Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous, it's La La Kent. Welcome to untraditionally, Lala. Oh,
Speaker 1: I love that that tool. Welcome back to untraditionally Lala.
Speaker 1: The bonus episode, we have Valentine's Day right around the corner,
Speaker 1: and I know that so many of us sit here
Speaker 1: and tweak out if we don't have a partner or
Speaker 1: a person. I don't think men think like that. Maybe
Speaker 1: they do. I I won't put them on the back
Speaker 1: burner like they don't have feelings. But a lot of
Speaker 1: women are like what do I do on this day?
Speaker 1: Because it is a holiday for lovers, But for me,
Speaker 1: it's always been Easton's birthday, So I've never really about
Speaker 1: it as like that type of holiday.
Speaker 2: I know, I've always felt so bad about it. Why
Speaker 2: because like, you know, you just start to feel bad,
Speaker 2: like i'd go over to my buddy's house that there's
Speaker 2: some you know, I'd never tell just to let everybody know,
Speaker 2: now you know, Yeah, I don't tell anybody my birthday,
Speaker 2: don't post about it, don't say anything. I don't care
Speaker 2: about it. It's everybody's got one, you know. It's like
Speaker 2: a butthole moving on, you know. But like when you
Speaker 2: go over to friend's houses and like be hanging out.
Speaker 2: Like there were times where, like, you know, my birthday
Speaker 2: would be coming up and I would go to a
Speaker 2: friend's house and they would be like, oh, what are
Speaker 2: you going to do? Because it came up, and like
Speaker 2: the mom and dad were like, yeah, we're going to
Speaker 2: do this, this and this, and I was like, damn,
Speaker 2: my mom and dad could be doing that, but I'm
Speaker 2: taking it.
Speaker 1: I want to.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Let me just have my depressing thought.
Speaker 1: You bitch, you're still tweaking off the vape icy but no,
Speaker 1: I just somebody who is a mother. Now, if my
Speaker 1: baby were born on Valentine, you're well, you're kind of
Speaker 1: in there.
Speaker 2: You're maybe's birthday is a day after yours.
Speaker 1: And I was really hoping that she came on my
Speaker 1: birthday because I was like, what a wonderful way to
Speaker 1: celebrate my birthday with her is now going to be.
Speaker 2: I'm glad she didn't though, because of my thoughts, because.
Speaker 1: She doesn't want to share it with me.
Speaker 2: Will not share it. But maybe it's not sharing. I
Speaker 2: don't care that. I feel like I'm taking away and
Speaker 2: she could grow up and be like I took a
Speaker 2: day away from my mom that she very much deserves.
Speaker 2: Oh do youee know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: You're a very selfless person, and I understand where your
Speaker 1: head's at.
Speaker 2: That's why I don't love my birthday because I feel
Speaker 2: like I took a lot of love away from Mom.
Speaker 1: And are you gonna cry? Yeah? Oh love you? You
Speaker 1: do think I worked out this morning song? That is right?
Speaker 2: Sometimes I do feel like that, you know I don't.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well you are You're the person who always says
Speaker 1: that you have to separate your feelings from facts, because
Speaker 1: your feelings are not facts. So now I'm going to
Speaker 1: point this out to you true and I'm glad you
Speaker 1: said that. This is how you're feeling. And I think
Speaker 1: it's beautiful that your mind even goes there. It just
Speaker 1: goes to show, like, what a kind and beautiful heart
Speaker 1: you have is thinking about Mom and Dad celebrating, but
Speaker 1: the fact is that you're their son, and what a
Speaker 1: beautiful way to celebrate the holiday of love. That's the
Speaker 1: whole point of it.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 1: I know then, this child that they brought into the
Speaker 1: world out of love and they celebrated like every Wednesday
Speaker 1: Tuesday they go and do something. You just had date night.
Speaker 2: You know, you just have that feeling. But now I'm
Speaker 2: crying more because my dad's gone and my mom doesn't
Speaker 2: have a Valentine.
Speaker 1: You're Valentine. You already know that. She tells you that.
