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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, and we are

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Speaker 1: the founding hosts of Okay Storytime podcasts.

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Speaker 2: And we have some foundational stories coming up for you.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is this foundation needs a little support

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Speaker 1: from these sponsors. So stick around two minutes and we'll

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Speaker 1: get into the episode. My sister in law was cheating

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Speaker 1: on her partner. I secretly helped him move out. All right,

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Speaker 1: his stuff on the curb.

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Speaker 2: Woo. Now, about five years ago, I moved about fifteen

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Speaker 2: hours away from my hometown for a job. Shortly after moving,

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Speaker 2: I met my now wife Becca. A few years ago,

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Speaker 2: I have a few years ago, I had a buddy Jr.

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Speaker 2: From back home. It comes stay with me. While here.

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Speaker 2: He met my wife's sister, Maggie. So Jr. And Maggie

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Speaker 2: hit it off. They pretty quickly started dating. Maggie has

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Speaker 2: a daughter from a previous relationship. Daughter's dad is very

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Speaker 2: much in the picture. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: Vast Basis twenty two to seventy three, and if you

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Speaker 2: want to submit your own stories, go to the r

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Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime subreddits. So almost a year ago, Maggie

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Speaker 2: and Jr. Moved in together.

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Speaker 1: We got Jr. And Maggie in a relationship. Maggie has

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Speaker 1: a daughter and the daughter has a dad that is

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Speaker 1: not Jr.

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Speaker 2: So at the time sister in law Maggie was living

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Speaker 2: with her parents because she could not afford rent on

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Speaker 2: her own. Things seemed to be going along well. It

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Speaker 2: is a long story, but almost two months ago Jr.

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Speaker 2: Got pretty irrefutable proof that Maggie was cheating on him.

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Speaker 2: Ooh oh no. Of course he was angry, depressed, and

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Speaker 2: overall distraught. He could not deal with confronting her, but

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Speaker 2: he could also not deal with living with her, the

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Speaker 2: classic dilemma. He talked to me and wanted my help

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Speaker 2: to get away, So I reached out to my network

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Speaker 2: of people who are not mutual friends of Becca and

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Speaker 2: I to get him a place to stay. Becca, sister

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Speaker 2: in law, Maggie, and Maggie's daughter, and my mother in

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Speaker 2: law were going out of town to visit a mother

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Speaker 2: in law's mom. A few weeks after he found out,

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Speaker 2: I had a work friend with a rent house. I

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Speaker 2: helped Jr. Our pack is stuff, which is like ninety

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Speaker 2: percent of the apartment, and he moved out. He sent

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Speaker 2: an email to Maggie about why he left and moved out.

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Speaker 2: He left a check for rent utilities through the end

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Speaker 2: of March when their lease is up. Wow, great timing,

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Speaker 2: and informed the landlord that he was not renewing. Maggie

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Speaker 2: got the email and called JR. Numerous times. While on

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Speaker 2: the trip, my wife called me and asked what was

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Speaker 2: going on and where JR was. I told her that

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Speaker 2: JR moved out and he was safe, but I will

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Speaker 2: not tell her where he is. They got back and

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Speaker 2: Maggie flipped out about all of the stuff that JR. Took.

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Speaker 2: My wife was quite angry and demanded to know where

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Speaker 2: JR was. I kept telling her that he is safe,

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Speaker 2: but I am not telling her where he is at

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Speaker 2: the last month has been tense and my wife has

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Speaker 2: begged me and made threats to know where JR.

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Speaker 1: Is.

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Speaker 2: She has even tried using my phone to impersonate me

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Speaker 2: to call JR and get information out of him. I

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Speaker 2: have since changed my pass code. She says, we are married.

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Speaker 2: This is affecting my family. I deserve to out tell

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Speaker 2: me why I need it out, but I refuse. She

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Speaker 2: has even talked about this being divorceible. So am I

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Speaker 2: the a hole? We have edits we have irrelevant comments,

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Speaker 2: we have updates. I'm pretty sure we've got so much

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Speaker 2: more left in the sort of dissect, but we have

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Speaker 2: to answer this question.

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Speaker 1: Is ope the I don't think so. I think he's

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Speaker 1: protecting He's protecting his friend Jr's privacy. I do think

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Speaker 1: JR should have had one final conversation with Maggie just

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Speaker 1: saying hey, this is what I know. But I don't

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Speaker 1: think that's Op's problem to deal with. I think all

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Speaker 1: he's doing is protecting the privacy of his friend. Doesn't

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Speaker 1: sound like JR stole anything that isn't his.

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Speaker 2: You know, maybe that's debatable because like he's they said

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Speaker 2: he took ninety percent of stuff, and and Maggie was

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Speaker 2: freaking out. So I imagine there could be some crossover

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Speaker 2: or something that could have been a conversation. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, which again, like that's why Jay I feel like

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Speaker 1: JR not saying anything yes about like what he's doing,

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Speaker 1: what he's taking, Like, I mean, you can't just if

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Speaker 1: you let's say you co own certain stuff, yep, and

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Speaker 1: you just leave. I mean you're effectively stealing whatever percentage

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Speaker 1: ownership that uh Maggie may have had, like if they

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Speaker 1: bought a couch together. Or whatever.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Maggie cheated on him like that is a very

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Speaker 2: reasonable wants to get out of a relationship again, like

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Speaker 2: we said, just for your just for your own yourself

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Speaker 2: having that communication, as much as it sucks because you

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Speaker 2: you didn't make this mess, but just address the mess,

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Speaker 2: to move on from him without having any more ties,

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Speaker 2: sack it.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I completely agree, not the a hole not. I

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Speaker 1: don't think OP has done one a whole thing here.

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Speaker 1: I think everyone else has done some a holeish behavior

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Speaker 1: like Becka the wife for sure, JR a little bit

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Speaker 1: by not having the conversation, and Maggie foresuore.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but guys, we got an edit, We've got some

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Speaker 2: more more info. Okay, So number one, my wife knows

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Speaker 2: why JR. Left, so she knows about the cheating, which

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Speaker 2: is good. Maggie has admitted to the cheating since since

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Speaker 2: he left. At point number three, my wife denies knowing

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Speaker 2: about the cheating, and I do believe her. Historically, Maggie

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Speaker 2: and Becca are not that close. Prior to Jared moving here,

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Speaker 2: we would see Maggie once every maybe three months ish.

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Speaker 2: Since Jarah moved, we see her a lot more because

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Speaker 2: JR and I regularly organized get togethers, which is why

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Speaker 2: my wife's reaction is so surprising to me. It's like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you weren't even like that close. Why are you unreasonably

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Speaker 2: defending her?

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Speaker 1: I guess all I'm thinking right now is Op's wife

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Speaker 1: seems to have something to lose, which is why she's

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Speaker 1: acting so sus Yes, and I'm wondering what that is.

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Speaker 2: Point number four, The stuff Jr. Took was only his stuff.

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Speaker 2: In fact, a lot of stuff he left is also

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Speaker 2: a stuff, So we left some of it stuff behind,

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Speaker 2: even other than gadgets. He left all the kitchen things

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Speaker 2: despite it being one hundred percent his. He left all

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Speaker 2: of the stuff in my niece's room, even though he

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Speaker 2: had paid for a lot of it. Right, that's not

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Speaker 2: his daughter, it's his stepdaughter. Yeah, and there was no consensus.

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Speaker 2: OPI basically received majority, not the ale.

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Speaker 1: Which I think, not the holes I think. I think

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Speaker 1: we're in greement here.

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Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, we got some relevant comments here.

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Speaker 2: So how did JR. Find out about Maggie's cheating? Opie

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Speaker 2: says text messages with her affair partner, Maggie freely admits

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Speaker 2: she was cheating, even admitted it in voicemails. And text

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Speaker 2: messages to JR after he sent the email. There's no

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Speaker 2: dispute about that. Did JR take some of Maggie's stuff

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Speaker 2: when he moved out? Opie says, none of what we

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Speaker 2: moved out was her stuff. I helped him move in.

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Speaker 2: It was all his. There were big ticket items like

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Speaker 2: the bed, living room, TV couches, dining room table, but

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Speaker 2: it was all stuff that he had before he moved here.

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Speaker 2: Much of it he had before they even started dating.

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Speaker 2: I guess that does leave or she comes home and

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Speaker 2: she's like, Okay, well now I have no bed, I

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Speaker 2: have no so again maybe another point in the conversation.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just her a Yeah. I mean I think

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Speaker 1: it's it's like she might have agreed, like, hey, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is all your stuff, but the fact that it's

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Speaker 1: just all gone there's an emotional real Yeah. Yeah, she

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Speaker 1: can plan a little bit more. Also, just I mean,

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Speaker 1: like thinking about the kid, like the kid is is

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Speaker 1: and the kid comes back, he's like, Mom, where's all

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Speaker 1: of our crab?

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Speaker 2: Why do we live in a box? Now? Yeah? Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Commentar number one says, I get the feeling that there

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Speaker 2: is info being left out, but I can't really put

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Speaker 2: my finger on what it is. Yeah, I think so too.

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Speaker 2: So I'm gonna ask a few questions. Who is Maggie

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Speaker 2: cheating with? How old is Maggie's daughter? What's the long

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Speaker 2: term plan here? This guy is your best friend and

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Speaker 2: you just plan to keep him secret forever? Why is

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Speaker 2: your wife so invested? Does she feel that she got

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Speaker 2: closer with her sister since g R Was there to

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Speaker 2: get everyone together, and now that he is gone, she

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Speaker 2: fears that she'll lose this closeness with her, So maybe

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Speaker 2: one reason why she's defending her so much. Please ask

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Speaker 2: your wife what would she say or do if she

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Speaker 2: did know where JR. Is she plans to bully him

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Speaker 2: into coming back? Or what if Maggie was so dependent

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Speaker 2: on this relationship? Why did she cheat? Did she have

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Speaker 2: a history of cheating? And Opie responds to that interrogation,

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Speaker 2: who was the person a coworker? The affair partner was

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Speaker 2: a coworkers? Well, Jr. Is trying to figure that out.

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Speaker 2: He's considering whether he's going to stay here or move

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Speaker 2: back home. He's not able to remain in hiding forever,

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Speaker 2: but right now this is the situation. I suspect that

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Speaker 2: in the next threeish months for him to figure out

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Speaker 2: what his plan is going to be. In the meantime,

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Speaker 2: I am not saying where he is to my wife.

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Speaker 2: Maggie was always the kid who could not get her

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Speaker 2: crap together. It annoyed Beca to no end. With JayR.

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Speaker 2: Moving in, it felt like Becca was getting her crap together.

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Speaker 1: So maybe she's worried that, like Maggie's gonna fault like

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Speaker 1: fault pieces.

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Speaker 2: And maybe that's also going to be her problem. Who Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that feels plausible.

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Speaker 1: It's like, finally someone took control of this mess of

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Speaker 1: a person. I had some rest, and now it's like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to go back into it.

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Speaker 2: Back to it. Yeah, especially with the breakup. Now she

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Speaker 2: is afraid things are going to revert. My in laws

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Speaker 2: are frustrated by that possibility too. They like JR. And

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Speaker 2: want to talk to JR. To see what they can

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Speaker 2: do to salvage the situation. Everyone wants JR.

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Speaker 3: Man.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's like, oh my god, you help this family so much.

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Speaker 1: Please you fumble the back, We'll pay you pay you

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Speaker 1: just take care of her.

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Speaker 2: JR. Is one of the nicest guys in the world

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Speaker 2: and does not want to upset them. Ultimately, they feel

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Speaker 2: like they have seen Maggie actually be a functioning adult

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Speaker 2: and are deeply afraid if JR leaves that she will

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Speaker 2: just stop doing that. Maggie's daughter is four years old.

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Speaker 2: Opion the possibility of his wife cheating and Maggie covering

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Speaker 2: up for her, that's.

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Speaker 1: What we said. I feel like that this is more

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Speaker 1: of a stretch than but hey, hey, I love.

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Speaker 2: A good hail Mary because when at lands and when

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Speaker 2: at lands and lands, it feels so good for a

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Speaker 2: half second and then's so bad.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh man, why am I right?

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Speaker 2: We don't want it to be true, so Opie response,

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Speaker 2: My wife and I have a life three sixty. We

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Speaker 2: work in office buildings next to each other. That is

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Speaker 2: how we met, and when we're not working, we spend

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Speaker 2: most of our time together. Could she be cheating, Absolutely,

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Speaker 2: but it would be pretty difficult for her to do that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, as Jeff Goldbloom says, life finds a way.

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Speaker 2: Opi responds to a downvoted comment regarding getting involved with

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Speaker 2: JayR situation. I'm guessing maybe like, uh, getting after him

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Speaker 2: for like hiding in and touching him, Opie says. On

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Speaker 2: top of that, I think you got too involved in

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Speaker 2: a situation that doesn't really concern you, Opie says, the

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Speaker 2: situation does concern me. First, this is outside of my brother,

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Speaker 2: the man closest to me in the whole world. Second,

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Speaker 2: he has asked for my help in the situation. Third,

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Speaker 2: he was with Maggie at least in part at my

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Speaker 2: prompting and suggestion after they met via me. I'm not

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Speaker 2: saying you can't refer him to open housing or to

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Speaker 2: help him pack up, but I think helping him facilitate

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Speaker 2: all of the pre planning makes you look a little

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Speaker 2: bit of an a hole. You can't throw your hands

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Speaker 2: up now and say it's none of my business and

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Speaker 2: not my place to tell when you kite literally made

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Speaker 2: it your business by executing this big butt secret plan

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Speaker 2: with him. Everyone sucks. Here A just quick gut take

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Speaker 2: on that, do you?

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Speaker 1: I mean? I think if a friend, if a friend

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Speaker 1: comes to you and asks, hey, I need your help,

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Speaker 1: but please don't tell your wife, I think you can.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, what do you think about that?

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Speaker 2: Dude?

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Speaker 1: It's it's tough.

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Speaker 2: It is. I've honestly been buying time because it is.

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Speaker 2: It is really really hard.

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Speaker 1: I think you could say like, Hey, I won't tell

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Speaker 1: her right now, but I do have to tell, like

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Speaker 1: tell my wife eventually, and then you tell your wife

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Speaker 1: and your wife is probably mad that you didn't talk

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Speaker 1: about it earlier.

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Speaker 2: Maybe also you could be like, hey, listen, Jr's going

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Speaker 2: through some stuff. He has asked me to, you know,

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Speaker 2: respect his privacy, and because of the situation, that's exactly

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Speaker 2: what I'm gonna do. So I'm I'm I'm telling you,

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Speaker 2: but I'm telling you I'm not gonna tell you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I like that.

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Speaker 1: I like to tell I'm not gonna tell you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Maybe that's what OPI could have done to not be

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Speaker 1: the a hole to his wife.

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Speaker 2: So Opie responds to this critique, I have no idea

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Speaker 2: where you see me saying it is quote unquote none

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Speaker 2: of my business. I am saying that I have been

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Speaker 2: asked to keep Jr's location confidential, and I am just

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Speaker 2: doing that. Another comment should know he be concerned about

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Speaker 2: his niece's relationship with JR. Opie said he did tell

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Speaker 2: her goodbye. He did not tell her to lie. Of

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Speaker 2: all people here, she is not upset with him being gone.

