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Speaker 1: Hi there everybody. What's going on? Hi Chelsea, what's happening?

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Speaker 1: Hui's go in really good.

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Speaker 2: Actually, our little puppy is growing up. He's a month

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Speaker 2: older and you know, getting potty trained, getting there, getting there.

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Speaker 1: Wendell Begnet is a month older. Poor Wendell Beignet. What's

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Speaker 1: going to happen to Wendall's life?

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Speaker 2: He's going to get chubby like a pugshit, He's.

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Speaker 1: Going to come out of the closet very soon. Oh yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: he's definitely. He's definitely gay. For sure.

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Speaker 2: He for sure is with a name like that. Well, Chelsea,

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Speaker 2: I have a quick follow up for you. This is

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Speaker 2: from Rachel. She called in on our mic Berbiglia episode

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Speaker 2: and she was the one who was getting married and

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Speaker 2: her brother in law was not letting her sister's kids

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Speaker 2: come to the wedding. Hi, Catherine and Chelsea. I'm so

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Speaker 2: sorry about just now replying. I was waiting and hoping

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Speaker 2: that something would possibly change, but unfortunately that did not happen.

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Speaker 2: My niece and nephew will sadly not be a part

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Speaker 2: of my wedding. We're about forty days from the big day,

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Speaker 2: and after trying to reach out to my ex brother

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Speaker 2: in law again. We've just accepted the situation as it is.

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Speaker 2: It's been about eight months since he and I have spoken,

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Speaker 2: and things are so messy that he and my sister

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Speaker 2: still have to communicate through a co parenting app for

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Speaker 2: documentation and legal purposes. It's a parent that he's hurting

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Speaker 2: deep down, and I just hope he can get some

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Speaker 2: help and heal one day. On the bright side, my

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Speaker 2: sister seems happier than ever nowadays. She's thriving in her

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Speaker 2: career as an elementary school principle, and she's been able

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Speaker 2: to really focus on herself for the first time in

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Speaker 2: a while. So we've taken your advice and decided to

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Speaker 2: have a private quote pretend wedding in my parents' backyard

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Speaker 2: the week before our wedding. That way, my niece and

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Speaker 2: nephew can be our flower girl and ring bearer and

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Speaker 2: have all the attention and happiness directed toward them. Truthfully,

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Speaker 2: I just want them to be okay and not have

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Speaker 2: their childhood stripped of their innocence. Chelsea and Catherine, you

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Speaker 2: two are awesome. Thank you for keeping us all laughing

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Speaker 2: during some shitty situations. Love Rachel PS. I'll be sure

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Speaker 2: to send a picture of the three of us at

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Speaker 2: our backyard wedding. Stay tuned.

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Speaker 1: Oh that's cute, nice solution. That's good. Yeah, that's all

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Speaker 1: good vibes. Too bad about the brother, but whatever it is.

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Speaker 2: And sometimes we just have to let other people do

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Speaker 2: what they're going to do and make the best of

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Speaker 2: a situation. And I'm really happy that she's choosing to

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Speaker 2: do that. We've got an amazing guest today, Chelsea.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we do. Actually we just worked together sort of

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Speaker 1: but not really. We both did Kim Kardashian's Skim's campaign

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Speaker 1: bra campaign, uh huh, and we both I noticed, used

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Speaker 1: the same hair dresser. Oh, hair dresser, that's like an

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Speaker 1: art an outdated term. But anyway, hair stylist Vernado, the

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Speaker 1: sky Ronado, and her hair looked so badass during the

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Speaker 1: campaign or for the photos. When we got all the photos,

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Speaker 1: I was like, I thought my hair looked good. And

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Speaker 1: then I saw brook Shields's hair and I was like,

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Speaker 1: whoa wait, But then I realized she's Brookshields. Yes, that's

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Speaker 1: who our guess is today, Brooks Shields.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, she is known for her luscious hair.

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Speaker 1: Oh, she's known for her lusciousness.

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Speaker 3: Yes.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely. She is an actress, model, CEO and host of

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Speaker 1: the Now What podcast. Please welcome Brookshields. Hi, Brooke, Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: how are you?

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Speaker 3: I'm good?

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Speaker 1: How are you?

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Speaker 3: How are you feeling?

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Speaker 1: Oh? My god better? But I sell my throat still

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Speaker 1: has a pickle, a tickle pickle every I guess it

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Speaker 1: must be post nasal drip. But I'm lying in bed

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Speaker 1: and I go like this fifty thousand times. I'm glad

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Speaker 1: I'm single at this time in my life because I

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Speaker 1: don't know who would want to have sex with me. All.

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Speaker 3: I always like this, Chris does that, My husband Chris

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Speaker 3: does It drives me insane because it's neither nor It's

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Speaker 3: not a great cough and it's not really it's something else.

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Speaker 3: Commit to one or the other.

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Speaker 1: On the subject of your husband, Chris. Actually good place

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Speaker 1: to start for us because I knew Chris years ago,

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Speaker 1: which I think I told you about. I used to

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Speaker 1: wait tables at a place called Roasty on Montana and

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Speaker 1: Chris was a young writer who would come in and

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Speaker 1: he was a really nice guy, and I think he

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Speaker 1: had some friends and he would come in with other

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Speaker 1: writer guys. Yeah, And he would come in and That's

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Speaker 1: how I knew him. And then he went off and

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Speaker 1: married you, and then I never saw him again.

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Speaker 3: Well see where was the natural progression?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly Matt, who stopped speaking to me completely. Oh

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Speaker 1: he said to say hi, by the way, Oh tell

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Speaker 1: him I say hi back, please.

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Speaker 3: I will, I will, I will, I will.

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Speaker 1: But you guys have had such a long successful relationship, marriage, partnership.

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Speaker 1: I was wondering if you could speak to that and

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Speaker 1: tell us a little bit about how you feel about

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Speaker 1: your side of the street and your relationship, how you

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Speaker 1: feel like you've grown as a woman within your relationship

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Speaker 1: with having a family and everything, because these are things

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Speaker 1: I can't really relate to. So I'm so curious.

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Speaker 3: I'm his first marriage, or he likes to say I'm

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Speaker 3: her current marriage. But I had a marriage before, and

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Speaker 3: I think that that was probably a really great thing

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Speaker 3: because I learned really what I didn't want in a relationship.

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Speaker 3: Maybe I should have learned it without having to actually

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Speaker 3: go through the marriage, but I think that it's first

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Speaker 3: of all, it's a lot is attributable to him because

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Speaker 3: he's a very solid person. He doesn't get threatened easily

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Speaker 3: by any of any of that. I come with a lot.

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Speaker 3: You know, I come with a lot. It's it's hard,

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Speaker 3: not only my history, but because I'm recognized and because

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Speaker 3: the world feels like they own me. I think that,

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Speaker 3: you know, I come with a lot. So he's very,

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Speaker 3: very patient. And one of the things that I think

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Speaker 3: what he was willing to do is adapt to certain

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Speaker 3: things that I have asked him. For instance, when we

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Speaker 3: first met, it was always funny how he would make

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Speaker 3: fun of me. And he made fun of me like,

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Speaker 3: just I do really geeky, stupid things, and like I'm

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Speaker 3: that kid that always had the different color highlighters and

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Speaker 3: I'm organizing and I like underlining, and you know, I

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Speaker 3: just I do things that are kind of geeky. And

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Speaker 3: he used to make fun of me, or the fact

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Speaker 3: that I couldn't cook. And it was cute in the

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Speaker 3: beginning because it was it felt really personal, but it

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Speaker 3: was never mean. But they were little things. And as

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Speaker 3: you know, like ten years into the relationship, I said

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Speaker 3: to him, you know what, I'm growing as a person

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Speaker 3: and I don't want to self deprecate as much as

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Speaker 3: I used to in the same way and for the

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Speaker 3: same reasons. And you kind of knocking me down a

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Speaker 3: couple of pegs doesn't feel cute anymore to me.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: And I know it sounds like a bait and switch,

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Speaker 3: and I know I'm changing the terms here, but we

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Speaker 3: all have to adapt. And you've mentioned accountability when we

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Speaker 3: were talking one time, and I think that there is

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Speaker 3: accountability to You're not trying to change the other person,

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Speaker 3: but there are certain things that have to become a compromise,

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Speaker 3: and you have to be able to express what you

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Speaker 3: need and also be able to change in little ways

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Speaker 3: that do make a huge difference to your partner. And

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Speaker 3: that type of back and forth in exchange has been

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Speaker 3: just really healthy for us. Wow. Yeah, Like he'll if

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Speaker 3: I start a sentence with to him, I don't think

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Speaker 3: you realize how much I have on my plate, or

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Speaker 3: something like that, he cannot stand it because it underestimates

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Speaker 3: how much he really does understand about me and my life,

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Speaker 3: and so he'll get prickly with something like that. So

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Speaker 3: I have to keep in mind that that's not a kind,

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Speaker 3: that's not a rhetoric. That it just makes him bristle

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Speaker 3: and he in a second, he's got his eye up,

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Speaker 3: you know. So I think that the willingness to be

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Speaker 3: you know, people say, oh, friendship, and so first of all,

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Speaker 3: laughter is just key. I mean, he just makes me

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Speaker 3: laugh and that's been a big part of our relationship.

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Speaker 3: He is such a good father and he's in the time,

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Speaker 3: and that makes being a mother so much more palatable

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Speaker 3: in many ways for me, even though I've always wanted

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Speaker 3: to have kids. It's really not easy, and it's a

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Speaker 3: full time.

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Speaker 1: It's just forever, and then some it's forever, and then

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Speaker 1: some it's never over now.

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Speaker 3: And sometimes loving that much it's just to pain the ass.