Speaker 2: It's kind of happy tears now, No, but that like
Speaker 2: that's why I don't love my birthday and things like that,
Speaker 2: but I'm happy it is when it is. Though I
Speaker 2: feel like it's like a lot of around my birthday,
Speaker 2: so I'm like, oh, it's always yea, yeah, lots.
Speaker 1: Of yummy candy. And even when dad was around Easton,
Speaker 1: Mom always said like, I I celebrate Valentine's Day with
Speaker 1: my forever Valentine.
Speaker 2: Which is you.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, and I'm glad that you know. I'm happy, And
Speaker 2: there's just I have those thoughts and those are my
Speaker 2: thoughts that I need to work through of like damn,
Speaker 2: but then again, well on the fifteenth, ye old bags right,
Speaker 2: yeah totally, but no, I just yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't want you to think that way at all.
Speaker 1: And I think once you become a parent, you will
Speaker 1: realize how whatever day it is is you you're just
Speaker 1: so like you just love your baby and you're just
Speaker 1: so excited to celebrate that.
Speaker 2: If anybody else with a birthday on the fourteenth feels
Speaker 2: like this, or even like on Christmas or like something,
Speaker 2: do you feel like, damn, I'm taking away if you.
Speaker 1: Were born on Christmas, Yes, you're fucking taking away.
Speaker 2: Because I know people.
Speaker 1: And I hate now you're messing with Jesus's birthday and
Speaker 1: that I will not s people who.
Speaker 2: Are like and it is my birthday and we will
Speaker 2: do what I want to do.
Speaker 1: Because I don't like that either day. By the way,
Speaker 1: no one is ever if you have a birthday, I
Speaker 1: do feel badly like you dated a girl who had
Speaker 1: a birthday on the twenty fourth of And I get
Speaker 1: that because it's not the funnest day to have that,
Speaker 1: But I just I don't think about things like that.
Speaker 1: It's like, okay, well, just one more thing to celebrate.
Speaker 2: Do you want to know what I was thinking about?
Speaker 2: And how sad? Tell me my ex I'm not my
Speaker 2: ex's ex. Probably how fucked up? I'm not my ex's X.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, like she's dated so many guys since you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I'm not like how funny? Like when I
Speaker 2: talk about my ex if you were to talk about
Speaker 2: to her about hers.
Speaker 1: I'm not that I'm not her ex.
Speaker 2: You're one of her exes, yes, but like the most
Speaker 2: recent think about how she dated since well, yes.
Speaker 1: You're not even supposed to be dating until a year
Speaker 1: into sobriety. Let's get you grounded on your feet.
Speaker 2: I didn't say I wanted to date. I was thinking
Speaker 2: about that.
Speaker 1: I want you to want to date. Since we're thinking
Speaker 1: about love. There is a girl that you is cute.
Speaker 2: I like, I'm talking to girls. I'm in no position
Speaker 2: to date, and I have told them that, like I, yes,
Speaker 2: I do have to go out and talk to women
Speaker 2: and be a part of society. I have to fuck,
Speaker 2: but I do tell them like, hey, I'm not in
Speaker 2: a position to be in a relationship. But that's what
Speaker 2: this is you're wanting. Like, then I have to like,
Speaker 2: you're just wanting to getting this belt with a lot of.
Speaker 1: Notches on it. You're not supposed to be doing any
Speaker 1: of that in your first year of sobriety.
Speaker 2: I am talking to women, I'm not talking to I
Speaker 2: cannot date.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not telling you how to run your program.
Speaker 1: I'm just saying what it says you're supposed to do,
Speaker 1: and I'm not here to judge anybody on how they're
Speaker 1: working their program.
Speaker 2: I'm not dating.
Speaker 1: You don't know what you're doing dumping some rocks off.
Speaker 1: I know that's not true because if you were, you
Speaker 1: wouldn't tell me, So I know you're freaking lying.
Speaker 2: Sticking to sobriety. I'm talking. It's weird though, because I'll
Speaker 2: talk to girls and I'm like, oh god, I how
Speaker 2: I did ghost a lot?
