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Speaker 1: This is the intergalactic John. This is Alien Sam on

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Speaker 1: the International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some

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Speaker 1: human stories coming up, not alien.

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Speaker 2: But before we make a landing, stick around for this

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Speaker 2: two minute not alien ad break before we get to

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Speaker 2: these interstellar stories.

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Speaker 1: My husband keeps interfering in issues that aren't his. So

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Speaker 1: I told them all beday and he can't see.

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Speaker 3: These are all my issues, you daddy.

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Speaker 1: Why are you bothering me with my issues? These are mine. I,

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Speaker 1: twenty seven female, and my husband, twenty seven male, just

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Speaker 1: had an argument, if you could call it that. So,

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Speaker 1: my brother just got a job and it's great, except

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Speaker 1: he just got thrown into single fatherhood immediately after. He

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Speaker 1: has a daughter, my niece, who is about six months

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Speaker 1: old and has knowing a babysit here while he works

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Speaker 1: as the mother suddenly isn't in the picture. He called

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Speaker 1: me asking if I could watch the baby during the

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Speaker 1: week while he works only for a few weeks, since

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Speaker 1: he knows I'm a stay at home mom myself. By

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Speaker 1: the way, this comes from user star hates You, and

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Speaker 1: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 1: the r slash Okay Storytime subreddit. So I would have

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Speaker 1: said yes, but I can't. I am pregnant and have

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Speaker 1: two young kids of my own, one of which does

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Speaker 1: school from home, and I have to do it with her,

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Speaker 1: which we are still getting the hang up because we

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Speaker 1: just moved. By the time i'd prepare for that, he

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Speaker 1: wouldn't need the help anymore. He understood and asked if

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Speaker 1: I knew anyone personally who could help, because he was

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Speaker 1: out of people to ask and wanted to try to

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Speaker 1: avoid daycares as he just didn't trust it. He said

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Speaker 1: he would pay and cover everything, but he just urgently

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Speaker 1: needed someone, and I said I'd ask around. I don't

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Speaker 1: really have friends, and I don't know many people in general,

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Speaker 1: as I'm very introverted. But my sister in law twenty five,

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Speaker 1: lives with us and was just telling me how she

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Speaker 1: needed a job and needed money. So I proposed the

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Speaker 1: idea to her. She immediately agreed, and so I put

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Speaker 1: her and my brother in a group had to talk

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Speaker 1: as well, as brought my brother over to the house

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Speaker 1: to have a face to face chat about it. Now

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Speaker 1: they're not strangers, of course, they've met before, so it

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Speaker 1: wasn't awkward. They talked about the baby, what was needed,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. My brother didn't have a long term plan

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Speaker 1: mapped out right then since everything was so abrupt, But

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Speaker 1: my sister in law was understanding and said she'd quote

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Speaker 1: be okay with whatever, and that was that. I'm not

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Speaker 1: sure of other details as they text on their own,

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Speaker 1: and it isn't really my deal. It was up to them. Ultimately,

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Speaker 1: it came down to my brother ubering my sister in

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Speaker 1: law to his house early in the morning and then

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Speaker 1: dropping her off at home and seeing how things go,

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Speaker 1: which she agreed to. Everything seemed fine until the day up.

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Speaker 1: My husband came into our room and blindsided me with

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Speaker 1: all these complaints on her behalf. He said my sister

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Speaker 1: in law had not eaten since the morning, that she

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Speaker 1: wasn't comfortable and she was tired, and that she didn't

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Speaker 1: even need to be there because other people were home

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Speaker 1: and could have watched the baby, and that they only

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Speaker 1: gave her one hundred dollars blah blah blah, et cetera,

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Speaker 1: et cetera.

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Speaker 4: Is he coming in and being like, oh my god,

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Speaker 4: I just got like all of these things, or is

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Speaker 4: he like, oh, pe, sister in law doesn't even need

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Speaker 4: a bit, she's uncomfortable.

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Speaker 1: That one, because that's crazy. That one.

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Speaker 4: If I I'll be like, oh, okay, let's feed her. Geez,

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Speaker 4: are you angry too?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Do you need a stack too?

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Speaker 1: I'd yeah, I'd I'd be asking where he first of all,

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Speaker 1: who he thought he was? Who do you think you are? Anyway?

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Speaker 1: I was confused because I spoke to sister in law

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Speaker 1: while she was there to check in on her, and

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Speaker 1: she said everything was fine. So I told him she

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Speaker 1: didn't say any of those things to me, and I

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Speaker 1: asked her and she said she wasn't complaining to him.

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Speaker 1: So I said to him bluntly, so she's not complaining,

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Speaker 1: you are complaining for her, And he said, yeah, Oh.

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Speaker 4: That's even worse.

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Speaker 1: I told him I was confused because he was throwing

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Speaker 1: it all at me as if it's my responsibility, and

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Speaker 1: that sister in law and my brother are two adults

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Speaker 1: who made their own deal. That was up to her

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Speaker 1: and she agreed to it. Nobody was forcing her to

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Speaker 1: do this. If she was uncomfortable or anything, all she

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Speaker 1: had to do was say it. He continued to repeat

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Speaker 1: the complaints and said, do I have to get involved?

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Speaker 1: I told him the deal doesn't involve him, or me

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Speaker 1: for that matter, And I don't understand why he's the

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Speaker 1: only one upset here when it has nothing to do

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Speaker 1: with him.

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Speaker 4: Also, the door, I have to get involved? So condescending?

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Speaker 5: Do I have to get involved? Man have to get

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Speaker 5: involved here?

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Speaker 1: Involved? And it looked like the man might have to

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Speaker 1: be involved now hood over your face is about to

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Speaker 1: get involved with my fist. Sir, you single handedly walked

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Speaker 1: in and made everything worse. I wouldn't do that, though,

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Speaker 1: so he told me he can't even have a conversation

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Speaker 1: with me and left the room. I'm genuinely confused. Am

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Speaker 1: I missing something here? My sister in law is also

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Speaker 1: confused as to why he even got worked up to

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Speaker 1: begin with. Am I the ahle comment number one? Not

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Speaker 1: the a hole? Did he forget that his sister is

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Speaker 1: a grown woman, one who can speak up for herself

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Speaker 1: if she was uncomfortable, and even then she would address

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Speaker 1: her concerns with your brother, not you, since neither of

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Speaker 1: you were involved in the deal. They discussed, Maybe he's

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Speaker 1: misplacing his anger. Ask him about it, especially since even

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Speaker 1: his sister seems just as confused. Oh, he says, that's

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Speaker 1: what I said. They're adults. It's my brother, but not

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Speaker 1: my deal. My only involvement was getting them to talk

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Speaker 1: about my brother's offer. I'm not sure where the anger

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Speaker 1: is from or why he even was upset about it.

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Speaker 1: I'm enter two says, is your husband on good terms

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Speaker 1: with your brother? Ope says yeah, as far as I know.

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Speaker 1: My brother is the one who even helped us move

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Speaker 1: to our new house. They have zero problems with each other.

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Speaker 1: This is weird as f to me. Why is he

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Speaker 1: so concerned about his sister. She needed a job. You

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Speaker 1: got her a job. If she worked for a regular employer,

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Speaker 1: would he call her boss and complain for her? What's

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Speaker 1: he expect his pregnant wife to do. I don't know, man,

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Speaker 1: this is weird and do I need to get involved? No,

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Speaker 1: you need to cut the cord. Weirdo yeah ohp he says, yeah.

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Speaker 1: I mean he threw it at me, like trying to

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Speaker 1: make it seem like I don't care about my sister

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Speaker 1: in law or like something was my fault that I

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Speaker 1: needed to correct. But he was the only one upset.

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Speaker 1: My sister in law says, she never complained, So I

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Speaker 1: just don't get why I'm the bad guy in this argument.

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Speaker 1: Quote unquote comment to four, why does sister in law

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Speaker 1: live with you? I don't think you're the a hole here,

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Speaker 1: but it is very peculiar the stance he's taking very weird.

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Speaker 1: Oh he says, she was in a harmful space before

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Speaker 1: and had nowhere to go, so we of course took

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Speaker 1: her in. She and I are super close, so it

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Speaker 1: was really no issue with me. I just don't know

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Speaker 1: why he randomly started this mess when it didn't even

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Speaker 1: involve him. There's an update from two days after the

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Speaker 1: original post. Do we have any theories?

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Speaker 4: I don't know, Like that's what I'm trying to think.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, maybe someone else's attack, Like what about the

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Speaker 4: brother in law? His brother is saying something about it,

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Speaker 4: and he's just passing down the stress. I don't know.

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Speaker 4: I feel like this is someone he's redirecting the stress.

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Speaker 1: This definitely does feel like a chain of command type

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Speaker 1: issue here, where it's like, no, don't ask me about it.

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Speaker 1: It's going down the line until it's fine in its home.

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Speaker 1: I guess in with his pregnant wife, yeah wow, just

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Speaker 1: adding the kicker that it's like the pregnancy. I don't

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Speaker 1: know if this guy's too brave or too supid or

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Speaker 1: both to talk to your pregnant wife like that. So,

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Speaker 1: since I spoke with sister in law and husband separately

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Speaker 1: and got nowhere, I finally got the chance to sit

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Speaker 1: them down together. I was calm and respectful the entire

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Speaker 1: time and flat out said, okay, so in regards to

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Speaker 1: the babysitting gig, what's going on? What issues are there

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Speaker 1: and where are they coming from? Husband made a scoffing

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Speaker 1: sound ough and looked annoyed, but did speak up. I

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Speaker 1: turned to my sister in law and asked her bluntly,

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Speaker 1: do you have any complaints, concerns, or problems with the

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Speaker 1: arrangement you and my brother made for the babysitting. She

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Speaker 1: said absolutely not. I asked her, are you sure did

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Speaker 1: you say anything to husband that says otherwise? It's completely

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Speaker 1: fine if you did, but you have to speak up

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Speaker 1: for yourself and talk about it, even to me, if

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Speaker 1: not my brother. She said, I honestly have no issues

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Speaker 1: and I didn't complain to anybody, I swear. Then we

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Speaker 1: looked at husband. She told him that she was fine

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Speaker 1: with the arrangements and had no complaints. Then she asked

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Speaker 1: him why he made a scene for no reason. He

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Speaker 1: got defensive and said, nobody said you were complaining. It

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Speaker 1: just doesn't make sense to me. There's no point in

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Speaker 1: you doing it, and it's not convenient. Are you even

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Speaker 1: getting paid good? I sat there trying to understand why

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Speaker 1: he was getting so defensive, and sister in law shot

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Speaker 1: back at him, telling him it was in his business

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Speaker 1: and it didn't have to make sense to him, echoing

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Speaker 1: the exact thing I'd said in the first place, that

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Speaker 1: it had nothing to do with him, and that she

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Speaker 1: didn't appreciate him doing this without a good reason. He said,

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Speaker 1: he does have a reason, and when we asked what

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Speaker 1: the reason was, he said, because it doesn't make sense

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Speaker 1: to me. I calmly asked him which part didn't make

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Speaker 1: sense to him, and why was he so bothered by

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Speaker 1: it when it does not affect his or our daily

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Speaker 1: life in any that it didn't have to make sense

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Speaker 1: to him because it isn't his arrangement, and he got angry.

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Speaker 1: He stood up from his seat, rambling something about how

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Speaker 1: we were ganging up on him and that we weren't

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Speaker 1: going to make him the bad guy, and that nobody listened.

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Speaker 3: Nobody.

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Speaker 4: Everyone's like, so, let's talk about your feelings.

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Speaker 1: No one listened to me, No one ever wants to

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Speaker 1: talk about my feelings.

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Speaker 4: Let's talk about that right now.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, uh I can't, he said, Do I

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Speaker 1: need to be involved? Gets directly involved? Well wait, no,

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Speaker 1: let's know what he meant. Me and sister in law

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Speaker 1: Jess looked at him while he rambled, and she was

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Speaker 1: just as lost as me. I still very calmly asked him,

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Speaker 1: what do you want out of this? And why did

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Speaker 1: he keep trying to involve himself when sister in law

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Speaker 1: clearly said just now that she is happy with the agreement.

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Speaker 1: He said, nobody effing uses their brain around here but me,

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Speaker 1: I guess and walked out. Mister, nobody effing uses their

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Speaker 1: brain around here but me, I guess, And then he

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Speaker 1: walked out. I don't know about y'all, but I'm nobody

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Speaker 1: kiss her, And I definitely wasn't about to chase after

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Speaker 1: him or baby him. He was being completely ridiculous, in

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Speaker 1: my opinion, so we let him go and that was it.

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Speaker 1: About an hour later, he came back and started saying

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Speaker 1: things under his breath, like my own wife just let

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Speaker 1: me walk out, and she doesn't even care about me.

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Speaker 1: Even they hate me, they hate column Colem, they don't

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Speaker 1: even care about columb column.

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Speaker 4: That's what happened.

