WEBVTT - Best Of Dear Chelsea: Brooke Shields 0:00:00.960 --> 0:00:06.359 Hi there everybody. What's going on? Hi Chelsea, what's happening? 0:00:07.120 --> 0:00:09.040 Hui's go in really good. 0:00:09.160 --> 0:00:12.320 Actually, our little puppy is growing up. He's a month 0:00:12.360 --> 0:00:15.880 older and you know, getting potty trained, getting there, getting there. 0:00:16.079 --> 0:00:19.800 Wendell Begnet is a month older. Poor Wendell Beignet. What's 0:00:19.840 --> 0:00:21.119 going to happen to Wendall's life? 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:23.320 He's going to get chubby like a pugshit, He's. 0:00:23.200 --> 0:00:25.840 Going to come out of the closet very soon. Oh yes, yes, 0:00:25.960 --> 0:00:28.120 he's definitely. He's definitely gay. For sure. 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:32.960 He for sure is with a name like that. Well, Chelsea, 0:00:33.080 --> 0:00:35.600 I have a quick follow up for you. This is 0:00:35.600 --> 0:00:38.720 from Rachel. She called in on our mic Berbiglia episode 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:40.880 and she was the one who was getting married and 0:00:41.080 --> 0:00:43.360 her brother in law was not letting her sister's kids 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:46.440 come to the wedding. Hi, Catherine and Chelsea. I'm so 0:00:46.479 --> 0:00:49.440 sorry about just now replying. I was waiting and hoping 0:00:49.600 --> 0:00:53.280 that something would possibly change, but unfortunately that did not happen. 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:56.000 My niece and nephew will sadly not be a part 0:00:56.040 --> 0:00:58.680 of my wedding. We're about forty days from the big day, 0:00:58.960 --> 0:01:01.000 and after trying to reach out to my ex brother 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.840 in law again. We've just accepted the situation as it is. 0:01:04.400 --> 0:01:06.759 It's been about eight months since he and I have spoken, 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:08.920 and things are so messy that he and my sister 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:12.039 still have to communicate through a co parenting app for 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:15.920 documentation and legal purposes. It's a parent that he's hurting 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:17.840 deep down, and I just hope he can get some 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.560 help and heal one day. On the bright side, my 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:24.200 sister seems happier than ever nowadays. She's thriving in her 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:26.839 career as an elementary school principle, and she's been able 0:01:26.840 --> 0:01:28.840 to really focus on herself for the first time in 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:31.720 a while. So we've taken your advice and decided to 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:35.480 have a private quote pretend wedding in my parents' backyard 0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:38.400 the week before our wedding. That way, my niece and 0:01:38.480 --> 0:01:40.800 nephew can be our flower girl and ring bearer and 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:44.560 have all the attention and happiness directed toward them. Truthfully, 0:01:44.600 --> 0:01:46.600 I just want them to be okay and not have 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:49.920 their childhood stripped of their innocence. Chelsea and Catherine, you 0:01:50.000 --> 0:01:52.520 two are awesome. Thank you for keeping us all laughing 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:56.880 during some shitty situations. Love Rachel PS. I'll be sure 0:01:56.880 --> 0:01:58.680 to send a picture of the three of us at 0:01:58.680 --> 0:02:00.760 our backyard wedding. Stay tuned. 0:02:01.320 --> 0:02:04.000 Oh that's cute, nice solution. That's good. Yeah, that's all 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:07.560 good vibes. Too bad about the brother, but whatever it is. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:09.920 And sometimes we just have to let other people do 0:02:10.000 --> 0:02:11.600 what they're going to do and make the best of 0:02:11.639 --> 0:02:14.120 a situation. And I'm really happy that she's choosing to 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:17.079 do that. We've got an amazing guest today, Chelsea. 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:21.520 Yeah, we do. Actually we just worked together sort of 0:02:21.760 --> 0:02:26.200 but not really. We both did Kim Kardashian's Skim's campaign 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:30.400 bra campaign, uh huh, and we both I noticed, used 0:02:30.440 --> 0:02:33.520 the same hair dresser. Oh, hair dresser, that's like an 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:37.639 art an outdated term. But anyway, hair stylist Vernado, the 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:41.440 sky Ronado, and her hair looked so badass during the 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:44.000 campaign or for the photos. When we got all the photos, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:45.440 I was like, I thought my hair looked good. And 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:47.080 then I saw brook Shields's hair and I was like, 0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:50.520 whoa wait, But then I realized she's Brookshields. Yes, that's 0:02:50.520 --> 0:02:52.080 who our guess is today, Brooks Shields. 