Speaker 1: By the way, you need to work on that. Then
Speaker 1: I don't co sign on that at all. I find
Speaker 1: that to be a very toxic trait and very young minded.
Speaker 1: Like yes, you can go down the line.
Speaker 2: Like we have been talking for months or weeks or anything.
Speaker 2: It'll be like, hey, how are you? Oh wow, great,
Speaker 2: what have you been doing? I see you live in LA.
Speaker 1: I don't respond, okay, do you do you? You do you?
Speaker 2: Because that's where I'm like, if I keep talking to
Speaker 2: this person, what comes from it? I have to go
Speaker 2: and grab coffee. I have to do something I'm not
Speaker 2: supposed to and for me to go, I loved this conversation,
Speaker 2: but I'm sorry if I were to conte it, I
Speaker 2: don't think this would be good for my sobriety. And
Speaker 2: at that point, Like, so, like, at what point is
Speaker 2: ghosting and we haven't talked where it's long enough because
Speaker 2: if I did talk to you long enough, you would
Speaker 2: know my situation and I could happily tell you like
Speaker 2: I can't do it, and you would have to respect that.
Speaker 2: But yes, I just don't right back to a lot
Speaker 2: of people because I'm like, Okay, you're close, you're in la.
Speaker 2: I could see what is coming of it if I
Speaker 2: keep this conversation right, I have to end it.
Speaker 1: So I just don't respond. Okay, I think that's better.
Speaker 2: I had to. It's for everybody. I'm not ghosting because
Speaker 2: that is small minded, is childish. Worked on that, but
Speaker 2: now I'm in that point and it's tough. I'm still
Speaker 2: like rocking a hard spot of like how do I
Speaker 2: do it? Because I don't feel great when I like
Speaker 2: don't respond to somebody. But I'm like my response would
Speaker 2: be shittier.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally get that, Like what do I even say?
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's but like I want a Valentine date or something,
Speaker 2: not even well it's not even for the birthday, but
Speaker 2: like I would like to go on a date to
Speaker 2: know I know how to still talk to women.
Speaker 1: You know. Okay, so that let's talk about this because
Speaker 1: you have said you want to celebrate your birthday, which
Speaker 1: is Valentine's date in Utah. I'm just along for the
Speaker 1: freaking ride if you If you want to go to
Speaker 1: Utah and have like a friend's trip and you want
Speaker 1: to go, I want to.
Speaker 2: I want family.
Speaker 1: But because we don't get enough time together as it is, well,
Speaker 1: you guys are my friends. I know we have so
Speaker 1: much fun together, all of us.
Speaker 2: But no, I would like, uh, and it's not like
Speaker 2: I want to go on out Valentine's Night and go.
Speaker 2: It's like, no, I just like to talk to a
Speaker 2: girl and be like, hey, let's go celebrate a night
Speaker 2: of say Valentine and fucking go and grab some food
Speaker 2: by the beach, tacos or something. But yes, I would like, yes,
Speaker 2: that's the other day. That would be the perfect date
Speaker 2: for me, right, And that's but I want to go
Speaker 2: on a date. And you understand, like, yes, I can't
Speaker 2: see it's a heart, it's a rock and a hard spot, and.
Speaker 1: I want to do it different because where lapse.
Speaker 2: Came off of me having one identity and one identity,
Speaker 2: one identity only, and it was so sober AA meetings
Speaker 2: and obviously it didn't work.
Speaker 1: Can I step in here? Your mindset is very all
Speaker 1: over the place and what I would like you to do,
Speaker 1: because you're doing what I have done a many of time,
Speaker 1: where you go down many different avenues to try and
Speaker 1: talk yourself into dating because that is what you want,
Speaker 1: right but then you try to actively talk yourself out
Speaker 1: of it and all of the roadblocks on why you
Speaker 1: couldn't do those things and my subriety. Okay, so let's
Speaker 1: just make it clear cut. Yes, Easton at some point
Speaker 1: wants to find a person that one day he could
Speaker 1: take out on Valentine's Day he can celebrate his birthday
Speaker 1: with someone he loves. Is the timing a little bit off?