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Speaker 3: You're just like, why am I doing this to myself?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can imagine.

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Speaker 3: It's the kind of worry that you're just like, God,

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Speaker 3: did I want to feel this horrible? It's weird. I mean,

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Speaker 3: I have that conversation with a really good friend of

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Speaker 3: mine and she's sort of belaboring the fact that she's

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Speaker 3: not having children and she never wanted them, And then

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Speaker 3: the clock got a certain to a certain place, and

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Speaker 3: then it became difficult, and then it became, oh, no,

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Speaker 3: what am I missing out on? And I said, you know,

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Speaker 3: don't lose sight of how you can get love from

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Speaker 3: her husband's grandchildren or how you know. And also to

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Speaker 3: keep in mind that she never was motivated to have

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Speaker 3: to do it wasn't a part of her the way

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Speaker 3: it was a part of me.

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Speaker 1: I say that in my stand up special, my new

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Speaker 1: standup special, I talk about like, if you're on the

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Speaker 1: fence at all about becoming a mother, then don't become

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Speaker 1: a mother. Like if you're questioning it, if you're not

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Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty percent in in it and saying

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Speaker 1: like this is what I want, I can't live without it,

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Speaker 1: then you shouldn't have a baby because it is that

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Speaker 1: kind of commitment. You can't be like, well, I guess

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Speaker 1: I'm getting older and I may as well have one.

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Speaker 1: You know, tell your friends to call me. I'll just

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Speaker 1: shake her out.

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Speaker 3: Well, it's also true that, you know, ay, I don't

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Speaker 3: I respect the way you talk about it, because not

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Speaker 3: everybody should want to have children. If they don't want to,

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Speaker 3: they shouldn't be shamed into it. And it's a you know,

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Speaker 3: it is also it's the kind of thing that there's

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Speaker 3: a lot to it, and you know it's not going

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Speaker 3: to fix a relationship. I hear couples talk about, you know,

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Speaker 3: their marriage is having trouble and they think a baby

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Speaker 3: is going to fix it.

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Speaker 1: Trust me, No, it's not that whatever your problems are

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Speaker 1: become magnified right when you have a baby, absolutely, and

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Speaker 1: then the blame starts and you're just like, this is

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Speaker 1: just becoming degraded. Now what Okay? Because I know you have,

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Speaker 1: You've spoken a lot and written a lot about your

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Speaker 1: relationship and the difficulties with your relationship with your own mother,

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Speaker 1: and so I think for your I'm so curious about

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Speaker 1: when you became a mother. I mean, you must have

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Speaker 1: had such an inner dialogue going on for fear of

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Speaker 1: replicating any of the stuff that was so painful or

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Speaker 1: hurtful to you.

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Speaker 3: The weirdest thing is I've done so much work on

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Speaker 3: myself in therapy for decades that I focused on the

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Speaker 3: things that I want to replicate rather than just the

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Speaker 3: things I didn't want to replicate because I had done

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Speaker 3: so much work. And so to compare myself in any

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Speaker 3: way in a negative way to a woman who really

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Speaker 3: was so broken and couldn't do the work on herself

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Speaker 3: or for herself, and you know it's not only just alcoholic.

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Speaker 3: I don't think she could ever get through step seven

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Speaker 3: or whatever the amends one is. But I think that

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Speaker 3: her humor was so important, her willingness to have fun

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Speaker 3: with me, her belief that I should always have someone

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Speaker 3: my own age around me, even within this industry. Her

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Speaker 3: very frank way of discussing anything. You know, she was ballsy,

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Speaker 3: and that really protected me. And so I try to

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Speaker 3: remember those things, and I try to be careful about

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Speaker 3: my drinking because I know that that is in my blood.

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Speaker 3: I'm surprised at how how much freedom emotionally I give

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Speaker 3: my kids. You know how, I never thought that talking

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Speaker 3: to them about sex and talking to I thought because

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Speaker 3: my mother never talked to me about anything. You just

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Speaker 3: were told, don't do it, you'll burn an hell. And

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Speaker 3: then I became sort of known for being a virgin.

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Speaker 3: We talk about everything together and I have no judgment

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Speaker 3: and I'm shocked at myself. Wow, you know, I mean,

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Speaker 3: we talk about it all, and I didn't think that

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Speaker 3: i'd be comfortable with it on that level.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I can see what you mean by that. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about my nieces and nephews and I'm like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I guess I would be the closest to non judgmental,

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Speaker 1: but I'm still they're like my little babies and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I can't even think about the things that they might

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Speaker 1: be getting up to right now.

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Speaker 3: It's crazy. It's just so crazy. And but I, you know,

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Speaker 3: I always say, it's just it's important that you have

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Speaker 3: an ally within these these times in your life because

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Speaker 3: you're gonna need it. And who better than your mom

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Speaker 3: in my case with her, because I'm always going to

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Speaker 3: be here for whatever it is. I'm like, but don't

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Speaker 3: be an idiot.

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Speaker 1: Do either of your girls remind you of your mom? Oh,

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Speaker 1: that's a great question. There are sometimes when my older

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Speaker 1: daughter will do something that is just so defiant, like

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Speaker 1: she's got balls, my daughter, And you think that I

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Speaker 1: would see my mom do that, or she would do

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Speaker 1: things just to be the first one dancing on the

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Speaker 1: table or something like that. So there are some kind

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Speaker 1: of ballsy and her sense of humor, My mom's sense

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Speaker 1: of humor does really sort of breathe through Rowan in particular. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's cool. That must be really like meaningful to see

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Speaker 1: it is because I'll say things that my mother would

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Speaker 1: have said that just can sound borderline, Like you know,

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Speaker 1: when a dog is outside the deli or something and

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Speaker 1: they're looking inside to see where their master is like

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Speaker 1: their masters, like they just can't they can only look

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Speaker 1: at theirs, her or whatever.

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Speaker 3: My mother used to walk by the dogs and go,

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Speaker 3: she's never coming back, which is a sick joke. It's

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Speaker 3: a sick joke. And and my mom was full of

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Speaker 3: sick jokes like that, and so and I would like

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Speaker 3: try them out on rowan and she was like, Mom,

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Speaker 3: that's so sick, but it's so fucking funny.

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Speaker 1: That's cute. Well, I think that's a really beautiful sentiment.

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Speaker 1: You know. Taking the best out of a relationship is

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Speaker 1: what we should all be doing, out of our difficult relationships,

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Speaker 1: out of our beautiful relationships, out of our best relationships,

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Speaker 1: but taking the best things about that and trying to

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Speaker 1: replicate those instead of focusing on the things that you

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Speaker 1: don't want to replicate, focusing on the things that you do.

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Speaker 3: The minute you start going down the road of the

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Speaker 3: things you don't want or the things that are bad,

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Speaker 3: you're now demonizing this person even more, especially if they're

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Speaker 3: not alive, right, and then you're not even giving yourself

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Speaker 3: a chance to sort of not live with rose colored

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Speaker 3: glasses about who they were, but to also sort of

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Speaker 3: say people are complex and I'm going to try to

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Speaker 3: shift this and start with a positive rather than, you know,

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Speaker 3: making myself terrified that i'm you know things. I'm my

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Speaker 3: own person too, you know, And I think that that's

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Speaker 3: important for people to remember, is that they are they

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Speaker 3: can be their own people.

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Speaker 1: Right exactly. Okay, So we are going to take a

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Speaker 1: quick break, and then we're going to come back and

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Speaker 1: get to some callers who need some life advice. Brook,

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Speaker 1: We're going to dish it out, okay, and give real

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Speaker 1: people advice on what to do in situations. Catherine, are

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Speaker 1: we ready to take a quick break. We're ready to

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Speaker 1: take a quick Yes, Oh my god, we're taking a

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Speaker 1: break and we'll be right back.

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Speaker 3: And we're back and we're back.

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Speaker 2: Well, you know what, I'm going to switch up the

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Speaker 2: order that I intended these in because we've already been

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Speaker 2: talking about dogs, and I see you have it's Pepper

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Speaker 2: right of Pepper there at it's.

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Speaker 3: Clearly bored because she just got up and left down.

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Speaker 1: Aren't dogs all bored all the time? Is not where

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Speaker 1: there's sleeping all of the time, and my dogs are

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Speaker 1: sleeping all of the time.

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Speaker 3: I feel like cats are more bored than dogs. I

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Speaker 3: think I don't know. Mine is so neurotic and insecure.

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Speaker 1: My dogs are like cats.

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Speaker 3: I have two cat dogs, wow, and I have a

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Speaker 3: neurotic separation anxiety dog Milcks. She's a Portuguese water dog.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I oh, those are nice dogs. What happens

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Speaker 1: when you have a dog in the city. Isn't that

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Speaker 1: just a fucking huge pain in the ass brook to

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Speaker 1: have to go outside into the city every time they

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Speaker 1: need to go out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it can be a bit can be, but

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Speaker 3: you know, you get your dog people in town and

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Speaker 3: we are able to leave the city in the summer

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Speaker 3: and have the best of both worlds. I mean, what's

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Speaker 3: hard is making sure your dog can tell you when

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Speaker 3: they have to go to the bathroom, which, like I

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Speaker 3: now know her look obviously when she's got to go,

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Speaker 3: but she's not clear, Like she doesn't go to the

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Speaker 3: door and like paw the door. So there's been many

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Speaker 3: a package left for eh.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we trained our little pog Mimsy using bells, so

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Speaker 2: she if she has to go out, she just goes

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Speaker 2: and rings the bell. I mean we take her out

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Speaker 2: at regular intervals anyway. But it's it's a life saver.

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Speaker 2: It's a carpet saver.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's too fucking late for us, Sat. Thanks

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Speaker 1: for the hot tip. Now, I mean, we can't train

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Speaker 1: these dogs to ring doorbells, sorry or bells?