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Speaker 2: Her dad poisoned the well and told her to keep

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Speaker 2: her distance from him, and she generally did. She's not

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Speaker 2: upset at all that he's gone. So maybe, yeah, maybe

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Speaker 2: they didn't even have a good relationship. She doesn't care.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I guess it doesn't affect her too.

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Speaker 2: Commenter says, if Maggie and Becca were not close, then

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Speaker 2: why is Becca so angry? If she knows that Maggie cheated,

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Speaker 2: why she's threatened divorce over it? Does she condone Maggie's

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Speaker 2: behavior If she doesn't. If she doesn't, then she would

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Speaker 2: side with you and respect Jayr's right to his privacy.

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Speaker 2: At the very least, she would stay out of it.

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Speaker 2: This is why hooking people up is so hard, because

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Speaker 2: at some point you will be choosing sides. Maggie cheated

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Speaker 2: and will have to live with the consequences of her actions.

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Speaker 2: And I would have a long talk with Becca about

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Speaker 2: her behavior and the stance that she took against you

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Speaker 2: and JR. She chose the side with the cheater, which

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Speaker 2: says a lot about her character. You might want to

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Speaker 2: check out what's been going on with Becca that she

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Speaker 2: would choose the side of a cheater. When you side

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Speaker 2: with a cheater, you might be one yourself. Don't hold

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Speaker 2: that against me. I don't agree with that.

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Speaker 1: She's siding with her sister, you know, and I feel

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Speaker 1: like that's different than like, yes, like not the best

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Speaker 1: move because she did cheat, and I don't think that's

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Speaker 1: the side cheat should take. But she sided with her sister.

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Speaker 2: I think, and maybe this wasn't mentioned. She should have

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Speaker 2: at least been ki her in this process, being like, listen,

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Speaker 2: I know she f she totally fumbled the bag, but yeah,

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Speaker 2: you know, so you're not the a hole. But Becca

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Speaker 2: and Maggie are JR. Ghosted Maggie and that needs to

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Speaker 2: be respected. He doesn't want a confrontation and he doesn't

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Speaker 2: want to hear her lies. As a friend, you don't

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Speaker 2: have the right to portray his confidence, not even to

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Speaker 2: your wife. Hope you responds to this. Becca's tendency when

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Speaker 2: a crap hits the fan is for for anything, is

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Speaker 2: to go into fix it mode. She is an engineer

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Speaker 2: by training. She gets incredibly angry at anything she perceives

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Speaker 2: as in the way of fixing the problem, issue, bug,

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Speaker 2: et cetera. It's her default belief that anything can be fixed,

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Speaker 2: so she thinks what Maggie did. What Maggie did is

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Speaker 2: very crappy, but there's no way to undo it, so

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Speaker 2: why fix it on it? She she thinks the only

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Speaker 2: productive thing to do now is try and fix it.

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Speaker 2: She thinks she can fix it. I am telling her, no,

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Speaker 2: you can't, and in her mind, I am stopping her

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Speaker 2: from fixing it. So she's very pissed at me for that.

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Speaker 2: We have an update a month and a half later. WHOA,

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Speaker 2: I am guessing we might have some reveals on where

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Speaker 2: Jed Jr. Is at. Maybe some communication finally starts happening

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Speaker 2: between Jr. And Maggie. Weeks after the post, Becca let

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Speaker 2: it slip that I knew where Jr. Is located. This

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Speaker 2: caused a slew of intimidation from Maggie and my mother

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Speaker 2: in law. I refuse to tell him where he is.

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Speaker 2: Some choice words were exchanged between Maggie and I, so

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Speaker 2: I told Maggie she's not allowed in my house until

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Speaker 2: she apologizes to me. She refuses, so I have not

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Speaker 2: seen her or my in laws in about a month.

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Speaker 2: Since the end of March twenty twenty five, Maggie has

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Speaker 2: been living again with my in laws. Becca tried to

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Speaker 2: get me to agree to let Maggie and my niece

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Speaker 2: move in.

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Speaker 1: I really don't think that's a good idea.

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Speaker 2: Whoa, but I refused based on the conflict that I

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Speaker 2: have with Maggie and Beca's behavior the last couple of months.

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Speaker 2: Becca explained to me why she has been behaving the

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Speaker 2: way she has the last couple of months. Okay, Maggie's

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Speaker 2: X has said that if Maggie moves back in with

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Speaker 2: my in laws, he's gonna go for full custody of

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Speaker 2: my niece. Uh so that he's gonna take the kid

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Speaker 2: away from not just Maggie, but the whole side of

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Speaker 2: the family, right.

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Speaker 1: I mean, is it I feel like living with your

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Speaker 1: parents isn't necessarily a hostile I guess.

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Speaker 2: I guess you could argue she doesn't have, you know,

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Speaker 2: a place to live like I have. I have everything. Yeah. Now,

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Speaker 2: the neighborhood where my in laws live in is rough,

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Speaker 2: and there's a fair bit of conflict between Maggie and

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Speaker 2: my father in law since moving back in. My niece's

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Speaker 2: dad's lawyer. So the dad has reached out and indicated

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Speaker 2: that they are going for full custody. Becca is blaming

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Speaker 2: me and Jr. For this.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's not fair at all, dude. It feels

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Speaker 1: like this is not a stable environment for a kid.

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Speaker 1: But with this story, I'm not getting a lot of confidence.

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Speaker 1: Though she's a grand mom.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm I'm honestly thinking it's like it seems like

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Speaker 2: the lesser of two evils. It seems like possibly dad

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Speaker 2: might be the lesser of two evils, especially if is

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Speaker 2: he you know, can he send her to good schools

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Speaker 2: he's in a good place like that? Can he foster

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Speaker 2: a otherwise great and like economically good environments and everything?

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Speaker 2: I don't know, Opie says. She is convinced that if

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Speaker 2: they knew he was leaving, they could work something out

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Speaker 2: to keep them together or at least keep Maggie in

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Speaker 2: the apartment. I do not think this is the case

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Speaker 2: at all. By the way, you can listen to full

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Speaker 2: episodes of stories just like this, Ladies and gentlemen, more

363
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,080
Speaker 2: hot tea for you. Just going to Spotify, Apple our

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00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:25,959
Speaker 2: iHeart podcast app and search. Okay, story time, we got

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Speaker 2: two thousand episodes of juicy stories to listen to. But

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Speaker 2: we're gonna dive right in to the ending here. So

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Speaker 2: Jay is still processing but was willing to speak to

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Speaker 2: Maggie now, so we're finally getting some communication, so he

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Speaker 2: reached out a couple of weeks ago. This past weekend,

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Speaker 2: Maggie Jr. Spoke via FaceTime. Maggie wanted in person meeting,

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Speaker 2: but Jay Are absolutely refused. Maggie apologized and tried to

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Speaker 2: get Jr. To reconsider for my daughter for the step daughter. Jr.

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Speaker 1: Refused, Yeah, and they're not even married, like his daughter

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Speaker 1: doesn't lie. I can like, yeah, I mean there's nothing,

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Speaker 1: there's nothing for him.

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Speaker 2: It's all kind of like selfishly in Maggie's interest. I

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Speaker 2: feel like everything Maggie had an emotional outburst hung up

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Speaker 2: on her. There's no plan for him to speak to

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Speaker 2: her again. Relevant comments. So was Maggie on the lease

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Speaker 2: with Jr? Opie says she was on the least. She

381
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Speaker 2: did not qualify for the apartment on her own and

382
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Speaker 2: cannot meet the qualifications. The situation between my in laws

383
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Speaker 2: and Maggie was contentious before she moved in with jar.

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Speaker 2: I don't know if my niece's dad will win the

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Speaker 2: custody battle, but what I do know is that one

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Speaker 2: my niece has expressed being scared at my in law's house. Again.

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Speaker 2: It was like it's not unsafe neighborhood.

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Speaker 1: They said, Oh that sucks. Yeah, dude, I mean, hey

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Speaker 1: that I feel like that's that's a big that's a

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Speaker 1: big indicator, dude.

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Speaker 2: Number two, Maggie cannot afford to fight him on custody.

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Speaker 2: And three, generally, the quote unquote best interests of the

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Speaker 2: child is the standard in our state and the living

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Speaker 2: situation with her dad.

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Speaker 1: She's a great standard.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a good standard. It's a good standard. And

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Speaker 2: Opie says the living situation with her dad would be

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Speaker 2: significantly better. So I think what we're saying assuming is right.

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Speaker 2: He's kind of like, yeah, economic.

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Speaker 1: Better this kid away from Maggie.

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Speaker 2: Uh, I mean. Commenter says, your wife is delusional. Do

402
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,240
Speaker 2: not let Maggie move in. She will never move out.

403
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Speaker 2: Commentary number two says, Maggie fed up. Maggie continues to

404
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,840
Speaker 2: f up, and Becca is trying to make Maggie's f

405
00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:23,760
Speaker 2: ups your problem or Jr's, and it's neither. You don't

406
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,840
Speaker 2: need to take care of Maggie and your kid because

407
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,359
Speaker 2: she has an active father who likely has a valid

408
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,680
Speaker 2: reason to be upset about the current situation. Maybe Maggie

409
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Speaker 2: having no custody will wake her up. Because all of

410
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Speaker 2: this is through her own actions. She had a good

411
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,439
Speaker 2: guy and she cheated. She can't take care of herself

412
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Speaker 2: and her kid, and her parents have issues with her.

413
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Speaker 2: The common denominator is Maggie. Yeah, and you need to

414
00:19:46,359 --> 00:19:48,719
Speaker 2: have a conversation with your wife that this isn't your

415
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 2: problem and you don't want to make it your problem.

416
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Speaker 2: Becca needs to recognize that Maggie has been her own

417
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Speaker 2: worst enemy and if and Becca needs to figure out

418
00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,919
Speaker 2: if she wants to keep that BS drama in her life,

419
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 2: you can easily walk away. And that's a conversation that

420
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:06,000
Speaker 2: should come up. And comment your number three closes us out,

421
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,879
Speaker 2: not the ahole. And honestly, you've been the only adult

422
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 2: in the situation. Becca. Blaming you and JR. For Maggie's

423
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 2: custody issues is wild, considering Maggie's considering Maggie's own choices

424
00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:20,320
Speaker 2: blew up her life, JR. Owes her nothing, and the

425
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 2: fact that she tried to emotionally manipulate him for your daughter,

426
00:20:23,560 --> 00:20:26,800
Speaker 2: quote unquote is so gross. Like your daughter deserves love,

427
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Speaker 2: not guilt leverage relationships. You set boundaries, stuck to him,

428
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 2: and protected someone who needed space to heal. That's not

429
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: portrayal that's loyalty with a spine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean shadow Pee for sticking to their guns

431
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,840
Speaker 1: and sticking to their morals. Not easy when like it

432
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:46,720
Speaker 1: seems like everyone is against you, making you feel crazy.

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Speaker 1: He's probably like wait, literally he's coming to Reddit because

434
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: he's like, wait, am I crazy? Am I doing something

435
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:52,800
Speaker 1: wrong here?

436
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 2: Yes?

437
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:58,960
Speaker 1: Because everyone in his life, like I mean his wife, Becky, Maggie,

438
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,359
Speaker 1: the parents, they're all being like, dude, what are you doing.

439
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 2: It's a strong reality to force it when you have literally,

440
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,440
Speaker 2: you know, three, four, five, six people in your life

441
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,800
Speaker 2: all telling one thing. It is hard. Dude.

442
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,080
Speaker 1: You know, stay and you're like, wait, maybe I am wrong,

443
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 1: but shout out read it for setting setting the record straight. Yeah,

444
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 1: so we love to see.

445
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 2: My friend uninvited me from a trip right before we

446
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:25,800
Speaker 2: were leaving.

447
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,600
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess you can't go.

448
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,840
Speaker 2: I'm currently going to a smaller college and I'm in

449
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,280
Speaker 2: a sorority. I joined through the primary recruitment also known

450
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 2: as rushing. I ended up having a very highly ranked

451
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:39,360
Speaker 2: sorority and since September I have loved it and made

452
00:21:39,359 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 2: some very good friends or what I thought, we're very good.

453
00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 1: If you're telling me your sorority sisters aren't your real friends,

454
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: and they might be chat and smack behind your back.

455
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:54,080
Speaker 1: Impossible possible. Sorority girls are known for being very real.

456
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,240
Speaker 2: That is true, But you know what else is very real?

457
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 2: Necessary Pilot ten thirty seven is sending in this story.

458
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 2: If you wants tomit your own, go of our slash

459
00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:03,240
Speaker 2: shokey stories time sub reading. So back in December, I

460
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,679
Speaker 2: started getting close to a girl named Kelsey since she

461
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,040
Speaker 2: was in my sorority and was really good friends with

462
00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:10,480
Speaker 2: one of my other friends. We have a lot of

463
00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:13,200
Speaker 2: the same opinions and hobbies. She asked if I wanted

464
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,080
Speaker 2: to go to her house with her for spring break

465
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,560
Speaker 2: in March, and since she only lived a few hours away,

466
00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:19,280
Speaker 2: I thought it would be a fun little trip, so

467
00:22:19,359 --> 00:22:22,280
Speaker 2: I said yes. Now, from January to March we planned

468
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:24,359
Speaker 2: while we were going to go to the clubs, we

469
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 2: were going to go at and more stuff like that.

470
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,000
Speaker 2: We both seemed really excited, and she wanted to throw

471
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,520
Speaker 2: a house party for Saint Patrick's Day, so I helped

472
00:22:31,520 --> 00:22:34,120
Speaker 2: her plan that. The day before we were supposed to leave,

473
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:36,880
Speaker 2: we facetimed each other while we packed and talked about

474
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,199
Speaker 2: the plans for the next day about leaving, and I

475
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,040
Speaker 2: thought we were both still really excited. She hung up

476
00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,160
Speaker 2: and went to bed around two AM, and I stayed

477
00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 2: up packing till around five am, packing getting my house

478
00:22:47,680 --> 00:22:49,800
Speaker 2: clean since my family was on vacation and I was

479
00:22:49,880 --> 00:22:52,440
Speaker 2: left there alone. We had planned at Lee to leave

480
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 2: at one PM, so I got up around ten to

481
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:58,080
Speaker 2: get some random things finished, and around twelve, she texted

482
00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,199
Speaker 2: me and said she was finishing up some stuff and

483
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 2: she was about to come pick me up. So I

484
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,600
Speaker 2: called her and asked her about it. She said she

485
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 2: needed to put air in her tires but wasn't sure how.

