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Speaker 1: My friend always cancels on me last minute, so I

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Speaker 1: ghosted her on her birthday to teach her a lesson. No,

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Speaker 1: you just got to listen. I had a fight with

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Speaker 1: my best friend both twenty female on her birthday and

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Speaker 1: I don't know how to handle it. Also, English is

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Speaker 1: not my first language. My best friend is a great girl, kind,

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Speaker 1: hard working and smart. Unfortunately, she can also be a

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Speaker 1: bit unorganized and impulsive. This means that she's always late

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Speaker 1: to everything and that she sometimes has to cancel plans

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Speaker 1: last minute. By the way, this comes from a gape

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Speaker 1: ornis on the art slashokea Storytime suppared it.

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Speaker 2: So.

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Speaker 1: She is currently living on the other side of the

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Speaker 1: country with her parents. She used to live here and

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Speaker 1: came back for a week to take some exams and

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Speaker 1: celebrate her birthday. She also had to clean and prepare

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Speaker 1: her parents' house in the city for some new tenants,

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Speaker 1: which apparently took a lot of time because the house

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Speaker 1: was a mess. Or her birthday, she decided to hang

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Speaker 1: out in the evening with her other friend group. I

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Speaker 1: know some of them because we used to be friends

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Speaker 1: in the past and go trekking with me. On the

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Speaker 1: next day, we had planning to go trekking together for

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Speaker 1: a while now, and this was the perfect occasion, so

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Speaker 1: I carefully planned our day together, found a good route,

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Speaker 1: et cetera. Keep in mind that I planned this trip

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Speaker 1: a week in advance, while her other friend group only

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Speaker 1: decided what to do in the evening that same day.

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Speaker 1: The evening before the trip, while she was with them,

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Speaker 1: I assume she sends me a text telling me that

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Speaker 1: she doesn't have the right shoes to go trekking, so

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Speaker 1: she can't come.

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Speaker 3: It seems like an easy problem to solve.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what the heck? I try to find a solution

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Speaker 1: and asked her why didn't she tell me before? And

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Speaker 1: she said that even if she had the right shoes,

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Speaker 1: she was too exhausted to come. That really sucks. She

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Speaker 1: tells me she had been cleaning the entire day and

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Speaker 1: was even too tired to hang out that evening, so

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Speaker 1: she wouldn't have made it the next day. If you

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Speaker 1: know you have something, don't exhaust yourself for it.

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Speaker 3: And is she making different plans? Yeah, like if you're exhausted, yeah,

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Speaker 3: don't do something you can't you don't have energy.

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Speaker 1: Sure, you had plans to hang out, so yeah, you.

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Speaker 3: Know ope isn't so attached to trucking eyes, so they

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Speaker 3: just want to hang out with you.

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Speaker 1: I got upset because it's not the first time this happened.

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Speaker 1: She's always canceling plans last minute, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: she favored her other friend group over me, even though

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Speaker 1: I'm supposed to be her best friend and had planned

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Speaker 1: this a week in advance while they decided what to

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Speaker 1: do that same day. My reasoning is that if she

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Speaker 1: was as tired as she said she is, she could

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Speaker 1: have canceled the plans she made with them, or at

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Speaker 1: least avoid going clubbing that evening, so we still could

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Speaker 1: have gone trekking together. I feel like she decided to

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Speaker 1: cancel plans with me instead because we're closer and she

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Speaker 1: thought I would have been more understanding. I was about

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Speaker 1: to say that sometimes when you have really really close friendships,

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Speaker 1: there is yeah, yeah, and which is not fair. You

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Speaker 1: got to make sure that you're still being considerate of

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Speaker 1: those friends. The point is that I'm tired of being understanding,

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Speaker 1: tired of organizing stuff with her knowing that she'll ditch me,

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Speaker 1: tired of waiting for her every time we hang out,

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Speaker 1: tired of having to accommodate her in so many ways.

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Speaker 1: One example is that since she's scared of walking home

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Speaker 1: alone at night, we can basically only hang out near

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Speaker 1: her house, which means I have to take a forty

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Speaker 1: five minute trip from mine house to hers every time

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Speaker 1: because she can't meet me halfway.

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Speaker 3: It's a long trip.

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Speaker 1: Well, he's putting a lot into this front trip, doesn't

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Speaker 1: seem really she's being that halfway. I decided to ghost

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Speaker 1: her text because I had plans to go clubbing that evening,

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Speaker 1: and I knew that if I answered her, we would

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Speaker 1: have fought and both our evenings would have been ruined.

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Speaker 1: So it seems less like OP is doing it out

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Speaker 1: of spite. The ghosting is just like I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be mad at her, and it's her birthday, so I

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Speaker 1: just don't want to talk. But still I still think

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Speaker 1: you should talk. I think you should communicate when you're.

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Speaker 3: Want to say. The silence is louder than anywhere. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and so you're gonna ruin both your evenings anywhere if

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Speaker 3: you're not gonna respond, And she's obviously going to be

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Speaker 3: thinking about it.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely, and so yeah, when I came home around five am,

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Speaker 1: I decided not to set the alarm to wake up

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Speaker 1: early and go trekking, but instead I slept till noon,

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Speaker 1: and I woke up to her angry messages saying she

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Speaker 1: can't believe I was ghosting her, and she got a

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Speaker 1: fever that morning, so she wasn't lying about how tired

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Speaker 1: she was. I explained to her that I was disappointed

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Speaker 1: in her behavior and that it wasn't fair for her

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Speaker 1: to change the plans. That late in the evening, I

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Speaker 1: also told her I thought it was best for us

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Speaker 1: not to see each other.

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Speaker 4: That day.

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Speaker 1: We started fighting and we haven't stopped since. Her reasoning

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Speaker 1: is that it wasn't her fault. She had so much

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Speaker 1: work to do that she canceled the plans at the

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Speaker 1: very last minute because she really wanted to come, which

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Speaker 1: doesn't make sense to me, because if she really wanted

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Speaker 1: to come, she would have found some shoes at least,

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Speaker 1: and that we could have spent the day together anyway,

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Speaker 1: not really, because she had a feed. She also said

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Speaker 1: that she didn't think the solution was to cancel the

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Speaker 1: plans with others, and that she was expecting me to

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Speaker 1: be more understanding, which is what OPE was saying. Instead

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Speaker 1: of avoiding her on her birthday and not answering her texts.

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Speaker 1: My reasoning is that I put time and effort into

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Speaker 1: the planning, and that if she really cared as much

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Speaker 1: as she said, she would have canceled the plans with

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Speaker 1: them and not with me, or at least she would

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Speaker 1: have told me earlier and not the evening before. In

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Speaker 1: the end, I told her that if she thinks that

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Speaker 1: what she did was right and doesn't regret her decision,

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Speaker 1: she had to admit it and accept the consequences of that,

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Speaker 1: including that I might get mad at her, instead of

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Speaker 1: constantly repeating it was not her fault and always blaming

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Speaker 1: the circumstances. Hasn't responded to me since, but you can

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Speaker 1: respond to us every day in the chat by joining

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Speaker 1: us live every weekday at three PMPSD on YouTube. Just

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Speaker 1: tap her pot and there is a little bit more.

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Speaker 3: What say you, Alex, I got some things to say, Sam,

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Speaker 3: you have some things. I've got some things true to

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Speaker 3: say them together. What op seems to be upset about? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: is the relationship? Yes, not this one serpent.

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Speaker 1: No, it seems like it's a common occurrence and that's

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Speaker 1: why she's upset.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, that makes sense that you feel that you're

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Speaker 3: putting a lot into your relationship, into your friendship, and

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Speaker 3: your friend isn't putting back what you're putting in. Totally

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Speaker 3: makes sense that you feel hurt, but.

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Speaker 1: It seems like the friend is believes that OPI is

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Speaker 1: just focusing.

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Speaker 3: On this one instance because op Is has only said, oh,

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Speaker 3: it is only mentioned it's about this, yes, and so

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Speaker 3: I understand why Opie is hurt. However, she's not communicating

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Speaker 3: what is really true for her. And also on OPI's

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Speaker 3: friends side, it's her birthday.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: And so if you're gonna get mad at someone for

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Speaker 3: a continuous relationship dynamic and then you do it on

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Speaker 3: their birthday, yeah, Like it's just not the right time

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Speaker 3: and place. It's not going to lead to a better friendship.

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Speaker 1: I think that if this is truly your best friend,

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Speaker 1: then you need to have a say like, hey, you know,

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Speaker 1: I know you're sick right now, let's talk about this

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Speaker 1: another time, because we should talk about it and just

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Speaker 1: leave it at that. You don't have to talk about

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Speaker 1: it that day, but and you can still express your

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Speaker 1: you know you're upset, but just say like, let's do

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Speaker 1: this when you're feeling better and when we're able to

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Speaker 1: have a conversation, and then I think the conversation needs

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Speaker 1: to be Hey, you have not been valuing my time

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Speaker 1: and it's hurting my feelings. I spent time planning an

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Speaker 1: event and then you canceled on me. And I know

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Speaker 1: you were tired and you had a fever. But this

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Speaker 1: is not just this time. This is a pattern of

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Speaker 1: behavior that I've noticed.

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Speaker 3: And another way to maybe even like lessen the blow

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Speaker 3: and not be a little less blaming could be like,

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Speaker 3: I feel unmantioned our friendship. I'm feeling like when you

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Speaker 3: cancel and like it's happened a couple of times. I

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Speaker 3: feel disrespected, I feel a little taken advantage of. And

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Speaker 3: I want to have a better friendship. Yes, I want

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Speaker 3: to feel closer. I don't want to feel.

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Speaker 1: This rexactly exactly, but there's a little bit more. I

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Speaker 1: really love her, but I don't know how long I'll

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Speaker 1: be able to stay friends with her because many of

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Speaker 1: her behaviors are usually a deal breaker with me. On

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Speaker 1: the other hand, maybe she's right and I could be

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Speaker 1: over reacting. I tend to do that sometimes. I don't

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Speaker 1: know how to handle the situation and how to save

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Speaker 1: this relationship. Should I apologize just to keep the peace,

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Speaker 1: or should I stand my ground and make her understand

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Speaker 1: that I can't have a friendship with someone who doesn't

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Speaker 1: value me or my time. And what if she doesn't apologize?

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Speaker 1: Should I give up on this friendship or should I

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Speaker 1: be more understanding and change my views? And that is

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Speaker 1: the end of that story.

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Speaker 3: Eleana says she reminds me of my best friend before EMDR.

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Speaker 3: EMDR is eye movement, Helen, if you get help me

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Speaker 3: with a DR. But it's essentially it's a trauma modality,

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Speaker 3: the process trauma using movement of the eye. Apparently it's

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Speaker 3: very successful.

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Speaker 1: Eleana Vade's is she's slighted me so many times and

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Speaker 1: at zero self awareness. But we were also codependent. It

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Speaker 1: was toxic until.

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Speaker 5: She got help.

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Speaker 3: Bye, you got help.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, But I think that nothing is going to change

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Speaker 1: unless you are just completely transparent about your fear and

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Speaker 1: if you don't want to be, then that would be

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Speaker 1: the end of the relationship.

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Speaker 3: And kind of what I was saying earlier, like there's

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Speaker 3: so many ways to just express hurt instead of making

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Speaker 3: it like the blame thing, to express the deeper why

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Speaker 3: under it of like I want to have a great

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Speaker 3: relationship with you. I care for you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I doe.

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Speaker 3: I'm my best friend, and it's hard to feel close

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Speaker 3: to you when these things keep happening and I keep

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Speaker 3: feeling disrespect exactly I movement, desensitization and reprocessing. Thank you,

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Speaker 3: nurse Intriguing.

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Speaker 6: I just found out I have an STI my husband

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Speaker 6: insists he didn't cheat on me.

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Speaker 4: Then where'd you get it?

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Speaker 6: Then we're gonna find out. My partner and I have

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Speaker 6: been married nine years and together ten, so I've felt

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Speaker 6: my partner has been cheating for a while. My feelings

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Speaker 6: became more valid when I found out I had syphilis.

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Speaker 4: Oh not not that one. I don't know how bad

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Speaker 4: thews are, but that one sounds bad.

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Speaker 6: Syphilis is not a fun. One of the fun STIs.

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Speaker 6: I don't think we could count syphilis syphilis.

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Speaker 4: Where do you put Gonoreea on this? Uh?

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Speaker 5: Gone?

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Speaker 6: A rhea is pretty fun. By the way, this comes

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Speaker 6: from u slash what do you think? Sixty seven on

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Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime Separreddit. So here's how it happened.

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Speaker 6: I went into the doctor for uti pain pressure. All

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Speaker 6: that I tried all the home remedies and nothing was helping.