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Speaker 2: Dog can't learn? Okay, Well, and I actually just got

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Speaker 2: a new puppy. But I actually picked this question for

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Speaker 2: you weeks ago. So this question comes from Lindsay. Lindsay says,

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Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea, should we get.

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Speaker 1: A new dog.

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Speaker 2: It's been over four years since our dog passed away.

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Speaker 2: She felt like a soulmate to me and we went

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Speaker 2: through so many life events together. I loved her in

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Speaker 2: a way that makes my heart burst even today. Her

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Speaker 2: passing was tragic and took years to get through. I

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Speaker 2: feel her presence all the time, and I miss her

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Speaker 2: every day. In the last year, I've been finding myself

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Speaker 2: wanting the physical presence of a dog again. However, I'm

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Speaker 2: terrified of not feeling that same love for a new dog.

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Speaker 2: Well also being terrified that I'll feel that strong feeling again,

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Speaker 2: which ultimately means I'll feel terrible loss again. We travel often,

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Speaker 2: have two senior cats and a six year old. Our

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Speaker 2: lives are busy, so I also wonder if maybe the

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Speaker 2: timing isn't right to add a dog to our family.

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Speaker 2: How will I know when the time is right? How

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Speaker 2: do I get past the fear, Lindsey.

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Speaker 1: Just get a fucking dog, Lindsay. I mean, this is

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Speaker 1: not a hard problem at all.

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Speaker 3: Go get a dog, and don't compare that dog all

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Speaker 3: the time to your deceased little love bug. Because it

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Speaker 3: took me a while too, and I was like, I'm

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Speaker 3: not gonna love this dog as much, and then I

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Speaker 3: was resistant, and poor dog didn't know the difference. She

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Speaker 3: didn't know my other dog. You know, I just think,

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Speaker 3: get a dog, and it's good for a little girl

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Speaker 3: to grow up with with a dog. I mean, yeah,

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Speaker 3: you know you're gonna end up doing all the work, obviously, but.

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Speaker 1: Also once you get a new dog, your love transfers.

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Speaker 1: You don't have any choice but to love and focus

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Speaker 1: on that dog that you're not gonna have be comparing

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Speaker 1: it to your other dog, even like I've had so

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Speaker 1: many dogs, and every time you just have a different

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Speaker 1: kind of love for them, you're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 1: this is my number one now. It actually helps you

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Speaker 1: get over the loss of the other one too.

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Speaker 3: Actually too, And if you have just one kid, I

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Speaker 3: mean think about if you had another daughter, would you

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Speaker 3: only love the six year old more than the baby?

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Speaker 3: I doubt it, Yeah, exactly, So you just it's like

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Speaker 3: growing another heart.

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Speaker 1: So buck up and just go get that dog.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I think so, Lindsey, get the dog.

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Speaker 2: Well that was easy.

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Speaker 1: That was probably the easiest question we've ever gotten.

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Speaker 3: So oh boy, Okay.

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Speaker 2: Well, our next question comes from Jesse. She's a caller.

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Speaker 2: She says, Dear Chelsea, my boyfriend and I recently went

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Speaker 2: on a camping trip with his whole family, mom, dad's sister,

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Speaker 2: and his nephew. My nine year old son and our

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Speaker 2: dog also joined us. Three days in, we had reservations

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Speaker 2: to go whitewater rafting with my boyfriend's sister, her son,

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Speaker 2: my son, and my boyfriend. Of the river was amazing.

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Speaker 2: We were all laughing, screaming, and having the best time.

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Speaker 2: Shortly into it, I decided to move back a seat

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Speaker 2: to sit next to my boyfriend. His sister is an

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Speaker 2: aggressive type A and promptly turns around to tell me

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Speaker 2: to move back to my original seat. I told her

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Speaker 2: it should be fine because I'm still peddling in the

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Speaker 2: same area I was before. She continued to tell me no,

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Speaker 2: I need to move back. While raising her voice, I

401
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Speaker 2: told her not to talk to me like that, and

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Speaker 2: all hell broke loose.

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Speaker 1: Uh oh rot row mmmmm.

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Speaker 2: She used this moment to stand up, point her finger

405
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Speaker 2: in my face while telling me all the things she's

406
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Speaker 2: always hated about me since day one. She concluded it

407
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Speaker 2: by saying, and I'm not the only one who feels

408
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Speaker 2: this way. I immediately broke down and cried the rest

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Speaker 2: of the two hour trip down the river. We packed

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Speaker 2: up our camp and drove back home. As soon as

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Speaker 2: we got back to the campsite, his mom and dad

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Speaker 2: sided with his sister and also doubled down on all

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Speaker 2: the resentments they have had toward me for the four

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Speaker 2: years we've been together. Oh, nothing they've said makes any

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Speaker 2: sense to me, and I honestly feel broken, sad, and confused.

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Speaker 2: I lost my dad to COVID in twenty twenty and

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Speaker 2: have considered his family my family. I can feel the

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Speaker 2: energy shift in my relationship with my boyfriend, and I

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Speaker 2: truly don't know where to go from here. Please help Jesse.

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Speaker 1: Oh, no, Jesse, Hi, Jesse, Hi, Jesse, Hey, this is

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Speaker 1: our special guest, Brookshields is here today.

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Speaker 4: Hi Brooke. HII, so nice to see y'all.

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Speaker 3: I mean, first of all, rap trips are not easy.

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Speaker 3: They're they're challenging, and they're they bring out a lot

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Speaker 3: in people.

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Speaker 4: I think that was that was one of the issues

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Speaker 4: for sure.

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Speaker 3: What did you how did your Have you spoken at

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Speaker 3: length to your boyfriend about all of this?

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Speaker 4: We actually both started seeing a therapist. We both see

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Speaker 4: the same therapists now, which is convenient. So on Sundays

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Speaker 4: basically that he does him at ten am and me

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Speaker 4: at eleven am, and we're both kind of talking it

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Speaker 4: out with our cool so, I mean, we're just we're

435
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,919
Speaker 4: trying to get through it. It's just it was a

436
00:22:04,960 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 4: lot and he's not really sure where to go from

437
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:08,480
Speaker 4: here either.

438
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: Like what is he saying? Like how does he feel?

439
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 1: I mean, what does he agree with his family? Did

440
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:15,200
Speaker 1: he know that they felt this way?

441
00:22:16,080 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 4: He he's a different person with them than he is

442
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 4: with me. He is very quiet around them, he's very

443
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 4: doesn't really speak as mine. But when he's with me,

444
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:28,280
Speaker 4: he's like, that was obviously crazy, you know, And basically

445
00:22:28,320 --> 00:22:31,160
Speaker 4: I don't want to surround myself with somebody that's really

446
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:36,840
Speaker 4: negative and that just brings that energy around, so he

447
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:38,400
Speaker 4: doesn't really agree with it at all.

448
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,080
Speaker 3: Well usually though, But there's also a part in a

449
00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 3: relationship where to a certain extent, your partner has to

450
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 3: be able to stick up for you in some way,

451
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 3: and it can be done in a loving way. But

452
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 3: you are his choice. His family. He didn't have a

453
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 3: choice about. You know, is he older or younger than

454
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:57,760
Speaker 3: the sister.

455
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,520
Speaker 4: He's younger. She's actually my age and he's three years

456
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:02,040
Speaker 4: younger than me.

457
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,280
Speaker 3: And what's her life situation.

458
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,520
Speaker 4: She is a single mom. She's always had that aggressive side,

459
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,760
Speaker 4: a little just abrasive. I think it's kind of like

460
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,399
Speaker 4: a guard she has up to protect herself, if that

461
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 4: makes sense, because she's kind of always been on her

462
00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 4: own and she does take care of her son by herself,

463
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:21,720
Speaker 4: so it's just her and him.

464
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 3: What's interesting about that is there I feel like there's

465
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:29,040
Speaker 3: some jealousy and projection. But also when anybody says, and

466
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,320
Speaker 3: I'm not the only one that feels that way, that's

467
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,840
Speaker 3: sort of a cop out because they're not owning their vitriol,

468
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 3: you know, they're sort of pawning it off on somebody.

469
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:39,719
Speaker 1: I hate that. I hate that when people use that

470
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:40,240
Speaker 1: in fights.

471
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:43,280
Speaker 4: Oh my God, it was so hurtful, that so immature

472
00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:46,360
Speaker 4: for me. Yeah, I immediately started crying and.

473
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,240
Speaker 3: So unfair by the way to the rest of his

474
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:52,840
Speaker 3: family also, because you know, sometimes that can be an

475
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 3: opening for the rest of his family talking to them

476
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,240
Speaker 3: and sort of saying, is this true. Do you have

477
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,399
Speaker 3: a problem with me that I don't know about? Because

478
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:02,959
Speaker 3: I love your brother, I love your son. Can we

479
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 3: talk about this? Just because to hear it like that

480
00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 3: and being such an outburst, there has to be something

481
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,439
Speaker 3: else either going on. I mean, I would save her

482
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:13,399
Speaker 3: to last, but I don't know.

483
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,320
Speaker 4: It's so funny you say that because we had this

484
00:24:15,359 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 4: conversation yesterday and I'm like, you know, I feel like

485
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 4: this was obviously a projection of something. But this might

486
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,040
Speaker 4: have something to do with her and his relationship.

487
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 3: Oh you know, maybe that's.

488
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:30,760
Speaker 4: What made her because there wasn't anything that led up

489
00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,879
Speaker 4: to that other than the changing seats on the raft

490
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,440
Speaker 4: that made her so angry.

491
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, is there another sister? Is it just the two

492
00:24:37,119 --> 00:24:37,360
Speaker 3: of them?