0:02:52.720 --> 0:02:54.880 Yeah, she is known for her luscious hair. 0:02:55.320 --> 0:02:57.119 Oh, she's known for her lusciousness. 0:02:57.320 --> 0:02:57.600 Yes. 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:03.360 Absolutely. She is an actress, model, CEO and host of 0:03:03.400 --> 0:03:08.880 the Now What podcast. Please welcome Brookshields. Hi, Brooke, Hi, Hi, 0:03:08.960 --> 0:03:09.520 how are you? 0:03:09.840 --> 0:03:10.400 I'm good? 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:10.840 How are you? 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:11.760 How are you feeling? 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.000 Oh? My god better? But I sell my throat still 0:03:14.000 --> 0:03:17.000 has a pickle, a tickle pickle every I guess it 0:03:17.080 --> 0:03:19.200 must be post nasal drip. But I'm lying in bed 0:03:19.200 --> 0:03:21.320 and I go like this fifty thousand times. I'm glad 0:03:21.360 --> 0:03:23.320 I'm single at this time in my life because I 0:03:23.320 --> 0:03:25.560 don't know who would want to have sex with me. All. 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:31.760 I always like this, Chris does that, My husband Chris 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:36.960 does It drives me insane because it's neither nor It's 0:03:37.000 --> 0:03:41.320 not a great cough and it's not really it's something else. 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:43.839 Commit to one or the other. 0:03:44.440 --> 0:03:47.040 On the subject of your husband, Chris. Actually good place 0:03:47.080 --> 0:03:50.160 to start for us because I knew Chris years ago, 0:03:50.160 --> 0:03:52.240 which I think I told you about. I used to 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:55.040 wait tables at a place called Roasty on Montana and 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:57.400 Chris was a young writer who would come in and 0:03:57.440 --> 0:03:59.520 he was a really nice guy, and I think he 0:03:59.560 --> 0:04:01.480 had some friends and he would come in with other 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:04.040 writer guys. Yeah, And he would come in and That's 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:05.920 how I knew him. And then he went off and 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:07.880 married you, and then I never saw him again. 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:11.560 Well see where was the natural progression? 0:04:11.800 --> 0:04:16.200 Yeah, exactly Matt, who stopped speaking to me completely. Oh 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.520 he said to say hi, by the way, Oh tell 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:21.159 him I say hi back, please. 0:04:21.200 --> 0:04:22.880 I will, I will, I will, I will. 0:04:23.240 --> 0:04:28.480 But you guys have had such a long successful relationship, marriage, partnership. 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:30.800 I was wondering if you could speak to that and 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:34.120 tell us a little bit about how you feel about 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:37.040 your side of the street and your relationship, how you 0:04:37.080 --> 0:04:39.560 feel like you've grown as a woman within your relationship 0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:42.920 with having a family and everything, because these are things 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:46.120 I can't really relate to. So I'm so curious. 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:50.480 I'm his first marriage, or he likes to say I'm 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:55.279 her current marriage. But I had a marriage before, and 0:04:55.800 --> 0:04:58.880 I think that that was probably a really great thing 0:04:59.040 --> 0:05:03.360 because I learned really what I didn't want in a relationship. 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:06.600 Maybe I should have learned it without having to actually 0:05:06.640 --> 0:05:09.880 go through the marriage, but I think that it's first 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:13.560 of all, it's a lot is attributable to him because 0:05:13.600 --> 0:05:19.720 he's a very solid person. He doesn't get threatened easily 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:23.159 by any of any of that. I come with a lot. 0:05:23.960 --> 0:05:26.120 You know, I come with a lot. It's it's hard, 0:05:26.360 --> 0:05:30.160 not only my history, but because I'm recognized and because 0:05:30.600 --> 0:05:33.080 the world feels like they own me. I think that, 0:05:33.640 --> 0:05:35.960 you know, I come with a lot. So he's very, 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:39.360 very patient. And one of the things that