486
00:23:09,240 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 2: I offered to go to her college and help her

487
00:23:11,240 --> 00:23:13,720
Speaker 2: out if she wanted, since I know how and where

488
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,919
Speaker 2: to do it blowing up the tires. She went on

489
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: to say that I didn't need to since I live

490
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,320
Speaker 2: off campus, and she asked our other friend Molly to

491
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 2: help her since she lived on campus. Kelsey said that

492
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,600
Speaker 2: Molly was on her way to help though she would

493
00:23:24,600 --> 00:23:27,159
Speaker 2: pick me up soon. Now we get to two pm,

494
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:29,960
Speaker 2: no texts or anything from Kelsey, so I called her

495
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:32,479
Speaker 2: again and said, Hey, I'm not mad or anything. I

496
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,240
Speaker 2: just want to know if you're okay and if you

497
00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:36,960
Speaker 2: need any help. I added that I'm not mad part

498
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,080
Speaker 2: because I know I can come off harsh sometimes, which

499
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:41,320
Speaker 2: when I don't mean to, and I know Kelsey is

500
00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,719
Speaker 2: more of a sensitive person. I'm trying to work on

501
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:45,479
Speaker 2: managing my tone since I realized I could come off

502
00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,920
Speaker 2: mean sometimes. So Kelsey said Molly will be here soon,

503
00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,800
Speaker 2: and said she's on her way. You don't need to

504
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 2: come help me and Molly have this. I'll text you

505
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,199
Speaker 2: in a bit with some updates. Three pm. She hasn't

506
00:23:56,200 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: texted me anything, so I call her again. Since I'm

507
00:23:59,359 --> 00:24:01,600
Speaker 2: starting to get because we really are off schedule and

508
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 2: the wind is getting really bad. I call her again

509
00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 2: and she said, Molly just got here. We're about to

510
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,560
Speaker 2: go put air on my tire. Now. I'll call you

511
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,479
Speaker 2: when i'm leaving to pick you up. I said, what

512
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,640
Speaker 2: do you mean she got there? You've been saying she's

513
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:15,880
Speaker 2: been on her way for over an hour. Now, I'm

514
00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,800
Speaker 2: not mad, but why didn't you let me just help you.

515
00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,960
Speaker 2: We could be halfway to your house by now, like

516
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,040
Speaker 2: I wouldn't have minded driving to campus to help. Kelsey said,

517
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 2: you live off campus. It's fine. Male lives really close

518
00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:27,680
Speaker 2: to me, so it made more sense at that point.

519
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 2: I just said okay, see you soon, and waited her

520
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 2: for her to come pick me up. It got to

521
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,440
Speaker 2: around four thirty PM and a half hour.

522
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 1: Yes, dear, this is so long, bro, just.

523
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,760
Speaker 2: Tell her so. I got a call from Kelsey saying

524
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:45,399
Speaker 2: that her mom wanted us to wait till tomorrow to

525
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 2: leave since the wind had gotten really bad. She asked

526
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:50,639
Speaker 2: if she could spend the night at my house and

527
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,800
Speaker 2: just leave from there in the morning. I told her

528
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,560
Speaker 2: I'm fine with leaving tomorrow, but I'm not sure if

529
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,840
Speaker 2: you can spend the night though, since my family isn't home.

530
00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 2: I just talked to you about it, to which she said, okay.

531
00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 2: If this story ends with her stringing her along like

532
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 2: goes to her house double stuff and then cancels on her.

533
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 1: Bro which I think that's where it's going, I.

534
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:13,320
Speaker 2: Just can't believe it. I ended up just chilling out

535
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 2: my house the rest of the night since my family

536
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 2: said they didn't want her spending the night, and I

537
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,040
Speaker 2: texted her and told her that that they said no.

538
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,640
Speaker 2: She started texting me about how we had to leave

539
00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: at seven am because her family wants her to be

540
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 2: home by early afternoon. So they can take her out

541
00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,120
Speaker 2: to buy a new car. Wow. Okay, so that kind

542
00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,320
Speaker 2: of threw me off since she's always complaining about being

543
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 2: broke and her family being middle class. But then she

544
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 2: sent me pictures of the car they were getting her.

545
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,640
Speaker 2: It was a brand new, high end sixty thousand dollars car.

546
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, and my parents wouldn't even spring for the Bugatti.

547
00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 2: They wouldn't even give me that.

548
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and we're only going to Turks and Cakos this year.

549
00:25:48,240 --> 00:25:50,399
Speaker 2: I wanted like the like lamba. They just gave me

550
00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 2: a BMW. Wow.

551
00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: You know it's so hard being poor, Like I really

552
00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:59,760
Speaker 1: know how all those like kids in those poor countries

553
00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,040
Speaker 1: with rice bulls feel. You know, this is my rice bowl.

554
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,679
Speaker 2: I didn't really say anything other than that's nice and

555
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:07,639
Speaker 2: how exciting to her, since at that point I was

556
00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:10,159
Speaker 2: getting tired and honestly didn't know how to respond. It

557
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,560
Speaker 2: gets to nine pm and she texts me this eight

558
00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 2: hours later. Hey girl, the conversation we had today, it

559
00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,560
Speaker 2: really upset me. Not leaving today and my tire being

560
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,840
Speaker 2: flat was situational and it feels like you're putting all

561
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,080
Speaker 2: the blame on me. I know that there's gonna be

562
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: some tension this week, and I haven't been too great.

563
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,120
Speaker 2: I think it's best if you don't come this week

564
00:26:27,320 --> 00:26:30,760
Speaker 2: and maybe come another time. She uninvited me from the

565
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 2: trip I helped plan in all caps, just really quick

566
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:36,920
Speaker 2: gut check. What do we do? What's our response?

567
00:26:37,240 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: Is feels so ridiculous. Basically, this other girl that OPI

568
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,480
Speaker 1: is waiting on has just been like continuously delayed and

569
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,600
Speaker 1: now is like, oh, yeah, you can't come again for

570
00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: a thing that Opie planned. That is crazy, but also

571
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: like it feels like a passive aggressive move. Yeah, where

572
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 1: it's like I don't like you. I'm not going to

573
00:26:57,000 --> 00:26:59,399
Speaker 1: tell you to your face. I'm just going to weave

574
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 1: this whole story right to me.

575
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:03,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna invent this whole nine hour saga to

576
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,440
Speaker 2: keep you waiting and then be like, oh no, I

577
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,879
Speaker 2: don't think you should go. I think that's exactly what's happening.

578
00:27:09,040 --> 00:27:11,800
Speaker 2: So at this point, I was so surprised and devastated,

579
00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:13,919
Speaker 2: since I had no other plans for spring break and

580
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,560
Speaker 2: I was going to be at our house all.

581
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:20,800
Speaker 1: Week, devastated, planless on spring break? What am I an

582
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,119
Speaker 1: engineering major? I feel like one of those kids with

583
00:27:24,200 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 1: the rice bul They probably have nothing to do on

584
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,399
Speaker 1: spring break either. We are the same spring Break for

585
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:32,080
Speaker 1: the poor.

586
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 2: My new charity, donate a BMW to a girl to

587
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 2: drive with full tires.

588
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: For every BMW that you donate one spring break sorority girl,

589
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:50,159
Speaker 1: shed's one last here and ask their daddy for money

590
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:54,040
Speaker 1: to one less time donate Now donate to our brother

591
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,600
Speaker 1: charity Shot for Frat Voice.

592
00:27:57,680 --> 00:28:02,399
Speaker 3: Which is specifically going to those entrepreneurship fraternities. So I

593
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,080
Speaker 3: didn't see the tension she was talking about, like I

594
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:09,680
Speaker 3: never had any at her. All I wanted were more

595
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,520
Speaker 3: updates about the plan.

596
00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,560
Speaker 2: And since she wasn't giving me anything, I had to

597
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,639
Speaker 2: be the one to ask about it. I said in

598
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 2: response to a text, that's your decision. Did I do

599
00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 2: anything wrong? I thought we were both really excited for

600
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,880
Speaker 2: this trip, and then she left my text on red

601
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,400
Speaker 2: for the entire week, didn't reach out.

602
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,920
Speaker 1: Like that is soft up? My god.

603
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 2: I would have liked texted you back of a lake.

604
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 2: I was like with Brad, it was like really stressful.

605
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,240
Speaker 2: After she uninvited me, I blocked her on Instagram, and

606
00:28:38,320 --> 00:28:40,440
Speaker 2: only on Instagram because I didn't want to see the

607
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 2: post that she would make about spring break.

608
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know you don't want to declare all out

609
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,360
Speaker 1: war brocking on Instagram. You know it shows like, hey,

610
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:48,360
Speaker 1: we mean business.

611
00:28:48,400 --> 00:28:51,400
Speaker 2: We want to place some naval ships in strategic places.

612
00:28:51,480 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 2: So I did that because my mental health has been

613
00:28:53,520 --> 00:28:56,920
Speaker 2: terrible since February because my best friend passed away suddenly

614
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,120
Speaker 2: and it really took a toll on me. So a

615
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:02,160
Speaker 2: week after spring I talked to Mollie since I felt

616
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,160
Speaker 2: like there was something more going on after spring break. Again,

617
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 2: Mollie was this third friend that was like allegedly coming

618
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,800
Speaker 2: over for a year to like come by. Yeah, Kelsey

619
00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 2: wouldn't even look at me during sorority events, and Mollie said,

620
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,080
Speaker 2: Kelsey felt really bad for her choice, and she knew

621
00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 2: I was mad, and she wasn't sure how to deal

622
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,640
Speaker 2: with it. So she just decided that ghosting me would

623
00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: be the best option. But she still really wanted to

624
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,480
Speaker 2: be friends with me. Just give it up. She just

625
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 2: wasn't sure how to fix what she did. I told Mollie,

626
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 2: if Kelsey really wants to fix it, she's gonna have

627
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,560
Speaker 2: to be the one to reach out to me, because

628
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 2: she is the one that made an adult decision that

629
00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:40,080
Speaker 2: has adult consequences of me being mad at her. I

630
00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 2: don't think Kelsey realizes that she ruined my spring break

631
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:45,800
Speaker 2: for me. It felt like she just made an offhanded

632
00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: decision without thinking of the repercussions that would come after it.

633
00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 2: Mollie told me that she was going to talk to

634
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,880
Speaker 2: Kelsey and that I should reach out later that night,

635
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,000
Speaker 2: and that's what I ended up doing. So I sent

636
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,640
Speaker 2: Kelsey a text saying that we needed to talk, and

637
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,160
Speaker 2: we had a conversation. So basically, Kelsey said, I'm sorry

638
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 2: for ghosting you in the beginning. I thought a few

639
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 2: days would help me figure out what to say, but

640
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: then I just never figured something out. Classic You didn't

641
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,959
Speaker 2: do anything wrong to me to make that decision. I

642
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:17,000
Speaker 2: just felt the touch would be awkward and I wasn't

643
00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 2: sure how to deal with it. I'm sorry for what

644
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,840
Speaker 2: I did. I really want to be friends with you

645
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 2: and get back to how things were with you. I

646
00:30:23,360 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 2: responded with, I don't know what tension you're talking about.

647
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:29,440
Speaker 2: I didn't feel any and it wasn't mad or anything.

648
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:32,120
Speaker 2: I just wanted updates. Do you realize that you ruined

649
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,000
Speaker 2: my spring break? You left me high and dry with

650
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 2: no time to make plans with other people again.

651
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:41,600
Speaker 1: One of the worst things that can happen to a

652
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,240
Speaker 1: young person in the modern world unfathomable. I mean, you

653
00:30:45,280 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 1: got polio, you got war, and then you got ruined

654
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 1: spring breaks.

655
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:50,760
Speaker 2: Now we're talking, I.

656
00:30:50,680 --> 00:30:52,800
Speaker 1: Think, you know, Bill Gates has like been trying to

657
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,120
Speaker 1: like solve the malaria crisis, you know, but I think

658
00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 1: he needs to shift.

659
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,880
Speaker 2: Bill Gates has said has made a promise to every

660
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:02,800
Speaker 2: twenty year old girl in a tank top that we

661
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,800
Speaker 2: will be making everyone's spring break incredible.

662
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,160
Speaker 1: You know, it might be called spring break, but we

663
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,920
Speaker 1: will not let our spirits be broken.

664
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,480
Speaker 2: We will not take a break on our journey to

665
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 2: fix spring break. So Kelsey responded, with each time I

666
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:18,280
Speaker 2: called you, I could hear you getting a little bit

667
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 2: more upset each time. And by the time I had

668
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,480
Speaker 2: to tell you that my mom wanted us to leave tomorrow,

669
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:24,760
Speaker 2: I was scared about how you're going to react. Then

670
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 2: you said you weren't sure, So I just wasn't sure

671
00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 2: what to do. I said, I wasn't sure about you

672
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 2: spending the night. I never said anything about not going

673
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,200
Speaker 2: on the trip or canceling it. I was still very sure.

674
00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: I wanted to go on the trip, and I made

675
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,480
Speaker 2: sure to say I wasn't sure if you could spend

676
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,080
Speaker 2: the night because I did have to talk to my

677
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:44,920
Speaker 2: family about it first. I never gave you any reason

678
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:46,800
Speaker 2: to think that I was mad. I made sure to

679
00:31:46,840 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: call you and give you the reassurance. She said, I'm

680
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 2: sorry for ruining your spring break. I didn't realize that's

681
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,080
Speaker 2: what you meant. What can I do to make this

682
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:55,800
Speaker 2: up so we can move on and get back to

683
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 2: how we were reconnect or knock? Can we actually like

684
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 2: build that frame ship and connection that they want had?

685
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 1: I think you can, But like I mean, I think

686
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:07,280
Speaker 1: he needs to be the right like setting, Like I think,

687
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 1: like maybe bottomless, a nice brunch perhaps.

688
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,320
Speaker 2: So Opie says, I've lost all trust in you. But

689
00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:16,520
Speaker 2: we can go slow back to being where we were

690
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:19,840
Speaker 2: before now. Two weeks after that conversation, I tried talking

691
00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 2: to Kelsey at sorority events, but she just walked away.

692
00:32:23,360 --> 00:32:25,880
Speaker 2: There's no contact. It seemed like she had just cut

693
00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 2: me out of her life. After saying that she wanted

694
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,480
Speaker 2: to be friends, I found out she was telling.

695
00:32:30,320 --> 00:32:34,880
Speaker 1: Other people, no way, don't you dare tell me that sorority.

696
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 1: Kelsey was talking behind Op's bat.

697
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,160
Speaker 2: I know it's unimaginable. Oh, the unimaginable has happened.

698
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 1: Goodness, you know you think you know someone.

699
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 2: The unimaginable's happening. So get to imagine. And because we're

700
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,160
Speaker 2: about to see it in real life, I found out

701
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 2: she was telling other people that she had been trying

702
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 2: and that I just wasn't receptive. I ended up texting

703
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 2: her asking what was going on, because I thought she

704
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,600
Speaker 2: still wanted to be friends. She brought up the fact

705
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,960
Speaker 2: I blocked on Instagram, and she was very hurt by that,

706
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,680
Speaker 2: saying that it has given her reservations about starting the

707
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 2: friendship up again. I responded with I was very hurt

708
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,480
Speaker 2: when you uninvited me from the trip. I blocked you

709
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,800
Speaker 2: on Instagram because I didn't want to see the posts

710
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 2: that you would make. I don't see it how it's

711
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:15,520
Speaker 2: a big deal.

712
00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: Come on, don't bane ignorance about what a block on

713
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 1: Snapchat means. That is serious stuff. That's basically North Korea

714
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 1: doing a nuclear missile test. Saying like, I mean, it's

715
00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: just crazy for think it gets anything more, but just

716
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,080
Speaker 1: just say you know what we got.