493
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:38,360
Speaker 4: It's just the two of them?

494
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you're invading her space and you know.

495
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, something that pupped up for me reading that, imagining

496
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:48,000
Speaker 2: myself like if I were the sister blowing up, but

497
00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,800
Speaker 2: you is potentially she had some anxiety about the whitewater

498
00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,720
Speaker 2: rafting and you moving it like brought out this other stuff.

499
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 2: But she's also clearly been harboring resentments. And I'm so

500
00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,960
Speaker 2: bummed out that this happened to you, but I'm also

501
00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,120
Speaker 2: sorry this happened in front of your son, like any adults.

502
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 4: Was one of the main issues for me was that

503
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,320
Speaker 4: happened in front of my son. I couldn't y knock

504
00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 4: her teeth out, you know, I couldn't. I couldn't scream

505
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,080
Speaker 4: at her. I just went in the other direction.

506
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:14,359
Speaker 1: But that's okay because you don't want to scream in

507
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,359
Speaker 1: yaw because that's a loss of control. Her screaming at

508
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:19,479
Speaker 1: you in the middle of a whitewater rafting trip is

509
00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:22,199
Speaker 1: like a complete loss of control. So if any like

510
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,280
Speaker 1: set's on her, Yeah, there's a million ways to have

511
00:25:25,320 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 1: a rational conversation when you have issues with somebody. Flipping

512
00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: out in the middle of a trip is a loss

513
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 1: of control that you need to apologize for. That's where

514
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: accountability comes in. You have to go, God, that was

515
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,720
Speaker 1: really inappropriate, especially in front of your kid.

516
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:40,919
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also if you don't have the guts to

517
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 3: tell me personally, you need an audience. I don't know

518
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 3: what that says about her, you know, I think she's

519
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:52,960
Speaker 3: she's obviously triggered and maybe sounds like she's jealous of

520
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,639
Speaker 3: whatever she thinks you have, including her brother.

521
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 1: Or angry just at her own circumstances. So what were

522
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:02,240
Speaker 1: the complaints that she had about you? What did she say?

523
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:02,680
Speaker 3: Oh?

524
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,480
Speaker 4: My god, they were so ridiculous one of the main ones,

525
00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,960
Speaker 4: because I didn't hear them from her. The only thing

526
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 4: on the trip that I heard was that I keep

527
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 4: bringing up their childhood and she doesn't like that.

528
00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 3: I don't know.

529
00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:16,720
Speaker 4: I like to get really deep when I talk to people.

530
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:19,680
Speaker 4: It's almost to a fault, Like I immediately start talking

531
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 4: about therapy, and you know, everybody needs therapy. Therapy is great.

532
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:25,840
Speaker 4: And I live in South Alabama. I live in a

533
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:30,080
Speaker 4: small southern town, but the people around here just aren't

534
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,399
Speaker 4: that way, you know, And whenever I talk to them

535
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,240
Speaker 4: about it, I can see they get uncomfortable. But I

536
00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:36,639
Speaker 4: almost take that as an opening to keep going and

537
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:43,120
Speaker 4: like helping them just be happier and live happier lives. Almost,

538
00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,960
Speaker 4: you know, we don't have to worry about this other shit.

539
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 4: We can be on a happy path if we want to.

540
00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 4: But I think maybe they did see me as a threat.

541
00:26:51,800 --> 00:26:54,320
Speaker 4: I don't know, maybe they saw me. That's what our

542
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 4: therapist is saying, that, like, I caused a disruption in

543
00:26:57,240 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 4: their family unit.

544
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:01,040
Speaker 2: Which is no fault of yours.

545
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:02,439
Speaker 3: It's not a fault.

546
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm just dating this guy.

547
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,800
Speaker 3: It's not a fault of yours at all. I mean,

548
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:10,399
Speaker 3: I also think holding a mirror up to people, you know,

549
00:27:10,440 --> 00:27:12,760
Speaker 3: they get really threatened if they don't have the guts

550
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 3: to do that kind of self exploration, you know, and

551
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 3: admit things that you know maybe aren't the best about them.

552
00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:22,480
Speaker 3: But this is not your fault. I mean, God, I

553
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 3: just I want him to come to your aide.

554
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,840
Speaker 4: But I don't want it to be my decision. You know,

555
00:27:28,960 --> 00:27:30,480
Speaker 4: we had this conversation yesterday.

556
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I was.

557
00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 4: What I would love for you to do is to

558
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 4: do this, you know, to go over there and stand

559
00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:38,560
Speaker 4: up for yourself and say this is who I am

560
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,159
Speaker 4: and we're not mad about any of the complaints. His

561
00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 4: mom is the one who came over and kind of

562
00:27:44,119 --> 00:27:47,000
Speaker 4: started using this opportunity to tell me about things that

563
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,400
Speaker 4: have made her angry over the years about me, and

564
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,560
Speaker 4: one of them was that I didn't help do dishes

565
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 4: on Thanksgiving two years ago. And on my side, I'm like,

566
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,840
Speaker 4: all you had to do was ask, and I'll do

567
00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 4: the dishes, you know. But also I don't really pick

568
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:03,440
Speaker 4: up after myself when I'm invited to Thanksgiving dinner. You know,

569
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,840
Speaker 4: it's like this was your house, you know, this is

570
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:08,639
Speaker 4: your stuff, and but all you have to do is ask.

571
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,040
Speaker 4: But it was really petty stuff like that, like I

572
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:14,680
Speaker 4: didn't help pick up dishes at Thanksgiving, I didn't help

573
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,840
Speaker 4: bring bags over to the campsite. I didn't help them

574
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:20,640
Speaker 4: unload the stuff from their from their car to their tent.

575
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,199
Speaker 4: Just things like that, and how they don't think I

576
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 4: treat their son right.

577
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:28,720
Speaker 1: But well, listen, all of these examples you are giving

578
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,520
Speaker 1: are reasonable things for someone. Listen, when I go to

579
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:33,439
Speaker 1: somebody's house, I don't know how to do dishes, but

580
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 1: I always clean up after myself, whether it's someone else's

581
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,440
Speaker 1: house or not. That's just kind of like a nice

582
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:41,720
Speaker 1: thing to do. So yeah, the things that they're saying, whatever,

583
00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter whether they're right or you're wrong. It's

584
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: just the matter of how you're having the conversation, right,

585
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: if they have resentments and like they shouldn't have to

586
00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,840
Speaker 1: ask you to come and help with the dishes as

587
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,719
Speaker 1: a guest, you should try and help. And then they

588
00:28:53,720 --> 00:28:55,960
Speaker 1: either say no or thank you. You know what I mean,

589
00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 1: No you sit down or thank you. You know, there's

590
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,080
Speaker 1: there's a certain like measure of manners that you should

591
00:29:01,080 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 1: impart and when, especially when you're at your boyfriend's parents' house,

592
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,520
Speaker 1: just out of decency. Right, So all of these things,

593
00:29:07,360 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: it's like, Okay, that's a good point, that's a bad point.

594
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. It's just a matter of the tenor

595
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 1: of the conversation. Because they've clearly painted you as this

596
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,880
Speaker 1: person that doesn't help out wherever you go camping over

597
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,920
Speaker 1: to Thanksgiving. They think you're selfish and that I would

598
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 1: imagine that you don't treat your boyfriend with respect in

599
00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:26,880
Speaker 1: their eyes, that's what they're thinking, right.

600
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 3: It's funny. The dishes thing is a funny thing because

601
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 3: my daughter just recently said to me, she said, Mom,

602
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:35,320
Speaker 3: I'm amazed at how badly behaved a lot of young

603
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,880
Speaker 3: people are. She said, whenever we're at dinner at someone

604
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,160
Speaker 3: else's house. She was like, mom my, sister and I

605
00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:44,000
Speaker 3: are always the first up to go help with the dishes.

606
00:29:44,240 --> 00:29:46,840
Speaker 3: And it's either oh my god, thank you so much

607
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:49,360
Speaker 3: or no, no, no, Annie, sit down, like you know,

608
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,640
Speaker 3: but it's that little gesture. There are little things that

609
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,600
Speaker 3: go a long way, but these things feel that there's

610
00:29:56,640 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 3: something deeper. Yes, that they're using these petty things to say, Oh,

611
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:03,200
Speaker 3: she's a princess, she doesn't want to help with anything.

612
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 3: You're obviously not that, but it feels like there's something deeper.

613
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,719
Speaker 3: You know, you're taking her son away? Are you his

614
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 3: first real relationship? You know, you're the other woman with

615
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:18,280
Speaker 3: regards to the sister. Whenever these things happen, it's always

616
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 3: about that person. The person doling out.

617
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:24,840
Speaker 4: The person doing that is the person with the issue

618
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 4: for sure.

619
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's hard for you to say, but it's

620
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,160
Speaker 1: also important to say to take accountability when it's when

621
00:30:31,200 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 1: you don't even feel like you've done anything wrong. You

622
00:30:33,160 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 1: know what I mean. To be a bigger person in

623
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,400
Speaker 1: this larger conversation that you're having about your relationship, I

624
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,200
Speaker 1: think it's really important for you to consider everything that

625
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,840
Speaker 1: they're saying and whether or not you think you're wrong

626
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,800
Speaker 1: or right, doesn't matter, right, It's just about the actual

627
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: tenor of the conversation. Because if you come back at

628
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:52,080
Speaker 1: them calmly in a month or so or whatever and say, hey, listen,

629
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: I've thought a lot about everything you guys said, and

630
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 1: I want to take some accountability and responsibility for my

631
00:30:57,520 --> 00:31:00,200
Speaker 1: end of the thing, and I will definitely contribute more

632
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 1: and this and that. But I also you also need

633
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 1: something in return for that too. So when you're going

634
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: to therapy with you and your boyfriend, like when you

635
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 1: say your boyfriend doesn't know how to move on from this,

636
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: you've been together for four years, are you contemplating splitting

637
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:13,720
Speaker 1: up over this?