I think 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:43.680 what he was willing to do is adapt to certain 0:05:43.720 --> 0:05:47.279 things that I have asked him. For instance, when we 0:05:47.320 --> 0:05:50.360 first met, it was always funny how he would make 0:05:50.360 --> 0:05:52.320 fun of me. And he made fun of me like, 0:05:52.680 --> 0:05:56.680 just I do really geeky, stupid things, and like I'm 0:05:56.720 --> 0:06:00.040 that kid that always had the different color highlighters and 0:06:00.080 --> 0:06:03.000 I'm organizing and I like underlining, and you know, I 0:06:03.080 --> 0:06:06.080 just I do things that are kind of geeky. And 0:06:06.920 --> 0:06:08.520 he used to make fun of me, or the fact 0:06:08.560 --> 0:06:10.880 that I couldn't cook. And it was cute in the 0:06:10.920 --> 0:06:14.359 beginning because it was it felt really personal, but it 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:17.599 was never mean. But they were little things. And as 0:06:17.920 --> 0:06:20.520 you know, like ten years into the relationship, I said 0:06:20.560 --> 0:06:24.280 to him, you know what, I'm growing as a person 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.760 and I don't want to self deprecate as much as 0:06:27.800 --> 0:06:30.240 I used to in the same way and for the 0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:33.400 same reasons. And you kind of knocking me down a 0:06:33.440 --> 0:06:36.159 couple of pegs doesn't feel cute anymore to me. 0:06:36.800 --> 0:06:37.080 Wow. 0:06:37.120 --> 0:06:39.000 And I know it sounds like a bait and switch, 0:06:39.480 --> 0:06:42.919 and I know I'm changing the terms here, but we 0:06:43.000 --> 0:06:47.200 all have to adapt. And you've mentioned accountability when we 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.000 were talking one time, and I think that there is 0:06:49.040 --> 0:06:52.840 accountability to You're not trying to change the other person, 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.799 but there are certain things that have to become a compromise, 0:06:56.880 --> 0:06:58.839 and you have to be able to express what you 0:06:58.920 --> 0:07:03.279 need and also be able to change in little ways 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:06.080 that do make a huge difference to your partner. And 0:07:06.400 --> 0:07:09.400 that type of back and forth in exchange has been 0:07:09.440 --> 0:07:13.440 just really healthy for us. Wow. Yeah, Like he'll if 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:16.680 I start a sentence with to him, I don't think 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:20.200 you realize how much I have on my plate, or 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:25.360 something like that, he cannot stand it because it underestimates 0:07:26.000 --> 0:07:30.360 how much he really does understand about me and my life, 0:07:30.400 --> 0:07:33.160 and so he'll get prickly with something like that. So 0:07:33.240 --> 0:07:36.360 I have to keep in mind that that's not a kind, 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:39.400 that's not a rhetoric. That it just makes him bristle 0:07:39.520 --> 0:07:42.240 and he in a second, he's got his eye up, 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:45.280 you know. So I think that the willingness to be 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:48.160 you know, people say, oh, friendship, and so first of all, 0:07:48.240 --> 0:07:52.680 laughter is just key. I mean, he just makes me 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:57.000 laugh and that's been a big part of our relationship. 0:07:57.480 --> 0:08:00.960 He is such a good father and he's in the time, 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:05.960 and that makes being a mother so much more palatable 0:08:06.280 --> 0:08:09.720 in many ways for me, even though I've always wanted 0:08:09.760 --> 0:08:13.280 to have kids. It's really not easy, and it's a 0:08:13.360 --> 0:08:13.920 full time. 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:18.040 It's just forever, and then some it's forever, and then 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:19.840 some it's never over now. 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:23.160 And sometimes loving that much it's just to pain the ass. 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:25.040 You're just like, why am I doing this to myself? 0:08:25.360 --> 0:08:26.760 Yeah, I can imagine. 