1 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:14,480 Speaker 1: Good morning, peeps, and welcome to will Gate f Daily 2 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 1: with Me your Girl Danielle Moody pre recording from the 3 00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:22,120 Speaker 1: Brooklyn Bunker, Folks, I hope that you are enjoying this 4 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: week in March of our Women Power Week. I wanted 5 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:33,240 Speaker 1: to bring you conversations and books and inspiration and important 6 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: news from a woman's perspective, as you get that usually 7 00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,360 Speaker 1: with me, but I wanted to make a conscious effort 8 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:45,480 Speaker 1: over the course of this week while I'm away on vacation, 9 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:51,520 Speaker 1: to bring you some really thoughtful conversations, particularly this one. 10 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,520 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to welcome to the show for the 11 00:00:56,640 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: very first time Deepa Porta Shafman, who is the author 12 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: of the First, The Few, and the Only, How Women 13 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:09,959 Speaker 1: of Color Can Redefine Power in Corporate America. Deepa and 14 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:13,680 Speaker 1: I will get into a conversation that I think is 15 00:01:14,520 --> 00:01:17,920 Speaker 1: you know a similar story that many of us who 16 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: have worked, whether you've worked in the nonprofit spere, if 17 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:25,360 Speaker 1: you've worked for government, if you have worked in corporate America, 18 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: have experienced the emotional and physical fatigue of microaggressions that 19 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,880 Speaker 1: don't seem so micro when you were facing utter and 20 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:44,080 Speaker 1: complete burnout. Deepa found herself as one of the very 21 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: few and only woman of color in the C suite 22 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: in her company, and Deepa was working, you know, ridiculous hours, 23 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: traveling a majority of the year, living outside of a suitcase, 24 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, she started to feel incredibly unwell. 25 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 1: She'll tell the story about how when she was off 26 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:14,720 Speaker 1: from work, she was sleeping fourteen hour days, that the exhaustion, 27 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: the way that she was looking and feeling. She would 28 00:02:19,320 --> 00:02:23,200 Speaker 1: go through fifteen doctors before she would get a diagnosis. 29 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:28,079 Speaker 1: That was that had gone overlooked because we tell women 30 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: that when you hit a certain age, oh it's your forties, 31 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:34,720 Speaker 1: Oh it's this, Oh it's that. We don't take into 32 00:02:34,760 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 1: consideration the physical effects of burnout, the physical effects of 33 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:45,360 Speaker 1: what it is like spending your entire professional life contorting 34 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:49,079 Speaker 1: yourself into a pretzel to fit in to other people's 35 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:52,079 Speaker 1: expectations and ideas about how you should show up and 36 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: how you should present. There is a unspoken of weight 37 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:03,880 Speaker 1: that women of color, and I would argue LGBTQ women, 38 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:09,959 Speaker 1: women from most marginalized communities face right that we don't 39 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,040 Speaker 1: talk about. We're just told to kind of keep your 40 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:16,200 Speaker 1: head down and keep working and not having to deal 41 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,560 Speaker 1: with the job that you will hire to deal with, 42 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:23,920 Speaker 1: and then all of the misogyny, the racism, right, the 43 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,639 Speaker 1: homophobia in some cases the transphobia on top of that. 44 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you this. I tell you it's a 45 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: little bit of a story before I introduce the conversation 46 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: with Deepa. So, I, you know, had been working and 47 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:47,720 Speaker 1: have always worked in political and policy spaces, and you know, 48 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: by virtue of being raised as one of the only 49 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:56,560 Speaker 1: one right in a white suburb out east on Long Island, 50 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 1: I was used to what it was like to be 51 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: in a classroom and be the only black person right. 52 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: That had been my norm. I was used to being 53 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: on sports team and in spaces where I was the 54 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:13,640 Speaker 1: only person, only person of color, and recognizing, you know, 55 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:18,440 Speaker 1: I put an un know an unneeded burden on myself 56 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,400 Speaker 1: as a young person because I decided that I would 57 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: see myself as an ambassador right that I may be 58 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,839 Speaker 1: the only black person that some of these families, some 59 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,680 Speaker 1: of these kids, ever come into contact with. So I 60 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 1: felt the pressure of having to be this model black 61 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:41,320 Speaker 1: person so that somehow, in my mind, I would stop 62 00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:45,440 Speaker 1: them later down the road from being racist. Think about 63 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: that think about being in middle school and recognizing that 64 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,719 Speaker 1: you are the sole black person that many people around 65 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:57,520 Speaker 1: you are ever going to come into contact with, and 66 00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 1: that you feel the burden of forming and acting in 67 00:05:01,120 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 1: such a way so that somehow you're going to be 68 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,080 Speaker 1: able to shift their thinking about other black people, because 69 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:14,240 Speaker 1: in their mind they'll say, oh, but I knew Danielle folks. 70 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:17,480 Speaker 1: The fact that I even thought that, the fact that 71 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:23,880 Speaker 1: I even did that for so long is ridiculous. And 72 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:28,120 Speaker 1: that's what I talk about when I say the burden 73 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:34,120 Speaker 1: right of having to show up, be perfect, right, navigate 74 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: microaggressions of people telling me that, oh, you know, your 75 00:05:37,680 --> 00:05:39,919 Speaker 1: writing is not that great. And I would say, to 76 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:43,520 Speaker 1: these white men who would critique me, where was the 77 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,839 Speaker 1: last place that you were published? Please show me, because 78 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:51,640 Speaker 1: I'm published in a variety of outlets. So how dare 79 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 1: you come to me and say that my writing isn't 80 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: up to your part? I said, well, it seemed to 81 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: have worked for Cosmo, seemed to have worked for the 82 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,760 Speaker 1: Center for American Progress, it seemed to have worked for Vogue. 83 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:07,240 Speaker 1: I'm confused about why it doesn't work for you, right, 84 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: So deep an Eye we'll talk about you know, a 85 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: lot of the ways in which one we are forced 86 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:26,400 Speaker 1: into this minimal view, this crouching that women do to 87 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: not really be seen or to just fit in, and 88 00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:35,600 Speaker 1: how that begins to break us down emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 89 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,520 Speaker 1: And so what does it look like to create a network, right, 90 00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: a community of women that can be of support to 91 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,680 Speaker 1: one another, so that you don't feel alone and you 92 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 1: don't feel crazy, like you're the only one that is 93 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: navigating the obstacles that are put in place by whiteness 94 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:57,359 Speaker 1: and patriarchy, right, and that we are dealing with so 95 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:01,520 Speaker 1: many things at one time when other people, white men, 96 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 1: to just get to show up at work and perform, right, 97 00:07:06,839 --> 00:07:08,680 Speaker 1: or white women, Okay, they get to show up at 98 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:12,400 Speaker 1: work and perform, but then they're still right the misogyny. Well, 99 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: if you're a woman of color, you're dealing with the misogyny, 100 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:20,720 Speaker 1: you're dealing with the patriarchy, you're dealing with the racism. 