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Speaker 1: This is John. This is your og okay storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some rocking stories for you coming up.

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Speaker 2: But before you rock out with your socks out, I

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Speaker 2: got a quick two minute ad break from a sponsors,

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Speaker 2: keeping the show rocking and rolling.

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Speaker 3: I want to go to a concert even though my

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Speaker 3: husband is in the hospital.

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Speaker 4: I guess it depends on why he's in the hospital.

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Speaker 3: I was gonna say it depends on the concert. My

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Speaker 3: husband has been in the ICU for over fifty days

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Speaker 3: from complications of a surgery. This sounds serious. I've been

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Speaker 3: by his side literally every single day eight am to

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Speaker 3: six pm since he's been here, and took a leaf

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Speaker 3: from my job to do so. We're financially okay. By

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Speaker 3: the way, this comes from passion of the pizza on

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Speaker 3: the Best of Reddit updates separate. So this has been

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Speaker 3: a very tumultuous hospital stay with many complications. He's finally

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Speaker 3: at a place where he's stable, but due to his

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Speaker 3: surgical site, he is still in the ICU. There's a

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Speaker 3: band coming to town in a month that has been

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Speaker 3: my favorite since middle school, and they don't tour very off.

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Speaker 3: It's kind of a big deal that they're coming through.

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Speaker 3: My plan would be to hang out with him during

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Speaker 3: the day and then go to the concert at night.

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Speaker 4: Honestly, really quick. I think that's fair because I don't

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Speaker 4: want her to burn out because she spent all of

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Speaker 4: her time.

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Speaker 3: You deserve a little concert girl. Of course, if he

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Speaker 3: isn't doing well, I would give my tickets to someone

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Speaker 3: and stay with my husband. I guess I feel guilty

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Speaker 3: enjoying myself when he's stuck in the hospital. Would I

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Speaker 3: be the a hole if I go?

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Speaker 4: I don't think so, But I think have a conversation

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Speaker 4: with your husband.

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Speaker 3: I think I have a conversation too, because you've been

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Speaker 3: there for.

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Speaker 4: Weeks and weeks and week.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Ed, I wanted to clarify some things again because

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Speaker 3: some people keep asking and commenting the same things. One,

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Speaker 3: I'm happily married and do not plan a freaking cheat

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Speaker 3: on my husband at this show. Jesus d I didn't

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Speaker 3: even go there at its REDDA is not I did

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Speaker 3: not even go.

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Speaker 4: There and even thinking that, wow.

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Speaker 3: Two, I will only go if my husband is stable.

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Speaker 3: If he's not, my tickets will go to a friend.

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Speaker 3: Three the concert is after visiting hours end.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, so it's just like it's ohp is feeling guilty

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Speaker 4: about having fun for herself and not being which to

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Speaker 4: take it. She's I mean, like, I totally understand why

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Speaker 4: she is because this is a hard situation, but she

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Speaker 4: shouldn't have to be Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Four, we don't like the same music, so he will

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Speaker 3: not be jealous or have fomo. Five. I bought the tickets.

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Speaker 3: Thank you to everyone who replied, I will be masking

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Speaker 3: up and staying in the back to not be super

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Speaker 3: involved with the crowd.

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Speaker 4: Okay, oh fair, because he's.

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Speaker 3: Making him you no compromise.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Safety first. Six, it's Markie Ramon, not Taylor Sweat.

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Speaker 4: Why didn't everyone just assume it was a tailor woman

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Speaker 4: who's mark I don't know. I'm sorry.

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Speaker 3: Marky got some relevant comments. He when told to be

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Speaker 3: safe wear a mask so she doesn't bring COVID back

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Speaker 3: to the unit, he said, I plan on masking and

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Speaker 3: standing in the back where it isn't so crowded, and honestly,

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Speaker 3: if I start to feel worried about it, I might

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Speaker 3: not even go. It really depends on how my husband

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Speaker 3: is doing. He may even be at an LTAC By then.

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Speaker 3: Has she spoken to her husband about the concert? I

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Speaker 3: just did he can't talk it.

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Speaker 4: She was like, I'm going to a concert and he

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Speaker 4: was like, yeah.

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Speaker 3: He has a trachyostomy.

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Speaker 4: Ah, so it's like the thing when you have the Yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's or maybe he doesn't have the two men and

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Speaker 4: he just had surgery on his.

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Speaker 3: But I told him the band was coming and would

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Speaker 3: he mind, and he shook his head and gave.

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Speaker 4: Me a thumbs up.

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Speaker 3: When told to go, but repay her husband when he's healthy,

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Speaker 3: Obi said, I actually have a vacation fund I've been

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Speaker 3: throwing money into so when he's better, he gets to

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Speaker 3: choose where we go. I should have mentioned that we

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Speaker 3: don't like the same music, so he wouldn't want to

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Speaker 3: go to this show anyway.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I also Opie said that she paid for the tickets,

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Speaker 5: so exactly.

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Speaker 3: Sounds like, Ope, he's covering all the bases.

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Speaker 4: Don't worry, guys, I really want to go to this concert.

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Speaker 3: Got some top comments. AMers said, I'm literally sitting in

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Speaker 3: a hospital bed right now. Go to the concert, not

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Speaker 3: the ahole. What's happening with your husband is unfortunate, but

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Speaker 3: a few hours to decompress yourself after spending something like

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Speaker 3: a thousand hours in the hospital. When you're not even

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Speaker 3: the sick one. You need you time to my dear,

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Speaker 3: I say it again, go to the concert. Okay, is

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Speaker 3: there an update?

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Speaker 4: Yes, well we can discuss before we get into this update.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I totally agree with that comment. I think when you

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Speaker 4: are going, when you have a family or loved one,

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Speaker 4: a family member, loved one who is in the hospital

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Speaker 4: or who is sick and it's going through something, I

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Speaker 4: think a lot of people give kind of everything. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: and you just burn out. And when you're burnout, you

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Speaker 4: can't effectively be there for someone and give time and

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Speaker 4: space for them.

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Speaker 3: You almost start to resent them.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like, oh yeah, which is which you obviously

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Speaker 4: don't want to do. So I think it is important

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Speaker 4: to make sure that you're spending some time on yourself so.

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Speaker 3: That you can be there for other people exactly.

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Speaker 4: So I think, absolutely go to this concert. As long

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Speaker 4: as you're being safe and your you know, husband is

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Speaker 4: not in imminent danger. I think there's nothing nothing stopping you.

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Speaker 3: Imagine he was just like actually going like this, you know,

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Speaker 3: misunderstood my goodness, but uh yeah, I'm with you. It's

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Speaker 3: it's important to enjoy. It's important to enjoy yourself. Life

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Speaker 3: still is going on, you know. So yeah, we got

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Speaker 3: an update, oh, he said. First, I wanted to give

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Speaker 3: a huge thank you to everyone who responded. You were

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Speaker 3: all so kind and I really appreciate those who sent

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Speaker 3: out positive vibes for my husband. This post got picked

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Speaker 3: up by board Panda and they did a mini interview

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Speaker 3: with me. Okay, quick update on my husband. He's doing well.

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Speaker 3: He was sent to an LA LTAC long term acute

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Speaker 3: care facility about a month and a half ago and

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Speaker 3: was weaned off a ventilator within a week. That's amazing.

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Speaker 4: He's are all a good thing. Maybe he can come

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Speaker 4: to the concert that he doesn't want to go to

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Speaker 4: turn up.

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Speaker 3: He still has his trait but is only on oxygen.

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Speaker 3: He's had a few bumps in the road, but overall

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Speaker 3: he's getting stronger every day. And I haven't told him

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Speaker 3: about this post yet, but planned to show him all

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Speaker 3: the well wishes he received. My sister and I made

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Speaker 3: it to the concert. Yes, we stayed all the way

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Speaker 3: in the back as to not be in the crowd

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Speaker 3: and really enjoyed the show. Marky was awesome as usual

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Speaker 3: and it was surreal seeing him drum to songs he

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Speaker 3: helped create back in the day. The Ramones are my

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Speaker 3: all time favorite band of all time ever, so it

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Speaker 3: was just really cool to see him live. All in all,

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Speaker 3: thank you everyone for pushing me to take some time

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Speaker 3: for myself. My husband was very excited for me to

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Speaker 3: go to the show, and I showed him videos and photos.

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Speaker 3: The next day, she's like.

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Speaker 4: Are you excited for me?

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Speaker 3: He's like, Ah, he's just the sweetest man and I'm

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Speaker 3: really lucky to have him in my life.

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Speaker 4: That's so sweet.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And then you know, we've got some relevant comments

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Speaker 3: and positivity and oh, he said he's got some hard

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Speaker 3: months ahead of him, filled with lots of hard work,

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Speaker 3: but I'm really hopeful he's going to recover. I got

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Speaker 3: a call from the hospital the day saying that they

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Speaker 3: helped him into a chair and he stood with a walker.

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Speaker 4: Oh wow, that's yea, And I cried and I would

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Speaker 4: cry if you guys didn't join us live every weekday

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Speaker 4: at three PMPST. You literally just have to tap our profile.

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Speaker 4: But are there any closing thoughts on this story? For real?

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Speaker 4: I just get the next one.

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Speaker 3: I think that these are those are really tough situations

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Speaker 3: to be in when someone is in a really vulnerable state,

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Speaker 3: especially physically. Like, yeah, when you're in a hospital hospital,

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Speaker 3: is there just a weird type of space to be in.

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Speaker 4: Were her husband, It's kind of awful to be in

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Speaker 4: there for fifty days in the ICU, which is you

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Speaker 4: know a lot, and obviously you know people are coming

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Speaker 4: and going, especially Ope is coming for visiting hours, but

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Speaker 4: you know you're kind of it's lonely, I can imagine.

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Speaker 3: And if someone's giving you that much time, obviously, if

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Speaker 3: you would hope that your partner or your family is

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Speaker 3: there for you. But well, not everyone is fortunate enough

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Speaker 3: to those supportive types of people in their lives or.

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Speaker 4: Even I mean not everyone is fortunate enough to have

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Speaker 4: people who can take off that much time exactly. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So the fact that like Op was there and like

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Speaker 3: was having such a hard time, yeah, with this decision,

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Speaker 3: probably means OP has been a really great support absolutely.

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Speaker 4: So I think you're an OP.

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Speaker 3: Glad you got to see Marky.

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Speaker 4: And I hope your husband is okay. Yeah. I divorced

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Speaker 4: my wife two years ago. Now she wants to move

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Speaker 4: back in.

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Speaker 3: Uno reverse card I love Luno.

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Speaker 4: I am a forty five year old man divorced with

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Speaker 4: one daughter, Lily eighteen. My ex wife, Elma, also forty

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Speaker 4: five years old, and I split two years ago after

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Speaker 4: twenty years of marriage. Whoa man, O man?

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Speaker 3: So long?

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Speaker 4: I will admit that I was not am not born,

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Speaker 4: nor will I ever be perfect. I do like to

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Speaker 4: think I was a good husband and am a good father.

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Speaker 4: While married, I did my best, trying to keep up

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Speaker 4: with the majority of the housework sixty forty split on that,

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Speaker 4: with me doing the most while working forty to fifty

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Speaker 4: hours per week.

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Speaker 3: Wow, that's a lie.

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Speaker 4: I tried to be attentive and caring, never forgetting anniversaries,

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Speaker 4: birthdays and so on. I did let my body go

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Speaker 4: a bit as the years went by, and I admit

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Speaker 4: that I am not the most exciting guy in the world.

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Speaker 4: Oh I don't admit that. I don't. Let's sit at

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Speaker 4: yourself still. I listened to my wife and did what

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Speaker 4: I thought she wanted. Slash needed to keep our marriage happy.

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Speaker 4: Thelma seemed happy with me and bragged to her friends

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Speaker 4: saying I was a good husband. I suppose that was

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Speaker 4: a lie. As Thelma decided she wanted to get railed

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Speaker 4: by some thirty year old guy she met at her job.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't expecting that sentence. I was not expecting that sentence.

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Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Cold Coffee nineteen seventy

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Speaker 4: nine on the Best of Reditor Updates sub reddit. So

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Speaker 4: when I caught Alma, I did not try a pigmy dance,

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Speaker 4: suggesting therapy or any of that. I opted to divorce,

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Speaker 4: pressing a cordial termination of our marriage for the sake

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Speaker 4: of our daughter. I remained civil and calm. Thelma was

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Speaker 4: angry that I did not fight to save the marriage,

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Speaker 4: but agreed to a peaceful split. The divorce was quick,

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Speaker 4: and Alma left with seventy five percent of our savings

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Speaker 4: and her car. I kept our house, my old truck,

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Speaker 4: twenty five percent of our savings, and assumed all debt.

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Speaker 4: Custody was fifty to fifty. Our daughter decided to stay

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Speaker 4: with me, with her mother getting visitation. Lily was still underage,

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Speaker 4: was free to visit her mother whenever. I am very

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Speaker 4: proud of my girl and know she can make good,

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Speaker 4: informed decisions on her own. Thelma moved into an apartment

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Speaker 4: with her affair partner, Larry. That was about two years ago.

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Speaker 4: Since then, I have lost the extra weight I put

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Speaker 4: on thirty pounds and have dated some nothing serious, as

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Speaker 4: I have no desire to ever marry again. Well, I

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Speaker 4: mean that's fair trauma after twenty years of marriage, and

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Speaker 4: you know she's once bitten twice shy and all that

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Speaker 4: brings us to this week. Last night I got a

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Speaker 4: call from Lily that Thelma was in the emergency room.

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Speaker 4: A couple of days ago, ooh, Larry began to show

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Speaker 4: his true nature, starting with verbal and emotional abuse. Thelma

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00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,480
Speaker 4: had nowhere to go and her funds were all but

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Speaker 4: gone due to her spending since our divorce.

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Speaker 3: Spent it all in two years.

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Speaker 4: Well, it seems like she didn't. She wasn't in a

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Speaker 4: very good relationship with the person that she cheated on

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00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,040
Speaker 4: him with, so the apartment she was in was in

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00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,640
Speaker 4: Larry's name, so she couldn't go back there. She's currently

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Speaker 4: staying in a cheap hotel room, but will have to

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Speaker 4: leave in the next couple of days due to lack

250
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:16,839
Speaker 4: of money. Her father passed six years ago and her

251
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Speaker 4: mother is in an assisted living home. Her sister lives

252
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Speaker 4: six hundred miles away, and Thelma cannot move due to

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Speaker 4: her job. She has no close friends that can take

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Speaker 4: her in. Our daughter lives in a dorm, so Lily

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00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:30,559
Speaker 4: cannot let Thelma stay there unless she can find someone

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00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,359
Speaker 4: willing to take her in. Soon, Thelma will be homeless

257
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Speaker 4: or in a shelter. Lily called me to ask if

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Speaker 4: I would be willing to let Thelma stay with me

259
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Speaker 4: until Thelma is able to find an apartment or somewhere

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Speaker 4: to go. I am literally the last hope Thelma has.