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.280 It's the kind of worry that you're just like, God, 0:08:29.120 --> 0:08:34.000 did I want to feel this horrible? It's weird. I mean, 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:37.000 I have that conversation with a really good friend of 0:08:37.000 --> 0:08:40.439 mine and she's sort of belaboring the fact that she's 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:45.440 not having children and she never wanted them, And then 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:48.240 the clock got a certain to a certain place, and 0:08:48.240 --> 0:08:50.840 then it became difficult, and then it became, oh, no, 0:08:50.880 --> 0:08:53.080 what am I missing out on? And I said, you know, 0:08:53.240 --> 0:08:57.239 don't lose sight of how you can get love from 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:01.959 her husband's grandchildren or how you know. And also to 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.400 keep in mind that she never was motivated to have 0:09:04.480 --> 0:09:08.280 to do it wasn't a part of her the way 0:09:08.320 --> 0:09:09.320 it was a part of me. 0:09:10.040 --> 0:09:12.000 I say that in my stand up special, my new 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:13.880 standup special, I talk about like, if you're on the 0:09:13.920 --> 0:09:16.640 fence at all about becoming a mother, then don't become 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:18.719 a mother. Like if you're questioning it, if you're not 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:21.600 one hundred and fifty percent in in it and saying 0:09:21.600 --> 0:09:23.640 like this is what I want, I can't live without it, 0:09:23.840 --> 0:09:26.200 then you shouldn't have a baby because it is that 0:09:26.280 --> 0:09:28.480 kind of commitment. You can't be like, well, I guess 0:09:28.520 --> 0:09:30.400 I'm getting older and I may as well have one. 0:09:30.760 --> 0:09:32.760 You know, tell your friends to call me. I'll just 0:09:32.800 --> 0:09:33.440 shake her out. 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.720 Well, it's also true that, you know, ay, I don't 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:39.640 I respect the way you talk about it, because not 0:09:39.920 --> 0:09:43.600 everybody should want to have children. If they don't want to, 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:47.240 they shouldn't be shamed into it. And it's a you know, 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:50.800 it is also it's the kind of thing that there's 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:53.000 a lot to it, and you know it's not going 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:55.679 to fix a relationship. I hear couples talk about, you know, 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.160 their marriage is having trouble and they think a baby 0:09:58.200 --> 0:09:58.960 is going to fix it. 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:03.840 Trust me, No, it's not that whatever your problems are 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:07.600 become magnified right when you have a baby, absolutely, and 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:10.560 then the blame starts and you're just like, this is 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:14.960 just becoming degraded. Now what Okay? Because I know you have, 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.280 You've spoken a lot and written a lot about your 0:10:17.360 --> 0:10:20.320 relationship and the difficulties with your relationship with your own mother, 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.880 and so I think for your I'm so curious about 0:10:23.880 --> 0:10:26.160 when you became a mother. I mean, you must have 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.840 had such an inner dialogue going on for fear of 0:10:29.000 --> 0:10:32.520 replicating any of the stuff that was so painful or 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:33.280 hurtful to you. 0:10:34.679 --> 0:10:38.400 The weirdest thing is I've done so much work on 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:43.480 myself in therapy for decades that I focused on the 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:46.760 things that I want to replicate rather than just the 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:49.120 things I didn't want to replicate because I had done 0:10:49.160 --> 0:10:52.880 so much work. And so to compare myself in any 0:10:52.920 --> 0:10:56.600 way in a negative way to a woman who really 0:10:56.960 --> 0:11:00.000 was so broken and couldn't do the work on herself 0:11:00.120 --> 0:11:03.000 or for herself, and you know it's not only just alcoholic. 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:06.360 I don't think she could ever get through step seven 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:09.200 or whatever the amends one is. But I think that 0:11:10.040 --> 0:11:15.720 her humor was so important, her willingness to have fun 0:11:16.200 --> 0:11:20.480 with me, her belief that I should always have someone 0:11:20.600 --> 0:11:24.800 my own age around me, even within this industry. Her 0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:30.920 very frank way of discussing anything. You know, she was ballsy, 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:34.600 and that really protected me. And so I try to 0:11:34.640 --> 0:11:38.560 remember those things, and I try to be careful about 0:11:38.720 --> 0:11:42.400 my drinking because I know that that is in my blood. 0:11:42.960 --> 0:11:47.880 I'm surprised at how how much freedom emotionally I give 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:52.160 my kids. You know how, I never thought that talking 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:55.480 to them about sex and talking to I thought because 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:57.640 my mother never talked to me about anything. You just 0:11:57.679 --> 0:12:01.479 were told, don't do it, you'll burn an hell. And 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:04.680 then I became sort of known for being a virgin. 