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Speaker 1: Some people's opinions materially matter, So we need to first

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Speaker 1: identify whose opinions matter to you. And for me, I've

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Speaker 1: got a roundtable and it's eight people, and to have

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Speaker 1: a seat at that roundtable, two things I've had to

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Speaker 1: take place. One is they've had time under tension with me,

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Speaker 1: and for them to demonstrate that they care about me

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Speaker 1: and my growth and who I am, my struggles and

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Speaker 1: my ambitions and what flourishing as a human looks like

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Speaker 1: for me, Like they really care, and I've got time

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Speaker 1: under tension with them. The second thing is that they've

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Speaker 1: been in the arena. They understand pressure. They understand what

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Speaker 1: it takes to get to the edge publicly or privately

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Speaker 1: and stay in that agitated state in an honest way,

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Speaker 1: because that's what's required for breakthroughs. So to get on

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Speaker 1: my roundtable, for me to care about your opinion, there's

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Speaker 1: an earned scar tissue together. And it's that tenderness of

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Speaker 1: caring that they've demonstrated and in return, hopefully I'm doing

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Speaker 1: the same gift for them. And they've been in it,

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Speaker 1: they understand quote unquote it. So I do think that

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Speaker 1: people's opinions do matter now outside of the roundtable if

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Speaker 1: you will, And that's a good exercise. Who's at your roundtable.

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Speaker 1: It's a really good exercise just to go through that.

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Speaker 1: And I think you'd be surprised some of the people

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Speaker 1: at the roundtable. You might feel like, wow, that person

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Speaker 1: should be there because it's my parent. But if there's

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Speaker 1: only eight seats, who are the ones that you really

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Speaker 1: care about? So it's a hard, good exercise. And then second,

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Speaker 1: you know, the second layer is where it gets tricky,

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Speaker 1: which is like the college admissions advisor, the producer, or

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Speaker 1: who's ever responsible for budget negotiation. Those opinions do matter,

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Speaker 1: but if you're not true to yourself, you're playing their

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Speaker 1: game and for their approval as opposed to working from

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Speaker 1: the inside out and being true to your ideas, being

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Speaker 1: true to the way that you are wanting to experience

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Speaker 1: the world. I want that back to your eight people here, Okay,

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Speaker 1: people the roundtable?

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Speaker 2: Are these eight people that you look at and go, okay,

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Speaker 2: No matter what I know, I'm walking this walk together

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Speaker 2: and they got my fucking back or is it? Hey,

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Speaker 2: I got eight people and they may be screwed up too,

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Speaker 2: but they're still at that table. I may not get

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Speaker 2: what I need back from them, but I love them

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Speaker 2: this much that they're at that table.

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Speaker 1: You can make up the rules. The purpose is is like,

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Speaker 1: whose opinions are you going to deeply value? And I

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Speaker 1: need some sturdiness for me. I need to know that

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Speaker 1: their opinion is not going to be flippant, it's going

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Speaker 1: to be honest, it's real, it's in context of my

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Speaker 1: unique history and all of my pain and the brilliance

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Speaker 1: of how I'm trying to see the future. I need

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Speaker 1: them to have context because I could walk down the

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Speaker 1: street and say, a j black shirt. Really you wear

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Speaker 1: black shirt again? Come on, man, But you're like, I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you've been traumatized by your bullied because

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Speaker 1: you were purple and pink and blue shirts when you're young. Like,

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Speaker 1: so like, the opinion doesn't shouldn't hold much weight because

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Speaker 1: I don't know your traumas and histories and unique life experiences.

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Speaker 1: So for me, those people, those eight yes, they have

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Speaker 1: my back, meaning that they under they put in time,

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Speaker 1: under tension to demonstrate how much they actually care. So

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Speaker 1: I'm going to in return, hopefully be able to honor

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Speaker 1: the opinions that they're sharing, so that those are the

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Speaker 1: ones those are the eight for me?

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Speaker 2: It's also so also people are going to call me,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, my shit basically, that's it.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly it. Yeah, and just calling it out of

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Speaker 1: context is like kind of weak, right, But if they

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Speaker 1: know you and that you've built the relationship where they

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Speaker 1: can be honest with you, you might put them at

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Speaker 1: the roundtable.