Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanna way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim, and give us
Speaker 2: time and a terminal and gay, we want to send
Speaker 2: you off inside. We wanna welcome you back home. Tell
Speaker 2: us all about ity scared?
Speaker 1: He was it fine?
Speaker 3: Malborn?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 4: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 1: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do your need need to ride?
Speaker 4: To ride with Karen and Chris? Welcome to Do you
Speaker 4: need a ride? This is Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 1: And this is Karen Kilgarrett.
Speaker 4: Hello, my friend Karen. How are you doing? Chris?
Speaker 1: I'm good. It looks like you're back home from Montana.
Speaker 4: I am.
Speaker 6: I came back on a plane. I decided to use
Speaker 6: an airplane, a commercial airline, smart private, you know.
Speaker 4: How I good? That would be never flown private and
Speaker 4: on the plane.
Speaker 1: I highly recommend it.
Speaker 4: It's very I mean one day right, yeah, this dream.
Speaker 6: These Australian men sat next to me and they I
Speaker 6: didn't learn my lesson. I try not to do this
Speaker 6: or tell people what I do. But they were listening
Speaker 6: to my favorite murder on his phone. No yeah, and
Speaker 6: I had to right when they sat down.
Speaker 4: It was on his phone and he was listening and
Speaker 4: I was like.
Speaker 6: I have a podcast with her with Karen, and I'm like,
Speaker 6: what have I done? And he said, oh, I want
Speaker 6: to listen to it, and he listened to it while
Speaker 6: I sat next to him, and I just pretended to
Speaker 6: be asleep. But I didn't hear him chuckle very much,
Speaker 6: so I didn't I didn't reach r E M.
Speaker 1: Was it because you were so worried about it?
Speaker 6: And that's when I pretended to wake up. An hour later,
Speaker 6: his friend was like, did you hear him chuckling? And
Speaker 6: I wanted to be like, no, no, I didn't know
Speaker 6: what episode.
Speaker 4: Do you listen to?
Speaker 3: Also, chuckles are an insult. We want guffaws. I'm not
Speaker 3: full on standing belly last.
Speaker 6: At no point did he accidentally slap my nearby knee,
Speaker 6: which is what I wanted, but I.
Speaker 3: I'm I feel proud that you claimed me that way though.
Speaker 3: That's really nice of you.
Speaker 4: I was so excited.
Speaker 6: I mean, it's never right next to me where i'm
Speaker 6: because I always look at other people's phones, their kids.
Speaker 4: I'll read a book.
Speaker 6: I've watched entire movies over someone's shoulders and they look
Speaker 6: back like, and I'm like, I don't care.
Speaker 4: It's right in front of me. What else am I
Speaker 4: going to look at?
Speaker 1: What are you gonna do about it?
Speaker 4: Yeah? What are you gonna do?
Speaker 1: Better?
Speaker 4: Also, I'm going to play peek boo with your kid.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be I'm in your life now, I'm your
Speaker 1: new uncle.
Speaker 4: Yeah. They were very nice, and he very much joy.
Speaker 4: He listened to two episodes, so, oh well.
Speaker 3: That's unless he's the most polite person on the planet.
Speaker 3: That second episode proves he liked it. Yes, it is,
Speaker 3: Thank you, Australian Traveler.
Speaker 6: It also proves how long I pretended to be asleep.
Speaker 6: Two full that's two full hours.
Speaker 1: At least, that's two hours.
Speaker 4: I swear, though I hurt, I could hear his earbuds.
Speaker 6: I swear he was fast forward, and it sounded like
Speaker 6: our voices were high pitched.
Speaker 4: He was just you know, he'd read a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, people put you on like sex two.
Speaker 3: We're just like, okay, I just need the information and
Speaker 3: the jokes real fast.
Speaker 1: You need to get through this.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, And he was getting all the jokes, but
Speaker 6: it sounded like one of the teachers from peanuts.
Speaker 4: But it was our voices. He was indeed listening.
Speaker 1: What if that's what? Were we really sound like? We're
Speaker 1: just kidding ourselves.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you never know, like some people know they how
Speaker 6: do we know?
Speaker 4: When I see green?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 4: How do I know I'm seeing the same color as you.
Speaker 4: It's the same as with voices.
Speaker 3: I mean, we're all so different and yet we're all
Speaker 3: exactly the same.
Speaker 6: We're all swirling atoms in a sea of.
Speaker 3: Chaos, including Australians especially there, sir.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, I'm I'm very excited for today's guests. We
Speaker 6: are given a list to sometimes of potential guests and
Speaker 6: you and I immediately it was like a jink spy, you
Speaker 6: a coke.
Speaker 3: We did circles with the pen pressed through the paper.
Speaker 3: There was an energy about the picking. Yes, there was
Speaker 3: a thrill that it was even a possibility.
Speaker 4: There was a consistent agreement that we made the right choice. Yeah,
Speaker 4: that continues.
Speaker 3: There was three checks all the way out to the
Speaker 3: edge of the paper, so that would be eight inches
Speaker 3: right by eleven eight inches?
Speaker 4: What I did?
Speaker 6: The check marks became so rapid and lengthy that I
Speaker 6: had to get a piece of tape and an extra
Speaker 6: strip of paper to extend it.
Speaker 1: To extend the Yeah, just for all the check marks
Speaker 1: of agreement.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it was at least two and a half
Speaker 3: pages of green checks.
Speaker 1: I mean, our system is pretty involved.
Speaker 3: It's a system of checks, and it's checks and bellow
Speaker 3: literal checks.
Speaker 1: This guest, her checks went out to the horizon.
Speaker 6: And it's out to the horizon, which is as far
Speaker 6: as she's been touring lately.
Speaker 4: And you can see her at.
Speaker 3: Company clubs, at colleges and colleges all over the future.
Speaker 6: In the future, maybe cruise ships, if she could be
Speaker 6: so lucky, and you could often My favorite thing is
Speaker 6: to watch her online dancing with her grandmother. Yes, everyone
Speaker 6: put your hands together for osco o katska wo yayyay.
Speaker 4: Did you like that? Segue into your intro?
Speaker 5: Y'all are pros the checks and checks and checks the
Speaker 5: margin of the paper. I said, are they talking about me?
Speaker 5: I had to turn around. I said, is there someone
Speaker 5: else they're bringing up? Because that is a lot of
Speaker 5: agreement of one person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's so much love here for you. We're just
Speaker 1: thrilled to have you here.
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, and we honestly mean it. We're very
Speaker 6: happy to have you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this time, we're not lying.
Speaker 6: Yeah right, there's always a you can hear a tone
Speaker 6: of often like sarcasm or stuff, because we're all comedians
Speaker 6: and we all want to be funny. But I'm being
Speaker 6: fucking dead serious. God damn it when I say it's
Speaker 6: so good to have you, and then.
Speaker 5: I laughed, no, I And but the way you said
Speaker 5: you talked about my grandmother, like how much how much
Speaker 5: better would it be if my grandma was here too?
Speaker 6: I you're the only If I were someone that gives
Speaker 6: the green thumb and the and the and the and
Speaker 6: the big light, the a thumbs up to a green
Speaker 6: light in Hollywood, I would give you a development deal.
Speaker 6: And it would have to there'd be an asterisk where
Speaker 6: it had to include your real grandmother. And we haven't
Speaker 6: seen that since the TV show Mama's Family.
Speaker 1: She wasn't real. Grandmother was real, she was clearly not old.
Speaker 5: I'm trying to think of all I guess as these
Speaker 5: used his real parents in his show A Long Time Real. Yeah,
Speaker 5: my grandma. You know, there's gotta be I do get
Speaker 5: a lot of people writing me being like, hey, will
Speaker 5: your grandma do? Like my short film and stuff.
Speaker 4: Oh, that's great.
Speaker 1: Is she interested in anything like that?
Speaker 5: I'm like, short film? Do you hate her like I?
Speaker 5: I'm you know, it's just like a student short film.
Speaker 5: There's gonna be no rules, you know. I don't know
Speaker 5: what they're gonna do with my grandmother and her weak knees.