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:11.120 We talk about everything together and I have no judgment 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:14.680 and I'm shocked at myself. Wow, you know, I mean, 0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.319 we talk about it all, and I didn't think that 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.360 i'd be comfortable with it on that level. 0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:22.960 Yeah, I can see what you mean by that. I mean, 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:25.800 I'm just thinking about my nieces and nephews and I'm like, yeah, 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:28.080 I guess I would be the closest to non judgmental, 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:30.880 but I'm still they're like my little babies and I'm like, 0:12:30.920 --> 0:12:33.040 I can't even think about the things that they might 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:34.520 be getting up to right now. 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:39.280 It's crazy. It's just so crazy. And but I, you know, 0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:42.920 I always say, it's just it's important that you have 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:48.680 an ally within these these times in your life because 0:12:49.360 --> 0:12:53.120 you're gonna need it. And who better than your mom 0:12:53.360 --> 0:12:57.800 in my case with her, because I'm always going to 0:12:57.840 --> 0:13:01.160 be here for whatever it is. I'm like, but don't 0:13:01.160 --> 0:13:01.760 be an idiot. 0:13:02.160 --> 0:13:04.440 Do either of your girls remind you of your mom? Oh, 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:10.199 that's a great question. There are sometimes when my older 0:13:10.280 --> 0:13:16.120 daughter will do something that is just so defiant, like 0:13:16.120 --> 0:13:20.319 she's got balls, my daughter, And you think that I 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:22.520 would see my mom do that, or she would do 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:27.120 things just to be the first one dancing on the 0:13:27.160 --> 0:13:30.360 table or something like that. So there are some kind 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:33.560 of ballsy and her sense of humor, My mom's sense 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:39.160 of humor does really sort of breathe through Rowan in particular. Yeah, 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:42.200 that's cool. That must be really like meaningful to see 0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:45.920 it is because I'll say things that my mother would 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:50.000 have said that just can sound borderline, Like you know, 0:13:50.000 --> 0:13:53.120 when a dog is outside the deli or something and 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:56.600 they're looking inside to see where their master is like 0:13:56.640 --> 0:13:59.240 their masters, like they just can't they can only look 0:13:59.240 --> 0:14:00.640 at theirs, her or whatever. 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:03.559 My mother used to walk by the dogs and go, 0:14:04.200 --> 0:14:09.920 she's never coming back, which is a sick joke. It's 0:14:09.920 --> 0:14:12.480 a sick joke. And and my mom was full of 0:14:12.520 --> 0:14:16.360 sick jokes like that, and so and I would like 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:19.080 try them out on rowan and she was like, Mom, 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:22.040 that's so sick, but it's so fucking funny. 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.600 That's cute. Well, I think that's a really beautiful sentiment. 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:30.840 You know. Taking the best out of a relationship is 0:14:30.880 --> 0:14:33.920 what we should all be doing, out of our difficult relationships, 0:14:33.960 --> 0:14:36.480 out of our beautiful relationships, out of our best relationships, 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:40.200 but taking the best things about that and trying to 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:43.000 replicate those instead of focusing on the things that you 0:14:43.040 --> 0:14:45.560 don't want to replicate, focusing on the things that you do. 