Speaker 1: It could be because of his sobriety, and that's most important.
Speaker 1: But you're not going to close yourself off off to
Speaker 1: going out and meeting someone because you could meet someone
Speaker 1: in the program and maybe you, guys, form like a
Speaker 1: really amazing friendship and start dating later on. I just
Speaker 1: don't want you to get to where I have gotten
Speaker 1: many times, where I know deep down what I want,
Speaker 1: which is somebody, and it may not be like the norm,
Speaker 1: like the cookie cutter relationship. It's a little bit different
Speaker 1: and untraditional, but ultimately I would like to find that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I.
Speaker 1: Would go down all of these routes on why it
Speaker 1: didn't make sense, and those things really made sense to me.
Speaker 1: I'm like, they add a lot of stress, they add
Speaker 1: a lot of drama. But I can't do it because
Speaker 1: I have kids. Yes, all play a factor, but let's
Speaker 1: just let it be.
Speaker 2: Okay, let's just let it be.
Speaker 1: What does one do? Let's get out of our own heads.
Speaker 1: For all the people out there who are spending Valentine's Day, solow,
Speaker 1: what does one do to not have stress and pressure
Speaker 1: of Valentine's Day.
Speaker 2: That's easy for me because I usually spend my birthdays
Speaker 2: with just a couple of people or alone. And I
Speaker 2: do that on purpose or with you guys. But I
Speaker 2: love getting like Chinese.
Speaker 1: Food so much fun. You can never go wrong with that.
Speaker 2: Order Chinese food. I love.
Speaker 1: And here's the thing.
Speaker 2: If you go out on Valentine's Day, it's always too
Speaker 2: busy everybody, you guys.
Speaker 1: I find Valentine's Day to be the biggest, like the
Speaker 1: biggest money grab from restaurants. It's fine, it's you're it's
Speaker 1: part of it.
Speaker 2: But I don't like being.
Speaker 1: A part of the thing. Not even that though it's
Speaker 1: like people five hundred dollars a person for it's like
Speaker 1: these amazing restaurants, and I get it, like some people
Speaker 1: are into it. I think if you're really into Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: go all out, because then it's it's not a push
Speaker 1: for you, right.
Speaker 2: I don't even think it's if you love Valentine's Day,
Speaker 2: if you love somebody enough to go and do that.
Speaker 1: No, great, No, But if you enjoy it, if you
Speaker 1: enjoy being out and about like that and doing the
Speaker 1: Valentine's Day type dingy, but don't do it because you
Speaker 1: feel like you have to. Yeah, you should do make
Speaker 1: that pressure on yourself.
Speaker 2: Because even that, like when I even when I was
Speaker 2: talking to girls and like they would be like, what
Speaker 2: do you want to do for Valentine like your birthday,
Speaker 2: and be like, let's just sit in Yeah.
Speaker 1: Best.
Speaker 2: I love a good movie, ice cream and like Chinese food.
Speaker 2: That's my go to for my Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think that's a good one. And I think
Speaker 1: if you're a female and you maybe have one or
Speaker 1: two or a group of friends who are single, go
Speaker 1: pland something with them, Go do something fun or go like,
Speaker 1: spend a night at your house.
Speaker 2: Cocktails, watch brides mabe if you drink, make some cocktails.
Speaker 1: Heyday, Watch John Tucker Must Die. Oh, yes, you know,
Speaker 1: watch the women. Watch Hot Girl, the Hot Girl, Hot Chick.
Speaker 2: It's me that one.
Speaker 1: That one. I might watch that on my Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: It's so good.
Speaker 2: No, that's I do like Valentine's Day. I don't love
Speaker 2: my birthday. Peek on it established.
Speaker 1: That you've cried about it and you've been very upset.
Speaker 1: I like it. I think it's a great holiday to
Speaker 1: have everythday of.
Speaker 2: Christmas vacation. But they're all chewing them. I like it.