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Speaker 6: Oh no, I already thought this was strange because I

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Speaker 6: haven't had a UTI for eight plus years. Anyway, I

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Speaker 6: told my partner I wanted to go into the dock

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Speaker 6: for meds because it just wasn't getting better. My partner

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Speaker 6: was against me going in and kept telling me it

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Speaker 6: would go away. Finally, after four more days of pain,

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Speaker 6: I finally just said I'm going in.

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Speaker 4: I would have gone day one. Yeah of pain, Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 6: Maybe she's there's a stigma around UTIs, I mean STIs

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Speaker 6: sdis went into the doc, told them my symptoms. They

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Speaker 6: did a test. The office came back negative for UTI.

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Speaker 6: Knowing that was strange, they offered to test me for STDs.

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Speaker 6: You're in in blood work the whole thing. I said yes,

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Speaker 6: because my partner does live away and I have been

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Speaker 6: feeling as though my partner has been sneaking around. They

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Speaker 6: treated me for a UTI. Anyway, They told me they

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Speaker 6: would call me when the results came in. Flash forward

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Speaker 6: four days, my partner is home. I get a call

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Speaker 6: that my results are in and that I need to

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Speaker 6: come into get them. They are not the type of

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Speaker 6: office to tell you good or bad news over the phone,

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Speaker 6: so I didn't suspect anything. When I got to the office,

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Speaker 6: the doc came in and told me my test results

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Speaker 6: came back and I tested negative for uti gone rhea, chlamydia, HIV.

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Speaker 4: But I tested positive for syphilis. No Ah, we were

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Speaker 4: in such a good role though we're so close. They

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Speaker 4: always give you the good news first. Yeah, sadly.

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Speaker 6: So the doc performed the second blood test to confirm

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Speaker 6: that it was in fact syphilis and not a false positive.

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Speaker 6: During the visit, my partner texted me asking if everything

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Speaker 6: was all right. I just responded no and left it

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Speaker 6: at that. So I went home, and when I got home,

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Speaker 6: my partner came up and said, what's going on. I

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Speaker 6: looked at my partner and said, I need you to

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Speaker 6: tell me now if you're cheating on me. My partner

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Speaker 6: said no, never, babe. Never first red flagger. My partner

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Speaker 6: never calls me babe.

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Speaker 3: Oh yeah.

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Speaker 6: I told my partner about the positive syphilis test, and

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Speaker 6: my partner looked down at the ground and said, I

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Speaker 6: wonder how long I've had it. Still after that, my

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Speaker 6: partner still denied ever having an affair. Maybe you got

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Speaker 6: through the tap water or something, dude.

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Speaker 4: Maybe maybe his roommate gave it to him, who knows.

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Speaker 6: So after I went into the room, my partner came

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Speaker 6: in about an hour later and said, yell, be mad,

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Speaker 6: do something. At this point in time, I was still

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Speaker 6: waiting for the second lab work, and I didn't want

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Speaker 6: to just overreact just in case it was a false positive.

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Speaker 6: I was just keeping my distance and being civil. I

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Speaker 6: told my partner to get tested because if I had it,

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Speaker 6: he had to have had it too. In my mind,

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Speaker 6: how else would I have gotten it. My partner went

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Speaker 6: in that same day and got tested. When he came

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Speaker 6: back from the dock, he said, no matter what the

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Speaker 6: test says, I take full responsibility.

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Speaker 5: Mmm, what does that mean?

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Speaker 4: Thanks, full response whatever actions he did to get this.

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Speaker 5: He didn't cheat, We didn't.

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Speaker 4: Cheat, but whatever had if he's just eaten too much

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Speaker 4: protein or locking too many frogs, he takes full responsibility.

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Speaker 6: Flash forward the day my second results came in. They

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Speaker 6: came back positive again, so I was treated for the

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Speaker 6: syphilis and then called my partner crying over the phone. Ah,

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Speaker 6: my partner swearing up and down that an affair never happened.

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Speaker 4: Okay, yep.

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Speaker 6: After we got off the phone, the doc called my

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Speaker 6: partner same doc that saw me and gave my partner

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Speaker 6: his results over the phone, since the doc knew my

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Speaker 6: partner was out of town. My partner's first test came

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Speaker 6: back negative.

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Speaker 4: Oh. Interesting.

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Speaker 6: My partner called me and told me I was shocked

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Speaker 6: for obvious reasons. The past ten years, I have never

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Speaker 6: had any sort of contact with anyone besides my partner.

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Speaker 6: I've had multiple children and tested for syphilis two times

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Speaker 6: each pregnancy. I've always come back negative. I call my

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Speaker 6: doc and ask how this is even possible. My doc

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00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,520
Speaker 6: said that my partner could have already tested positive and

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Speaker 6: been treated and is now testing negative. Oh, the first

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00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:07,439
Speaker 6: test for syphilis comes back positive or negative. The second test,

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Speaker 6: if you have ever had syphilis and have been treated,

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00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,520
Speaker 6: will forever come back positive.

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Speaker 4: Got okay, So you need the second test to be

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Speaker 4: just sure? Yeah, one hundred percent sure.

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Speaker 6: And if my partner was willing, my doc would perform

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00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,079
Speaker 6: the second test to see if one comes back positive

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Speaker 6: or negative, because, in his words, he also felt my

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Speaker 6: partner was.

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Speaker 5: Acting strange with the situation.

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Speaker 4: W doctor.

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Speaker 6: So I called my partner and asked that my partner

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Speaker 6: performed the second test. My partner agreed. Asked why that

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Speaker 6: test would come back any different than the first. I

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Speaker 6: told my partner that the second test will tell me

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Speaker 6: if my partner has ever been positive or not. My

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Speaker 6: partner just said, oh.

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Speaker 4: He's like, oh no, He's like, I'm messed up. Oh

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Speaker 4: got caught.

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Speaker 6: My partner agreed to get the second test four months

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Speaker 6: ago and has yet to go in and get the

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Speaker 6: second test done. For a while, I was racking my

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Speaker 6: brain trying to figure out if this was something that

328
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Speaker 6: I have had for a while and it just came

329
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Speaker 6: up now since it can be dormant for up to

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Speaker 6: twenty years. But I took all of my lab work

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Speaker 6: into my obgin and they insisted that this was either

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00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:13,280
Speaker 6: a brand new case or false positive. Both tests came

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00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,320
Speaker 6: back minimally reactive. So now whenever I bring up to

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00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:18,800
Speaker 6: my partner that they are avoiding the second test, which

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00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:21,080
Speaker 6: makes me feel like this was something they did have

336
00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:23,560
Speaker 6: and I just got treated for and didn't tell me.

337
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:27,280
Speaker 6: I am told. I am crazy. Also, my partner had

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00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,600
Speaker 6: a single sore in the genital region that didn't hurt

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00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:33,800
Speaker 6: that they showed me because they have no idea how

340
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,160
Speaker 6: they got it. Me, not knowing what it was, thought

341
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,720
Speaker 6: it was nothing because I had no idea about syphilis.

342
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,600
Speaker 6: But now, after researching everything, I realize it was a

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00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,200
Speaker 6: classic syphilis sore. But when I would remind my partner

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00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,040
Speaker 6: of that sor, I was told that I was making

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00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,400
Speaker 6: it up and that it never happened. And now more recently,

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00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,680
Speaker 6: my partner said that they cut themselves there.

347
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Speaker 5: And told me about it and that I just forgot.

348
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:57,200
Speaker 5: They never said that.

349
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Speaker 4: O making lies, making lies.

350
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Speaker 5: Now the gaslighting really begins.

351
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Speaker 4: Now, now the games really begin. The hat becomes more backwards.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, ever since ever since, Oh, it's just.

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Speaker 4: It's like, oh no.

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Speaker 6: By the way, you can join okay Storytime live on

355
00:15:19,360 --> 00:15:21,320
Speaker 6: YouTube every weekday at three.

356
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Speaker 5: Pm specific time. Just tap the profile.

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Speaker 6: Also, when my partner was telling me that they only

358
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,000
Speaker 6: had been hanging out with one specific friend while my

359
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:32,880
Speaker 6: partner is away from work. This was the day after

360
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Speaker 6: I first tested positive, my partner's eyes got huge and dilated.

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Speaker 6: This really stuck out to me, which is why I'm

362
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,560
Speaker 6: mentioning it. What do you think about like paying attention

363
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,880
Speaker 6: to like people, dilation and.

364
00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:46,280
Speaker 4: Micro what do you call that? Micro expressions?

365
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:47,400
Speaker 5: Yeah, micro expressions.

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Speaker 4: I think if you were trained at it, it is

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00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:51,880
Speaker 4: something good to keep in mind because if you know

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00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,760
Speaker 4: your partner usually has these micro expressions whenever they tell

369
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,400
Speaker 4: you something and then it's off and you're already suspicious

370
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,120
Speaker 4: about something. I think it's something that's out, like, oh,

371
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,320
Speaker 4: their eyes dilated whenever they told me this lie. This

372
00:16:04,360 --> 00:16:05,760
Speaker 4: is a good way. It's it's a good way to

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Speaker 4: like pick up lies.

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Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, if you can like really read that stuff. Anyway,

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00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,360
Speaker 6: I'm obviously trying to be vague because my partner is

376
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,160
Speaker 6: on this app, but it's a very specific circumstance, so

377
00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,240
Speaker 6: I doubt my vagueness will help much. Anyway, I'm pretty

378
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,720
Speaker 6: convinced that my partner has cheated, but I don't have

379
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Speaker 6: an admission, and I'm told I'm crazy.

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Speaker 5: What are your thoughts?

381
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,520
Speaker 4: Uh, you are crazy and they didn't cheat on you.

382
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Speaker 5: I don't even know if you realize how you sound

383
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Speaker 5: right now.

384
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:34,960
Speaker 4: You sound ridiculous, ridiculous, Like, how does someone that didn't

385
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,280
Speaker 4: cheat give you an SDI. Yeah, and the test came

386
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 4: back negative, But the test that really, like is the

387
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:43,800
Speaker 4: real one hasn't even came in yet, so you should

388
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:44,680
Speaker 4: believe the first one.

389
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Speaker 6: Yeah, you're probably faking it on your test or you're

390
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,280
Speaker 6: looking frogs.

391
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Speaker 4: Or you're looking frogs.

392
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Speaker 3: Stop looking frog stop ber My best friend is sabotaging

393
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:55,520
Speaker 3: my dates. I think she might be jealous or she's

394
00:16:55,560 --> 00:17:01,160
Speaker 3: in love with you assib okay, there worry from the gecko.

395
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Speaker 3: For some background context, me female twenty three and my

396
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,040
Speaker 3: best friend Andy, female twenty five have known each other

397
00:17:08,080 --> 00:17:10,960
Speaker 3: since we were ten and twelve. We have become very

398
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:13,200
Speaker 3: close in the last few years and now consider each

399
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,520
Speaker 3: other best friends. By the way, this comes from you

400
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,439
Speaker 3: dash show thirty on the r slash Okay storytime subreddits.

401
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 3: So I tell her everything, well almost everything. We do

402
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:25,800
Speaker 3: everything together, and one of those things is going up

403
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:28,439
Speaker 3: to her family cottage where we get to party with

404
00:17:28,520 --> 00:17:30,880
Speaker 3: all of her neighbors. There nothing like a good old

405
00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,600
Speaker 3: cottage party coach party. May twenty twenty four, we went

406
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:37,040
Speaker 3: up to her cottage for the first long weekend of

407
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 3: the summer. There's always a huge party with the band

408
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 3: and food truck. One of the neighbor's sons, Mason, who

409
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,399
Speaker 3: lives on the other side of the country so he

410
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,960
Speaker 3: only visits two to three times a year, was there

411
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,760
Speaker 3: for the weekend. I'd gotten out of a relationship about

412
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,359
Speaker 3: eight months prior to this weekend, and so had he.

413
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,359
Speaker 3: I always thought he was good looking, so I stuck

414
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,000
Speaker 3: up a conversation with him the first night, and immediately

415
00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:02,720
Speaker 3: I could tell he was sabricating, though he stayed up

416
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,760
Speaker 3: later to hang out with us, which he always tried

417
00:18:04,760 --> 00:18:07,919
Speaker 3: to sit close to me, and followed me on Instagram

418
00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,920
Speaker 3: and DMS me less than an hour after we got

419
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,480
Speaker 3: it eager. I think he liked you.

420
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 4: I like, oh you sure.

421
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:18,399
Speaker 3: The next day, the day of the party, we all

422
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,879
Speaker 3: started drinking around five to six pm, and by the

423
00:18:20,920 --> 00:18:23,800
Speaker 3: end of the night everyone was pretty blackout from the

424
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,480
Speaker 3: open bar. Andy had said to her cousin earlier during

425
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,680
Speaker 3: the day, Mason is totally in her, and he lives

426
00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 3: so far away he might actually be the perfect person

427
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,520
Speaker 3: to get with. And I actually really like you two together.