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Speaker 1: That was And then that's when I realized I was

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Speaker 1: married to a seven hundred and eighty year old, cave

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Speaker 1: dwelling troll. That's when I realized, not even a troll,

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Speaker 1: just like a you've really liked my ring? Yeah, that's

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Speaker 1: what I realized. He was really obsessed with this ring

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Speaker 1: that I found. So she's she doesn't even care about me,

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Speaker 1: and I guess it's just f me. I guess I

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Speaker 1: just don't matter. While sighing and dragging it out, I

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Speaker 1: ignored all of that because grow up, dude. And he

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Speaker 1: came into the room and said, so, you have nothing

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Speaker 1: to say to me? So I said, nope. We tried

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Speaker 1: to address things and you decided to storm off. So

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Speaker 1: that's that. I think you're being dramatic and that's a

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Speaker 1: you problem. He then called me inconsiderate and selfish and

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Speaker 1: he left. Well I don't know what I'm supposed to

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Speaker 1: do there or what he's expecting. But there's the update, guys,

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Speaker 1: and there's an edit. Blah blah blah. Okay, now there's

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Speaker 1: just another post. Okay, here's some relevant more comments. So

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Speaker 1: comment one says he thinks your brother is taking advantage

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Speaker 1: of his sister's kindness. He may not trust or like

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Speaker 1: your brother. He may worry they'll develop a romantic relationship.

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Speaker 1: Either way, he needs to grow the f up and

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Speaker 1: use his grown up words. I have zero tolerance for

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Speaker 1: grown men that throw temper tantrums, so op says, I

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00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,360
Speaker 1: can't gauge it at all, and at this point, I

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Speaker 1: don't even care because it's just flat out ridiculous. We

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Speaker 1: are all adults. My brother pays sister in law handsomely,

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Speaker 1: even paying for her rides to and from home, which

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Speaker 1: is portal to portal, and that is hard to find.

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Speaker 1: Aside from texting about the baby or the arrangement, they

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Speaker 1: don't really talk, and sister in law is an open sappok.

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Speaker 1: I tried to ask him nicely instead of being rude

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Speaker 1: and invalidating whatever his problem was, but he couldn't even

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Speaker 1: handle that. Now I'm so over it that I don't

255
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Speaker 1: even care what his problem is anymore. Come at number

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Speaker 1: two question, Op, does your husband contribute with housework and childcare,

257
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Speaker 1: et cetera? Could it be that he is pissed off

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Speaker 1: that his sister who lives with you is now no

259
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Speaker 1: longer available to help him with his contribution to the household,

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Speaker 1: cleaning and childcare.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I'm finally understanding the family layout here, because I

262
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:32,960
Speaker 4: think I had it wrong the whole time. It's Opie's

263
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Speaker 4: husband's sister and Opie's brother.

264
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,559
Speaker 1: Had an agreement, had an agreement.

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Speaker 4: Where sister baby sits for the brother. I finally understand

266
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,240
Speaker 4: the plot of the story. But are they babysitting at

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Speaker 4: the brother's house continuing on and the sister lives with

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Speaker 4: Ope and her husband.

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Speaker 5: It's it's all coming again.

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Speaker 1: That's the only thing I can think of as to

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Speaker 1: why he would be pissed off that he guilted his

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Speaker 1: sister into helping out with the house and kids as

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00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:00,360
Speaker 1: part of her renting board, and now now that she

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Speaker 1: has a paying job, his freemaid is gone. Hope, he says,

275
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Speaker 1: not really, I do the cooking, cleaning, and childcare on

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Speaker 1: my own. Comment with three he says, He says, nobody

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Speaker 1: uses their brain except him, Yet he's the only one

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Speaker 1: who can't verbalize whatever's going on in his head. Your

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00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:16,199
Speaker 1: husband needs a therapist so he can learn some different

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Speaker 1: ways to progress. Towards his goals instead of tantrums and

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00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,600
Speaker 1: woe is Me guilt trips. And there's another update here,

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Speaker 1: update number two. Hello once again. I know a lot

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Speaker 1: of you wanted to know what happened. With all the

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Speaker 1: support from you, guys, I feel I do owe you

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Speaker 1: that things have happened, and I needed time to be

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Speaker 1: alone and gather myself. In process, my husband kept on

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Speaker 1: with the attitude, the side comments under his breath, and

288
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,240
Speaker 1: just being generally weird. I gave no reaction and ignored

289
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,679
Speaker 1: this because I got better things to give my energy

290
00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:48,920
Speaker 1: to go off queen, like my pregnancy and my two children. Anyway,

291
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,600
Speaker 1: I was cleaning and my husband decided to confront me

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Speaker 1: and ask me, why am I acting this way?

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00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:54,880
Speaker 4: That's so funny?

294
00:13:55,040 --> 00:14:00,920
Speaker 1: I would laugh, a hahaha, ha are you off? My husband?

295
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,840
Speaker 1: Who are you? I asked him what he meant, and

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Speaker 1: he said that I'm being some kind of way towards him,

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Speaker 1: and I simply told him I absolute effingolutely will not

298
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,400
Speaker 1: coddle him for an attitude that doesn't make sense for

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00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:17,079
Speaker 1: him to have. He got upset, rambling about how as

300
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:19,080
Speaker 1: his wife, it should matter to me that he's upset

301
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,080
Speaker 1: and I said, I have done nothing to him, and

302
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,840
Speaker 1: I gave him chances to explain what's wrong and he didn't,

303
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 1: So no, it's not my responsibility to fix whatever is

304
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,280
Speaker 1: wrong with him. He said this was all my fault,

305
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,600
Speaker 1: and I asked him, what is my fault? I've done

306
00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 1: nothing but take care of our kids and our home

307
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,200
Speaker 1: as well as him. I told him that he made

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00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,720
Speaker 1: no sense, that nobody did anything to him, not me,

309
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,000
Speaker 1: not my brother, not sister in law, no one, that

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Speaker 1: I wasn't going to deal with his attitude at all,

311
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Speaker 1: and that he could find somewhere else to stay if

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00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 1: he wasn't gonna cut it out. He sat down and said,

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00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,000
Speaker 1: that's what I'm talking about, saying that my lack of

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00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:01,840
Speaker 1: giving a crap and my no nonsense attitude is upsetting

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00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:08,600
Speaker 1: to him. This guy's projecting brothers projecting something. Brother brother,

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00:15:08,680 --> 00:15:13,560
Speaker 1: here's the goalpost. Whoa, you just moved it way somewhere else.

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00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:15,040
Speaker 1: What are you talking about?

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00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:20,800
Speaker 4: No nonsense? You are full of nonsense. Julia leons. This

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00:15:20,840 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 4: guy is trying to get his wife to fight.

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Speaker 1: I gues he est to.

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Speaker 4: Fight for no reason.

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00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,200
Speaker 3: You don't even.

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00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:27,440
Speaker 1: Care he's doing pick me.

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00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's like whatever, so whatever.

325
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:31,000
Speaker 1: I guess you don't care that your husband has the

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00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:33,760
Speaker 1: personality profile of the fifteen year old girl who just

327
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:34,280
Speaker 1: got like.

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Speaker 5: Don't play here we go.

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Speaker 1: I asked him why I would be wanting to put

330
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 1: up with bs, especially while pregnant, and why would that

331
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,000
Speaker 1: bother him? He started all this drama over something that

332
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:47,560
Speaker 1: had nothing to do with him, and then it came.

333
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:51,240
Speaker 1: He took a deep breath and broke down with confession.

334
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:57,160
Speaker 1: After confession, he admitted that he had an affair. He

335
00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:02,080
Speaker 1: admitted that he had installed camera in our home without

336
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:05,440
Speaker 1: telling me, in hopes I'd do something so he could

337
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,640
Speaker 1: use it as defense.

338
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,160
Speaker 4: All of the people in the chat who were saying

339
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:13,040
Speaker 4: affair were freaking riot. Wow, this man was projecting.

340
00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:14,000
Speaker 1: That's so wild.

341
00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:19,240
Speaker 4: I uh, this man was projecting louder than a theater

342
00:16:19,440 --> 00:16:23,560
Speaker 4: kid in a musical, and they do project a project man.

343
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,480
Speaker 1: And that he'd figured out the woman he cheated with

344
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,520
Speaker 1: knew my brother, which is why he freaked about sister

345
00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:35,200
Speaker 1: in law working for him. A delicate little web of

346
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,880
Speaker 1: lies was woven, wasn't it. He admitted he started drama

347
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,560
Speaker 1: to create an argument on purpose, to give him a

348
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,000
Speaker 1: reason to feel justified, and my calm reactions for everything

349
00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,600
Speaker 1: made it impossible for him. It bothered him that I

350
00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:52,400
Speaker 1: never did anything wrong because he had done something wrong

351
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,600
Speaker 1: and couldn't shift any blame. I could barely react. I

352
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 1: kind of just looked up at him. My stomach was hurting.

353
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:01,280
Speaker 1: I just couldn't wrap around any of it. He told

354
00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:03,040
Speaker 1: me he was sorry, that he's a piece of crap

355
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,040
Speaker 1: and he doesn't know why he did it, but he

356
00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:08,240
Speaker 1: loves me, tearing himself down, and I just told him

357
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,080
Speaker 1: to stop talking. I calmly said to remove whatever camera

358
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:14,600
Speaker 1: he installed and to find somewhere else to stay. Pride

359
00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:16,560
Speaker 1: and begged, and I shut it down. He asked if

360
00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 1: I was going to tell sister in law, you're worried

361
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:21,960
Speaker 1: about me telling people or what other people are gonna

362
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,400
Speaker 1: think of you, instead of worrying about the effing damage

363
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,439
Speaker 1: you've just done to our family. He left, but wouldn't

364
00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,280
Speaker 1: stop calling me, trying to talk. Suddenly he wants to

365
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,520
Speaker 1: have a conversation. Huh, how funny. I put my phone

366
00:17:34,560 --> 00:17:37,080
Speaker 1: on silent and went to play with my kids, trying

367
00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,400
Speaker 1: to be normal, to shield them from it. I didn't

368
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:41,640
Speaker 1: want them to see me upset. This is pretty rough.

369
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,720
Speaker 1: You've got kids involved, Clearly you're leaving him. I would

370
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:46,160
Speaker 1: support that absolutely.

371
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Speaker 4: I mean, at least you're hopefully his sister's still around. Yeah, libs,

372
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,160
Speaker 4: she can help babysit your kids, lean.

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Speaker 1: On the family that was there for you.

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Speaker 4: Yes, your your husband is a terrible person, and it

375
00:17:58,040 --> 00:18:00,200
Speaker 4: feels like his sister probably would take your high.

376
00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:02,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, which is probably why he was concerned about it.

377
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:06,359
Speaker 1: I would let that cat out of the bag, you know,

378
00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:09,720
Speaker 1: let the family know, Hey, I'm divorcing him. However, he's

379
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:12,200
Speaker 1: still the father of these kids and you are still

380
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:15,480
Speaker 1: their family, so I don't want to just ice you

381
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 1: all out of the children's lives, and probably approaching it

382
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 1: that way I think would be best because then it

383
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,119
Speaker 1: doesn't sound like hey, I need you to take care

384
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 1: of my kids exactly. It's more just like love to

385
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:28,800
Speaker 1: open door policy to like be part of a loving

386
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 1: family here. Yeah, your choice. Also, babysit my kids on Thursdays?

387
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:33,000
Speaker 3: Thank you?

388
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:34,720
Speaker 4: Can you pick them up after school?

389
00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:37,679
Speaker 1: Please finish Let's finish it off. I put my kids

390
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,080
Speaker 1: to bed and cried it out. We've been together since

391
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:45,160
Speaker 1: we were like fifty. I've never cheated on him. Ever,

392
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:49,040
Speaker 1: we're approaching thirty, Like, what type of crap is that.

393
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:51,800
Speaker 1: I've never had a trust issue with him before. I'm

394
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:54,400
Speaker 1: not a phone snooper. I just don't do things like that.

395
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: And I didn't have a reason for why he's never

396
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:59,600
Speaker 1: behaved like this before. Maybe he's cheated before and I

397
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: just don't know about it. I don't even care to know.

398
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,400
Speaker 1: One time is enough for me. Yeah, I want a divorce.

399
00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:08,440
Speaker 1: I will be fair about it. I will not turn

400
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 1: our children against him. I won't drag it out, but

401
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,960
Speaker 1: I am done. Thanks for listening, guys, and then it's

402
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,760
Speaker 1: gonna be brighter on the other side of that, op

403
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:20,679
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah you've got some comments here. Yeah, he

404
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,520
Speaker 1: wanted a reason to make you the villain so he

405
00:19:22,560 --> 00:19:24,879
Speaker 1: could say, well, she acted like this or spoke to

406
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:27,560
Speaker 1: me like this, That's why I cheated. I tell everyone

407
00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,720
Speaker 1: and tell your brother about the woman he knows who

408
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,479
Speaker 1: was banging your husband. I'd block his number and use

409
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,360
Speaker 1: sister in law as a go to when he can

410
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:38,320
Speaker 1: come and collect the kids for visitation. I know it's hard,

411
00:19:38,359 --> 00:19:41,359
Speaker 1: but don't take him back. This man tried to manipulate

412
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,920
Speaker 1: you into being the villain so it would justify him

413
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:47,200
Speaker 1: effing another woman. A commentary two says you should absolutely

414
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,280
Speaker 1: tell your sister in law she's been filmed without her

415
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 1: permission for god knows how long while living with you guys. Yeah,

416
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,199
Speaker 1: she absolutely deserves to know this. Get your ducks in

417
00:19:56,200 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 1: a rows, start separating finances, get your important paperwork together,

418
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,480
Speaker 1: Consult a lawyer. That's what you do. But there's a

419
00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: lot to prepare, and you need to get started now

420
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 1: before the baby comes. Also, make sure someone is around

421
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 1: to help after the baby comes, because you cannot allow

422
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 1: yourself to depend on the man that cheated on you

423
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: and tried to make you the bad guy. Absolutely, that

424
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 1: is the end of that story. Yeah, it's true. It's

425
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 1: gonna take a lot of work to come out of this.