261
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Speaker 4: Now to my problem, should I open my home to

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Speaker 4: let Elma back in. I'm not so cold hearted as

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Speaker 4: to enjoy Thelma's situation. I am closer to apathy to

264
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Speaker 4: be honest. Part of me wants to simply shrug and say,

265
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,360
Speaker 4: not my monkey, not my circus. Still, I know how

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Speaker 4: bad Lily would hurt to see her mother's suffering and

267
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Speaker 4: on the street. I have talked to friends and family

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Speaker 4: with answers ranging from you have room, so move her in,

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00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:08,760
Speaker 4: to pay her first month and deposit on an apartment,

270
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:11,559
Speaker 4: to screw her and her ugly tattoo. There was one

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Speaker 4: friend of mine that said move her in and make

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Speaker 4: her pay with booty. That's a bad friend, right, Get

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Speaker 4: rid of that friend and make her pay with it

274
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Speaker 4: his booty. Yeah, alright, but he is the dumb butt

275
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Speaker 4: friend we all ignore. You should get rid of this friend.

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Speaker 4: I am going to go ahead and try to head

277
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Speaker 4: off what I am guessing will be questions people may ask.

278
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Speaker 4: Thelma may have cheated, but she is a good mother.

279
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Speaker 4: Thelma's not a narc or evil person. She is a

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Speaker 4: human that did something selfish and spid. I have forgiven her,

281
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Speaker 4: but I'm not forgotten. There is zero chance that I

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Speaker 4: end up back with Thelma. That ship sailed, ran into

283
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Speaker 4: an iceberg, burst into flames, and was then attacked by

284
00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:50,280
Speaker 4: a mechanical megalodon before it's Thelma has wanted to escape

285
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:52,440
Speaker 4: Larry for a long time, but did not have a

286
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Speaker 4: chance until he was arrested. Wow, he's currently sitting in

287
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,200
Speaker 4: lock up, unable to post bail. She's getting some sort

288
00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,520
Speaker 4: of protective order. I have no idea if they still

289
00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:03,120
Speaker 4: work together. Work together, I hope not. Yeah.

290
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Speaker 3: He was a coworker, right, that's great.

291
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,280
Speaker 4: I hope the job fired him.

292
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, hopefully four hour edits.

293
00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:10,960
Speaker 4: Thanks to all of you for your replies so far.

294
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Speaker 4: I will be meeting with Thelma as soon as her

295
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,200
Speaker 4: shift ends. We're going to waffle house, and this will

296
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Speaker 4: be the first real conversation I've had with her in

297
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:19,960
Speaker 4: over a year. I kept contact to text only and

298
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,400
Speaker 4: focused on Lily until now. I am also working on

299
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,920
Speaker 4: an option that will keep her from being homeless, but

300
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,880
Speaker 4: keep her out of my house. One other point, some

301
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,480
Speaker 4: comments have assumed negative characteristics of Thelma that are not true.

302
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,680
Speaker 4: I do not hate this woman. I do not care

303
00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:35,199
Speaker 4: for her as I once did, but I do not

304
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,360
Speaker 4: hate her. She's an excellent mother, and aside from her affairs,

305
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:40,480
Speaker 4: she was a good wife. Still in fidelity is not

306
00:12:40,600 --> 00:12:42,920
Speaker 4: something I can have in my relationship, so I divorced her.

307
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:46,760
Speaker 4: My daughter understands and supports my decision to never rekindle

308
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,720
Speaker 4: my romance with Thelma. My sole goal is my daughter's

309
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Speaker 4: well being, and for that nothing is off the table.

310
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Speaker 3: I'll just say, here is enough.

311
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Speaker 4: Yeah.

312
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,600
Speaker 3: Just him saying all of that, though, makes me feel like,

313
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Speaker 3: why would it be such a big deal to just

314
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Speaker 3: have her stay in there?

315
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Speaker 4: Yeah, he's pretty you know, big on emphasizing you know,

316
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,400
Speaker 4: she's not a monster. She was a good wife and

317
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Speaker 4: a good mother. I feel apathy about the situation now.

318
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:09,559
Speaker 4: I think he just just needs to decide what he's

319
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Speaker 4: comfortable with, right, You know, if it's gonna make him

320
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,320
Speaker 4: really uncomfortable to have her stay in the house. Then

321
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Speaker 4: maybe finding as I said, like another hotel or something

322
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,480
Speaker 4: that she can stay in, or helping her get a

323
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Speaker 4: new apartment, And if he feels uncomfortable giving her that money,

324
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Speaker 4: then maybe it's.

325
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Speaker 5: Like a lone situation, right.

326
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Speaker 4: I think there's a lot of different solutions where he's

327
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Speaker 4: not just abandoning her, which again he has a right

328
00:13:31,920 --> 00:13:34,719
Speaker 4: to do. But I understand his feelings of like, this

329
00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:35,559
Speaker 4: is my daughter's mother.

330
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Speaker 3: But what do you think I would say because of

331
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Speaker 3: their history and because like obviously the cheating hurt him

332
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Speaker 3: so much. But it's like, like you said, she's not

333
00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,560
Speaker 3: a bad mom, she's not a bad person. I would

334
00:13:46,640 --> 00:13:49,560
Speaker 3: be like, hey, you can stay here for six months.

335
00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:50,880
Speaker 6: That's six months.

336
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,880
Speaker 3: Maybe that's too nice. You can stay here for three

337
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,920
Speaker 3: months max. And once we hit this date, you're out.

338
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,880
Speaker 4: Think you could even say I think you would be

339
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,040
Speaker 4: you know, in your right to be able to say

340
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,040
Speaker 4: you can stay here for you know, three months, whatever

341
00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,680
Speaker 4: your max's But I want you to actionably be trying

342
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:12,160
Speaker 4: to find a job, trying to find a way. Yeah,

343
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,160
Speaker 4: this is not just like us. Yeah, I think that's

344
00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,640
Speaker 4: very fair to say. Yeah, but there is an update,

345
00:14:17,880 --> 00:14:21,000
Speaker 4: so let's get into it. Two weeks later, years ago,

346
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,440
Speaker 4: my father bought a house for his younger brother, who

347
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:26,600
Speaker 4: has dealt with mental and physical issues his entire life.

348
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:29,120
Speaker 4: My father, in his later years, added my name to

349
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,440
Speaker 4: the deed to help ensure someone could keep a roof

350
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:33,760
Speaker 4: over my uncle's head. Now that my uncle is getting

351
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,680
Speaker 4: older and has retired, he wants to move in with

352
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,440
Speaker 4: his sister and live in a basement apartment at her house.

353
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,880
Speaker 4: That will be perfect for him. The initial plan was

354
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:43,160
Speaker 4: for us to sell the house and give half the

355
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:46,520
Speaker 4: cell price to my uncle. Plans changed. It cost me

356
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,600
Speaker 4: quite a bit, but I bought out my uncle's half

357
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,040
Speaker 4: of the property, removing him from the deed. I added

358
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,400
Speaker 4: Lily and my daughter as owner to the property, which

359
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,440
Speaker 4: now has my name and hers that almost signed a

360
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,400
Speaker 4: rental agreement and has moved in there, paying a small

361
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,120
Speaker 4: amount of rents. This is, I think, the perfect situation.

362
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:06,400
Speaker 3: That's really still so nice. This is so nicely nice.

363
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 4: But also one, oh he's not really you know, in

364
00:15:09,560 --> 00:15:11,840
Speaker 4: their space. I mean, oh, she's not into space. Oh

365
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,560
Speaker 4: he's not having to really pay you know. This is

366
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,720
Speaker 4: given like a house given to him. Maybe they have

367
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,160
Speaker 4: to pay mortgage. Is that what they said.

368
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 3: It's a great situation. It's a great.

369
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 4: Situation, and he's getting rent. It's still so generous, incredibly generous. Yeah,

370
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 4: this is still the Angel move for you.

371
00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:26,800
Speaker 3: Yeah.

372
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:29,680
Speaker 4: Yeah. This takes care of Thelma's living situation, keeps her

373
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:31,840
Speaker 4: out of my house, and sets up Lily for the

374
00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:33,880
Speaker 4: future with a place of her own should she ever

375
00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:37,240
Speaker 4: need one. Lily is extremely happy with the setup, knowing

376
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,120
Speaker 4: her mom is safe and has a place to live.

377
00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,760
Speaker 4: The rent is little far lower than the market, but

378
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,360
Speaker 4: it covers insurance and other upkeep. Thelma is using her

379
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,600
Speaker 4: employer's assistance program for some therapy visits to deal with

380
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,160
Speaker 4: some mental health issues after living with Larry. I am

381
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:52,720
Speaker 4: one hundred percent sure she is over him and will

382
00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:54,880
Speaker 4: not be welcome in her life. Over the past two

383
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,840
Speaker 4: weeks I have seen Thelma is a changed woman. I

384
00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,680
Speaker 4: don't quite know how to word it, but she seems

385
00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,120
Speaker 4: more than thankful for what she has and less impulsive. Ah,

386
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,880
Speaker 4: that's great. More than anything, she seems focused on trying

387
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:08,240
Speaker 4: to fix her life. That leaves me. My kid is

388
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,680
Speaker 4: happy and I got her prime for a good life. Yes,

389
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 4: a cost, but it was just money.

390
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 5: Ope is such a good person.

391
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:17,480
Speaker 4: Great. If it means I have to work a few

392
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,000
Speaker 4: more years, so be it. In the end, it will

393
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,160
Speaker 4: be worth it to give my princess the best launch

394
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,360
Speaker 4: into the world I can give her.

395
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,080
Speaker 5: Ah, this is sweet.

396
00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:28,200
Speaker 4: A few days ago I was in a minor accident,

397
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,320
Speaker 4: leaving me a little banged up. Alma came over to

398
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:32,960
Speaker 4: cook for me and we talked for quite a while.

399
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,480
Speaker 3: Watch them get back together?

400
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,480
Speaker 1: Are you sure?

401
00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:38,600
Speaker 4: What are you sure?

402
00:16:38,920 --> 00:16:41,560
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that would be such a good story.

403
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 4: Opie's like I would never get with her. We discussed

404
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,320
Speaker 4: where we are with our lives and so on. She

405
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:52,440
Speaker 4: is still a beautiful woman inside and out. I know

406
00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 4: people are quick to condemn cheaters to be branded with

407
00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,240
Speaker 4: scarlet letters and be beyond forgiveness. Granted, there are some

408
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,160
Speaker 4: terrible people out there that infidelity. Thelma is not one

409
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,000
Speaker 4: of them. She's a good person that did something very

410
00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,199
Speaker 4: selfish and stupid. She's paid for it.

411
00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:08,600
Speaker 3: They're getting to both.

412
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,120
Speaker 4: Lily and I have forgiven her time to move on.

413
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,320
Speaker 4: I had a question about what happens if Thelma starts

414
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:18,080
Speaker 4: dating again? Oh well, so what she's not my wife anymore.

415
00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:21,040
Speaker 4: We're not in any sort of committed relationship. She's free

416
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 4: to date or not as she desires. As far as

417
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,920
Speaker 4: me and Thelma getting back together, the answer is no.

418
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,520
Speaker 4: You know, okay, fine freaking married. Believe there you were

419
00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,320
Speaker 4: making me think. Yeah, I will never marry again anyone

420
00:17:33,359 --> 00:17:35,760
Speaker 4: for any reason. I am burned on the concept and

421
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 4: will not bind myself to someone that way. You don't

422
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 4: have to marry.

423
00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:40,800
Speaker 3: Her, I know, and like you guys were already married,

424
00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:41,760
Speaker 3: so does it really count.

425
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, I really don't think I want to be in

426
00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:47,800
Speaker 4: a committed relationship either. No, I'm not bitter. I am

427
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:49,840
Speaker 4: happy for the friends and family that I have in

428
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,399
Speaker 4: marriages and the like that I cannot bring myself to

429
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,160
Speaker 4: get into that sort of situation again.

430
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, at asked.

431
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 4: I may date casually or have a friends with benefits

432
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:04,320
Speaker 4: situation should the opportunity arise. Otherwise I'm solo, okay, and

433
00:18:04,400 --> 00:18:08,920
Speaker 4: that is the end of this story. But boy, oh boy,

434
00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:11,760
Speaker 4: what a happy what a happy Yay.

435
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,639
Speaker 3: I'm gonna need them to get back together, but what

436
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,879
Speaker 3: a happy whatever or whatever?

437
00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:19,200
Speaker 4: Yeah that was nice. Yeah, if only like they got

438
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,760
Speaker 4: the house from the uncle and now both Opie's daughter

439
00:18:22,960 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 4: gets a house, you know, when she's older, but also

440
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,840
Speaker 4: if that only gets a place to live in the meantime.

441
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it feels like a more stable situation and

442
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,240
Speaker 3: like Op's daughter can now connect with mom.

443
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,439
Speaker 4: But yeah, op handled it really well. I don't think that,

444
00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 4: you know, a lot of people in this situation would

445
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,879
Speaker 4: have made those same kind of moves, and it shows

446
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 4: I think o Pee's kindness. Yeah, so you know what,

447
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 4: keep being you, Opie. If you don't want to date,

448
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:47,280
Speaker 4: that's okay.

449
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 3: But if you do want to date your ex wife,

450
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:49,600
Speaker 3: go for it.

451
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,119
Speaker 4: Support it too. Yeah, but that is the end of

452
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,040
Speaker 4: that story, and we also would support you guys joining

453
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,720
Speaker 4: us live every weekd at three PMPSD. Just stop our brother.

454
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,800
Speaker 1: I didn't answer an email, so I got fired?

455
00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:03,199
Speaker 6: Am I the a hole answer?

456
00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:03,960
Speaker 1: It? Definitely.

457
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,080
Speaker 2: I've been at my new job for just over a

458
00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:08,400
Speaker 2: month and have very grave doubts about whether it's going

459
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,360
Speaker 2: to work out, and finding it impossible to make my supervisor,

460
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:15,240
Speaker 2: Martha happy, for criticism is frequent, harsh, and in my opinion,

461
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:18,679
Speaker 2: often very unreasonable. The incident that has me writing to

462
00:19:18,720 --> 00:19:22,160
Speaker 2: you to tappened today when she reprimanded me in writing

463
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:25,000
Speaker 2: for failing to answer an email in four minutes.

464
00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: How could you do that? Respond?

465
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,800
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from lexex from the art

466
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 2: side to Okay Storytime subride tout. I set the scene

467
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,600
Speaker 2: earlier this week. Martha and my other boss I support

468
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:38,080
Speaker 2: two teams, but it's an uneven split. Unfortunately, my primary

469
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,199
Speaker 2: boss is the awful one. Had a meeting with me

470
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,480
Speaker 2: in which Martha told me all the things I was

471
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,080
Speaker 2: doing wrong and what needed to change. I'm trying to

472
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 2: understand where she's coming from, but I'm just not used

473
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,560
Speaker 2: to a work situation like this. She proudly describes herself

474
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:53,199
Speaker 2: as a micromanager. She doesn't appear to know that the

475
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 2: word has a negative connotation. Dude, that's I mean, come on, man,

476
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:57,720
Speaker 2: I'm going to make.

477
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,400
Speaker 6: Sure that you're doing every single thing right, and I'll

478
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,200
Speaker 6: be there by your to make sure you're doing that.