638
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,120
Speaker 4: It was actually it was a thought just because I

639
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 4: felt like I was coming between him and his family.

640
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:21,880
Speaker 1: But isn't that a defensive thought though? Is that a

641
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,880
Speaker 1: real thought or a defensive Yeah, it.

642
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 4: Was totally an insecurity. It was fully based off of

643
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,959
Speaker 4: he's going to choose them, so I better hurry up

644
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,680
Speaker 4: and in this uh huh right, So I was just

645
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 4: this whole thing just made me really uncomfortable, Like the

646
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 4: face to face confrontation kind of scared me. And I'm like, well,

647
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,280
Speaker 4: my son is traumatized, and I've tried to have open

648
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:49,719
Speaker 4: conversations with him just just so he's not traumatized. Do

649
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:51,560
Speaker 4: you think sitting down and having a face to face

650
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 4: conversation with his parents would be beneficial.

651
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,960
Speaker 1: I think that you need to. I think yes, I

652
00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,760
Speaker 1: think you're on the defense and you have every I

653
00:31:57,840 --> 00:31:59,959
Speaker 1: understand why, but I think you need to, like love

654
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: or your defenses and come from a place of understanding

655
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: and love because they're looking at you as a threat

656
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,800
Speaker 1: and a loss. So like you have to be bigger

657
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,480
Speaker 1: than that, and you have to go Okay, these people

658
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 1: are scared that they're going to lose their son. They

659
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 1: found a bunch of things they don't like about me.

660
00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,160
Speaker 1: Let me make this easier for everybody, you know what

661
00:32:19,200 --> 00:32:21,400
Speaker 1: I mean, And you be the bigger person who cares

662
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 1: how they behaved, who cares how they acted. You can

663
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,440
Speaker 1: actually make like a blueprint for them moving forward on

664
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: how you're all going to communicate together. So it is

665
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: a big opportunity for you to be a bigger person

666
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 1: and to actually come from your heart, not being defensive,

667
00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:37,360
Speaker 1: not trying to get rid of him before he gets

668
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,479
Speaker 1: rid of you, or get rid of him before his

669
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:43,320
Speaker 1: family gets rid of you, because that's not really anything,

670
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:45,360
Speaker 1: you know, then you might just be losing somebody that's

671
00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:47,280
Speaker 1: supposed to be in your life. If you put the

672
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: effort forth, coming from a place of love and then

673
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, then you have no regrets and

674
00:32:53,200 --> 00:32:55,440
Speaker 1: you have nothing to be ashamed about, nothing at all

675
00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:56,360
Speaker 1: to be ashamed about.

676
00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 3: And the most disarming thing is coming at people with love,

677
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 3: because I always say to my daughter's tug of war

678
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 3: only works if both people are pulling. And it's so

679
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:08,480
Speaker 3: disarming to sort of say, all right, I'm going to

680
00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 3: own my part in this. But when these conversations, I've

681
00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 3: learned not to say you made me feel like this,

682
00:33:16,960 --> 00:33:20,960
Speaker 3: you did this. I say, when you said that, all

683
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:24,360
Speaker 3: of this insecurity came up in me, and I'm so

684
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:28,120
Speaker 3: sorry if I haven't. I didn't know that was the

685
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 3: proper I didn't know that's what you wanted. And I'll

686
00:33:30,840 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 3: always you know. And it's once you give them the

687
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 3: littlest thing, like you know, I'd love to help you

688
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 3: in the kitchen, didn't I didn't think Whatever the reason is,

689
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:44,000
Speaker 3: then you've lowered the frenetic, like you said, the tenor

690
00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 3: of the whole communication and then you can say, you know,

691
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,120
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to steal your son. I love this,

692
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 3: you know, family, or whatever you have to say. But

693
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 3: I do think that once you come at it from

694
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 3: a place like Chelsea said, of love, nobody can fight

695
00:33:59,600 --> 00:34:03,520
Speaker 3: against that. There's no nothing to fight against. Now, they

696
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:07,440
Speaker 3: may not be the kind of arrived people emotionally that

697
00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:09,160
Speaker 3: will be able to handle it. You kind of have

698
00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:11,520
Speaker 3: to be ready for that too, you know. And then

699
00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:13,919
Speaker 3: you're like, look, I'm not I'm not trying to fight

700
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 3: with you. I'm trying to understand because I felt hurt

701
00:34:19,080 --> 00:34:21,920
Speaker 3: and I felt embarrassed in front of my son, and

702
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 3: this is an important moment. You know, we were on

703
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 3: a vacation. That's a very intimate thing, and I don't

704
00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,560
Speaker 3: want that to be the memory from this. Can we

705
00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,520
Speaker 3: move through this and can we have an open conversation

706
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 3: so that we can all own this and own our

707
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:39,439
Speaker 3: truth without hurting each other.

708
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's such a good perspective. Yeah.

709
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's the harder thing to do. It's the high road,

710
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:50,000
Speaker 3: you know. Oh yeah, but it's so admirable and it's

711
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:54,600
Speaker 3: so freeing because like Chelsea said, then there's zero regret.

712
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 1: And also there's no defensive like you know, if she's defensive,

713
00:34:57,640 --> 00:35:00,520
Speaker 1: if the sister's defensive, if the mother's defensive, you don't

714
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,400
Speaker 1: match that defensiveness. The only way to diffuse that is

715
00:35:03,400 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 1: to have no reaction to that, right, So if someone's

716
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,160
Speaker 1: screaming at you and you're not screaming back at them

717
00:35:08,239 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 1: and you're just looking at them, then where do they go?

718
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,680
Speaker 1: But that situation just diffuses. It has to because you

719
00:35:14,719 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 1: can't yell alone. So like that's where I would say

720
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:20,239
Speaker 1: to a you know, to go to mentally when you

721
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: have this conversation, and should be in person, and it

722
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,040
Speaker 1: should be with the whole family because they owe you

723
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:26,480
Speaker 1: that for putting you in that situation in the first place,

724
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:27,439
Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

725
00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:30,919
Speaker 3: And also I think that he obviously these are two

726
00:35:31,840 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 3: very strong women in his life. Was that his dad there?

727
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 4: Mom and dad weren't on the raft with us. They

728
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 4: were back at the campsite. Oh okay, but yeah he

729
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:41,640
Speaker 4: was there so to speek.

730
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,879
Speaker 3: I wonder if that's the dynamic that has been set

731
00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,239
Speaker 3: since he was a little boy. You know, you've got

732
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 3: these two demonstrative women, then he always is silenced or

733
00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 3: his masculinity is not you know important, or he watches

734
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 3: how his mother treats his dead or whatever that is, Like,

735
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 3: that's the stuff that that's coming up and hopefully will

736
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 3: be dealt with in therapy. But what's really hard to

737
00:36:04,840 --> 00:36:07,919
Speaker 3: do is to put him also in a position like saying,

738
00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 3: why didn't you stick up for me? That's also a

739
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,880
Speaker 3: defensive you know, that's also very difficult because if he

740
00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:16,120
Speaker 3: doesn't know how to stick up for himself and probably

741
00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:19,440
Speaker 3: never did as a child or with these women, it

742
00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:21,719
Speaker 3: doesn't matter how much he loves you, it's gonna he

743
00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 3: doesn't have the tools yet. He hasn't learned how to

744
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,719
Speaker 3: stick up for yourself, vote with love.

745
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:30,279
Speaker 1: And remember if that's his blueprint for women, like you're

746
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: also that woman in his life, another strong willed, powerful woman,

747
00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 1: So remember that when you're dealing with him, because you

748
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:40,960
Speaker 1: want to have your own dynamic with him, so that

749
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:44,840
Speaker 1: there's also value in dissecting that and therapy with alone

750
00:36:44,880 --> 00:36:45,680
Speaker 1: and with each other.

751
00:36:46,080 --> 00:36:49,479
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, he's never really uncovered any truths about

752
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,879
Speaker 4: his past until recently. So while I'm like repairing from

753
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:56,160
Speaker 4: what happened on the camping trip, he's repairing from all

754
00:36:56,320 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 4: all these years of trauma and from his childhood unlearning

755
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:02,839
Speaker 4: things that he learned as a kid.

756
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:03,279
Speaker 1: Yeah.

757
00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:06,839
Speaker 3: Wow, that kind of patience is huge. And you know,

758
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:11,520
Speaker 3: I've found in my relationships that I'm always better off

759
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 3: if I somehow give them the space to have whatever

760
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 3: and without being the one that says you have to

761
00:37:20,800 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 3: do this and I want this, and because you can

762
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:25,160
Speaker 3: do all that. By the way, the fact that he's

763
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 3: going to therapy with you is huge.

764
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: Huge, Yeah, it is huge.

765
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:34,440
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, And I think that that's where you guys

766
00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:37,359
Speaker 3: can heal, you know, I think in that together and

767
00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:40,040
Speaker 3: that's just yours, that's nothing that's not his family.

768
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 1: Yeah.

769
00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:45,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, we did make the decision this year. I was

770
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,279
Speaker 4: going to ask you, So, my birthday is the day

771
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,720
Speaker 4: after Christmas. His birthday is on the thirtieth, and every

772
00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 4: year on Christmas Eve, we go to his uncle's house

773
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,000
Speaker 4: for this big Christmas Eve thing. His sister and his

774
00:37:57,040 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 4: nephew go and his mom and dad and just kind

775
00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 4: of an intimates Eve thing. We made the decision not

776
00:38:02,239 --> 00:38:05,279
Speaker 4: to go just because his sister's going to be there.