428
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 3: Me and him were flirting all night, and Andy even

429
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,640
Speaker 3: said to him at one point, let's go find her

430
00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,960
Speaker 3: for you, So she was being my wingwoman. We ended

431
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,240
Speaker 3: up making out in the kitchen, little kitchen makeout, which

432
00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:51,600
Speaker 3: was not the most discreet thing since the windows are huge,

433
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 3: so it was a bit of a fishbowl situation for

434
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,760
Speaker 3: the rest of the party. Then, so and had come

435
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:58,560
Speaker 3: in so we went to his room and proceeded to

436
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:03,480
Speaker 3: have the best spicy I was probably gone for around

437
00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:05,520
Speaker 3: forty five minutes to an hour, and by the time

438
00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 3: I looked at my phone, Andy had sent me multiple

439
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,719
Speaker 3: texts asking where I was. I panicked and told her

440
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,800
Speaker 3: I was with Mason, but we were just chatting. I'm

441
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 3: not sure why I lied. I guess I just panicked

442
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 3: because I wasn't sure if she would be upset. I

443
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,000
Speaker 3: love her, but she does have a hard time letting

444
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 3: things go. We have an old friend who started dating

445
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:23,879
Speaker 3: someone on her cottage lake and how they are not

446
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,280
Speaker 3: friends anymore. So I know this could feel familiar to

447
00:19:26,320 --> 00:19:28,919
Speaker 3: her in a bad way, but there were other issues

448
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 3: in that friendship and she knows I would never behave

449
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:33,440
Speaker 3: that way. The entire weekend, I could tell she didn't

450
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 3: quite believe me, but we dropped it. I knew I

451
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,600
Speaker 3: had to tell her eventually because I don't want to

452
00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,399
Speaker 3: lie to her and people were most likely going to

453
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,119
Speaker 3: find out anyways. So around the week later, when she

454
00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:45,320
Speaker 3: came over, I did. She seemed okay. In the moment,

455
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:48,159
Speaker 3: I apologize for lying, explaining how I was pretty drunk

456
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 3: and just randomly panicked She then ghosted me for the

457
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 3: next day. Darn, what's up?

458
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 1: What does is ghosting?

459
00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,159
Speaker 3: There's a lot of ghosting. It's spooky season, explained it ghosts.

460
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 3: We were able to go on a walk a couple

461
00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:00,639
Speaker 3: days later when she expressed how upse said she was

462
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:03,000
Speaker 3: that I felt the need to lie, and I apologized

463
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 3: again and we talked it out and everything seemed okay.

464
00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:06,320
Speaker 7: Okay, okay.

465
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:10,159
Speaker 3: Also like she was pretty drunk, pretty drunk, like you

466
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:12,840
Speaker 3: told her. You came forth and told her.

467
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, So everything's okay. Everything just like, hey, like.

468
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 3: I'm asked, I should have lied.

469
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:17,920
Speaker 5: Yeah.

470
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 3: The rest of the summer was great. I thought we

471
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:21,399
Speaker 3: got to the point where we could joke about the

472
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 3: whole situation. Mason and I exchanged dms over the summer,

473
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 3: which eventually led him to telling me he wants to

474
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,400
Speaker 3: take me out on a real date.

475
00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:30,880
Speaker 1: He hasn't taken you out on a date.

476
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 3: I don't know if he likes her. I think he

477
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 3: likes her, you think so?

478
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 4: I wow.

479
00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 3: I didn't tell Andy about this because it happened around

480
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 3: her birthday and I didn't want any stress to ruin

481
00:20:39,119 --> 00:20:39,480
Speaker 3: her day.

482
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:40,760
Speaker 1: Why would this stress her out?

483
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,880
Speaker 3: Because they had like a lie. Argument about it? Okay,

484
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:46,359
Speaker 3: me and Mason made rough plans when he wanted to

485
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 3: get us an airbnb in the city I live in.

486
00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 3: When I told her Mason reached out to take me

487
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,160
Speaker 3: on a date, I didn't tell her we had rough

488
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 3: plans already. She was immediately upset, to the point of

489
00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 3: almost tears. Oh my god. She kept saying, I'm not

490
00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,639
Speaker 3: gonna lie. It makes me really uncomfortable, and I'm being dramatic.

491
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, what if I'm keeping you from your future husband?

492
00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 3: Long story short. She was so clearly upset and uncomfortable

493
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 3: with the idea, I decided to cancel the day.

494
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 1: Wait, I'm sorry. Maybe I'm missing something. Why is she

495
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,840
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable? What's the issue here?

496
00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,200
Speaker 3: I think we have context in this now. Okay, here's

497
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,399
Speaker 3: the thing. Andy has been obsessed with Mason's younger brother

498
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 3: for four years. He recently slept together, and things have

499
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,800
Speaker 3: now tapered off between them. She brought this up to me, saying,

500
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,560
Speaker 3: it would be hard to see my best friend with

501
00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 3: his brother after that.

502
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 1: Get over it?

503
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,360
Speaker 3: Why I thought, the same person.

504
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:34,040
Speaker 1: Not even the same person?

505
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 3: Get over it yet?

506
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 4: What to me?

507
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:38,880
Speaker 3: This seems like it is coming out of a jealous place, like, Oh,

508
00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,080
Speaker 3: your relationship with the brother didn't work out, so now

509
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 3: you can't you're upset that. Yeah, I don't know. She

510
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 3: can't just say I'm not totally comfortable with it, but

511
00:21:46,359 --> 00:21:48,800
Speaker 3: I want you to be happy. She says she thinks

512
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,840
Speaker 3: me and ham would be cute together, but then goes

513
00:21:50,880 --> 00:21:53,320
Speaker 3: and says, you could do what you want by going,

514
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 3: but I think a wall would go up between us

515
00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 3: if you went.

516
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 1: The wall's gonna go up between you guys because of that.

517
00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:00,719
Speaker 1: Then I don't know if this friendship that's strong.

518
00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:04,879
Speaker 3: I'm just confused. Why is she upset she's because of

519
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:05,359
Speaker 3: the lie.

520
00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:07,400
Speaker 1: I still don't get it. No, I don't even think

521
00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:10,119
Speaker 1: it's because lie. I think she's saying I'm uncomfortable.

522
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:11,840
Speaker 3: Because it's because because.

523
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,720
Speaker 1: My exes brother, which makes sense why OP was lying.

524
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll see. So she couldn't handle the idea of

525
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 3: the possibility of me being in that family instead of

526
00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:24,560
Speaker 3: her her words, what if you're at their Thanksgiving? So

527
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,479
Speaker 3: I get that she's close to the family, but I

528
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:29,199
Speaker 3: really like this guy. I haven't liked someone like this

529
00:22:29,359 --> 00:22:32,840
Speaker 3: in over a year. And they had the best spicy

530
00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,520
Speaker 3: sleep of her life and don't you forget. And he's mature, smart, oh,

531
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 3: good looking, oh likes to go to the gym, like

532
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,679
Speaker 3: me or compatible in a lot of ways, and we

533
00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 3: are looking forward to going on a date to get

534
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 3: to know each other. At a bunch of people at

535
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,600
Speaker 3: a party watching us. His response to when I told

536
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 3: him Andy was uncomfortable with us going on a date was,

537
00:22:51,359 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 3: I may as well lay my feelings on the line here.

538
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 3: Over the last year, I haven't really found anybody that

539
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,679
Speaker 3: has got me truly excited about being with But I

540
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,320
Speaker 3: did feel that way about you, even if it was

541
00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 3: because of a brief weekend night. I get it, though,

542
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 3: she's your best friend and that needs to comfort.

543
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 4: Don't know.

544
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,600
Speaker 1: And understanding, don't let me.

545
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 4: I think he likes you, I think I like him.

546
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,200
Speaker 3: I don't know, ke, I really don't know. At this point,

547
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:20,280
Speaker 3: it took that one video.

548
00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:21,440
Speaker 1: Head's all mixed up.

549
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:22,080
Speaker 5: She may not be.

550
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,840
Speaker 3: Indeed, this response made it even harder. Yeah, what a

551
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:27,480
Speaker 3: sweet text. Made it even harder to accept the fact

552
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,040
Speaker 3: that we weren't going out since he clearly feels the

553
00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 3: same way I do. I mean, we can't confirm it.

554
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,479
Speaker 3: After I talked to Andy, and told her I wouldn't go.

555
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,239
Speaker 3: She ignored me for three days Andy, until finally I

556
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:41,919
Speaker 3: texted her asking to please not ghost me if she

557
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 3: was upset about something. Turns out she overheard Mason's mom

558
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,840
Speaker 3: say Mason needs to borrow her car one night for

559
00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:50,120
Speaker 3: a date he had in the city aka the date

560
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 3: with me. I lied and told her he just mentioned

561
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,280
Speaker 3: a few dates and not that we had planned them.

562
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,919
Speaker 1: Yeah, we need to stop being friends with Andy.

563
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 3: OPI was keeping that yeah the radar, and that came out.

564
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:02,760
Speaker 3: We talked until four in the morning, and I even

565
00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:04,879
Speaker 3: showed her the text from him, but she continued to

566
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 3: say she doesn't like to feel like the villain. You

567
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: are uncomfortable with it. I know I shouldn't have lied

568
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,919
Speaker 3: again and told her I didn't respond to him asking

569
00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 3: me out when we had been talking for a few

570
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:17,000
Speaker 3: weeks already. But do I need to tell her everything?

571
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,119
Speaker 3: I know she's close with the family and maybe I

572
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 3: should be transparent, But at the same time, I only

573
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:23,119
Speaker 3: want to tell people about my dates who will be

574
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,800
Speaker 3: excited and happy for me, But she isn't. She just

575
00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:28,520
Speaker 3: seems bitter and jealous over the idea. I don't know

576
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 3: how many more times. I could apologize her lying to

577
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,600
Speaker 3: her in May. She said she'll get over it again,

578
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 3: as she knows I'm a good friend, but I feel

579
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:38,360
Speaker 3: resentment now she's keeping me from going on a date

580
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,639
Speaker 3: with the great guy. I know I could do what

581
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 3: I want, but how can I go? And my best

582
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 3: friend says a wall will go up between us and

583
00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 3: our friendship will change if I do.

584
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,520
Speaker 1: Your friends has already changed.

585
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:47,760
Speaker 5: Though.

586
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:49,800
Speaker 1: The thing is, I know there's more to the story,

587
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 1: but like the thing is that if you don't go

588
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,320
Speaker 1: on the date, you're going to present her. Yeah, and

589
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 1: then the friendship will change.

590
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 3: You're right, that's all. Yeah, No, it's true. If you

591
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 3: don't go, you'll resent her. If you go, she'll probably

592
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 3: resent you. Either way, someone's getting resented and mine as well.

593
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,600
Speaker 3: Gets a more good sleepy time together. If someone's gonna

594
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,800
Speaker 3: get resented, get the spicy sleep exact.

595
00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:11,679
Speaker 4: Someone's got to win here.

596
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:13,960
Speaker 3: It's not gonna be Andy, Yeah, it's gonna be Mason.

597
00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:17,640
Speaker 3: Though hopefully Mason didn't understand either. He kept asking why

598
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 3: she was being possessive and when she was against us.

599
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 3: But if you don't want to be against us, please

600
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:25,240
Speaker 3: join us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm PST.

601
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 3: Just tap our profile. How do I let him know

602
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:30,480
Speaker 3: I'm not shutting the door on us. If I ever

603
00:25:30,600 --> 00:25:33,320
Speaker 3: visit his city, I want to reach out. I was

604
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,520
Speaker 3: really looking forward to seeing him. He's up at his

605
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,239
Speaker 3: cottage on her Lake this weekend, and I know that

606
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:40,720
Speaker 3: she didn't invite me up there because he's there, and

607
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 3: I really feel like it it's because she's trying to

608
00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 3: keep us apart. I know I'm the a hole for

609
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 3: lying again, but was I wrong to plan the date

610
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:51,400
Speaker 3: without talking to her first? At the end of the day,

611
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,200
Speaker 3: it's a boy and a girl on a date. It

612
00:25:53,320 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 3: might not even work out, but we don't deserve to

613
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,000
Speaker 3: figure that out for ourselves without her being involved. Why

614
00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:00,679
Speaker 3: do I need to sacrifice my happiness for her feeling?

615
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:01,239
Speaker 1: Don't do that?

616
00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 3: You have some strong feelings about this.

617
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm angry.

618
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 4: She's a bad friend.

619
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 1: She's about Andy is a bad friend, and you don't

620
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,000
Speaker 1: deserve to have bad friends in your life. You deserve

621
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 1: to have Mason in your life and good friends. And

622
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:16,040
Speaker 1: if she can't be supportive of you dating someone who

623
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: is not your ex and not even like her exes,

624
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:22,359
Speaker 1: like she didn't date Mason's brother. They slept together a

625
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 1: couple of times. She wasn't even with him. Why is

626
00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:27,560
Speaker 1: she so hung up about this? Weird?