479
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,399
Speaker 2: You gotta know the fact that she doesn't know that

480
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:06,720
Speaker 2: that's like use in a negative context, and she is

481
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 2: looking for constant immediate responsiveness quote unquote over communication her

482
00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,440
Speaker 2: words and accountability. I understand she's the boss and it's

483
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,520
Speaker 2: her call, but it's a hard adjustment. I'm not used

484
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 2: to being watched so closely. Every job I've had, the

485
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,560
Speaker 2: boss has been concerned with the results, not knowing exactly

486
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:22,959
Speaker 2: where I am every minute, hearing back from me instantly,

487
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 2: et cetera. Now, all week, I've been trying hard to

488
00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:27,520
Speaker 2: keep her happy and show her that I took the

489
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,639
Speaker 2: conversation to heart. Then today I received an email on

490
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 2: which Martha was c seed from a senior partner asking

491
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,080
Speaker 2: for contact info for one of our clients. I saw

492
00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:38,560
Speaker 2: the email while I was working on a project for

493
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,800
Speaker 2: the other boss. I made the apparently grave error of

494
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,000
Speaker 2: not stopping instantly, but instead finishing the line in the

495
00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:46,159
Speaker 2: excel sheet I was working on.

496
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:49,720
Speaker 6: No, I'm very ud priorities my priority priorities.

497
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 1: Don't you know that? Uh? You should stop everything.

498
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 6: Run I'm working. I'm working and working.

499
00:20:55,560 --> 00:21:00,399
Speaker 2: Hey Riley for Cord Cord right now, be an entertainer.

500
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 1: Nice work, That's how it's done.

501
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,320
Speaker 2: Then I opened the email and began gathering the requested info.

502
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 2: Before I finished, Martha had replied to both of us,

503
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,600
Speaker 2: sending the partner the requested information the wrong information for

504
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,400
Speaker 2: the record, but I'll get to that later. I saw

505
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,080
Speaker 2: her email, which arrived in my inbox A whopping four

506
00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:20,640
Speaker 2: minutes after the email from the partner, I stopped working

507
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 2: on my response since it was no longer necessary, and

508
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:23,720
Speaker 2: went back to the.

509
00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:24,719
Speaker 1: Project I was working on.

510
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:27,200
Speaker 2: Then I got an email from Martha Jane, this would

511
00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,679
Speaker 2: have been a great opportunity to build a relationship with

512
00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:30,080
Speaker 2: the partner.

513
00:21:30,119 --> 00:21:33,119
Speaker 6: Why didn't you dive in assesst bro I just wondered

514
00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:33,920
Speaker 6: what Martha said.

515
00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:38,040
Speaker 2: She's like, spread them sheets, She's like, on it mac

516
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:43,119
Speaker 2: everything I need that d delivered Now. I just feel

517
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 2: like she's determined to hate me. I try so hard

518
00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:47,600
Speaker 2: all week to do everything exactly the way she likes,

519
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,920
Speaker 2: and she still found something to criticize. If she wanted

520
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 2: me to answer the email, why didn't she give me

521
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,359
Speaker 2: a grace period of you know, maybe five minutes before

522
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:57,240
Speaker 2: answering herself. Also, as I said earlier, she gave him

523
00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,639
Speaker 2: the wrong information. He asked for the email address, and

524
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 2: she gave him the physical address. Dude, that's a pretty

525
00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 2: wackmus day. Yeah, Like I could see grabbing maybe the

526
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,960
Speaker 2: wrong like, oh, what's the physical address of a place?

527
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 1: And she grabs the wrong physical address? But email versus.

528
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,000
Speaker 6: Like, hey, what's a good email? To add you to

529
00:22:13,119 --> 00:22:14,080
Speaker 6: this like you know.

530
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:18,159
Speaker 2: Cubon one two three Jury Lane, which to me seems

531
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,719
Speaker 2: like she was so eager to answer the email so

532
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,359
Speaker 2: that she could blame me for not answering it, and

533
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 2: she rushed and sent the wrong info. By the way,

534
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 2: if I sent incorrect information to a partner, she would

535
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 2: act like it was the end of the world.

536
00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:32,000
Speaker 1: But it's no big deal when she does it.

537
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 2: Also, for the record, I understand that some things are

538
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,360
Speaker 2: very time sensitive. I still think four minutes is kind

539
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:40,000
Speaker 2: of a stretch for almost any situation. But I also

540
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:42,680
Speaker 2: want to make it clear this was not an urgent request.

541
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:46,760
Speaker 2: It could have waited five, maybe even ten minutes. No,

542
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 2: how dare you suggest that the thing ten minutes? That's

543
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:54,960
Speaker 2: a blasphemy to bureocracy. I'm not asking whether my boss

544
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,280
Speaker 2: is being reasonable here. I'm very confident that she is not.

545
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:01,160
Speaker 2: My question to you is, do you think I should

546
00:23:01,200 --> 00:23:03,320
Speaker 2: just start looking for a new job. I feel like

547
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:06,840
Speaker 2: this is such an unreasonable criticism that there's no way I'm.

548
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: Ever going to make this person happy.

549
00:23:08,600 --> 00:23:10,760
Speaker 2: She either has no idea how to manage people or

550
00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,760
Speaker 2: has developed an insatious hatred for me and will continue

551
00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:16,920
Speaker 2: to find things to criticize no matter how hard I try.

552
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 2: I've been so stressed out ever since I started this job,

553
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 2: worrying about messing up, which not surprisingly is probably leading

554
00:23:23,080 --> 00:23:25,800
Speaker 2: to me messing up more. Is this salvageable or should

555
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,639
Speaker 2: I start looking for an escape plan? We have an

556
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 2: update where we get the answer. I think of what

557
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,040
Speaker 2: direction that opta?

558
00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,399
Speaker 6: Dude, I would go to Martha's boss and be like,

559
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,879
Speaker 6: how in the world did you hire this person? M

560
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 6: What in your right mind were you thinking?

561
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: That's interesting?

562
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:46,840
Speaker 2: So, yeah, go to the other boss or HR or

563
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,320
Speaker 2: something and be like, hey, here's what's happening. I guess

564
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 2: the only Yeah, I think that works because, like, thinking

565
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:53,879
Speaker 2: through it, there is a scenario where they're like, oh,

566
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:56,639
Speaker 2: she's doing fine, and then Martha just like tortures you

567
00:23:56,720 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 2: times ten. But then you probably want to leave anyways

568
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000
Speaker 2: by then, right, Oh, it's kind of like if you're

569
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:03,639
Speaker 2: already thinking of leaving and it's like, hey, maybe I

570
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 2: can salvage it, might as well just like shoot my

571
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 2: shot and see what they say.

572
00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:09,760
Speaker 6: Yeah, if I was Martha's boss, I'll probably get her

573
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 6: in a Dell Carnegie class so she would understand how

574
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 6: to like communicate with people, even though it's manipulative. I'm

575
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,199
Speaker 6: all connotations about that. I think it would help other

576
00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:20,200
Speaker 6: people's kills. Yeah, and Martha's Martha's people skills, Martha's people's skills.

577
00:24:20,240 --> 00:24:20,440
Speaker 2: Yeah.

578
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 6: Yeah, because Opie's like doing what's supposed to do. Martha's

579
00:24:23,080 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 6: like yeah. But also, this has happened to op It's

580
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:28,600
Speaker 6: gotta be happening to everybody else.

581
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:29,280
Speaker 1: That's true.

582
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:31,600
Speaker 6: That's true, unless it's conspiracy theory.

583
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:32,159
Speaker 1: I don't know.

584
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 2: I think that is a totally reasonable plan, But I'm

585
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 2: also like, is it worth it? I mean, maybe it's

586
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,240
Speaker 2: really hard. I don't know, we don't know what industry

587
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 2: she's in or any context. Maybe it's I would definitely,

588
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 2: no matter what, I would start looking at jobs right now,

589
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:46,200
Speaker 2: just as a backup, just in case everything it's a fan.

590
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:50,040
Speaker 6: Okay, Yes, you need a reference, and that's the reference,

591
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 6: and she's already looking. You're late on responding. You're not

592
00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:54,760
Speaker 6: doing this, you're not doing that.

593
00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:56,640
Speaker 1: Have you ever had a reference in your life. I've

594
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,120
Speaker 1: literally never had a reference in the Yeah.

595
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 6: I used my uncle a few tones for reference. Yeah,

596
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 6: whenever I got an internship with Devil Carnegie.

597
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, so your response was really helpful. Martha had already

598
00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:07,920
Speaker 2: aft with my head so much show that I honestly

599
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,159
Speaker 2: thought you might take her side and ask me.

600
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:12,480
Speaker 1: But why did it take four whole minutes answer the email?

601
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:16,159
Speaker 2: M that's what I'm asking, uh so for you and

602
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: the commenters to reassure me that, yes, she was being

603
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 2: unreasonable was really helpful. As for an update, dear reader,

604
00:25:22,440 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 2: she fired me. Yes, I took your advice and started

605
00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 2: looking for a new job. She fired me before I

606
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,199
Speaker 2: could find one. The four minute email happened about a

607
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,399
Speaker 2: month after I started.

608
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 6: That's good, that's good. Yeah, she fired you. She made

609
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 6: the decision severance. You get a severance package, hopefully, hopefully, hopefully.

610
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 6: Let's see.

611
00:25:38,280 --> 00:25:41,080
Speaker 1: And I got fired just under the three month mark.

612
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,200
Speaker 2: The reason given was that I was making too many

613
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,919
Speaker 2: mistakes and that they couldn't trust me with my assignments.

614
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,600
Speaker 2: I'm curious how it's going with my replacement. If things

615
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:51,159
Speaker 2: like accidentally saving a draft of the wrong folder in

616
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,560
Speaker 2: your first month at my new job qualifies as a

617
00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 2: fireable offense. Yikes, Golly, that's pretty tough. I did mess

618
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,000
Speaker 2: up sometimes more than I normally do, but I think

619
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,639
Speaker 2: it's because of how Martha treated me. She was so

620
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,840
Speaker 2: volatile that I didn't feel comfortable asking questions, and she

621
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,359
Speaker 2: would just disappear fairly often she can disappear for three hours.

622
00:26:10,440 --> 00:26:12,439
Speaker 2: I'm in trouble for missing a phone call because I

623
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 2: was using the restrooms. So a lot of times I

624
00:26:14,680 --> 00:26:17,480
Speaker 2: had to make my best guess, and yes, amazingly, my

625
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 2: best guess was always wrong. She was always coming after

626
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,879
Speaker 2: me in art with artificially compressed deadlines, so I usually

627
00:26:23,880 --> 00:26:26,119
Speaker 2: had to send her work without having the amount of

628
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 2: time i'd prefer to proofread, double check, et cetera. Sometimes

629
00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,400
Speaker 2: I thought she was moving the goalpost. Often she would

630
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,679
Speaker 2: say I told you to do X, not why, And

631
00:26:34,720 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 2: I think though I'd never say it out loud, least

632
00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:39,880
Speaker 2: I faced her wrath. I don't think you did actually,

633
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,199
Speaker 2: And sometimes it was one hundred percent clear that she

634
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,320
Speaker 2: was just inventing reasons to brek me. See example the

635
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 2: four minute email exhibit A. When I got the email

636
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 2: I wrote to you about, I knew the down that

637
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 2: she was never going to let up. Clearly she would

638
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 2: find something to criticize, whether I did something wrong or not.

639
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: Do you agree with that?

640
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:57,399
Speaker 3: Oh?

641
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too.

642
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, and in the end to probably fire me or

643
00:27:01,560 --> 00:27:04,800
Speaker 2: bully me until I quit. That played out many times

644
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 2: in the weeks before my firing. If I made a

645
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,880
Speaker 2: minor mistake, she lost her mind. If I didn't make

646
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,680
Speaker 2: a mistake, she would invent one. For example, she would

647
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 2: email me to say things like, this meeting has been

648
00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:17,720
Speaker 2: over thirty minutes. By this point, you should have emailed

649
00:27:17,720 --> 00:27:19,919
Speaker 2: me to ask what our next steps are. Maybe, but

650
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 2: see above rehesitancy to initiate contact with volatile boss who

651
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 2: finds fault with everything I say or do. That's like

652
00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:29,280
Speaker 2: corporate speak for f you bro get off mine. D

653
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 2: I absolutely couldn't win and it was horrible, stressful and demoralizing.

654
00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that's tie. At least she got fired. Hopefully

655
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,400
Speaker 1: we see if there it was a seference, hopefully part

656
00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 1: of it.

657
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,120
Speaker 2: The good news is that I did find another job

658
00:27:42,240 --> 00:27:43,480
Speaker 2: that I'm much happier with.

659
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:44,160
Speaker 6: Oh good.

660
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 2: Although the first few weeks were very tough as I

661
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,639
Speaker 2: tried to put the experience with Martha behind me, I

662
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,280
Speaker 2: was afraid to ask questions dude, Opie's got work PTSD,

663
00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 2: oh work, trauma, dude.

664
00:27:55,280 --> 00:27:57,640
Speaker 6: Big or traumas I wonder what kind of work drama.

665
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,440
Speaker 1: We have oh naming files.

666
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:04,880
Speaker 2: See, yeah, you guys, it's definitely got that job.

667
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:07,880
Speaker 1: Moving podcast platforms.

668
00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 2: If Riley ever has to move a podcast platform again,

669
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 2: we just might lose the ladies and gentlemen.

670
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,040
Speaker 1: So we're not going to do that.

671
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 6: He getting John to do obs.

672
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,760
Speaker 1: Getting me to do obs, Yeah, Obs was was trauma

673
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:21,000
Speaker 1: for me.

674
00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I lost a twelve hour recording day on Obs.

675
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 1: But you know, I hate it's going so great.

676
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:27,400
Speaker 6: We figured it out.

677
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,560
Speaker 2: You know, I need to be open minded. It was great,

678
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 2: It was fantastic. So I thought I was about to

679
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,440
Speaker 2: be fired every time I made a mistake.

680
00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,320
Speaker 6: Oh man, that's that's that's tough. You are loved and

681
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 6: you were valued.

682
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 2: Yes, But as time went by and it became clear

683
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 2: to me that I was now working with reasonable people,

684
00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:45,600
Speaker 2: it got much better.

685
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:46,760
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't get out in time.

686
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:50,000
Speaker 2: I'm grateful for you and the commenters because, as I said,

687
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 2: it helped me to keep some perspective in the face

688
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,480
Speaker 2: of doing her best to destroy my faith and my

689
00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:59,360
Speaker 2: basic competency. But you know what always raises your basic competency.

690
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 2: I guess live every weekday at three PMPST. Tap the profile,

691
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 2: so I really wish this hadn't happened to me. And

692
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 2: while I'm happy in my new job, and it's a

693
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:11,080
Speaker 2: bump in both title and salary, Oh that is huge, huge,

694
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,160
Speaker 2: w I actually now have Martha's job title.

695
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:15,840
Speaker 1: Seriously suck at Martha.

696
00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:18,920
Speaker 6: Oh yes, right, I hope you guys are competitors.

697
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:20,280
Speaker 1: Dude, right, that would be amazing.

698
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:20,840
Speaker 6: Peak.

699
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:25,240
Speaker 2: Imagine Martha's company folds, they get acquired, and then Op

700
00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 2: is now her boss in a hostile takeover.

701
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 1: Now that would be fire. And then she's like, you.

702
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 2: Didn't answer the answer this email in five seconds?

703
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 6: What's going on?

704
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 1: Fired? That'd be great.

705
00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 2: I would never say it happened for a reason or

706
00:29:38,160 --> 00:29:40,360
Speaker 2: that I'm grateful for it in any way. The fact

707
00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:42,960
Speaker 2: that someone could bully me like this, be one hundred

708
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,240
Speaker 2: percent in the wrong, fire me and get away with

709
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 2: it all is really hard to accept. But all I

710
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 2: can do is look forward very quickly, Riley, how do

711
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:52,600
Speaker 2: we feel about this? How do we feel about the results?

