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:47,479
Speaker 6: I'm going to say that I felt weird about that.

631
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:49,760
Speaker 1: Oh my god, could you imagine I get it all

632
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: wrong and you realize everything I've ever said is a lie.

633
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 6: I really felt like I needed to watch like more

634
00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:55,920
Speaker 6: of your stand up and maybe.

635
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 1: I feel like an intense pressure to get this right,

636
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: even though it's about other rories. Feel like I'm supposed

637
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:01,320
Speaker 1: to know this.

638
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:03,400
Speaker 2: I mean, if you can't beat me in, Rory.

639
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 1: You're feeling that too. You're feeling that too, Okay.

640
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:07,959
Speaker 2: I feel like you will have failed to us all

641
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 2: if you don't want that.

642
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: So I feel I feel like I'm carrying the weight

643
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,399
Speaker 1: of this show right now. It falls apart if I

644
00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:13,959
Speaker 1: don't win this.

645
00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:16,000
Speaker 2: Of every Rory who's ever.

646
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:19,879
Speaker 6: Lived, yp this is so tess Okay. First one, Rory

647
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 6: Kanear is an English actor. Do we know if I

648
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,119
Speaker 6: said that, right, Canear can hear sounds?

649
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 1: Right?

650
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,200
Speaker 2: I mean, that's how Greg I was going to say,

651
00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 2: That's what I.

652
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:28,199
Speaker 1: Was going to go with.

653
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:31,680
Speaker 6: He plays the lead in the debut episode of the

654
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 6: British science fiction series Black Mirror. What is that episode about?

655
00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:41,240
Speaker 1: It is about the politician who has to do the

656
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,640
Speaker 1: like fuck a sheep or pig? It's a pig, pig,

657
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 1: it's a pig.

658
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 6: Yes, Rory, a member of the Royal family is kidnapped

659
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,120
Speaker 6: and will only be released if the British Prime Minister

660
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 6: played by Rory has sexual intercourse with a pig on

661
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 6: live television.

662
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,600
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, also, easy peasy that right now. If you

663
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 1: guys need me too, I don't. I don't even need

664
00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:05,040
Speaker 1: a reward or a punishment.

665
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:07,280
Speaker 6: I'll just do it.

666
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 2: That, by the way, loosely inspired by a rumor that

667
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 2: I believe David Cameron, former Prime Minister, in a fraternity

668
00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,120
Speaker 2: prank like had I don't know if sex is the

669
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: right term with a pig's head, a dead pig. Yeah,

670
00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:22,160
Speaker 2: just you wanted to know that.

671
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: I know, you know. Fraternities around the world all the same.

672
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, terrible, terrible place. Okay, wait, unless you're an a

673
00:29:29,960 --> 00:29:31,760
Speaker 2: fraternity you're listening to this, which case.

674
00:29:31,560 --> 00:29:35,280
Speaker 1: I love you, obviously, respect you, and whatever organization you're

675
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:36,760
Speaker 1: a part of. Go Greek, all right.

676
00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 6: Next question. Rory Kennedy is the youngest child of US

677
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,120
Speaker 6: Senator Robert F. Kennedy, not the bad one in Ethel Kennedy.

678
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:47,160
Speaker 6: She is a well known documentary filmmaker. What sort of

679
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,440
Speaker 6: topics do her films focus on? I'll take anything, I

680
00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 6: feel like.

681
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,160
Speaker 1: At one point I did know this, But all I

682
00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 1: can get in my head right now is Nancy Pelosi's

683
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:59,120
Speaker 1: daughter who made that documentary about the pastor and I

684
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: can't remember what it was going, but fascinating. She's a documentary.

685
00:30:01,640 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 1: She's not a name Rory though I know, I know,

686
00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 1: I was just trying to stall.

687
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:06,959
Speaker 2: Her name is Alex Pelosi. I believe. Oh, look at

688
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:08,120
Speaker 2: that a bonus point.

689
00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 1: Actually, I think that's where the bonus point. I think

690
00:30:10,360 --> 00:30:13,240
Speaker 1: I actually did know this. I read it not that

691
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:13,800
Speaker 1: long ago.