777
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:08,720
Speaker 4: It was hard, but we made the decision. So I

778
00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 4: was listening to him one day we were on our

779
00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 4: lunch break and he got emotional talking about not going

780
00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 4: to Christmas Eve. So I'm like, what, I'm going to

781
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 4: throw a surprise party for him. I've got to do

782
00:38:17,600 --> 00:38:20,720
Speaker 4: something for him. I've got to repair this. He's upset.

783
00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:24,319
Speaker 4: So I texted his mom and I said, I'd love

784
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,880
Speaker 4: to throw a surprise party on the thirtieth, on his birthday.

785
00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:29,719
Speaker 4: I'd love for you guys to be there, if you

786
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,000
Speaker 4: could bring his nephew, and if you could reach out

787
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,200
Speaker 4: to his uncles as well to come, I.

788
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 1: Would love that.

789
00:38:36,360 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 4: And they said, what is Mom's response was this puts

790
00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:43,799
Speaker 4: us in an uncomfortable position because they wouldn't want to

791
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:47,240
Speaker 4: bring the sun without his mom. They're basically his sister,

792
00:38:48,200 --> 00:38:51,920
Speaker 4: and I understand that for sure, But now I'm like, well,

793
00:38:52,880 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 4: since I was shot down, that was kind of embarrassing

794
00:38:55,719 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 4: because I've put myself out there.

795
00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 1: But you're being defensive again. You're being defensive, yeah, but as.

796
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,120
Speaker 3: You put yourself out there in a way that's very hard,

797
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 3: because what that is that's almost like you're doubling down

798
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,319
Speaker 3: yes by going, oh, yeah, well I'm going to throw

799
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,959
Speaker 3: this party for him, that's not.

800
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: And then but putting them in a position where they're

801
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: not going to invite their own daughter. So that's not

802
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:18,839
Speaker 1: correct what you did. Okay, I'm going to be very

803
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 1: honest with you, obviously because I can't be anything else.

804
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,720
Speaker 1: But I think you were really coming from a place

805
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 1: where you have to adjust a little bit now too.

806
00:39:26,400 --> 00:39:28,920
Speaker 1: These people definitely have adjustments to make, but you need

807
00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 1: to adjust because you're putting them in a position where

808
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,279
Speaker 1: they have to leave out their daughter for their son's

809
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,719
Speaker 1: birth birthday party. Think about that. That's not cool for

810
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:38,200
Speaker 1: you to do to a family, and that is a

811
00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: disruption to a family. And if the most generous thing

812
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:43,919
Speaker 1: you can do is send his mother a text back

813
00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 1: and say, you know what, Okay, I understand that this

814
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,439
Speaker 1: puts you in a difficult position. He's very upset about

815
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:53,319
Speaker 1: missing Christmas Eve. Either agree to go with him and

816
00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:56,839
Speaker 1: go together and barry the hatchet and send everyone an

817
00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,480
Speaker 1: email beforehand saying this is such an important holiday for

818
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 1: your boyfriend and I want to be there for him,

819
00:40:02,880 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: and I just want to be there in support and

820
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:06,880
Speaker 1: love and I don't want to have any issues or

821
00:40:06,920 --> 00:40:09,439
Speaker 1: any problems. However, you want to say it in the

822
00:40:09,480 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 1: most gracious way you can find Unearthed all of the

823
00:40:13,440 --> 00:40:16,879
Speaker 1: therapy that you have gleaned and use it and give

824
00:40:16,880 --> 00:40:19,520
Speaker 1: it out right now, and then go to this Christmas

825
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,400
Speaker 1: Eve dinner if you can, if not, let him go

826
00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:23,920
Speaker 1: without you, you know, let him be with his family.

827
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,520
Speaker 1: Don't take people's families from them. Oh yeah, you know.

828
00:40:26,600 --> 00:40:28,920
Speaker 4: No, I definitely don't want I don't want it to

829
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:30,240
Speaker 4: be my decision at all.

830
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 1: Right, but just offer it up, I say offered.

831
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 3: I mean I was going to say that early. I

832
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,479
Speaker 3: was just trying to ease and do it. But I

833
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:41,120
Speaker 3: think the best thing you can do for him and

834
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 3: for yourself is to go to No. I don't believe

835
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:49,279
Speaker 3: they've uninvited you. I'm assuming not, but to go and

836
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:53,760
Speaker 3: kill him with kindness and whatever it is. I'm sorry

837
00:40:53,800 --> 00:40:56,200
Speaker 3: I didn't help you in the kitchen. I know holidays

838
00:40:56,200 --> 00:40:59,560
Speaker 3: are really stressful. I wasn't thinking properly jump in the

839
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 3: kitchen and be like I'm cleaning all the dishes or

840
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 3: without making it a thing, but saying like, I apologize,

841
00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 3: What can I do to help?

842
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't even have to bring up the dishes.

843
00:41:08,680 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 1: Just go there this time and help and do all

844
00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:13,960
Speaker 1: the things that they accused you of. Just go in there.

845
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,120
Speaker 1: You don't have to make it a thing, have a conversation,

846
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:19,239
Speaker 1: just a show by example that you heard what they said,

847
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,279
Speaker 1: regardless of how they came to you, and regardless of

848
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 1: the altercation that happened on the boat. You be the

849
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 1: bigger person. This is a huge opportunity for you to

850
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,399
Speaker 1: go in. You were going to leave that Christmas Eve

851
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:32,839
Speaker 1: dinner feeling fucking victorious. Yeah, God, I hope so you are.

852
00:41:33,080 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 1: I promise you you are. You're going to report back

853
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:35,919
Speaker 1: to us right after.

854
00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 3: Also, and that's the most loving thing that you can

855
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,320
Speaker 3: do for yourself and for your boyfriend.

856
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:43,640
Speaker 1: And you need to apologize to his mother for putting

857
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 1: them in that situation. Also, just say, you know what,

858
00:41:46,160 --> 00:41:49,719
Speaker 1: I wasn't thinking. You're right. I wasn't thinking that wasn't right.

859
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm very sorry for doing that, and I apologize, you

860
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:53,680
Speaker 1: know what I mean.

861
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:56,359
Speaker 3: And then leave it at that. Just then that's it.

862
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 1: You put that in a text back to her, you know,

863
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,080
Speaker 1: which she said, you're putting us in an uncomfortable situation.

864
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:03,200
Speaker 1: Was that a text from her?

865
00:42:03,800 --> 00:42:05,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, that was a text from his mom.

866
00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you should apologize to her, say you're right,

867
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,560
Speaker 1: I didn't see it that way, I get it now,

868
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,160
Speaker 1: and then whether you want to text them about showing

869
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,640
Speaker 1: up for Christmas or talk to your boyfriend and how

870
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,759
Speaker 1: he wants to handle it, but let him know that

871
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: you're ready to go and play ball and have a

872
00:42:20,520 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 1: great time and there are no hard feelings and you

873
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:24,720
Speaker 1: can deal with the other stuff later.

874
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:27,480
Speaker 4: Do you think that I should have a conversation with

875
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:31,600
Speaker 4: his sister and I just don't see no confrontation kind

876
00:42:31,600 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 4: of Well.

877
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:33,880
Speaker 1: You can send her a text or an email and

878
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: just say, hey, listen, Christmas Eve is coming up. This

879
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:39,360
Speaker 1: is what's your boyfriend's name, Taylor, Taylor. I know we

880
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,400
Speaker 1: have some stuff, unfinished business or whatever however you want

881
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,120
Speaker 1: to frame it, but be like, this is the holiday season.

882
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 1: I just want Taylor to be with his family and

883
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,640
Speaker 1: be happy. I know this is meaningful to him. I'm

884
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:52,799
Speaker 1: going to do my best to show up for you

885
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:54,719
Speaker 1: guys in the ways that you don't think I have

886
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: or whatever. Just you know what I mean. Vacline the

887
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,839
Speaker 1: whole situation and then go in and demonstrate the fact

888
00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,720
Speaker 1: that you heard what they said and you're still in therapy.

889
00:43:04,800 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 1: You guys have all the time in the world to

890
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,480
Speaker 1: figure out the nuances and the intricacies of how you

891
00:43:09,520 --> 00:43:12,359
Speaker 1: want to handle this situation. But in the meantime, go

892
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 1: and show yourself and make the situation lovely. It's a

893
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,359
Speaker 1: good challenge for yourself. You don't have to get into

894
00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: it with anybody. If anyone says anything untoured towards you,

895
00:43:22,239 --> 00:43:24,040
Speaker 1: just let it roll over, you know, let it roll

896
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,239
Speaker 1: off your back. Use it as an exercise.

897
00:43:26,800 --> 00:43:29,879
Speaker 3: And also you've said more than one time, I don't

898
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 3: want it to be my decision. Well, it has to

899
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,920
Speaker 3: be your decision, but it has to be your decision

900
00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,080
Speaker 3: under the right auspices, you know, with the right heart,

901
00:43:38,520 --> 00:43:41,319
Speaker 3: because he's in trauma with them all, with the whole

902
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:45,840
Speaker 3: process and dealing with issues that he's had with his

903
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 3: parents or with his mom and his sister. You know,

904
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,000
Speaker 3: this is not the first time. I'm sure something they

905
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 3: have put him in some this position before. He's looking

906
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,320
Speaker 3: to you, also without saying it, to make a decision,

907
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:01,319
Speaker 3: but do it because of love, and they won't have

908
00:44:01,360 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 3: anything to fight against. But you know, Chelsea's right, like

909
00:44:04,800 --> 00:44:07,600
Speaker 3: the actions are going to speak louder than any text

910
00:44:07,600 --> 00:44:08,200
Speaker 3: any words.

