WEBVTT - Heavyweight Short: Cody

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<v Speaker 1>So kayleie, Yeah, we have a heavyweight short for the

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<v Speaker 1>people this week, a short that you produced. How do

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<v Speaker 1>I best describe what a heavyweight short is?

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<v Speaker 2>I think you should just do like a heavyweight short,

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<v Speaker 2>you say all the things you love about heavyweight, but

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<v Speaker 2>just in a shorter, more digestible format for this fast

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<v Speaker 2>paced world.

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<v Speaker 1>Guess what what you just introduced our heavyweight short.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Today's heavyweight short Cody. Right after the break, Cody

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<v Speaker 1>describes his mom, Paula as Cudley. Some of his earliest

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<v Speaker 1>memories are of the two of them just snuggling, just.

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<v Speaker 3>Like her laying on the couch and me being small

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<v Speaker 3>enough at the time where she had her like her

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<v Speaker 3>legs crolled, you know, and you could almost hide behind

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<v Speaker 3>her legs in the couch and make a little ford.

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<v Speaker 1>Paula provided Cody with comfort even when she wasn't around.

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<v Speaker 1>When he was five, she sewed him a blanket stitched

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<v Speaker 1>with cartoon bunnies, which Cody took everywhere, and when he

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<v Speaker 1>grew too old for carrying around a blanket, he still

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<v Speaker 1>slept with it at night. In the summer before Cody's

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<v Speaker 1>freshman year, Paula went in for knee surgery. She suffered

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<v Speaker 1>from arthritis, and over the years the pain had only

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<v Speaker 1>grown worse. Cody's understanding was that the operation was all

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<v Speaker 1>very routine, but on the morning of the surgery, Cody

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<v Speaker 1>remembers being asleep under the bunny blanket when he was

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<v Speaker 1>awoken by his sister. We need to go to the

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<v Speaker 1>hospital right away, she said. It seems that post surgery,

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<v Speaker 1>a blood clot had moved up to Paula's lung. While

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<v Speaker 1>walking down the hospital hallway, she suddenly collapsed.

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<v Speaker 3>We drove to the hospital and you know, like when

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<v Speaker 3>we were able to just walk in the room and

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<v Speaker 3>my sister and you could just tell from just how

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<v Speaker 3>everybody was positioned, just she's dead. And then I just

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<v Speaker 3>sat down next to my grandpa. I don't think it

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<v Speaker 3>fully hit me. I just remember just just staring and

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<v Speaker 3>just sitting and not knowing what to feel.

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<v Speaker 1>Her death was so sudden that nobody in the family

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<v Speaker 1>knew what to feel. At the funeral home, Cody placed

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<v Speaker 1>the bunny blanket in Paula's coffin. The person who had

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<v Speaker 1>always been there to hold Cody and provide him with

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<v Speaker 1>solace during hard times was the person who is now gone.

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<v Speaker 1>As for the rest of the family, rather than joining together,

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<v Speaker 1>they withdrew from one another. His two older sisters and

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<v Speaker 1>his brothers spent most of their time alone in their rooms,

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<v Speaker 1>and their father, who'd been in poor health for years,

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<v Speaker 1>no longer had Paula to look after him. He had

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<v Speaker 1>to be moved into a nursing home. The family was

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<v Speaker 1>falling apart.

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<v Speaker 3>My mom was the glue. It's like when she died,

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<v Speaker 3>it just we always just kind of drifted in our

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<v Speaker 3>own directions. Yeah, we just didn't know how to talk

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<v Speaker 3>to each other. So I kind of just receded into

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<v Speaker 3>my own little my own little room, and did my own,

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<v Speaker 3>my own thing. Just wanted to just be left alone.

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<v Speaker 1>Paula was buried in the cemetery across the street from

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<v Speaker 1>Cody's house. The grave became the place where Cody went

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<v Speaker 1>when he needed to unburden himself. Saying things in his

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<v Speaker 1>head wasn't as good as talking out loud, but talking

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<v Speaker 1>out loud in his bedroom and the rest of the

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<v Speaker 1>family could hear, so he'd walk across the street and

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<v Speaker 1>talk to a tombstone. Although still in a state of grief,

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<v Speaker 1>Cody tried to return to normal life. This meant pre

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<v Speaker 1>season football practice, running drills, doing laps, and lifting weights.

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<v Speaker 1>It was while training in the high school's Dingy weight

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<v Speaker 1>room one day that his new coach, Coach Walling, has

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<v Speaker 1>to see him. Coach Walling was like a coach out

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<v Speaker 1>of Central Casting, tall and athletic. He always wore shorts,

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<v Speaker 1>even in the dead of winter. It was Cody's first

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<v Speaker 1>year on the team and he hadn't interacted with Coach

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<v Speaker 1>Walling much at all, so when he asked Cody to

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<v Speaker 1>step out into the hall, Cody's first thought was that

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<v Speaker 1>he was somehow in trouble.

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<v Speaker 3>And I remember walking out and I don't know if

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<v Speaker 3>he had said anything or there was a lead in.