627
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:29,000
Speaker 3: I totally agree.

628
00:26:29,320 --> 00:26:30,840
Speaker 1: I think, well, you would be hurting us if you

629
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:31,159
Speaker 1: did it.

630
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 3: I think they just need to unpack, like why is she.

631
00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:37,200
Speaker 5: Guy?

632
00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 3: What's going on with her? Because of this? I think,

633
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 3: like a conversation like that, like you seem to be

634
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 3: really affected by this, like what's going on?

635
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:45,560
Speaker 4: You're really hung up with this?

636
00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:48,159
Speaker 1: But that is the end of that story. My friend

637
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,760
Speaker 1: told me I wasn't putting enough effort into the friendship.

638
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 4: I told her, she's a hypocrite.

639
00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 1: I Female twenty five have known my best friend, Female

640
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:58,480
Speaker 1: twenty five since high school. Our friendship has survived college

641
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 1: and being separated across the cree for many years. We

642
00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:03,919
Speaker 1: both eventually made it back to our hometown and have

643
00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: been living here for almost three years. By the way,

644
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,920
Speaker 1: this comes from g B Roads on the r slash

645
00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: Shokey story time Separate it. So the first year we

646
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 1: both lived in the same town, we hardly saw each other.

647
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 1: I think that was due to a combination of things,

648
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:20,360
Speaker 1: including opposing work schedules, me being in a serious relationship

649
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,520
Speaker 1: and living in a post COVID world. COVID really took

650
00:27:23,520 --> 00:27:26,320
Speaker 1: a toll on my mental health and my social life

651
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:28,959
Speaker 1: for quite some time after lockdown, saying goes for her.

652
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:31,639
Speaker 1: We would try to find time weekly or buy weekly

653
00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:34,159
Speaker 1: to work out or go on a walk. We always

654
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,560
Speaker 1: saw each other early in the mornings, and I'm not

655
00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:39,720
Speaker 1: a morning person in the slightest. This would lead to

656
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:42,760
Speaker 1: me canceling on her occasionally if I was feeling extra

657
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: exhausted that particular day. I admit that wasn't nice of

658
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 1: me to do, but sometimes I just wasn't in the mood.

659
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:52,040
Speaker 1: This would royally piss her off. She sometimes would cancel

660
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,880
Speaker 1: on me too, but I would never bet an eye

661
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,239
Speaker 1: on it. She worked days and I work nights, so

662
00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,120
Speaker 1: that's why we always did stuff early in the mornings.

663
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: On my off days, she usually had work, so I

664
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,200
Speaker 1: would spend those days with my significant other. We had

665
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,600
Speaker 1: the occasional off day that lined up, and we would

666
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 1: normally do something outdoorsy together, but this didn't happen often.

667
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 1: Calm next winter and she started becoming a bit bitter

668
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:17,879
Speaker 1: to me. Oh, I'm a very happy, caring person and

669
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: I've always maintained a good attitude around her, it got

670
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:22,439
Speaker 1: to the point where she would snap at me for

671
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,480
Speaker 1: the littlest things. For example, I had joked about something

672
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:28,639
Speaker 1: completely unserious about A few weeks later, she brought up

673
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,600
Speaker 1: to me and told me how my comment bothered her.

674
00:28:30,760 --> 00:28:33,240
Speaker 1: She blew up about it because she let it fester

675
00:28:33,359 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 1: for weeks before finally bringing up. I of course apologized

676
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:38,120
Speaker 1: for offunding her and we went about our day. But

677
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 1: from that point on I felt like I had to

678
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:43,040
Speaker 1: walk on eggshells around her. She would get pissed over

679
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 1: the dumbest things. My friend who I used to always

680
00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,960
Speaker 1: goof around with was no longer fun to talk to

681
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:48,840
Speaker 1: or be around.

682
00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:50,680
Speaker 4: No more goofing, No more goofed?

683
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 3: What about are we goofing or or any.

684
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:53,760
Speaker 5: Of the above?

685
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: Isn't that smean something?

686
00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 3: I don't know what it means. Oh, it's not like

687
00:28:57,280 --> 00:28:59,200
Speaker 3: a thing. I wasn't thinking about it when I said

688
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 3: I was just rhyming dim.

689
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: I chalked this up to her being in a manic episode,

690
00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,479
Speaker 1: as she does have bipolar disorder. I gave her some

691
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,160
Speaker 1: space and occasionally texted her to check up on her.

692
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:13,320
Speaker 1: She would either not respond at all, or send back

693
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,040
Speaker 1: a short reply with some sass. We finally made a

694
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,040
Speaker 1: plan to hang out after not seeing each other for

695
00:29:18,080 --> 00:29:20,120
Speaker 1: a few weeks. When she showed up to my place,

696
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,920
Speaker 1: I could tell she was super serious and cold towards me.

697
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:25,760
Speaker 1: She said we needed to talk. We sat down and

698
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 1: she explained to me that she felt I hadn't been

699
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 1: putting enough effort into our friendships. She claimed I canceled

700
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 1: on her too much, I never put an effort into

701
00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,320
Speaker 1: making plans, and that I spent too much time with

702
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: my significant other.

703
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 4: This is the opposite. This is the opposite of the

704
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,880
Speaker 4: flip side of the story.

705
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 1: I wouldn't say this was completely true, as we were

706
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:48,160
Speaker 1: both at fault for various wrongdoings. We hashed it out

707
00:29:48,200 --> 00:29:51,680
Speaker 1: for a few hours. We laughed, we cried because and

708
00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 1: it was all fine. I admitted she was right with

709
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: some of her points. As I may not have been

710
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: the best friend at that time. Lash forward and I

711
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,720
Speaker 1: have become the most attentive. Her talk really struck a

712
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: nerve with me, and I didn't want to lose her.

713
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,680
Speaker 1: See that that's effective communication right there. We love to

714
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:07,800
Speaker 1: see it. I text her all the time. I try

715
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 1: to make weekly plans when I can, I check up

716
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:12,760
Speaker 1: on her when she's being distant. I work my butt

717
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 1: off to maintain this friendship. Now recently, I've noticed I

718
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,400
Speaker 1: don't get any effort in return. I am solely the

719
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,760
Speaker 1: one who texts her. I am the one who makes plans.

720
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,640
Speaker 1: I invite her to outings with other friends and introduce

721
00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 1: her to new ones. I constantly planned things around her schedule,

722
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:31,080
Speaker 1: just to get canceled on an hour before. It's infuriating

723
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,480
Speaker 1: when I text her, she either forgets to text back,

724
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: is working, or doesn't get back to me for a

725
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:39,160
Speaker 1: few days. She never tries to plan anything with me anymore.

726
00:30:39,280 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 1: We basically only speak when I'm the one who reaches out.

727
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:44,360
Speaker 1: On top of that, she has become really inconsiderate of

728
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:46,480
Speaker 1: my time. For example, I set up a day to

729
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,400
Speaker 1: go paddle boarding a few weeks ago. We decided on

730
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:51,840
Speaker 1: a morning paddle, and I texted her the day before

731
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,400
Speaker 1: to make sure we were still on. She never got

732
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 1: back to me come the morning of the paddle, and

733
00:30:56,480 --> 00:30:59,600
Speaker 1: she still hadn't texted me back. Finally, around noon, she

734
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,800
Speaker 1: sent me, so sorry, I forgot to text you back.

735
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: Actually don't really feel like paddling today. Can we do

736
00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,760
Speaker 1: something later tonight. I was upset, rightfully so, but I

737
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 1: played it off as if it were fine. I don't

738
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: like to hang out late at night because I work

739
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 1: really early in the morning. And she knows this.

740
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 3: Why did you play it off?

741
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:16,480
Speaker 1: Don't play it off?

742
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:17,280
Speaker 4: Don't play it off.

743
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 3: I'm fine.

744
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: Let her know that it bugs you. Say like I've

745
00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,040
Speaker 1: made an effort to change, and I'm not seeing that effort.

746
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 3: She was open with you, and you've changed you understanding

747
00:31:27,520 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 3: her side and trying to be a better friend. Exactly

748
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 3: why are you hiding it?

749
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:33,160
Speaker 1: This has been a constant occurrence as of late. On

750
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 1: top of that, she is always hanging out with new

751
00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 1: work friends and has never introduced me to them. She

752
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,240
Speaker 1: scheduled a girl trip with a few of her friends

753
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: that I didn't get invited to and then brags all

754
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 1: about it like it didn't make me feel crappy.

755
00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,960
Speaker 3: She didn't invite her to the girly trip, the girl trip. No,

756
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 3: that's messed up.

757
00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: I could go on and on about this. I just

758
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,000
Speaker 1: feel that she doesn't care about this friendship anymore. We

759
00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: care about you, and we want you to join us

760
00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 1: live every week, to have three PMPSD on YouTube. Just

761
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,680
Speaker 1: tap her profile. Care and there is a tiny bit

762
00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,880
Speaker 1: left to the story, But I think that, Yeah, I

763
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,440
Speaker 1: think you need to talk to her and say, hey,

764
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 1: we had that talk last time, and I feel like

765
00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: I made a lot of changes and now it seems

766
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:10,120
Speaker 1: like we've flipped.

767
00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,000
Speaker 3: It doesn't feel reciprocated. Yeah, I want to have a

768
00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:13,680
Speaker 3: good relationship.

769
00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I care about this and that's why I

770
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:17,320
Speaker 1: made those changes, because I care about her friendship.

771
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, just have that talk.

772
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 1: If she can have it with you, then you could

773
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 1: have it with her.

774
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:23,680
Speaker 3: Also, she already said the precedent, your friendship can handle

775
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 3: hard conversation. So that's the ground floor exactly. There's room

776
00:32:26,520 --> 00:32:27,640
Speaker 3: for another hard conversation.

777
00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:29,720
Speaker 1: There's room, but there's a little bit left. I don't

778
00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 1: know how much I can take. I know if I

779
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,280
Speaker 1: talk to her about it, she will freak.

780
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 3: Well, we don't know that, you know.

781
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, I am not the best at expressing my feelings

782
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,440
Speaker 1: towards other and tend to get walked all over. She

783
00:32:39,480 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: would eat me alive. I'm at a loss of what

784
00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: to do. My plan is to not text her and

785
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:45,520
Speaker 1: just wait to see when she decides to reach out.

786
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: That's aboud idea. If she has a richardish response, then

787
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,200
Speaker 1: I will consider ending the friendship. But if she is

788
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,160
Speaker 1: actually concerned and wanted to see me.

789
00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 3: You are close with your friend, or you've had history

790
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 3: and you have friendship and you're hurt.

791
00:32:58,240 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 1: Yeah. The only time that's an ex response is when

792
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,240
Speaker 1: you're like, you're in the talking stage with the person

793
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 1: that you're romantically interested in and then they don't like

794
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:07,640
Speaker 1: they're not reaching out, and so then you just let

795
00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:07,840
Speaker 1: it go.

796
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:10,640
Speaker 3: But not with friends, Yeah, and the loving friendship.

797
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:13,120
Speaker 1: I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this.

798
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,479
Speaker 1: I'm not the best writer, so I'm sorry if this

799
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: is riddled with mistakes and misspellings. I appreciate anyone who

800
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: can offer advice. And that is the end of that story.

801
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:26,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, my aunt was planning on leaving everything to me,

802
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 2: then left everything to my sister.

803
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:29,800
Speaker 4: I guess we know who's better.

804
00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 2: My aunt and I have always been very close my

805
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,040
Speaker 2: whole life. She's been a mother figure to me. I

806
00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:37,440
Speaker 2: remember being five years old when she called my mother

807
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,360
Speaker 2: to ask for my info to put me down as

808
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 2: the beneficiary of something.

809
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 7: I was too little to remember what exactly.

810
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 2: My own mother was surprised at the time, and it

811
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 2: has been expressed to me repeatedly over the years that

812
00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 2: I will inherit everything after she dies.

813
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:52,960
Speaker 4: Awesome.

814
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 2: My aunt has told me this her whole life and

815
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 2: how much she loves me. She has never had any children,

816
00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:01,360
Speaker 2: and she's always lived out of state. My family jokes

817
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,560
Speaker 2: were so much alike in many ways that I'm actually.

818
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:07,240
Speaker 4: Her daughter by birth. That's funny day, that's a funny joke.

819
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:09,919
Speaker 2: My other siblings were never close with her the way

820
00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:12,399
Speaker 2: she and I have been throughout my life. I used

821
00:34:12,440 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 2: to get to talk to her practically every day, and

822
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,320
Speaker 2: I'd visit her regularly in my adult life.

823
00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:18,640
Speaker 7: By the way, this comes from.