692
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say, children, kids, I'm going to.

693
00:30:16,400 --> 00:30:21,400
Speaker 1: Say the topic of these documentaries is environmental you know, I'm.

694
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,440
Speaker 6: Going to give it grri because one of them is

695
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,719
Speaker 6: on the opposition to nuclear power.

696
00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, okay, I'll take it.

697
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,920
Speaker 6: Yeah. I would have taken the social issues of addiction,

698
00:30:31,520 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 6: the treatment of prisoners of war, or the politics of

699
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 6: the Mexican border fence, or cults.

700
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 1: Believe it or not, those were my second guesses. All

701
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 1: of those as one big second guess.

702
00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 2: I could tell you were.

703
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 6: Going to say that maybe children would have I mean,

704
00:30:46,160 --> 00:30:48,320
Speaker 6: depending on the cults, I think we could have maybe

705
00:30:48,400 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 6: count also like.

706
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,080
Speaker 2: The kids at the border of the border fence, lots.

707
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: Of kids sure, Okay, I think he already got the

708
00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: bonus point for Alex Pelosi.

709
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 2: That's right, I'm already way, I'm way, I'm so far

710
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 2: ahead now with you.

711
00:30:58,040 --> 00:30:59,920
Speaker 1: Already got the Easter Egg Pelosi point.

712
00:31:00,280 --> 00:31:02,560
Speaker 6: So yeah, every episode's gotta have a.

713
00:31:04,080 --> 00:31:04,400
Speaker 2: Right here.

714
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 6: Yeah, okay. Rory Gilmore is one of the main characters

715
00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:11,280
Speaker 6: in the show Gilmore Girls. What is the name of

716
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 6: Rory's best friend?

717
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:14,640
Speaker 1: Oh, I don't know this at all, and I wish

718
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:17,520
Speaker 1: it was just what's Rory's last name? And then I

719
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 1: was a Gilmore.

720
00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:19,360
Speaker 2: I don't know.

721
00:31:19,520 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: I don't know.

722
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 2: I don't know either, But let's discuss.

723
00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 6: What I'm going to give you a hint. It's on

724
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 6: the screen right now.

725
00:31:26,520 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 2: Lane Lane, Yes, Josh, Josh, Rory.

726
00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,680
Speaker 1: Also Rory, you should have guessed.

727
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,560
Speaker 2: Also, Rory, Rory.

728
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 6: It's Lane Kim.

729
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,720
Speaker 1: Lane Lane.

730
00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 2: All right.

731
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:47,240
Speaker 6: Rory McElroy is a professional.

732
00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: Golfer, McElroy. Michaelroy.

733
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,120
Speaker 6: My in laws were gonna kill me, McElroy.

734
00:31:52,240 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 1: That's murder Lane if they do that. And also we

735
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 1: have this on tape, so that would be who we

736
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:57,960
Speaker 1: question first if you end up dead.

737
00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,280
Speaker 6: Okay, cool, cool coo cool, Okay, Well, he's one of

738
00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:03,280
Speaker 6: the highest paying professional athletes in the world, but as

739
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 6: of right now, he sits in seventeenth place.

740
00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: Who's in first, Scotti Scheffler, all time, all.

741
00:32:08,600 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 6: Time, any any sport, any sport.

742
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:12,400
Speaker 2: Oh, any sport?

743
00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,920
Speaker 1: Oh, highest paid? I think you meant who's leading in

744
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: golf highest paid athlete of all right now?

745
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 6: According to Forbes?

746
00:32:18,640 --> 00:32:20,240
Speaker 1: I mean, is it still Michael Jordan?

747
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:20,800
Speaker 2: Yeah?

748
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 6: I think it's got to be Michael Jordan's Christana Ronaldo?

749
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: What Christiano Cristiano?

750
00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,560
Speaker 6: I can't pronounce any of these dudes' names.

751
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:28,480
Speaker 2: That's all right.