911
00:44:08,320 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I want you to think about it in

912
00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 1: this way when you go in there. This relationship may

913
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:15,080
Speaker 1: work and there or this relationship may not work. But

914
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,239
Speaker 1: either way, they were always going to look back at

915
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,319
Speaker 1: the Christmas Eve that their son missed and blame the

916
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: girl that was beat the cause of that. Yeah, So

917
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:23,520
Speaker 1: don't be that girl person, Go be the girl that

918
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: actually looked over all of it and said, fuck it,

919
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,520
Speaker 1: we're coming anyway. I'm a bigger person than this. I'm

920
00:44:28,560 --> 00:44:30,759
Speaker 1: not going to let you bring me down. I'm going

921
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 1: to be here to support my boyfriend, and I'm going

922
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:34,480
Speaker 1: to be here and show you what a loving family

923
00:44:34,520 --> 00:44:37,360
Speaker 1: member I can be, just for now, just so that

924
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:39,480
Speaker 1: that's not the memory that any of you have that

925
00:44:39,520 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 1: he missed at Christmas Eve with his family because of

926
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:43,399
Speaker 1: some woman, do you know what I mean?

927
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,279
Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, and your son too. It's really good for

928
00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:50,640
Speaker 3: your son to see how you've processed this information and

929
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,799
Speaker 3: see how you show up. Oh yeah, see how you

930
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:57,080
Speaker 3: show up for yourself and the graciousness of that is

931
00:44:57,800 --> 00:44:59,000
Speaker 3: such a good trait.

932
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:00,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my god.

933
00:45:00,480 --> 00:45:01,080
Speaker 3: That Yeah.

934
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 4: I really need to stop being defensive.

935
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 1: Yes, stop being defensive, and think of these two words,

936
00:45:06,640 --> 00:45:10,560
Speaker 1: grace and dignity. Grace and dignity whenever I am dealing

937
00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: with somebody that I want to fucking kill. I think

938
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:16,319
Speaker 1: about grace and dignity and then I just exude that

939
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:17,239
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

940
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,960
Speaker 4: And yeah, and putting myself in an uncomfortable position is

941
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,400
Speaker 4: only going to be beneficial for me. You know, nothing

942
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:24,360
Speaker 4: bad can come from that.

943
00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:26,400
Speaker 3: They also, you know that they've put you in a

944
00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:29,480
Speaker 3: position to It's like they're trying to win, right, and

945
00:45:29,560 --> 00:45:33,440
Speaker 3: so if you cow away or then pull him away,

946
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,960
Speaker 3: they they've won. You know, they've won, and they're right

947
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:38,400
Speaker 3: in everything they've said. But if you show them in

948
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 3: the merit that they're actually not right and this is

949
00:45:41,520 --> 00:45:45,240
Speaker 3: how and this is why, then there's nothing else. Either

950
00:45:45,520 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 3: there's something much much deeper, and it'll come out or

951
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:51,560
Speaker 3: it won't come out. But the important thing is is

952
00:45:51,600 --> 00:45:55,359
Speaker 3: that you are taking this and saying, wow, I had

953
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 3: no idea. Whether you agree with it or not is

954
00:45:58,200 --> 00:46:00,920
Speaker 3: not the point. Yeah, these little like.

955
00:46:00,920 --> 00:46:04,600
Speaker 4: I hurt them in some way and just that alone.

956
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:06,799
Speaker 3: Did they ever say that word you hurt me?

957
00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:07,480
Speaker 1: No?

958
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,360
Speaker 4: But you know, there were a lot of different things

959
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 4: that happened that were said. I don't really remember all

960
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,560
Speaker 4: of them. I just immediately put up a guard, immediately

961
00:46:16,600 --> 00:46:19,319
Speaker 4: got defensive, like whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa Like y'all

962
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:21,799
Speaker 4: have never said this to me. And that's kind of

963
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,080
Speaker 4: what I was focusing on, was the fact that they've

964
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,200
Speaker 4: never said that to me, but they're saying it now,

965
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,240
Speaker 4: so now I address it, you know, yes.

966
00:46:29,239 --> 00:46:31,280
Speaker 3: And also you know this is the way you've really

967
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:34,800
Speaker 3: always felt about me. I'm sorry, I'm not trying to

968
00:46:34,840 --> 00:46:38,319
Speaker 3: do anything to you, and that it was never my intention, And.

969
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: Try not to play like a victim role at all.

970
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:44,880
Speaker 1: Just try not to be emotional about it. I understand

971
00:46:44,920 --> 00:46:46,680
Speaker 1: you have your emotions and you have your right to them,

972
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,319
Speaker 1: but like, just try to be even and just think

973
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:51,960
Speaker 1: about grace and dignity throughout the whole thing. Even if

974
00:46:51,960 --> 00:46:56,280
Speaker 1: someone says something untowared or unkind or a little you know, slight,

975
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: you can just look the other way and just not engage,

976
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:02,880
Speaker 1: not react. It's not your place. You're just here to

977
00:47:02,880 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 1: support your boyfriend. That's it. Yeah.

978
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 4: Don't make it about me, right, yeah.

979
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:09,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, And don't make it a self fulfilling prophecy that

980
00:47:09,560 --> 00:47:11,920
Speaker 2: you're the gal coming in to keep him from his family.

981
00:47:12,040 --> 00:47:14,680
Speaker 4: I'm being the bigger person. Yeah, yeah, this is what

982
00:47:15,000 --> 00:47:16,080
Speaker 4: this is yeah.

983
00:47:16,120 --> 00:47:19,239
Speaker 3: And yeah, don't expect a like a metal or anything either,

984
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:23,280
Speaker 3: Like that's they'd be like, but I've done the altruistic thing,

985
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 3: you know, and it's like, yeah, that's not the way

986
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:27,920
Speaker 3: it works. And it's like it's almost like you have

987
00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:30,399
Speaker 3: to do a random act of kindness, you know.

988
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 2: A very targeted, random active kindness.

989
00:47:32,920 --> 00:47:33,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, to snap out of it.

990
00:47:34,080 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 3: My mom used to pay the toll of the car

991
00:47:36,280 --> 00:47:39,400
Speaker 3: behind us and then just keep driving and she and

992
00:47:39,440 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 3: I'd say, oh, well, you know, they don't know it

993
00:47:40,920 --> 00:47:42,319
Speaker 3: to you, and she goes, that's why it's a random

994
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,400
Speaker 3: active kindness. You don't pull over on the side of

995
00:47:44,400 --> 00:47:47,400
Speaker 3: the road and point to yourself. I paid me. You

996
00:47:47,440 --> 00:47:52,480
Speaker 3: know you're welcome. Now you do it without getting anything.

997
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,040
Speaker 1: Back, right, Yeah?

998
00:47:54,239 --> 00:47:58,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, well Jesse, let us know how it goes, okay,

999
00:47:59,040 --> 00:48:00,640
Speaker 2: and I will very good luck.

1000
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:03,319
Speaker 3: Thank you. I think there's son. It's the best thing

1001
00:48:03,400 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 3: to do for.

1002
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 4: Your son, to conflict of a resolution. We've been talking

1003
00:48:07,440 --> 00:48:09,759
Speaker 4: a lot about about that, like how kids will see

1004
00:48:09,840 --> 00:48:13,840
Speaker 4: arguments and they don't see them resolved. So but I

1005
00:48:13,880 --> 00:48:16,880
Speaker 4: can't thank y'all enough. This was like huge for me,

1006
00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,680
Speaker 4: and I'm just I'm really, really, really happy that I

1007
00:48:20,719 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 4: got to talk to all all.

1008
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:24,600
Speaker 1: Right, well, good luck with everything, okay, thank you, and

1009
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: keep us posting Essie.

1010
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:30,160
Speaker 3: Okay, thank you, I will all right, bye, bye bye, Brooke.

1011
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:31,040
Speaker 2: You're so good at this.

1012
00:48:31,719 --> 00:48:34,640
Speaker 3: Oh god, I've never done anything like this before in

1013
00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:36,400
Speaker 3: my life. I'm sweating you, guys.

1014
00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,920
Speaker 1: She took up our whole fucking episode. I was like,

1015
00:48:39,000 --> 00:48:41,560
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is a serious situation, because, you

1016
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 1: know what, when that call started, I was like same,

1017
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 1: And once they I realized what they said to her,

1018
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, wait a second, maybe they have a

1019
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 1: fucking point, because you know, there are obviously two sides

1020
00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 1: to every story. And then with her defensiveness, I'm like, okay,

1021
00:48:54,680 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to spend a little extra time with

1022
00:48:56,280 --> 00:48:58,359
Speaker 1: her because she does need to take it down a notch.

1023
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,360
Speaker 3: Right, Right, if someone showed up in my house, I

1024
00:49:01,360 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 3: don't care who they are, and they didn't at least

1025
00:49:03,280 --> 00:49:06,839
Speaker 3: attempt to help with the dishes, it's like one oh one.

1026
00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,839
Speaker 1: So that's a little bit of skew. Right, You don't say,

1027
00:49:10,200 --> 00:49:12,280
Speaker 1: nobody's gonna say, can you come help with the dishes?

1028
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,680
Speaker 1: As a guest? No, I don't have That's not their job.

1029
00:49:14,719 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 1: To ask you.