824
00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:22,319
Speaker 2: User snow Objections seventy four sixty four on the r

825
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,520
Speaker 2: slash Okay story time, So I read it back in

826
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: November of twenty twenty, she had a back surgery, and

827
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 2: since COVID was going on at the time, they planned

828
00:34:29,800 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 2: to discharge her a few hours after surgery. She only

829
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,440
Speaker 2: told me about a week before that she was getting

830
00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:37,799
Speaker 2: this surgery, and that she lied to the doctors about

831
00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,040
Speaker 2: having someone to care for her afterwards.

832
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,520
Speaker 4: Oh, she probably doesn't have money. Guys, don't lie to

833
00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:43,600
Speaker 4: your doctors people.

834
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,400
Speaker 2: She downplayed the whole thing and thought she'd be fine

835
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:48,760
Speaker 2: to look out for herself. As soon as I heard,

836
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,879
Speaker 2: I told her no way, and that I'd care for her.

837
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,120
Speaker 2: So I booked a flight and I got there the

838
00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:57,240
Speaker 2: night before surgery, ready to look after her while she recovered.

839
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,440
Speaker 2: She told me I was her power of attorney and

840
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 2: that the paper were in her office, along with her

841
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 2: will should anything go wrong. She detailed where they were

842
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,760
Speaker 2: in an email which I still have today. I arrived

843
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:10,440
Speaker 2: the night before, and what happened next I would have

844
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:16,000
Speaker 2: never imagined in my wildest nightmare. Oh no, it still

845
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:19,200
Speaker 2: feels surreal, and I have trauma about the entire thing.

846
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,920
Speaker 2: I took her home after surgery and she was in agony.

847
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,560
Speaker 2: I called her doctors and gave her her meds as

848
00:35:25,600 --> 00:35:29,440
Speaker 2: prescribed and charted everything. She was in so much pain, screaming.

849
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,399
Speaker 2: It still gives me chills thinking of it. She kept

850
00:35:32,480 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 2: asking for more and more painkillers, and I was seriously

851
00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:38,560
Speaker 2: worried she was going to od, and the doctor said

852
00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:41,160
Speaker 2: she shouldn't have this much pain. In addition to that,

853
00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,160
Speaker 2: I learned when I got there that she was on

854
00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:47,720
Speaker 2: probably a dozen psychiatric meds at her all multiple antidepressants,

855
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 2: three different benzos, and an antipsychotic, among other things for

856
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,879
Speaker 2: her mental health. I was very worried this was way

857
00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:57,439
Speaker 2: too much, in that it was doing something terrible to her.

858
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 2: She kept waking up in the middle of the night

859
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 2: and getting into her meds in the kitchen, taking stuff

860
00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,760
Speaker 2: way too early while I was asleep, and I worried

861
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 2: it could kill her. I decided to take all of

862
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 2: the meds and keep them in my room for safe

863
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,800
Speaker 2: keeping so she wouldn't accidentally od. That's a pretty scary

864
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 2: situation to also then find out that she's on like

865
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,600
Speaker 2: a you know, a dozen different meds.

866
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:18,280
Speaker 4: Whoa.

867
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 2: It was clear at that point that she was mentally

868
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:24,120
Speaker 2: detached from reality, hearing and seeing things. She woke up

869
00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:26,480
Speaker 2: again that night, and upon learning her meds weren't in

870
00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:29,120
Speaker 2: the kitchen, she came into my room demanding them. I

871
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: told her that she was going to od and that

872
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,960
Speaker 2: she wasn't in her right mind, and she lunged at

873
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 2: me in a rage. I seriously thought that she was

874
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,120
Speaker 2: trying to kill me. I gave her the bag full

875
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:43,160
Speaker 2: of drugs and I text her doctors and the practice

876
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 2: of the home nursing contact. We had that covered for

877
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,719
Speaker 2: me a few hours each afternoon. This was around four

878
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,200
Speaker 2: in the morning. By six or seven am, the nursing

879
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,879
Speaker 2: company owner was at her house and we were both

880
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 2: worried she wasn't in her right mind and would od.

881
00:36:56,680 --> 00:37:00,040
Speaker 2: When her nursing company owner asked for her drugs, she

882
00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,359
Speaker 2: chased her out of the house and me too. Right then,

883
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,239
Speaker 2: a police officer showed up. My aunt had called them

884
00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:09,040
Speaker 2: on us, convinced we were trying to steal her meds.

885
00:37:09,200 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 2: I explained what was going on, and they asked for

886
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,400
Speaker 2: my ID. My wallet was missing, and I later learned

887
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 2: that night that she stole my wallet in ID. The

888
00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 2: whole thing went from bad to works. I ended up

889
00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 2: in a hotel for a month attempting to get her help.

890
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:26,479
Speaker 2: She was paranoid and psychotic, hearing and seeing things, and.

891
00:37:26,400 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 7: Thought I was trying to kill her.

892
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: She even called the police on me one night, and

893
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 2: there were four officers outside my hotel.

894
00:37:32,880 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 7: Ready to arrest me.

895
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 4: Oh my god.

896
00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,440
Speaker 2: She told them I stole her car and debit cards

897
00:37:37,640 --> 00:37:39,640
Speaker 2: and was having an affair with her male.

898
00:37:39,480 --> 00:37:42,480
Speaker 7: Nurse, all of which was obviously untrue.

899
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:46,320
Speaker 2: Oh no, she was back in the hospital multiple times,

900
00:37:46,360 --> 00:37:48,399
Speaker 2: but kept getting out the next day.

901
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 7: They couldn't hold her against her will. Whether I'd tried

902
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:53,319
Speaker 7: to explain on the phone to the medical staff what

903
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 7: was going on, they couldn't talk to me about any details.

904
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 7: I told them I.

905
00:37:57,920 --> 00:37:59,920
Speaker 2: Was her power of attorney and that she needed me

906
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,879
Speaker 2: medical help and to keep her while she didn't want

907
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,160
Speaker 2: to be there. When they asked for proof, I looked

908
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 2: for the documents and couldn't find the will or power

909
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 2: of attorney papers in the office as she said they were.

910
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:12,719
Speaker 2: I reached out to her lawyer, who said she had

911
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,960
Speaker 2: connected with him a few months back to have a

912
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:18,480
Speaker 2: will made leaving everything to my mother, who hates my

913
00:38:18,560 --> 00:38:20,520
Speaker 2: aunt by the way, but is nice to her face.

914
00:38:20,640 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 2: But she never followed through and actually created the legal documents. Naturally,

915
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,920
Speaker 2: I began questioning everything in our relationship.

916
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 4: So these are probably her true colors, and she's been

917
00:38:29,200 --> 00:38:31,280
Speaker 4: asking them a little bit while Opie's been around.

918
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:33,480
Speaker 2: After a month of trying to get her help and

919
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,920
Speaker 2: going through it, I had to return home. She was

920
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,480
Speaker 2: out of her mind. There's more crazy stuff that occurred,

921
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 2: but I digress. For months, I got crazy voicemails from

922
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,880
Speaker 2: her threatening to sue me, and calls from the police

923
00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 2: regarding her welfare. I was worried sick she'd end up

924
00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,120
Speaker 2: homeless or die from an overdose. One call, she said

925
00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:54,799
Speaker 2: she was dying and asked if I wanted anything in

926
00:38:54,880 --> 00:38:57,160
Speaker 2: her will and asked me to call her.

927
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 7: I felt this was more.

928
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:01,279
Speaker 2: Craziness and manipulation and did didn't reply for my own

929
00:39:01,320 --> 00:39:04,040
Speaker 2: mental health sake. A few months after that call, I

930
00:39:04,160 --> 00:39:06,960
Speaker 2: learned she finally made a real will when she was

931
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:10,399
Speaker 2: better and left everything to my sister, who doesn't really

932
00:39:10,440 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 2: have a relationship with her.

933
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:14,439
Speaker 4: You she's just trying to spite you, dude, What the heck?

934
00:39:14,560 --> 00:39:17,719
Speaker 2: I mean? It's clearly this is like an unwell mentally

935
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: unwell decision. Yeah, and I feel like a lot of

936
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,640
Speaker 2: it is just like spite and anger.

937
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:24,480
Speaker 7: Incredibly messed up.

938
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:28,080
Speaker 2: I think the last time my sister visited was fifteen

939
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 2: years ago. Incredibly, my aunt made a full recovery in

940
00:39:31,400 --> 00:39:34,480
Speaker 2: the past year and is saying again and stopped taking

941
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:35,680
Speaker 2: a lot of the stuff she was on.

942
00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:36,640
Speaker 4: Thank God.

943
00:39:37,239 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 2: It's hard to know where the line of like this

944
00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:43,719
Speaker 2: stuff is causing versus it's actually helping your problems. In

945
00:39:43,800 --> 00:39:46,880
Speaker 2: terms of like psychiatric medicine. Other times, I've had personal

946
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:49,040
Speaker 2: experiences with that where it's like, you know, people I know,

947
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 2: or like even myself, like get on something and it's like, wow,

948
00:39:51,800 --> 00:39:53,839
Speaker 2: things seem to be getting worse now, and then it's

949
00:39:53,880 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 2: like you get off it and you're like, oh God,

950
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,040
Speaker 2: that's like, yeah, everything's life is so much better now.

951
00:39:58,200 --> 00:40:00,760
Speaker 2: Everything's way better now that I'm not taking this stuff.

952
00:40:00,880 --> 00:40:04,759
Speaker 2: We began speaking again the last six months. Unfortunately, my

953
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 2: industry laid off a ton of people and I found

954
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:09,800
Speaker 2: myself without a job for way too long. She offered

955
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 2: to have me live with her, and I recently moved

956
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,400
Speaker 2: in with her. Oh nice, WHOA, that's got to be

957
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,320
Speaker 2: crazy after everything you went through, Like, that's kind of brave.

958
00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 4: Yeah.

959
00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:21,160
Speaker 2: As soon as I moved in, she brought up the

960
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:24,360
Speaker 2: situation with the will and that I never returned her call,

961
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 2: but that things would be divided among my sisters. I

962
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 2: told her that I heard she left everything to one sister.

963
00:40:30,239 --> 00:40:32,440
Speaker 2: She confirmed that this was true, but that she asked

964
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,600
Speaker 2: her to be generous with me. In the notes, she

965
00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:37,799
Speaker 2: said she recognized she traumatized me and she takes full

966
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,680
Speaker 2: responsibility for it. In my head, I was thinking, I mean, well,

967
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 2: you're not dead, you could change it to legally include me,

968
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 2: but given I'm living with her now, it felt like

969
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,960
Speaker 2: the wrong time to express that thought, as I'm dependent

970
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,320
Speaker 2: on her good will until I find a job and whatnot.

971
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,000
Speaker 2: She's been very generous and kind and helped finance my move,

972
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,280
Speaker 2: so I'm trying not to get too bitter.

973
00:40:57,080 --> 00:40:58,360
Speaker 4: About her will situation.

974
00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,640
Speaker 2: I feel a bit angry at my sister, who didn't

975
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,399
Speaker 2: tell me she got everything. My mother informed me, and

976
00:41:03,440 --> 00:41:07,280
Speaker 2: I confronted my sister and she nervously confessed the papers

977
00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 2: just showed up in the mail.

978
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:09,120
Speaker 4: One day.

979
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:11,439
Speaker 2: I asked if I was getting anything, and she said,

980
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,719
Speaker 2: my aunt left everything to her, So I don't believe this.

981
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:18,239
Speaker 2: Be generous with your sister comment my aunt said was

982
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:21,439
Speaker 2: in her will anyway. I feel guilty that I'm mad

983
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 2: about this, but also feel conflicted too, since she's not

984
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:25,799
Speaker 2: helping me out now.

985
00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, it feels deeply unfair.

986
00:41:27,840 --> 00:41:31,000
Speaker 2: It's not about the money, more so feeling lied and betrayed,

987
00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:33,239
Speaker 2: and that this is some kind of snub and a

988
00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:36,399
Speaker 2: power play. I went above and beyond to get her

989
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 2: help and care for her when no one else did,

990
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 2: and now I've been punished for my good deeds in

991
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,080
Speaker 2: a sense. My sister didn't stop her life to look

992
00:41:44,120 --> 00:41:44,560
Speaker 2: out for her.

993
00:41:44,880 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 7: I did.

994
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,400
Speaker 2: And I think it's crummy that my sister hasn't insisted

995
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:51,120
Speaker 2: with my aunt that changes be made. And I don't

996
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,560
Speaker 2: like that she kept this info from me until I

997
00:41:53,600 --> 00:41:55,840
Speaker 2: confronted her about it. But by the way, I'm a

998
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 2: confront you right now. You should join us live on

999
00:41:58,640 --> 00:42:02,000
Speaker 2: YouTube every weekday at three pm PST. All you gotta

1000
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 2: do is tap our profile. Oh. He also said she

1001
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,040
Speaker 2: had a relationship with her whole childhood where it was

1002
00:42:06,040 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 2: like she was like a second mother to her.