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:48.280 The minute you start going down the road of the 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:50.760 things you don't want or the things that are bad, 0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:55.400 you're now demonizing this person even more, especially if they're 0:14:55.440 --> 0:14:58.640 not alive, right, and then you're not even giving yourself 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:01.760 a chance to sort of not live with rose colored 0:15:01.760 --> 0:15:04.240 glasses about who they were, but to also sort of 0:15:04.280 --> 0:15:07.680 say people are complex and I'm going to try to 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:11.000 shift this and start with a positive rather than, you know, 0:15:11.320 --> 0:15:15.280 making myself terrified that i'm you know things. I'm my 0:15:15.320 --> 0:15:17.320 own person too, you know, And I think that that's 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:20.080 important for people to remember, is that they are they 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:21.520 can be their own people. 0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.720 Right exactly. Okay, So we are going to take a 0:15:24.760 --> 0:15:26.760 quick break, and then we're going to come back and 0:15:26.800 --> 0:15:29.120 get to some callers who need some life advice. Brook, 0:15:29.200 --> 0:15:31.240 We're going to dish it out, okay, and give real 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.880 people advice on what to do in situations. Catherine, are 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:36.920 we ready to take a quick break. We're ready to 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:38.960 take a quick Yes, Oh my god, we're taking a 0:15:39.000 --> 0:15:40.280 break and we'll be right back. 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:46.000 And we're back and we're back. 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:48.680 Well, you know what, I'm going to switch up the 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:51.240 order that I intended these in because we've already been 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.480 talking about dogs, and I see you have it's Pepper 0:15:53.640 --> 0:15:55.240 right of Pepper there at it's. 0:15:55.160 --> 0:15:57.800 Clearly bored because she just got up and left down. 0:15:57.880 --> 0:15:59.800 Aren't dogs all bored all the time? Is not where 0:15:59.800 --> 0:16:02.160 there's sleeping all of the time, and my dogs are 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:03.240 sleeping all of the time. 0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.400 I feel like cats are more bored than dogs. I 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.280 think I don't know. Mine is so neurotic and insecure. 0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:10.920 My dogs are like cats. 0:16:11.160 --> 0:16:14.160 I have two cat dogs, wow, and I have a 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:21.160 neurotic separation anxiety dog Milcks. She's a Portuguese water dog. 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:24.160 I mean, I oh, those are nice dogs. What happens 0:16:24.200 --> 0:16:25.800 when you have a dog in the city. Isn't that 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:28.240 just a fucking huge pain in the ass brook to 0:16:28.320 --> 0:16:30.640 have to go outside into the city every time they 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:31.360 need to go out. 0:16:32.120 --> 0:16:35.280 Yeah, it's it can be a bit can be, but 0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:38.680 you know, you get your dog people in town and 0:16:39.160 --> 0:16:42.400 we are able to leave the city in the summer 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:44.720 and have the best of both worlds. I mean, what's 0:16:44.720 --> 0:16:48.080 hard is making sure your dog can tell you when 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:50.120 they have to go to the bathroom, which, like I 0:16:50.240 --> 0:16:52.960 now know her look obviously when she's got to go, 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:55.240 but she's not clear, Like she doesn't go to the 0:16:55.240 --> 0:16:58.120 door and like paw the door. So there's been many 0:16:58.120 --> 0:16:59.440 a package left for eh. 0:16:59.600 --> 0:17:03.960 Yes, we trained our little pog Mimsy using bells, so 0:17:04.040 --> 0:17:05.720 she if she has to go out, she just goes 0:17:05.760 --> 0:17:07.280 and rings the bell. I mean we take her out 0:17:07.280 --> 0:17:10.160 at regular intervals anyway. But it's it's a life saver. 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:11.360 It's a carpet saver. 0:17:11.600 --> 0:17:14.200 Yeah, well it's too fucking late for us, Sat. Thanks 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.280 for the hot tip. Now, I mean, we can't train 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:18.840 these dogs to ring doorbells, sorry or bells? 0:17:19.000 --> 0:17:22.560 Dog can't learn? Okay, Well, and I actually just got 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:24.600 a new puppy. But I actually picked this question for 0:17:24.640 --> 0:17:31.680 you weeks ago. So this question comes from Lindsay. Lindsay says, 0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:33.520 Dear Chelsea, should we get. 