101 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,920 Speaker 1: You know, it's enough to drive people crazy. So deep 102 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 1: Up writes this, Women of color comprise one of the 103 00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:36,160 Speaker 1: fastest growing segments in the corporate workforce, yet often we 104 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:40,560 Speaker 1: are underrepresented among the first few or only ones in 105 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 1: a department or company for too long, corporate structures, social zeitgeist, 106 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:51,360 Speaker 1: and cultural conditioning have left us feeling exhausted and downtrodden, 107 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 1: believing that in order to quote fit in and be successful, 108 00:07:56,320 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: we must hide or change who we are. As a 109 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: former senior partner at a large global services firm, Deepa 110 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: Portoshatman experience these feelings of isolation and burnout. She met 111 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 1: with hundreds of other women of color across industries and 112 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:18,840 Speaker 1: cultural backgrounds, eager to hear about their unique and shared experiences. 113 00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:23,480 Speaker 1: In In doing so, she has come to understand our 114 00:08:23,560 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 1: collective setbacks and the path forward in achieving our goals. Business, 115 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: she writes, must evolve, and women of color have the 116 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:37,160 Speaker 1: potential to lead that transformation. We must begin by pushing 117 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:42,120 Speaker 1: back against toxic messaging, including the things we tell ourselves, 118 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:47,360 Speaker 1: while embracing the valuable cultural viewpoints and experiences that give 119 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: us unique perspectives at work. By fully realizing our own strengths, 120 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:57,800 Speaker 1: we can build collective power and use it to confront microaggressions, 121 00:08:57,920 --> 00:09:04,000 Speaker 1: outdated norms, and work place misconceptions, create cultures we're belonging 122 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 1: is never conditional, and rework corporations to be genuinely inclusive 123 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: to all, the first, the few, the only is a 124 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 1: roadmap for us to make a profound impact within and 125 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:24,080 Speaker 1: outside our organizations while ensuring that our words are heard, 126 00:09:24,400 --> 00:09:31,520 Speaker 1: our lived experiences are respected, and our contributions are finally valued. Folks, 127 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 1: if you are a veteran in the workforce, if you 128 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:40,959 Speaker 1: are new to the workforce and a woman of color, 129 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,600 Speaker 1: this book is for you. If you are a white 130 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,439 Speaker 1: woman or a white man, but you are in a 131 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:52,280 Speaker 1: managing position, a position of power, this book is for you. 132 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: We can't create cultures and environments that are inclusive without 133 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 1: identifying that there is a problem to begin with, and 134 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 1: what we are each doing to either perpetuate the wrongs 135 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,840 Speaker 1: that we see or ignore them so that there's no 136 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 1: opportunity for change or expansion. Deepa gives in this book 137 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:18,480 Speaker 1: some really thoughtful advice as well as shares her own 138 00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:23,040 Speaker 1: experience about being the only one and how it almost 139 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:28,679 Speaker 1: cost her her life, her well being, her health. And 140 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 1: this is why you know, on wok F I try 141 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,120 Speaker 1: and talk about wellness, you know, as often as I can. 142 00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:39,560 Speaker 1: And it's four reasons like this that we are all 143 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:43,320 Speaker 1: managing and dealing with so much and on top of that. 144 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 1: If you are a person of color, if you are 145 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 1: a queer person or a person from a marginalized community, 146 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: you are dealing with the fuckery on top of fuckery 147 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:58,320 Speaker 1: every day. Right. It is exhausting, and you need to 148 00:10:58,360 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: build up your reserve right as you go to battle 149 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,680 Speaker 1: each and every day. It's why I meditate, go walking, 150 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:10,080 Speaker 1: build community with friends that are like minded and caring, 151 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,600 Speaker 1: that can hold some of the pains and strains that 152 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:16,240 Speaker 1: I deal with on a regular basis. We all need that. 153 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:21,400 Speaker 1: I can remember, you know a friend many many years ago, 154 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 1: it's said, to deal with this world, you need a team, 155 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:29,640 Speaker 1: right if you can afford to hire that team in 156 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 1: terms of a personal trainer, a meditation guru, a you know, 157 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:41,880 Speaker 1: a bodywork person, a therapist. You need a team. Getting 158 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,960 Speaker 1: through this life, particularly now ain't fucking easy. So Deepa 159 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:52,480 Speaker 1: offers in her book, folks, a pathway, a guideline for us, 160 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:56,280 Speaker 1: and also some wonderful essays that allow us to realize 161 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:59,840 Speaker 1: that we are not alone. So coming up next my 162 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 1: conversation with the brilliant Deepa Portashatman, I hope that you enjoy, folks. 163 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: I am very excited to welcome to wok F a 164 00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:17,920 Speaker 1: daily for the very first time author of the book, 165 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,920 Speaker 1: The First, the Few, the Only, How women of Color 166 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:27,040 Speaker 1: can redefine power in Corporate America. Deepa Pershathaman, thank you 167 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:30,439 Speaker 1: so much for joining woke F and for writing a 168 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:33,200 Speaker 1: book that you know. Mind you. I want to say 169 00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:36,160 Speaker 1: that this may be one of the first to really 170 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: examine what it is like to be a woman of 171 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,960 Speaker 1: color in in corporate America. To be a woman of 172 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:48,160 Speaker 1: color in any workplace and professional setting is a space 173 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: where you're doing multiple jobs. You're doing the one that 174 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: you were hired for, uh, and then a lot of 175 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 1: the behind the scenes work to you know, unpack white supremacy, 176 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:04,200 Speaker 1: to back you know, uh, misogyny, to do all of 177 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:08,199 Speaker 1: these things as the first So talk to us about 178 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:12,960 Speaker 1: how this book came to be and what experiences you 179 00:13:13,040 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 1: have had that led you to the creation of this book. Yes, 180 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,400 Speaker 1: thank you so first of all, thank you for having me. Yes, 181 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,319 Speaker 1: I want to believe it's one of the first books, 182 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,120 Speaker 1: but it's not the first book. There's out you know, 183 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: of course, other books out there, and I want to 184 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:29,240 Speaker 1: give them their due because my sisters also need attention 185 00:13:29,679 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: for the books that they have done like Menda Hearts 186 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: right has been a pioneer this work, and so I 187 00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,559 Speaker 1: love her work. But yes, it does feel like this 188 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: is one of the first books that has this many stories. Right, 189 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 1: So I interviewed over five hundred women of color. Was 190 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: very intentional in the term women of color, and we 191 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 1: can unpack that as well. But it started because of 192 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,080 Speaker 1: my own journey. So I was a partner in a 193 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,480 Speaker 1: very large firm, Deloitte. I was one of our first partner. 