Speaker 3: Right, No way, she's actually carrying palettes of water people
Speaker 3: they're working on the short film.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's just like oh you know, yeah, it's
Speaker 5: you know, deferred or whatever, payment deferred. You know. I've
Speaker 5: turned into kind of her manager a little bit where
Speaker 5: I have to sort of like read through the requests.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, because those videos are, first of all, hilarious.
Speaker 3: I think you and I I haven't met you in
Speaker 3: real life, but we did message in the past, but
Speaker 3: potentially doing a show that I couldn't do because I
Speaker 3: was out of town. I think, yeah, but I told
Speaker 3: you how I really. You know, there are people who
Speaker 3: want to pull relatives into their stuff because they think
Speaker 3: it might be whatever.
Speaker 1: It might be.
Speaker 3: Your relationship with your grandmother, the videos that you choose
Speaker 3: to make and the way she participates is so authentic,
Speaker 3: and it's so hilarious and satisfying.
Speaker 1: It's just it's just so great. I would imagine people.
Speaker 3: Are trying to really are trying to get her to
Speaker 3: do other stuff for them because it's so great.
Speaker 1: She does so great with you for sure.
Speaker 5: Yeah. And I think like a big part of this is,
Speaker 5: like we do it. I don't know if you could
Speaker 5: tell we're running from trauma when we're just desperately just
Speaker 5: like shaking our butts, you know, to do a lipa,
Speaker 5: you know what I mean. It's like we are really
Speaker 5: happy making the videos and doing the videos. That's why
Speaker 5: we do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And so it's not necessarily like she wasn't trying to
Speaker 5: be in you know, someone else's in the feature.
Speaker 4: Yeah, no, you can.
Speaker 6: That's what makes those videos so great is she really
Speaker 6: is enjoying it, like I've there's so many viral videos
Speaker 6: you watch where people are jumping out scaring their grandma
Speaker 6: or making them do this cinnamon challenge and.
Speaker 4: They spit out all their teeth elder butts.
Speaker 6: Basically it's gone viral and your grandma just smiles and
Speaker 6: tries to hold back from laughing as she lightly smacks
Speaker 6: your ass as you twerk, and it's the best.
Speaker 4: It is crazy.
Speaker 5: I want to hear about the cinnamon challenge, whether you
Speaker 5: just made it up or not, I want to hear
Speaker 5: what what is it?
Speaker 4: It was?
Speaker 6: I think it was for als research. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 6: I don't know why. It is a thing for a while,
Speaker 6: but it's kind of like like a human cannot drink
Speaker 6: a gallon of water or a gallon of milk. Sorry,
Speaker 6: or apparently it is impossible to eat a spoonful of cinnamon.
Speaker 4: I don't know.
Speaker 6: I've never tried it myself because I've seen the results
Speaker 6: and it seems actually painful because it goes comes out
Speaker 6: of people's nostrils, it burns, and you can't swallow a
Speaker 6: thing of cinnamon.
Speaker 3: So people would make videos and post I think this
Speaker 3: was an early vine thing, Yes, TikTok, and it was
Speaker 3: like the cinnamon challenge. Go ahead and stick a tablespoon
Speaker 3: of cinnamon in your mouth, video the results suffer, and
Speaker 3: then get some internet cloud.
Speaker 1: Essentially.
Speaker 4: The best one I saw though, this guy.
Speaker 6: They're in like who knows where, but they're in like
Speaker 6: a mobile home, and he's like yelling at his grammy.
Speaker 4: He's like, Grandma, do you like cinnamon?
Speaker 6: She's like, I fucking love cinnamon, and so she was
Speaker 6: one hundred percent ready to do this, and she put
Speaker 6: it in her mouth and then coughed a cloud of
Speaker 6: brown and her teeth flew through the middle of the cloud.
Speaker 6: And she was laughing but also kind of in a
Speaker 6: panic because it disables you, like you can't breathe.
Speaker 1: It's it's not good.
Speaker 6: I'm sure people have died doing it, like on morning
Speaker 6: radio or something like. It's it shouldn't be done. My
Speaker 6: point is your grandma with the videos you do, it's
Speaker 6: nothing like that, because she.
Speaker 5: Did you say morning radio because someone did die on
Speaker 5: a radio show. Remember that drinking too much water?
Speaker 4: That was awful.
Speaker 5: Oh, justin Bieber tickets for the kids. Like there's kind
Speaker 5: of bese scientists involved in challenges, honestly if it involves
Speaker 5: physical stuff.
Speaker 6: Right or the time they I was on the Heavy
Speaker 6: Metal Radios show and they're like if you if you
Speaker 6: can come in and the comedian doesn't make you laugh,
Speaker 6: you get nickelback tickets. It was like, I'm I just
Speaker 6: in order to not laugh. He just wanted to fight.
Speaker 6: He's like, I'll just get really mad at the comedians
Speaker 6: and want to fight them.
Speaker 4: And we're like, this guy's going to kill us. I hate.
Speaker 5: Yeah, Oh my god, that's more manipulative, Like that's that's
Speaker 5: dangerous for you know your mind. Yeah, you got to
Speaker 5: protect that.
Speaker 3: They're just removing all the fun out of like a
Speaker 3: sweepstake situation, and then it's just basically like threatening each
Speaker 3: other for tickets.
Speaker 5: Yeah, whatever happened to get these three questions right?
Speaker 4: Right? Some simple trivia times? Yeah?
Speaker 6: If I learned all the capitals because of situations like this,
Speaker 6: you're gonna make this guy get angry at me. And
Speaker 6: then when the show ends we walk next to each
Speaker 6: other to our cars in the parking lot. Yeah, he's
Speaker 6: still mad even though he got nickelback tickets.
Speaker 5: No, that's messed up. Yeah, whatever happened to guess this song?
Speaker 5: You know, guess in song title you'll get Justin Bieber tickets.
Speaker 4: You don't, you know?
Speaker 5: Just I guess people have to get creative. But call me,
Speaker 5: call me a classic, call me a nostalgia girl, But
Speaker 5: I for those times again.
Speaker 3: Let's get let's get back there now, Osco, did your
Speaker 3: grandmother like live with you? Why are you so close
Speaker 3: with her? Can you just talk about your guys' real
Speaker 3: relationship a little bit? Because I'm fascinated by it.
Speaker 1: I love it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, my grandma raised me and she's always been sort
Speaker 5: of a She's been a caretaker all her life. She
Speaker 5: still takes care of my mom, and my mom has schizophrenia,
Speaker 5: and she raised three kids on her own because her
Speaker 5: husband passed, you know, when she was twenty eight, and
Speaker 5: so she's just kind of done so much by herself.
Speaker 5: And then so when my mom was like, hey, you
Speaker 5: know mental illness, my grandma was like, look, I've done
Speaker 5: this before, I got it. So she raised me as well,
Speaker 5: and yeah, and then it wasn't until like later on,
Speaker 5: now that I'm like older and I can make money
Speaker 5: and support you know and stuff, she's been able to
Speaker 5: relax a little bit. Hence the videos.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: When I when I started like dancing online or you know,
Speaker 5: playing with social media, she was kind of curious about it.
Speaker 5: She's the one that was like, hey, like, can I
Speaker 5: do one with you? And I was like for real, yeah,
Speaker 5: And so I was like, sure, let's do it. And
Speaker 5: she had so much fun. I feel like she's finally
Speaker 5: able to start relaxing a little bit, you know, now
Speaker 5: that my mom is older and like me and my
Speaker 5: husband are like, look, we'll take care of mom after
Speaker 5: you pass, she feels like she can have fun and
Speaker 5: laugh kind of for the first time in her life.
Speaker 5: So that that's kind of our relationship. You're getting to
Speaker 5: see my grandma at her most relaxed like in her
Speaker 5: life you know online.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and love that she is curious about like modern life.
Speaker 3: That's the thing I love about my dad too. Like
Speaker 3: my dad he thinks the fact that like iPhones exist
Speaker 3: is the greatest thing ever. He loves stuff like like
Speaker 3: he thinks that kind of innovation. He's so interested and
Speaker 3: invested in like what's happening now, which I think is
Speaker 3: a really good sign of like it keeps your mind
Speaker 3: active and it keeps you kind of in you know.