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:33.920 A new dog. 0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:37.000 It's been over four years since our dog passed away. 0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.160 She felt like a soulmate to me and we went 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:42.040 through so many life events together. I loved her in 0:17:42.080 --> 0:17:45.159 a way that makes my heart burst even today. Her 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:48.199 passing was tragic and took years to get through. I 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.399 feel her presence all the time, and I miss her 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.240 every day. In the last year, I've been finding myself 0:17:53.280 --> 0:17:56.280 wanting the physical presence of a dog again. However, I'm 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:59.040 terrified of not feeling that same love for a new dog. 0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:02.480 Well also being terrified that I'll feel that strong feeling again, 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.760 which ultimately means I'll feel terrible loss again. We travel often, 0:18:06.920 --> 0:18:09.360 have two senior cats and a six year old. Our 0:18:09.400 --> 0:18:11.359 lives are busy, so I also wonder if maybe the 0:18:11.400 --> 0:18:13.520 timing isn't right to add a dog to our family. 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:16.040 How will I know when the time is right? How 0:18:16.040 --> 0:18:17.920 do I get past the fear, Lindsey. 0:18:18.440 --> 0:18:20.600 Just get a fucking dog, Lindsay. I mean, this is 0:18:20.600 --> 0:18:22.320 not a hard problem at all. 0:18:22.640 --> 0:18:26.320 Go get a dog, and don't compare that dog all 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:31.080 the time to your deceased little love bug. Because it 0:18:31.119 --> 0:18:32.720 took me a while too, and I was like, I'm 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:34.280 not gonna love this dog as much, and then I 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:37.760 was resistant, and poor dog didn't know the difference. She 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:40.760 didn't know my other dog. You know, I just think, 0:18:40.800 --> 0:18:43.720 get a dog, and it's good for a little girl 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:46.680 to grow up with with a dog. I mean, yeah, 0:18:46.760 --> 0:18:49.679 you know you're gonna end up doing all the work, obviously, but. 0:18:50.040 --> 0:18:52.840 Also once you get a new dog, your love transfers. 0:18:53.119 --> 0:18:55.080 You don't have any choice but to love and focus 0:18:55.119 --> 0:18:57.520 on that dog that you're not gonna have be comparing 0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.679 it to your other dog, even like I've had so 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.520 many dogs, and every time you just have a different 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:04.720 kind of love for them, you're like, oh my god, 0:19:04.760 --> 0:19:07.040 this is my number one now. It actually helps you 0:19:07.080 --> 0:19:08.920 get over the loss of the other one too. 0:19:09.359 --> 0:19:11.840 Actually too, And if you have just one kid, I 0:19:11.880 --> 0:19:14.359 mean think about if you had another daughter, would you 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:17.560 only love the six year old more than the baby? 0:19:17.600 --> 0:19:21.040 I doubt it, Yeah, exactly, So you just it's like 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:22.000 growing another heart. 0:19:22.680 --> 0:19:24.160 So buck up and just go get that dog. 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:26.960 Okay, I think so, Lindsey, get the dog. 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:29.120 Well that was easy. 0:19:29.840 --> 0:19:31.800 That was probably the easiest question we've ever gotten. 0:19:31.880 --> 0:19:34.160 So oh boy, Okay. 0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:40.520 Well, our next question comes from Jesse. She's a caller. 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:44.239 She says, Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I recently went 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:47.720 on a camping trip with his whole family, mom, dad's sister, 0:19:47.880 --> 0:19:50.679 and his nephew. My nine year old son and our 0:19:50.720 --> 0:19:54.280 dog also joined us. Three days in, we had reservations 0:19:54.320 --> 0:19:57.480 to go whitewater rafting with my boyfriend's sister, her son, 0:19:57.680 --> 0:20:01.720 my son, and my boyfriend. Of the river was amazing. 0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.320 We were all laughing, screaming, and having the best time. 0:20:05.840 --> 0:20:08.280 Shortly into it, I decided to move back a seat 0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:10.879 to sit next to my boyfriend. His sister is an 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:13.600 aggressive type A and promptly turns around to tell me 0:20:13.680 --> 0:20:16.280 to move back to my original seat. I told her 0:20:16.280 --> 0:20:18.119 it should be fine because I'm still peddling in the 0:20:18.119 --> 0:20:21.000 same area I was before. She continued to tell me no, 0:20:21.240 --> 0:20:23.760 I need to move back. While raising her voice, I 0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:25.560