1030
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:17,920
Speaker 3: It's your job to get my mom. This was I

1031
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,759
Speaker 3: was like a kid, kid, like five or something, and

1032
00:49:21,480 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 3: I went over to this little rich boy's house and

1033
00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:27,799
Speaker 3: after we were finished eating, I brought my dishes to

1034
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 3: the sink. And the mom called my mom later and said, yes, well,

1035
00:49:33,120 --> 00:49:35,400
Speaker 3: we just wanted you to know that we have people

1036
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,040
Speaker 3: to do that. And so you tell your daughter that

1037
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 3: she shouldn't bring her dishes to the sink. And my

1038
00:49:42,239 --> 00:49:47,280
Speaker 3: mother said, well, we don't have people, and don't worry

1039
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:50,000
Speaker 3: about it because she's never coming over to your house again. Click.

1040
00:49:52,600 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 3: She was always like, come on, kim On, you're gonna

1041
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:57,640
Speaker 3: do it. Their little things go a long way.

1042
00:49:58,280 --> 00:49:59,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, seriously.

1043
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,920
Speaker 2: So let's take a quick break and we'll be right

1044
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:09,200
Speaker 2: back to wrap up with Brooke and Chelsea.

1045
00:50:09,280 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 1: And we're back to wrap up with Bookshield, who it's

1046
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 1: been as a light as Oh my god, good advice. Brook.

1047
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 1: That was our longest call ever, I think, Catherine.

1048
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,600
Speaker 2: So but it was complicated.

1049
00:50:21,719 --> 00:50:23,200
Speaker 3: Well, I'm kind of both.

1050
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,480
Speaker 1: No, I was down for it. Listen, I could have

1051
00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,279
Speaker 1: been on the phone with her all day. I'm down

1052
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 1: with that right totally.

1053
00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,800
Speaker 2: Well, you know what, Brooke, do you have any advice

1054
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:32,680
Speaker 2: you'd like from Chelsea?

1055
00:50:32,960 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: Yes, Brook, do you have any advice you'd like to

1056
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 1: ask me?

1057
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:38,360
Speaker 3: Well, there was one bit of advice that I was like,

1058
00:50:38,520 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 3: because I don't this is really from your special because

1059
00:50:43,320 --> 00:50:46,920
Speaker 3: I'm really bad with any kind of drug, Like I

1060
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,360
Speaker 3: can't take anything. And I was like, I'm going to

1061
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,239
Speaker 3: ask her what she thinks would work for me to

1062
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:54,839
Speaker 3: sort of dial me down a little bit every once

1063
00:50:54,880 --> 00:50:57,560
Speaker 3: in a while so that I could relax a little more.

1064
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, I don't think you're think you're cut out

1065
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,200
Speaker 1: for drugs either. I know what you mean. I know.

1066
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,200
Speaker 1: I mean, like a hit of a joint would be

1067
00:51:05,239 --> 00:51:07,520
Speaker 1: fine for you. Not an edible because those are like

1068
00:51:07,560 --> 00:51:09,759
Speaker 1: long being, but like just a hit, not a joint,

1069
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 1: but just a hit would just take the edge off

1070
00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:14,600
Speaker 1: and make you a little bit loosey, goosey and giggly

1071
00:51:14,719 --> 00:51:17,480
Speaker 1: and not probably as tightly wound as you may feel,

1072
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,359
Speaker 1: because I can I know you and you've talked about it,

1073
00:51:20,400 --> 00:51:22,120
Speaker 1: and you know I feel tightly wound a lot of

1074
00:51:22,160 --> 00:51:23,880
Speaker 1: the times too, even though people would not find that

1075
00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:26,319
Speaker 1: hard to believe. I am. You know, I can be

1076
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 1: really stressed out about stuff, and I find a hit

1077
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: of a joint, not a smoking a joint. A cannabis

1078
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:33,920
Speaker 1: drink would be good too. I'll send you some leisure

1079
00:51:33,960 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: Town here.

1080
00:51:34,640 --> 00:51:36,840
Speaker 3: So you know what I'd do, though, is I try

1081
00:51:36,880 --> 00:51:39,480
Speaker 3: to beat it, like I try to win at it.

1082
00:51:40,280 --> 00:51:43,239
Speaker 3: So the moment where you go, wait a minute, did

1083
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,000
Speaker 3: I did I just go somewhere or no, I'm back?

1084
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,400
Speaker 3: That makes me like panic?

1085
00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. I can't need to have like less

1086
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 1: than two and a half milligrams. You need leisure Town.

1087
00:51:51,560 --> 00:51:53,440
Speaker 1: This is a cannabis drink that has two and a

1088
00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:56,400
Speaker 1: half milligrams. You have to start with that and it

1089
00:51:56,560 --> 00:51:59,479
Speaker 1: just microdose and that's it and that's all you need

1090
00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:01,960
Speaker 1: and you will feel it and you won't get crazy

1091
00:52:02,239 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: and you won't go overboard.

1092
00:52:03,760 --> 00:52:05,480
Speaker 3: Okay, I mean I like tequila.

1093
00:52:05,560 --> 00:52:07,880
Speaker 1: Oh you do like tequila? Yeah, I liked I loved you.

1094
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: There's nothing wrong with drinking. You don't have a drinking problem. Books.

1095
00:52:10,680 --> 00:52:12,560
Speaker 1: You don't have to worry about becoming your mother. That's

1096
00:52:12,600 --> 00:52:15,040
Speaker 1: already a wrap like You're not that person, right.

1097
00:52:16,080 --> 00:52:18,000
Speaker 3: I do have one question, though this is a different

1098
00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:23,680
Speaker 3: type of question as a you said you're not an actress,

1099
00:52:23,719 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 3: but you really your talent and your performance, the level

1100
00:52:28,200 --> 00:52:33,520
Speaker 3: of rejection that is in this industry, Yes, how do

1101
00:52:33,640 --> 00:52:38,200
Speaker 3: you find the way to say no, I'm I'm really

1102
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 3: good and I'm going to keep putting myself out there

1103
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,520
Speaker 3: and I'm not going to take it personally. You know,

1104
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:45,960
Speaker 3: when you get doors slammed in your face or you

1105
00:52:46,040 --> 00:52:49,279
Speaker 3: don't get so many of these things, what's the thing

1106
00:52:49,320 --> 00:52:53,759
Speaker 3: inside you that makes you say no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nope, nope, nope.

1107
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,719
Speaker 3: I will not be rejected like this.

1108
00:52:56,080 --> 00:52:59,640
Speaker 1: I'm a hustler. God, that's me too, And you're always

1109
00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 1: gonna hear I've been here this whole time. So you've

1110
00:53:01,640 --> 00:53:04,440
Speaker 1: been here for thirty something years forty well for you,

1111
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:07,360
Speaker 1: I don't even know how many years are fifty seven.

1112
00:53:07,120 --> 00:53:09,400
Speaker 3: Because I started when I was eleven months old.

1113
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:11,399
Speaker 1: Right, Okay, there you go, And so you've been here

1114
00:53:11,440 --> 00:53:13,399
Speaker 1: this whole time, so you're not going anywhere. So fuck

1115
00:53:13,440 --> 00:53:17,360
Speaker 1: anybody who says no. Listen, rejection fucking sucks. I've rejected

1116
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:19,919
Speaker 1: all the time too. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts,

1117
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 1: it hurts, But it's not all there is. There's always

1118
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:24,799
Speaker 1: there's acceptance, and there's the one person that says yes,

1119
00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:26,520
Speaker 1: or the one person that gives you the deal or

1120
00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:29,359
Speaker 1: the opportunity or the podcast or this or that. And

1121
00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:31,800
Speaker 1: when you're a hustler, you will always find a way.

1122
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:33,480
Speaker 1: So that's what you are.

1123
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:36,440
Speaker 3: That's the way I've lived my life. And you know,

1124
00:53:36,560 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 3: people will say to me, oh, you have such a

1125
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:41,400
Speaker 3: varied career. I'm like, why do you think that is?

1126
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 3: That's when I'm shut out over here. I'm like, oh, God,

1127
00:53:45,440 --> 00:53:48,800
Speaker 3: write a book or you know. And right, it's because

1128
00:53:48,840 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 3: I will not not be creative in some way or another.

1129
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:55,560
Speaker 3: I just I hadn't heard you say it that way.

1130
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 3: I've always when people say how are you, I say,

1131
00:53:59,320 --> 00:54:03,439
Speaker 3: it's all a h no matter what, it's all awesome. Yeah,

1132
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 3: And there's something liberating about that too.

1133
00:54:06,160 --> 00:54:08,440
Speaker 1: So yeah, you know what. Also, I'm proud of being

1134
00:54:08,480 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 1: a hustler. I'd love to go that's a fucking great

1135
00:54:11,239 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 1: way to be.

1136
00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:14,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, my mom would be proud of both of us.

1137
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:17,319
Speaker 1: Well, thank you Brooks so much. It was such a

1138
00:54:17,360 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 1: fun time talking to you. Thanks for taking the time

1139
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:20,239
Speaker 1: to do this.

1140
00:54:20,800 --> 00:54:23,400
Speaker 3: Thank you. You look like you're in a beautiful, snowy place.

1141
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,880
Speaker 3: I hope you're in a special place, whatever that is,

1142
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,719
Speaker 3: and enjoying the weather.

1143
00:54:28,120 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you.

1144
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,240
Speaker 3: I am good, feel better.

1145
00:54:31,560 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Have a great Thanks you, bruh.

1146
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:34,160
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1147
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:37,560
Speaker 1: Don't forget to watch my special on Netflix. You guys revolution.

1148
00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:38,880
Speaker 1: It's a revolution.

1149
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,120
Speaker 2: So if you'd like advice from Chelsea, just send us

1150
00:54:42,120 --> 00:54:46,640
Speaker 2: an email at Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.

1151
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartRadio, executive produced by

1152
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:54,640
Speaker 2: Nick Stuff, produced by Catherine Law, and edited and engineered

1153
00:54:54,680 --> 00:54:58,000
Speaker 2: by Brad Dickert.