Speaker 3: I think there's a lot of people that feel like
Speaker 3: they've fallen behind or slip behind or something and they
Speaker 3: feel detached from modern life. And so you know, I
Speaker 3: don't know exactly how old your grandma is, but like
Speaker 3: a grandma aged lady being like what are you doing
Speaker 3: is the magical?
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I think that's so fun because I was
Speaker 5: thinking about this, like it's like the twenty and thirty
Speaker 5: year olds that are like phones are bad for you,
Speaker 5: like or like you know, nostalgic quote unquote for like,
Speaker 5: remember we just listened to we used to listen to records,
Speaker 5: and I'm like, you were too, yeah yeah, And they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: just like social I don't know if I don't know
Speaker 5: if you know what I'm talking about, but a lot
Speaker 5: of like young hipsters.
Speaker 6: Yeah, talking about records and cassettes and ordering VHS tapes
Speaker 6: like this was the good old days.
Speaker 4: It's like my grandma dodged polio.
Speaker 5: Exactly, and meanwhile Grandma is the one being like, what's
Speaker 5: the WiFi password? Hurry, I need to get online. Yeah,
Speaker 5: fix my phone now, I need to get back to emailing.
Speaker 5: You know, like it's so weird that, like, you know,
Speaker 5: it's it's the opposite. I guess if you have curly hair,
Speaker 5: you want straight hair. If you won't have straight hair,
Speaker 5: you want curly hair kind of thing.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if you're young, you want to rebel against the
Speaker 3: thing you kind of take for granted.
Speaker 1: It's like I saw the.
Speaker 3: Thing where they're like the new thing was people started
Speaker 3: wearing the earbuds that still had the connectors like that.
Speaker 1: I actually saw an art.
Speaker 3: I was like, this is the hip thing to use
Speaker 3: now where I was like, I just got these air buds.
Speaker 5: Why what are we talking about, don't you wire is
Speaker 5: turns into one yes, yes, oh okay, yeah yeah yeah
Speaker 5: they're back Okay, just to be like.
Speaker 4: So funny, Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 6: Remember the earliest to the mid early two thousands, the
Speaker 6: more bad on it here on the Classic Rock station.
Speaker 4: This one's from two thousand and five.
Speaker 6: I mentioned this Karen right where I was at a
Speaker 6: skatepark and a BMX guy had those ear His ear
Speaker 6: got taken, his outer ear got ripped off by chords.
Speaker 6: The cord to his earbuds that wrapped around his ear
Speaker 6: got caught in his spokes, but he calmly was holding
Speaker 6: his ear. Sorry, this is horrifying to even talk. But
Speaker 6: if you saw his reaction, he wanted he wanted everyone
Speaker 6: to feel calm. And I never once did anything while
Speaker 6: listening to music again, just because the chord, it was,
Speaker 6: how rapidly it got it got caught and it whatever,
Speaker 6: it was horrifying.
Speaker 1: So I think it just like removed.
Speaker 6: Yeah, there's no reason to have a very strong wire connected.
Speaker 5: Rest is what you're saying. You're you're about the pods they.
Speaker 6: Are Yeah, bluetooths saved lives and teeth probably.
Speaker 3: I mean, I've done the thing where I've gotten mine.
Speaker 3: I use these ones when we record because I don't move.
Speaker 3: But in the past, when I had them and would
Speaker 3: walk around being like, look at me and my iPod,
Speaker 3: modern life, and then you get caught on a like
Speaker 3: a door handle and get yanked back to you know,
Speaker 3: was never as bad as getting your whole ear off,
Speaker 3: but it is a pretty jarring. You know, You're just
Speaker 3: trying to listen to the eurythmics and relax and then
Speaker 3: you're like get yanked back like you're in a you're
Speaker 3: in a bad movie.
Speaker 5: I also really like how you know your your impression
Speaker 5: of you being a modern woman. Look at me, I'm modern.
Speaker 4: I love that.
Speaker 5: A little shoulder shrug.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like I was walking in my studio apartment.
Speaker 3: That's that's how I act modern. Just yes, yeah, use
Speaker 3: those shoulders as you walk.
Speaker 5: Yeah. I mean, truth is, we're just real modern people
Speaker 5: in a modern world. And some people you know, you're
Speaker 5: in for the past. I just found out the vintage
Speaker 5: means it could be just from like ten years ago
Speaker 5: or something.
Speaker 1: True.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So clothing for clothing stores, vintage clothing stores like
Speaker 5: it's it doesn't have to be like stuff from the
Speaker 5: seventies anymore. So when Chris said, like, yeah, you know
Speaker 5: early two thousands like that would be in a vintage store.
Speaker 5: Now does that make sense?
Speaker 4: Do I sound like that? Do I sound like kind
Speaker 4: of a high surfer? You know?
Speaker 5: The thing is, you know, I'm like, I'm not known
Speaker 5: for my impression.
Speaker 3: You know, I was like, who's talking right now?
Speaker 6: How is it the Chris's mouth isn't moving in his
Speaker 6: zoom square.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like you're a little bit like a weightlifter.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I know. Karen was like, oh, I'm modern and
Speaker 5: and it was just like the best time on their podcast.
Speaker 5: That's That's what I'm gonna be doing.
Speaker 4: It is it is the modern future.
Speaker 6: If someone, if if we were to realistically show someone
Speaker 6: what the future is, it would be just kind of
Speaker 6: strutting around your apartment.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's more modern, let's be realistic. Yeah.
Speaker 6: I get dressed up every day today, I dressed up
Speaker 6: pretty night, have worn nice, have worn three different outfits
Speaker 6: and then I changed for the podcast.
Speaker 5: No one's like, let me get self tapes, no reason
Speaker 5: at all except I it's just to do something.
Speaker 6: I'm occupying. I have not left the house. I warn
Speaker 6: outfit to go get coffee. I came back home. I
Speaker 6: thought I would change. And that's the future, is what
Speaker 6: I'm saying. I'm a modern man stretching around my apartment.
Speaker 5: Yeah, doing things for yourself, like you know, which is
Speaker 5: already so hard to do. So freaking props for that,
Speaker 5: Like I'm such a big like I not that I
Speaker 5: preach it, but I kind of talk about it in
Speaker 5: my stand up a lot, which is like, like waking
Speaker 5: up is already so hard, you know, changing three times
Speaker 5: just for yourself, that's awesome.
Speaker 4: It is.
Speaker 6: I didn't realize it really till right now. Like I
Speaker 6: got new shoes. I didn't need new shoes, new skateboarding
Speaker 6: shoes that I'm not going to skate in, but I
Speaker 6: have not shown them to anyone. I really like them,
Speaker 6: and I wake up and I put them on, and uh,
Speaker 6: you know, I've been going I'm not saying I'm being
Speaker 6: a weirdo and not living my life.
Speaker 4: I've been on planes, I've been seeing family.
Speaker 6: But I get dressed up to hang out at my apartment,
Speaker 6: and it makes me happier if I look down and
Speaker 6: see new shoes and I run back and forth, just
Speaker 6: like when I tried them on in the shoe store
Speaker 6: and let the grown man pinch my toe just see.
Speaker 4: If they fit.
Speaker 3: I think it's important though these days we are because
Speaker 3: of Omicron wave three, whatever wherever we're at right now,
Speaker 3: it is important to start making your at home experience
Speaker 3: the best version of that at home experience, so we're
Speaker 3: not just all laying on the couch being like, oh stuck.
Speaker 1: It's like if that means.
Speaker 3: Fashion shows for you, Chris, Yeah, God bless because you
Speaker 3: just you got to make it. You got to make
Speaker 3: you got to still have a good time, even though
Speaker 3: life is getting a little bit question mark here and there.
Speaker 4: Do you girls?
Speaker 6: Do you ever lay down your outfits like little flat
Speaker 6: people on the bed the night before. I've been doing that,
Speaker 6: putting the pants down in the shirt and little hat
Speaker 6: sideways on the bed. Then I get into bed and
Speaker 6: I lay under the clothes. I'm not kidding. This all
Speaker 6: sounds like a joke, but I've been doing that, and
Speaker 6: I wake up and immediately.