717
00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: How about this? I kept you on Snapchat and the messages.

718
00:33:40,600 --> 00:33:41,760
Speaker 2: Are we rectified? Are we?

719
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I do think the move to keep

720
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: someone on Snapchat it's still opening up the lines of communication, right.

721
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,520
Speaker 1: You got the stories, you got, the messages still there.

722
00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 1: It's honestly like a backup Instagram in a lot of ways.

723
00:33:54,920 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 1: So like, I really do think the block on Instagram

724
00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 1: is more of a show of worse rather than any

725
00:34:01,200 --> 00:34:02,680
Speaker 1: kind of meaningful disconnection.

726
00:34:03,040 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 2: So I kept you on Snapchat of messages. I didn't

727
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,600
Speaker 2: cut you out entirely. I just didn't want to see

728
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,960
Speaker 2: the posts. She said it hurt her feelings. She didn't

729
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:14,480
Speaker 2: hate me, but she just had reservations about being friends.

730
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 2: And I said she was being hypocritical, But she punted

731
00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 2: me out of a week long trip that I helped plan.

732
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 2: And now she's making a big deal about blocking me

733
00:34:21,840 --> 00:34:25,000
Speaker 2: on Instagram. I think she's been hypocritical when she's just

734
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,480
Speaker 2: speaking out about how she feels and some more stuff

735
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,040
Speaker 2: like that. At that point, I just blocked her because

736
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: I didn't even see the point in it anymore.

737
00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:37,800
Speaker 1: Wait on Snapchat and messages, I think so full scale.

738
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 1: Finally that's serious, man, stone cold Ope.

739
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,359
Speaker 2: By the way, dam something you all should know very

740
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,759
Speaker 2: well is that we have over two thousand episodes on

741
00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:51,719
Speaker 2: our podcast, full episodes with stories just like this. So

742
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 2: go to Apple, go to iHeart, go to Spotify search Okay,

743
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:59,279
Speaker 2: storytop start listening right now. Anyways, let's close out the story. Boys. So,

744
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 2: I don't see where she has the right to be

745
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,840
Speaker 2: mad about me blocking her on Instagram after she invited

746
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,480
Speaker 2: me from a week long trip. To me, those two

747
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:09,880
Speaker 2: actions are equal. I don't think she fully realizes that

748
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,279
Speaker 2: her actions have consequences and she's not the only one

749
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,879
Speaker 2: affected by them. It seems very unfair to me how

750
00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,359
Speaker 2: she's acting, how she feels like her feelings are more

751
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 2: valid than mine. And I'm also put off by the

752
00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: fact that she says how broke she is and that

753
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:24,319
Speaker 2: her family's just middle class. When I found out they

754
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 2: live in a very nice gated community and they bought

755
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:31,359
Speaker 2: her a sixty thousand dollars car on a whim. That

756
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:33,400
Speaker 2: was very surprising to me as well. Am I the

757
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 2: a hole for blocking her after she uninvited me from

758
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:37,680
Speaker 2: spring break?

759
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: I think you're both a little bit a whole ish.

760
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:41,879
Speaker 2: Yeah.

761
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: This cold war that you've created over spring break, it

762
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:51,799
Speaker 1: is sorority communication. It's like backstabby and kind of you know,

763
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:56,840
Speaker 1: just mean and just bad communication, say what you really

764
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: feel to each other's faces. But yeah, that's where that's

765
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 1: story ends.

766
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,520
Speaker 2: John Here, we're gonna get back to this juicy story,

767
00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: but a quick three minute break of aths from our sponsors.

768
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:10,560
Speaker 1: My husband wants to have a baby with another woman. Uh,

769
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,640
Speaker 1: it's gonna be our baby baby. Also trigger warning loss

770
00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,439
Speaker 1: of pregnancy. But let's get into the story. So I'm

771
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:19,920
Speaker 1: honestly in a bit of a shock after everything that

772
00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:22,440
Speaker 1: has transpired in the past twenty four hours and need

773
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:26,240
Speaker 1: some unbiased opinions to get me through a little background.

774
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:28,680
Speaker 1: My significant mother and I have been married for four

775
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 1: years and together for seven. He's a civil engineer who

776
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,040
Speaker 1: is more so ambivalent to his career. His real passions

777
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,359
Speaker 1: lie and his hobbies, our relationship and his friends. That's

778
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,680
Speaker 1: pretty cute. I am an emergency medicine doctor and this

779
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:44,600
Speaker 1: is my passion. By the way, this comes from doctor

780
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: Mick Puffy And if you want us to git your

781
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:49,600
Speaker 1: own stories, go to our slash Okay storytime. So I

782
00:36:49,680 --> 00:36:53,040
Speaker 1: write it. So I love my husband, my friends, and

783
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:57,879
Speaker 1: I have hobbies, but my work is my passion. Ooh,

784
00:36:57,920 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 1: becoming a doctor was my dream since I was well

785
00:37:00,239 --> 00:37:03,319
Speaker 1: that I have made it a reality. Now my issue.

786
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 1: About fourteen months ago, my husband was pushing me to

787
00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:10,400
Speaker 1: get pregnants. He wanted a baby. I honestly did not.

788
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 1: I was finally hitting my stride at work. We had

789
00:37:12,920 --> 00:37:15,560
Speaker 1: just bought our first condo together and we weren't living

790
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 1: a really kid friendly life. I did not tell him

791
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,160
Speaker 1: this most because I was a coward and we have

792
00:37:22,200 --> 00:37:24,319
Speaker 1: never really disagreed before, so I kept my mouth shut.

793
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 1: So I kept my mouth shut and decided it wouldn't

794
00:37:27,200 --> 00:37:29,160
Speaker 1: be a huge sacrifice to have a baby. I could

795
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,760
Speaker 1: make it work. What do we always say.

796
00:37:30,680 --> 00:37:33,319
Speaker 2: John communicate early, and often.

797
00:37:33,120 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 1: Communicate early, and often, especially about something as big as

798
00:37:37,680 --> 00:37:42,440
Speaker 1: a kid. We got pregnant. I was miserable. Oh, pregnancy

799
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 1: did not suit me and I wanted it to be over.

800
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 1: I felt disconnected from everything, especially my pregnancy, and I

801
00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: sought out therapy. My therapist told me that I was

802
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:54,400
Speaker 1: holding resentment against this baby, and I was in a

803
00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 1: great spot in my career and was more worried about

804
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,240
Speaker 1: that than my unborn child.

805
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:00,719
Speaker 2: She was right.

806
00:38:01,600 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 1: I worked on this, and by month six I was

807
00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:07,040
Speaker 1: really excited to have this baby. My husband and I

808
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,520
Speaker 1: were in a better place. My resentment and attitude really

809
00:38:09,560 --> 00:38:12,240
Speaker 1: hurt our relationship during this time, and everything was going

810
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:15,920
Speaker 1: well until it wasn't around seven months and I had

811
00:38:15,960 --> 00:38:19,520
Speaker 1: some horrible complications that have caused my chances of ever

812
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:23,000
Speaker 1: getting pregnant being incredibly low. I know that I am

813
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:26,600
Speaker 1: never getting pregnant. After the initial shock, recovering from the

814
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 1: physical trauma and the emotional trauma, I won't lie. I

815
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: felt relieved, massive relief. I didn't want to be a

816
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 1: mother then, but I will, but I will down the road.

817
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: I am a firm believer that this was just not

818
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 1: meant to be, but my husband took it harder. With

819
00:38:39,280 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: some therapy, though on both our ends, we seem to

820
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,719
Speaker 1: be in a good spot until last night. Last night,

821
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,439
Speaker 1: my husband approached me. He said that he really wants

822
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:50,279
Speaker 1: us to have a kid, and Ford gives me, oh

823
00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 1: no for losing hours, Oh sun, oh no, how do

824
00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,080
Speaker 1: you say something like that?

825
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:02,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, this is not a good guy.

826
00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:05,120
Speaker 1: I don't think we've heard a worst thing you could

827
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,320
Speaker 1: say after a lost pregnancy.

828
00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,760
Speaker 2: I'm I'm literally trying to rack my brain and I'm

829
00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:12,919
Speaker 2: tragically curious as to what this reaction, and like.

830
00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:17,560
Speaker 1: My house, maybe he'll recover in the second how let's say,

831
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,319
Speaker 1: maybe we'll recover. He knows that I cannot conceive, but

832
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: reminded me that he is more than capable. If we

833
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,440
Speaker 1: want a baby, then we need to look into adoption

834
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,399
Speaker 1: or getting donated eggs and going the surrogacy route. Right now,

835
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:33,120
Speaker 1: we aren't in a financial position for that either. Then

836
00:39:33,160 --> 00:39:37,319
Speaker 1: he asks, what if there was another way? Naturally asked what.

837
00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:39,560
Speaker 1: He told me that there was a woman at work

838
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:42,479
Speaker 1: that he has known for several years. Apparently she knows

839
00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:45,680
Speaker 1: all about our marital problems and knows all about my

840
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:48,800
Speaker 1: health issues over the past years. He said. They recently

841
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,400
Speaker 1: went to drinks together. I was at an overnight shift,

842
00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:55,880
Speaker 1: and after a few drinks, she offered to not only

843
00:39:55,960 --> 00:40:01,359
Speaker 1: donate eggs, but to be our surrogate. This seems too

844
00:40:01,440 --> 00:40:05,719
Speaker 1: good to be true, right, yep? We we knew you

845
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:08,680
Speaker 1: would be okay with it. So after drinks, we did

846
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 1: a little surrogacy session, you know, a little little.

847
00:40:11,120 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 2: Prep We why why would we make you wait? Yeah,

848
00:40:14,719 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 2: you know what I mean?

849
00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: And you know it's so expensive, it's so expensive.

850
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 2: We wanted to get the process started. Now, and you

851
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:22,920
Speaker 2: know we might have to do it many times for me,

852
00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,400
Speaker 2: you know, you know, you know, strike, you know.

853
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: Strike baby. But don't worry. I am going to put

854
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:30,520
Speaker 1: in the work every single day, every single day. I'm

855
00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:32,759
Speaker 1: going to be in every single night, every morning. Yes,

856
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 1: I know, she will only do this if my husband

857
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:41,720
Speaker 1: impregnates her the natural way, having spicy sleep with her

858
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:46,920
Speaker 1: during her ovulation period until she gets pregnant. I was

859
00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:49,399
Speaker 1: baffled by this.

860
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 2: It's so obvious. This is just cheating. This is literally

861
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: just cheating. He's trying to find a loophole, like he

862
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: hasn't checked in with her and been like, because, think

863
00:40:57,520 --> 00:40:59,480
Speaker 2: about it, she just lost a kid. She could probably

864
00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 2: have it so many complicated emotions.

865
00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:04,880
Speaker 1: We literally not chuched with her once. First, he was

866
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:08,719
Speaker 1: considering it and seemed genuinely excited for this. Yeah, I'm

867
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,479
Speaker 1: sure he was. Second, that this woman would offer such

868
00:41:12,480 --> 00:41:15,200
Speaker 1: a thing without ever having met me, and finally that

869
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:17,680
Speaker 1: he had shared such intimate details with her. Yes, he

870
00:41:17,719 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: said that. He then followed up with her when they

871
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:23,360
Speaker 1: were both sover via text, and she responded, Oh, I

872
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:24,760
Speaker 1: would love to have your baby.

873
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 2: It just keeps getting worse.

874
00:41:26,719 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 1: I think she's trying to get Opie's husband comfortable enough

875
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,719
Speaker 1: to leave, and it's just kind of easing him into

876
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:40,680
Speaker 1: the wise and Opie's husband is just stebbing right on end.

877
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:42,120
Speaker 2: Man, that's so bad.

878
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: This seems odd to me, and I questioned the mental

879
00:41:45,160 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: stability of this woman, But then my husband's entire demeanor

880
00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,759
Speaker 1: shocks me. I told him I wasn't sure about this.

881
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 1: If we go the surrogate route, I would prefer to

882
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,719
Speaker 1: be all anonymous in our surrogate, to be a stranger.

883
00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,919
Speaker 1: I don't want this getting messy or having to worry

884
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 1: about running into the egg donor instead of seeing the

885
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,279
Speaker 1: validity of my opinions. He told me that having a

886
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 1: baby with him was non negotiable, that this friend wants

887
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 1: to help us, you wouldn't mind doing it her way

888
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 1: and would be the most cost efficient since we just

889
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,319
Speaker 1: discussed how we cannot afford it at this time. He

890
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,440
Speaker 1: told me that if I love him and want a baby,

891
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,120
Speaker 1: then I will do this for him.

892
00:42:19,200 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: Dude.

893
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: I try to explain to him that I am not

894
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 1: sure if I am ready for this, and I don't

895
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: know if I'm comfortable with all this, especially with him

896
00:42:26,280 --> 00:42:29,640
Speaker 1: sleeping with someone else, he brushed that off. I mean,

897
00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,759
Speaker 1: no big deal if you were to sleep with her,

898
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: and then I'm overreacting that he stood by while I

899
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:39,960
Speaker 1: got my dream and he was left alone slash ignored.

900
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 1: I never knew he felt this way and that I

901
00:42:43,160 --> 00:42:46,520
Speaker 1: owed it to him to let him do this. Today,

902
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:50,239
Speaker 1: I looked this woman up on Facebook and she is

903
00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:55,360
Speaker 1: very attractive. Oh man, I would say that my husband

904
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:59,440
Speaker 1: and I are both average looking, but she is definitely striking,

905
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:04,000
Speaker 1: which makes my anxiety go even higher. Why do this

906
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: for us? I don't get what she gets out of this?

907
00:43:07,160 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 1: Am I overreacting? This seems completely bizarre to me, and

908
00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 1: I'm questioning everything in our relationship. What should I do?

909
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:19,439
Speaker 1: We got some comments, we got some updates, But John, yes, sir,

910
00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:21,440
Speaker 1: what should OPI do?

911
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 2: I know that OPI struggles with confrontation and being honest.

912
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,800
Speaker 2: I think because of the severity of the scenario, I'm

913
00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 2: getting worried that husband's just gonna kind of bold those

914
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:39,319
Speaker 2: his way through this. Maybe she could do something like

915
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,879
Speaker 2: get like a counselor or something and talk to them

916
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,000
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, can you help me, like like

917
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 2: tell him how I really feel and like get this,

918
00:43:50,440 --> 00:43:52,760
Speaker 2: get this all together, and I think too by proxy

919
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,719
Speaker 2: of that, the counselor will be like, oh, like, hey,

920
00:43:55,719 --> 00:44:00,000
Speaker 2: this sucks, this is terrible, and he said, you know,

921
00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:02,919
Speaker 2: oh this is non negotiable. Great, then the deal is off.

922
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:05,239
Speaker 2: Are our deal of, like us being committed to each

923
00:44:05,239 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 2: other is done? If you're not gonna be able to

924
00:44:08,640 --> 00:44:10,879
Speaker 2: even talk about any of these ridiculous things are trying

925
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:13,520
Speaker 2: to make, would you say the relationship is over? She

926
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 2: I think she has to leave.