752
00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:30,600
Speaker 1: It is like you're learning about them for the first time,

753
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:31,560
Speaker 1: which fascinates me.

754
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,560
Speaker 6: I mean, honestly, I did. I did learn a lot

755
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 6: about professional golf when I look this up.

756
00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting, a lot.

757
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:41,560
Speaker 6: I mean, I've confirmed I knew nothing. Yeah, Okay, two

758
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,160
Speaker 6: more Rory's so far, you guys are doing pretty good.

759
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: This is the best we've ever shown up.

760
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,760
Speaker 6: I would say so. Rory Colkin is the youngest brother

761
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 6: of McCauley and Kieren. Name one thing he's been in, oh.

762
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:54,560
Speaker 1: Dear home alone.

763
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:56,000
Speaker 6: I don't think so.

764
00:32:57,240 --> 00:33:00,360
Speaker 1: Isn't he the younger brother or the younger cousin I'm.

765
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 6: Looking at his Wikipedia, and I'll see it in there.

766
00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:05,600
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna look it up because I don't trust

767
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 1: your research.

768
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 6: Fact check me.

769
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:09,040
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fact check Lane. I've never done this before. Guys.

770
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:13,360
Speaker 1: I'm so scared, gotcha media.

771
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,800
Speaker 2: I have no idea. I didn't have a guess.

772
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:18,800
Speaker 1: No, it's Kieran Culkin, who's in home alone.

773
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 6: I'll give you a hint.

774
00:33:21,080 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 1: I now can't guess because in looking it up, I

775
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:23,840
Speaker 1: saw an answer.

776
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 6: I'll give you a hint. Josh, there was a clue

777
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,720
Speaker 6: earlier in this quiz Gilmore Girls.

778
00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:32,480
Speaker 1: That's a great guess.

779
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:38,480
Speaker 4: Alex Pelosi's yeah, yeah, in her church doc.

780
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 2: Oh wait, Black Mary?

781
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,560
Speaker 6: He was in a recent episode of Black Mary.

782
00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 1: Yes, he was in that San Antonio commercial with Brett farm.

783
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:54,200
Speaker 6: All right, last one. Rory Reagan. Reagan is the alter

784
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 6: ego of what DC comics superhero?

785
00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:00,400
Speaker 2: Oh wait, do you see comics superhero?

786
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:02,800
Speaker 6: I thought Rory would know this because like, I don't know,

787
00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,240
Speaker 6: it's your name superhero?

788
00:34:04,640 --> 00:34:07,640
Speaker 1: Is it a famous like popular? Or is this kind

789
00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:09,120
Speaker 1: of like deep cut?

790
00:34:09,760 --> 00:34:11,279
Speaker 6: I've never heard of this person before.

791
00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: Research it was deep cut.

792
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,680
Speaker 6: It's kind of deep cut. But boys like that and

793
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 6: you guys are.

794
00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,720
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say green lantern.

795
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 1: So here's what's so funny. I know for a fact

796
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:24,040
Speaker 1: it's not green lantern because I think that's hal something.

797
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:27,759
Speaker 1: But what's so crazy is I also wanted to say

798
00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:32,280
Speaker 1: green lantern even though I knew it wasn't green lantern.

799
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:34,680
Speaker 2: I can only name like the famous. I don't know

800
00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 2: the Deep Cut TC.

801
00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:40,239
Speaker 1: I don't know Aquaman. No, if it's deep Cut, I

802
00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 1: have no idea. No, it's a guy Hawkman. That's not

803
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:47,279
Speaker 1: right invisible glob all.

804
00:34:47,200 --> 00:34:49,280
Speaker 6: Right, closer, closer, keep.

805
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:52,839
Speaker 1: Going, flying person kind of.

806
00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,759
Speaker 6: It's Ragman. He wears the suit of souls made of

807
00:34:56,800 --> 00:35:00,920
Speaker 6: corrupt souls from different Ragmen that different Raman have encountered

808
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 6: over the centuries, giving him superhuman strength, speed, stamina, and

809
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:05,800
Speaker 6: some magic.