Speaker 1: No, that's not it's friends. It's Joey eating the trifle
Speaker 1: and the Shepherd's hi, and everyone's like, it's disgusting.
Speaker 2: I like me good, damn good. Oh, throw me up. Gosh,
Speaker 2: what do they do on Valentine's Day? What's friends? I'm
Speaker 2: going to take a book out of friends, a page
Speaker 2: out of the book of friends.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Have they ever they do?
Speaker 2: They'll do? They do a Valentine I watch.
Speaker 1: Every year, obviously, any of them that celebrate I no Thanksgiving,
Speaker 1: and then obviously like Christmas time whatever.
Speaker 2: New Year's is always in that mix of.
Speaker 1: I remember one year I had a really fun Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: and this was when I was not sober. Obviously. We
Speaker 1: ordered takeout, I took edibles and watched Scream Queens, Scream Queens,
Speaker 1: Scream Queens. I was very high. I don't remember much
Speaker 1: about it, but it was fun. It was very fun.
Speaker 1: I mean it was with Emma Roberts or something. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I was lit to the sky. It was
Speaker 1: the best Valentine's Day ever. They make a mixtape, Chandler,
Speaker 1: that's right. Oh, I remember the Valentine's Day one. Remember
Speaker 1: they have to make homemade gifts for each other, Chandler
Speaker 1: and Monica. He gives her the sock puppet and you
Speaker 1: got this from Phoebe because I was going to get one.
Speaker 1: And Chandler gives the the mixtape. Yeah so much, Chandler,
Speaker 1: bing ah. That is good. I By the way, how
Speaker 1: great would that be if you had a Valentine who
Speaker 1: loved friends just as much as you and she gave
Speaker 1: you that mixtape or Valentine's dape? What's a good Valentine's Day? Gift.
Speaker 1: What would you give to a girl?
Speaker 2: Oh no, I always gave like gift cards because I
Speaker 2: didn't know what but it was and it is.
Speaker 1: So in personal well it's awful.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd give them flowers and like either ear rings
Speaker 2: or like a ring, and then a gift card.
Speaker 1: Oh well start with that, well, the flowers, the jewelry,
Speaker 1: and then the gift cards.
Speaker 2: The gift card usually is what you're getting for, So
Speaker 2: I would get like a gift card to somewhere like
Speaker 2: that so they could pay, so you know, they could
Speaker 2: pick it out. And then I would also get like
Speaker 2: flowers in a ring, depending on what they like, like
Speaker 2: a little break, yeah, just something like that.
Speaker 1: I mean I think I would want just like a
Speaker 1: nice dinner and a card, like I don't need a gift,
Speaker 1: But it would also depend on who the guy is. Like,
Speaker 1: I feel uncomfortable accepting gifts for men that I don't
Speaker 1: really know because then it's like I have to pretend
Speaker 1: I'm opening this gift. You guys, I hate getting gifts
Speaker 1: because then I have to fucking pretend like I like it. Well,
Speaker 1: what if I don't like it.
Speaker 2: I'm not getting And also like if I if I'm
Speaker 2: not dating you, and I'm going on like a date
Speaker 2: for Valentine. I'm not getting you a gift just because
Speaker 2: it's Valentine's Day. It's just a date happens to be
Speaker 2: on Valentine's Day. I'm getting you.
Speaker 1: I can never go on a first day yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not going on a first date on Valentine on
Speaker 1: a first date on Valentine either way. I would love
Speaker 1: for you guys to write in if any of you
Speaker 1: are going on on a first date on Valentine's Day,
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it. You guys, write in right in.
Speaker 1: I want to know, because that would give me bubble guts. No,
Speaker 1: I would have a full panic attack.
Speaker 2: Well that and I would need a whole leader of peptoto.
Speaker 1: Yeah to calm the bubble guts. Thank you for tuning
Speaker 1: into another bonus episode of Untraditionally, Lala. I hope you
Speaker 1: have a wonderful day, a wonderful v Day coming up,
Speaker 1: and we are going to catch you on Wednesday and
Speaker 1: again next week. Bye bye,