712
00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:53,360
Speaker 6: Dude? This is great.

713
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 2: Got a new job, bumpet title, bumpit salary is away

714
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 2: from Martha.

715
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 6: Dude, your mental health is about to go through the room.

716
00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:01,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're here, You're sacks. And your mental racks.

717
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, going up, there we go, There we go, and

718
00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:05,040
Speaker 6: you could learn from this on how not to be.

719
00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 6: Here's my thought. Go this was your trial of what

720
00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 6: not to do whenever you become a manager and you

721
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 6: were blessed with this awesome opportunity. It could do this.

722
00:30:13,880 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: It's a w be the change you want to see

723
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 1: in the world. Op.

724
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 6: There we go, John.

725
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 2: Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story. But

726
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 2: a quick three minute break of ads from our sponsors.

727
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 5: My husband is obsessed with his boss and it's all

728
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:26,240
Speaker 5: my faults.

729
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:27,360
Speaker 6: I mean, are we all?

730
00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 1: Are we?

731
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:28,440
Speaker 3: Are? We?

732
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,520
Speaker 5: I started this job about one and a half years ago.

733
00:30:30,680 --> 00:30:32,520
Speaker 5: I can't say what it is because I want us

734
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:35,080
Speaker 5: to stay anonymous, and our country is very small, so

735
00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,160
Speaker 5: my boss would probably be recognized. The moment I started,

736
00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 5: I felt like I was in the right place. My boss,

737
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,920
Speaker 5: the owner of the company, is very cool and kind.

738
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 5: She's self made and loves her job. She does a

739
00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 5: lot of the dirty work herself that bosses who have

740
00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 5: thirty to thirty five employees wouldn't have to do, but

741
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,240
Speaker 5: she just loves it. And on top of that, we

742
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,120
Speaker 5: have a six hour workday. Our salaries are twenty percent

743
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 5: higher than the market, and we have seven paid vacation

744
00:30:59,200 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 5: weeks a year.

745
00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 6: Oh wow, that's a lot.

746
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,200
Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from you slash deleted account

747
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,240
Speaker 5: on the art slash okay, storytime.

748
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,360
Speaker 6: Supredit So for it sounds like a great gig. I agree.

749
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,480
Speaker 6: I want to work there. Her reasons.

750
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:15,600
Speaker 5: She appreciates us and she gets richer anyway. So I

751
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:17,560
Speaker 5: was proud of working with a woman like her, so

752
00:31:17,560 --> 00:31:20,680
Speaker 5: I wouldn't shut about her to my husband, especially in

753
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:24,160
Speaker 5: the beginning. My husband was as fascinated by her as

754
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 5: I am until he met her in a company party

755
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 5: last Christmas. She must have been beautiful when she was young.

756
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 5: She could have been a model. Guessing that's what he

757
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 5: said about her. I think his fascination became a crush

758
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,840
Speaker 5: or an obsession or maybe worse love.

759
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 6: Oh man.

760
00:31:40,680 --> 00:31:43,960
Speaker 5: Now he follows her on Her accounts are private, but

761
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,040
Speaker 5: he stalks her with my account.

762
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:50,640
Speaker 6: That's whatever. That's pretty far. That's going pretty far, signing

763
00:31:50,640 --> 00:31:52,560
Speaker 6: in to be like, oh, what would you boss through today?

764
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 5: He also follows the company Instagram and likes every picture

765
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 5: she's in. He talks about her all the time.

766
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:02,400
Speaker 6: All is a supportive husband. I don't see any think

767
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 6: a going with this.

768
00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 2: I don't know.

769
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:04,480
Speaker 6: He's so supportive.

770
00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:04,960
Speaker 4: I don't know.

771
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 6: He loves the company and what she's doing.

772
00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,600
Speaker 5: She's a very private person. But when her divorce from

773
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,000
Speaker 5: her ex husband was finalized in the beginning of this year,

774
00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 5: we all found out because he started showing up to work.

775
00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 5: He owned half of her company now and he started

776
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,480
Speaker 5: to try to make changes in our work hours and salaries.

777
00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:22,000
Speaker 5: Oh wow, so because of the divorce, he like has

778
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 5: a job now. We found out that her husband had

779
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:27,080
Speaker 5: cheated on her with a younger girl who he also

780
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,360
Speaker 5: tried to employ in our company, and she still works

781
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:33,200
Speaker 5: with us. She probably has the lawyers involved. Eventually convinced

782
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 5: her husband to sell her back his share and we're

783
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 5: still in this process now. When we got home, he

784
00:32:38,440 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 5: was frantically going through her sm until he found some

785
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 5: guy and he sighed and really the guy was her nephew,

786
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:46,880
Speaker 5: and we didn't see the whole company, but they were

787
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 5: out with other family members. My husband was so happy,

788
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 5: like a weight lifted off his chest. I lost it

789
00:32:52,680 --> 00:32:55,280
Speaker 5: on him. I started crying and yelling and told him

790
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,240
Speaker 5: he was in love with her, and he was shocked.

791
00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:59,440
Speaker 5: When I pushed and kicked him out of our bedroom.

792
00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:02,000
Speaker 5: I locked the door. He stood outside trying to calm

793
00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 5: me down, telling me he loved me and I'm his

794
00:33:04,320 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 5: girl and always will be. Then he said something that

795
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 5: ruined me even further. Oh no, he said, it's not

796
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 5: like someone like her would.

797
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 6: Look my way.

798
00:33:12,600 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 4: Interesting.

799
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 6: Wow, so he likes this idea, he loves the idea

800
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 6: of her.

801
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:18,960
Speaker 4: Yeah.

802
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,240
Speaker 5: But also that I think means like if he has

803
00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:25,959
Speaker 5: this idolized version of her, then the wife isn't like

804
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 5: meeting that expectation right, Like it would be like someone

805
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 5: so far, someone lesser is looking his way and he

806
00:33:32,520 --> 00:33:33,320
Speaker 5: can takes.

807
00:33:33,160 --> 00:33:34,440
Speaker 6: Like, oh yeah, I'm okay with the son of my

808
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 6: wife is like no, this goes her exactly.

809
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,600
Speaker 1: Wow, just like I.

810
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,120
Speaker 5: Haven't slept since then? Why is he feeling like this?

811
00:33:42,320 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 5: Is it love infatuation? She's too old for my husband,

812
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:48,080
Speaker 5: so what is it? He's very handsome and still young.

813
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 5: She should feel lucky a young handsome man likes her.

814
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 5: And does he mean I'm less than her to accept

815
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:55,880
Speaker 5: him or is it purely her money and status? He

816
00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,680
Speaker 5: refuses to admit anything, And what can I do?

817
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 6: Now? I love this job. The benefits.

818
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:03,360
Speaker 5: Thanks to this job, our life has improved and we

819
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 5: can afford more than.

820
00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:05,480
Speaker 4: Just the necessities.

821
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 5: I'm starting to hate my boss though, and I hate

822
00:34:07,840 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 5: myself for idolizing her in front of my husband. There's

823
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:12,640
Speaker 5: an edit. Sorry this is getting longer. But I have

824
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 5: spoken to my mother, sister, granny, and some friends about

825
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 5: this and about what happened last Friday, and they all

826
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:20,799
Speaker 5: think I'm making a big deal out of nothing. And

827
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 5: there is an update. But yeah, let's talk about that.

828
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:27,880
Speaker 5: There's two updates actually before we get into it. Oh no, okay,

829
00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 5: divorce hr HR. Well, the husband, but the sticky thing

830
00:34:32,160 --> 00:34:36,000
Speaker 5: is the husband olds. Okay, okay, that's that's the boss's husband.

831
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,879
Speaker 5: Oh the boss husband isn't working there, Okay, divorce hr.

832
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 6: Yeah.

833
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 5: I feel like at least going to like couples therapy, right.

834
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 6: I don't know, man already too far. I think he's

835
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 6: too far. Second, he started prioritizing her social Media's started

836
00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:55,719
Speaker 6: like this creepy like he had a crush and he's

837
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 6: following through the crush and he has this idea of

838
00:34:58,520 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 6: like it's not going to happen. Like, let's like I

839
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:01,880
Speaker 6: had a crush on someone and I was doing all

840
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:03,680
Speaker 6: this stuff, right, would you still want to be with me?

841
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:07,120
Speaker 5: And I feel that literally just like made my stomach drop.

842
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 6: Like like you have, You're you're stepping into this your

843
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 6: parasocial because I don't I mean, I don't know if Yeah,

844
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:15,759
Speaker 6: I guess that'd be a good way to call their

845
00:35:15,800 --> 00:35:19,040
Speaker 6: parasocial relationship. Is coming getting into emotional cheating?

846
00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, interesting because I thing like technically has happened with

847
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,120
Speaker 5: him and her, but it's definitely where his mind is at.

848
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, but he's settling. He's like, I'm not I can't

849
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 6: get her. So I'm just gonna say it with you, right,

850
00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:30,440
Speaker 6: Palla Swiss was getting the company. I'm gonna use you

851
00:35:30,440 --> 00:35:31,239
Speaker 6: Greek card to go see her.

852
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:35,839
Speaker 5: Right? But again, we have two updates. Oh, let's get

853
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 5: into it all right. Update number one. Hi, I'm in

854
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,960
Speaker 5: so much pain and I don't know what to do.

855
00:35:40,040 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 5: I don't want to do something stupid while hurting. I

856
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 5: got a lot of good advice last time I was here,

857
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,040
Speaker 5: so I don't know. Maybe you can help me this

858
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:48,400
Speaker 5: time too. My old post is linked in my bio.

859
00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:50,279
Speaker 5: I hope you read it before this one because I

860
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,120
Speaker 5: don't want to tell the whole story again. I went

861
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,880
Speaker 5: against my family and friends and asked my husband for separation.

862
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 6: Oh wow, nice, nice move doing it?

863
00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:57,479
Speaker 4: Okay.

864
00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,480
Speaker 5: I felt like my heart couldn't take it anymore. But

865
00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:02,719
Speaker 5: my into told me that my husband wasn't allmine. That

866
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:05,759
Speaker 5: is so sad. This was shortly after the event at

867
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 5: the movies. My husband was in total confusion. He said

868
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,359
Speaker 5: that I was making a mistake, making a mountain out

869
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:14,080
Speaker 5: of a molehill. But he moved in with his brother. However,

870
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:17,080
Speaker 5: we decided to start couples counseling too. It went well

871
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,359
Speaker 5: the first three weeks or so, but my husband became

872
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:22,200
Speaker 5: more and more reluctant to participate, and sometimes he just

873
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 5: canceled on me. Last second. That's a bad tug flaking

874
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 5: out on doubles thereby. Oh man, oh man. He stopped

875
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:32,839
Speaker 5: showing up this month, and he also stopped calling and

876
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 5: texting me. I was even more heartbroken, but it just

877
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 5: solidified that my intuition was right and that I was

878
00:36:39,320 --> 00:36:41,600
Speaker 5: doing the right thing. Seeing that he is not interested

879
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 5: in working on us anymore.

880
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,719
Speaker 6: I chose not to quit my job. Good good good.

881
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:47,920
Speaker 5: I still loved it with all the heartbreak, and I

882
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,600
Speaker 5: really needed the benefits, like I'm the only one I

883
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 5: know who was having three weeks paid vacation around Christmas

884
00:36:53,680 --> 00:36:55,839
Speaker 5: and New Year. I never see my boss anyway, and

885
00:36:55,920 --> 00:36:58,720
Speaker 5: she doesn't even know of my existence. My husband eventually

886
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:01,080
Speaker 5: stopped being active on Instagram, and I thought it was

887
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 5: normal because we were going through adversities. Yesterday when his

888
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 5: brother shared my husband's stories of the night, my husband

889
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 5: was in a restaurant holding a woman's hand and I

890
00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 5: could only see her hand.

891
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 6: She didn't know who was her brother or her husband,

892
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:14,000
Speaker 6: the husband.

893
00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:15,360
Speaker 4: The husband was in the restaurant.

894
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,160
Speaker 6: Oh no, no, no, no, oh, man, oh I see you.

895
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:19,360
Speaker 6: I see what's going to happen.

896
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 4: I don't like it.

897
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:23,440
Speaker 5: So my husband has just blocked me and my family

898
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 5: and friends from seeing his updates. I commented, WTF. And

899
00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:30,799
Speaker 5: this morning my husband called me for the first time

900
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 5: in a month, totally scared and started begging, please don't

901
00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,719
Speaker 5: ruin this for me, Please don't ruin this for me.

902
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:40,080
Speaker 5: Oh my god, this is crazy. I told him, what

903
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,000
Speaker 5: do you mean? He said, don't tell her about us.

904
00:37:42,040 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 5: I never made the connection at first, and never crossed

905
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 5: my mind even but that woman in the picture was

906
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 5: my boss. No, no, oh, my god, I started crying

907
00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 5: and screaming at him.

908
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:55,480
Speaker 4: How could you do this to me?

909
00:37:55,560 --> 00:37:56,920
Speaker 5: How could you tell me that it was all in

910
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,560
Speaker 5: my head when it's obviously all over your Instagram.

911
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:01,360
Speaker 4: He said, it just happened.

912
00:38:01,120 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 5: A dumbed tim and he was single, and he just

913
00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:08,080
Speaker 5: happened to find her on bumble. Sure, sure, just happened

914
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 5: to find the woman that you've been obsessed with on bumble.

915
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 6: He got what he wanted, He got what he wanted,

916
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 6: what he wanted.

917
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:14,600
Speaker 4: Oh my god, No, no's.

918
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:17,480
Speaker 5: Terrible, that's terrible. He begged me not to ruin this

919
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:20,160
Speaker 5: for him. She knows he's in the process of divorce,

920
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,400
Speaker 5: but she doesn't know that he already knew who she was,

921
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 5: or that she was the boss of his soon to

922
00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:30,160
Speaker 5: be ex wife. So she she has really bad memory.

923
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 5: This posibably the amazing woman that she is, she's got

924
00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:33,279
Speaker 5: really bad men.

925
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 6: She probably doesn't like keep up with everyone's personal life.

926
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,600
Speaker 5: Well, yeah, but she met him at a Christmas party.

927
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 6: Oh yeah.

928
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:41,920
Speaker 5: They have been seeing each other for six weeks, about

929
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,839
Speaker 5: two weeks after I asked him to move, and it.

930
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 6: Is getting serious.

931
00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,080
Speaker 5: He begged for a good five minutes telling me how

932
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,680
Speaker 5: he hasn't been this happy in all his life, and

933
00:38:51,760 --> 00:38:54,560
Speaker 5: that I shouldn't ruin his happiness since again, I was

934
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 5: the one who ended our marriage.

935
00:38:57,160 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 6: That's that's well, she eded it because of your actions.

936
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 5: Yeah, she ended it because of your involvement with this woman.

937
00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 5: Is so and the fact that he wasn't like showing

938
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 5: up and stuff. So like, this is such a movie plot,

939
00:39:08,719 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 5: it really is, Honestly, Yeah, I feel like I'm just

940
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:15,919
Speaker 5: reading a script right now. I swear I have been

941
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,080
Speaker 5: crying since this morning. I don't know what to do.