810
00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 1: See there is some like positivity with drugs. Drugs lead

811
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,319
Speaker 1: us to that character. Whoever came up with that was

812
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,560
Speaker 1: fucked up, and they were like, this is Ragman. I

813
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,240
Speaker 1: just thought of a guy Ragman.

814
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 2: Also like the least like reassuring superhero name.

815
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:24,680
Speaker 4: Don't worry Ragman coming right, great fag Yeah, very excited

816
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:25,400
Speaker 4: for his arrival.

817
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, Ragman will be here. Okay, he sounds like he'll help.

818
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:30,200
Speaker 6: One of the other ones.

819
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:32,120
Speaker 1: Is that Ragman?

820
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:33,680
Speaker 2: No, that's just a homeless person.

821
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: Are you sure Batman is like busy busy or like what.

822
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:38,520
Speaker 6: We get Ragman?

823
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:42,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll just die. Okay, Gotham City Metropolis. You know

824
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:44,440
Speaker 1: who Milwaukee's.

825
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 6: Got Ragman clean it up the mess.

826
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,400
Speaker 1: During the daytime. He owns a brewery.

827
00:35:51,760 --> 00:35:54,040
Speaker 6: All right, that's all I have. Does all the Roys

828
00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 6: that ever existed?

829
00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 2: Oh? That was the final one?

830
00:35:56,440 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 6: Yeah?

831
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:59,240
Speaker 1: Rory on Lane's Games.

832
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 2: Did we miss any famous Rory Roy?

833
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:02,720
Speaker 1: Rory Calhoun the actor?

834
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:03,640
Speaker 2: What was he?

835
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:05,400
Speaker 1: I don't know, but people bring it up all the

836
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: time when I say my name is Rory Rory McElroy.

837
00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,480
Speaker 2: Was that's the guy? I was going to say, He's

838
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,000
Speaker 2: the most famous Roy that.

839
00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:13,759
Speaker 1: That comes up all the time.

840
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:17,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, well I think Rory won.

841
00:36:17,560 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, fine, I needed to thank you.

842
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:24,200
Speaker 2: We'll see you next week.

843
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:25,400
Speaker 6: Bye bye.

844
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 2: Crimeless is a production of SmartLess Media, Campsite Media, and

845
00:36:37,640 --> 00:36:41,960
Speaker 2: Big Money Players in partnership with iHeart Podcasts. It's hosted

846
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,560
Speaker 2: by Rory Scovel and me Josh Dean. Our senior producer

847
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 2: is Lane Rose. Emma Simonoff is our associate producer. This

848
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 2: episode was written by Michael Kenyon Meyer and me Josh Deen.

849
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,800
Speaker 2: We're sound designed and engineered by Blake Brook with support

850
00:36:56,920 --> 00:37:00,399
Speaker 2: from Ewan letrem Ewen Mark McAdam composed our the song.

851
00:37:00,760 --> 00:37:04,879
Speaker 2: The executive producers at Campside Media are Vanessa Gregoriatis, Matt Cher,

852
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Speaker 2: and me Josh Dean. The executive producers for iHeart Podcasts

853
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Speaker 2: and Big Money Players are Jack O'Brien, Lindsay Hoffman, and

854
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Speaker 2: Matt Appadaca. For SmartLess Media, the executive producers are Will Arnette,

855
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Speaker 2: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Richard Corson. Bernie Kaminski is

856
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:26,279
Speaker 2: head of Production. The associate producer is Mattie McCann. A

857
00:37:26,280 --> 00:37:29,839
Speaker 2: special thanks to our operations team, Ashley Warren and Sabina Marra.

858
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: Do you have a question, comment, or confession for the

859
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:36,759
Speaker 2: Crimeless team, Email us at crime List at campsidmedia dot

860
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 2: com and if you enjoyed crime List, please rate and

861
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,800
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862
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Speaker 2: people find the show and also makes us feel validated,

863
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 2: unless you're mean, in which case keep it to yourself.

864
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:50,440
Speaker 2: We'll see you next week. Crime List Nation