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<v Speaker 3>I don't think there was. But the thing that I

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<v Speaker 3>remember was just him reaching out and just hugging me

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<v Speaker 3>so just so tightly. You know how when you go

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<v Speaker 3>for a hug you can do the up dat like

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<v Speaker 3>one arm up, one lower. I didn't have that chance,

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<v Speaker 3>like he just hugged me.

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<v Speaker 1>Since his mother's death, no one had done just that.

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<v Speaker 1>Cody's family and friends weren't really the hugging type. There

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<v Speaker 1>might have been a couple of polite hugs, some perfunctory hugs,

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<v Speaker 1>but Coach Walling, basically a stranger, was hugging Cody with

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<v Speaker 1>what felt like all his heart.

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<v Speaker 3>He held me for a few moments. I remember it

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<v Speaker 3>so strongly. I get kind of teary eyed just thinking

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<v Speaker 3>about it, just because it was just something I just

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<v Speaker 3>I really needed without knowing it, and I just it

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<v Speaker 3>was just something that I needed. It felt caring.

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<v Speaker 1>Shortly after the day of the hug, Coach Walling took

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<v Speaker 1>a job at another school and Cody never saw him again,

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<v Speaker 1>but the moment remained with Cody. From then on, Cody

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<v Speaker 1>started hugging all the time. He became the guy who'd

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<v Speaker 1>hugs friends when they were having a bad day.

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<v Speaker 3>And like even now with my wife, I just want

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<v Speaker 3>hugs more than anything from her. Like I came home,

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<v Speaker 3>I want to hug before I go to bed, I

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<v Speaker 3>want to hug. And she didn't understand it, and so

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<v Speaker 3>actually I had told her this story, and she's like,

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<v Speaker 3>that makes sense. Why you want to hug all the time,

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<v Speaker 3>Like there's a you know, there's always a few things

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<v Speaker 3>you always remember in your life. You know, your your

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<v Speaker 3>your kid being born, your marriage, and then for me,

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<v Speaker 3>it's that hug. He's going to be included Holy how God.

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<v Speaker 3>I wish I could find him and just thank him,

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<v Speaker 3>let him know that it mattered.

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<v Speaker 1>After doing some digging, I found out that coach Walling

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<v Speaker 1>is John Walling. He recently retired after thirty six years

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<v Speaker 1>of coaching. I tell Cody I was able to track

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<v Speaker 1>him down. Oh okay, I have his phone number and

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<v Speaker 1>we can give him a call right now.

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<v Speaker 3>Would it be okay if we rescheduled for that. I

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<v Speaker 3>actually have to be in bed and a half hour

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<v Speaker 3>so I can make my time tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>Cody's a truck driver and a shift begins at two

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<v Speaker 1>thirty am. I understand why he would want to call

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<v Speaker 1>it a night, but as we continue to talk, it

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<v Speaker 1>feels like something else is at play.

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<v Speaker 3>No, im not like I do, I really do, but no,

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<v Speaker 3>that's amazing, Like I'm that give me just one second.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, yeah, of course, of course, take what you need?

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<v Speaker 3>Thank you? H Okay, yeah, I don't I don't know it,

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<v Speaker 3>Like what do you say? I don't know. It's just

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<v Speaker 3>I'm really nervous now, but but yeah, we can. We

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<v Speaker 3>can do it.

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<v Speaker 1>You want to do it? Yeah, okay, let's do it.

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<v Speaker 3>It's uh, it's John. Right before I don't.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's it's yeah, it's John. It's John Walling. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I guess I'll say hi first.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, Hello, this is John.

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<v Speaker 1>Hi John, This is Jonathan Goldstein.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, Hello, how are you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'd let John know I'd be phoning with a student

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<v Speaker 1>of his name, Cody from sixteen years ago. Oh, but

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<v Speaker 1>hadn't said much more than that. I have someone here

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<v Speaker 1>who is wanting to talk to you.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Hi, John, Hey, what's going on? Hey? Been been

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<v Speaker 3>a crazy life. Have a little farm that we live on.

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<v Speaker 3>We're up in Marshalltown.

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<v Speaker 4>My dad lived in Marshalltown. His claim to fame is

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<v Speaker 4>that he was the longest baby born in Marshalltown.

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<v Speaker 1>With the pleasantries and the my dad was a longer

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<v Speaker 1>baby than your dad, macho male bonding out of the way.

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<v Speaker 1>I asked John if he remembers Cody.

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<v Speaker 3>I do, I do. So. Do you remember that that

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<v Speaker 3>summer in the in the weight room, my uh my

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<v Speaker 3>mom had passed away, and I remember you reaching out

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<v Speaker 3>and just and just give me the this biggest, this

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<v Speaker 3>long heartfelt hug, and it meant It's just been following

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<v Speaker 3>me for years and years and years now, and I've

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<v Speaker 3>been wanting to thank you for it for the longest time,

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<v Speaker 3>because it just meant so much to me.

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<v Speaker 1>When two people overlap in time and space, there's never

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<v Speaker 1>any guarantee that what one person experienced as a special

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<v Speaker 1>moment isn't for the other person just to BLib something

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<v Speaker 1>they sort of remember or want to remember out of

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<v Speaker 1>politeness or kindness. But today this isn't the case.