194 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 1: I made partner young and candidly. Being a first I 195 00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 1: didn't see role models that look like me, and there 196 00:13:58,280 --> 00:13:59,960 Speaker 1: weren't a lot of women of color in front of me, 197 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: whether it was the company or other clients, and so 198 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:04,920 Speaker 1: there was always a struggle of belonging and fitting in. 199 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,680 Speaker 1: It also kind of came in how I grew up. 200 00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:09,640 Speaker 1: I grew up in a white town, and so navigating 201 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,719 Speaker 1: spaces and schools and universities that, you know, where I 202 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,880 Speaker 1: didn't feel like I belonged and I was making it 203 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:17,360 Speaker 1: up as I go. We also didn't talk about race 204 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,000 Speaker 1: at home, which might be different from some of your listeners. 205 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,320 Speaker 1: Like being of Indian descent, my parents were immigrants to 206 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 1: this country, so there was a lot of if you 207 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:26,200 Speaker 1: just work hard, it'll all work itself out, and I 208 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 1: would navigate spaces and no, that's not the case. But 209 00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:31,680 Speaker 1: there was no place to have that conversation. And so 210 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:34,120 Speaker 1: as I was struggling, I struggled for three years and 211 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,880 Speaker 1: whether or not I wanted to quit my job or 212 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 1: leave my job. I was in a very senior role, 213 00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: highly visible, all eyes on me, you know, at the 214 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 1: height of my career, and it was a combination of 215 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 1: questions around purpose and then getting really sick in all 216 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,800 Speaker 1: candle like burnt out. Probably traumatize that we can unpack 217 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:52,680 Speaker 1: as well. And I started meeting with women of color. 218 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,400 Speaker 1: Very long answer, very sure. I started meeting with women 219 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,520 Speaker 1: of color. It started one on one, then two person, 220 00:14:57,560 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: then three person, and then with my now business, we 221 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,920 Speaker 1: ended up doing twelve dinners across the country where we 222 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:05,920 Speaker 1: gathered twenty or thirty women of color each, all senior women, 223 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,760 Speaker 1: because I was looking for at a senior level, where 224 00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: does one go we would get in these rooms? I 225 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,960 Speaker 1: thought for one or two hours, six or seven hours later, 226 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,840 Speaker 1: we were still in the rooms talking about the microaggressions, 227 00:15:15,840 --> 00:15:18,600 Speaker 1: the racism, the being a first what it's like to 228 00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,880 Speaker 1: the extra work. I call it the job and the job, 229 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,400 Speaker 1: all of these topics, and none of these women had 230 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,840 Speaker 1: talked about it before because we all were navigating on 231 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: our own. So I knew right then it was special. 232 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,560 Speaker 1: I knew right then that there was something to be 233 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 1: talked about. It was freeing to me, it was freeing 234 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 1: to them, And so that became the basis for the 235 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,280 Speaker 1: book and also for the company that we started that's 236 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: also about safe space for women of color. Deep But 237 00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:43,960 Speaker 1: that's amazing, And I want to go back to a 238 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:50,000 Speaker 1: point that you made about getting sick and feeling this burnout, 239 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:56,080 Speaker 1: you know, in coming from your Indian family who basically said, 240 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,160 Speaker 1: you know, just work hard, right, just work hard, put 241 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,400 Speaker 1: your head down, and get the job done. They must 242 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,760 Speaker 1: have been very excited about the fact that you were 243 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:08,960 Speaker 1: so young, right, and being promoted in this major, you know, 244 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:15,040 Speaker 1: corporation that is very well known. But did you how 245 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:19,680 Speaker 1: did you experience your burnout? Were you feeling like you 246 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,520 Speaker 1: weren't up to the task because your parents had said 247 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,480 Speaker 1: just work hard, and you were working hard. How did 248 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:31,040 Speaker 1: you experience your burnout? Yeah, it was I think that 249 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,920 Speaker 1: was some of it. Where there was always a high 250 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 1: lesson or a big lesson in my family of just 251 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: work harder and do more, and performance and productivity were 252 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,760 Speaker 1: super important, which is I think now I understand better 253 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 1: as a lot of white supremacy, indoctrination, do more and 254 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: all of that. But it's very immigrant, you know, very 255 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,240 Speaker 1: strong and immigrant families. And I did talk to a 256 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,640 Speaker 1: lot of different groups just to share with you. What 257 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,280 Speaker 1: was interesting is some of the black women had a 258 00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 1: different perspective, a small segment, but with everyone else there 259 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: was a common thread of just work harder and it'll 260 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:02,160 Speaker 1: be okay, I'm peanut buttering a little bit of you know, 261 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,000 Speaker 1: the conversations over five hundred, but there were some patterns 262 00:17:05,040 --> 00:17:07,920 Speaker 1: amongst types of women and where they came from, how 263 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 1: many you know, how many decades they were here if 264 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 1: they were immigrants, So there is some there is some grouping. 265 00:17:13,160 --> 00:17:15,199 Speaker 1: But yes, I do think that was it. I also, 266 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: you know, I was rewarded for sacrificing my health. I mean, 267 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:21,120 Speaker 1: I am now at a point in my life where 268 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,080 Speaker 1: I can tell you I know that success has to 269 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,479 Speaker 1: come with health. Like I don't think those two ideas 270 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,840 Speaker 1: are different. But when I was in corporate America and 271 00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,119 Speaker 1: I think it's true for a lot of workplaces. I 272 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,439 Speaker 1: got more money, I got raises, I got promotions as 273 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 1: a result of sacrificing my personal life and probably sacrificing 274 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,280 Speaker 1: my health. And so it's a big question for me. 275 00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:42,359 Speaker 1: I mean, ultimately, for me, it became unquestionable. So I 276 00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,240 Speaker 1: was at my fifteenth doctor. I had, you know, all 277 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 1: kinds of growing symptoms over two or three years. I 278 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: just sold the biggest project of my career, had just 279 00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,080 Speaker 1: gotten married, I tell the story in the book, And 280 00:17:52,119 --> 00:17:53,800 Speaker 1: all of these things were coming to a head, and 281 00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:57,119 Speaker 1: I was getting progressively and progressively sicker and sicker. And 282 00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,200 Speaker 1: so I'm sitting in the doctor's office