927
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think she has to leave. But I think,

928
00:44:17,400 --> 00:44:19,839
Speaker 1: like to your point, like the counselor is just a

929
00:44:19,880 --> 00:44:22,759
Speaker 1: way for her to understand that.

930
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,560
Speaker 2: You realize that. Yeah, and hopefully you know, I think

931
00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:29,040
Speaker 2: this will be a good experience for her to learn

932
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,640
Speaker 2: the voice, the voice she deserves to have. Yeah, exactly

933
00:44:32,640 --> 00:44:33,600
Speaker 2: stand up for herself.

934
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:35,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and like this is like one of the

935
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:37,759
Speaker 1: first ways she can train herself to like do that. Yes,

936
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:41,400
Speaker 1: but we got some comments, we got some updates, so comments.

937
00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,799
Speaker 1: Are you sure she's not already pregnant? Well, I don't

938
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:47,399
Speaker 1: think she is. He told me that they mapped out

939
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: her cycles and insinuated that I could help figure out

940
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 1: when is best for her and that we could aim

941
00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,160
Speaker 1: for a January insemination date, so that we could have

942
00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:57,840
Speaker 1: a fall baby. There is no way that she is

943
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,799
Speaker 1: already pregnant, assuming six plus weeks, they could fool me

944
00:45:00,800 --> 00:45:04,080
Speaker 1: with a fall baby and reply, this is so gross

945
00:45:04,120 --> 00:45:06,480
Speaker 1: and appropriate, Opie says. It is the fact that he

946
00:45:06,560 --> 00:45:09,719
Speaker 1: has conversations with her about her population cycles, which we

947
00:45:09,800 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 1: didn't even talk about when we were trying to conceive,

948
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:15,080
Speaker 1: is grossly inappropriate. That didn't even hit me until I

949
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,240
Speaker 1: started reading some of the comments and we have the update.

950
00:45:17,840 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 2: I'm so afraid everything out of this man's mouth is pure,

951
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,359
Speaker 2: utter hot steaming. Yeah.

952
00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:28,279
Speaker 1: I don't know why he just doesn't, you know, go

953
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,319
Speaker 1: to her, Please leave, Just leave.

954
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:34,440
Speaker 2: There's the door, Yeah, you can walk out of it,

955
00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 2: and just just just just go.

956
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,399
Speaker 1: I spoke with my husband on Tuesday, after he got

957
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 1: home from work and before I had to leave for work.

958
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:45,279
Speaker 1: I explained to him that even though I do want

959
00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:48,440
Speaker 1: kids down the road, I would not be comfortable with

960
00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: this friend being our surrogate and that this would not

961
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 1: change for me. Ever, all of it made me uncomfortable

962
00:45:56,840 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 1: and honestly made me question his fidelity. He was shocked

963
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 1: by this. His exact words were, are you saying that

964
00:46:06,160 --> 00:46:08,120
Speaker 1: I cheated on you. I laid it out for him,

965
00:46:08,160 --> 00:46:10,120
Speaker 1: pointing out a lot of things that were pointed out

966
00:46:10,160 --> 00:46:14,160
Speaker 1: to me from my original post, and stated that even

967
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:17,880
Speaker 1: if he hadn't yet physically cheated, he emotionally cheated. He

968
00:46:17,920 --> 00:46:20,759
Speaker 1: said that he did have an emotional connection with her,

969
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: but beyond that nothing else. I asked if they had

970
00:46:25,080 --> 00:46:28,680
Speaker 1: spicy sleep, kissing, anything spicy related at all. He was

971
00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:31,600
Speaker 1: baffled that I would even think this and adamant he

972
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,480
Speaker 1: did not have any spicy related contact with her. He

973
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:37,600
Speaker 1: reiterated that he loves me and I am the only

974
00:46:37,640 --> 00:46:40,040
Speaker 1: one he wants. The whole idea of this was because

975
00:46:40,040 --> 00:46:42,720
Speaker 1: he wanted to give us a family and help repair

976
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:45,160
Speaker 1: the loss. This was just a way to do that,

977
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 1: and he never saw it as cheating because it would

978
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:49,440
Speaker 1: be something we both would agree to. I told him

979
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:52,840
Speaker 1: that isn't true, because he emotionally manipulated me, or tried

980
00:46:52,880 --> 00:46:55,239
Speaker 1: to and going along with it. I told him I

981
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:59,680
Speaker 1: needed to know what their relationship was like. He admitted

982
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,000
Speaker 1: over the past year, even while I was pregnant, he

983
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,560
Speaker 1: confided in her about my obvious lack of interest in

984
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:09,239
Speaker 1: the pregnancy and my disdain toward motherhood, So he did

985
00:47:09,320 --> 00:47:13,760
Speaker 1: know and kind of just forced OP to continue.

986
00:47:13,320 --> 00:47:16,160
Speaker 2: At this path, not surprised in the slightest.

987
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:18,920
Speaker 1: My disdain towards motherhood, his fear of me hating our baby,

988
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:21,799
Speaker 1: and the issues that persisted in our relationship. Apparently she

989
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,760
Speaker 1: was shocked I would feel this way towards a baby.

990
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,920
Speaker 1: She told him that she has only ever wanted to

991
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:30,640
Speaker 1: be a mother. Since then, they have only gotten closer,

992
00:47:30,640 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: but he denies it has ever gotten physical, or that

993
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:36,959
Speaker 1: he has felt any romantic inclinations towards her. He said

994
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:39,640
Speaker 1: that the surrogacy was completely her idea and she has

995
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:42,840
Speaker 1: been hinting at it for weeks, telling him how she

996
00:47:42,880 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 1: would carry our baby for us, how he deserves to

997
00:47:45,440 --> 00:47:47,640
Speaker 1: be a dad. But informed her that we did not

998
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,360
Speaker 1: have any frozen eggs or options or egg donation or adoption,

999
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:56,000
Speaker 1: which we couldn't afford. No problem, she suggested using her eggs,

1000
00:47:56,320 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 1: which is how the plan took shape of conspiracy theory.

1001
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 1: She wants a baby. I think she won't give her

1002
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:03,560
Speaker 1: the baby. I don't even know she's fully interested in OP.

1003
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,799
Speaker 1: Maybe she just sees a little baby opportunity. You have

1004
00:48:06,840 --> 00:48:10,600
Speaker 1: baby opportunity. I feel like like this alone is grounds

1005
00:48:10,600 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 1: for divorce. Yeah, even if there was no cheating.

1006
00:48:13,239 --> 00:48:13,520
Speaker 2: Yes.

1007
00:48:14,800 --> 00:48:17,239
Speaker 1: He said that they could do artificial incummination, but she

1008
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: said she didn't want medical records of this, and natural

1009
00:48:20,120 --> 00:48:22,960
Speaker 1: insonation would keep cost down. I asked him what the

1010
00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,080
Speaker 1: if he was thinking talking to her about stuff like

1011
00:48:25,120 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: this and thinking that this was okay. He looked like

1012
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,799
Speaker 1: a deer caught in the headlights. I asked him how

1013
00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,880
Speaker 1: he would feel if I did this, If he was

1014
00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:36,640
Speaker 1: the infertile one and I had an attractive doctor friend

1015
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:40,280
Speaker 1: knock me up with no strings attached at his suggestion,

1016
00:48:40,960 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: how would he feel he had nothing to say to this?

1017
00:48:44,840 --> 00:48:46,520
Speaker 2: There you go, There you go.

1018
00:48:46,880 --> 00:48:49,400
Speaker 1: I told him that I felt absolutely betrayed by all

1019
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 1: of this. Clearly she has some sort of mental health

1020
00:48:52,520 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 1: problems and an unhealthy attachment to my husband, but beyond that,

1021
00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:59,759
Speaker 1: his relationship with her is inappropriate. He said, obviously, I

1022
00:49:00,239 --> 00:49:03,279
Speaker 1: too much, no crap. I told him that I am

1023
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 1: upset that he forgave me his quote yeah for the

1024
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,759
Speaker 1: loss for a baby, which I had no control over,

1025
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 1: and that he used that to emotionally manipulate me. He

1026
00:49:12,160 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: apologized for that. He never meant it to come out

1027
00:49:14,560 --> 00:49:17,279
Speaker 1: like that and in no way blames me. After that,

1028
00:49:17,320 --> 00:49:19,360
Speaker 1: everything calmed down, but I told him I needed some

1029
00:49:19,440 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 1: space from him for a bit. He asked if our

1030
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:27,160
Speaker 1: marriage was over. I wonder if he wants that.

1031
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:28,960
Speaker 2: He wants her to do it.

1032
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,319
Speaker 1: It is hard to break up with your partner. It's

1033
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,040
Speaker 1: much easier to like have them do it the works

1034
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:35,879
Speaker 1: and like just push them away.

1035
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:38,640
Speaker 2: And him it's it's almost like, looking back on it now,

1036
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 2: it's almost like, oh, all of these things he do

1037
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:44,399
Speaker 2: he's doing almost seems strategic to where it's like, yes,

1038
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:46,960
Speaker 2: it'll it will just push her to the brink of

1039
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:52,080
Speaker 2: wanting to her initiate the breakup. But I mean, he

1040
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 2: still looks like a bad guy. But it's like, oh,

1041
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 2: I didn't cheat, or you know, I didn't do x

1042
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 2: y Z. Yeah.

1043
00:49:56,560 --> 00:49:58,879
Speaker 1: He asked if our marriage was over. I told him

1044
00:49:58,920 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: I didn't think so. But this has been really emotionally

1045
00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: turbulent a few days and I need to process it.

1046
00:50:04,080 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 1: I think that's fair. I think her processing and taking

1047
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 1: time is she shouldn't make any like split second reactions.

1048
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:14,160
Speaker 1: He told me that he doesn't want our marriage to

1049
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:16,520
Speaker 1: be over if this was something I was considering. He

1050
00:50:16,560 --> 00:50:18,520
Speaker 1: loves me more than anything and cannot bear to lose me,

1051
00:50:18,640 --> 00:50:21,000
Speaker 1: or this that losing our baby was devastating and has

1052
00:50:21,000 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 1: made him depress, confusion, angry, but he does not want

1053
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,440
Speaker 1: to lose me at all, which you might be true.

1054
00:50:26,600 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 1: People when they're depressed and confused and angry make terrible decisions,

1055
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:36,920
Speaker 1: not excusing the behavior at all. But maybe this is

1056
00:50:37,800 --> 00:50:42,840
Speaker 1: a short term blindness. I told him he should not

1057
00:50:43,080 --> 00:50:45,720
Speaker 1: have thought about that before planning to stick his wiener

1058
00:50:46,360 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: in crazy. I told him that if he wants to

1059
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:51,400
Speaker 1: keep open communication, he needs to get ties with her.

1060
00:50:51,640 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: Obviously he works with her, but nothing beyond whatever work

1061
00:50:54,239 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: contact they have to have. He needs to go to

1062
00:50:56,239 --> 00:50:58,920
Speaker 1: individual counseling and come to at least one counseling session

1063
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:01,080
Speaker 1: with me per week. Before he left, he changed his

1064
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 1: phone number, blocked her on Facebook, and deactivated it. He

1065
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,080
Speaker 1: told me that he would give me access to whatever

1066
00:51:06,120 --> 00:51:09,400
Speaker 1: I wanted to see to prove that the relationship was

1067
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 1: severed and that it was nothing more than what he

1068
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 1: told me. His parting words were I just want to

1069
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 1: build a family with you, which absolutely gutted me. Wednesday afternoon,

1070
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,560
Speaker 1: I checked his email. There was nothing, nothing deleted, bin

1071
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 1: or recovered deleted out items, and outlook. Facebook was hard

1072
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: to look at. There were a lot of chat messages

1073
00:51:27,040 --> 00:51:29,080
Speaker 1: between the two of them, spanning the last eight months

1074
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:32,320
Speaker 1: when he added her on Facebook. Overall, his messages were friendly.

1075
00:51:32,640 --> 00:51:35,400
Speaker 1: A few times he was flirty, but never spicy, related,

1076
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:37,920
Speaker 1: or what I would consider too much for what should

1077
00:51:37,920 --> 00:51:41,120
Speaker 1: be friends. But hers were pretty clear in her meaning.

1078
00:51:41,520 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 1: The messages are clear she's making some kind of play

1079
00:51:44,239 --> 00:51:46,920
Speaker 1: for him. I took screenshots of all the conversations.

1080
00:51:46,920 --> 00:51:47,319
Speaker 2: Don't worry.

1081
00:51:47,320 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: I triple checked for any deleted messages, hid and apps

1082
00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:55,080
Speaker 1: or other messaging services, and re deactivated his Facebook. I

1083
00:51:55,160 --> 00:51:56,080
Speaker 1: have his iPad.

1084
00:51:56,600 --> 00:51:58,280
Speaker 2: A dipad.

1085
00:51:58,320 --> 00:52:01,719
Speaker 1: They never remember delete the messages on the iPad.

1086
00:52:02,080 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 2: Oh shout out Steve jobs Man.

1087
00:52:04,200 --> 00:52:06,279
Speaker 1: Well, I have his iPad and it was able to

1088
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 1: look at the messages on there. They appeared to elite

1089
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:13,520
Speaker 1: every thirty days, which left me with that to look at. Overall,

1090
00:52:13,640 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 1: the text and chats line up with his story, but

1091
00:52:15,800 --> 00:52:18,200
Speaker 1: the whole exchange about the logistics makes me sick. She

1092
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,359
Speaker 1: talks about making a baby as though it's a date,

1093
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:22,799
Speaker 1: that she doesn't want it to be sterile or feel

1094
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: like she's being used. Her comments were inappropriate, but he

1095
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,840
Speaker 1: never stopped her or corrected her. She even insulted me

1096
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:32,280
Speaker 1: several times when he expressed concern about how I would feel,

1097
00:52:32,600 --> 00:52:36,000
Speaker 1: saying things like she's cold hearted and maybe you should

1098
00:52:36,080 --> 00:52:38,440
Speaker 1: just do this on your own so you don't have

1099
00:52:38,520 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 1: to worry about her rejecting the baby she wants him.

1100
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:44,439
Speaker 1: But man, what a crazy move on her part. Oh,

1101
00:52:44,760 --> 00:52:45,920
Speaker 1: in insane.

1102
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:49,360
Speaker 2: If she is just looking for like a baby daddy,

1103
00:52:49,760 --> 00:52:53,239
Speaker 2: for a donor, why go to this is such a

1104
00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 2: complicated situation. Go to a single dude. Yeah, that's like

1105
00:52:58,160 --> 00:52:58,879
Speaker 2: down that you.

1106
00:52:58,920 --> 00:53:01,600
Speaker 1: Like can but she's you know, it created the attachment

1107
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:06,080
Speaker 1: with this guy from work, you know, I guess feels comfortable. Yeah,

1108
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:08,319
Speaker 1: he didn't really stand up for me, but said that

1109
00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:10,080
Speaker 1: he didn't think I would do that. It was all

1110
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 1: very hard to read, But I feel better about my

1111
00:53:12,120 --> 00:53:14,840
Speaker 1: decision overall. By the way, if you want to feel

1112
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 1: better about your decision to spend more time with us,

1113
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,560
Speaker 1: oh god, he should listen to full episodes and stories

1114
00:53:21,040 --> 00:53:24,440
Speaker 1: just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

1115
00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 1: your favorite podcast app and search. Okay, storytime, there's another

1116
00:53:27,200 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: relevant update. But John, Yes, I feel like we're not

1117
00:53:30,800 --> 00:53:35,759
Speaker 1: quite getting away from the relationship with the speed that

1118
00:53:35,880 --> 00:53:36,600
Speaker 1: we may need.