Speaker 4: Put them on.
Speaker 6: I don't want to see myself naked, Yeah, immediately.
Speaker 5: I wish the clothes just could seep right through you
Speaker 5: when you needed to put them on in the morning
Speaker 5: because they're already on top of you.
Speaker 4: You know, yeah, don't.
Speaker 6: Don't you have a bit about why do we put
Speaker 6: clothes on dead people at funerals?
Speaker 4: Why aren't they naked? That's you, didn't.
Speaker 5: You, Chris? You're just projecting. No, that is someone. That
Speaker 5: is someone else. But I want to hear this bit
Speaker 5: because are you sure that that's pretty funny? Yeah? No, sure, No.
Speaker 5: Strangely enough, I've only been to like two funerals so
Speaker 5: and they were closed, they were clothes. But that is
Speaker 5: a good point.
Speaker 4: I swear it was you.
Speaker 6: And if you're saying it wasn't you, but you're talking
Speaker 6: about the fashion and the construct of dressing someone up
Speaker 6: based on what we think.
Speaker 4: In their open casket, I swear.
Speaker 3: Don't you think like, along with grief, nudity would add
Speaker 3: a cringe element to what you're already grieving. I think
Speaker 3: that would be one feeling too many. I mean not
Speaker 3: to argue with this person. No, it that you're doing
Speaker 3: their bits.
Speaker 6: We don't need to see our dead uncle's janitals.
Speaker 5: Noah, yes, because I'm like you always have someone like
Speaker 5: I don't have a real life example. So I'm going
Speaker 5: to use snow White prince.
Speaker 4: Sure, sure, good example.
Speaker 5: Snow White's boyfriend, right, who who was like I had
Speaker 5: no problem kissing a dead body because I'm assuming he
Speaker 5: was like, well at least it's hot. I don't know,
Speaker 5: you know what.
Speaker 6: I mean, You're right, it's weird that he kissed her
Speaker 6: back to life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because he kissed a dead lady.
Speaker 5: She was dead and he probably was like, well, good things,
Speaker 5: she's pretty. I'll still do that.
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's a neckro he is.
Speaker 5: He was ackro is the sleeping beauty prince because she
Speaker 5: was also unconscious.
Speaker 4: Yeah. I always confused.
Speaker 6: I confuse that prince with the foot fetish guy that
Speaker 6: wants to put slippers on everyone his boyfriend.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, these guys are out there.
Speaker 5: With so like for the purposes of men like that
Speaker 5: that might show up at someone's wedding, I mean wedding, funeral,
Speaker 5: funeral where you know someone is naked and they're just
Speaker 5: somehow focused on the genitals. You know, it's probably that's
Speaker 5: why you close them.
Speaker 3: But yes, there's a there's a there's an element to
Speaker 3: the audience there you cannot trust, right right, right? That
Speaker 3: would be And also what if you like, you know,
Speaker 3: you died suddenly yourself you're surprised by the fact that
Speaker 3: it happened to you, and then they lay you out naked,
Speaker 3: like you know, if I didn't know and I wasn't prepared,
Speaker 3: and then this is kind of like the last humiliation
Speaker 3: before I go.
Speaker 4: And you still have that surprised look on your face.
Speaker 5: But life, yeah, but but your eyebrows are drawn in.
Speaker 1: A little too much blush and a total shotgun.
Speaker 5: And like a pencil skirt because that's what the person chose.
Speaker 5: You know, I think she would have made a nice
Speaker 5: admin lady. You know, comedian gave me a break? Can
Speaker 5: this face.
Speaker 3: That's happened with when my grandma died, they put a
Speaker 3: lot of makeup on her, not that she wouldn't wear
Speaker 3: a little bit of lipstick, but there was a lot
Speaker 3: of blush and there was just and there was a
Speaker 3: little blue eyeshadow where we're like but like it's it
Speaker 3: suddenly makes you realize, like she was in other people's
Speaker 3: hands before this this funeral took place, you know where
Speaker 3: It's like she sure was dressed up, she sure was
Speaker 3: made up for this.
Speaker 5: Someone who had no memories with her, like right, who
Speaker 5: you know who never hung out, doesn't even know her
Speaker 5: favorite food, right, It's like I think she she looks
Speaker 5: great for prom ellist. Yeah, yeah, blue eye shadow.
Speaker 3: Blue eye shadows a strong choice. Yeah, for almost the majority,
Speaker 3: I would say of the population. That's that's something you
Speaker 3: can just make the quick phone call to the family.
Speaker 6: I did my niece's eyeshadow for the holidays, and I
Speaker 6: did a good job.
Speaker 5: Is it something you've done before?
Speaker 4: Never?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I just watched a video and I went dark
Speaker 6: from the outer edge kind of gradient to light in,
Speaker 6: and then right at the middle of the upper eyelid,
Speaker 6: I put some glittery shimmer stuff and it looked just
Speaker 6: like from a video.
Speaker 4: It looked like her idea or it was her idea. Yes,
Speaker 4: I didn't.
Speaker 6: I didn't get I was like, I don't want to
Speaker 6: do that, and then all of a sudden, I did
Speaker 6: want to do it, and man, did I nail it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that's awesome. I just had an idea for you
Speaker 5: if you are you know, for all of us from Chris,
Speaker 5: because you lay out your outfits on your you know,
Speaker 5: we just do that if we feel like we might die.
Speaker 5: I don't know, of course, you can't predict, but you know,
Speaker 5: you go oh, this is what he laid out for
Speaker 5: when he is in the cat right.
Speaker 6: Nice, It's for family, live every day as if it
Speaker 6: were your last, I always say, And that starts with
Speaker 6: the outfit.
Speaker 1: Your last outfit, right.
Speaker 6: Right, So I just start wearing a black tuxedo with
Speaker 6: a black top hat. I just yeah, this I picked
Speaker 6: up right in the end, all right, put me on display,
Speaker 6: waist up.
Speaker 3: Though I don't know if it was like I don't
Speaker 3: know if someone's bit or it was just someone like
Speaker 3: a Twitter observation. But someone's talking about like when you die.
Speaker 3: It seems like, based on movies that the outfit you
Speaker 3: die in is the outfit that you're in for eternity,
Speaker 3: which is a soup. It's like a bummer if like
Speaker 3: I literally wear basically a long sleeved black shirt and
Speaker 3: some version of black kind of wetpants every day, right,
Speaker 3: So I'm covered because I will never But if you're
Speaker 3: if you have to get dressed up and you're like,
Speaker 3: I'm gonna wear this weird, uncomfortable dress, right, and that's
Speaker 3: when you get hit by a bus. So then you're
Speaker 3: in the weird, uncomfortable dress the rest of your life for.
Speaker 4: All four seasons.
Speaker 1: Yea, every year, every haunting.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's true. That's what the movie Coco. Now everything,
Speaker 5: I'm twelve, everything reference is I only watch animated stuff.
Speaker 5: So what I was gonna say is that's what the
Speaker 5: movie Coco shows you is in the afterlife, the person
Speaker 5: is still wearing the same outfit. Yeah, same hair style. Yeah. Yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 5: Your movie was beautiful. It was beautiful. Yeah, you're like skeleton.
Speaker 5: But the way they can, you know, tell it's you
Speaker 5: is it's like, oh, it's Karen because she's wearing all
Speaker 5: black still yeah, and her glass is transferred over to.
Speaker 1: Well yeah, skeleton face.
Speaker 4: No, that's how it is.
Speaker 6: And you know in movie, which is all I have
Speaker 6: to base it on, like, uh, you know, what's the
Speaker 6: one where he dies jogging and then he's in his
Speaker 6: jogging outfit and heaven, uh not defending your life, but
Speaker 6: the other one with Warren Beatty, he's dressed like a jogger,
Speaker 6: the whole Heaven can wait, Heaven can wait, can't.
Speaker 5: Thank you guys. Yeah, I knew if it's not animated. Again,
Speaker 5: I don't I checked out. When you said warm Bitty,
Speaker 5: I was like, I don't think it was a cartoon.
Speaker 6: Well, he was Dick Bracy. That was a car that
Speaker 6: was pretty animated.
Speaker 5: I mean, that's true.