426
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 4: In a good way.

427
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,720
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's an interesting angle I haven't thought of

428
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 1: where it's like, you know, not only it's like, yeah,

429
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,919
Speaker 1: you lose the help of like that, he can't be

430
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 1: there just completely. Yeah, but hey, you you're gonna make

431
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 1: it through. Not your fault, Ope, definitely.

432
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:39,960
Speaker 4: I mean you handle everything perfectly. Honestly. My husband's boss

433
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:43,159
Speaker 4: claim they had enough there, but I refuse to believe it.

434
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,360
Speaker 1: Believe it. I might probably do that as well. My guy,

435
00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:47,040
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

436
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,840
Speaker 4: My husband and I went through a bit of a

437
00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:52,040
Speaker 4: rough patch financially speaking a while ago. Luckily he's got

438
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:56,080
Speaker 4: a good job now and we're happy. But but right

439
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:59,399
Speaker 4: there by the way. This comes from no Sime Sican

440
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:02,119
Speaker 4: mom and if you want to submit your own stories,

441
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,760
Speaker 4: going to our slash oaky story Tende separate. So he

442
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,280
Speaker 4: got a job thanks to an old female coworker, may

443
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:10,560
Speaker 4: I add, and he was very grateful. She's his direct

444
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 4: boss now, and that's why I'm in a bit of

445
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,000
Speaker 4: a pickle. He has been in this new job for

446
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:18,119
Speaker 4: a few months and everything seemed good. The job is

447
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,800
Speaker 4: mostly remote, but he has to occasionally travel to another

448
00:21:20,840 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 4: city to meet with clients or his boss. Let's call

449
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 4: her Rebecca. I love that name. It makes for a

450
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:30,719
Speaker 4: good villain or protagonist, you decide. Rebecca calls him regularly.

451
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,119
Speaker 4: Nothing weird there. She's his boss. Sometimes he'll put her

452
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,959
Speaker 4: on speaker if he's doing something like making coffee, cooking

453
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,119
Speaker 4: or cleaning. So I've heard their interactions and they're pretty normal.

454
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:42,240
Speaker 4: She doesn't call him after hours. And my husband is

455
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 4: the sort of guy who goes to sleep around eightish.

456
00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:46,720
Speaker 4: I'm the one who stays up later than he does,

457
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:50,480
Speaker 4: which is why this has me very confused. Yesterday, my

458
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,040
Speaker 4: husband had to travel yet again for work. He arrived

459
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 4: at the city early, called me after his meeting. I

460
00:21:55,520 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 4: went about my day and we talked again in the

461
00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,480
Speaker 4: evening when he was back at home. Mind you, he

462
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 4: stays with his sister and husband, so he's pretty much

463
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,720
Speaker 4: accounted for at all times. I don't think Rebecca knew

464
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:07,040
Speaker 4: that he was staying with relatives. By the way, today,

465
00:22:07,119 --> 00:22:09,280
Speaker 4: my husband called me as soon as he got up.

466
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 4: We talked for a bit and he told me he

467
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 4: was going to pick up some things from the office

468
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 4: and head home. A while ago, he sent me his

469
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,520
Speaker 4: location when he hit the road, and that's where he's

470
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 4: at right now, around three hours of travel. Rebecca contacted

471
00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 4: me almost as soon as my husband hit the road,

472
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,520
Speaker 4: which I'm beginning to think was her plan all along.

473
00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 4: She sent a long text telling me that my husband

474
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 4: has been making advances at her and that she was

475
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:33,639
Speaker 4: very sorry to inform me that he had been unfaithful

476
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:35,639
Speaker 4: to me with her, that she felt awful knowing that

477
00:22:35,680 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 4: we were parents, and that it was her guilt which

478
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,600
Speaker 4: urged her to reach out to me and tell me

479
00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:43,120
Speaker 4: the truth. I was, as one would expect, speechless and

480
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 4: confused by her message. I firstly thanked her for her message,

481
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 4: you know, trying to be supportive of who I thought

482
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,679
Speaker 4: was a brave woman speaking of and I asked her

483
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,480
Speaker 4: when everything had happened and if she had any proof,

484
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 4: And this is where things got kind of messy. She

485
00:22:56,960 --> 00:22:59,600
Speaker 4: sent me screenshots of a conversation that dated a few

486
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 4: weeks bare Trier and the picture on the screenshots was

487
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 4: the same that my husband has, but the way he

488
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 4: wrote was strange. My husband is very careful about his punctuation,

489
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 4: almost to a fault, and those texts were plagued with mistakes.

490
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: I just love that, OPI's like, I know, that's not

491
00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,320
Speaker 1: my husband's sentence periods.

492
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 4: He also supposedly sent a lot of emojis of hearts,

493
00:23:22,680 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 4: the eggplant, the peach at a fire, and I mean,

494
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 4: not that it's anyone's business, but he doesn't do that.

495
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 4: He hates writing with emojis or sending stickers o.

496
00:23:31,720 --> 00:23:36,360
Speaker 1: He politely being like I despise people who write with emojis.

497
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 4: He has told me that words are enough to communicate

498
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 4: and that emojis are lazy or a way to soften

499
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:42,880
Speaker 4: up the blow. His words, not mine.

500
00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: Calm down, somebody's an English major.

501
00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,840
Speaker 4: I actually love emojis. I think emojis are garry.

502
00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,560
Speaker 1: I'm just putting you on blasts.

503
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,479
Speaker 4: And emojis are a great way to get the emotion.

504
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree.

505
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,119
Speaker 4: My dad figured out how to use emojis.

506
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 1: Okay, but all right.

507
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 4: I mean he could be using emojis with a lover,

508
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:05,680
Speaker 4: but how would I know? But that struck me odd Finally,

509
00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 4: she told me that he had gone to his hotel

510
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 4: the previous night at his insistence. I know for a

511
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,960
Speaker 4: fact that can't be true, because he called me from

512
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 4: his sister's home yesterday and even put me on speakers

513
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,000
Speaker 4: so I could say hi to sister in law and

514
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 4: brother in law. But Rebecca even put the name of

515
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,000
Speaker 4: the hotel in her text. She was being very specific,

516
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:25,560
Speaker 4: as if trying to prove that she had receipts. I

517
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,479
Speaker 4: asked her what time they were at his hotel, and

518
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,560
Speaker 4: she blew up at me, telling me that it was

519
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:32,359
Speaker 4: victim shaming her, questioning her when she was just being honest,

520
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 4: and that she didn't have to tell me at all,

521
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:36,200
Speaker 4: but that she was doing it out of sorority, and

522
00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:38,399
Speaker 4: that she has sent me proof about his infidelity and

523
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,080
Speaker 4: so on. Since she's his boss. I didn't push it further.

524
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,320
Speaker 4: I simply thanked her and didn't ask anything else.

525
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:44,560
Speaker 1: Here's the thing.

526
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 4: I don't think he cheated on me. I think Rebecca's

527
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:49,000
Speaker 4: making this whole thing up.

528
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 3: Why.

529
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 4: My best guess is that she's got a crush on

530
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:54,480
Speaker 4: him or something. But I'm wondering if I'm being naive.

531
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,960
Speaker 4: I want to speak to my husband, obviously, but how

532
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,439
Speaker 4: do I approach this. My biggest fear, to be honest,

533
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,560
Speaker 4: is for him to lose his job over this. Oh wait, yeah,

534
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 4: she's his boss, he's his direct boss.

535
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,879
Speaker 1: H she's not victims.

536
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,280
Speaker 4: Again, I'm having a hard time believing you would cheat

537
00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:10,480
Speaker 4: on me.

538
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:11,760
Speaker 3: Am I being too native.

539
00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,560
Speaker 4: No, I think you're being smart.

540
00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:17,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, whatever she says I agree with. Don't think she's

541
00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 1: being smart. Yeah, No, she's smart. She's really smart. Keep

542
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:23,680
Speaker 1: that elbow away from me. First of all, OP is

543
00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 1: a very self assured OPI is very secure. An insecure

544
00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 1: person would probably get that and immediately be like, oh

545
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 1: my god, I know what you did, blah blah, blah blah.

546
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 1: But she was like, she was like, let me read this.

547
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:40,280
Speaker 1: Put on my a Conan Doyle Batman combo hat. Yeah,

548
00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 1: she's the two greatest detectives.

549
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:46,760
Speaker 3: Never uses emojis, Yes, couldn't him?

550
00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:49,920
Speaker 1: She used a period? A period was used here when

551
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,159
Speaker 1: I know my husband would use a semi colon.

552
00:25:54,119 --> 00:25:56,360
Speaker 4: First of all, thank you for all your advice. Being

553
00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:59,200
Speaker 4: the anxious creature I am, I spent the best half

554
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:03,160
Speaker 4: of afternoon searching laws in Mexico regarding relationships between bosses

555
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 4: and subordinates. Turns out, consensual relationships are not illegal in

556
00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 4: Mexico unless the company states so, but contacting any family

557
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 4: member of the employee for any personal matter is considered

558
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 4: intimidation in the workplace, and of course, in the case

559
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 4: where nothing happened, it's also spicy related intimidation and should

560
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 4: be reported. Now that being said, how things should happen

561
00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,560
Speaker 4: and how they actually happen are often two very different

562
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,320
Speaker 4: situations in Mexico. Sorry, but that's the truth about my

563
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 4: beloved country. As a note, someone asked why he sent

564
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 4: his location for safety reasons. We always send each other

565
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,359
Speaker 4: our location when we go out of the house for

566
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,560
Speaker 4: more than half an hour. His family does the same

567
00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,480
Speaker 4: in mine too. I don't know if it's a paranoid

568
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 4: thing to do, but we feel somehow safer. So without

569
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:46,720
Speaker 4: further ado, I followed some of your advice. I took

570
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:49,840
Speaker 4: screenshots of everything. I don't know if she'll delete some.

571
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 4: I spoke to sister in law and asked her if

572
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:54,080
Speaker 4: he had, for whatever reason, left her home at some

573
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:57,120
Speaker 4: point during the night. He didn't. He cooked pasta for them,

574
00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:59,199
Speaker 4: took a shower, and put on pajamas, and went to

575
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 4: sleep early. Sounds like him to be honest. When he arrived,

576
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,479
Speaker 4: we had lunched. He played with the kids, acted normal,

577
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:07,560
Speaker 4: nothing weird, but he noticed me being strange and asked

578
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 4: if something had happened at work. I put on a

579
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 4: movie for the kids and then brought him upstairs and

580
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,040
Speaker 4: told them that I needed to see his text messages

581
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:16,119
Speaker 4: first and then I would explain to him why, that

582
00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 4: I trusted him completely, but I had to make sure

583
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 4: about something, and that I would take screenshots. He handed

584
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:23,760
Speaker 4: me his phone without a second thought. First I went

585
00:27:23,800 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 4: to see his last use emojis.

586
00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 1: Oh freaking Sherlock.

587
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,160
Speaker 4: Yes, as some of you suggested, and finnely, oh okay, well,

588
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:35,240
Speaker 4: but still he's fine. And finally enough, it was the

589
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 4: ones he had sent me a while ago. I can't

590
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 4: go into detail as to how I know, but they

591
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 4: were random enough for me to know. Secondly, his conversation

592
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 4: with Rebecca was there without any deleted messages, going back

593
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:48,240
Speaker 4: to even before he got the job. Neither of them

594
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:51,679
Speaker 4: had sent anything remotely flirtatious or inappropriate. As soon as

595
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:53,439
Speaker 4: I checked that, I gave it back to him and

596
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 4: told him I didn't need to check anything else. Be honest.

597
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 4: The second he handed to me, I knew he wasn't

598
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 4: hiding anything. I then explained what it had happened. You'd

599
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,600
Speaker 4: be surprised, angry, and confused, and then sat down and sighed.

600
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:06,719
Speaker 4: He told me he would resign the next day if

601
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 4: that was what it would take for me to believe him,

602
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 4: but I told him no. I admitted to having come

603
00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 4: to the internet for help yet again, and showed him

604
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,399
Speaker 4: my post. He thanked me for believing in him, laughing

605
00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,720
Speaker 4: at the words we both did. I had to google

606
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 4: it and we talked for amurs. Oh, P, I think

607
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 4: you did this all like perfectly. You know, you got

608
00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:26,680
Speaker 4: the things that were like, okay, this seems pretty suspicious.

609
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:30,400
Speaker 4: Did your research talk to your husband and then you're

610
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,920
Speaker 4: going about everything the perfect way.

611
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: I do agree. It sounds like you have an extremely

612
00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 1: healthy relationship with absolutely I agree, and with that builth

613
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: is the foundation. You can't really be shaken by nonsense

614
00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:46,040
Speaker 1: like this shake at least not from nonsense where you

615
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:49,920
Speaker 1: know clearly they didn't have the intelligence levels to match

616
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:54,240
Speaker 1: your Sherlock Holmes Batman. Yes, but good job.