1003
00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:09,880
Speaker 4: So it's like, wow, who knows.

1004
00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:12,200
Speaker 2: It's very hard to say, but I think it's smart

1005
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,759
Speaker 2: not pushing it now that you're relying on her like

1006
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 2: sort of power races.

1007
00:42:16,680 --> 00:42:18,200
Speaker 7: I hope it gets better for you.

1008
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 2: One voicemail claimed she was dying and wanted to know

1009
00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:24,520
Speaker 2: if I wanted anything after she was gone. I felt

1010
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,719
Speaker 2: like it was a manipulation and didn't trust it. She

1011
00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:29,720
Speaker 2: ended up leaving everything to my sister instead, who doesn't

1012
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,359
Speaker 2: have much of a relationship with her. I became unemployed

1013
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:34,000
Speaker 2: and ended up moving in with my OH.

1014
00:42:34,040 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 4: So this is all just like a week here.

1015
00:42:36,080 --> 00:42:38,480
Speaker 2: I'm looking out for her again while I'm here, as

1016
00:42:38,480 --> 00:42:41,960
Speaker 2: she's older and frail. I'm grateful for her current support

1017
00:42:42,040 --> 00:42:45,040
Speaker 2: in living here now, and she's been kind, but I'm

1018
00:42:45,040 --> 00:42:48,959
Speaker 2: dealing with feelings of feeling snubbed and unfairly betrayed given

1019
00:42:49,000 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: what's occurred with the will and inheritance business. What should

1020
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 2: I do? Nothing, I'm feeling kind of heartbroken, to be honest,

1021
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,040
Speaker 2: and that's the end of the story.

1022
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:03,000
Speaker 4: I would front her and try to try and see

1023
00:43:03,040 --> 00:43:04,759
Speaker 4: if you can get don't know, just talk to her,

1024
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:06,400
Speaker 4: be like, hey, I understand you gave it to my sister,

1025
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,360
Speaker 4: but I was I'm the only one in your freaking

1026
00:43:08,400 --> 00:43:10,760
Speaker 4: family that's talking to you. What's up with that? Why?

1027
00:43:11,040 --> 00:43:12,120
Speaker 4: Why are we playing these games?

1028
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 7: That's a delicate tight rope to kind of walk on, though,

1029
00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:16,200
Speaker 7: because it's like you don't want to make her feel

1030
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 7: like I mean, everyone in your family hates you except me,

1031
00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 7: so you might as well give me the money, because

1032
00:43:20,160 --> 00:43:21,319
Speaker 7: then that's gonna make her be.

1033
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:22,840
Speaker 4: Like what, everyone hates me?

1034
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:24,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you don't want to also press it too

1035
00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 2: hard to be like, well, I'm the one who deserves

1036
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 2: to be in the will more than anyone else, because

1037
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:31,279
Speaker 2: then it just I don't know, that's always gonna come

1038
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 2: off abrasive.

1039
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:34,720
Speaker 7: I think from everything we've very clearly, you do deserve

1040
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:35,720
Speaker 7: to be the person.

1041
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but anyway, anyway, that's the end of that story.

1042
00:43:39,200 --> 00:43:42,400
Speaker 4: My sister started a petty argument. Now she's refusing to

1043
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:43,160
Speaker 4: come to my wedding.

1044
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:44,720
Speaker 7: Oh, who's gonna out petty?

1045
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 4: Who? Hi? All looking for some advice on how to

1046
00:43:47,239 --> 00:43:50,120
Speaker 4: handle this situation because I'm on the verge of canceling

1047
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:50,960
Speaker 4: our wedding.

1048
00:43:51,280 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 7: Wow.

1049
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 4: My sister and I have always fought. She bullied me

1050
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,080
Speaker 4: through much of my youth, calling me fat and kicking

1051
00:43:57,120 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 4: me when I was down after a bad breakup, telling

1052
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 4: me I should go off a bridge somewhere. But in

1053
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:06,520
Speaker 4: recent years we have more or less gotten on better

1054
00:44:06,840 --> 00:44:10,280
Speaker 4: terms as she's approached her thirties. My mom always placated

1055
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:13,000
Speaker 4: her and told me I was worse for listening to

1056
00:44:13,040 --> 00:44:16,239
Speaker 4: her hurtful comments and I should take no notice of them.

1057
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 4: But they still stick with me, and they still hurt.

1058
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:22,480
Speaker 4: She has severe anger management issues and has a pattern

1059
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 4: of control and being unstable to bear something not being

1060
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,879
Speaker 4: about her. By the way, this comes from classic fig

1061
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,680
Speaker 4: twelve twenty two on the r size Okay story down Cellbreddit.

1062
00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:34,880
Speaker 4: So when my partner and I got engaged, she announced

1063
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 4: at our drinks celebrations immediately after, I feel so alone

1064
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,240
Speaker 4: in a joking way, but it was not the time

1065
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:43,800
Speaker 4: to be saying such things.

1066
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 7: Yeah, definitely not.

1067
00:44:45,239 --> 00:44:48,399
Speaker 4: She also tried to construct a drama where she said

1068
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:50,160
Speaker 4: she did not want to be made of honor that

1069
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:53,000
Speaker 4: she knew I prefer my best friend anyway. I dealt

1070
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:56,000
Speaker 4: with this by telling her I'd only have bridesmaids and

1071
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,680
Speaker 4: no ranking of it, and I'd of course love her

1072
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:01,799
Speaker 4: to be one despite our trained relationship for my mother's stake.

1073
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 4: From the get goat it was clear she wanted to

1074
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 4: create drama.

1075
00:45:05,719 --> 00:45:09,479
Speaker 7: She's like, why can't I be the number one? Bites made?

1076
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:13,160
Speaker 4: Drama? Drama Loama, drama, drama, Mama. She came to visit

1077
00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 4: me last year. I live in a different country, and

1078
00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 4: through a tantrum the day I had arranged to go

1079
00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:19,680
Speaker 4: looking at dresses with her. It was special to me

1080
00:45:19,760 --> 00:45:21,719
Speaker 4: to have her involved and to be the first one

1081
00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:24,680
Speaker 4: at the moment I looked at dresses. She apologized, but

1082
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:27,959
Speaker 4: the rest of the trip was difficult. She spent most

1083
00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,160
Speaker 4: of it off with friends on a road trip, and

1084
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 4: after storming out of my house for something as basic

1085
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 4: as me not being able to look for a towel

1086
00:45:35,239 --> 00:45:37,680
Speaker 4: for her while I was in a meeting. She texted

1087
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:39,960
Speaker 4: me during the road trip saying she didn't care if

1088
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 4: she saw me again anyway, but asked if she could

1089
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:45,040
Speaker 4: still stay at my house for the last few days

1090
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,920
Speaker 4: of her trip. She announced she'd be arriving at midnight,

1091
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:50,840
Speaker 4: in the middle of my working week. I obviously felt

1092
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,279
Speaker 4: like my house was a hotel at this point and

1093
00:45:53,360 --> 00:45:56,480
Speaker 4: she was only coming to have some place free to

1094
00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 4: stay while she went out with her friends, but I

1095
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,440
Speaker 4: said I'd love to see her and spend time with her. However,

1096
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,600
Speaker 4: she would have to come earlier or stay with her

1097
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:06,439
Speaker 4: friends that night, as I had an important job talk

1098
00:46:06,680 --> 00:46:09,000
Speaker 4: the next day and had to go to bed early.

1099
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:11,520
Speaker 7: Hey, I got responsibilities. I gotta go to bed early.

1100
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:15,040
Speaker 4: I thought this was entirely reasonable since we both lived

1101
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,400
Speaker 4: in the UK. She never allowed me to stay the

1102
00:46:17,480 --> 00:46:20,080
Speaker 4: night at hers in London after taking the train to

1103
00:46:20,160 --> 00:46:23,000
Speaker 4: visit friends because of her work, and I always respected that.

1104
00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,719
Speaker 4: This caused another blow up on her end. I got

1105
00:46:26,760 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 4: a stream of nasty messages saying she was done with

1106
00:46:30,200 --> 00:46:34,080
Speaker 4: me and wasn't coming. She blocked me on everything and

1107
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,160
Speaker 4: loved the country without even saying goodbye. This was very

1108
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,839
Speaker 4: triggering for me, as I survived a narcissistic, very bad

1109
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:44,360
Speaker 4: relationship in my twenties and he would always send bad

1110
00:46:44,440 --> 00:46:47,960
Speaker 4: messages like that and block me so I had no voice.

1111
00:46:48,080 --> 00:46:51,200
Speaker 4: I used to respond to him via email or LinkedIn

1112
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,239
Speaker 4: when that happened, begging him to speak to me. I

1113
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:56,560
Speaker 4: have done a lot of therapy to know that with

1114
00:46:56,760 --> 00:47:00,359
Speaker 4: people like this you just should not respond, so I ignore her.

1115
00:47:00,560 --> 00:47:02,640
Speaker 4: She has a tendacy to blow up and say things

1116
00:47:02,719 --> 00:47:05,040
Speaker 4: she doesn't mean, so I let it go and months

1117
00:47:05,080 --> 00:47:07,680
Speaker 4: later wish her a happy birthday. I eventually chose my

1118
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:10,359
Speaker 4: dress with my mom, who later visited me, and then

1119
00:47:10,400 --> 00:47:13,359
Speaker 4: I thank my sister for contributing to the process. This

1120
00:47:13,440 --> 00:47:16,520
Speaker 4: resulted in me waking up to an essay of very

1121
00:47:16,560 --> 00:47:20,440
Speaker 4: bad messages announcing I needed to apologize for not letting

1122
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 4: her just turn up at my home in the middle

1123
00:47:22,800 --> 00:47:25,680
Speaker 4: of the night at all those months previous, and that

1124
00:47:25,800 --> 00:47:28,680
Speaker 4: she hated me, and to take her message as the

1125
00:47:28,760 --> 00:47:32,480
Speaker 4: final RSVP that she was not coming to my wedding.

1126
00:47:32,640 --> 00:47:36,400
Speaker 2: Wow, what a classy way to uninvite yourself somewhere with

1127
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 2: very nice messages.

1128
00:47:38,120 --> 00:47:40,920
Speaker 4: She then reblocked me so I could not respond. She

1129
00:47:41,040 --> 00:47:44,320
Speaker 4: has a severe need to control, but again I didn't

1130
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:47,160
Speaker 4: plan to respond anyway, since I'm an adult and cannot

1131
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:50,040
Speaker 4: engage in these types of blow ups. My best friends

1132
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 4: since tried to invite her to my bacherette party, and

1133
00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:56,360
Speaker 4: she texted her abusive messages saying she wanted nothing to

1134
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:59,279
Speaker 4: do with me and refused to come. I was so embarrassed.

1135
00:47:59,320 --> 00:48:01,279
Speaker 4: My friends were all very shocked on the day that

1136
00:48:01,320 --> 00:48:03,439
Speaker 4: she didn't show up, but I was grateful for their

1137
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 4: love and support. They know I come from a very

1138
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:10,000
Speaker 4: dispentional family. Over year has gone by and my mother

1139
00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,000
Speaker 4: keeps telling me I need to pick up the phone

1140
00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,279
Speaker 4: to her as she refuses to speak to me otherwise.

1141
00:48:16,520 --> 00:48:19,800
Speaker 4: I am enraged by this level of control. She knows

1142
00:48:19,840 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 4: my mother will be upset on my wedding day if

1143
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 4: she is not there, and thus that the day will

1144
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 4: end up being about her and her insane negativity. She

1145
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 4: wants me to apologize for what This is just a

1146
00:48:32,680 --> 00:48:36,759
Speaker 4: master manipulation course, Oh yeah, setting a boundary that I

1147
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,439
Speaker 4: could not stay up late and asking her to drive

1148
00:48:39,480 --> 00:48:42,319
Speaker 4: here earlier. I feel like she would have constructed this

1149
00:48:42,520 --> 00:48:46,239
Speaker 4: argument about anything. It was always going to happen. She

1150
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,359
Speaker 4: was always sick on my birthdays, and my parents would

1151
00:48:49,400 --> 00:48:51,960
Speaker 4: not celebrate my good grades in high school. At least

1152
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,240
Speaker 4: she feel bad about hers.

1153
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:56,280
Speaker 7: Dude, that sucks. I hate people like that, where.