942
00:39:18,160 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 5: I want to ruin him and his happiness, but I

943
00:39:20,960 --> 00:39:22,440
Speaker 5: don't know if I have any right to do that,

944
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,399
Speaker 5: and I'm so worried about losing my job. Please help,

945
00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 5: I for didn't even think about that. Her job is

946
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 5: involved too with like the boss, Like that would make

947
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,240
Speaker 5: it such a hostile work environment if like she ended

948
00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:39,240
Speaker 5: her boss's new relationship. That's crazy, all right, So now

949
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:46,720
Speaker 5: we have some new information. Still update one though, Okay,

950
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 5: my husband has been calling me NonStop and I have

951
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,080
Speaker 5: now answered him. He is panicking about me telling her everything,

952
00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 5: so he begged me to give him the chance to

953
00:39:55,000 --> 00:39:58,520
Speaker 5: tell her himself. His words were, I've never stopped her

954
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:00,920
Speaker 5: or creeped on her. I just fell for her and

955
00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:03,520
Speaker 5: was scared that she would think I was creepy since

956
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:04,600
Speaker 5: you thought the same.

957
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 4: Hang on what I was scared.

958
00:40:08,200 --> 00:40:11,320
Speaker 5: I was scared that she would think I was creepy

959
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,040
Speaker 5: because you thought I was creepy.

960
00:40:13,239 --> 00:40:14,640
Speaker 4: Like I feel like that's a valid fear.

961
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,880
Speaker 6: You shouldn't be scared, terrified, more terrified than second. I'm

962
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:20,920
Speaker 6: about to tailor about this right exactly.

963
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:22,880
Speaker 5: Give me a chance to tell her the truth in

964
00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,680
Speaker 5: my own pace, so at least she doesn't think I'm

965
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:27,880
Speaker 5: a liar or a freak like you seem to think.

966
00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:31,080
Speaker 5: He still swears that they matched on bubble. That's crazy.

967
00:40:31,200 --> 00:40:33,759
Speaker 5: I'm just devastated right now. He has no regards for

968
00:40:33,840 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 5: me and my feelings. Everything he is thinking of is

969
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,120
Speaker 5: not to scare her away. When I told him this,

970
00:40:39,280 --> 00:40:41,359
Speaker 5: he said that I was the one who left him.

971
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 6: Just got it so backwards, really, so back Such a

972
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 6: walking red flag right now. Oh my gosh.

973
00:40:46,239 --> 00:40:49,000
Speaker 5: I know people fall out of love and that's okay

974
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,880
Speaker 5: and no one's fault. But I was the one who

975
00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 5: ended it all the same. Don't hurt us. And I

976
00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 5: promised to give you everything you want she is happy

977
00:40:55,480 --> 00:40:58,120
Speaker 5: with me, so don't hurt us. That sounds so threatening,

978
00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 5: and there's still another update after that.

979
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,520
Speaker 6: We let's just get into it. Let's see you. Okay,

980
00:41:03,560 --> 00:41:06,560
Speaker 6: what do he gets some stelf into you? I'm nervous.

981
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 4: I talked to my boss yesterday.

982
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:11,600
Speaker 5: Oh oh oh oh, okay, so she did.

983
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: She did.

984
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:15,280
Speaker 5: Talked to her yesterday after lunch. I told her everything,

985
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,320
Speaker 5: oh my gosh, basically how I was so happy I

986
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 5: found this job, how I looked up to her and

987
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 5: was proud to be working for someone like her, and

988
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,640
Speaker 5: that this rubbed off on my husband, who grew more

989
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 5: obsessed with her each day. I apologized for using the

990
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:31,560
Speaker 5: word obsessed because I didn't know how things were between them,

991
00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:33,200
Speaker 5: but that was how I perceived his feelings.

992
00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, no, good word. Good word obsessed is a

993
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 6: good word.

994
00:41:36,239 --> 00:41:36,439
Speaker 3: Yeah.

995
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:38,640
Speaker 5: I told her about the day at the movie and

996
00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,239
Speaker 5: how it basically made me realize that our issues were

997
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 5: greater than I thought.

998
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:42,920
Speaker 4: What happened at the.

999
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,959
Speaker 6: Movie I think they went to a movie together.

1000
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,279
Speaker 5: And then like later that night is when like the.

1001
00:41:47,280 --> 00:41:50,720
Speaker 6: Little Christmas part, That's what I'm assuming.

1002
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:53,319
Speaker 5: I told her that I know and accept that my

1003
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 5: marriage is over and that my husband didn't love me anymore.

1004
00:41:56,120 --> 00:41:58,600
Speaker 5: That the reason I'm telling her now isn't to judge

1005
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,440
Speaker 5: or blame her, but just to let her know the

1006
00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,080
Speaker 5: whole story, because it's just fair that she knows that

1007
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,759
Speaker 5: he has been following her life for over a year now.

1008
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,840
Speaker 5: That's that's been pretty fair. I feel like she should know.

1009
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:11,320
Speaker 5: That's like women standing like for women. That's a girl's

1010
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:16,280
Speaker 5: girl right there, with a hint of you know, justice, Yeah, justice,

1011
00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 5: I said, because from what I understood from my husband,

1012
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 5: you are under the impression that you just matched with him.

1013
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 6: On a dating app. So that's like her reasoning.

1014
00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:28,799
Speaker 5: She was silent the whole time I was talking, just

1015
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 5: listening to me until I mentioned the dating app, and

1016
00:42:31,200 --> 00:42:32,360
Speaker 5: that's when she interrupted me.

1017
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:34,600
Speaker 4: That's not how we met.

1018
00:42:34,680 --> 00:42:36,880
Speaker 5: He has been a patron at my gym for the

1019
00:42:36,920 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 5: past six months, maybe a year.

1020
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:40,400
Speaker 4: She said.

1021
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 5: This has gone actual stalking now, oh my gosh, and cheating.

1022
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:48,080
Speaker 5: Actual stalking and at the gym is so much creepier too.

1023
00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:54,120
Speaker 5: Oh wow, knew where she went. Yeah, oh ew, oh

1024
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,400
Speaker 5: my gosh, I know her, Jim. It's the one across

1025
00:42:56,400 --> 00:42:59,399
Speaker 5: our workplace. She works out there every morning before coming

1026
00:42:59,400 --> 00:42:59,719
Speaker 5: to work.

1027
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:01,719
Speaker 6: Does not know the husband goes there.

1028
00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 4: I don't know. That's sninky.

1029
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 6: Oh you.

1030
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 5: I didn't know he had joined it because I knew

1031
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,080
Speaker 5: him to be a member at the gym near our home.

1032
00:43:12,239 --> 00:43:16,440
Speaker 5: This man's paying for two memberships for this. He has

1033
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:19,360
Speaker 5: been without telling me, working out just across the street

1034
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,480
Speaker 5: from me every morning without telling me. She looked like

1035
00:43:22,560 --> 00:43:25,640
Speaker 5: how I felt shocked. I apologize and told her that

1036
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:28,000
Speaker 5: he has kept dating her a secret from me, and

1037
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 5: that he begged me not to talk to her, telling

1038
00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:32,600
Speaker 5: me that he hasn't been this happy and so on.

1039
00:43:32,760 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 5: She didn't say much, just thanked me for telling her.

1040
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 6: Today.

1041
00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:37,920
Speaker 5: She asked if she could talk to me. She apologized

1042
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:39,840
Speaker 5: for everything that happened to me and asked if I

1043
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:41,560
Speaker 5: needed any help, and I said.

1044
00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:48,120
Speaker 6: No, yes, A yeah, right, yeah, yeah, that'd be great.

1045
00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 6: Feel at the right. Let me go home.

1046
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,640
Speaker 5: She thanked me again. When I got home, my husband

1047
00:43:53,719 --> 00:43:56,560
Speaker 5: was there. He had called me at least fifty times,

1048
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:58,560
Speaker 5: but my phone was on the silent. He was crying,

1049
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 5: calling me bitter and ben and pathetic. He said that

1050
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 5: I ruined his relationship and his future. She is scared

1051
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:07,680
Speaker 5: of him now and it is all my faults.

1052
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:09,399
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, you poor thing.

1053
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 6: That's crazy.

1054
00:44:11,600 --> 00:44:14,120
Speaker 5: He wants me to tell her that he is not dangerous,

1055
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 5: nor is he a pervert. He wants me to tell

1056
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,760
Speaker 5: her that I was the one who wanted a divorce,

1057
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 5: and that people fall out and in love and it

1058
00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 5: is nobody's fault and neither is it creepy.

1059
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:28,400
Speaker 6: Well, I beg to differ in too. This guy is

1060
00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,200
Speaker 6: so awf this is insane.

1061
00:44:30,280 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 4: He hasn't done anything wrong. He stayed faithful to.

1062
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:35,439
Speaker 5: Me and would have stayed that way if I didn't

1063
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:37,879
Speaker 5: kick him out. He asked me, if I ever felt

1064
00:44:37,960 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 5: unsafe with him, to make rumors about him being a

1065
00:44:40,600 --> 00:44:43,480
Speaker 5: stalker and a creep, I should tell the truth. I

1066
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,520
Speaker 5: asked him to leave and that I'm starting the divorce

1067
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,240
Speaker 5: and from now on he could only contact me once

1068
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:50,799
Speaker 5: I got a lawyer through them.

1069
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:51,440
Speaker 6: Wow.

1070
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:53,320
Speaker 4: By the way, if.

1071
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,759
Speaker 5: You want to contact us, you know that you can

1072
00:44:56,840 --> 00:44:59,680
Speaker 5: join us live on YouTube every weekday at three pm

1073
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,480
Speaker 5: p Just tippy tap our profile.

1074
00:45:02,560 --> 00:45:03,000
Speaker 6: There we go.

1075
00:45:03,280 --> 00:45:06,080
Speaker 5: There's tiny bit left. Oh my gosh, tiny bit left.

1076
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:08,080
Speaker 5: I have been crying since he left.

1077
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:08,600
Speaker 4: Oh.

1078
00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 5: We haven't seen each other for weeks, and he had

1079
00:45:10,880 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 5: no feelings or whatsoever for me. He looked demented and

1080
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 5: full of sorrow, like a little broken boy. How could

1081
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:21,040
Speaker 5: he change this fast? Before we separated, he held me

1082
00:45:21,160 --> 00:45:23,520
Speaker 5: and begged me to believe him and him and his

1083
00:45:23,600 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 5: love for me?

1084
00:45:24,280 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 4: Was it all a lie?

1085
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:28,120
Speaker 5: My whole entire relationship. Good night, and thank you for

1086
00:45:28,120 --> 00:45:30,120
Speaker 5: the sport. This is a throwaway and I would be

1087
00:45:30,200 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 5: deleting it soon. Wow, girl, you did all the right steps,

1088
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:37,880
Speaker 5: all the right things. You saved another woman's life. Yeah, honestly, Like,

1089
00:45:37,960 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 5: I was so scared that it was going to turn

1090
00:45:39,719 --> 00:45:43,879
Speaker 5: into like the boss was also just like, oh, like weird, Like, yeah,

1091
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 5: we are really happy, so leave us alone. Yeah, but no,

1092
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:48,439
Speaker 5: she was in a dangerous situation.

1093
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 6: Some boss, dude. And you also, just like the boss

1094
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 6: just gained a dedicated employee for probably the rest of us.

1095
00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:57,120
Speaker 5: Yes, they have a bond.

1096
00:45:57,239 --> 00:46:03,759
Speaker 6: Now, this is great. I'm so relieved husband, Oh my gosh.

1097
00:46:03,480 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 5: I'm so relieved for Opa.

1098
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,240
Speaker 6: I can't believe the husband safe the boss.

1099
00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:11,080
Speaker 5: Yeah honestly, Well, I mean but he had he had. Yeah,

1100
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 5: when you have a lot of prep time, yeah, a

1101
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 5: lot of prep time.

1102
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 6: Hmmm. No, that's crazy.

1103
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 5: That is crazy though, that like someone can just be

1104
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 5: a completely different person than you think, Like, that's kind

1105
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 5: of scary.

1106
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 6: That is scary. I would never do that. My boss

1107
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,640
Speaker 6: is the worst. Is he sabotaging my chance at job hunting?

1108
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 6: Sounds pretty selfish. By the way, this comes from one

1109
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:35,360
Speaker 6: of our own Okay Storytime members. No way, this is

1110
00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 6: one of ours. I twenty five female, have been working

1111
00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:40,360
Speaker 6: at my current job for five and a half years,

1112
00:46:40,480 --> 00:46:43,600
Speaker 6: so this cashier was cross trained for the kitchen, and

1113
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:46,359
Speaker 6: have worked my way up to second assistant and now

1114
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 6: currently an assistant store manager for the past couple of years.

1115
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,239
Speaker 6: For context, I've been working since I was seventeen in

1116
00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 6: the retail slash customer service industry the last eight and

1117
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:58,200
Speaker 6: a half years, and I feel very proficient in my job.

1118
00:46:58,320 --> 00:47:00,840
Speaker 6: By the way, this comes from Devil's Dark Zerzer on

1119
00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:03,800
Speaker 6: the Honor slash Okay Storytime suburt I've had the same boss,

1120
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 6: and this past year, my husband and I found out

1121
00:47:05,920 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 6: we are expecting our second child.

1122
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:08,560
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, exciting.

1123
00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 6: I'm usually a pretty reserved person and don't speak out

1124
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:14,359
Speaker 6: too much on things. I've dedicated my life to this job,

1125
00:47:14,520 --> 00:47:19,880
Speaker 6: sacrificing holidays, countless sleepless nights, and constant overtime while missing

1126
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 6: out on things with my family. I already see you,

1127
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:23,799
Speaker 6: I already know what's about to happen here.

1128
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 5: I don't know, so let's find out.

1129
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:28,960
Speaker 6: All for the hope of a good career. My pregnancy

1130
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:32,279
Speaker 6: this time was rougher on me by a lot compared

1131
00:47:32,400 --> 00:47:34,600
Speaker 6: to my first, but I pushed through a lot of

1132
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:36,879
Speaker 6: the issues I came across during it for my job,

1133
00:47:37,320 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 6: even after my husband repeatedly told me I needed to

1134
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:42,480
Speaker 6: slow down, take it easy, and rest. The last couple

1135
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 6: of months of my pregnancy, my OB gave me a

1136
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,600
Speaker 6: doctor's note that I need to eat every couple of

1137
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:49,839
Speaker 6: hours and sit and rest as much as I can,

1138
00:47:50,239 --> 00:47:53,080
Speaker 6: as I had an incident of me passing out at

1139
00:47:53,080 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 6: work earlier in my pregnancy, and throughout it had a

1140
00:47:56,239 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 6: superficial vain thrown bus in the back of my knee

1141
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,520
Speaker 6: causes my need to swell. I have shot burning pain

1142
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:04,799
Speaker 6: with it, and my legs have had numbness as well

1143
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:07,160
Speaker 6: due to this. Oh my gosh, so she needs like

1144
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 6: slow down, It's for real, she needs to get a

1145
00:48:10,160 --> 00:48:12,840
Speaker 6: little office job break. At times, I may move a

1146
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:15,200
Speaker 6: little slower than normal because of this. My boss didn't

1147
00:48:15,200 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 6: really acknowledge my doctor's not about some of my issues.