617
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:54,600
Speaker 5: Good job.

618
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,880
Speaker 4: I don't want to get into doo many details because

619
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 4: there's probably going to be an update once we put

620
00:28:58,800 --> 00:29:01,560
Speaker 4: into motion our plan, but the main takeaway right now

621
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 4: is that he did not cheat and that she's doing

622
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 4: this out of projection on his end. So yeah, hopefully

623
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:09,400
Speaker 4: people will learn to take rejection in a more healthy manner.

624
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,040
Speaker 5: But in the.

625
00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:13,239
Speaker 4: Meantime, they do make great stories, don't they. Husband and

626
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,800
Speaker 4: I are good, scared about the future once more, but

627
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:19,320
Speaker 4: hopeful again. Thank you for your support and good advice.

628
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,600
Speaker 4: And that is the end of that story.

629
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 5: Dude.

630
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: Incredible, So exact communication saves the day again, and I

631
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: like how everything was moved in the right way. I

632
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:32,080
Speaker 1: agree because it's like you had enough to be like

633
00:29:32,160 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: this is suspicious, but also it's suspicious on both ends.

634
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 3: Yeah.

635
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,520
Speaker 1: So, and then the fact that your husband was just like, yeah,

636
00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 1: heke it.

637
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:40,719
Speaker 3: Here you go.

638
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: Love saves the day once again. So true is all?

639
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 4: And Kitty, thank you for being a member for two months.

640
00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,480
Speaker 4: Celtic Queen, Celtic Vie Queen, thank you for being thank

641
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:53,320
Speaker 4: you for doning five bucks. It's my okay. Story time thirteenth,

642
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 4: thirteenth month anniversary. I think we did read that, but

643
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:55,680
Speaker 4: thank you again.

644
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,280
Speaker 1: Month Aversary number thirteen.

645
00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 5: Well, okay, what was the one thing you want to get?

646
00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:03,880
Speaker 1: That? Which one? Now you forgot the joke? Yeah, no,

647
00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 1: it's over now, the moment's pasted good. I can't it's

648
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:09,760
Speaker 1: the optimum. It's like eating fast food after it's been

649
00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: sitting out for don't do it. It doesn't taste as good.

650
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:14,680
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story.

651
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 2: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story.

652
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:19,360
Speaker 2: But a quick three minute of break of ads from

653
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:20,320
Speaker 2: our sponsors.

654
00:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,360
Speaker 3: My in law's caused a lot of drama, and I

655
00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,520
Speaker 3: make sure that others knew about it.

656
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 5: We're gonna air out all their dirty laundry.

657
00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,880
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, am I the a hole for getting unintended

658
00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,280
Speaker 3: revenge on my in laws by ruining their relationship with

659
00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 3: extended family. Let's find out, shall we. I'm a female

660
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 3: thirty six and my husband is thirty five male. Included

661
00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 3: in this is husband's parents, mother in law and father

662
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 3: in law, and husband's and and uncle is father's sister.

663
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 3: This is a long story spanning ten years, but I

664
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:57,160
Speaker 3: don't have anyone who isn't emotionally involved in this situation,

665
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 3: so I'd like some outside we got for you. And

666
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: while this is ridiculously long, it also feels like a

667
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 3: five thousand cut situation, so I wanted to include the

668
00:31:06,920 --> 00:31:09,920
Speaker 3: smaller details so that you have the whole picture. Oh boy,

669
00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:13,400
Speaker 3: strap in everyone in lock. And by the way, this

670
00:31:13,440 --> 00:31:15,280
Speaker 3: comes from deleted And if you want to submit your

671
00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,720
Speaker 3: own stories, just go to the ur slash Okay storytime

672
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:18,600
Speaker 3: separated it.

673
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:19,680
Speaker 1: So.

674
00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,040
Speaker 3: My husband and I have been married for ten years.

675
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:24,000
Speaker 3: We met in my hometown while he was there on

676
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:26,760
Speaker 3: an extended work assignment and dated for a year before

677
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,960
Speaker 3: getting married. I met his parents twice before our wedding,

678
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 3: as they lived several states away. The first time was

679
00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:34,600
Speaker 3: on a quick overnight trip to their home after we

680
00:31:34,640 --> 00:31:37,680
Speaker 3: got engaged and the second time they crashed our vacation

681
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,400
Speaker 3: The vacation story, Oh oh. The day before we arrived

682
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:44,080
Speaker 3: at our vacation spot, his mom called my husband to

683
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 3: say that they were going to the same place to

684
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 3: vacation with us. He had told them a week prior

685
00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:51,880
Speaker 3: where we were going while on a routine phone call

686
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 3: with them. I got horribly ill right before we left,

687
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 3: with the double ear infection and chest infection, but since

688
00:31:56,840 --> 00:31:58,720
Speaker 3: the vacation was already paid for and we had the

689
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,160
Speaker 3: time off work, we went anyway.

690
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: Dang.

691
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 3: Not the ideal situation for a vacation. I pushed through, though,

692
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 3: but it was a rough time for me. His parents

693
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 3: expected us to spend the entire time with them and

694
00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,400
Speaker 3: were upset if we tried to do anything by ourselves

695
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,120
Speaker 3: what They also made snide comments about me needing to

696
00:32:17,120 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 3: take breaks and abs due to my illness and not

697
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:23,400
Speaker 3: participating in drinking bar hopping after dinner. Honestly, I was

698
00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:26,280
Speaker 3: so sick I don't remember a lot. My husband was

699
00:32:26,280 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 3: okay with it, as it was supposed to be just

700
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:30,080
Speaker 3: him and me anyway, and he wanted to make sure

701
00:32:30,120 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 3: that I was taken care of. The third time I

702
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 3: met his family was during our wedding day. Originally, I

703
00:32:35,400 --> 00:32:37,720
Speaker 3: had wanted a courthouse wedding with only our parents, and

704
00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:40,920
Speaker 3: then a large backyard barbecue slash poplock dude tell Sophia

705
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 3: she would love that. She loves an idea of a

706
00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:46,640
Speaker 3: barbecue wedding thing. At the time of the wedding, I

707
00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 3: knew that we were moving to my husband's hometown soon

708
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,840
Speaker 3: due to his work, and since I didn't have a

709
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:52,720
Speaker 3: job lined up, I was trying to plan the wedding,

710
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:56,640
Speaker 3: so we spent as little as possible. My husband was

711
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:58,960
Speaker 3: fine with this. His mother called me after my husband

712
00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 3: told his parents about the way plans and asked me

713
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 3: to do a real wedding. She explained that since she

714
00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,040
Speaker 3: eloped and never had a real wedding, she wanted that

715
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 3: for her only child.

716
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 5: Okay.

717
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,240
Speaker 3: I later found out that mother in law and father

718
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,040
Speaker 3: in law had a large wedding after their elopement.

719
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 6: So if that wasn't really their eyes, Yeah, and what is.

720
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,479
Speaker 5: A real wedding? Is it going to be larger?

721
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:23,040
Speaker 1: Yeah?

722
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:25,120
Speaker 5: Extra very large exactly.

723
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 3: I rolled with it, and thanks to the amazing friends

724
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 3: and family, I was able to organize a decent wedding

725
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 3: in six weeks with about sixty guests. I didn't really

726
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,960
Speaker 3: like being on this spot in a crowd, but the

727
00:33:38,080 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 3: important part was celebrating our love and dedication and sharing

728
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 3: that with the important people in our lives. So it's fine.

729
00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 3: I'm thankful for the day now for all it represents,

730
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 3: but a part of me still wishes I had stuck

731
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 3: to my.

732
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 1: Pupews I I firearms.

733
00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 3: I sucked my firearm. That sounds like a difference.

734
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,080
Speaker 1: I stuck to the tools I used to defend de

735
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: fencible lamb.

736
00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 3: I think my anxious self would have had a lot

737
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 3: of better time. His mother initially offered to help, but

738
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,759
Speaker 3: never followed through or changed her mind every time I

739
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:12,040
Speaker 3: turned around. They offered to pay for the bar tap

740
00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:15,320
Speaker 3: during the reception, but changed their minds. My husband handled

741
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,440
Speaker 3: them and got it sorted because I had enough on

742
00:34:17,480 --> 00:34:20,600
Speaker 3: my plate, but I didn't appreciate the constant extra work

743
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,080
Speaker 3: it was to deal with them flip flopping when I

744
00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:25,880
Speaker 3: had enough going on. And no, it wasn't money. I

745
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 3: asked for a budget and it was well under what

746
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,320
Speaker 3: they told me. It was their max. I offered to

747
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,319
Speaker 3: pay for mother in law and my own mother to

748
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,440
Speaker 3: get hair and makeup done the day of the wedding.

749
00:34:34,719 --> 00:34:37,240
Speaker 3: I did this for all the bridesmaids as well, since

750
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,880
Speaker 3: being a bridesmaid can be so expensive and I was

751
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 3: trying to help them out. Initially, mother in law declined,

752
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:45,719
Speaker 3: then last minute told me that she wanted the services,

753
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,040
Speaker 3: which caused me to have to pay more out of

754
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:51,080
Speaker 3: pocket than I was planning and most annoying, rearranged the

755
00:34:51,120 --> 00:34:54,799
Speaker 3: schedule two days before the wedding. Additionally, mother in law

756
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 3: and father in law were supposed to bring my husband's

757
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 3: grandmother to the wedding, but changed their mind last minute

758
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 3: as it would be inconvenient for them due to their

759
00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,960
Speaker 3: medical issues. Grandma wasn't able to fly and they were

760
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,560
Speaker 3: the only family on his side driving. They came in

761
00:35:08,600 --> 00:35:11,840
Speaker 3: an RV and took over a week to drive fifteen

762
00:35:11,840 --> 00:35:14,480
Speaker 3: hours and used it as extra vacation time for them

763
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 3: before and after the wedding.

764
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 5: Okay, that's fun to work. Yeah yeah.

765
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,480
Speaker 3: Since Grandma wasn't able to come, my husband's and and

766
00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 3: uncle had to stay at home and help take care

767
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,600
Speaker 3: of her, and we weren't able to attend either. They

768
00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:31,320
Speaker 3: were the primary caretakers of grandma and my husband's parents

769
00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,839
Speaker 3: had never watched her to share the load, even though

770
00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 3: they lived closed. This caused an ongoing rift between the

771
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 3: aunt and uncle and mother and father in law. My

772
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:44,080
Speaker 3: husband's family is so small, so the only people related

773
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 3: to him that ended up coming were his parents. I

774
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,360
Speaker 3: felt sad for him compared to my large family, but

775
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,680
Speaker 3: we had plenty of friends there to support him, so

776
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,560
Speaker 3: I let it go. The day of the wedding went fine,

777
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:57,400
Speaker 3: usual ups and downs and last minute problems. I was

778
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 3: so busy that it wasn't until later when my mom

779
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,080
Speaker 3: told me about mother in law trying to take our gifts. Dude,

780
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 3: I'm trying to clock mother in law.

781
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 6: Yeah, she's back and forth, doesn't know, doesn't sound like

782
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 6: she doesn't really know what she wants. Yeah, and now

783
00:36:12,080 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 6: it's trying to take thing if.

784
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a wild one, unpredictable.

785
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:17,520
Speaker 5: Yeah.

786
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,200
Speaker 6: And I also see animosity coming from the aunts and

787
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,200
Speaker 6: uncles staying back with Grandma, and they might come into

788
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 6: play later.

789
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,160
Speaker 3: The gifts start. Due to being established in our homes

790
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,760
Speaker 3: and moving shortly after the wedding, we did a wishing

791
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 3: well for our wedding gifts. We advised Augusts that we

792
00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 3: didn't want gifts, just for them to come celebrate, especially

793
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:37,520
Speaker 3: as many people were out of town. And if they

794
00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:39,759
Speaker 3: wanted to give something to gift us cash and put

795
00:36:39,800 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 3: it in our wishing well fund so that we could

796
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:43,399
Speaker 3: use it for our future. That's a cute little thing.

797
00:36:43,480 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 3: Call it a little wishing well. My mom found this

798
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 3: poem to go with the explanation and it was adorable,

799
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,960
Speaker 3: so I let her handle that. The day of the wedding,

800
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 3: my mother found mother in law trying to open the

801
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 3: cards addressed to mister and missus my married last name.

802
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:00,239
Speaker 1: Uh.

803
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 3: When my mom saw this, she told mother in law

804
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,320
Speaker 3: to stop and told her that the cards were for

805
00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,719
Speaker 3: my husband and me. Mother in law said that the

806
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 3: cards had her name on it. Oh, there's like, I'm

807
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,160
Speaker 3: missus blah blah blah.

808
00:37:12,160 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 1: Well, my name is written on it. It's my name's

809
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:14,480
Speaker 1: written on it.

810
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,640
Speaker 3: Yes, that's right. She told my mom that she thought

811
00:37:17,680 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 3: the gifts were for her since they had her name

812
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:23,880
Speaker 3: on it. Never mind she was at her son's wedding.

813
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,160
Speaker 3: My mom didn't want to stress me out, so she

814
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 3: didn't say anything until much later, but she sent mother

815
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: in law straight and was not dentle. Wedding was great.