1119
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, he like he is just I feel like there's

1120
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,400
Speaker 2: like a like a time and place in a relationship

1121
00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:47,320
Speaker 2: where the the trust of them kind of like caring

1122
00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:50,359
Speaker 2: for you, you know, is just like completely obliterated. And

1123
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:56,600
Speaker 2: he has He's obliterated it. Nuked it, just absolutely nuked it.

1124
00:53:56,800 --> 00:53:59,880
Speaker 2: And yeah, Op just needs it. And you know what,

1125
00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:02,000
Speaker 2: I think she's I think she's getting there and she's

1126
00:54:02,040 --> 00:54:05,000
Speaker 2: realizing she's coming out of out of like being non

1127
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 2: confrontational and not wanting to rock the boat. And I think, yeah, which.

1128
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:10,480
Speaker 1: Is good, Which is good. This is like character development

1129
00:54:10,520 --> 00:54:13,200
Speaker 1: at least one at least like on one side.

1130
00:54:13,280 --> 00:54:15,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, think, thank god she caught it before they had

1131
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,759
Speaker 2: imagine that they had a baby theat Oh my god,

1132
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:18,879
Speaker 2: So thank god it was caught.

1133
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,799
Speaker 1: Now, you know, we really speak on Wednesday. He checked

1134
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:23,120
Speaker 1: in a few times, but I let him know that

1135
00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:25,839
Speaker 1: we would talk Thursday. Thursday morning, he let me know

1136
00:54:25,920 --> 00:54:28,680
Speaker 1: that He turned into his letter of resignation Wednesday morning.

1137
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:31,399
Speaker 2: Basically being like, Hey, I'm gonna cut her off so hard.

1138
00:54:31,440 --> 00:54:31,960
Speaker 2: I'm quitting.

1139
00:54:32,440 --> 00:54:34,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he's trying. I think he knows how

1140
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:38,719
Speaker 1: massively heft up, and now he's like, like, I'm going

1141
00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 1: to lose my wife if I I don't think we

1142
00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:43,680
Speaker 1: have enough information to show that he's actually changed and

1143
00:54:43,760 --> 00:54:47,600
Speaker 1: is not manipulative. Yeah, but I do think he's trying

1144
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 1: to send a message to her like, hey, I'm choosing you.

1145
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:52,759
Speaker 1: I don't care about this woman, like I'm cutting her

1146
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:53,400
Speaker 1: out of my life.

1147
00:54:53,440 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 2: Even that though, it's just like just the stupidity of

1148
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:01,040
Speaker 2: like that's gotta be damaging to his his career, and

1149
00:55:01,080 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 2: that's also you know, the funny disability both of them.

1150
00:55:03,239 --> 00:55:03,880
Speaker 2: I don't know it's this.

1151
00:55:04,440 --> 00:55:06,640
Speaker 1: He hasn't heard from her, but doesn't intend to seek

1152
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:09,279
Speaker 1: her out to say goodbye either. He apologized he just

1153
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,040
Speaker 1: thought he was doing the right thing and thought this

1154
00:55:11,080 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 1: would make me happy. I still feel extremely betrayed. He

1155
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:17,240
Speaker 1: is dealing with loss and other things. We both agree

1156
00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:20,000
Speaker 1: that our communication is really deteriorated in the past year,

1157
00:55:20,000 --> 00:55:21,760
Speaker 1: and then we need to fix this. So no lawyer,

1158
00:55:22,239 --> 00:55:26,399
Speaker 1: no Jim is therapy for us. You know, I do

1159
00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:30,880
Speaker 1: think we went to some pretty crazy dark places. I

1160
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 1: will say he does feel like he's at least improving

1161
00:55:38,440 --> 00:55:41,320
Speaker 1: a little bit, and I do think going to therapy

1162
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:43,920
Speaker 1: is really important, and I do think she is taking

1163
00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,680
Speaker 1: back her power. Yes, I think like he's made her

1164
00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:51,160
Speaker 1: feel very powerless in this and I think we need

1165
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:53,880
Speaker 1: a I think we need a lot of therapy and

1166
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:59,040
Speaker 1: a lot of space to make this relationship work if

1167
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:05,120
Speaker 1: we even think it should. Yeah, hey, it's sam og host.

1168
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:07,160
Speaker 1: We're going to get back to these delectable stories. But

1169
00:56:07,280 --> 00:56:09,279
Speaker 1: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to help

1170
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:14,080
Speaker 1: support the show. My friend is financially irresponsible. I want

1171
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:16,600
Speaker 1: to cut him loose, cut them off. This comes from

1172
00:56:16,640 --> 00:56:19,720
Speaker 1: the Okay storytime suburn. The first time I wrote about

1173
00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:23,400
Speaker 1: this friend was my very first post on the old

1174
00:56:23,480 --> 00:56:27,960
Speaker 1: okop thread, and it got deleted with it. So I'll

1175
00:56:28,040 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: keep the same name for the friend Jay. His ex

1176
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: fiance and fiance both make appearances. They will be Ned

1177
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,200
Speaker 1: and Lee, respectively. The first time I loan Jay money

1178
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,320
Speaker 1: was over three years ago, when the agent who helped

1179
00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,480
Speaker 1: him come to China and connect him with the school

1180
00:56:44,640 --> 00:56:47,719
Speaker 1: suddenly demanded to be repaid in full. I don't know

1181
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,560
Speaker 1: the full story, but basically things were going to get

1182
00:56:49,680 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 1: ugly if Jay didn't come up with the money by

1183
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,480
Speaker 1: the end of the week. Like you know kneecap's broken?

1184
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:55,640
Speaker 1: Is that that kind of ugly? I decided to help

1185
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 1: out someone I thought was a friend of the time

1186
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 1: and took on the seventy eighth thousand, one time roughly

1187
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: eight thousand USD now closer to eleven thousand USD ya

1188
00:57:07,360 --> 00:57:09,200
Speaker 1: US government debt for him.

1189
00:57:09,400 --> 00:57:11,200
Speaker 2: Wow, that's crazy, bro.

1190
00:57:11,560 --> 00:57:13,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a lot of money, a lot of money.

1191
00:57:14,080 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from our very own.

1192
00:57:16,880 --> 00:57:18,360
Speaker 2: One done millennia.

1193
00:57:18,640 --> 00:57:22,000
Speaker 1: That's right, And if you want to submit your own stories,

1194
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,640
Speaker 1: go to the r slash okay story time subreddit. So

1195
00:57:26,320 --> 00:57:29,840
Speaker 1: after that, I would occasionally give him small loans here

1196
00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 1: and there to help with things like vet bills or

1197
00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:34,960
Speaker 1: help buy groceries for him and his cats, all while

1198
00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,960
Speaker 1: listening to his woes with his family and net. Family

1199
00:57:39,040 --> 00:57:41,000
Speaker 1: drama really started to ramp up a year and a

1200
00:57:41,040 --> 00:57:43,640
Speaker 1: half ago when his sister and dad passed away within

1201
00:57:43,760 --> 00:57:48,200
Speaker 1: months of each other from a heart attack. Oh it's rough,

1202
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 1: that's really hard. But that doesn't necessarily mean give him

1203
00:57:51,520 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: more money. You already gave him eight thousand to eleven

1204
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. The last summer, his son had a brain

1205
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 1: tumoral that his baby Mama hadn't told about for a month.

1206
00:58:01,920 --> 00:58:05,320
Speaker 1: So while back in South Africa, he got BM baby

1207
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: Mama to give up custody and his other sister is

1208
00:58:07,800 --> 00:58:10,160
Speaker 1: now taking care of him. Helped out with a lot

1209
00:58:10,160 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 1: of bills and other emergencies, including one of his two

1210
00:58:13,040 --> 00:58:15,840
Speaker 1: cats suddenly passing away that he wouldn't even this man

1211
00:58:16,120 --> 00:58:19,240
Speaker 1: he is a black cat. Man is the unluckiest dude ever.

1212
00:58:19,480 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 2: He's addicted to spending your money.

1213
00:58:21,240 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 1: I don't even believe all of these things are happening, Like,

1214
00:58:24,440 --> 00:58:26,480
Speaker 1: is man lying to you to get more money?

1215
00:58:26,680 --> 00:58:29,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is very suspicious. I can't lie so much.

1216
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:33,520
Speaker 1: Just terribleness anyway, including one of his two cats suddenly

1217
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,040
Speaker 1: passing away that he wouldn't even take to the vet

1218
00:58:36,120 --> 00:58:38,760
Speaker 1: until I gave him the money. That's suspicious. That came

1219
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:42,320
Speaker 1: up during this time and now the current total he

1220
00:58:42,440 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 1: owes me is one hundred and eighty thousand one almost

1221
00:58:46,640 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 1: twenty five thousand dollars. That's crazy, twenty five thousand dollars.

1222
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 2: It's a big load.

1223
00:58:52,800 --> 00:58:56,160
Speaker 1: Like I would be more okay giving someone twenty five

1224
00:58:56,280 --> 00:58:59,400
Speaker 1: K than loaning it. I feel like if you can't

1225
00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:03,600
Speaker 1: just lose that money, giving that it is a little spooky. Well, now,

1226
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:06,440
Speaker 1: some of it is interest for loaning him the money,

1227
00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:09,920
Speaker 1: but it's like I gave thirty five K forty eight

1228
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:13,160
Speaker 1: hundred USD, so please pay me back thirty seven K,

1229
00:59:13,360 --> 00:59:16,000
Speaker 1: five thousand USD. That he would agree to that kind

1230
00:59:16,040 --> 00:59:18,320
Speaker 1: of thing. Everywhere else to get loans would charge at

1231
00:59:18,400 --> 00:59:21,720
Speaker 1: least five times what I would ask, because again he

1232
00:59:21,840 --> 00:59:24,120
Speaker 1: was my friend. He would pay me back a couple

1233
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,880
Speaker 1: hundred or a few thousand yon here or there, but

1234
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 1: it was not consistent. And again, a couple hundred to

1235
00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:31,360
Speaker 1: a few thousand and one is like fifty to three

1236
00:59:31,400 --> 00:59:34,680
Speaker 1: hundred bucks, so like not much. I kept trying to

1237
00:59:34,720 --> 00:59:38,080
Speaker 1: give Jay ways to pay me back, including trying to

1238
00:59:38,080 --> 00:59:40,840
Speaker 1: help him find a better job. Supposedly his current school

1239
00:59:40,880 --> 00:59:43,120
Speaker 1: is nuts and keeps taking money from him, so one

1240
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:47,520
Speaker 1: to millennials literally like out here save in this guy.

1241
00:59:47,680 --> 00:59:49,800
Speaker 1: I've experienced with crazy schools in China, so I know

1242
00:59:49,840 --> 00:59:52,320
Speaker 1: it's plausible. But two years in a row I helped

1243
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,120
Speaker 1: him find better schools that would pay more, only for

1244
00:59:55,240 --> 00:59:58,800
Speaker 1: him to back down and stay at the crap school,

1245
00:59:59,040 --> 01:00:01,160
Speaker 1: to stay with the kid kids, in his word, do

1246
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 1: chores for me like walk my dogs. Oh when I

1247
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 1: am busy or clean my flat once a week. To

1248
01:00:06,440 --> 01:00:08,920
Speaker 1: start offsetting the car man would need to be your

1249
01:00:08,960 --> 01:00:12,400
Speaker 1: living butler for a year. Yeah for him to have

1250
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:15,600
Speaker 1: any chance of paying that off. He walked the dogs

1251
01:00:15,720 --> 01:00:20,000
Speaker 1: a grand total of two times and never clean the flat,

1252
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:22,240
Speaker 1: pet sit for me when I would go on vacation

1253
01:00:22,400 --> 01:00:24,320
Speaker 1: and last summer in addition to his son having a

1254
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 1: brain tumor, where he found out that Ned was cheating

1255
01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:30,880
Speaker 1: on him so they broke up. Man is a bad

1256
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 1: luck magnet.

1257
01:00:32,520 --> 01:00:34,800
Speaker 2: What's gonna be the next thing that he needs money for?

1258
01:00:35,040 --> 01:00:35,560
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1259
01:00:35,800 --> 01:00:38,840
Speaker 2: He was so upset about cheating that he slipped and

1260
01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 2: broke his foot. Yeah, now he can't fix his foot

1261
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 2: ye forever.

1262
01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 1: He needs surgery for a broken heart. It did not

1263
01:00:45,040 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 1: take long for him to meet Lee. Jay and Lee

1264
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 1: are apparently so in love that Lee is wanting to

1265
01:00:51,560 --> 01:00:54,160
Speaker 1: move to China to be with Jay. I see you.

1266
01:00:54,480 --> 01:00:57,040
Speaker 1: I think Jay is gonna need money for a Lee

1267
01:00:57,080 --> 01:00:59,360
Speaker 1: to come to China. That's a good I see you,

1268
01:01:00,000 --> 01:01:03,400
Speaker 1: but also trying to escape his toxic closet guard family

1269
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 1: that hate Jay. I figured Lee's paying his own way

1270
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:09,000
Speaker 1: to China. Have you not watched this show? At all

1271
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:12,920
Speaker 1: do not know the signs? Well, I figured Lee's paying

1272
01:01:12,960 --> 01:01:15,120
Speaker 1: for his own way to China and Jay's just helping

1273
01:01:15,160 --> 01:01:15,840
Speaker 1: with logistics.

1274
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:16,120
Speaker 2: But no.

1275
01:01:17,040 --> 01:01:20,320
Speaker 1: Turns out Jay had gotten a loan from someone else

1276
01:01:21,040 --> 01:01:23,200
Speaker 1: to pay for him to come to China, which is

1277
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 1: why he hadn't been paying me back for months. At least,

1278
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:28,040
Speaker 1: it's not you, but it's also taking money away from

1279
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 1: him being able to pay you.

1280
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:29,959
Speaker 2: Oh that's true.

1281
01:01:30,040 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 1: This all frustrated me to the point that I had

1282
01:01:32,280 --> 01:01:34,680
Speaker 1: enough and got a contract written up for him to

1283
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,600
Speaker 1: pay me back. At first, Jay said he wanted to

1284
01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 1: pay me back five ky on a month six hundred

1285
01:01:40,320 --> 01:01:42,280
Speaker 1: and eighty dollars to pay me back in three years,

1286
01:01:42,520 --> 01:01:45,120
Speaker 1: but then immediately said he wouldn't be able to pay

1287
01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 1: me the two summer months because of moving in summer vacation,

1288
01:01:49,000 --> 01:01:52,080
Speaker 1: so make sure that was in the contract. I decided

1289
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,200
Speaker 1: it would be better for him to pay me three

1290
01:01:54,320 --> 01:01:57,120
Speaker 1: K one four inner tenuus d a month over five

1291
01:01:57,200 --> 01:01:59,840
Speaker 1: years instead, so he could keep it consistent and make

1292
01:01:59,880 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 1: it habit, which honestly, I kind of like that. Get

1293
01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:03,360
Speaker 1: him in the habit of paying you.