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<v Speaker 3>I do remember that, and I'm sorry.

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<v Speaker 4>I remember that very, very vividly what I had lost

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<v Speaker 4>my mom in nineteen ninety seven, and so it was

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<v Speaker 4>those emotions were still raw and real, and I'm not

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<v Speaker 4>sure they ever heal.

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<v Speaker 1>So when coach Walling heard about the boy on the

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<v Speaker 1>football team whose mom also died, he felt compelled to

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<v Speaker 1>say or do something. He just didn't know exactly what

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<v Speaker 1>were you intending to hug him? Or was it something

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<v Speaker 1>that just happened. Yeah, I didn't know, not at all.

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<v Speaker 4>I mean that it kind of came out of left field.

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<v Speaker 4>I felt such a pain of losing my mama that

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<v Speaker 4>it just felt that that reaction just seemed natural as

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<v Speaker 4>a response to the pain.

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<v Speaker 1>Where were you would you describe yourself as a as

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<v Speaker 1>a hugger before that? Before that day, no no, no.

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<v Speaker 1>For Coach Walling, not only had the hug with Cody

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<v Speaker 1>been a moment, it was the moment.

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<v Speaker 4>From that moment on, it became easier and easier and

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<v Speaker 4>more okay and more okay.

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<v Speaker 3>For me to hug guys, and and you.

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<v Speaker 4>Know, to show that as a raw emotion. And so Cody,

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<v Speaker 4>I I'm I'm very grateful and honored that it helped you,

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<v Speaker 4>but I wanted you to know that you helped me

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<v Speaker 4>as well.

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<v Speaker 1>John says that just like Cody, he didn't have a

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<v Speaker 1>lot of huggers in his life. His dad was definitely

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<v Speaker 1>not a hugger.

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<v Speaker 3>He was a World War two and Korea veteran.

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<v Speaker 4>Who I mean, I saw him cry when my mama died,

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<v Speaker 4>and that was it. He was an old rugged warrior

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<v Speaker 4>that you know that wasn't yet that was not what

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<v Speaker 4>you did.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and and and and with you Like with my dad,

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<v Speaker 3>like he's in he's in a home now, I like

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<v Speaker 3>to I like to tease him a little bit. So

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<v Speaker 3>when I when I visit him and in the home,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll be like, all right, Dad, here's your hug, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and I go in. When when I first started doing it,

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<v Speaker 3>he would you know, shake his head and go no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 3>no no, and and light me pat me back. But

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<v Speaker 3>now I think I think I've whotled him down enough.

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<v Speaker 3>He's like, Okay, your your point, John, about how after

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<v Speaker 3>that you just it felt better or okay for for

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<v Speaker 3>guys to hug, and it just it became a thing.

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<v Speaker 3>It did for me too. I think just seeing a

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<v Speaker 3>strong male figure like that, just just showing compassion, it

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<v Speaker 3>strayed to slowly realize to me just how much hugs

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<v Speaker 3>can mean, you know.

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<v Speaker 4>And I know, and honestly it sounds kind of silly

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<v Speaker 4>to say that until you need it, you know. I'm

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<v Speaker 4>I'm not ashamed to say I'm a hugger and I

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<v Speaker 4>and I feel like I feel I feel like I

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<v Speaker 4>have a fuller life because of it. I should tell

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<v Speaker 4>everybody I love them too, And I don't if that

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<v Speaker 4>sounds strange, fantastic.

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<v Speaker 3>John, John, I do the same thing. And I don't

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<v Speaker 3>think that would have happened if it wasn't for you.

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<v Speaker 4>Well, I can't thank you enough for for you know,

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<v Speaker 4>I'm the most blessed guy you're ever going to get

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<v Speaker 4>on the phone. I feel so very blessed that you

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<v Speaker 4>took the time and effort to try to find me.

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<v Speaker 4>I appreciate that, and I love you.

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<v Speaker 3>I love you too, Jean.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, you know there's only one thing left to do.

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<v Speaker 3>Oh, I don't I don't know, I don't know what.

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<v Speaker 1>Virtual hugs, virtual.

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<v Speaker 3>Okay, you have a good you have a good night.

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<v Speaker 1>You too, take it easy, and I guess I love you.

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<v Speaker 1>I love you too, man.

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<v Speaker 5>Thanks John, Bye, bye bye.

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<v Speaker 1>This Heavyweight short was produced by senior producer Khalila Holt

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<v Speaker 1>Hello and Me Jonathan Goldstein, along with Moheeney Mictgawker. Our

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<v Speaker 1>supervising producer is Stevie Lane. Production help from Damiano Marquetti.

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<v Speaker 1>Special thanks to Emily Condon, Aaron Randall, and Hannah Chan.

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<v Speaker 1>Bobby Lord mixed the episode with original music by Christine Fellows,

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<v Speaker 1>John K. Sampson, Blue Dot Sessions, and Bobby Lord. Follow

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<v Speaker 1>us on Twitter at Heavyweight or email us at Heavyweight

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<v Speaker 1>at Gimletmedia dot com. We'll be back with a new

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<v Speaker 1>episode in two weeks.