816
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 3: We passed on a honeymoon to save up for the move,

817
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:37,680
Speaker 3: and a little bit later we were moving to my

818
00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 3: husband's hometown. His parents had generously offered to let us

819
00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:43,279
Speaker 3: stay with them until we both had jobs and were

820
00:37:43,320 --> 00:37:45,360
Speaker 3: able to find housing in their area, and I was

821
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,439
Speaker 3: super thankful to have some support since I had never

822
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:51,440
Speaker 3: lived so far away from my family before. Our stuff

823
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,120
Speaker 3: was packed and in storage until we were able to

824
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 3: find a place. We arrived after a long move and drive.

825
00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,040
Speaker 3: It was the second time I had ever been to

826
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:03,240
Speaker 3: his parents' home. Upon arrival, we have found one large

827
00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 3: difference than before. Every room except the bathroom and our

828
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:13,640
Speaker 3: bedroom had cameras, some even two cameras to catch different angles.

829
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:17,839
Speaker 3: Even the front and backyard had cameras. Mother in law

830
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,920
Speaker 3: and father in law wanted to keep an eye on

831
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:23,239
Speaker 3: the house while we stayed with them. I know, looking back,

832
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 3: we never should have stayed, but you can't change the past. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

833
00:38:28,320 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 5: Also, there's one person I have not heard a word from.

834
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:36,960
Speaker 5: That's husband. Has he said anything.

835
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 3: Mother in law and father in law were the only

836
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 3: ones with access to the cameras and would frequently question

837
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,439
Speaker 3: or comment on our activities during the day.

838
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:45,280
Speaker 4: Over dinner.

839
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:48,560
Speaker 3: They also would inspect the bathroom and bedroom we used

840
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 3: and comment if we left anything out of place, didn't

841
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,480
Speaker 3: have the bedmade, or didn't have things the way they liked.

842
00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:55,480
Speaker 3: Since I didn't have a job, I tried to be

843
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 3: as helpful as possible and took over all the housework

844
00:38:58,200 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 3: and cooking, even doing yard work, laundry, and pet care

845
00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 3: as needed. I began to feel like a prisoner, and

846
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:07,839
Speaker 3: in between job searching, I went for walks to try

847
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,000
Speaker 3: and stay out of the house, or just hid in

848
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 3: the bedroom if I wasn't doing chores. This caused mother

849
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:14,719
Speaker 3: in law and father in law to comment on me

850
00:39:14,840 --> 00:39:18,319
Speaker 3: being unsocial because I wasn't in the communal areas of

851
00:39:18,360 --> 00:39:22,120
Speaker 3: the home. How do they know that from these from.

852
00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 6: These things, they're fine, Like, maybe that's just some people, dude.

853
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,960
Speaker 6: On the weekends, I'm nowhere to be seen in the

854
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 6: communal area.

855
00:39:30,360 --> 00:39:31,760
Speaker 5: I am just in my room.

856
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,279
Speaker 6: Playing video games all weekend and maybe outside.

857
00:39:35,560 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 3: Also, the walls in this house were thin, so I

858
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 3: didn't even feel like I could speak with my husband

859
00:39:41,960 --> 00:39:44,880
Speaker 3: in our bedroom without being overheard. More than once we

860
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:46,799
Speaker 3: would hear someone in the hallway if we were talking

861
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 3: to each other. And I figured that they were eavesdropping.

862
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,040
Speaker 3: We spent a lot of time whispering and texting, even

863
00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:54,680
Speaker 3: when sitting next to each other with the bedroom door closed.

864
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 3: After a few weeks, I found a job and started work.

865
00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,080
Speaker 3: I continued to do cooking and cleaning. However, as we

866
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 3: still weren't paying rent or utilities, A husband and I

867
00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,600
Speaker 3: told his parents we would find our own place. His

868
00:40:08,719 --> 00:40:10,759
Speaker 3: parents convinced us that they were happy to have us

869
00:40:10,760 --> 00:40:12,719
Speaker 3: and offered to let us stay for free so that

870
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:15,200
Speaker 3: we could save to buy a home. I figured, with

871
00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 3: everything we had saved and been gifted, it would only

872
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,320
Speaker 3: be a few months of savings before we were ready

873
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:23,960
Speaker 3: for this. We discussed it privately, my husband acknowledging the

874
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:27,800
Speaker 3: cameras and his parents' behavior, but ultimately we decided to

875
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,760
Speaker 3: stay to get the best leg up for our future.

876
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:33,120
Speaker 3: My husband had student loans, so after speaking with his parents,

877
00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,520
Speaker 3: we paid them off out of our savings. Yes, it

878
00:40:35,560 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 3: was a good chunk of money and began saving for

879
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 3: a house. Note father in law had taken out a

880
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 3: personal loan as well and gave it to my husband

881
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:47,960
Speaker 3: to help with college. Oh wow, this will be important later. No.

882
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:48,040
Speaker 5: No.

883
00:40:49,160 --> 00:40:50,759
Speaker 3: After a few weeks, mother in law and father in

884
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 3: law decided to go on a week in vacation and

885
00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,160
Speaker 3: left us in charge of the house. I was so

886
00:40:55,239 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 3: happy to be alone, but the first night they called

887
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 3: and asked about their pets, but again made me any

888
00:41:00,239 --> 00:41:02,359
Speaker 3: comments on what we had been doing throughout the day,

889
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 3: making it clear that they were watching us on the cameras.

890
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,800
Speaker 3: At this point, anxiety over being constantly watched got to me,

891
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,440
Speaker 3: and I asked my husband to turn off the Wi

892
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:13,680
Speaker 3: Fi or even go to the extreme of breaking the

893
00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 3: cameras because I needed a break.

894
00:41:15,719 --> 00:41:17,320
Speaker 1: That's destruction of property.

895
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:21,400
Speaker 3: He covered the cameras with socks and told his parents

896
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,880
Speaker 3: it was so that they couldn't watch us. There you go,

897
00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,200
Speaker 3: just be upfront. That works too, to go to make

898
00:41:26,239 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 3: government socks.

899
00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,719
Speaker 6: Put strings on the socks so whenever you're leaving and

900
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:31,160
Speaker 6: pull them down easily and then walk away and then

901
00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:32,800
Speaker 6: you put them back on and everything.

902
00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:35,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, you do some home alone stuff. That's what we

903
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:36,439
Speaker 1: do with those.

904
00:41:36,640 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 3: Yeah. Or you could just be honest like he was.

905
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:40,879
Speaker 1: That works too, right, Yeah, I mean on a real level,

906
00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: I think literally just like smack the cameras with like

907
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,800
Speaker 1: a stick or baseball.

908
00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:48,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can make it fun, get a little nerf gun,

909
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:50,799
Speaker 3: make it like a thing where they were to try to, like,

910
00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,280
Speaker 3: you know, shoot it off of the the railings.

911
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 5: Yeah, I like that, or.

912
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,080
Speaker 3: You get the you get the section cup ones and

913
00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:58,520
Speaker 3: even better, try to hit it right on the camera.

914
00:41:58,719 --> 00:41:59,919
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.

915
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,520
Speaker 3: Of course they called upset that they couldn't watch us.

916
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:06,880
Speaker 3: We had peace for a day and I felt better,

917
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,360
Speaker 3: but was really regretting not moving out. We discussed it

918
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 3: again but decided to stay. No costs were allowing us

919
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,120
Speaker 3: to save up quite a bit, especially after paying off

920
00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:19,160
Speaker 3: the loan. The following night, we had my husband's old

921
00:42:19,239 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 3: high school friend and his wife to dinner. Since I

922
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,880
Speaker 3: didn't have friends in the new area, my husband was

923
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,240
Speaker 3: trying to help me find a social circle. His parents

924
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:28,640
Speaker 3: called halfway through the evening. They had seen the couple

925
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:32,000
Speaker 3: arrive on the outdoor cameras and began cussing me and

926
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:34,959
Speaker 3: my husband out. I could tell that they were both

927
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 3: very intoxicated. My husband was used to this behavior from

928
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,440
Speaker 3: his childhood and wasn't saying anything, just letting them go

929
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:44,640
Speaker 3: until they stopped, but I could tell that he was

930
00:42:44,719 --> 00:42:48,240
Speaker 3: upset and the friends could hear everything. I took charge,

931
00:42:48,280 --> 00:42:50,360
Speaker 3: told his parents that we'd talk when they were sober

932
00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 3: and calm and disconnected. We didn't answer them for the

933
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:55,759
Speaker 3: rest of the night. They came back early the next

934
00:42:55,800 --> 00:42:58,760
Speaker 3: morning and were livid, and we sat down and tried

935
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:02,880
Speaker 3: to discuss. The discussion started badly and ended worse. Oh great.

936
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,560
Speaker 3: His father wouldn't stop screaming and cursing at us. His

937
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:09,400
Speaker 3: mother fabricated a situation in which she had told my

938
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:12,880
Speaker 3: husband not to have a party, and kept saying that

939
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 3: we betrayed their trust by having two people over. They

940
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:20,600
Speaker 3: tried to chied us like children. My husband and I

941
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,880
Speaker 3: had both lived on our own since eighteen, paid our

942
00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:25,560
Speaker 3: own bills, and made our own way. At this point,

943
00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 3: we're twenty six, twenty seven. My husband and I tried

944
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:29,719
Speaker 3: to calm them down and explain that we were both

945
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:32,680
Speaker 3: adults who could have people over for dinner, but his

946
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:37,080
Speaker 3: mother stomped off to another room and continued crying and wailing, dude,

947
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:42,200
Speaker 3: you got it, yeah, leap, yeah.

948
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 5: That's out of there. Insane. How why is it adult?

949
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: Mad?

950
00:43:47,360 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 5: You had friends over for dinner?

951
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:53,280
Speaker 3: Literally literally like two people. Two people. That's not a party,

952
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,600
Speaker 3: don't you know? The saying two, two is company. Three's

953
00:43:56,600 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 3: a crowd.

954
00:43:57,200 --> 00:43:59,080
Speaker 1: You need at least a zero on the end of

955
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 1: that too for to party status.

956
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:04,560
Speaker 3: Yeah. So father in law left and slammed things around

957
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 3: on his way pees. My husband and I went to

958
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,839
Speaker 3: the movies, went for lunch and a walk. We came

959
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,600
Speaker 3: home late to sleep, and they didn't acknowledge us. The

960
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,920
Speaker 3: next Monday, mother in law cornered my husband and gave

961
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:17,920
Speaker 3: him a list of demands that I had to do

962
00:44:18,080 --> 00:44:21,440
Speaker 3: to earn her acceptance, one of which was to cry

963
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,240
Speaker 3: on demand, because, in her words, I was so calm

964
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:27,320
Speaker 3: that she thought I was a robot. So she demanded

965
00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 3: that I be able to show her that I could

966
00:44:29,080 --> 00:44:29,920
Speaker 3: have emotions.

967
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's one of the most toxic things I

968
00:44:34,840 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: might have ever heard.

969
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 3: I also had to apologize for being ungrateful. Mind you,

970
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,560
Speaker 3: I am still doing all of the cooking and cleaning

971
00:44:41,719 --> 00:44:45,320
Speaker 3: and the laundry too. When my husband told me the demands,

972
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,400
Speaker 3: I lost my temper with him. It is the only

973
00:44:48,440 --> 00:44:50,520
Speaker 3: time I've ever yelled at him at anger, and I

974
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,160
Speaker 3: made it clear that his mother was manipulating him and

975
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,200
Speaker 3: putting conditions on her love and acceptance. So the husband

976
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:00,240
Speaker 3: is backing up the mom right now that she was

977
00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,040
Speaker 3: he was doing this to get us to do what

978
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:04,359
Speaker 3: she wanted. I told my husband that if his mother

979
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 3: ever wanted anything for me, she could talk to me herself,

980
00:45:07,239 --> 00:45:10,080
Speaker 3: and if he ever got between us again, I would

981
00:45:10,200 --> 00:45:13,040
Speaker 3: leave him. So yes, I lost my temper, but also

982
00:45:13,239 --> 00:45:15,640
Speaker 3: this helped open my husband's eyes all the way and

983
00:45:15,680 --> 00:45:18,319
Speaker 3: see what his mother and father were doing manipulating.

984
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:19,959
Speaker 5: See what I'm saying there.

985
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:22,360
Speaker 3: You manipulated back from my fire with fire, and he

986
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,759
Speaker 3: gets it lore from opie. I have to say, as

987
00:45:25,840 --> 00:45:28,719
Speaker 3: a child of emotional I don't think he recognized that

988
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 3: this behavior was wrong the same way I did. He

989
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 3: has a lot of trauma he hides under laughter. But

990
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 3: I wasn't willing to let our relationship be controlled by

991
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 3: his mom. We had a long talk in our car

992
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:40,799
Speaker 3: and resolved to find a place to live and move

993
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:44,160
Speaker 3: out as soon as possible. We got back and I

994
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:46,120
Speaker 3: asked mother in law if she wanted to speak with me.

995
00:45:46,400 --> 00:45:48,640
Speaker 3: She looked to my husband and I shewed him away,

996
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 3: explaining that she needed to speak with me directly, not

997
00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:55,239
Speaker 3: through him. She turned away and refused to speak with me.