and she's looking 283 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,280 Speaker 1: at me, and she has run hundreds of tests, and 284 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,119 Speaker 1: she's agreeing there's something wrong with me. But we can't 285 00:18:03,119 --> 00:18:06,280 Speaker 1: find the smoking gun, as I call it. And she said, 286 00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,800 Speaker 1: we can run more tests, or I can just tell 287 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,960 Speaker 1: you what you already know. Your job is killing you. 288 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 1: And the stress, the travel. So if you remember, my 289 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: job was living out of a suitcase. I did three 290 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,520 Speaker 1: cities a week sometimes, so I even my own bed. 291 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:21,919 Speaker 1: I didn't eat well, right. I was very much performance oriented, 292 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,879 Speaker 1: And so she asked me three life changing questions, and 293 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,000 Speaker 1: I write about this. She said, what would you do 294 00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 1: if you didn't do a big job like this? Do 295 00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,919 Speaker 1: you feel number two? Do you feel like you have 296 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,239 Speaker 1: to do a big job like this to feel you know, 297 00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:37,560 Speaker 1: to feel powerful? And three don't you see value in 298 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 1: just being you? And I just felt seen through. I 299 00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:44,560 Speaker 1: literally like a moment of reckoning. And so I left 300 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,040 Speaker 1: that doctor and really had to ask myself some hard questions. 301 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,080 Speaker 1: I ended up, you know, my fifteenth doctor with a 302 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,320 Speaker 1: sixteenth doctor with a with a line, a late stage 303 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:56,040 Speaker 1: line diagnosis that had probably been triggered during the stress. 304 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: And the symptoms were pretty strong, pretty severe. I had 305 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:00,840 Speaker 1: i'd pins and needles, it up on bed rest for 306 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 1: almost eight months, so it was a pretty severe case. 307 00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:05,640 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I had a deep pushing through that. Yeah, 308 00:19:05,680 --> 00:19:07,720 Speaker 1: And I will share one last thing and then it 309 00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:10,359 Speaker 1: happy to answer more questions. But what's interesting is the 310 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,960 Speaker 1: number one, hands down, most glaring thing from these five 311 00:19:14,080 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 1: hundred women that I interviewed is that almost all of them, 312 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:19,560 Speaker 1: so two and three women I interviewed was sick similar 313 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 1: to me. So some sort of undiagnosable illness, so not 314 00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:26,119 Speaker 1: like cancer or some sort of clear, you know, you 315 00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,760 Speaker 1: can see a doctor and hopefully get a treatment sort 316 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,760 Speaker 1: of illness, but more skin rashes, stomach pains, heart palpitations, 317 00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:36,919 Speaker 1: fertility issues, you know, rashes, all kinds of these what 318 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,399 Speaker 1: we call mysterious illnesses or disorders that I've now spoken 319 00:19:40,440 --> 00:19:43,040 Speaker 1: to enough doctors. I think it's trauma and stress related. 320 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 1: And we've never really had conversation in space for that. 321 00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:48,760 Speaker 1: What happens when you're not seen and heard in structures, right, 322 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,640 Speaker 1: and what happens when you constantly edit yourself and let 323 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 1: go of parts of yourself. Well, this is what happens. 324 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: I believe it shows up in your body if you 325 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: don't listen. And I'm a great example of what happened. 326 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:01,800 Speaker 1: You know. It's so interesting because also, you know, what 327 00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:06,520 Speaker 1: we know to be true about Western medicine in particular, 328 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 1: is that we don't really interrogate the differences between men 329 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:15,720 Speaker 1: and women. We don't interrogate the differences between people of color. 330 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 1: I remember going into a doctor, and I've told this 331 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,280 Speaker 1: story on WOKE a f before, where I'd gone in 332 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,680 Speaker 1: for a regular physical many moons ago. I was when 333 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:28,399 Speaker 1: I was living in Washington, DC, gone in for a 334 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,720 Speaker 1: regular physical comes back, my white blood cell count is low, 335 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 1: and my general practitioner was was alarmed by the numbers 336 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:41,120 Speaker 1: while I head into hematologists to come and find out that, yes, 337 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,600 Speaker 1: your white blood cell count is low. But if we're 338 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 1: comparing you to white Europeans, to white Europeans, then yes 339 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:51,159 Speaker 1: it seems low. If I'm comparing you to other black people, 340 00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,960 Speaker 1: yes it is normal. And so here's what you need 341 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,040 Speaker 1: to understand about how you are being measured, right, And 342 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:01,520 Speaker 1: he and he, you know, a great doctor, and he 343 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,479 Speaker 1: was just like, I'm going to monitor you for the 344 00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:06,280 Speaker 1: next three months just to make sure that you know, 345 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,720 Speaker 1: all is actually well. But I just want to start 346 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 1: off this conversation with saying, just how we are measuring 347 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 1: you is not even right, you know. So then for women, 348 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 1: particularly women of color, to go into the medical industrial 349 00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 1: complex where we are our voices are ignored, right, um 350 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:32,040 Speaker 1: our feelings and our physical feelings are are oftentimes ignored. 351 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,880 Speaker 1: How do you how did you even get I mean, 352 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,879 Speaker 1: I guess you know, was it that you had another 353 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:41,679 Speaker 1: woman doctor or like, how how were you able? And 354 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:46,040 Speaker 1: it took fifteen, right, it took fifteen to get super clear? 355 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: Why story is not dissimilar than and it's I think 356 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,600 Speaker 1: most acute as you're saying for black women that that's 357 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,200 Speaker 1: also true in the health in the health space, right. Um, 358 00:21:54,240 --> 00:21:56,560 Speaker 1: I was told so many times you turn forty, this 359 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,439 Speaker 1: is what happens when you turn forty, and I'm like, 360 00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,560 Speaker 1: this is not forty. I have mono. I have you know? 361 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:04,560 Speaker 1: I had shingles. I'd all literally everything. Every two weeks. 362 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:06,840 Speaker 1: I was in some sort of you know, spin on 363 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:09,760 Speaker 1: being sick. I don't I knew it wasn't normal. So 364 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 1: many white male doctors told me it was just forty, 365 00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,399 Speaker 1: and I just wouldn't take that for an answer. I 366 00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 1: honestly felt like I was unplugged, is what I'd call it, 367 00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,080 Speaker 1: or dying, like my battery was not recharging. I got lucky, 368 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,000 Speaker 1: so I left that doctor's office that I mentioned to 369 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 1: you where she asked me those three questions, and I 370 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,639 Speaker 1: went back to my hotel room and I started crying, 371 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,159 Speaker 1: and I called a senior manager on my project. That 372 00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: senior manager happened to have a dad who was a rheumatologist, 373 00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:35,600 Speaker 1: and she said, my dad is like doctor House, I 374 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,880 Speaker 1: believe you have lyme disease. I'm just telling you from 375 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:39,879 Speaker 1: all the things he talks about he's got like a 376 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 1: six month waiting list, but I'm going to make a call. 377 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,560 Speaker 1: I want you to go see him. Just please go 378 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,280 Speaker 1: see him. I'm pretty sure this is what it is. 379 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,520 Speaker 1: And she made the call and he's the one that 380 00:22:47,560 --> 00:22:49,680 Speaker 1: diagnosed it and got me on a path to wellness. 