Speaker 4: It's as close as you can get to a live
Speaker 4: action cartoon.
Speaker 6: Right, you got the guy with a flat top whose
Speaker 6: head is actually flat on top.
Speaker 5: Can I tell you something that I found out really
Speaker 5: quick since we been on funerals during the pandemic. You know,
Speaker 5: I don't know about you, but I was looking through
Speaker 5: a lot of old family photos. I feel like we
Speaker 5: all did that a lot. Yeah, you just you just
Speaker 5: get nostalgic and you know. And then I came across
Speaker 5: my great grandma's funeral. I think it's it's the whole
Speaker 5: like why people need to it's big on presentation with funerals,
Speaker 5: and like what you what other people think of the
Speaker 5: thing is so important to people, which is so weird.
Speaker 5: But I realized I didn't recognize anyone in my great
Speaker 5: grandma's funerals pictures. So I asked my grandma about it,
Speaker 5: and she was and she admitted that I don't recognize
Speaker 5: any of them because she had hired uh mourners to
Speaker 5: mourn from my great grandma. So every one of the
Speaker 5: pictures were actors that what the family hired because My
Speaker 5: great grandma was a mean lady. She was very mean.
Speaker 5: Like I asked her, uh for ice cream one time,
Speaker 5: and she got me a whole tub of it.
Speaker 4: And maybe you know you're supposed to do that with
Speaker 4: cigarettes not smoke. Was she trying to make you not
Speaker 4: eat ice cream?
Speaker 5: I don't know what. I was too scared to ask.
Speaker 4: That's so mean. I'm so sorry. It's horrifying.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it feels like it's like Sybil. There's a movie
Speaker 5: called Sybil. M Yeah, it's I mean, it's pretty. That
Speaker 5: one's intense though too. That was torture more Matilda. Maybe
Speaker 5: it's more like Matilda.
Speaker 3: Where it's just uncomfortable and like negative vibes.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I still kid friendly storytelling's.
Speaker 6: I've never Karen, have you heard, I've never heard of
Speaker 6: someone hiring mourners for a funeral, unless it's like, uh,
Speaker 6: we need this to look like the most banging funeral ever.
Speaker 3: Well, that's an old I mean, in different cultures people
Speaker 3: do it for different reasons. But there is a there's
Speaker 3: a thing I read about now. I can't remember if
Speaker 3: this is uh, I can't remember what culture was from,
Speaker 3: But there are women who come and cry and scream
Speaker 3: at funerals to be because and maybe it's like I'm
Speaker 3: thinking Irish for sure, because it's such a repressed culture,
Speaker 3: but other ones as well, where it's sometimes so hard
Speaker 3: for people like to cry or whatever, so when there's
Speaker 3: people there doing it, it kind of lets everybody get
Speaker 3: it out.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 1: I have definitely heard of that.
Speaker 6: That's almost like a therapeutic, almost good thing. That being said, though,
Speaker 6: I think every paid studio audience I've ever worked with
Speaker 6: actually usually did that job. Yes, laughing was not sternly
Speaker 6: staring and aggressively judging the warm up comic.
Speaker 4: It seems like they're better at that.
Speaker 1: That seems with those professional mourners.
Speaker 3: It was almost like so that there was a nice crowd,
Speaker 3: like a bit a large sized crowd.
Speaker 5: It was kind of, I guess for like family dignity,
Speaker 5: and also because she had burnt a lot of bridges
Speaker 5: with people so no one was gonna come. And also
Speaker 5: something about the Taiwanese culture, something about I don't know
Speaker 5: if it's Taoism, but letting the heavens hear the crying
Speaker 5: will ensure some kind of like better crossover something like that.
Speaker 5: There was that too, Yeah, yeah, all of that, but
Speaker 5: I was a god, like what a lonely death too,
Speaker 5: so that she could feel with you know. The few
Speaker 5: family that did show up, like great Grandma did have friends.
Speaker 3: You know, even if they were paid, they and then
Speaker 3: someone shooked up.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's so interesting to me. I like my my
Speaker 6: friend Lugadar growing up. He was from Lebanon, and his
Speaker 6: dad lived sometimes in my small town in Montana, but
Speaker 6: he was often still in Lebanon. And when he passed,
Speaker 6: I think he was not in America and we didn't
Speaker 6: know much about him. When I was a kid, Lou
Speaker 6: would say like, oh, I've been in a Lamborghini and
Speaker 6: the other guys were shooting guns out of the top
Speaker 6: of the Lamborghini. And I'm like, stop telling insane stories.
Speaker 6: And he'd say, I have a big, fancy house where
Speaker 6: I was born, and I'm like, oh, stop it. And
Speaker 6: then when his dad passed, there was the funeral was
Speaker 6: in the streets and the entire thousands of people were
Speaker 6: carrying his casket like like crowdsurfing at a at the
Speaker 6: most punk.
Speaker 4: Rock show ever.
Speaker 6: And he was like, yeah, look and that in that
Speaker 6: moment when I saw in the paper he had the
Speaker 6: paper from Lebanon, he showed me and I was like, oh,
Speaker 6: everything you told me about exotic cars and having a
Speaker 6: house and Oozzi's was true.
Speaker 4: He's the sweetest kid ever.
Speaker 6: He grew up in America, but he had still has
Speaker 6: these childhood memories of that, and that was maybe customary
Speaker 6: to be like, I don't someone's like, oh, they have
Speaker 6: to be shown as the most known person ever.
Speaker 4: I don't even know what he did.
Speaker 6: I really don't know much about, but it was staggering
Speaker 6: to see that.
Speaker 3: I guess, well, if you I've been to funerals that
Speaker 3: are small, and it makes a sad, sad occasion even sadder. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because when you're in a big old church that can
Speaker 3: hold five hundred people and it's two rows at the
Speaker 3: front and that's it, it is sad. It's heavy and
Speaker 3: like it makes perfect sense that it's just like fill
Speaker 3: this up. Make it feel like even if you know
Speaker 3: the truth. But even then, there's a bunch of people
Speaker 3: here and it's we're actually commemorating something.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I my mom's was, and oddly let's go. It
Speaker 6: seems like we're talking about bummer stuff. But all the stuff,
Speaker 6: I don't think we're bumming anyone out.
Speaker 4: I just want. And if you feel bummed out right now, snap.
Speaker 6: Out of it, because this shit's hilarious.
Speaker 5: Culture.
Speaker 1: We're talking about things we kind of know about, right.
Speaker 6: This was This was the night five years ago where
Speaker 6: I was performing in a cold ass comedy club and
Speaker 6: in between shows, my sister sent me that text and
Speaker 6: said mom just died. And then I my name got
Speaker 6: called and I got on stage and then felt guilty
Speaker 6: because I had a really fun set. This is the
Speaker 6: night that happened, because you know, Facebook reminds you of
Speaker 6: every tragic thing that but anyway.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's how her funeral was.
Speaker 6: But then it was sweet because everyone that was there
Speaker 6: really knew her, and that all the people that were
Speaker 6: supposed to not all of them, but it was mostly
Speaker 6: important people that were there.
Speaker 4: But yeah, at first glance, it's.
Speaker 6: Like, what a bummer this Like wouldn't even be enough
Speaker 6: people for a successful dinner party? Yeah, yeah, but man
Speaker 6: there was. It was pretty fun and man we killed
Speaker 6: it at that, you know, like Karen, you said, You've
Speaker 6: never been funnier than at your mom's memorial.
Speaker 1: I destroyed it.
Speaker 4: My Yeah, I would never understand up that well.
Speaker 3: Amazing, and I didn't really mean to because I was like,
Speaker 3: this is the kind of thing that like, it would
Speaker 3: be so me to take advantage of this moment to
Speaker 3: do stand up, like you don't want to be a.
Speaker 1: Gross stand up your whole life.
Speaker 3: But there were certain things that I knew as my
Speaker 3: mother's daughter, I had to say. For example, like as
Speaker 3: I was like, the one thing my mother would want
Speaker 3: you all to know right now is how much she
Speaker 3: hated Ronald Reagan, and an full of people exploded, and
Speaker 3: it was that kind of thing where it wasn't I
Speaker 3: wasn't trying to be funny, but I was like, she
Speaker 3: needs this is what she would want.