1148
00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:21,720
Speaker 6: Always seem dismissive. He would make comments here and there,

1149
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,640
Speaker 6: calling me a cry baby for my pain I was

1150
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,799
Speaker 6: in and to tough en up, and always saying you

1151
00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 6: did this to yourself as well as my wife did

1152
00:48:29,360 --> 00:48:31,319
Speaker 6: well with all of her pregnancies.

1153
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 5: Ah, she's literally pregnant. Everyone's experience is different, sir.

1154
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:38,120
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, that's insane. For context, I was diagnosed

1155
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,160
Speaker 6: with intro dimitriosis a couple of years ago. I had

1156
00:48:41,200 --> 00:48:43,840
Speaker 6: surgery for it, but returned within a few months.

1157
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:44,160
Speaker 1: After.

1158
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,759
Speaker 6: My husband and I planned this pregnancy and we were

1159
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,439
Speaker 6: both excited about it. There were days I'd come home

1160
00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:51,840
Speaker 6: in so much pain after working long hours and not

1161
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 6: being able to sit down or eat much during the

1162
00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 6: entire time. I can't remember the last time I actually

1163
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,640
Speaker 6: had a break since working at this job. Thankfully, my

1164
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:02,279
Speaker 6: husband was there for me, propping my legs up after

1165
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:05,200
Speaker 6: long days, letting me take naps to help my exhaustion,

1166
00:49:05,480 --> 00:49:07,720
Speaker 6: making sure I was eating, and giving me a massage.

1167
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 6: This guy's awesome. He's doing great. Yes, Oh wow. Because

1168
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,839
Speaker 6: of how I was getting treated during my last couple

1169
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 6: of months, of pregnancy at work, being constantly dismissed. Talk

1170
00:49:18,800 --> 00:49:21,920
Speaker 6: down to being scheduled for first, second, and third shift

1171
00:49:22,040 --> 00:49:24,280
Speaker 6: all in the same week, or even pulling a double

1172
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,280
Speaker 6: shift and being the only manager out of four others

1173
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:29,719
Speaker 6: to be held to a certain standards because, as my

1174
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,480
Speaker 6: boss puts it, the others won't do it. And you

1175
00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 6: know it as well as your manager. It's part of

1176
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 6: your job.

1177
00:49:34,800 --> 00:49:35,440
Speaker 1: She's pregnant.

1178
00:49:35,760 --> 00:49:38,400
Speaker 6: Pregnant, she's pregnant. She's pregnant for like, just give her

1179
00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 6: a year. This is a dedicated person. She's been here

1180
00:49:40,120 --> 00:49:42,359
Speaker 6: for any others. Give her a year slack off. Yes,

1181
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,520
Speaker 6: every other manager gets to have a set schedule most

1182
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 6: weekends off, gets see their family and don't have to

1183
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,160
Speaker 6: come in and cover shifts. Whenever there's an issue, I'm

1184
00:49:50,200 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 6: expected to go to the store and help. I'm the

1185
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 6: only manager who is constantly called twenty four to seven,

1186
00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:58,239
Speaker 6: even though there's four others. But all the employees know.

1187
00:49:58,360 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 6: They won't answer their phones. If they I do answer,

1188
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,360
Speaker 6: they're told to call me instead. I'm for my husband.

1189
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 6: While I am on maternity leave, I would be looking

1190
00:50:05,719 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 6: for a new job, as I can't see myself calling

1191
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:10,800
Speaker 6: back to that job. With everything that's happened. My husband

1192
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,160
Speaker 6: was fully supportive of this decision. Before I want to leave,

1193
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,120
Speaker 6: I try to help my boss in preparation of it.

1194
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,160
Speaker 6: I wanted to train other managers on how to do

1195
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:20,440
Speaker 6: my ordering schedule, et cetera. My boss always dismissed it

1196
00:50:20,520 --> 00:50:22,680
Speaker 6: and said he'd handle it. Wasn't worth the time to

1197
00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,000
Speaker 6: train anyone else on my duties. A lot of people

1198
00:50:25,040 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 6: at my job rely on me, and it showed once

1199
00:50:28,280 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 6: I went into labor and started my leave. Em boys

1200
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 6: were so used to calling me and having me come

1201
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:36,480
Speaker 6: in it through our store down the drain when I left. Wow.

1202
00:50:36,560 --> 00:50:38,799
Speaker 6: So she was trying to get ahead of this and

1203
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,120
Speaker 6: the boss was like no, and he knew it was

1204
00:50:42,160 --> 00:50:42,919
Speaker 6: all going to go to crowd.

1205
00:50:43,040 --> 00:50:45,680
Speaker 5: And she's like, look, look how much you need me?

1206
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 5: Like how much you should value mehm and understand me.

1207
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 6: Understand, give me some spit.

1208
00:50:50,800 --> 00:50:54,840
Speaker 5: Let's ley that's crazy though, Like oh yeah, like yeah,

1209
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 5: this is what's gonna happen. She's gonna lead like, of

1210
00:50:57,320 --> 00:50:59,680
Speaker 5: course it's worth it to train someone else because you

1211
00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:03,160
Speaker 5: need her. She's just amazing and she's doing it all pregnant.

1212
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,960
Speaker 6: Per my leave agreement. I was not to be involved

1213
00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,279
Speaker 6: in work related things or help with work, et cetera,

1214
00:51:08,360 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 6: as it would possibly violate the agreement to where I

1215
00:51:10,680 --> 00:51:13,000
Speaker 6: wouldn't get paid for an additional week every time I

1216
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:15,080
Speaker 6: was involved with work. This past week, I applied for

1217
00:51:15,120 --> 00:51:17,960
Speaker 6: an assistant GM position somewhere else. I was able to

1218
00:51:17,960 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 6: get an interview, and it was great, or so I thought.

1219
00:51:20,719 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 6: During the interview, I was asked what my current boss

1220
00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:26,920
Speaker 6: says about me. I replied, very hard working, dedicated, always

1221
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 6: willing to learn new things and help out people, as

1222
00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,000
Speaker 6: I believe it showed over the past five and a

1223
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,160
Speaker 6: half years. After the interview, I was asked to come

1224
00:51:33,200 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 6: back in the next day or two and shadow for

1225
00:51:35,120 --> 00:51:37,120
Speaker 6: a couple of hours to see what the job is

1226
00:51:37,239 --> 00:51:40,080
Speaker 6: like before they made an offer. This possible job opportunity

1227
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 6: would be significant pay raise for me. I messaged the

1228
00:51:42,680 --> 00:51:45,760
Speaker 6: possible new job within thirty minutes of leaving the interview

1229
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,720
Speaker 6: that I could come in the next day to shadow

1230
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,759
Speaker 6: and to let me know what time worked best for

1231
00:51:49,840 --> 00:51:51,640
Speaker 6: me to come in. Ever since I left the interview,

1232
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 6: they haven't responded back. The very next day that I

1233
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:55,600
Speaker 6: was hoping to shadow, I got a text from my

1234
00:51:55,640 --> 00:51:58,080
Speaker 6: boss letting me know he knew I had an interview

1235
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 6: and set at place and if I play, I know

1236
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,040
Speaker 6: coming back or not from my leaf. I was honest

1237
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:04,440
Speaker 6: and let him know that yes, I did have an interview,

1238
00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:06,600
Speaker 6: but nothing is set in stone at this moment. My

1239
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,880
Speaker 6: boss can't afford for me to leave right now. The

1240
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,839
Speaker 6: last two months I've been gone, we've had numerous employees

1241
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:15,320
Speaker 6: quit and now one of the other managers is quitting,

1242
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:18,080
Speaker 6: which is possibly forced my boss to close our third

1243
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:20,920
Speaker 6: shift if they don't find someone to replace them. I

1244
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 6: found out the person that had interviewed me knows one

1245
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 6: of my managers I work. This manager does not get

1246
00:52:26,520 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 6: along with me, as I don't let them get away

1247
00:52:29,160 --> 00:52:31,440
Speaker 6: with whatever they want. I tried reaching out to the

1248
00:52:31,520 --> 00:52:34,759
Speaker 6: possible new job again today after my boss texted me

1249
00:52:34,920 --> 00:52:36,440
Speaker 6: asking when it would be a good time for me

1250
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:38,319
Speaker 6: to come back in. They have not responded to any

1251
00:52:38,320 --> 00:52:40,799
Speaker 6: of my messages. At this point, I feel as if

1252
00:52:40,840 --> 00:52:43,040
Speaker 6: either my boss or the other manager talked to the

1253
00:52:43,080 --> 00:52:46,040
Speaker 6: person who interviewed me and said not some good things

1254
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,560
Speaker 6: about me and hurt my chances of getting the job.

1255
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 6: As I said earlier, my boss can't afford to lose

1256
00:52:51,600 --> 00:52:54,439
Speaker 6: me and will do anything to keep me there. I'm

1257
00:52:54,480 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 6: going to try to call possible new jobs in the

1258
00:52:57,520 --> 00:53:00,000
Speaker 6: morning and ask when I should come in. By the way,

1259
00:53:00,080 --> 00:53:01,960
Speaker 6: you could come into our live streams and every weekday

1260
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:04,279
Speaker 6: if five three PMPSD just have her profile and if

1261
00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,879
Speaker 6: I get informed that they will no longer be moving

1262
00:53:06,920 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 6: forward with me. I suspect it has something to do

1263
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,160
Speaker 6: with my bosses or other co managers, and I'm not

1264
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,799
Speaker 6: sure how else my boss would know that I had

1265
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:17,560
Speaker 6: another interview. I don't know how to hansel the situation

1266
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,160
Speaker 6: as I'm really wanting this job as it would help

1267
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 6: my family out so much it would be better pay

1268
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,560
Speaker 6: for me. Any advice on how to go is appreciated.

1269
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:28,400
Speaker 6: I will update when I get the chance. Thank you. Wow.

1270
00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,040
Speaker 6: Should you go to the place and just be like, hey,

1271
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:31,719
Speaker 6: this is how what it is?

1272
00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,399
Speaker 5: I mean, you could like I feel like you could

1273
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:37,279
Speaker 5: start it off being saying something like like, hey, can

1274
00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:41,239
Speaker 5: I ask you just like for future jobs, like is

1275
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 5: there anything I could do differently? Is there some way

1276
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:46,400
Speaker 5: that I'm like perceiving myself or something like that, or

1277
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:47,960
Speaker 5: like you know what I mean, Like, I feel like

1278
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,520
Speaker 5: you could ask for that and then say, like, by

1279
00:53:50,640 --> 00:53:51,280
Speaker 5: the way.

1280
00:53:51,320 --> 00:53:53,719
Speaker 6: Does it have anything to do with my previous employer, you.

1281
00:53:53,640 --> 00:53:56,399
Speaker 5: Know, and then hopefully if they're honest, it can tell

1282
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:58,800
Speaker 5: it can tell her that again, Yeah, she can explain

1283
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:01,240
Speaker 5: that she's literally preged and like everything.

1284
00:54:01,360 --> 00:54:04,120
Speaker 6: You know what I mean, this is very crazy. Uh,

1285
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:08,839
Speaker 6: you're in a pickle, and I'm sorry. See, see if

1286
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:10,759
Speaker 6: you can go to HR and see if you can

1287
00:54:10,840 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 6: like talk to their HR or something. Maybe maybe you

1288
00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:14,640
Speaker 6: can't talk to the HR, but hopefully you can get

1289
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:16,839
Speaker 6: this job. See if you can clear the air. See

1290
00:54:16,840 --> 00:54:17,760
Speaker 6: if there's another update.

1291
00:54:17,840 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 5: But that's just wild that like literally the company fell

1292
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:25,200
Speaker 5: to pieces without her there and everyone was quitting, probably

1293
00:54:25,200 --> 00:54:27,760
Speaker 5: because they had to do more work than they usually

1294
00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,480
Speaker 5: do because she's not there and they didn't prepare for

1295
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 5: her to be gone and they didn't like it. And

1296
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,719
Speaker 5: for some reason the other managers don't like her. Don't

1297
00:54:35,719 --> 00:54:39,160
Speaker 5: know why exactly, but they just all like exploded and

1298
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 5: now they're trying to like sabotage her. That's just that's wild.

1299
00:54:42,800 --> 00:54:45,760
Speaker 6: Dang, good luck, good luck. There's no update.

1300
00:54:45,880 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 4: There's no way, is that on it.

1301
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 5: That's the end of the story of the Wait what

1302
00:54:49,840 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 5: I thought there was more?

1303
00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 1: Wow, Hey, it's sam og host. We're gonnet back to

1304
00:54:55,120 --> 00:54:57,640
Speaker 1: these delectable stories. But here's three minutes of ads from

1305
00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:59,120
Speaker 1: our sponsors to help support the show.

1306
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:03,719
Speaker 4: I told my husband he's an overgrown child. I think

1307
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 4: I want a divorce. Can't marry a child that's illegal.

1308
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,440
Speaker 4: We've been married for four years, together for seven we

1309
00:55:11,520 --> 00:55:14,520
Speaker 4: have two kids, daughter four female and son two male.

1310
00:55:14,680 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 4: I'm really not sure where to start. My husband is

1311
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 4: an overgrown child. He just doesn't know when it's time

1312
00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:24,280
Speaker 4: to be serious. This is the only problem in our marriage.

1313
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:28,880
Speaker 4: He's extremely loving, affectionate, and kind. He loves being a dad.

1314
00:55:29,080 --> 00:55:31,600
Speaker 4: He loves our children more than anything, and they love

1315
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,480
Speaker 4: him as well. He's constantly playing with them, and I

1316
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:37,520
Speaker 4: think this is where issues start to arise.

1317
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:39,759
Speaker 3: I wasn't it sounds like there's a lot of good

1318
00:55:39,800 --> 00:55:40,879
Speaker 3: stuff about him.

1319
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:43,280
Speaker 4: I think it's just like, uh, you know, when.

1320
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,680
Speaker 3: You sometimes you gotta be the adult.

1321
00:55:44,840 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 6: Yeah, but you know.

1322
00:55:45,600 --> 00:55:47,279
Speaker 4: This is something we can work with. By the way,

1323
00:55:47,320 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 4: this comes from frustrated wife tw on the Best of

1324
00:55:50,560 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 4: Redditor Updates sub reddit. So my husband cannot understand when

1325
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:57,560
Speaker 4: it's time to put playtime on pause. I'm serious when

1326
00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 4: I say he's in playtime mode with our children from

1327
00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:01,759
Speaker 4: the moment they wake up to the moment they go

1328
00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,600
Speaker 4: to sleep. This results in extremely hyperactive children. In the

1329
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,000
Speaker 4: morning when I'm trying to get our daughter ready for kindergarten,

1330
00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:10,879
Speaker 4: and it's extremely frustrating to have to struggle to get

1331
00:56:10,880 --> 00:56:13,960
Speaker 4: her fed, cleaned, dressed, and out the door on time

1332
00:56:14,000 --> 00:56:16,520
Speaker 4: for school, where he then will drive her too. And

1333
00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 4: at night, this results in hyperactive children who can day

1334
00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,400
Speaker 4: out to two hours to get to settle down and

1335
00:56:21,440 --> 00:56:24,320
Speaker 4: go to bed, and by then it's way past their bedtime,

1336
00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:26,839
Speaker 4: and they will sometimes wake up grumpy in the morning

1337
00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:28,080
Speaker 4: because they didn't get enough sleep.