381 00:22:49,760 --> 00:22:53,439 Speaker 1: So it was I believe in interventions like the universe intervening, 382 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,680 Speaker 1: and so yeah, I listened. Yeah, I was desperate. I 383 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,000 Speaker 1: was desperate enough to she had offered once or twice before, 384 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,159 Speaker 1: and I was like, it's you know, I want to 385 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,479 Speaker 1: see another doctor. I'm sure it's not that. He sounded 386 00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 1: a little bit scary to me. And at that point 387 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:07,080 Speaker 1: I just said I'll take whatever help the universe is 388 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,679 Speaker 1: bringing me because I can't. I can't solve this anymore. 389 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:12,359 Speaker 1: I honestly couldn't keep going. I had just had been 390 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,359 Speaker 1: maybe two years married at that point, and I remember 391 00:23:14,359 --> 00:23:16,480 Speaker 1: saying to my husband, I'm sorry that we got married, 392 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:18,239 Speaker 1: Like this is not the life you signed up for. 393 00:23:18,520 --> 00:23:20,199 Speaker 1: I had no energy. I would just sit on the 394 00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:22,439 Speaker 1: couch when I got home on the weekends and sleep 395 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 1: for like fourteen hours a day because I was trying 396 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,040 Speaker 1: to catch up on my sleep. So it was a 397 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 1: really severe situation. But I think a lot of us 398 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 1: ignore how we're feeling. And I think had I maybe 399 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:35,199 Speaker 1: had more tools earlier, I would have insisted, you know, 400 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,680 Speaker 1: as a symptom started mounting like that, none of this 401 00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,080 Speaker 1: is normal, let's talk about it. Let's understand that, you know, 402 00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,000 Speaker 1: and it's it's very true. And I think, you know, 403 00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 1: one of the things that you know, I believe that 404 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:51,679 Speaker 1: the pandemic has illuminated is a conversation about how we 405 00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:55,560 Speaker 1: work and rest. And what we saw right in twenty 406 00:23:55,640 --> 00:23:59,159 Speaker 1: twenty were over two million women being forced out of 407 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 1: the workforce because they are now homeschooling. Right they were 408 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,280 Speaker 1: now homeschooling young children and trying also to hold on 409 00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:09,199 Speaker 1: to a job. And so we got to see, you know, 410 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,280 Speaker 1: the reality, the lived reality and experience of what it's 411 00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:16,240 Speaker 1: like to be a work a working mother and how 412 00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:21,080 Speaker 1: by virtue of not creating space and not really understanding 413 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:26,040 Speaker 1: or caring about how your employees are actually working, these 414 00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 1: women had to leave the workforce. In these dinners that 415 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,680 Speaker 1: you that you began that would turn into your book, 416 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:39,440 Speaker 1: what were some of the common themes that came out 417 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,400 Speaker 1: that allowed you to see oh, this is a bigger problem. 418 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 1: Like if I'm feeling this way, I know that other 419 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: people must be feeling this way. But now you're going 420 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:50,479 Speaker 1: through these series of dinners, what are some of the 421 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: things that were illuminated for you? I think for me, 422 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: and this is true for a lot of us. So again, 423 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 1: these women were high performing right like VP level and 424 00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:02,480 Speaker 1: above women. I think most of us had been navigating 425 00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 1: on our own. We were so busy, so heads down 426 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 1: getting to the seat, and then once we were in 427 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: the seat right, just trying to make a go of it, 428 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,440 Speaker 1: that so many of us were alienated and just alone 429 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 1: in our spaces. We were literally the first few of 430 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,160 Speaker 1: the only the name of the title of the book, 431 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 1: like the only woman of color right in a department, 432 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,400 Speaker 1: definitely the only one in the C suite. So there's 433 00:25:21,400 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 1: just a sense of alienation, this sense of conforming, giving 434 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,240 Speaker 1: up so many parts of yourself just to fit into 435 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,119 Speaker 1: these spaces. There was a sense these women had shared 436 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,760 Speaker 1: that they would once they got to the seat, they 437 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:32,439 Speaker 1: thought they would do it their way. They would get 438 00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:34,199 Speaker 1: to the seat, and there was even more pressure to 439 00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:37,359 Speaker 1: behave and perform like right and to tow the line 440 00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,840 Speaker 1: at that senior level. So that was surprising. That was 441 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,480 Speaker 1: probably the most surprising in those dinners, like how much 442 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,240 Speaker 1: they had had sacrificed, right and how powerless they felt, 443 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:48,560 Speaker 1: Like these are some of the most powerful women in 444 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,919 Speaker 1: America and they were feeling powerless. I think that was 445 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,320 Speaker 1: surprising to me. I think the other thing, and you 446 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:56,320 Speaker 1: brought it up with the healthcare example, I think most 447 00:25:56,359 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 1: of us have been taught to believe and again I 448 00:25:58,400 --> 00:25:59,840 Speaker 1: do think this is a little bit different based on 449 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 1: who you are and how you've grown up and wear. 450 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:04,120 Speaker 1: But I think most of us were taught to believe 451 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 1: that corporate America is a meritocracy, that if you show 452 00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:09,879 Speaker 1: up like you know, you work hard, it'll be okay. 453 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:12,080 Speaker 1: And I think what you're saying with your healthcare example, 454 00:26:12,119 --> 00:26:14,439 Speaker 1: and what I'm saying with corporate America very loud and 455 00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:17,439 Speaker 1: proud now, is corporate America is not a meritocracy. The 456 00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: healthcare system is not a meritocracy. It shows up differently 457 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 1: for different groups, and we need to talk about that 458 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:24,880 Speaker 1: if we're going to change it. Right. So I think 459 00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:27,200 Speaker 1: there was like a cracking open of this is not 460 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 1: just me, this is happening to twenty other women in 461 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:34,560 Speaker 1: you know, in twelve cities. There is something different here? 462 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,639 Speaker 1: And why why were we like? Why was that the 463 00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,479 Speaker 1: first time we could talk about it? You could just 464 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,959 Speaker 1: see shoulders dropping in the room, right, You could just 465 00:26:41,040 --> 00:26:43,199 Speaker 1: see all the things we had been taught, like we 466 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,120 Speaker 1: had taught been taught leadership doesn't look like us, and 467 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,359 Speaker 1: here we were being leaders and there's such imposter syndrome, 468 00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,200 Speaker 1: such confusion that comes with that. So I think, honestly, 469 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,439 Speaker 1: it was just a real awakening that it wasn't me 470 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,000 Speaker 1: like up till that point. I think