1294
01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:05,800
Speaker 2: Just like we can lower it. But there should never

1295
01:02:05,840 --> 01:02:07,160
Speaker 2: be a month where it skips.

1296
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:10,920
Speaker 1: The only cash is that each month he misses a payment,

1297
01:02:11,280 --> 01:02:14,080
Speaker 1: the total he still owes me will get a point

1298
01:02:14,200 --> 01:02:17,920
Speaker 1: three percent increase, So there's a consequence for failure to

1299
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:20,640
Speaker 1: pay me back. We signed and I thought that we'd

1300
01:02:20,680 --> 01:02:22,600
Speaker 1: be that for the next five years, and he could

1301
01:02:22,640 --> 01:02:25,200
Speaker 1: pay me extra here and there if he had extra

1302
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:27,840
Speaker 1: to paydoff faster. It didn't take long for Jay to

1303
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:31,160
Speaker 1: ask for another loan. Feel like Jay should just ask

1304
01:02:31,160 --> 01:02:32,760
Speaker 1: for a loan from the bank to pay off OPI

1305
01:02:32,920 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 1: probably doesn't have the credit. Lee was arriving soon like

1306
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:37,840
Speaker 1: two days, and Jay realizes he has no money to

1307
01:02:37,880 --> 01:02:41,680
Speaker 1: host Lee, so he wants a separate twenty seven hundred

1308
01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:44,920
Speaker 1: dollars loan that he will pay me back a separate

1309
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:47,680
Speaker 1: two K a month on the side, so he can

1310
01:02:47,720 --> 01:02:50,280
Speaker 1: pay for everything while Lee's here in China. No, No,

1311
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 1: he already owes you so much money. Do not lend

1312
01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:55,000
Speaker 1: him more money. Please tell me you did not lend

1313
01:02:55,040 --> 01:02:57,080
Speaker 1: him more money. He even applies for a credit card,

1314
01:02:57,120 --> 01:02:59,760
Speaker 1: but then realizes the card charges a crazy amount on

1315
01:03:00,040 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 1: trust and mispayments, so cancels the application. Before I even

1316
01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:07,120
Speaker 1: respond to his text, I tell him no, good, Yes, finally,

1317
01:03:07,160 --> 01:03:09,240
Speaker 1: and he winds about how it may not be important

1318
01:03:09,280 --> 01:03:11,280
Speaker 1: to me, but it is important to him that Lee

1319
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:14,080
Speaker 1: be comfortable here, and he makes a good impression. You know,

1320
01:03:14,520 --> 01:03:17,280
Speaker 1: don't have Lee love you for your money. Have him

1321
01:03:17,400 --> 01:03:20,200
Speaker 1: love you for you and the massive amount of debt

1322
01:03:20,280 --> 01:03:22,400
Speaker 1: you have. Maybe he'll love you so much that'll pay

1323
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 1: it off. Even sends me two k in advance. I

1324
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:28,320
Speaker 1: think that's two thousand and one for the twenty thousand

1325
01:03:28,360 --> 01:03:31,560
Speaker 1: dollars loan. Basically, he wants to pay me two thousand

1326
01:03:31,920 --> 01:03:34,160
Speaker 1: for twenty thousand. The whole reason we have a contract

1327
01:03:34,320 --> 01:03:36,520
Speaker 1: for him to only pay me three k a month

1328
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:39,120
Speaker 1: was because he can't afford five km outh So he

1329
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 1: was planning to use a separate loan from me to

1330
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:44,320
Speaker 1: pay me back or something. How does that make sense?

1331
01:03:44,440 --> 01:03:46,480
Speaker 1: So it turns out Lee has no idea about Jay's

1332
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:48,600
Speaker 1: financial troubles, and Jay doesn't want him to find out.

1333
01:03:48,880 --> 01:03:50,960
Speaker 1: He tries to reapply for the credit card despite the

1334
01:03:50,960 --> 01:03:53,320
Speaker 1: downsides against my advice, and they tell him he has

1335
01:03:53,360 --> 01:03:55,680
Speaker 1: to wait three months before he can reapply, So he

1336
01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:58,160
Speaker 1: sells his PS four and I think a refrigerator or

1337
01:03:58,160 --> 01:03:59,840
Speaker 1: something so he can have funds.

1338
01:04:00,280 --> 01:04:04,000
Speaker 2: Lee also Dude, Jay is the first man in history

1339
01:04:04,440 --> 01:04:07,280
Speaker 2: to attempt to pull off a Ponzi scheme with only

1340
01:04:07,360 --> 01:04:11,160
Speaker 2: one person. He's literally like, hey, just give me another

1341
01:04:11,240 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 2: loan and he uses that loan to pay off the

1342
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,200
Speaker 2: other load and so on.

1343
01:04:15,520 --> 01:04:17,959
Speaker 1: Dude, I mean, hey, Jay is the Bernie made off

1344
01:04:18,080 --> 01:04:21,080
Speaker 1: Bernie one off. So he sells his PS four and

1345
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:23,640
Speaker 1: I think a refrigerator or something, so he has funds

1346
01:04:23,680 --> 01:04:26,080
Speaker 1: for Lee. Now, Lee and Jay's plan was that Lee

1347
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:27,880
Speaker 1: would come to China for the last three months of

1348
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:30,040
Speaker 1: Jay's work contract and they could go back to South

1349
01:04:30,080 --> 01:04:33,720
Speaker 1: Africa with what frickin' money Jay for the summer before

1350
01:04:33,760 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 1: both coming back to China to work. Problem. Lee doesn't

1351
01:04:37,160 --> 01:04:40,120
Speaker 1: have a college degree and Jay is convinced Lee needs

1352
01:04:40,120 --> 01:04:42,560
Speaker 1: one to get a visa. Spoiler he doesn't. I proved

1353
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:44,720
Speaker 1: it multiple times, but he isn't listening. So now the

1354
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:46,840
Speaker 1: plan is for Lee to go to college for a

1355
01:04:46,920 --> 01:04:50,440
Speaker 1: visa and then later get a job. Now where are

1356
01:04:50,520 --> 01:04:52,560
Speaker 1: they going to get the twenty k for Lee to

1357
01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:54,920
Speaker 1: go to college when Jay can't even come up with

1358
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:57,360
Speaker 1: twenty k to host Lee for three months. I did

1359
01:04:57,400 --> 01:04:59,600
Speaker 1: agree to meet Jay and Lee for dinner one evening

1360
01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:02,360
Speaker 1: to meet Lee, which is when I found out Jay

1361
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:06,160
Speaker 1: had gotten a puppy. Jay, you can't take care of yourself.

1362
01:05:06,280 --> 01:05:09,200
Speaker 1: My meet response was, why did you get a puppy?

1363
01:05:09,680 --> 01:05:11,080
Speaker 2: You have no money.

1364
01:05:11,400 --> 01:05:13,520
Speaker 1: Jay sent me an angry text about bringing up his

1365
01:05:13,600 --> 01:05:16,200
Speaker 1: financial problems in front of Lee because he doesn't know

1366
01:05:16,240 --> 01:05:19,240
Speaker 1: about it, maybe he should. So I responded with my

1367
01:05:19,280 --> 01:05:22,000
Speaker 1: own text about him being stupid and saying he is

1368
01:05:22,040 --> 01:05:24,440
Speaker 1: not stupid, but then I pointed out him getting a

1369
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:27,680
Speaker 1: dog he can't afford and not confiding his financial problems

1370
01:05:27,680 --> 01:05:30,840
Speaker 1: to his partner while trying to pay for everything is stupid.

1371
01:05:31,000 --> 01:05:33,440
Speaker 1: Now Jay again is looking for a loan and realizing

1372
01:05:33,560 --> 01:05:35,959
Speaker 1: everywhere asked for crazy interests on loan, so last week

1373
01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:39,960
Speaker 1: he was back begging me again. Also, it's very telling

1374
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:42,880
Speaker 1: that literally no one will give this guy money. So

1375
01:05:43,480 --> 01:05:45,440
Speaker 1: I am angry with him at this point and mostly

1376
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:48,320
Speaker 1: ignoring his texts. As Lee's current visa is almost up

1377
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:50,880
Speaker 1: and if they can't secure the college application, they will

1378
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:53,720
Speaker 1: both move back to South Africa because Lee can't stay

1379
01:05:53,760 --> 01:05:57,040
Speaker 1: and Jay won't abandon him in South Africa. I just

1380
01:05:57,160 --> 01:05:59,840
Speaker 1: asked if he will still be baying me back, Basically,

1381
01:06:00,600 --> 01:06:02,440
Speaker 1: do I need to take him to court, to which

1382
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:04,840
Speaker 1: he claims it will be his whole paycheck to pay

1383
01:06:04,880 --> 01:06:07,320
Speaker 1: me back from South Africa un till he can come

1384
01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,120
Speaker 1: back to China. He keeps sending me information about the

1385
01:06:10,160 --> 01:06:11,840
Speaker 1: college and why he needs me to pay for it,

1386
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:14,520
Speaker 1: and that I am childish for ignoring his text. Blah

1387
01:06:14,520 --> 01:06:18,320
Speaker 1: blah blah. You're childish for asking pocket money from your friend.

1388
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:21,760
Speaker 2: Literally, this is like a kid like eighteen or nineteen

1389
01:06:21,840 --> 01:06:23,640
Speaker 2: years old, Like, oh man, but like I have my

1390
01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:25,720
Speaker 2: new girlfriend. We're gonna like go on a trip together.

1391
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:27,560
Speaker 2: I just want to like buy them into some things.

1392
01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:31,000
Speaker 1: Please give me money, dad. It's also worth mentioning that

1393
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:34,200
Speaker 1: they did find out Lee could get a job in

1394
01:06:34,240 --> 01:06:36,600
Speaker 1: a smaller city, but Jay wants to stay in the

1395
01:06:36,600 --> 01:06:39,040
Speaker 1: big city, which is the real reason they can't go

1396
01:06:39,480 --> 01:06:42,720
Speaker 1: the route of both getting work visas. Now. Five days ago,

1397
01:06:43,080 --> 01:06:46,120
Speaker 1: I found five two week old kittens thrown in the

1398
01:06:46,200 --> 01:06:49,400
Speaker 1: trash in my neighborhood while walking my dogs. Had been

1399
01:06:49,480 --> 01:06:53,040
Speaker 1: very busy with very little sleep looking after essentially five

1400
01:06:53,160 --> 01:06:55,120
Speaker 1: infants that require me to wake up in the middle

1401
01:06:55,280 --> 01:06:57,640
Speaker 1: night for feeding and cleaning, and two days ago, one

1402
01:06:57,680 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 1: of the kittens was less energetic in the morning and

1403
01:06:59,720 --> 01:07:02,680
Speaker 1: wasn't eating like his siblings, and I immediately arranged to

1404
01:07:02,720 --> 01:07:04,920
Speaker 1: go to the vet that afternoon. The vet and I

1405
01:07:05,000 --> 01:07:07,760
Speaker 1: did everything we could, with me barely sleeping that night,

1406
01:07:08,080 --> 01:07:12,040
Speaker 1: but he still passed away six am that morning. So

1407
01:07:12,040 --> 01:07:14,760
Speaker 1: I'm currently not in a very good place, being sleep

1408
01:07:14,760 --> 01:07:17,360
Speaker 1: deprived and upset over losing one of the kittens. One

1409
01:07:17,400 --> 01:07:21,040
Speaker 1: done Millennial's heart is just so ridiculous. Sleep here, we

1410
01:07:21,080 --> 01:07:23,040
Speaker 1: need to pour back and one Done's cup. I wish

1411
01:07:23,040 --> 01:07:25,320
Speaker 1: one Done was here. This is such a bummer. Just

1412
01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:27,640
Speaker 1: know we wish you were here. But what does Jay

1413
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:32,240
Speaker 1: text me yesterday and this morning? Knowing all this allow

1414
01:07:32,320 --> 01:07:35,680
Speaker 1: me to write the text? So I don't misrepresent anything,

1415
01:07:35,920 --> 01:07:37,960
Speaker 1: but please igore my spelling and grammar sakes, I am

1416
01:07:38,080 --> 01:07:42,240
Speaker 1: very very tired. Yesterday nine twenty three, Jay, good morning.

1417
01:07:42,320 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 1: So good news is Lee got a thirty day extension

1418
01:07:45,120 --> 01:07:47,720
Speaker 1: and we have a second chance for the student option

1419
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:51,040
Speaker 1: if you can only help me please. And lastly, I

1420
01:07:51,120 --> 01:07:55,080
Speaker 1: might have someone who can adopt, but she only wants

1421
01:07:55,200 --> 01:07:58,640
Speaker 1: one nervous mochi nine to twenty four Me hold off

1422
01:07:58,640 --> 01:08:02,320
Speaker 1: on that one just passed away early this morning? Jay, Okay?

1423
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,840
Speaker 1: Can I tell her to wait or to look elsewhere

1424
01:08:05,320 --> 01:08:07,640
Speaker 1: meet unless she wants a cat not a kitten, or

1425
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:09,920
Speaker 1: she knows how to take care of three week old kitten.

1426
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:12,880
Speaker 1: Jay will ask her and let you know. Jay picture

1427
01:08:12,920 --> 01:08:15,640
Speaker 1: of least document. So I paid, Jay, So I paid

1428
01:08:15,640 --> 01:08:18,000
Speaker 1: two K to them now and now I'm only eighteen

1429
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:20,320
Speaker 1: k short. Please talk to me about it. I have

1430
01:08:20,360 --> 01:08:23,360
Speaker 1: no other options. The two k I got the part time?

1431
01:08:23,800 --> 01:08:26,160
Speaker 1: And why did the cat die? You have the vets?

1432
01:08:26,200 --> 01:08:29,040
Speaker 1: Contact the that you go to want to use him?

1433
01:08:29,120 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 1: Slash her for my dog vaccinations. Link's previous photo of

1434
01:08:32,640 --> 01:08:33,400
Speaker 1: lease document.

1435
01:08:33,640 --> 01:08:33,800
Speaker 2: Bro.

1436
01:08:34,439 --> 01:08:36,840
Speaker 1: This is one done millennial saying, Bro, just let me

1437
01:08:36,880 --> 01:08:39,120
Speaker 1: deal with this, which is a very polite way of

1438
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:40,439
Speaker 1: being like, here's a boundary.

1439
01:08:40,600 --> 01:08:42,880
Speaker 2: Stop bothering me, please.

1440
01:08:42,880 --> 01:08:45,080
Speaker 1: Jay, bad timing, I know, but don't have a choice.

1441
01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:47,960
Speaker 1: They need to start. That's the only reason Jay, I'm

1442
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:50,840
Speaker 1: at work on Sunday. Jay, I'm going to be passed away,

1443
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:53,000
Speaker 1: honest and straightforward with you. They need to start the

1444
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,800
Speaker 1: paperwork asap today because he got thirty days extra stand

1445
01:08:55,880 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 1: visa and my dead land is today. To just tell me, Jay,

1446
01:08:59,520 --> 01:09:01,519
Speaker 1: don't want to help you, or Jay, I will help you.