Speaker 1: And so of course then that turned out to be really.
Speaker 6: Of course, and it's okay to be I mean, that's
Speaker 6: how all three of us, I'm sure, deal with greed
Speaker 6: for traumas that it's time to be funny. That's how
Speaker 6: you get out of all uncomfortable situations, right, Yeah, it's.
Speaker 5: The perfect setting. Actually, I forgot.
Speaker 6: That Reagan bit would have worked at my mom's too.
Speaker 6: I wish I had talked to you before my mom's.
Speaker 5: Partly if I said it at my relatives anything, it
Speaker 5: would sound like I stole it from two very different
Speaker 5: people than me.
Speaker 6: You all know how much she hated Ronald Reagan, the
Speaker 6: American president from the eighties. So what an interesting curious
Speaker 6: I didn't know when when did you move from Japan?
Speaker 5: I came here when I was ten. Oh okay, when
Speaker 5: was that Clinton days?
Speaker 3: If we're yeah, what a wonderful time that when we
Speaker 3: were all living off the fat of the land and
Speaker 3: it all seemed so like it was going to be
Speaker 3: great forever.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I have a piece of paper signed by Bill Clinton
Speaker 5: because I was like part of a gifted program or something.
Speaker 5: I got put in a gifted program. I thought I
Speaker 5: was so special, and then I found out we all
Speaker 5: got one gifted program at school Kotska, and I was like,
Speaker 5: who's that? Oh my god, that's the president, you know,
Speaker 5: Bill Whinton. That's his signature.
Speaker 4: Wow.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just the kind of class we were put in.
Speaker 6: Did you already speak English when you were ten, like
Speaker 6: when you moved here with your grandma and your grandma
Speaker 6: and mom came with you, right.
Speaker 5: Mm hmm, Yeah I didn't. I didn't speak it. It's
Speaker 5: a but you learn so fast, honestly, as a kid.
Speaker 3: My sister is a teacher and she has kids who
Speaker 3: come in She's a grammar school teacher and she has
Speaker 3: kids who come in who English is the second language,
Speaker 3: and she loves to talk about how quickly, like how
Speaker 3: mind blowingly quickly they learn English and from each other too,
Speaker 3: like they help each other.
Speaker 1: So by the you know, when.
Speaker 3: They come in in first grade, they speak no English
Speaker 3: and by the end they don't even have an accent.
Speaker 3: By the end, it takes them like a year.
Speaker 5: Ysually, It's so wild. Yeah, I'm trying to think if
Speaker 5: other classmates helped too. Yeah, I mean there were other
Speaker 5: immigrants in the class as well, and and TV shows
Speaker 5: and you know survival, which there's a there's a need
Speaker 5: for to survive, which is just making friends, you know,
Speaker 5: trying to talk to your crush, like you really will
Speaker 5: jump over wild things, you know, to make it happen.
Speaker 1: Yeah, to connect.
Speaker 5: I feel like, I'm sure you all picked up skills
Speaker 5: to impress somebody, like as a kid, and you learned
Speaker 5: it fast.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, that's comedy right there.
Speaker 3: It's like I learned how to do impressions of people
Speaker 3: I saw on TV so that I could then go
Speaker 3: and do it on the playground and stand out. Because
Speaker 3: other than that, I was just kind of like one
Speaker 3: of one of many, but it's like, here's.
Speaker 1: How I'm going to do it.
Speaker 3: I'm going to get up on the bench and do
Speaker 3: impressions of the people on Facts of Life and you know,
Speaker 3: rise above.
Speaker 5: And the kids were receptive and they were like, that
Speaker 5: is that person that was good? Karen?
Speaker 3: Well, yes, except for sadly, and I did get in
Speaker 3: trouble for this one of the first impressions I did
Speaker 3: on I think You're too young for this. But the
Speaker 3: show Facts of Life, which was all the girls that
Speaker 3: started of all of them in like boarding school together
Speaker 3: and then later on they lived together and whatever. But
Speaker 3: one of them, Blair, had a cousin named Jerry, and
Speaker 3: Jerry had cerebral palsy, and so there was a series
Speaker 3: of special episodes where Jerry and Jerry in real life.
Speaker 3: The woman who Jerry Jewel was a comic and her
Speaker 3: comedy she would she would do things like I'm not drunk,
Speaker 3: I have cerebral palsy, and it was she was one
Speaker 3: of those people that's like, I have cerebral palsy, but
Speaker 3: I'm still you know, I'm still in here. This is
Speaker 3: I'm an individual. This is the person that I am
Speaker 3: so I would do impressions of Jerry from Facts of Life,
Speaker 3: which is basically me doing an impression of somebody with
Speaker 3: cerebral palsy. So the first time I did it, people
Speaker 3: were really blown out that it was really accurate. But
Speaker 3: you know, about fifteen seconds into the imp Russian the
Speaker 3: yard duty woman yanked me off that bench and was like,
Speaker 3: I got sent to the office for doing it because
Speaker 3: to her, she wasn't a fan of the show, and
Speaker 3: it just looked like I was making fun of.
Speaker 4: It right right, And you were like, why are you
Speaker 4: pulling me off stage?
Speaker 3: I'm killing Excuse me, this is I'm just doing an
Speaker 3: impression of the show I saw last night.
Speaker 1: It wasn't myke.
Speaker 4: Have either of you seen this.
Speaker 6: It's been passed around a little bit this week, this
Speaker 6: comic with Tourette's that where and Tourette's is what. It's
Speaker 6: so uncommon that you don't believe it's what people think
Speaker 6: it is. But he's just doing stand up and it says,
Speaker 6: fuck shit, son of a bitch, and you, I'm like,
Speaker 6: this is going to be a gimmick. I'm not, and
Speaker 6: you can tell right away it is something that he
Speaker 6: has no control over and it was such an interesting
Speaker 6: way to watch a comic be quick on their feet
Speaker 6: because he's almost his own heckler in a way where
Speaker 6: he it would come out of his mouth and they'd
Speaker 6: be like, what if that's what I said on the
Speaker 6: phone or whatever, because he would like doing a joke
Speaker 6: about being on the phone and he's like, fuck shit out.
Speaker 4: He's like, I didn't say that, but what have I had?
Speaker 6: He was really funny, and you could tell the audience
Speaker 6: was kind of in all the clips someone put together
Speaker 6: a montage. He's so great. I wish I knew his
Speaker 6: name right now. It's funny to be but find the
Speaker 6: comic with Thurettes online I will and see how it's
Speaker 6: really important what he's doing, because that normally would make
Speaker 6: an audience feel uncomfortable or something you would think, and
Speaker 6: they it was.
Speaker 4: It was really cool to watch.
Speaker 2: Well.
Speaker 3: It's also he probably he needed to develop that sense
Speaker 3: of humor to be able to say this is something
Speaker 3: I live with, but don't judge me for it, or
Speaker 3: let me also be here as an individual. It's the
Speaker 3: same thing Jerry Jewel was doing where it's just like, right,
Speaker 3: you're going to have your reaction because this isn't day
Speaker 3: to day for you, but let me make you comfortable
Speaker 3: with the fact that this is day to day for me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, it's.
Speaker 5: Like kind of perfect stand up comedy is what his
Speaker 5: craft is. It's it's perfect. Like you said, he's his
Speaker 5: own heckler, so he can be fast on his feet
Speaker 5: right after. That's that's really amazing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, thank you for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I wish we knew his name.
Speaker 6: We'll all find it afterwards and then I'll kick myself
Speaker 6: through the evening.
Speaker 5: I'll just try my hand at the best Google search
Speaker 5: words I could try for this, you know, hopefully it
Speaker 5: doesn't get too wild.
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, you gotta be careful what you type in there. Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a sam Come come row. I was thinking
Speaker 5: about him, but I don't know if he actually cusses
Speaker 5: in part of a sorry Yeah, analyst just said Samuel
Speaker 5: Conroe and he does. He's he's really funny and he
Speaker 5: does have Tourette's, but I don't know if he curses.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: In what I saw, it was like, oh my, just
Speaker 6: every time it's what you think, shit, fuck motherfucker, like
Speaker 6: the word Oh okay.