998
00:45:55,719 --> 00:45:57,719
Speaker 3: She hasn't spoken to me since.

999
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,960
Speaker 5: I know people like this and it's just annoying to

1000
00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:01,480
Speaker 5: be around.

1001
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:06,239
Speaker 3: Two days later, we were homeless. My husband had a

1002
00:46:06,280 --> 00:46:08,600
Speaker 3: big blow with his parents, who cornered him while I

1003
00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 3: was at work. I came back to find the car

1004
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 3: loaded with all of our clothes and anything that wasn't

1005
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:15,840
Speaker 3: in storage. Helped my husband with the last of it

1006
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 3: and we left. At this point, I didn't even question it.

1007
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:22,600
Speaker 3: I was one hundred percent happy not being there. One

1008
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,960
Speaker 3: of my husband's friends offered us a spare room, although

1009
00:46:24,960 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 3: it was awkward as I had never met the friend

1010
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:29,359
Speaker 3: until moving into their house. It took us a few

1011
00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 3: weeks until we were able to find a place to stay,

1012
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,240
Speaker 3: but I felt so much better not being constantly watched

1013
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:36,120
Speaker 3: and spied on.

1014
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 5: Dude, I bet, Yeah, I freaking bet.

1015
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 3: My husband wanted to cut ties with his parents and

1016
00:46:41,160 --> 00:46:43,759
Speaker 3: opened up to me more about some situations in his

1017
00:46:43,840 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 3: childhood that were one hundred percent He isn't one to dwell,

1018
00:46:47,719 --> 00:46:50,399
Speaker 3: and I'm the only person he has ever opened up

1019
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:53,839
Speaker 3: to about this in such detail and without laughing to

1020
00:46:53,840 --> 00:46:56,680
Speaker 3: make light of the situation. Wow, that's good, big improvement

1021
00:46:56,880 --> 00:47:00,400
Speaker 3: from someone who you know does that a lot. I

1022
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,080
Speaker 3: encouraged my husband to have low contact with his parents

1023
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 3: as he wanted to go no contact. He would occasionally

1024
00:47:06,080 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 3: go to lunch or dinner with them. They never wanted

1025
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 3: me there, and mother in law would make comments to

1026
00:47:10,920 --> 00:47:13,280
Speaker 3: my husband about how he should make sure to avoid

1027
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:17,040
Speaker 3: having children with me because when you get divorced, etc.

1028
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:20,319
Speaker 6: Okay, not only are you talking about my wife, we're

1029
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,040
Speaker 6: talking about.

1030
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:21,920
Speaker 5: My immediate family.

1031
00:47:22,560 --> 00:47:26,080
Speaker 6: Yeah, and as a family member, we don't talk about

1032
00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:27,360
Speaker 6: our family like them.

1033
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,040
Speaker 3: Not at all.

1034
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:29,640
Speaker 5: That is so toxic.

1035
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:30,279
Speaker 4: Oh.

1036
00:47:30,440 --> 00:47:32,520
Speaker 6: Get these mother in laws be getting under my skin

1037
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 6: the way Dakota doesn't like when people mysterreat animals. That's

1038
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:40,200
Speaker 6: how I feel about mother in laws. I just can't

1039
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:41,720
Speaker 6: like bad in law's dude.

1040
00:47:42,200 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 3: This upset my husband, but when he would say something

1041
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,840
Speaker 3: to mother in law, she would gaslight him, saying that

1042
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:50,239
Speaker 3: he misunderstood her. Father in law showed up one day

1043
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:52,800
Speaker 3: at husband's work and was yelling and screaming about husband

1044
00:47:52,840 --> 00:47:56,320
Speaker 3: needing to pay him for the personal loan. We agreed

1045
00:47:56,360 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 3: to pay it just to keep the peace, but it

1046
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 3: was almost five hundred dollars a month and it definitely

1047
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:05,200
Speaker 3: put a dent in the house savings. Husband felt responsible

1048
00:48:05,239 --> 00:48:07,200
Speaker 3: since father in law took the loan out for him

1049
00:48:07,239 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 3: to use. This altercation also looked super bad to husband's

1050
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 3: coworkers and supervisors, and he got a lot of problems

1051
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 3: at work for several weeks because of this. Several months later,

1052
00:48:16,920 --> 00:48:20,560
Speaker 3: my husband got an important job honor being generic for

1053
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:25,160
Speaker 3: privacy sorry and invited his parents, who declined to come.

1054
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,239
Speaker 3: My family flew down to go to the ceremony. Even

1055
00:48:28,280 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 3: my sister came and brought her three small children on

1056
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 3: a twelve hour drive. Wow. My family loves my husband.

1057
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:37,719
Speaker 3: My parents consider him a bonus son, so it was

1058
00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:40,719
Speaker 3: great that we had all their support. I managed to

1059
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:42,680
Speaker 3: get in touch with my family's aunt and uncle and

1060
00:48:42,719 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 3: invited them. They had been told some horrible things by

1061
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,560
Speaker 3: father in law and mother in law about us, but

1062
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:51,440
Speaker 3: agreed to come. Husband's ceremony was a great day and

1063
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:55,120
Speaker 3: I loved supporting him and seeing how they owned him. Later,

1064
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:57,840
Speaker 3: his aunt pulled me aside and asked him questions about

1065
00:48:57,840 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 3: everything going on with father in law and mother in law.

1066
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:01,840
Speaker 3: She told me that she had gone to father in

1067
00:49:01,920 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 3: law's work and tried to get him to come to

1068
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,879
Speaker 3: the ceremony, but he refused. She is used to being

1069
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 3: in arguments with her brother and his wife mother in law,

1070
00:49:09,800 --> 00:49:12,920
Speaker 3: so wasn't surprised at the drama. She told me that

1071
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 3: they'd get over it eventually, but she and uncle were

1072
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 3: both mad at mother in law and father in law

1073
00:49:17,200 --> 00:49:20,400
Speaker 3: for their behavior and for refusing to come to the ceremony.

1074
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:24,320
Speaker 3: Husband's aunt and I talked regularly, and we began visiting

1075
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 3: with them for lunches and dinners and have slowly gotten

1076
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:30,160
Speaker 3: closer over time. They have been a wonderful support system,

1077
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:33,040
Speaker 3: and I often think of them as my true in laws.

1078
00:49:33,360 --> 00:49:35,600
Speaker 3: Mother and father in law spread a lot of rumors

1079
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:37,919
Speaker 3: through the extended family about my husband and me, saying

1080
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 3: that we had treated them so badly. It took years

1081
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:44,320
Speaker 3: of just being ourselves, and eventually A husband's extended family

1082
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 3: saw through this, but it was rough for a while.

1083
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 3: The worst was husband's grandmother's funeral. Father and mother in

1084
00:49:51,239 --> 00:49:53,440
Speaker 3: law were supposed to invite us. Aunt had planned the

1085
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,360
Speaker 3: whole thing and had a lot to take care of,

1086
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,240
Speaker 3: but thankfully only two days ahead called me to confirm

1087
00:49:58,280 --> 00:50:01,759
Speaker 3: if we were attending. I didn't know anything about it,

1088
00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,359
Speaker 3: as a mother and father in law hadn't told us. Wow,

1089
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 3: so so two days like Okay, we gotta go to

1090
00:50:07,680 --> 00:50:12,799
Speaker 3: this I gotta go to this funeral. Man, man, we

1091
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,480
Speaker 3: made it and due to us coming, mother in law

1092
00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 3: refused to attend.

1093
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:17,640
Speaker 5: Oh wow.

1094
00:50:18,280 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 3: Father in law was stilted and awkward and left early. Yes,

1095
00:50:21,640 --> 00:50:24,480
Speaker 3: this is his own mother that has passed away. Oh

1096
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:28,440
Speaker 3: my gosh, that's awful. About a year later, father in

1097
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,080
Speaker 3: law ended up retiring and asked husband if they should move,

1098
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 3: and if they did, where to go so that they

1099
00:50:33,239 --> 00:50:36,040
Speaker 3: could be close to it. My husband's answer was that

1100
00:50:36,080 --> 00:50:38,279
Speaker 3: it didn't matter, as we can come visit or have

1101
00:50:38,400 --> 00:50:41,239
Speaker 3: them over regardless of where they settle, and told them

1102
00:50:41,280 --> 00:50:43,840
Speaker 3: to pick somewhere that would make them happy. Mother and

1103
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 3: father in law took this to mean that he didn't

1104
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:49,399
Speaker 3: care about them and lost their minds. It was more

1105
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 3: of a you know, go live your best life in

1106
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 3: Florida and we'll come visit you if you want.

1107
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:55,560
Speaker 5: Exactly that's what that said, and.

1108
00:50:55,520 --> 00:50:58,960
Speaker 1: That's what I heard, truly, that was that was a nod.

1109
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 1: It was like literally, oh, wherever you want, I'll go

1110
00:51:01,239 --> 00:51:03,399
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah yeah, and they're like yeah.

1111
00:51:05,920 --> 00:51:08,640
Speaker 3: Lots of nasty things were said to husband. Mother and

1112
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 3: father in law moved and after a year lost their

1113
00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 3: home in a natural disaster.

1114
00:51:12,600 --> 00:51:13,520
Speaker 5: Oh no, oh no.

1115
00:51:13,719 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 3: To help out, husband started to go fundme that raised

1116
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:18,920
Speaker 3: them almost ten k and we donated money and a

1117
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,759
Speaker 3: lot of home goods and things for them, and they

1118
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:24,120
Speaker 3: later told him that he didn't do enough for them

1119
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:25,160
Speaker 3: during this time.

1120
00:51:25,320 --> 00:51:26,799
Speaker 5: Okay, we'll take that back.

1121
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,800
Speaker 6: With that money back, we'll give it to someone else

1122
00:51:29,000 --> 00:51:31,319
Speaker 6: in that community that would actually appreciate it.

1123
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,800
Speaker 3: The thing exactly, exactly, dude, that's great.

1124
00:51:33,920 --> 00:51:35,560
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna send you a little invoice there

1125
00:51:35,600 --> 00:51:40,839
Speaker 1: for ten k. Yeah. Yeah, but this story is snowballing

1126
00:51:40,880 --> 00:51:42,799
Speaker 1: at the end here. It's like, yeah, it's just there's

1127
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,960
Speaker 1: people passing away, there's natural disasters. It's like, whoa.

1128
00:51:46,239 --> 00:51:48,480
Speaker 3: My husband still talked to his parents on and off

1129
00:51:48,520 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 3: for about four years after all of this, until finally

1130
00:51:51,000 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 3: deciding to cut them off. The Mother's Day story, husband

1131
00:51:56,160 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 3: called mother in law to wish her a happy day.

1132
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:01,480
Speaker 3: She didn't answer, so he texted her. She called back

1133
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 3: later and told him to be a voicemail that she

1134
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:06,319
Speaker 3: never liked this day because it reminded her of her

1135
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:07,720
Speaker 3: biggest regret.

1136
00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, wait a minute, rosted mosted, dang man,

1137
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:22,240
Speaker 1: dang wait so did I just read that the knocked

1138
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 1: on the mom just told her son like it reminds

1139
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:26,640
Speaker 1: me that I had you.

1140
00:52:26,920 --> 00:52:32,080
Speaker 3: Yep, yeah, yes, those are direct quotes. He decided to

1141
00:52:32,080 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 3: go no contact, and unlike before, I fully supported him

1142
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:38,160
Speaker 3: this time. I wrote them a letter which he approved,

1143
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:40,200
Speaker 3: and told them that they could contact me if they

1144
00:52:40,239 --> 00:52:42,799
Speaker 3: wanted to get in touch, and we'd like to have

1145
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:47,000
Speaker 3: a better relationship in the future. Husband blocked them on everything.

1146
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:49,960
Speaker 3: I was tired of them hurting him. I could see

1147
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 3: it every time they interacted and every time my heart

1148
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,200
Speaker 3: broke for him. Part of the no contact was the

1149
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 3: personal alone his father had taken out. My husband felt

1150
00:52:58,080 --> 00:53:00,320
Speaker 3: like since he used the money for school, he should

1151
00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:02,719
Speaker 3: pay it, even though it was in father in law's name.

1152
00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,239
Speaker 3: Part of why I love my husband is that he

1153
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:08,400
Speaker 3: is responsible, so I agreed. We ended up writing them

1154
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 3: a check for six K the balance of the loan

1155
00:53:10,719 --> 00:53:12,879
Speaker 3: at that point, and sent it with the no contact letter.

1156
00:53:13,520 --> 00:53:15,799
Speaker 3: Paying the loan wasn't a problem for me, but its

1157
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:19,120
Speaker 3: existence was. The balance never stayed the same. They refused

1158
00:53:19,160 --> 00:53:21,600
Speaker 3: to show us statements, and at one point father in

1159
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:24,920
Speaker 3: law refinance the loan, but a lot of things didn't

1160
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,480
Speaker 3: make sense. Can you refinance alone? Is that a thing?

1161
00:53:28,160 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 6: They figured it out? I mean, yeah, people refound finance

1162
00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 6: their houses, that's alone.

1163
00:53:33,120 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like basically you just refinance for like refinancing

1164
00:53:36,840 --> 00:53:39,239
Speaker 1: is actually I'm not even gonna talk about that because

1165
00:53:39,280 --> 00:53:41,800
Speaker 1: I would. I don't know that well. But it's like basically,

1166
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 1: when you already have a loan and you're like I

1167
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,800
Speaker 1: need more loan, you can just make it one loan.