1447
01:09:01,640 --> 01:09:05,040
Speaker 1: Me going back to South Africa is a bad choice

1448
01:09:05,240 --> 01:09:07,840
Speaker 1: is working there will only pay you monthly, so that's

1449
01:09:07,840 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 1: why we tried our best to get thirty days extra

1450
01:09:10,160 --> 01:09:10,439
Speaker 1: so we.

1451
01:09:10,360 --> 01:09:10,800
Speaker 2: Can do this.

1452
01:09:11,200 --> 01:09:12,720
Speaker 1: I won't be angry if you say you don't want

1453
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:15,080
Speaker 1: to help me. Just say will you or won't you,

1454
01:09:15,560 --> 01:09:17,720
Speaker 1: so that I know if I'm screwed or not. I

1455
01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:19,960
Speaker 1: will struggle a lot to pay you back. From South Africa.

1456
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:23,280
Speaker 1: That's why we're doing this, so that he can study

1457
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:25,280
Speaker 1: and get a part time job to help me. And

1458
01:09:25,400 --> 01:09:29,080
Speaker 1: Jay response again, saying the eighteen k includes all these

1459
01:09:29,200 --> 01:09:32,240
Speaker 1: his police clearance, get it from South Africa, visa fees,

1460
01:09:32,280 --> 01:09:36,080
Speaker 1: travel for visa, two medicals, the university tuition, all the

1461
01:09:36,080 --> 01:09:40,200
Speaker 1: paperwork authentication. Jay sends again link to purchase kitten formula

1462
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:44,559
Speaker 1: and then today Jay, Morning, Jay, please respond as serious

1463
01:09:44,920 --> 01:09:47,800
Speaker 1: you're taking it, as if it's an ignoring game my

1464
01:09:47,960 --> 01:09:50,479
Speaker 1: future do the other cats make it? I feel like

1465
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:53,280
Speaker 1: he's like trying to talk about the cats just to

1466
01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:56,360
Speaker 1: win one town millennial over. It's so transparent, like it's

1467
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:58,080
Speaker 1: like he's so obviously doing.

1468
01:09:57,840 --> 01:09:59,960
Speaker 2: This, like, oh, hey, how's the cats at the vent?

1469
01:10:00,080 --> 01:10:01,759
Speaker 2: By the way, can I get the vega that money

1470
01:10:01,800 --> 01:10:04,400
Speaker 2: I need to get my dog vaccinated, and also can

1471
01:10:04,439 --> 01:10:05,479
Speaker 2: you give me all this money?

1472
01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:09,040
Speaker 1: Me, it's not my responsibility helping you out till now

1473
01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:11,599
Speaker 1: without a kindness, but you have been taking advantage of that.

1474
01:10:12,000 --> 01:10:15,240
Speaker 1: You shouldn't have a dog, paying for your fiance to

1475
01:10:15,280 --> 01:10:19,120
Speaker 1: come to China before preparing everything, buying outfits you don't need, like,

1476
01:10:19,160 --> 01:10:21,000
Speaker 1: come on, I don't think you know what it's like

1477
01:10:21,040 --> 01:10:23,639
Speaker 1: to be poor and needing to prioritize, slash figure out.

1478
01:10:24,000 --> 01:10:27,519
Speaker 1: I've slept the park benches, begged for food whole nine yards,

1479
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:29,559
Speaker 1: which is why I have a lot of empathy. I'm

1480
01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:32,920
Speaker 1: also currently extremely tired from taking care of weeks old

1481
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:35,680
Speaker 1: kittens and you trying to take advantage of me. I know,

1482
01:10:35,760 --> 01:10:39,080
Speaker 1: he says not to mention the times. I've also tried

1483
01:10:39,080 --> 01:10:41,479
Speaker 1: to help you find a better job, but you turned

1484
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:44,280
Speaker 1: it down for your via school twice, so that was

1485
01:10:44,320 --> 01:10:46,680
Speaker 1: your decision to make less money. I haven't gotten a

1486
01:10:46,720 --> 01:10:49,280
Speaker 1: response yet, but it's only been two hours, so I

1487
01:10:49,320 --> 01:10:51,960
Speaker 1: am the childish one or the a hole or whatever.

1488
01:10:52,000 --> 01:10:54,400
Speaker 1: Constant is the bad guy here or does Jane need

1489
01:10:54,400 --> 01:10:57,559
Speaker 1: to be cut loose to figure his crap outs? And

1490
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:01,599
Speaker 1: op has an update on any advice you.

1491
01:11:01,560 --> 01:11:03,200
Speaker 2: Know, like she said, She's like, hey, a lot of empathy.

1492
01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:05,280
Speaker 2: I've been in a bad situation before, but I think

1493
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:09,559
Speaker 2: she finally has reached the breaking point and is saying

1494
01:11:09,680 --> 01:11:13,439
Speaker 2: in no uncertain terms like, hey, you're not gonna do this, bro,

1495
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:18,120
Speaker 2: just have like one molecule of tact with dealing with this.

1496
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:20,439
Speaker 2: You're fumbling your own bag, but you know what, for

1497
01:11:20,479 --> 01:11:22,519
Speaker 2: the better, because I think this is the point where

1498
01:11:22,560 --> 01:11:24,920
Speaker 2: that made one to realize I can't do this anymore.

1499
01:11:25,040 --> 01:11:28,000
Speaker 1: Agreed, But we do have an update. I've never done

1500
01:11:28,000 --> 01:11:29,840
Speaker 1: an update, so no idea how you do this. But

1501
01:11:29,880 --> 01:11:31,679
Speaker 1: I finally looked at the text he sent me three

1502
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:33,680
Speaker 1: hours after my last text. But here they are. So

1503
01:11:33,680 --> 01:11:37,240
Speaker 1: we got some more texts. Jay, you have no idea

1504
01:11:37,280 --> 01:11:39,439
Speaker 1: what I went through, So please don't talk about things

1505
01:11:39,439 --> 01:11:42,040
Speaker 1: you know nothing about, Jay, and about the cats, I'm

1506
01:11:42,040 --> 01:11:44,240
Speaker 1: trying to help. You keep turning me down, so that's

1507
01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:47,000
Speaker 1: on you. You don't always know best op when it comes

1508
01:11:47,040 --> 01:11:48,720
Speaker 1: to animals. I'm pretty good because they grew up on

1509
01:11:48,720 --> 01:11:52,080
Speaker 1: a farm. So trust more, Jay, I don't take advantage.

1510
01:11:52,080 --> 01:11:53,840
Speaker 1: I'm asking for help because you're the only person on

1511
01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:56,519
Speaker 1: earth I trust enough to ask for help that doesn't

1512
01:11:56,600 --> 01:11:59,519
Speaker 1: judge All texts are written exactly and scent as received,

1513
01:11:59,520 --> 01:12:01,519
Speaker 1: so this is how he writes. He is from South

1514
01:12:01,560 --> 01:12:04,600
Speaker 1: Africa and his native language is Afrikaans, but he is

1515
01:12:04,600 --> 01:12:07,559
Speaker 1: an English teacher so speaks in English. Anyway, After finally

1516
01:12:07,640 --> 01:12:09,679
Speaker 1: reading those insane texts, I may have kind of lost

1517
01:12:09,680 --> 01:12:13,040
Speaker 1: it and sent this nice little wall of text back.

1518
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:15,280
Speaker 1: So let's see what one then said. I don't know

1519
01:12:15,520 --> 01:12:18,280
Speaker 1: what you've been through. You claim you went through all

1520
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:19,960
Speaker 1: these hard things, but you have no idea how to

1521
01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:23,240
Speaker 1: budget or prioritize funds, which every poor person who's had

1522
01:12:23,280 --> 01:12:27,160
Speaker 1: real financial difficulty learns how to do. And as for

1523
01:12:27,240 --> 01:12:29,400
Speaker 1: helping the cats, what have you really done other than

1524
01:12:29,439 --> 01:12:32,280
Speaker 1: send a single potential family to adopt that fell through

1525
01:12:32,320 --> 01:12:34,680
Speaker 1: and send me a link for kitten formula that I

1526
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:38,599
Speaker 1: already have, and of asking for twenty thousand one yon

1527
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:41,120
Speaker 1: loan for the second time in less than two months

1528
01:12:41,200 --> 01:12:44,320
Speaker 1: after signing a contract for the original one hundred and

1529
01:12:44,400 --> 01:12:47,320
Speaker 1: eighty thousand and one that we agreed you would pay

1530
01:12:47,400 --> 01:12:49,559
Speaker 1: three K a month on because some months you can't

1531
01:12:49,560 --> 01:12:52,800
Speaker 1: pay five K. Isn't taking advantage of me? That I

1532
01:12:52,960 --> 01:12:57,639
Speaker 1: honestly don't know? What is? Were you planning to use

1533
01:12:57,640 --> 01:12:59,439
Speaker 1: a new loan to make it look like you were

1534
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:02,160
Speaker 1: paying back the original loan or something. Plus sending me

1535
01:13:02,200 --> 01:13:04,000
Speaker 1: two K to prove you will pay back the twenty

1536
01:13:04,080 --> 01:13:06,080
Speaker 1: k loan is just nuts. And if I have to

1537
01:13:06,120 --> 01:13:08,360
Speaker 1: explain why that, I have no words for you. I

1538
01:13:08,439 --> 01:13:12,559
Speaker 1: honestly am not sure you can be friends again with

1539
01:13:12,600 --> 01:13:14,639
Speaker 1: me until you have nearly paid off your loan because

1540
01:13:14,680 --> 01:13:19,360
Speaker 1: I'm so angry with you and your irresponsible spending. I

1541
01:13:19,400 --> 01:13:23,840
Speaker 1: am not an ATM sound off. One done, lay down

1542
01:13:23,960 --> 01:13:29,240
Speaker 1: the down off. But we got another update from again

1543
01:13:29,640 --> 01:13:34,360
Speaker 1: an Okase story Time fam a part of the community.

1544
01:13:34,360 --> 01:13:37,760
Speaker 1: One done millennial. Here's update. Well, if I thought we'd

1545
01:13:37,840 --> 01:13:40,120
Speaker 1: ever be able to be friends again, that went out

1546
01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:43,479
Speaker 1: the window, and I'm now looking for a lawyer in China.

1547
01:13:43,680 --> 01:13:45,799
Speaker 1: Here was his response that I will not be responding

1548
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:49,200
Speaker 1: to until I have secured a lawyer. Yes, I have

1549
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:53,559
Speaker 1: collected screenshots in addition to the contract at this point.

1550
01:13:53,600 --> 01:13:57,839
Speaker 1: By the way, if you want to screenshot this message

1551
01:13:57,920 --> 01:14:00,640
Speaker 1: right now because you want more story like this, you

1552
01:14:00,680 --> 01:14:03,160
Speaker 1: can listen to full stories just like this one and

1553
01:14:03,200 --> 01:14:06,080
Speaker 1: go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcast app

1554
01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:09,800
Speaker 1: and search Okay, Storytime, there's another relevant update and a

1555
01:14:09,880 --> 01:14:13,040
Speaker 1: response from Jay that I think will seal the end

1556
01:14:13,080 --> 01:14:15,639
Speaker 1: of this friendship. John, what advice do we have?

1557
01:14:16,320 --> 01:14:19,920
Speaker 2: Run one done, run, that's my advice, and you're doing it.

1558
01:14:20,120 --> 01:14:22,400
Speaker 1: Shout out for one to millennial for putting that freaking

1559
01:14:22,840 --> 01:14:23,679
Speaker 1: barrier down.

1560
01:14:24,120 --> 01:14:26,439
Speaker 2: I will say, and maybe this is just a total

1561
01:14:26,479 --> 01:14:29,880
Speaker 2: lost cause, but trying to figure out how you can

1562
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:33,400
Speaker 2: get some of the money back but still lay down

1563
01:14:33,439 --> 01:14:36,120
Speaker 2: those boundaries and everything. I think from everything you're saying,

1564
01:14:36,120 --> 01:14:38,600
Speaker 2: it's like, you know, not worth it, But hopefully we

1565
01:14:38,640 --> 01:14:40,360
Speaker 2: can lay it down and get some peace in a

1566
01:14:40,400 --> 01:14:42,559
Speaker 2: way where we still recover as much as we can.

1567
01:14:42,720 --> 01:14:46,400
Speaker 1: But Jay response, firstly, you call this ungrateful, saying I

1568
01:14:46,439 --> 01:14:48,240
Speaker 1: only did this once and it failed, and this and

1569
01:14:48,280 --> 01:14:51,360
Speaker 1: that you were ungrateful, and once again saying I sent

1570
01:14:51,439 --> 01:14:54,760
Speaker 1: you a link to something you have also very ungrateful.

1571
01:14:55,280 --> 01:14:58,640
Speaker 1: You can say thank you. I can't smell if you

1572
01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:01,639
Speaker 1: have this. I don't want to use the new loan

1573
01:15:01,960 --> 01:15:03,840
Speaker 1: to make it look like anything. I wanted to pay

1574
01:15:03,880 --> 01:15:06,840
Speaker 1: both each month, obviously paying the smaller one off first.

1575
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:09,519
Speaker 1: For someone pretending to know everything, that's not a very

1576
01:15:09,520 --> 01:15:13,639
Speaker 1: good statement. I wouldn't have asked for nonsense this would

1577
01:15:13,640 --> 01:15:15,559
Speaker 1: have helped me so much. But you will to understand

1578
01:15:15,560 --> 01:15:18,160
Speaker 1: people with one sided mimes when it comes to relationship

1579
01:15:18,400 --> 01:15:21,200
Speaker 1: won't understand. I am also angry with you now because

1580
01:15:21,240 --> 01:15:24,200
Speaker 1: you think you know everything and I hate ungrateful people.

1581
01:15:24,400 --> 01:15:27,760
Speaker 1: And please don't make me explain to you what ungrateful is.

1582
01:15:28,240 --> 01:15:31,360
Speaker 1: And that's exactly the attitude you gave. So yes, I agree.

1583
01:15:31,439 --> 01:15:33,280
Speaker 1: I think it's best not to be friends. Just send

1584
01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:35,519
Speaker 1: me your bank account number or in case I need

1585
01:15:35,560 --> 01:15:40,439
Speaker 1: to pay directly to the bank. Someday thanks someday.

1586
01:15:40,680 --> 01:15:41,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's gone. It's over.

1587
01:15:42,240 --> 01:15:44,280
Speaker 1: But at least you don't have a mood frend anymore.

1588
01:15:44,439 --> 01:15:46,479
Speaker 1: No friend is better than a mood friend. That is

1589
01:15:46,560 --> 01:15:48,719
Speaker 1: my greatest pet peeve. When you pay for a steak

1590
01:15:48,840 --> 01:15:50,720
Speaker 1: when they say they're gonna enimiliar snakes in the.

1591
01:15:50,640 --> 01:15:54,400
Speaker 2: Grass, snake's not paying for steaks. Well, that is where

1592
01:15:54,439 --> 01:15:55,439
Speaker 2: that story ends.