part of why 471 00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 1: I got sick was I was thinking this is all me, Like, 472 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 1: what else do I need to do? What do I 473 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,160 Speaker 1: need to try? Differently? Why am I getting sick? Why 474 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: can't I hack it? Well, no, I can't hack it 475 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:09,200 Speaker 1: because it's too much, right, And I had gone way 476 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 1: past my bounds and I didn't know it. And seeing 477 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,560 Speaker 1: the other women and seeing what they had gone through, 478 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,600 Speaker 1: I think allowed me to realize it's not me, you know. 479 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: But we also, again, we value busy in in this country, right, 480 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:27,200 Speaker 1: We value saying, oh how is your day? Oh my god, 481 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:31,119 Speaker 1: my calendar is overloaded, and you know, I haven't had 482 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,679 Speaker 1: a moment to have lunch, and that is, like to 483 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,679 Speaker 1: your earlier point, that is something that is celebrated, that 484 00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,399 Speaker 1: is rewarded. How much of yourself can you squeeze out? 485 00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:44,560 Speaker 1: How much can I extract? Right? And what little can 486 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 1: you survive and exist on right with what is essentially 487 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,600 Speaker 1: with what is left? And I think that oftentimes too. 488 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 1: You know, how do you feel like we are having 489 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,360 Speaker 1: conversations about burnout? You know there's a lot of books 490 00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:00,960 Speaker 1: and things like that about burnout, but what do you 491 00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:04,080 Speaker 1: think that they are missing, particularly as it pertains to 492 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 1: women of color. Yeah, I think the big conversation and 493 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:10,040 Speaker 1: this is probably not going to be a grand away 494 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: thing to your audience, right, but I think it isn't 495 00:28:11,800 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: a lot of other circles is. I think what's happening 496 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:16,879 Speaker 1: is a lot of us are finally having the conversation 497 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,639 Speaker 1: about race at work in a different way. Again. Up 498 00:28:18,680 --> 00:28:21,000 Speaker 1: till now, most of us have been taught, especially in corporates, 499 00:28:21,119 --> 00:28:23,159 Speaker 1: right that don't talk about it. You don't talk about it, 500 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,000 Speaker 1: and it's a neutral you know, you come in and 501 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,120 Speaker 1: it's all going to be okay, right, Like that doesn't happen, 502 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,480 Speaker 1: and if it happens, it's happening once or twice. It's 503 00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,119 Speaker 1: not happening everywhere right there. There's maybe a little bit 504 00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,960 Speaker 1: of acceptance that happens in small pockets, but not universally. 505 00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:37,199 Speaker 1: I think the fact that we're talking about it and 506 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,760 Speaker 1: that we're allowing ourselves to know what happened to us. 507 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,360 Speaker 1: I interviewed a lot of psychologists, and what they're saying 508 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 1: is when you allow yourself to feel the racism, when 509 00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,520 Speaker 1: you allow yourself to acknowledge the racism, you start to 510 00:28:47,560 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: feel it in your body. And that's what's happening to 511 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,280 Speaker 1: a lot of us. So until we process it, until 512 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 1: we let it go, until we do some matic healing 513 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,400 Speaker 1: or all the other things that these doctors talked about, 514 00:28:56,560 --> 00:28:58,000 Speaker 1: you're going to hold it in your body. And I 515 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:01,200 Speaker 1: think that's what's also happening is these last couple of years, 516 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,440 Speaker 1: there's a difference from denial to acknowledgement. An acknowledgement is 517 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:07,800 Speaker 1: almost harder until you process it, because now we're willing 518 00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: to say, yes, it's actually unfair, Yes it's actually racist, 519 00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:13,920 Speaker 1: Yes it's actually all the things we were told to ignore, 520 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,800 Speaker 1: we're actually true. And that is hard. So I think 521 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: we're just in a different part of the acknowledgement process 522 00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,560 Speaker 1: to be honest. You know, it's so interesting. My mother 523 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 1: is a yogi and owns a yoga studio on Long 524 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:30,719 Speaker 1: Island in New York. And one of the things that 525 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,360 Speaker 1: she has always told me, particularly about my work as 526 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 1: it's centered around politics and justice, right, is that I 527 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,040 Speaker 1: need to be very mindful about how I take on 528 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,160 Speaker 1: these issues because I take them on on a cellular level. Yes, 529 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 1: And she would say, She's like, you are taking this 530 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:52,320 Speaker 1: on on a cellular level, and it is going to 531 00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:56,080 Speaker 1: attack you a like a virus, right, It is going 532 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,640 Speaker 1: to nap into your system, and this is what is 533 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:00,520 Speaker 1: going to drain you. And if you're going to do 534 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: this work, you need to put what are the what 535 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:06,239 Speaker 1: are the mechanisms that you were putting in place in 536 00:30:06,360 --> 00:30:09,239 Speaker 1: order to keep yourself well, in order to almost you know, 537 00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: be present, but be able to disconnect. So what are 538 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,080 Speaker 1: some of the things that you have learned deepa and 539 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,720 Speaker 1: and that you offer to women that are on this 540 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,160 Speaker 1: ladder or in this jungle gym trying to you know, 541 00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 1: make it to the next level and make it to 542 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,520 Speaker 1: the next space, and doing so by but keeping their 543 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:33,360 Speaker 1: entirety of their self intact. Yeah, I think. I think 544 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 1: the big shift that I've made is almost some of 545 00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:37,920 Speaker 1: what your mom is suggesting to you, like I think 546 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,920 Speaker 1: getting sick. So, first of all, I do think getting 547 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:42,160 Speaker 1: lime disease for me was a gift because it made 548 00:30:42,160 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: me slow down, It made me really look at my 549 00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,680 Speaker 1: life differently and made me ask different questions. It's almost 550 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 1: been a guide to reinvent my life. I also met 551 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 1: a lot of spiritual practitioners because lime disease is so 552 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,280 Speaker 1: I'm misunderstood and there's not a lot of like, take 553 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 1: this medicine, it gets fixed. So I've just I've sought 554 00:30:58,280 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 1: out very alternative healers and a lot of things I 555 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:02,800 Speaker 1: would have never done before. So it's been in that way, 556 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,080 Speaker 1: very awakening. What I have found is that most of 557 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:08,600 Speaker 1: us come to an understanding that the system doesn't work 558 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: for us when we encounter a big life situation. Right, 559 00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:13,760 Speaker 1: so you know, something happens to us personally or we 560 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:16,040 Speaker 1: bounce against the system not working, and then it makes 561 00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 1: us really question who we are. That's a moment where 562 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 1: you can do a lot of work, whether it's journaling, writing, 563 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 1: walking in nature, getting quiet with yourself. But the way 564 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:25,440 Speaker 1: I talk about it in the book, is you need 