1338
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exhausting, that's.

1339
00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 4: Exhaust He wants to take care of them when they're grumpy.

1340
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:35,440
Speaker 4: He will sometimes even be egging our children on at

1341
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:37,560
Speaker 4: night when we're sitting with them in bed trying to

1342
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 4: wind them down to sleep. It's incredibly infuriating, and I

1343
00:56:41,200 --> 00:56:43,400
Speaker 4: will tell them to stop because I'm clearly trying to

1344
00:56:43,400 --> 00:56:45,520
Speaker 4: get them to sleep, and all he's doing is keeping

1345
00:56:45,600 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 4: them up. He laughs and says he's just having fun.

1346
00:56:48,400 --> 00:56:51,400
Speaker 4: Husband doesn't do hard discipline. He tells our kids to

1347
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 4: stop fighting each other or to stop touching fragile objects,

1348
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:57,120
Speaker 4: but when it comes to timeouts or taking away things

1349
00:56:57,200 --> 00:57:00,040
Speaker 4: like dessert, certain toys, TV, time for the day, he

1350
00:57:00,880 --> 00:57:04,200
Speaker 4: all but refuses. You believe me to be the bad guy,

1351
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:07,240
Speaker 4: and I'm absolutely sick of it. I'm tired of feeling

1352
00:57:07,280 --> 00:57:09,440
Speaker 4: like I'm the mean mom who doesn't like fun or

1353
00:57:09,440 --> 00:57:11,560
Speaker 4: has to ruin their fun, but he just won't do it.

1354
00:57:11,600 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 4: I've told him that he needs to stop leaving all

1355
00:57:13,520 --> 00:57:15,840
Speaker 4: the hard discipline up to me. Says he will, but

1356
00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 4: then he leaves it all up to me again next time.

1357
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:20,680
Speaker 4: I dread when the kids are older and things like

1358
00:57:20,760 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 4: grounding become a thing. My husband is constantly breaking our

1359
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:27,240
Speaker 4: children's toys because he wants to play with them. Honestly,

1360
00:57:27,280 --> 00:57:30,600
Speaker 4: me though, I get that, like they're small, trampoline or bike.

1361
00:57:30,840 --> 00:57:33,240
Speaker 4: Our daughter's birthday was last month and one of our

1362
00:57:33,280 --> 00:57:36,400
Speaker 4: friends bought her a little scooter. My husband broke it

1363
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 4: within a week because he wouldn't stop playing and doing

1364
00:57:38,760 --> 00:57:41,200
Speaker 4: tricks on it every time he stepped outside the house

1365
00:57:41,200 --> 00:57:41,680
Speaker 4: for something.

1366
00:57:41,840 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 3: Okay, this does STU. I know initially I was clapping, but.

1367
00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:48,840
Speaker 4: It's too far. Yeah. Our daughter was devastated because she

1368
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,680
Speaker 4: loved that thing. Even more so because she loves our

1369
00:57:51,680 --> 00:57:53,720
Speaker 4: friend who gave a term, so to her, it was

1370
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:56,760
Speaker 4: extra special. I also feel terrible that this toy my

1371
00:57:56,800 --> 00:57:59,480
Speaker 4: friends spent her money on was destroyed by my husband

1372
00:57:59,520 --> 00:58:02,880
Speaker 4: before my daughter barely at any time to play on it. Now.

1373
00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:06,680
Speaker 4: My husband is six foot and about twenty pounds overweight.

1374
00:58:06,960 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 4: He has absolutely no business playing on these children's toys.

1375
00:58:10,520 --> 00:58:12,640
Speaker 4: And I've told him time and time again to stop

1376
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,800
Speaker 4: playing on them because they aren't made for a person

1377
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,760
Speaker 4: his size, and that he will break them. And then

1378
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 4: he does, and he'll sheepishly carry the broken toy into

1379
00:58:21,400 --> 00:58:25,560
Speaker 4: me and say sorry, that's annoying, just like that, But

1380
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 4: then he's back at it again, destroying another toy. Shortly after.

1381
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,200
Speaker 4: We got our daughter a bike for Christmas so she

1382
00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:33,160
Speaker 4: can start learning, and I don't even want to give

1383
00:58:33,160 --> 00:58:35,280
Speaker 4: it to her because I know he'll ruin it for her,

1384
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:37,840
Speaker 4: like he always does with their toys. These are just

1385
00:58:37,880 --> 00:58:40,400
Speaker 4: some of the bigger broken toy examples that are also

1386
00:58:40,440 --> 00:58:43,800
Speaker 4: countless smaller things of theirs he's broken, like balls, dolls,

1387
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:47,400
Speaker 4: little cars, a dollhouse, a slide, et cetera. He's always

1388
00:58:47,440 --> 00:58:49,880
Speaker 4: making our kids play with them, even when they clearly

1389
00:58:49,920 --> 00:58:52,280
Speaker 4: don't want to or just want to chill out, relax

1390
00:58:52,360 --> 00:58:54,840
Speaker 4: and sit and watch a movie. This mostly applies to

1391
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 4: our son, who is much more introverted slash sensitive than

1392
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:01,480
Speaker 4: our daughter and usually prefers calm and quiet interaction over

1393
00:59:01,520 --> 00:59:04,600
Speaker 4: the loud and hyperactive playtime. My husband always does a

1394
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 4: handful of times he has frustrated overwhelmed our son by

1395
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:11,480
Speaker 4: continuously pushing son to play with them, resulting in son

1396
00:59:11,720 --> 00:59:14,520
Speaker 4: starting to cry because he just wants to be left alone.

1397
00:59:14,560 --> 00:59:17,400
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness. Now finally on to what prompted me

1398
00:59:17,480 --> 00:59:20,200
Speaker 4: to post here. My husband is always telling our kids

1399
00:59:20,240 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 4: and everyone else that our kids are his best friends.

1400
00:59:23,840 --> 00:59:26,440
Speaker 4: Since our daughter started learning to talk, he's trained her

1401
00:59:26,440 --> 00:59:29,560
Speaker 4: to answer the question who's your best friend with daddy?

1402
00:59:29,880 --> 00:59:32,400
Speaker 4: O my god. Our son is in his early talking

1403
00:59:32,440 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 4: stages and he's starting to train him to do this

1404
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 4: as well. At first, I didn't see any issues with

1405
00:59:37,040 --> 00:59:39,400
Speaker 4: this and actually thought it was cute. But our daughter

1406
00:59:39,440 --> 00:59:42,280
Speaker 4: has made a really good friend five female I'll call

1407
00:59:42,360 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 4: her Emily at school This year, daughter is always talking

1408
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:48,120
Speaker 4: about Emily and asking if Emily can come over or

1409
00:59:48,160 --> 00:59:51,000
Speaker 4: if daughter can go to Emily's house. Today, my husband

1410
00:59:51,040 --> 00:59:53,000
Speaker 4: asked our daughter, who's your best friend?

1411
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:53,480
Speaker 3: Mammy?

1412
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 5: Emily?

1413
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:57,920
Speaker 4: Emily, and our daughter pause for a moment, got a

1414
00:59:58,040 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 4: huge grin on her face and said Emily.

1415
01:00:01,240 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 3: And if you're telling me, the dad's gonna throw a

1416
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 3: fig we're done with him.

1417
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 4: And it looked like my husband had just been given

1418
01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 4: the worst news of his entire life. He asked her what,

1419
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 4: and our daughter started giggling and said Emily again, and

1420
01:00:14,240 --> 01:00:17,680
Speaker 4: my husband said no, no, who's your best friend? And again,

1421
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:21,600
Speaker 4: still giggling, she says Emily. My husband's face went blank,

1422
01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 4: and immediately he removed himself from her and went into

1423
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 4: the other room. Imagine being mad at.

1424
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:29,920
Speaker 3: Your five year old. For sake, your best friend is

1425
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 3: their best friend.

1426
01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 4: That's ridiculous. He needs more friends.

1427
01:00:32,840 --> 01:00:33,120
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1428
01:00:33,240 --> 01:00:36,360
Speaker 4: Our daughter seemed a little confused but mostly undisturbed and

1429
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:39,240
Speaker 4: went back to watching cartoons. I followed him and asked

1430
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,840
Speaker 4: him what was wrong, And when he starts talking, I

1431
01:00:41,920 --> 01:00:44,439
Speaker 4: realize he's beginning to cry. He tells me that he's

1432
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 4: supposed to be our daughter's best friend, and then he

1433
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:48,720
Speaker 4: can't believe she would toss him aside like that because

1434
01:00:48,840 --> 01:00:50,040
Speaker 4: she's such a fake friend.

1435
01:00:50,240 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 3: God, I hate you.

1436
01:00:53,040 --> 01:00:55,720
Speaker 4: Now up until now, like I said, I thought this

1437
01:00:55,760 --> 01:00:59,320
Speaker 4: best friend thing was cute. I never realized exactly how

1438
01:00:59,360 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 4: serious my took this. If I had, I would have

1439
01:01:02,000 --> 01:01:04,040
Speaker 4: tried to put a stop to it early on. But

1440
01:01:04,080 --> 01:01:06,840
Speaker 4: then again, how exactly can you tell your husband to

1441
01:01:06,840 --> 01:01:10,000
Speaker 4: stop calling his kids his best friends? Anyway, I was

1442
01:01:10,040 --> 01:01:12,520
Speaker 4: a bit shocked at this point, and I admit I

1443
01:01:12,600 --> 01:01:15,200
Speaker 4: didn't use as much tact in my response as I

1444
01:01:15,280 --> 01:01:18,440
Speaker 4: probably could have, and asked him again if he's serious.

1445
01:01:18,480 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 4: He says, of course I am, and I tell him

1446
01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 4: that he's the parent. He's not supposed to be the

1447
01:01:22,920 --> 01:01:26,040
Speaker 4: best friend to his kids. He's supposed to be the parent,

1448
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:29,240
Speaker 4: and that he's twenty nine years older than our daughter.

1449
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,640
Speaker 4: Of course she's going to eventually make friends her own

1450
01:01:31,680 --> 01:01:34,120
Speaker 4: age and start considering them her best friends.

1451
01:01:34,360 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 3: I'm realizing this is actually quite odd, like, even beyond

1452
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:39,320
Speaker 3: the fact that it's comical, it's actually very odd and

1453
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:40,240
Speaker 3: a little concerning.

1454
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:42,640
Speaker 4: It is. I definitely think he needs to they have

1455
01:01:42,680 --> 01:01:46,120
Speaker 4: to have a really serious conversation about how he is

1456
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,360
Speaker 4: not really parenting and he's not able to come. He

1457
01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 4: wants to be their friend first. Yeah, which to an

1458
01:01:52,080 --> 01:01:54,840
Speaker 4: extent you can be, but it is always it should

1459
01:01:54,920 --> 01:01:57,680
Speaker 4: always be parent first, because a friend is not going

1460
01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,640
Speaker 4: to be able to, you know, put boundaries in place,

1461
01:01:59,680 --> 01:02:02,120
Speaker 4: in control role and all that, but a parent should be.

1462
01:02:02,200 --> 01:02:05,400
Speaker 3: And I think that also once you grow up in

1463
01:02:05,480 --> 01:02:09,640
Speaker 3: your GIRLD, your parent's best friend exactly, but growing up

1464
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,280
Speaker 3: there has to be a distinction for sure.

1465
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:14,280
Speaker 4: He tells me, I don't understand, and I told him

1466
01:02:14,280 --> 01:02:17,000
Speaker 4: he was being ridiculous and childish. He looks at me

1467
01:02:17,160 --> 01:02:19,160
Speaker 4: as if I just slapped him and tells me I'm

1468
01:02:19,160 --> 01:02:21,720
Speaker 4: being heartless and accused me of not wanting him to

1469
01:02:21,720 --> 01:02:24,000
Speaker 4: have a good relationship with our kids and left the

1470
01:02:24,040 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 4: house early to go to work. I have no idea

1471
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:29,360
Speaker 4: what to do. I almost feel ridiculous because how can

1472
01:02:29,360 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 4: someone have an issue with their husband loving their kids.

1473
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,520
Speaker 4: I feel insane, and I haven't been able to talk

1474
01:02:34,560 --> 01:02:36,720
Speaker 4: to any friends about this because I feel like they'll

1475
01:02:36,760 --> 01:02:38,760
Speaker 4: all be so you're mad at your husband for playing

1476
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 4: with your kids? What's wrong with you that? I just

1477
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:42,520
Speaker 4: don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how

1478
01:02:42,560 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 4: to address these issues with my husband in a way

1479
01:02:44,880 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 4: he'll understand, so we'll start being reasonable about them. I

1480
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:51,360
Speaker 4: also feel extremely anxious about everything now because my husband

1481
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 4: and I have been trying for the last two months

1482
01:02:53,280 --> 01:02:57,840
Speaker 4: to conceive another baby. Figure that out. We've got to

1483
01:02:57,840 --> 01:02:59,600
Speaker 4: figure it out before this baby comes. And now I

1484
01:02:59,600 --> 01:03:02,000
Speaker 4: don't want to bring another child into the world without

1485
01:03:02,080 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 4: having this mess sorted out. But I know telling my

1486
01:03:05,160 --> 01:03:07,360
Speaker 4: husband I want to wait on this third child will

1487
01:03:07,400 --> 01:03:10,200
Speaker 4: devastate him. He's like, I was just about to expand

1488
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 4: my friend's circle. Yo, there is an update. There is

1489
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:14,600
Speaker 4: an update.

1490
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:18,480
Speaker 3: It's so much more. Obviously, it's lovely for your husband

1491
01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:20,680
Speaker 3: to be so close with your kids and to feel

1492
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 3: a connection and want to be homies. Okay, cute, Yeah,

1493
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:27,720
Speaker 3: But also, like you said, one, that's not proper parenting. No,

1494
01:03:27,920 --> 01:03:29,840
Speaker 3: it's not being a good partner to.

1495
01:03:30,440 --> 01:03:31,880
Speaker 4: The responsibility on your wife.

1496
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:35,480
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I think and again even more so, it

1497
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:39,320
Speaker 3: is than like that, like the logistical like parenting asset.

1498
01:03:39,640 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 3: It's freaking weird. It's weird.

1499
01:03:42,880 --> 01:03:45,080
Speaker 4: Like especially, I feel like a lot of the other

1500
01:03:45,080 --> 01:03:47,720
Speaker 4: stuff wasn't too too weird. I mean, the breaking the

1501
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 4: toys was annoying, but I was I think the weird

1502
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,760
Speaker 4: part is being upset that your your daughter has another best.

1503
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:57,280
Speaker 3: Friend, that you're your five year old old, your five

1504
01:03:57,360 --> 01:03:58,960
Speaker 3: year old is being like daddy, I met Emily, Oh

1505
01:03:59,000 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 3: my god, I love Emily and you're like, no, it's

1506
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:02,640
Speaker 3: me girl.

1507
01:04:02,800 --> 01:04:05,760
Speaker 4: You know I'm your best friend. And also, and.

1508
01:04:05,640 --> 01:04:07,960
Speaker 3: I think the disrespectful part is like things like when

1509
01:04:08,000 --> 01:04:09,880
Speaker 3: the kids are trying to wind down and go to

1510
01:04:09,880 --> 01:04:12,120
Speaker 3: bed and your aunt being them up and that's it's

1511
01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,080
Speaker 3: just it's not being a good partner.