Speaker 5: It might be someone else, but him and Drew Lynch
Speaker 5: had a show together.
Speaker 4: Oh you're kidding.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it has Drew Lynch, who does stand up with
Speaker 6: a very active stutter. But and then sometimes it's not there, right,
Speaker 6: you know, like you have good days and dad days.
Speaker 6: But I think that that kid's kid, don't. He's a
Speaker 6: grown man. But he's younger than me, so he's a kid.
Speaker 6: He's hilarious.
Speaker 4: I like him.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Yeah, So they were doing this thing where it's
Speaker 5: like I have duretts and he has a stutter, and look,
Speaker 5: you're going to see both of us like follow each
Speaker 5: other on a headlining you know.
Speaker 4: Bill, Oh you dealt with the when you did?
Speaker 6: You did stand up at the Ice House and there's
Speaker 6: an earthquake and you didn't even know there's an earthquake happening.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, yeah, holy shit.
Speaker 4: That was amazing.
Speaker 6: You're like, why is everyone yelling it was because you
Speaker 6: can't really tell in the video it's shaking a little,
Speaker 6: but there it was the longest earthquake ever And you're
Speaker 6: like riffing, wait what we do?
Speaker 1: What? Like what happened?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 5: I was going up on stage, you know, like that's
Speaker 5: always when it happens, right, Like of course your mom
Speaker 5: passes and you find.
Speaker 4: Out then yeah, yeah, of course I was.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I just got called up. So I was coming
Speaker 5: up and then that's when the earthquake hit. But I
Speaker 5: didn't know because I was dance. I dance up on
Speaker 5: stage sometimes and I was doing that. So and apparently
Speaker 5: when you're in motion during an earthquake, you don't feel it, of.
Speaker 4: Course, not yeah or driving. Yeah, you wouldn't. You would
Speaker 4: be the last person in that room to feel it.
Speaker 5: I don't think I knew science like that, Like, I didn't.
Speaker 5: I didn't know. I was like, oh, it makes sense.
Speaker 5: I guess it's when you're still that you feel the environment,
Speaker 5: you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: And so so I was dancing and then everyone was
Speaker 5: screaming like ah, and I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 5: I thought they were screaming like for my dancing, for
Speaker 5: for me, you know, But then I realized they were
Speaker 5: screams of terror.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and people were like earthquake, earth quick and so yeah,
Speaker 8: that's how I got propelled into like having to quickly
Speaker 8: see if everyone's okay.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's what I remember.
Speaker 6: Funny, you immediately as I recall where like, it's okay,
Speaker 6: so let's not panic. What a weird way to start
Speaker 6: a set. Let's not panic. What do we do?
Speaker 4: I don't know. I went to art school. I just
Speaker 4: remember you saying that.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm not ecrypted for this.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because they don't.
Speaker 6: When I lived in Austin, one time there was a tornado.
Speaker 6: I was watching the news and the tornado. They had
Speaker 6: a triple doppler monitoring this tornado and it was coming
Speaker 6: up I thirty five the freeway I lived on, and
Speaker 6: literally coming off of exits, and it was going along
Speaker 6: the freeway. That's where how it did plant and and not.
Speaker 6: I'm like, I live next to the freeway. So I
Speaker 6: I heard once that you're supposed to get in a bathtub,
Speaker 6: and so I put on a skateboard helmet and I
Speaker 6: got into the.
Speaker 4: Like I possibly the weakest part.
Speaker 6: Of my house. But I just laid there. I didn't
Speaker 6: know what to do. It was and there was a
Speaker 6: lot of time to think about it. So I'm like,
Speaker 6: there's nothing to do. I don't know what you're supposed
Speaker 6: to do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, me neither. Something about maybe getting under things, but
Speaker 5: there's people are like, oh no, that's a myth. You
Speaker 5: shouldn't get under a table or right, you shouldn't run outside. Yeah,
Speaker 5: and it's like COVID, there's always something new.
Speaker 6: Don't play dead in front of a bear, get tall
Speaker 6: and yell at it and do karate.
Speaker 4: It's like, what do I do?
Speaker 6: I do this or the entire opposite, How do I
Speaker 6: fight a grizzly bear?
Speaker 4: Somebody tell me? Well?
Speaker 3: And also inside a comedy club, so it's you're in
Speaker 3: a house where you've been We've all heard, oh if
Speaker 3: you're getting a doorway or something like that, but you're
Speaker 3: on stage and there's a bunch of like four top
Speaker 3: tables around you, like what is the safest thing for
Speaker 3: and then you're in like it's crowd control. So wait, sorry,
Speaker 3: well you have a story a little more because like
Speaker 3: then the the earthquake dies down, and then you have
Speaker 3: to like basically get a panicked audience back.
Speaker 5: Yeah, they were back. I was able to come back fast.
Speaker 5: It's like, you know, comedy is training for all kinds
Speaker 5: of things, you know, So that was fine. I was
Speaker 5: able to make sure everyone was okay. I called for
Speaker 5: the house manager and then I immediately had a joke
Speaker 5: that just came to me because the day before that
Speaker 5: there happened to be another earthquake. It was like July
Speaker 5: fourth and July fifth, twenty nineteen. It was back to
Speaker 5: back big earthquakes. So I just went into it like
Speaker 5: yesterday there was an earthquake too, you know. And but
Speaker 5: me and my husband were laying in bed. It was
Speaker 5: still morning. Uh when it happened. He rolled over and
Speaker 5: asked if I was masturbating and and what did I say?
Speaker 5: And I promise to God, I really was about to
Speaker 5: or something like that. Something. It was just quick and
Speaker 5: they laughed and then we came back and I was like,
Speaker 5: everyone's okay, It's just it's just a lot to suddenly
Speaker 5: become the person everyone looks to for guidance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's insane.
Speaker 4: Yeah, when you don't even know CPR. It's yeah, because.
Speaker 5: We would be CPR people if we do comedy, because
Speaker 5: when we were not that.
Speaker 3: Whatever you have to do, like you have to do
Speaker 3: an emergency set netwhere it's like, okay, well here's what
Speaker 3: the jokes I'm gonna go to if there's an earthquake,
Speaker 3: and here's if if there's a title way, I'll go
Speaker 3: to this, and then if there's a tornado, I'll do
Speaker 3: this chunk Like that's it's too much work.
Speaker 5: The worst was people started making memes of me doing
Speaker 5: a set and different natural dis Oh really after that? Yeah,
Speaker 5: oh so.
Speaker 4: This thing went full on viral.
Speaker 5: Yeah it's yeah, it was like written up in papers.
Speaker 5: I had like millions of views.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's how I saw it. I thought it was
Speaker 6: a long time ago. It was just a couple of
Speaker 6: years ago. Oh time, what a I know, But it's
Speaker 6: mellble construct.
Speaker 5: It was just funny because yeah, it's like suddenly me,
Speaker 5: you know, during a hurricane, me on a volcano that's
Speaker 5: erupting with a mic and it's like, guys, it was
Speaker 5: really scary. Like I'm glad you find it funny. Also, like,
Speaker 5: you know, I've been doing stand up for a while,
Speaker 5: you know, my stand up it's it's not bad, you know,
Speaker 5: but apparently during an earthquake, that's what it's like. Out
Speaker 5: of this world, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, you gotta get traumatized people.
Speaker 1: You got to get everybody on edge.
Speaker 6: Have you, either of you ever seen these bad Comedy volume.
Speaker 6: It was like a cassette tape that got passed around
Speaker 6: by comics that worked for Rich Miller, who was a
Speaker 6: booker in the Midwest, and they compiled the strangest audition tapes, uh,
Speaker 6: And it was people that just set up a room
Speaker 6: in their house in a lot of cases, or they
Speaker 6: were doing stand up in front of a washer and
Speaker 6: dryer into a hair comb, like here's my audition to
Speaker 6: be a comedian, not knowing that you're supposed to go
Speaker 6: do it for real. But one of the comics was
Speaker 6: a fireman and he did stand up. One of his
Speaker 6: sets was in front of a burning house, like everyone
Speaker 6: he worked with was fighting this fire, and he was
Speaker 6: doing stand up doing fire puns in front of an
Speaker 6: actual actively burning house, like I he had to have
Speaker 6: got And then he's like, these are my sexier jokes
Speaker 6: and he's in bed like he was such a strange man.