1154
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,239
Speaker 4: It's like you're not allowed to feel good because I

1155
00:48:58,280 --> 00:49:02,319
Speaker 4: feel bad. That's so silly, bes to manipulated. I was

1156
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 4: always made to minimize, and I just think I deserve

1157
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,120
Speaker 4: a one day in my life to be about me

1158
00:49:07,280 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 4: and my husband. I've had a rough life. She witnessed

1159
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:12,600
Speaker 4: the abuse I went through, and she should be happy

1160
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:15,239
Speaker 4: I have found happiness. I'm also so mad on my

1161
00:49:15,360 --> 00:49:18,040
Speaker 4: mom that she is not appalled that my sister is

1162
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:22,160
Speaker 4: doing this. She keeps saying she's not there and is

1163
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,000
Speaker 4: not getting involved, but then takes trips to see my

1164
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 4: sister and hang out with her and tells me that

1165
00:49:28,120 --> 00:49:31,040
Speaker 4: actions have consequences and that I should pick up the

1166
00:49:31,080 --> 00:49:31,719
Speaker 4: phone to her.

1167
00:49:31,920 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 7: These people are living in backwards land.

1168
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,880
Speaker 4: She always had a Mi Johnny does no wrong attitude

1169
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,000
Speaker 4: towards her. My mom has spent more time controlling the

1170
00:49:41,120 --> 00:49:44,719
Speaker 4: various strangers she wants me to invite than intervening and

1171
00:49:44,840 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 4: telling my sister this behavior is appalling. Yeah, no one

1172
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 4: in your sister's life is ever going to like confront her. Yes,

1173
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:52,279
Speaker 4: it seems like it.

1174
00:49:52,160 --> 00:49:54,880
Speaker 7: Doesn't seem like she's the confrontable type.

1175
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,520
Speaker 4: My partner has tried to contact my sister to media.

1176
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 4: He's very hurt by her behavior too and foreseeing me

1177
00:50:01,080 --> 00:50:03,600
Speaker 4: so upset by this, but he grew up in a

1178
00:50:03,680 --> 00:50:06,720
Speaker 4: functional family and is better as not rising two things.

1179
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:09,160
Speaker 4: He's being very kind to her and appealing to her

1180
00:50:09,239 --> 00:50:11,800
Speaker 4: as her brother in law that he'd love his family

1181
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,319
Speaker 4: to meet her. However, she keeps saying I need to

1182
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:18,439
Speaker 4: contact her, despite blocking me on everything. Honestly, at this point,

1183
00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 4: I am hurt that my sister has done this the

1184
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:23,279
Speaker 4: year of my wedding, and I have nothing good to

1185
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,799
Speaker 4: say to her. I actually think I just don't want

1186
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:29,080
Speaker 4: her there. It feels unrecoverable. The only reason I'd want

1187
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:31,360
Speaker 4: her there would be so my mom does not cry.

1188
00:50:31,520 --> 00:50:33,800
Speaker 4: The morning off, she was already upset that she was

1189
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,440
Speaker 4: not at my bachelorette party and blamed me. Why is

1190
00:50:36,480 --> 00:50:39,160
Speaker 4: it not her fault? It's not all peace fault. It's

1191
00:50:39,200 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 4: the sister's fault. This is crazy, dude, Like they need

1192
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 4: to start making her take accountability. Yeah for her like behavior.

1193
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 4: This is Wackoland upside down topsy turvy Bizarrow. Yes, my

1194
00:50:51,040 --> 00:50:54,720
Speaker 4: dream workplace that I'm living away from home to work

1195
00:50:54,840 --> 00:50:57,600
Speaker 4: at and work towards being at since I was a

1196
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 4: kid is also going through layoffs second round, likely the

1197
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 4: week of our wedding, and I'll lose my job soon,

1198
00:51:04,160 --> 00:51:07,279
Speaker 4: which has been breaking my heart. I was due to

1199
00:51:07,360 --> 00:51:11,400
Speaker 4: be hired there permanently. I am a temporary employee, but

1200
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 4: now I have to look for new jobs and plan

1201
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,760
Speaker 4: moving my life into a news day after this wedding,

1202
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,359
Speaker 4: I may have no income soon. My sister has heard

1203
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 4: this through my mom and still has it reached out.

1204
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 4: Add to that, I have to plan a wedding while

1205
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 4: this petty nonsense is carrying on, and I feel my

1206
00:51:26,920 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 4: family are not there for me. My dad is also

1207
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 4: a backcrap insanoh and shouts in public over minor things,

1208
00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,319
Speaker 4: and I'm worrying about him embarrassing me on the day.

1209
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:39,600
Speaker 4: My mom deals with this by drinking excessively, and I'm

1210
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,600
Speaker 4: afraid she'll be a mess at the wedding yikes, But

1211
00:51:43,040 --> 00:51:44,879
Speaker 4: you don't have to be a mess joining us every

1212
00:51:44,920 --> 00:51:48,680
Speaker 4: weekday live at three PMPSD. Just tap her profile. Do

1213
00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,919
Speaker 4: we just uninvite everybody? Yeah?

1214
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,920
Speaker 2: I think we just have like a secret wedding, just

1215
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:57,080
Speaker 2: a nice secret wedding yep, where no one from your

1216
00:51:57,160 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 2: family's invited, and then have a fake wedding for them

1217
00:51:59,840 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 2: to Yeah, you can give them a fake wedding date

1218
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,279
Speaker 2: for them to show up and be like, wo.

1219
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:04,879
Speaker 4: No, what's here.

1220
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:08,240
Speaker 7: It's because we had the wedding a different day already.

1221
00:52:08,320 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 2: Because you're terrible, everybody, find yourself a good body double.

1222
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,120
Speaker 2: It can get you out of a lot of bad situations.

1223
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,520
Speaker 4: I've been having daily panic attacks, and I feel nothing

1224
00:52:17,600 --> 00:52:20,359
Speaker 4: but dread about our special day. My partner is a

1225
00:52:20,360 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 4: saint for dealing with the stress I'm under. It's costing

1226
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:26,360
Speaker 4: us tens of thousands of dollars, and it feels like

1227
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 4: a waste of money if I am feeling this way

1228
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 4: about it. Exactly, I'm so angry that my family has

1229
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:35,320
Speaker 4: managed to ruin something that should be the most joyous

1230
00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:38,239
Speaker 4: moment of my life. I obviously am struggling to stay

1231
00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:41,440
Speaker 4: in shape with these extreme levels of stress. And resort

1232
00:52:41,640 --> 00:52:45,200
Speaker 4: to medication for this last week, which had me throwing

1233
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,360
Speaker 4: up all week. The hair is falling out t minus

1234
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,200
Speaker 4: four months. Although I love my partner so much, thankfully

1235
00:52:51,320 --> 00:52:54,840
Speaker 4: we are already legally married. Great, oh good job. I

1236
00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 4: feel like the only option not to break down in

1237
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,400
Speaker 4: tears the morning of is to cancel it. I wish

1238
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:03,520
Speaker 4: I could defy all of this and still have a

1239
00:53:03,520 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 4: great day. Does anyone have any advice or has been

1240
00:53:06,040 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 4: through a similar situation? That's it, dang, Honestly, if it's

1241
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 4: like causing you that much stress, just don't invite them.

1242
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:15,359
Speaker 4: If you're already legally married. Yeah, just I wouldn't invite

1243
00:53:15,400 --> 00:53:18,520
Speaker 4: the exclude them, excluding people who are already like ruining

1244
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,640
Speaker 4: your life basically, if you've already spent all this money

1245
00:53:21,680 --> 00:53:23,560
Speaker 4: on it, Like, definitely I wouldn't.

1246
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 7: I wouldn't just like waste that, like burn that.

1247
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 5: You know.

1248
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, my grandma got married without me knowing, and I

1249
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:29,759
Speaker 4: figured it out a few months after.

1250
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well, I mean, hey, sometimes when grandma gets married,

1251
00:53:33,200 --> 00:53:35,400
Speaker 2: she likes to do it, you know, in private.

1252
00:53:35,680 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1253
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:39,920
Speaker 2: The last wedding I went to was one of my aunts,

1254
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:41,759
Speaker 2: and we all knew about.

1255
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:44,560
Speaker 4: It, so Oh that's nice. Good for you.

1256
00:53:45,800 --> 00:53:48,319
Speaker 2: I want my cousin and sister to walk me down

1257
00:53:48,320 --> 00:53:50,959
Speaker 2: the aisle, even though it should be my mom's job.

1258
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:53,000
Speaker 4: Sometimes you need two people for one job.

1259
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 7: Two people, one job.

1260
00:53:55,080 --> 00:53:58,719
Speaker 2: Anyway, for simplicity, everyone's fake names will be as follows.

1261
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,520
Speaker 7: Come on, dude, that's a lot. Come on, do it.

1262
00:54:02,640 --> 00:54:04,640
Speaker 7: Just do it, and just do it, just do it.

1263
00:54:04,960 --> 00:54:07,359
Speaker 7: I'm not even gonna read these, We're just gonna.

1264
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:09,680
Speaker 4: You can read them. Okay, Well, this is the stage.

1265
00:54:09,719 --> 00:54:11,200
Speaker 7: I'm gonna set the stage.

1266
00:54:12,719 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 2: We've got Tammy, my sister, Layla my cousin, Kira my

1267
00:54:16,600 --> 00:54:20,360
Speaker 2: sister in law, my mom, blake At Jackson and Cyprus,

1268
00:54:20,400 --> 00:54:23,399
Speaker 2: who are my brothers. And Mila, a former teacher who

1269
00:54:23,440 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 2: is my friend now and is okay with me calling

1270
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 2: her by her first name. And Fiora, a woman i'm

1271
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:31,040
Speaker 2: chatting with currently. By the way, this comes from user

1272
00:54:31,080 --> 00:54:33,120
Speaker 2: awesome Tiger sixty eight to forty two on the r

1273
00:54:33,200 --> 00:54:37,080
Speaker 2: slash Okay storytime subreddit. So also for more context, my

1274
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:40,319
Speaker 2: sister Tammy is technically my half sister. We have a

1275
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 2: very close relationship, so I just call her my sister.

1276
00:54:43,239 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 2: I don't really need to distinguish if she's my full

1277
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,360
Speaker 2: blood sister or my half sister, because I'd love her

1278
00:54:48,400 --> 00:54:49,440
Speaker 2: all the same no matter what.

1279
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:52,600
Speaker 7: Beautiful Anyway, let's get into this story, all right.

1280
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 2: So I'm a twenty one year old gay woman and

1281
00:54:55,239 --> 00:54:57,360
Speaker 2: also an agnostic atheist.

1282
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,440
Speaker 7: Trust me, this part will be relevant later on.

1283
00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:03,080
Speaker 2: As someone in her early twenties, I've thought a lot

1284
00:55:03,120 --> 00:55:05,399
Speaker 2: about how I'd want my wedding to go, whom I'd

1285
00:55:05,440 --> 00:55:08,040
Speaker 2: want in my bridal party, etc. Even though I'm not

1286
00:55:08,080 --> 00:55:10,560
Speaker 2: getting married for a while. I've been thinking about these

1287
00:55:10,600 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 2: things for a long time. I'm currently talking to Fiora,

1288
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:17,120
Speaker 2: twenty nine trans male to female. I really like this

1289
00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 2: woman and she's really cool. We've been talking for almost

1290
00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,560
Speaker 2: a month and a half. We video chatted a couple times.

1291
00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 2: We're talking on Snapchat and they were a bit awkward.

1292
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 2: We click really well. We were going to meet on

1293
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,920
Speaker 2: April twelfth, but had to cancel because we had issues

1294
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 2: with rides. I'll be honest and say that while Fiora

1295
00:55:34,600 --> 00:55:37,720
Speaker 2: being trans and having started her transition isn't a problem

1296
00:55:37,719 --> 00:55:40,640
Speaker 2: for me, I know it'll be a problem for my family.

1297
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:44,120
Speaker 2: My family is transphobic and thinks that people who are

1298
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:48,000
Speaker 2: trans are lying about their gender identity, especially my mom's

1299
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,520
Speaker 2: side of the family. I know Blake twenty four male

1300
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:52,319
Speaker 2: will be the first to jump on the fact that

1301
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,919
Speaker 2: she wasn't born a female and delegitimize the relationship when

1302
00:55:55,920 --> 00:55:58,120
Speaker 2: he meets her. If she and I do decide we

1303
00:55:58,200 --> 00:56:00,360
Speaker 2: want to date after we're able to meet him person

1304
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 2: for the first time, we haven't even met this person

1305
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 2: in person yet, Yeah, don't even Why are you even

1306
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,280
Speaker 2: talking about her meeting your family?

1307
00:56:07,440 --> 00:56:09,879
Speaker 7: Yeah, you've never met you haven't met her?

1308
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 4: I mean I can't. I mean, I mean, I don't

1309
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,200
Speaker 4: blame him. Sometimes, dude, when I'm O first manager, I'm like, dude,

1310
00:56:15,239 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 4: I'm gonna take you to my family. She's okay with that.