1512
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 4: No, no, But I think, what do we what do

1513
01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:20,320
Speaker 4: we do here right now? What's so P solution? I mean,

1514
01:04:20,360 --> 01:04:20,800
Speaker 4: I think.

1515
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:24,640
Speaker 3: OP has to have a talk about boundaries and then

1516
01:04:24,720 --> 01:04:29,480
Speaker 3: maybe also some couples counseling, some therapy together to figure

1517
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:32,040
Speaker 3: out how this can work out for both of them. Oh,

1518
01:04:32,360 --> 01:04:34,600
Speaker 3: and or going to the kids and bribing them to

1519
01:04:34,680 --> 01:04:36,120
Speaker 3: be mean to daddy like.

1520
01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:37,960
Speaker 4: Okay, go up to your dad and tell me I

1521
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:41,680
Speaker 4: hate you. Yeah, you're not my best friend exactly. But yeah, No,

1522
01:04:41,720 --> 01:04:44,960
Speaker 4: I think conversation is definitely needed. But let's get into

1523
01:04:44,960 --> 01:04:46,360
Speaker 4: this update and see what she did.

1524
01:04:46,520 --> 01:04:48,960
Speaker 5: Okay, let's see one month later.

1525
01:04:50,400 --> 01:04:52,520
Speaker 4: So I sat my husband down the night he got

1526
01:04:52,520 --> 01:04:55,160
Speaker 4: home from work after posting my OP, and we had

1527
01:04:55,240 --> 01:04:58,800
Speaker 4: a long talk. Again, this would be incredibly long if

1528
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:01,360
Speaker 4: I wrote all the details, So I'm going to summarize

1529
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:03,160
Speaker 4: and go in the order of my points I made

1530
01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:06,360
Speaker 4: in my OPI keep in mind our talk didn't followed

1531
01:05:06,400 --> 01:05:08,600
Speaker 4: the order of my post, so I'm sorry if anything

1532
01:05:08,600 --> 01:05:11,120
Speaker 4: seems confusing, since it would have been discussed out of order.

1533
01:05:11,920 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 4: On not knowing when to pause playtime, I told him

1534
01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,040
Speaker 4: that I know he loves playing with the kids, and

1535
01:05:17,080 --> 01:05:19,680
Speaker 4: I love that he loves playing with the kids, but

1536
01:05:19,720 --> 01:05:22,560
Speaker 4: that I really need him to work with me during bedtime.

1537
01:05:22,960 --> 01:05:24,920
Speaker 4: I also once again pointed out that their lack of

1538
01:05:24,960 --> 01:05:27,200
Speaker 4: sleep is making them grumpy and harder to manage in

1539
01:05:27,240 --> 01:05:29,920
Speaker 4: the mornings, and that they're growing and need their sleep.

1540
01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:32,800
Speaker 4: He's had a couple slip up since, but he's cooled

1541
01:05:32,800 --> 01:05:35,480
Speaker 4: it down around bedtime now and makes more of an

1542
01:05:35,480 --> 01:05:38,280
Speaker 4: effort to help me with bedtime. He started reading to

1543
01:05:38,320 --> 01:05:41,040
Speaker 4: them instead I used to do it, and is twenty

1544
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,200
Speaker 4: times better than me at it because they love the

1545
01:05:43,240 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 4: funny voices he gives the characters. On discipline, I told

1546
01:05:46,400 --> 01:05:49,080
Speaker 4: him it's not fair of him to constantly make me

1547
01:05:49,160 --> 01:05:51,600
Speaker 4: feel like the bad guy, and that no parent likes

1548
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:54,720
Speaker 4: disciplining their kids, but they need it to learn and

1549
01:05:54,760 --> 01:05:56,800
Speaker 4: grow into good adults, and that I need him to

1550
01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:59,320
Speaker 4: be united with me. On punishments, He's having a little

1551
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:02,040
Speaker 4: trouble with this one, but has been trying more, which

1552
01:06:02,080 --> 01:06:05,640
Speaker 4: I appreciate. On breaking their toys, I again told them

1553
01:06:05,640 --> 01:06:07,840
Speaker 4: that I know he loves playing with our kids, but

1554
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:11,520
Speaker 4: he needs to stop destroying their things. That not only

1555
01:06:11,680 --> 01:06:14,560
Speaker 4: is it upsetting them, but it's causing us to needlessly

1556
01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,000
Speaker 4: spend extra money to replace things that we don't need.

1557
01:06:17,320 --> 01:06:19,320
Speaker 4: I took this part of the talk to suggest we

1558
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:21,920
Speaker 4: finally get a full sized trampoline like we had been

1559
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:23,120
Speaker 4: talking about for a little while.

1560
01:06:23,160 --> 01:06:26,480
Speaker 3: There we go why exactly.

1561
01:06:26,080 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 4: And that he should dig out his bike from the

1562
01:06:28,560 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 4: garage so he can ride with our daughter when she.

1563
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:32,000
Speaker 3: Learns imagined him on a tricycle.

1564
01:06:32,440 --> 01:06:37,240
Speaker 4: Adulta. We're both probably more excited about the trampoline than

1565
01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:40,520
Speaker 4: the kids. Lol, me too, though trampolines are fun. We

1566
01:06:40,640 --> 01:06:43,000
Speaker 4: talked more about this topic, but these are the most

1567
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:45,480
Speaker 4: relevant points. He realized he goes a little too far

1568
01:06:45,640 --> 01:06:47,960
Speaker 4: after I described the scene I wrote about in miop

1569
01:06:48,320 --> 01:06:50,520
Speaker 4: with him riding around on their little cars while the

1570
01:06:50,600 --> 01:06:53,120
Speaker 4: kids are standing on the sidelines. I'm also happy to

1571
01:06:53,200 --> 01:06:55,840
Speaker 4: report he has stayed off our daughter's new bike. On

1572
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:58,120
Speaker 4: making the kids play when they don't want to. He

1573
01:06:58,200 --> 01:07:00,400
Speaker 4: agreed that it wasn't cool of him to push because

1574
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:02,800
Speaker 4: he wants to play. I told them our kids are people,

1575
01:07:02,840 --> 01:07:05,080
Speaker 4: and just because their kids doesn't mean they don't deserve

1576
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:08,440
Speaker 4: to have their boundaries respected. More time to themselves.

1577
01:07:08,440 --> 01:07:12,280
Speaker 3: Go mom, that's nice, big nice, that's big.

1578
01:07:12,560 --> 01:07:15,720
Speaker 4: And now on to the best friend thing. This was

1579
01:07:15,760 --> 01:07:18,440
Speaker 4: the first thing we discussed. Long story short, he was

1580
01:07:18,440 --> 01:07:21,240
Speaker 4: feeling hurt and generally having a little trouble accepting our

1581
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:24,480
Speaker 4: daughter was growing up. So okay, so it's like, still

1582
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:27,320
Speaker 4: I'm sad. It's a little bit weird, but I understand

1583
01:07:27,600 --> 01:07:29,960
Speaker 4: of the point of view of being like I was

1584
01:07:30,000 --> 01:07:31,640
Speaker 4: my you know, I'm your beste.

1585
01:07:31,880 --> 01:07:32,080
Speaker 6: Yeah.

1586
01:07:32,200 --> 01:07:35,160
Speaker 4: Now she's going off in the world. This is really

1587
01:07:35,200 --> 01:07:37,520
Speaker 4: the first big thing she's done or said to show

1588
01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:40,080
Speaker 4: that she is in fact growing up, and he just

1589
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:43,000
Speaker 4: wasn't expecting it and handling it very poorly, which he

1590
01:07:43,080 --> 01:07:44,920
Speaker 4: knew he did. I took a line from a comment

1591
01:07:44,960 --> 01:07:46,960
Speaker 4: on my op and told them our children will have

1592
01:07:47,120 --> 01:07:49,680
Speaker 4: lots of best friends in their lifetime, but he will

1593
01:07:49,680 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 4: always be their only dad. This visibly comforted him, so

1594
01:07:52,840 --> 01:07:55,160
Speaker 4: thank you to whoever it was who wrote that I

1595
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:57,600
Speaker 4: took a suggestion from someone on the OP and suggested

1596
01:07:57,640 --> 01:07:59,720
Speaker 4: that he call up his own parents and asked them

1597
01:07:59,760 --> 01:08:02,600
Speaker 4: for on how they handled watching four kids grow up

1598
01:08:02,600 --> 01:08:05,280
Speaker 4: and leave the nest. He really liked this idea and

1599
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:07,960
Speaker 4: has since done so. I also showed him stories commenters

1600
01:08:08,000 --> 01:08:10,280
Speaker 4: on my OP shared about the relationships with their parents

1601
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:12,320
Speaker 4: growing up. I told him that I'm not showing him

1602
01:08:12,360 --> 01:08:14,240
Speaker 4: them because I think he's going to become like those

1603
01:08:14,240 --> 01:08:16,679
Speaker 4: parents that I think it's important he sees the children's

1604
01:08:16,680 --> 01:08:19,719
Speaker 4: side of things. These stories hit him pretty hard, which

1605
01:08:19,840 --> 01:08:24,120
Speaker 4: led into this. I left something out of MYOP that

1606
01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:27,120
Speaker 4: I didn't realize was relevant. Lots of people asked how

1607
01:08:27,120 --> 01:08:29,720
Speaker 4: my husband's relationship with his parents was growing up, and

1608
01:08:29,800 --> 01:08:33,400
Speaker 4: I answered that it was great. However, my own relationship

1609
01:08:33,439 --> 01:08:36,559
Speaker 4: with my parents was horrible. Long story short, I don't

1610
01:08:36,560 --> 01:08:39,280
Speaker 4: get along with nor even like my parents, and I

1611
01:08:39,320 --> 01:08:41,320
Speaker 4: see Slash talk to them maybe once a year.

1612
01:08:41,439 --> 01:08:41,839
Speaker 3: Well.

1613
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,280
Speaker 4: Growing up was miserable, to say the least, and it

1614
01:08:44,320 --> 01:08:46,960
Speaker 4: affected me for quite a long time, where I was

1615
01:08:47,000 --> 01:08:50,640
Speaker 4: a huge ball of anger and resentment because of the

1616
01:08:50,680 --> 01:08:53,320
Speaker 4: way my parents treated me. I told my husband about

1617
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 4: all of this a few months after we started dating.

1618
01:08:55,439 --> 01:08:58,519
Speaker 4: So he was aware of everything from the start. My

1619
01:08:58,600 --> 01:09:01,080
Speaker 4: husband told me he told himself he would be the

1620
01:09:01,120 --> 01:09:03,800
Speaker 4: best dad he could be because he wanted our kids

1621
01:09:03,800 --> 01:09:06,679
Speaker 4: to have the childhood he knew I wanted and wanted

1622
01:09:06,760 --> 01:09:07,200
Speaker 4: for them.

1623
01:09:07,280 --> 01:09:07,519
Speaker 5: Now.

1624
01:09:07,640 --> 01:09:09,680
Speaker 4: I started crying here and was a bit of a

1625
01:09:09,720 --> 01:09:12,320
Speaker 4: mess for a few minutes. Lol. It was honestly one

1626
01:09:12,320 --> 01:09:15,720
Speaker 4: of the most touching things anyone has ever said to me.

1627
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,080
Speaker 4: I told him he is the best dad and that

1628
01:09:18,160 --> 01:09:20,240
Speaker 4: I love him so much for it. Finding out that

1629
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:22,400
Speaker 4: this was essentially the root of everything, it was a

1630
01:09:22,400 --> 01:09:25,160
Speaker 4: lot easier to continue on with the rest of my points.

1631
01:09:25,320 --> 01:09:28,439
Speaker 4: Everything has been great since he really listened to what

1632
01:09:28,520 --> 01:09:30,439
Speaker 4: I was saying this time, and I want you guys

1633
01:09:30,479 --> 01:09:32,720
Speaker 4: to listen to what we say all the time by

1634
01:09:32,800 --> 01:09:35,240
Speaker 4: joining us Live every weekday at three PMPs too. Just

1635
01:09:35,280 --> 01:09:36,040
Speaker 4: to have her profile.

1636
01:09:36,240 --> 01:09:37,280
Speaker 5: That was so good.

1637
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:39,360
Speaker 4: But there is a little bit more to this story

1638
01:09:39,400 --> 01:09:42,400
Speaker 4: to finish it off. But VISal was just a teeny

1639
01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:46,439
Speaker 4: little bit more. But do you think that op handled

1640
01:09:46,439 --> 01:09:48,840
Speaker 4: it well? Is there anything else she needs to do

1641
01:09:49,040 --> 01:09:51,040
Speaker 4: or the dad needs to do?

1642
01:09:51,240 --> 01:09:52,800
Speaker 3: I don't know. For the first time in a while,

1643
01:09:52,880 --> 01:09:54,800
Speaker 3: like most of the stories, I'm laying what the heck, yeah,

1644
01:09:54,840 --> 01:09:58,280
Speaker 3: and then it seems positive. It seems like their communication

1645
01:09:58,439 --> 01:09:58,760
Speaker 3: is great.

1646
01:09:58,880 --> 01:10:00,280
Speaker 4: They're on the up trend right now, I know.

1647
01:10:00,520 --> 01:10:04,960
Speaker 3: And I think maybe they both, if they're not in therapy,

1648
01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:06,280
Speaker 3: could get in it because it.

1649
01:10:06,320 --> 01:10:08,040
Speaker 5: Seems like he's always helpful.

1650
01:10:08,120 --> 01:10:11,040
Speaker 3: It seems like they both have some interesting relationships with

1651
01:10:11,120 --> 01:10:13,640
Speaker 3: their families and what that means for the kind of

1652
01:10:13,680 --> 01:10:14,760
Speaker 3: families they want.

1653
01:10:14,960 --> 01:10:18,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, just with parenting in general, either with their own

1654
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:21,320
Speaker 4: parents or with parenting their kids. But yeah, it seems

1655
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:24,519
Speaker 4: like they're figuring it out, which is the communication was

1656
01:10:24,600 --> 01:10:27,719
Speaker 4: there and I appreciate that. Yeah, and he has become

1657
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:29,920
Speaker 4: a big effort to help me out more while also

1658
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:31,640
Speaker 4: cooling it a bit with the kids. Him and our

1659
01:10:31,720 --> 01:10:34,599
Speaker 4: daughter have been riding around on their bikes together every weekend.

1660
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,519
Speaker 4: I've also started learning how to ride so I can

1661
01:10:37,600 --> 01:10:40,679
Speaker 4: eventually join again. I want to thank everyone for commenting

1662
01:10:40,680 --> 01:10:42,960
Speaker 4: on my op and helping me gather my thoughts. I

1663
01:10:43,000 --> 01:10:44,840
Speaker 4: thought a few things said about my husband were a

1664
01:10:44,840 --> 01:10:48,439
Speaker 4: bit extreme, but I realized that's something that happens when

1665
01:10:48,479 --> 01:10:50,840
Speaker 4: people give advice on a situation they only have so

1666
01:10:50,920 --> 01:10:53,880
Speaker 4: much info on. And also when you ask Reddit. I

1667
01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:57,480
Speaker 4: think that's it also just when you ask reddits that's

1668
01:10:57,479 --> 01:11:01,479
Speaker 5: Pretty grace, pretty gray, but that is the end of

1669
01:11:01,520 --> 01:11:02,120
Speaker 5: that story.