Speaker 6: But it's bad volume, bad comedy volumes like one through three.
Speaker 4: I wish I had those tapes.
Speaker 6: Andy Ritchie and Isaac Whitty, these comics that worked for
Speaker 6: a while for Rich Miller had these tapes and it's insane.
Speaker 6: But yeah, watching that.
Speaker 5: That sounds kind of amazing. Actually, I hope everyone in
Speaker 5: the building was. I hope they were fine, But.
Speaker 6: I would like to think it was a practice burn
Speaker 6: and they were just working like it was new firemen
Speaker 6: working on a how like, there's no way he'd be
Speaker 6: like in that moment, like this would be a good
Speaker 6: chance to I'm gonna go ahead and decide that, Yes,
Speaker 6: it was not an actual fire, but it was a
Speaker 6: real house on fire, and it's made whatever he said
Speaker 6: kind of funny. Actually, I'm like, well that was actually
Speaker 6: pretty enjoyable because there was a fire happening.
Speaker 3: Yeah, really good perspective.
Speaker 6: Maybe that's the key to successful stand up. You just
Speaker 6: got to plan and orchestrate a natural disaster.
Speaker 5: It's that it's just that tension. That's why you all
Speaker 5: crushed at the funeral. Yeah, yeah, right, it's that same thing.
Speaker 5: You know, my friend Namdy who's who's on TikTok he uh,
Speaker 5: he did a joyful like he did like a dance
Speaker 5: like a very He got in a car accident and
Speaker 5: he still decided to do a TikTok dance in front
Speaker 5: of the car wreckage and it was really funny because
Speaker 5: of it.
Speaker 4: Wow, and it clearly was right after it it just happened.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So it's like you can see the wreckage right
Speaker 5: behind him and he's just doing a TikTok dance in
Speaker 5: front of it, and the words just pop up like
Speaker 5: just got in a car accident. You know, it's fine though,
Speaker 5: you know, hopefully I can get a new car soon.
Speaker 5: But the music's playing and he's just getting these TikTok
Speaker 5: dances with a straight face, you know.
Speaker 3: Make that content. Got to deliver content, no matter what.
Speaker 4: That's the problem. It's the last thing on my mind.
Speaker 6: Oh I should have been filming that trauma.
Speaker 5: Of course.
Speaker 3: I mean, this has been It's been awesome to get
Speaker 3: to know you even a little bit, because I don't
Speaker 3: really know you at all except for the videos I've
Speaker 3: watched you.
Speaker 1: So it's great to talk to you.
Speaker 5: Yeah. No, this, this, this has been awesome.
Speaker 4: I know.
Speaker 5: Usually it's in a car, and it hasn't been for
Speaker 5: two years.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, So I.
Speaker 5: Was like, oh, you know, like I had heard you
Speaker 5: all talk about cars to try to keep that theme going. Maybe,
Speaker 5: is that right? I feel like you did that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you probably did it with somebody.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 6: I talk about cars sometimes. We try, and now we
Speaker 6: just don't even acknowledge air. We used to go to
Speaker 6: Lax for God's sake and pick people up, like imagine
Speaker 6: now the it wasn't that long ago. When's your flight leave?
Speaker 6: We'll take you to the airport, keep you on your
Speaker 6: flight on time, drive into what is now a long
Speaker 6: line of shared r app cars, and to me it
Speaker 6: seems crazy now that but we still who.
Speaker 1: Knows, we'll get back, Yeah, get back.
Speaker 4: We're going to get back.
Speaker 5: You want to get back to that, You want to
Speaker 5: get back to giving people?
Speaker 6: Yes, and you providing you're flying out a burbank, that's
Speaker 6: the least we could do.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I thought so. I was going to say, like,
Speaker 5: you must be at least secretly a little bit like, still,
Speaker 5: you don't have to be giving people rides anymore.
Speaker 1: Yeah, lax for sure.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but if we get back in the car, it'll
Speaker 3: have to come back, so you can hump that experience
Speaker 3: because it's pretty hilarious. Yeah. It's also funny because if
Speaker 3: you know, we pick people up, so you'd be sitting
Speaker 3: in the back seat and then you're just talking to
Speaker 3: the back of our heads.
Speaker 6: I love this, right, Yeah, which is a secret. Even
Speaker 6: when I was a kid, I'd noticed during conversations it
Speaker 6: was so hard for me to get over the fact,
Speaker 6: especially when I was younger, that you have to stare
Speaker 6: at someone's face and I didn't know whether to look
Speaker 6: them directly in the eyes like a murderer or romantically
Speaker 6: or I sometimes I just look at their ear.
Speaker 4: It's hard to have.
Speaker 6: I don't know if you have ever either of you've
Speaker 6: gotten in your head about conversations and how you're looking
Speaker 6: at someone's face. But what a weight lifted off your
Speaker 6: shoulders when you're just looking at the back of their head.
Speaker 4: That's something we didn't plan for, but it is.
Speaker 6: It makes for the best conversation to talk to someone's
Speaker 6: head hair.
Speaker 1: Yeah, then you're free.
Speaker 5: Yeah, you are more free because it's opposite of zoom,
Speaker 5: where I'm literally reading into your souls. Like I've been
Speaker 5: looking real deep into your eyes. Yeah, for a whole hour.
Speaker 4: Not me.
Speaker 6: I've just been staring at that leave button. Oh come on, I've.
Speaker 5: Been staring at that share screen. I'm like, oh, I
Speaker 5: got more to show these guys.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I've been staring at everybod those videos.
Speaker 4: In the background.
Speaker 5: Yeah yeah, no, no, no, yeah, documents that's.
Speaker 6: So like, yeah, yeah, come on, we shouldn't even be
Speaker 6: talking about this old ship.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I and I could take a hit. This
Speaker 5: is the end of the podcast.
Speaker 4: We have to end it because of time, just because
Speaker 4: of time.
Speaker 5: Should we do some kind of formal thing like to
Speaker 5: call it an end?
Speaker 1: Oh do you want to do you have like a plug?
Speaker 3: Is there anything that you're doing you want to direct
Speaker 3: people to that, you know, like, oh, I don't know
Speaker 3: streaming shows.
Speaker 1: Websites, current tour dates.
Speaker 5: That's so sweet. I was going to be like, oh,
Speaker 5: like maybe it's like a sound we make.
Speaker 4: Oh, we have a little thing, don't you worried? We do?
Speaker 1: We do make a sound as a group. You can
Speaker 1: make it with us, yes, yes, just know at.
Speaker 4: The end of this, if you remember we honked twice.
Speaker 5: Yeah you're here.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, so that'll that'll come up after these
Speaker 6: these sweet sweet tour plugs.
Speaker 4: Unless you've had to cancel shows right right right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, it's just OSCO live dot com. I am
Speaker 5: on tour right now, So there's some shows were postponed,
Speaker 5: but yeah, the website will have the new new dates.
Speaker 1: Yeah, perfect.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Oh and you're in that George Harrison video.
Speaker 5: Oh George Harrison.
Speaker 4: Yeah I watched it.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was like a cameo extra. Yeah.
Speaker 4: I loved it because I like that song you've been
Speaker 4: listening to. Do you Need a Ride? Dyn Aar.
Speaker 7: This has been an exactly Right production produced by Analise Nelson,
Speaker 7: engineered by Stephen Ray Morris, mixed by Ryo boun theme
Speaker 7: song by Karen Kilgarath, artwork by Chris Fairbanks. Follow the
Speaker 7: show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar podcast That's
Speaker 7: d yn ar Podcast.
Speaker 3: For more information, go to exactlyrightmedia dot com.
Speaker 7: Listen, subscribe, leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Stitch
Speaker 7: or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 1: Thank you and you're welcome.
Speaker 5: Bye bye, oh I missed
Speaker 6: Its perfect perfect, It's actually exactly but I know what
Speaker 6: happened