1168
00:53:46,719 --> 00:53:48,000
Speaker 3: Just update, okay, cool.

1169
00:53:48,080 --> 00:53:48,360
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1170
00:53:48,400 --> 00:53:50,200
Speaker 3: The payment went from two hundred a month to five

1171
00:53:50,239 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 3: hundred a month, and father in law gave conflicting statements

1172
00:53:52,640 --> 00:53:56,640
Speaker 3: about the total ode, so it inflated several thousand suddenly.

1173
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 3: My husband doesn't think father in law would lie, but

1174
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:01,640
Speaker 3: I'm not so sure. Yeah, I think he would lie

1175
00:54:01,760 --> 00:54:02,120
Speaker 3: for sure.

1176
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, he got six k out of you, of

1177
00:54:03,880 --> 00:54:05,960
Speaker 6: course he's gonna try and do something to get more

1178
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:06,320
Speaker 6: out of you.

1179
00:54:06,440 --> 00:54:09,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, anygo, technically he had sixteen because he had

1180
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:10,799
Speaker 1: he got the ten from the golf on me of

1181
00:54:11,040 --> 00:54:11,359
Speaker 1: the house.

1182
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 5: Oh wow.

1183
00:54:12,200 --> 00:54:16,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, and he still was likeli.

1184
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,839
Speaker 3: I think they manipulated my husband to pay off some

1185
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 3: of their own debts. Regardless, with the check and the letter,

1186
00:54:21,120 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 3: we were done. No more in laws. It was a

1187
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,320
Speaker 3: lot nicer, not gonna lie. We still had some updates

1188
00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 3: from Aunt, which was okay with us. At one point

1189
00:54:29,800 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 3: Aunt told us that father in law had admitted to

1190
00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 3: cutting husband out of their will. Ooh, whatever, we don't

1191
00:54:34,800 --> 00:54:37,520
Speaker 3: need anything, but it did make me laugh. Ant is

1192
00:54:37,560 --> 00:54:39,839
Speaker 3: the executor and advised that if it comes to her,

1193
00:54:40,200 --> 00:54:43,480
Speaker 3: she is going to give us the entire estate anyway,

1194
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:45,200
Speaker 3: regardless of mother and father in law's wishes.

1195
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:46,080
Speaker 5: Oh right, nice.

1196
00:54:47,000 --> 00:54:49,919
Speaker 3: Husband's uncle passed away recently and his loss was hard

1197
00:54:49,960 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 3: for my husband.

1198
00:54:50,680 --> 00:54:51,840
Speaker 5: Dang, he was like a good family.

1199
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:55,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, he had basically adopted my husband helped him with

1200
00:54:55,440 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 3: home projects. Yes, we finally got a house. Father in

1201
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,680
Speaker 3: law and mother in law refused to come to his funeral,

1202
00:55:00,719 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 3: and Aunt was pissed.

1203
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:02,880
Speaker 4: Uh.

1204
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,279
Speaker 3: Not only was she grieving, but she had to deal

1205
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:07,879
Speaker 3: with their problems and got very upset with them. Now,

1206
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,920
Speaker 3: almost ten years after our wedding, we were out to

1207
00:55:10,960 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 3: dinner with Aunt. I mentioned something about my husband's father,

1208
00:55:14,400 --> 00:55:17,839
Speaker 3: the old one, doing him in the face when he

1209
00:55:17,960 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 3: was fifteen. Oh, it fit the conversation we were having,

1210
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:23,640
Speaker 3: and I didn't really think about it before saying anything.

1211
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:27,120
Speaker 3: Aunt was stunned, husband told her more details about the situation,

1212
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 3: answered questions, and soon a few of the worst moments

1213
00:55:29,760 --> 00:55:34,360
Speaker 3: of husband's childhood were being shared over appetizers, physical, emotional,

1214
00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 3: and neglect. Honestly, it wasn't even close to everything that

1215
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,600
Speaker 3: had happened to him, but it was enough. Oh wow,

1216
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:41,440
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

1217
00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:47,800
Speaker 6: So it just became more real. How terrible these parents already?

1218
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:49,960
Speaker 6: Yeah exactly, and you got you did?

1219
00:55:50,320 --> 00:55:52,560
Speaker 5: You gave back so much to him too.

1220
00:55:53,000 --> 00:55:55,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, respect all that you did. So it's good

1221
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,680
Speaker 3: that now they have no contact.

1222
00:55:57,800 --> 00:55:58,239
Speaker 5: That's all right.

1223
00:55:58,520 --> 00:56:02,680
Speaker 3: Aunt has told me of a husband's family about everything,

1224
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,880
Speaker 3: and also gotten into it with mother and father in

1225
00:56:04,960 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 3: law over the abuse. It seems like family relationships with

1226
00:56:08,040 --> 00:56:09,840
Speaker 3: mother and father in law are damaged to beyond repair

1227
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,399
Speaker 3: at this point. I feel guilty, but I also think

1228
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:14,439
Speaker 3: that they did it on their own through long years

1229
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 3: of drama and petty behavior. We aren't the only ones

1230
00:56:17,800 --> 00:56:20,560
Speaker 3: they have problems with. Mother and father in law consistently

1231
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,680
Speaker 3: have issues with family and friends, so if not this,

1232
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 3: it would have been something. But I do feel that

1233
00:56:25,640 --> 00:56:28,160
Speaker 3: me saying something without thinking about it first ended up

1234
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:31,919
Speaker 3: with them being more isolated as a consequence, and while

1235
00:56:31,960 --> 00:56:33,919
Speaker 3: I don't wish to have contact with them, I also

1236
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,640
Speaker 3: don't want them to be out of touch with their

1237
00:56:35,680 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 3: family as they get older and start to have age

1238
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:40,399
Speaker 3: related medical issues. So am I the a whole?

1239
00:56:40,640 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 6: I don't think you're the Oh, it feels like it

1240
00:56:43,320 --> 00:56:45,799
Speaker 6: came up naturally, like you may have started it, and

1241
00:56:45,800 --> 00:56:47,759
Speaker 6: it may have, like folks, some emotions.

1242
00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:50,440
Speaker 5: But I mean, yeah, someone's got to know how bad

1243
00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:51,160
Speaker 5: these people are.

1244
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:55,880
Speaker 3: By the way, Ah, this story is done.

1245
00:56:56,320 --> 00:56:58,520
Speaker 1: Hey, it's sam og host. We're gonnet back to these

1246
00:56:58,560 --> 00:56:59,520
Speaker 1: delectable stories.

1247
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:01,600
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to

1248
00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:02,399
Speaker 2: help support the show.

1249
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:06,719
Speaker 1: My in laws tried to involve CPS because of our

1250
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:08,120
Speaker 1: rescue dogs.

1251
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:11,920
Speaker 3: CPS, not the fur baby is being considered real children.

1252
00:57:12,080 --> 00:57:14,320
Speaker 1: My mother in law texted one of my family members

1253
00:57:14,360 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 1: today saying she and my father in law thought about

1254
00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:22,280
Speaker 1: calling CPS on me and my spouse but decided not to. Basically,

1255
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:25,120
Speaker 1: according to them, we are willfully endangering our baby by

1256
00:57:25,160 --> 00:57:28,760
Speaker 1: having multiple dogs in the household and fostering dogs through

1257
00:57:28,800 --> 00:57:33,480
Speaker 1: a reputable and responsible rescue All right, so so far,

1258
00:57:33,600 --> 00:57:35,680
Speaker 1: my gut's telling me the kids are fine.

1259
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1260
00:57:36,520 --> 00:57:38,800
Speaker 1: By the way, This comes from user significant Try ten

1261
00:57:38,880 --> 00:57:40,760
Speaker 1: forty four and if you want to submit your own stories,

1262
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:44,680
Speaker 1: go to the r slash Okay storytime subprend it. So Ever,

1263
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 1: since we were pregnant with said child, they've been making

1264
00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:50,360
Speaker 1: remarks that we need to rehome most of our dogs.

1265
00:57:50,520 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 1: We have six of our own and two fosters whoa

1266
00:57:54,280 --> 00:57:57,440
Speaker 1: simply due to the number that we have. My spouse

1267
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:59,920
Speaker 1: and I know it's more dogs than most have, but

1268
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 1: we live in a rural area, have a massive outdoor

1269
00:58:03,280 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 1: area the dogs spend hours in and don't keep or

1270
00:58:06,720 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 1: foster dogs that show any inkling of aggression towards humans.

1271
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:13,360
Speaker 1: It's not even uncommon to have this many dogs where

1272
00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,400
Speaker 1: we live, and some people around us have many more

1273
00:58:16,440 --> 00:58:19,440
Speaker 1: than we do. Our yard is sandy, so the dogs

1274
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:22,360
Speaker 1: do track in sand onto our hard surface floors that

1275
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:25,760
Speaker 1: we vacuum daily because there is often some sand from

1276
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 1: letting the dogs in, and our counters are cluttered. They

1277
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:31,800
Speaker 1: consider our house dirty by comparison, their house is always

1278
00:58:31,840 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 1: clean enough you could eat off of their floor. The

1279
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:38,400
Speaker 1: worst part of all this is they admit CPS wouldn't

1280
00:58:38,400 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: do anything. Our child is healthy, happy, and clean. Their

1281
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:45,240
Speaker 1: doctor says they are in perfect health, and the dogs

1282
00:58:45,240 --> 00:58:47,800
Speaker 1: have never so much as accidentally scratched, stepped on, or

1283
00:58:47,840 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 1: even looked at them wrong. We don't let the dogs

1284
00:58:51,480 --> 00:58:54,760
Speaker 1: in their bedroom or play area, and actively train our

1285
00:58:54,840 --> 00:58:58,360
Speaker 1: dogs so they are good family members, either as our

1286
00:58:58,480 --> 00:59:02,240
Speaker 1: own dog or fosters. The dogs are also well taken

1287
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:05,320
Speaker 1: care of, up to date on all shots, and friendly.

1288
00:59:05,800 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 1: They can be energetic due to their various breeds, but

1289
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:11,640
Speaker 1: we make sure any rough and tumble play is outside

1290
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:16,840
Speaker 1: in the designated yard. They've got the designated rough house yard.

1291
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 1: My spouse and I also work in jobs that involve

1292
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 1: children and have been in serious situations where CPS has

1293
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:29,040
Speaker 1: been rightfully called. It stings so much that someone would

1294
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:32,920
Speaker 1: think to use CPS workers to bully us into rehoming

1295
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:37,160
Speaker 1: our actual dogs and stop fostering, just because they admit

1296
00:59:37,440 --> 00:59:39,720
Speaker 1: they don't understand how or why we live the way

1297
00:59:39,760 --> 00:59:43,440
Speaker 1: we do. I think I'm more heartbroken than anything, because

1298
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:47,600
Speaker 1: I can't fathom why someone would hypothetically put us through this.

1299
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 3: It's like, why, what huh?

1300
00:59:50,880 --> 00:59:54,240
Speaker 1: Even our non dog loving family members have acknowledged that

1301
00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:57,240
Speaker 1: our dogs are all very friendly and our home is

1302
00:59:57,240 --> 01:00:00,040
Speaker 1: a safe environment for our child as much as I

1303
01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:03,000
Speaker 1: love each and every one of my very little toddlers,

1304
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:07,200
Speaker 1: the dogs. I know they are animals and would never

1305
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:09,400
Speaker 1: keep one if I had any suspicion they could hurt

1306
01:00:09,400 --> 01:00:12,840
Speaker 1: my child or their friends. I know CPS wouldn't actually

1307
01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,439
Speaker 1: remove our child, but I can't stop wondering if every

1308
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:19,080
Speaker 1: knock or phone call is from a worker starting an investigation.

1309
01:00:19,840 --> 01:00:22,360
Speaker 1: Would I be an a hole if I ceased contact

1310
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: with my mother in law and father in law. I

1311
01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:27,200
Speaker 1: don't know if I even have anything to say to them.

1312
01:00:27,480 --> 01:00:29,240
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can even look at them.

1313
01:00:29,520 --> 01:00:32,200
Speaker 1: I can't even sleep because I'm worried they'll end up calling,

1314
01:00:32,600 --> 01:00:35,840
Speaker 1: even though they said they wouldn't. Why would they even

1315
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:38,160
Speaker 1: mention this? How can they say they love us and

1316
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:42,200
Speaker 1: not acknowledge how much investigation into a false allegation could

1317
01:00:42,200 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 1: affect our child, our jobs, everything, our whole life. Sorry

1318
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:48,120
Speaker 1: if this is all over the place, if anyone even

1319
01:00:48,160 --> 01:00:52,320
Speaker 1: reads this, oh, we're reading it. I know they never

1320
01:00:52,360 --> 01:00:54,480
Speaker 1: really liked us, since my spouse and I are very

1321
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 1: different from them. I just never thought they'd try to

1322
01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:58,800
Speaker 1: do this to us, let alone trying to use my

1323
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 1: family against this too. That's the thing. And they didn't,

1324
01:01:01,320 --> 01:01:03,720
Speaker 1: but they said they would. I am going no contact

1325
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:06,160
Speaker 1: with the in laws for the foreseeable future, as is

1326
01:01:06,200 --> 01:01:06,720
Speaker 1: our child.