565 00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: to do the power. You need to find the power 566 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:28,920 Speaker 1: of me and then the power of Wei. So you 567 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 1: need to kind of figure out for yourself. We've taken 568 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,400 Speaker 1: in a lot of messages that don't work for us 569 00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:35,640 Speaker 1: as black and brown women. Right, We're not powerful, We're 570 00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:38,240 Speaker 1: not this, We're not that. I think, you know, even 571 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 1: if we are trying to be conscious of it. We 572 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,440 Speaker 1: have to go through a process or we let go 573 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,080 Speaker 1: of the stuff that doesn't work for us. I call 574 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 1: that shedding shed messages that don't work for you, and 575 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,920 Speaker 1: it is active reprogramming, you know. Raw. My business partner 576 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:50,880 Speaker 1: calls that you have to know almost take out the 577 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: indoctrination that is there and part of everything we do 578 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:55,640 Speaker 1: and let that go. Once you do that, the second 579 00:31:55,640 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 1: part of it is you have to find we, like 580 00:31:57,360 --> 00:31:59,600 Speaker 1: so the power of Wei. So I think those dinners 581 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:01,920 Speaker 1: were the hour of we because it is hard to 582 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,720 Speaker 1: change structures, it's hard to do the work that you 583 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 1: do if you don't have community. You can't do it 584 00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 1: by yourself because it's soul depleting, right, and so it 585 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,600 Speaker 1: is really figuring out. I think what I tell women 586 00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,160 Speaker 1: is you have to figure out for yourself, what do 587 00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 1: you believe, what do you want your life to be, 588 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:17,240 Speaker 1: what is important to you? What are your boundaries? Because 589 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,200 Speaker 1: corporate America asks you to conform on a daily basis, 590 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,280 Speaker 1: So what are you not willing to give up? Draw 591 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,640 Speaker 1: your boundaries? That's the me work. And then find your 592 00:32:24,640 --> 00:32:26,600 Speaker 1: sisters because this is going to be hard, and when 593 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,400 Speaker 1: the things happen, you need each other on group chat 594 00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,160 Speaker 1: or speed dial or whatever it is. Because we tend 595 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 1: to hold on those negative comments, all that negative four 596 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 1: times as long as the positive. That's what the research 597 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,120 Speaker 1: and the science shows us. So we need ways that 598 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:40,680 Speaker 1: we can let that go. And so I think those 599 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:43,040 Speaker 1: are the first steps. I mean, there's a lot. It's 600 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 1: a big question to answer in two or three. But 601 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:47,640 Speaker 1: for me, it was really finding a lot of alternative healing. 602 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,120 Speaker 1: It was writing, It was taking the eight months off. 603 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 1: It was realizing my identity was not my work and 604 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 1: then I'm a human outside of what I do. Which 605 00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:58,040 Speaker 1: our big things to let go of when you've sacrificed 606 00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,120 Speaker 1: so much to rise in structures like that rewarded I was. 607 00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,000 Speaker 1: I was known by my first name in a hundred 608 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,960 Speaker 1: thousand personal organization like there's a lot of you know, 609 00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 1: I don't want to call it celebrity, but almost like 610 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 1: cachet or identity that comes with that. And I had 611 00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:12,280 Speaker 1: to realize that that was not my life and I 612 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,760 Speaker 1: could let it go and still be me, but I 613 00:33:14,800 --> 00:33:16,880 Speaker 1: had to figure out who he was for for a minute. 614 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:23,000 Speaker 1: You know, right now, all eyes are going to be 615 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:29,920 Speaker 1: on the Supreme Court nominee yes, uh uh Katangi Brown 616 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:34,080 Speaker 1: Jackson is going to, you know, god willing be the 617 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: first black woman to be on the Supreme Court. They 618 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: are already attacks which we knew were coming about her 619 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:45,719 Speaker 1: qualifications and whether or not she's going to be up 620 00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,480 Speaker 1: to the task because this, you know, the assumption is 621 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,960 Speaker 1: by virtue of being a black woman, apparently you're not. Um. 622 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:55,600 Speaker 1: You know what? What what are some of the things 623 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:59,920 Speaker 1: that you think, you know will carry into this space 624 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: that we will actually see by virtue of watching her 625 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:08,360 Speaker 1: confirmation that you know you have understood and the research 626 00:34:08,440 --> 00:34:10,960 Speaker 1: that you all have done in the reports that have 627 00:34:11,120 --> 00:34:14,120 Speaker 1: come up. What do you see as some parallels that 628 00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:17,759 Speaker 1: we may see play out in mainstream media. Yeah, I 629 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,960 Speaker 1: love that question only because I've actually really thought about 630 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:23,280 Speaker 1: it a lot. I think that there's a story throughout 631 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:26,280 Speaker 1: the book, right that these trailblazers, who I call trailing, 632 00:34:26,360 --> 00:34:28,279 Speaker 1: we don't talk about the shadow side of trailblazing. We 633 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:30,359 Speaker 1: don't talk about all the struggle, all the strife, all 634 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,920 Speaker 1: the extra all the questions that it brings. Right. I 635 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,759 Speaker 1: tell a story where I opened in the book of 636 00:34:35,080 --> 00:34:37,320 Speaker 1: how I made Partner, and one of my best friends 637 00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:39,520 Speaker 1: asked me, you know, or made a comment that I 638 00:34:39,520 --> 00:34:41,080 Speaker 1: was a two fur that I checked two boxes and 639 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:43,360 Speaker 1: that's why I was promoted quickly, and it was devastating. 640 00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 1: There's like a lot of that that comes with the role. 641 00:34:45,680 --> 00:34:47,840 Speaker 1: I think what's different and I'm what I'm hopeful with 642 00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: a new justice being confirmed is that she sets a 643 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:56,000 Speaker 1: new example because she is not you know, her job 644 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 1: can't and I say this, and I believe this to 645 00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,960 Speaker 1: be true, me even correct me. She can't be take 646 00:35:00,200 --> 00:35:02,200 Speaker 1: out of that job, right, so she can be in 647 00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:04,719 Speaker 1: full voice, she can do her like. Part of what 648 00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:06,560 Speaker 1: I'm saying is I think most of us are not 649 00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,440 Speaker 1: able to do ourselves fully in these structures, and so 650 00:35:10,560 --> 00:35:13,359 Speaker 1: I mean even even Vice President Harris, I don't think 651 00:35:13,400 --> 00:35:15,359 Speaker 1: it's fully able to do her because she's you know, 652 00:35:15,520 --> 00:35:17,759 Speaker 1: up for the next role, and so I think it'll 653 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,799 Speaker 1: be one of the few examples where she is not 654 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:23,440 Speaker 1: worried about how she comes across. She can completely show up, 655 00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,600 Speaker 1: you know, god willing and how she wants to show up, 656 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,160 Speaker 1: and I think that is going to be game changing 657 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,560 Speaker 1: for all the rest of us. It gives me chills 658 00:35:29,640 --> 00:35:31,920 Speaker 1: just to talk about it, because I think she can 659 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 1: literally be in full voice, and I unfortunately think we 660 00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:37,799 Speaker 1: have very few examples of women of color who sit 661 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,360 Speaker 1: in the seat in full voice, because there's such backlash 662 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 