1311
00:56:17,960 --> 00:56:19,640
Speaker 7: But did you meet her yet in person?

1312
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:20,799
Speaker 4: Oh? Yeah, I met her.

1313
00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:22,520
Speaker 7: So that's the differentiation.

1314
00:56:22,680 --> 00:56:24,839
Speaker 4: Like this second after I met her, I was like.

1315
00:56:24,960 --> 00:56:26,799
Speaker 7: Dude, yeah, but you've met her.

1316
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:29,360
Speaker 4: Yeah. But even if that, I would I would be

1317
00:56:29,400 --> 00:56:32,520
Speaker 4: even if even if I saw her across the street

1318
00:56:32,640 --> 00:56:35,719
Speaker 4: and was like whoa, I'd still think those things. Take

1319
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:36,080
Speaker 4: back to.

1320
00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:39,040
Speaker 2: The shucks, that was cute as heck, look at this

1321
00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:41,600
Speaker 2: guy being cute over here. My mom's side of the

1322
00:56:41,640 --> 00:56:45,240
Speaker 2: family is very Catholic because that's how they were raised.

1323
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 2: They always talk about how gay marriage shouldn't be allowed

1324
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 2: in church because of the whole love the sinner, not

1325
00:56:50,360 --> 00:56:53,400
Speaker 2: the sin bs. As a gay woman, I want to

1326
00:56:53,400 --> 00:56:55,880
Speaker 2: speak up and say something every time this happens, but

1327
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:57,759
Speaker 2: I just told my tongue and keep my head down

1328
00:56:57,800 --> 00:56:59,879
Speaker 2: because I'm not trying to out myself to them.

1329
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:02,799
Speaker 4: Oh, they don't know. They don't know.

1330
00:57:03,239 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 2: Also, being an agnostic atheist makes me want to challenge

1331
00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 2: them on their beliefs, but I don't do this either

1332
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 2: because I don't want them or my mom to know

1333
00:57:10,640 --> 00:57:12,439
Speaker 2: that I don't believe in religion. So they just don't

1334
00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:15,800
Speaker 2: know anything about this person. Opie's family knows nothing. Blake

1335
00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,880
Speaker 2: was never supportive of my journey to better understanding myself.

1336
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:21,800
Speaker 2: Kira twenty one female, also hasn't really been supportive of

1337
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:24,080
Speaker 2: me either. I didn't exactly come out to them when

1338
00:57:24,120 --> 00:57:27,120
Speaker 2: I was ready, and when I did, they just interrogated

1339
00:57:27,160 --> 00:57:27,960
Speaker 2: me and belittled me.

1340
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:29,800
Speaker 7: She and I were twenty at the time.

1341
00:57:29,920 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 2: I told my oldest brother, Jackson thirty male, over text,

1342
00:57:33,800 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 2: that I'm gay. I don't think he quite understood what

1343
00:57:35,920 --> 00:57:38,120
Speaker 2: I meant when I told him this he had some

1344
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:42,120
Speaker 2: misplaced concerns about me being gay, I guess, but that

1345
00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,920
Speaker 2: response wasn't as bad as Blake and Kira's response. He

1346
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:46,640
Speaker 2: was twenty nine when I came out to him, and

1347
00:57:46,680 --> 00:57:49,520
Speaker 2: my older brother, Cyprus twenty eight male, doesn't know I'm

1348
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:51,400
Speaker 2: gay yet. I want to tell him, but I have

1349
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:54,440
Speaker 2: my reservations give him Blake and Kira's reaction. I told

1350
00:57:54,480 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 2: my sister Tammy fifty six female, and cousin Leyla, thirty

1351
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,880
Speaker 2: ish female, five months apart from each other. Both had

1352
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 2: perfect reactions to me coming out to them. Leila is

1353
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:07,120
Speaker 2: and has been married to her wife for seven years,

1354
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,680
Speaker 2: so needless to say, she was extremely happy when I

1355
00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 2: came out to her in October of twenty twenty three.

1356
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 7: Bro no kidding. The gay woman married to her wife

1357
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 7: was happy you came out.

1358
00:58:16,760 --> 00:58:21,000
Speaker 4: That's crazy. That is crazy. There's a lot of detail

1359
00:58:21,040 --> 00:58:21,720
Speaker 4: in this story.

1360
00:58:21,920 --> 00:58:24,680
Speaker 2: Given what I've heard, makes sense that most of your

1361
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:26,960
Speaker 2: family doesn't know that you're gay, because they don't sound

1362
00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:30,600
Speaker 2: like they would be very chill about that. I told

1363
00:58:30,680 --> 00:58:33,880
Speaker 2: Tammy five months later, and she was also very happy

1364
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,960
Speaker 2: that I trusted her enough to tell her that I'm gay.

1365
00:58:36,200 --> 00:58:39,280
Speaker 2: She's accepting and supportive. Last May was when I came

1366
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:42,440
Speaker 2: out to Mela thirty two female, and my mom sixty

1367
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:45,479
Speaker 2: one female. Mela is very accepting of me. My mom

1368
00:58:45,520 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 2: said she was supportive, but I've never truly felt like

1369
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:51,200
Speaker 2: she is. I love my mom, However, she said a

1370
00:58:51,200 --> 00:58:53,120
Speaker 2: lot of things in the past that make me think

1371
00:58:53,240 --> 00:58:55,680
Speaker 2: she wouldn't want me to marry a woman. To add

1372
00:58:55,680 --> 00:58:58,680
Speaker 2: a little more context to my and Blake's relationship, I

1373
00:58:58,760 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 2: looked up to him when we were kids, but now

1374
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 2: I can't look up to him anymore. The brother I

1375
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:07,280
Speaker 2: knew as a kid just isn't recognizable anymore. Now he's

1376
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:09,800
Speaker 2: just so hateful and hostile towards me because I'm gay.

1377
00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:12,280
Speaker 2: Kira and I used to be best friends, but now

1378
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:14,800
Speaker 2: we're just in laws. To me, I can't see her

1379
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 2: as my best friend anymore. And there's a whole backstory

1380
00:59:17,280 --> 00:59:19,440
Speaker 2: to that. Maybe I can write a post about that

1381
00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 2: some other time.

1382
00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:20,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, plea.

1383
00:59:21,240 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 2: Now to the part where I'm wondering if i'd be

1384
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 2: the bad apple. I've thought about who I'd want to

1385
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:29,160
Speaker 2: be an active part of my wedding when I got married.

1386
00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 2: I want Tammy and Leyla to walk me down the

1387
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 2: aisle because I'm very close to both of them. I'm

1388
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,800
Speaker 2: close with my mom, but I don't know if i'd

1389
00:59:35,800 --> 00:59:37,440
Speaker 2: want her to be the one to walk me down

1390
00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:39,920
Speaker 2: the aisle. Meela and I are close friends, and I

1391
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:42,080
Speaker 2: see her as a second sister, and I'd love her

1392
00:59:42,120 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 2: to be my maid of honor. I'd also have some

1393
00:59:44,280 --> 00:59:46,560
Speaker 2: of my friends I graduated with and a few of

1394
00:59:46,600 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 2: my other cousins as my bridesmaids. I don't want my

1395
00:59:49,200 --> 00:59:51,440
Speaker 2: mom to be an active part of the wedding, but

1396
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:54,040
Speaker 2: I'd still invite her to my wedding. I want her

1397
00:59:54,040 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 2: to be a guest instead of the one walking me

1398
00:59:56,640 --> 00:59:59,440
Speaker 2: down the aisle. Also, by extension, I don't want to

1399
00:59:59,480 --> 01:00:01,840
Speaker 2: invite Blake can cure it in my future wedding for

1400
01:00:01,960 --> 01:00:05,840
Speaker 2: the obvious reasons. I especially don't want to invite Blake

1401
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:08,440
Speaker 2: because he's threatened me with violence in the past. If

1402
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 2: I don't marry a man, yeah, hey, go ahead and

1403
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:13,160
Speaker 2: don't invite the dude who's gonna threaten you with violence

1404
01:00:13,160 --> 01:00:13,680
Speaker 2: to your wedding.

1405
01:00:13,920 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 4: But technically they were what do you mean they were

1406
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 4: a man? Blake? Blake said, if you don't marry a man,

1407
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:23,720
Speaker 4: it's like technically they.

1408
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:29,440
Speaker 2: Were ah, loophole, loophole, loophole, I'm dating a trans.

1409
01:00:29,160 --> 01:00:29,880
Speaker 7: Male to female.

1410
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm marrying a.

1411
01:00:33,520 --> 01:00:35,440
Speaker 7: I'm marrying a trand.

1412
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:37,080
Speaker 4: But I don't think they'd understand, so that would just

1413
01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:38,000
Speaker 4: make him explode.

1414
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,680
Speaker 2: And we're going to threaten you with violence unless you

1415
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,920
Speaker 2: join us live on YouTube every week.

1416
01:00:44,520 --> 01:00:46,560
Speaker 4: Just tap our freaking profile.

1417
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:48,920
Speaker 7: At three pm ps T every weekday.

1418
01:00:49,120 --> 01:00:49,560
Speaker 4: Just tap it.

1419
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:50,360
Speaker 7: Yeah.

1420
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,640
Speaker 2: No, definitely, don't have that guy come to your wedding,

1421
01:00:52,640 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 2: And honestly, don't anybody who does not support.

1422
01:00:56,440 --> 01:00:58,040
Speaker 7: You as a lesbian.

1423
01:00:58,440 --> 01:00:59,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just gonna make your day easier.

1424
01:01:00,080 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 7: Don't have them there.

1425
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:05,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, I honestly probably probably be leaning on the cousin

1426
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,760
Speaker 4: and the sister to walk you down the aisle. I

1427
01:01:07,800 --> 01:01:10,040
Speaker 4: don't think your mom's gonna take away anybody who's supporting you.

1428
01:01:10,120 --> 01:01:11,520
Speaker 4: I was calling that from all away.

1429
01:01:11,640 --> 01:01:16,000
Speaker 2: Don't have the homophobic family members attend your wedding.

1430
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:18,160
Speaker 4: Because you're not gonna do fun. You're just gonna be

1431
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,840
Speaker 4: wishing the day was over, and everone's gonna be hating

1432
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:21,120
Speaker 4: on you.

1433
01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,360
Speaker 2: I think it's like you've got two sides, right. If

1434
01:01:23,360 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 2: they're there, they're gonna make things a nightmare for you.

1435
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:25,960
Speaker 4: Yep.

1436
01:01:26,080 --> 01:01:27,920
Speaker 7: And then if they're not, you're gonna be like.

1437
01:01:28,240 --> 01:01:30,360
Speaker 2: I wish they could be here, but you're wishing for

1438
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:33,720
Speaker 2: the idealized version of them that don't exist.

1439
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:34,760
Speaker 4: Yeah.

1440
01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,320
Speaker 2: So I don't know, just don't have them, still have them,

1441
01:01:37,360 --> 01:01:39,720
Speaker 2: don't have them, But let's see what happens. I'm looking

1442
01:01:39,720 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 2: for some outside perspectives. I don't think that this would

1443
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:45,919
Speaker 2: make me the bad apple. However, some unbiased perspectives would

1444
01:01:45,960 --> 01:01:48,160
Speaker 2: be very helpful. So would I be the a hole

1445
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,280
Speaker 2: if I have my sister and cousin walk me down

1446
01:01:50,320 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 2: the aisle at my wedding instead of my mom?

1447
01:01:52,200 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 5: Also?

1448
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:54,800
Speaker 2: Would I be the bad apple if I just wanted

1449
01:01:54,800 --> 01:01:57,080
Speaker 2: my mom as a guest and to not invite Blake

1450
01:01:57,160 --> 01:01:57,640
Speaker 2: and Kira.

1451
01:01:57,920 --> 01:01:59,040
Speaker 4: No, those all sound reasons.

1452
01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:01,240
Speaker 7: That all sounds incredibly if your mom.

1453
01:02:01,320 --> 01:02:03,120
Speaker 4: But I know your mom's probably gonna be like, oh

1454
01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:05,840
Speaker 4: my god, you're what is it raised Blake and Kira

1455
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,560
Speaker 4: and just like King Kira have those minds's you know? Yeah,

1456
01:02:08,520 --> 01:02:10,400
Speaker 4: that's it, that's it, all right, Well, that's the ing

1457
01:02:10,440 --> 01:02:13,439
Speaker 4: that story. Yeah, and the end of this episode, is it? Yep?

1458
01:02:13,720 --> 01:02:14,040
Speaker 7: Really?

1459
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 4: Yeah? Dude, Wow, you get so shocked every time we

1460
01:02:16,600 --> 01:02:19,920
Speaker 4: do that. It's so funny. So if you love us,

1461
01:02:19,960 --> 01:02:23,160
Speaker 4: make sure you subscribe. We love you and see it tomorrow.