1327
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:10,400
Speaker 3: By fair, there we go, fair fair.

1328
01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 1: My spouse is leaning towards no contact, but at the

1329
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:17,400
Speaker 1: very least severely limiting contact. They have spent all day

1330
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:21,760
Speaker 1: today after our phone call last night. Oh so they

1331
01:01:21,840 --> 01:01:26,320
Speaker 1: did confront and did directly communicate about this. I guess

1332
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 1: they have spent all day today insisting that they weren't

1333
01:01:30,480 --> 01:01:35,680
Speaker 1: actually threatening to call CPS. They refused to understand why

1334
01:01:35,720 --> 01:01:38,200
Speaker 1: we were both so upset and kept trying to turn

1335
01:01:38,280 --> 01:01:41,360
Speaker 1: the blame back around on us, saying we weren't listening

1336
01:01:41,440 --> 01:01:44,120
Speaker 1: to them and the CPS comments weren't a big deal.

1337
01:01:44,520 --> 01:01:47,160
Speaker 1: This unfortunately fits a larger pattern of them trying to

1338
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:50,480
Speaker 1: control our lives and being angry or disappointed or annoyed

1339
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,080
Speaker 1: that we just have very different lives. The fact my

1340
01:01:54,120 --> 01:01:56,720
Speaker 1: spouse and I are very equal and independent people is

1341
01:01:56,760 --> 01:02:00,160
Speaker 1: a constant issue they keep dancing around. Nothing about us

1342
01:02:00,240 --> 01:02:03,080
Speaker 1: is traditional, and despite what they claim, they don't love

1343
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:06,560
Speaker 1: that about us. Most disagreements or attempts to control us

1344
01:02:06,600 --> 01:02:09,520
Speaker 1: come from these differences and why we should actually act

1345
01:02:09,840 --> 01:02:13,960
Speaker 1: more like them. Also to address some questions in the comments.

1346
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,320
Speaker 1: We do live in a rural area controlled by the county,

1347
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:20,480
Speaker 1: not the city. There are no restrictions on animals as

1348
01:02:20,520 --> 01:02:23,400
Speaker 1: long as they are healthy and not exotic. We have

1349
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:26,240
Speaker 1: a lot of dogs for a city, but out here

1350
01:02:26,400 --> 01:02:28,920
Speaker 1: people aren't even surprised when we say we have six.

1351
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,600
Speaker 1: Many of them have at least three, and then a

1352
01:02:31,680 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 1: variety of other animals on their perspective properties. We just

1353
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 1: didn't want other animals as we've been involved in dog

1354
01:02:37,280 --> 01:02:42,120
Speaker 1: rescue for several years. Yeah, our household operates more like

1355
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:45,440
Speaker 1: a small farm than a typical suburban household. My spouse

1356
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:48,360
Speaker 1: and my own work schedules allow our household to operate

1357
01:02:48,360 --> 01:02:51,160
Speaker 1: the way it does. Won't go into specifics, but I

1358
01:02:51,240 --> 01:02:53,800
Speaker 1: will say the way it's arranged allows one or the

1359
01:02:53,840 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 1: other of us to care for our child at home

1360
01:02:55,960 --> 01:02:59,080
Speaker 1: versus putting them in daycare. This also makes daily cleaning

1361
01:02:59,080 --> 01:03:01,360
Speaker 1: a lot more feasible, along with my spouse and I

1362
01:03:01,480 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 1: being very equal partners. And we have a second update?

1363
01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:08,840
Speaker 1: Oh right, have we reopened the door here?

1364
01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:09,560
Speaker 5: Is that?

1365
01:03:09,640 --> 01:03:11,600
Speaker 1: What the second update is? I don't know.

1366
01:03:11,760 --> 01:03:16,120
Speaker 3: It was a m let's find out update number two.

1367
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:21,200
Speaker 1: I genuinely appreciated the outside perspectives, including those who rightfully

1368
01:03:21,280 --> 01:03:24,640
Speaker 1: question our sanity and the legality of owning six dogs

1369
01:03:24,840 --> 01:03:28,680
Speaker 1: and still fosteringl I will say many people do not

1370
01:03:28,840 --> 01:03:31,640
Speaker 1: have reputable sources for determining the number of animals you're

1371
01:03:31,640 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 1: allowed to own. Just as an FYI, my state, county,

1372
01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: and local city do not have a limit on dogs,

1373
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:39,680
Speaker 1: and I do not live in any of the states

1374
01:03:39,680 --> 01:03:42,400
Speaker 1: mentioned by commenters in the first post. I assist with

1375
01:03:42,440 --> 01:03:44,960
Speaker 1: an animal nonprofit in addition to the fostering, so I

1376
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,040
Speaker 1: am aware of any current and proposed changes to ownership

1377
01:03:48,120 --> 01:03:50,880
Speaker 1: laws for my area. I also live well outside the

1378
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:54,240
Speaker 1: nearest city limits and couldn't imagine having this many animals

1379
01:03:54,240 --> 01:03:58,320
Speaker 1: and not having some dedicated land for them. I freaking

1380
01:03:58,360 --> 01:04:03,160
Speaker 1: love you op. None of them are great Danes, but

1381
01:04:03,320 --> 01:04:06,000
Speaker 1: only one of them is a quote unquote small breed

1382
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:09,760
Speaker 1: of dog. My spouse, child, and myself are no contact

1383
01:04:09,800 --> 01:04:11,640
Speaker 1: with mother in law and father in law for the

1384
01:04:11,680 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 1: foreseeable future. They didn't call CPS, but refused to take

1385
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 1: responsibility and fell into their typical pattern of gas lighting

1386
01:04:18,480 --> 01:04:21,600
Speaker 1: to make my spouse and I look childish and spiteful.

1387
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:24,920
Speaker 1: This unfortunately follows the pattern of behavior that made my

1388
01:04:25,000 --> 01:04:28,120
Speaker 1: spouse start therapy shortly before the birth of our child.

1389
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:32,880
Speaker 1: They frequently say mean, hurtful or borderline derogatory comments and

1390
01:04:32,920 --> 01:04:36,360
Speaker 1: then turn around and deny ever saying them. If we

1391
01:04:36,400 --> 01:04:39,600
Speaker 1: have proofs, such as texts, they'll insist they were joking

1392
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:44,320
Speaker 1: or they misunderstood the context, even though the context is

1393
01:04:44,400 --> 01:04:48,200
Speaker 1: pretty affing clear. A notable example is mother in law

1394
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,120
Speaker 1: telling my spouse they needed to keep me under control

1395
01:04:51,160 --> 01:04:53,560
Speaker 1: when my spouse and I were planning our wedding because

1396
01:04:53,600 --> 01:04:56,480
Speaker 1: basically every aspect of the wedding was non traditional and

1397
01:04:56,560 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 1: this was a huge offense to my mother in law.

1398
01:04:59,640 --> 01:05:02,040
Speaker 1: This is despite the fact that my mother in law

1399
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:04,920
Speaker 1: is not even religious. Nothing about our wedding was scandalous

1400
01:05:05,000 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 1: or offensive, and my partner and I decided on every

1401
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:13,440
Speaker 1: aspect of our wedding together. She to this day tells

1402
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:16,240
Speaker 1: us it was a joke or that she didn't actually

1403
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 1: say it, just depending on her mood. Was it a

1404
01:05:19,840 --> 01:05:24,120
Speaker 1: joke or was it literally yeah, gotta pick one. Did

1405
01:05:24,200 --> 01:05:25,520
Speaker 1: you stay yet or did you not?

1406
01:05:25,760 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 3: Those are mutually explicit.

1407
01:05:27,560 --> 01:05:30,960
Speaker 1: Despite her ranting to other family members about it and

1408
01:05:31,080 --> 01:05:35,439
Speaker 1: everyone else remembering it as being completely sincere she would

1409
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:38,760
Speaker 1: pull that stuff. It's easier to see this now that

1410
01:05:38,840 --> 01:05:41,520
Speaker 1: my spouse and I aren't dealing with the immediate after

1411
01:05:41,560 --> 01:05:44,040
Speaker 1: effects of the CPS comment to my family. It took

1412
01:05:44,120 --> 01:05:46,480
Speaker 1: us by surprise, and it hurt so much this time

1413
01:05:46,800 --> 01:05:50,040
Speaker 1: because we genuinely thought my spouse's parents had changed. I

1414
01:05:50,200 --> 01:05:53,080
Speaker 1: was really trying to overlook the past so my child

1415
01:05:53,200 --> 01:05:56,880
Speaker 1: and future children have a good relationship with them. The

1416
01:05:56,960 --> 01:06:00,200
Speaker 1: fact this time around they basically said that they don't

1417
01:06:00,240 --> 01:06:02,480
Speaker 1: like us because we're too different from them and too

1418
01:06:02,560 --> 01:06:06,080
Speaker 1: hard to understand was a really bitter pill to swallow.

1419
01:06:06,080 --> 01:06:09,520
Speaker 1: Maybe it's the fact that my family is so close,

1420
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:12,280
Speaker 1: but I don't understand how someone can say that and

1421
01:06:12,400 --> 01:06:15,280
Speaker 1: in the next breath say they love us entirely. We're

1422
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:18,520
Speaker 1: not even that out there or extremist in any sense.

1423
01:06:18,840 --> 01:06:21,240
Speaker 1: We get along with my huge extended family and they

1424
01:06:21,280 --> 01:06:24,040
Speaker 1: come in just about every shade, flavor and personality under

1425
01:06:24,040 --> 01:06:27,480
Speaker 1: the sun. I can't let my child or future children

1426
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:30,240
Speaker 1: think love from their family is conditional on them being

1427
01:06:30,280 --> 01:06:35,760
Speaker 1: carbon copies of anyone, including their grandparents. Apparently, minor differences

1428
01:06:35,800 --> 01:06:38,240
Speaker 1: in how we spend our free time. They like binge

1429
01:06:38,240 --> 01:06:40,880
Speaker 1: watching TV and staying in bed and breakfast. We like

1430
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:45,040
Speaker 1: board games and volunteering, for example, and our personal style

1431
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:48,080
Speaker 1: choices is too much for them to handle. Despite being

1432
01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:52,960
Speaker 1: self proclaimed feminists and staunchly non religious, Apparently men still

1433
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,520
Speaker 1: aren't supposed to have long hair or wear nail polish,

1434
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 1: and women should wear makeup, or at least that's how

1435
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,520
Speaker 1: their children and their spouses are supposed to be. I

1436
01:07:00,560 --> 01:07:02,440
Speaker 1: guess the best news out of this is we are

1437
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:05,480
Speaker 1: now closer with the rest of my spouse's family. They

1438
01:07:05,480 --> 01:07:07,560
Speaker 1: were horrified about what mother in law and father in

1439
01:07:07,640 --> 01:07:11,680
Speaker 1: law said, and even more appalled by the gas lighting after.

1440
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:15,440
Speaker 1: We weren't expecting the support and were trying to prepare

1441
01:07:15,480 --> 01:07:18,240
Speaker 1: ourselves from being cut off from everyone, But we are

1442
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:21,440
Speaker 1: so grateful that's not the case. I have grown to

1443
01:07:21,480 --> 01:07:24,200
Speaker 1: love my spouse's family even more than I already did,

1444
01:07:24,440 --> 01:07:27,720
Speaker 1: and I'm so thankful that my spouse does have love

1445
01:07:27,760 --> 01:07:30,160
Speaker 1: and support from their side of the family. While my

1446
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:33,000
Speaker 1: parents adore my spouse as their own, I know it

1447
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 1: means a lot to my spouse to have their own

1448
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 1: family members too. Not to mention our few close but

1449
01:07:39,320 --> 01:07:41,840
Speaker 1: dear friends that have been eager for us to have kids,

1450
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:44,120
Speaker 1: so they can be the best aunts and uncles they

1451
01:07:44,160 --> 01:07:47,680
Speaker 1: possibly can. I don't wish any ill on my in laws,

1452
01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:50,120
Speaker 1: and I'm almost sad to say our lives have been

1453
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:53,720
Speaker 1: calmer and happier without them in it. Can't control their choices,

1454
01:07:54,280 --> 01:07:57,120
Speaker 1: and I can't stand to let them hurt my spouse

1455
01:07:57,160 --> 01:08:00,200
Speaker 1: any longer or possibly start doing the same thing to

1456
01:08:00,240 --> 01:08:03,560
Speaker 1: our child. They can make their own choices and live

1457
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 1: with those consequences.

1458
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 3: Wow.

1459
01:08:06,880 --> 01:08:11,320
Speaker 1: There, Yes, I love this philosophy because it's like, truly,

1460
01:08:11,400 --> 01:08:13,560
Speaker 1: it's like people are gonna make their own choices and

1461
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:15,400
Speaker 1: then people are gonna have to deal with their consequences.

1462
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:18,679
Speaker 1: It's like you cannot control their choices, you cannot control

1463
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:21,920
Speaker 1: their reactions. All that you can do is control your

1464
01:08:22,240 --> 01:08:27,439
Speaker 1: like truth and the way you operate exactly what bam bam. Nice,

1465
01:08:27,560 --> 01:08:28,679
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story.