1: or ramifications and retribution when we when we do. And 663 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,120 Speaker 1: so I think that's what's different and what's special and 664 00:35:46,360 --> 00:35:49,839 Speaker 1: what I'm hopeful about. But I also you know, I've 665 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: had this conversation. I was just having it with a 666 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:55,120 Speaker 1: journalist who was asking me this question, how do we 667 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 1: make sure that she's not tokenized? How do we make 668 00:35:57,560 --> 00:35:59,680 Speaker 1: sure that she is able to be her full self 669 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,799 Speaker 1: and that gets the full support, And that's where I 670 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 1: think we as a community also have to support her 671 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 1: right and encourage her, and she is going to have 672 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,759 Speaker 1: a lot of rocks thrown at her, and I think 673 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,319 Speaker 1: we just have to be there in whatever ways we can, 674 00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:13,440 Speaker 1: even if it's from Afar, just giving her as much 675 00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:16,200 Speaker 1: support as possible, because I think those are real questions 676 00:36:16,200 --> 00:36:17,960 Speaker 1: that I don't think, you know, a white male justice 677 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:19,640 Speaker 1: would have to go through right now, right in the 678 00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:22,640 Speaker 1: same sorts of ways. It's a completely different experience that 679 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:24,839 Speaker 1: I don't think people appreciate and it takes its toll. 680 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,440 Speaker 1: So I hope she has her circle of sisters right 681 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,759 Speaker 1: that she can call a FI woman. I pray that 682 00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:35,799 Speaker 1: she does. Last question for you, is that coming out 683 00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:39,720 Speaker 1: of this experience, not only did you write The First, 684 00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,880 Speaker 1: the Few, and the Only, but you also started a 685 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:47,239 Speaker 1: company Information around it. Can you tell us a little 686 00:36:47,280 --> 00:36:49,800 Speaker 1: bit about that? And for folks who are interested in 687 00:36:50,200 --> 00:36:53,919 Speaker 1: learning more, absolutely so. Information is a community. It's a safe, brave, 688 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,319 Speaker 1: and new space for professional women of color. And we 689 00:36:56,400 --> 00:36:57,920 Speaker 1: do a lot of what we did in the Dinners, 690 00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:00,000 Speaker 1: but we do it virtually at least at this point 691 00:37:00,040 --> 00:37:02,480 Speaker 1: and online, and so we hold safe space. We have 692 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 1: conversations around advancement. We talk about what it's like to 693 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,120 Speaker 1: feel like a token, I mean all the things. We 694 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 1: had an amazing conversation a few months ago about what 695 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:10,960 Speaker 1: it meant to be a woman of color because some 696 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:14,160 Speaker 1: of my Latin sisters raised that they don't necessarily the 697 00:37:14,239 --> 00:37:16,520 Speaker 1: term women of color, you know, felt uncomfortable to them, 698 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,640 Speaker 1: you know, because they're white passing. And so we as 699 00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,480 Speaker 1: a group of two hundred women of color, had a 700 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,600 Speaker 1: conversation about what does it mean, what are we, what 701 00:37:22,680 --> 00:37:25,360 Speaker 1: are our shared experiences, and what's different. I don't know 702 00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:28,120 Speaker 1: other spaces where we have conversations like that, So I 703 00:37:28,160 --> 00:37:31,680 Speaker 1: think it's really powerful for us to find our voice, 704 00:37:31,760 --> 00:37:34,719 Speaker 1: find what our commonalities are, find what our challenges are. 705 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:37,560 Speaker 1: We also found that twenty five percent of our women, 706 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,080 Speaker 1: just a quarter into our existence, we're pretty new where 707 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,680 Speaker 1: you're in a few months old, a quarter in twenty 708 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:46,200 Speaker 1: five percent of our women ask for bigger jobs, more pay, 709 00:37:46,320 --> 00:37:47,920 Speaker 1: or left the roles they were in. They said as 710 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,399 Speaker 1: a result of just being in community, because they said, 711 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:53,400 Speaker 1: other women right asking for more. So it's not anything 712 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,880 Speaker 1: magical that Raw and I are teaching. But once you 713 00:37:55,920 --> 00:37:57,480 Speaker 1: see me ask for more, you're like, I'm going to 714 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,160 Speaker 1: ask for more, and then the next person's going to 715 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,880 Speaker 1: ask for more. So I think we're being each other's 716 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:06,640 Speaker 1: um guides on what our boundaries are and what our 717 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,200 Speaker 1: worth is, and what it's like to leave spaces that 718 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 1: don't don't want to see us and don't want to 719 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,560 Speaker 1: make space for us. I think that's different. I also 720 00:38:13,600 --> 00:38:16,360 Speaker 1: think as women of color, we have such amazing lived experiences, 721 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:20,120 Speaker 1: right that that don't get valued in the workplace, right, 722 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:22,320 Speaker 1: those of lived experiences get downplayed. We look at P 723 00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,560 Speaker 1: and L, we looked at with global experience, and we 724 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,760 Speaker 1: look at this like checklist of things that are important. 725 00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,040 Speaker 1: And as women of color, we have such lived experiences. 726 00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,279 Speaker 1: So we're coming together and talking about those things. So 727 00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:33,560 Speaker 1: that's what the community is about. You know, how we 728 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:36,440 Speaker 1: have power, how we're special, how you know in twenty fifty, 729 00:38:36,440 --> 00:38:38,759 Speaker 1: when when the world continues to be diverse, like I 730 00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 1: actually think we have, I call to them superpowers in 731 00:38:41,640 --> 00:38:43,279 Speaker 1: ways that we can lead that. I think that I 732 00:38:43,320 --> 00:38:47,080 Speaker 1: think corporate and other industries absolutely need, other sectors need 733 00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:49,160 Speaker 1: UM and so I feel like we're the voice of 734 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,600 Speaker 1: the future in that sort of way. UM. Yes, we're 735 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:53,839 Speaker 1: always looking for members, We're always looking for new people. 736 00:38:53,880 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 1: So you can find all that information on my website, 737 00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,439 Speaker 1: so Deepa Peru pureu dot com and there's information about 738 00:39:00,480 --> 00:39:03,440 Speaker 1: the book, but also information about information the company and 739 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:05,920 Speaker 1: how you sign up and our next big initiative that 740 00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:08,719 Speaker 1: we are just in the process of announcing. I'll just 741 00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:10,719 Speaker 1: kind of sick flag it here is we're about to 742 00:39:10,719 --> 00:39:12,960 Speaker 1: place one hundred women of color on boards and so 743 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,000 Speaker 1: that's our next initiative, but not just place in men 744 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:17,960 Speaker 1: traditional sort of way. We actually want to change the 745 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,120 Speaker 1: criteria that we use to place women of color. So 746 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:22,840 Speaker 1: we're doing that with Richard Branson's B team and so 747 00:39:22,880 --> 00:39:24,520 Speaker 1: that'll be a big announcement that comes out in the 748 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:28,520 Speaker 1: next few weeks. Well, I can't tell you it has 749 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,000 Speaker 1: been a pleasure. I'm so happy that we were able 750 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:35,080 Speaker 1: to make this happen. Folks. The name of the book 751 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,200 Speaker 1: is the first, the few, the only, how women of 752 00:39:38,239 --> 00:39:42,600 Speaker 1: color can redefine power in corporate America. DEEPA. Thank you 753 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,919 Speaker 1: so much for making the time to join Woke AP 754 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 1: and we hope to have you back again. Thank you 755 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 1: so much for having me and having these conversations. That 756 00:39:55,800 --> 00:39:58,960 Speaker 1: is it for me today, Folks on woka app as 757 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:02,920 Speaker 1: always Power to the people and to all the people. Power, 758 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:05,399 Speaker 1: get woke and stay woke as fuck.