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Speaker 1: This is Let's Be Clear with Shannon Dohrney. Hi, Let's

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Speaker 1: be clear, listeners. My name is doctor Tiffany Moon. You

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Speaker 1: might know me from the Real Housewives of Dallas on

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Speaker 1: Bravo TV, but I'm also a board certified anesthesiologist, entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: and mother of twins. I came to this country in

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Speaker 1: nineteen ninety at the ripe age of six, and I

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Speaker 1: remember sneak watching Beverly Hills nine oh two one zero

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Speaker 1: when my parents were running errands and I was home alone.

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Speaker 1: I remember watching Shannon, and like many of you, I

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Speaker 1: really admired how vocal she was about the things that

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Speaker 1: she believed in. And I'm very humbled to be hosting

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Speaker 1: this episode of Let's Be Clear. I hope that my

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Speaker 1: message connects with you in a meaningful way and then

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Speaker 1: I'm able to help you bring a little bit more

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Speaker 1: joy into your life. Today, I want to focus on

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Speaker 1: some thing that I'm passionate about, which is what joy

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Speaker 1: means to me, and how I stopped trying to live

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Speaker 1: a life that was perfect and by checking off all

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Speaker 1: the boxes, and instead live a life filled with gratitude, connection,

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Speaker 1: and laughter, which are the things that bring me joy.

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Speaker 1: I even wrote a book about my entire joy journey.

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Speaker 1: It's called Joy Prescriptions and is out on Bay six.

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Speaker 1: To start off, I want to give you guys a

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Speaker 1: little bit of background about myself because I think much

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Speaker 1: of what we think about the world, our mindset, and

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Speaker 1: the way we move throughout the world, is structured by

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Speaker 1: how our childhood was. For me, childhood was a turbulent

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Speaker 1: time because my parents left me in China when I

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Speaker 1: was three years old to come to America. Back then,

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Speaker 1: in communist nineteen eighties China, you basically couldn't get out

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Speaker 1: unless you had a student visa, and so because my

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Speaker 1: parents were both academically gifted, they were able to obtain

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Speaker 1: student visas to come and study in America, but both

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Speaker 1: going to school full time, they thought that having a

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Speaker 1: toddler in tow probably wasn't a good idea, so they

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Speaker 1: left me in China with my maternal grandparents. So from

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Speaker 1: the age of three until six, I didn't really know

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Speaker 1: my parents. Again, this was in the nineteen eighties. The

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Speaker 1: internet was not a thing. We didn't really even have

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Speaker 1: a telephone for me to hear my parent's voice. Twice

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Speaker 1: a year, an envelope would appear and inside would be

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Speaker 1: a printed out photo of my parents at the mall

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Speaker 1: standing in front of a Christmas tree. I had no

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Speaker 1: concept what that was. And one day, when I was

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Speaker 1: six years old, my grandma told me, your parents are

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Speaker 1: ready to accept you in America. And I thought, oh,

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Speaker 1: my parents, Oh yeah, those people. I kind of forgot

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Speaker 1: about them because when you're a child, you sort of

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Speaker 1: take every day for face value. You don't really worry

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Speaker 1: or have anxiety. That's part of the beauty of being

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Speaker 1: a child. And she said, well, your mom and dad

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Speaker 1: are ready for you to come to America now. So

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Speaker 1: we drove to the airport in Beijing, because we lived

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Speaker 1: in a small city outside of Beijing, and I got

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Speaker 1: put on an airplane by myself at the age of

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Speaker 1: six to go to JFK Airport, where when I got

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Speaker 1: off the plane, my mom and dad were waiting for

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Speaker 1: me at the gate. I knew they were my mom

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Speaker 1: and dad because I had seen multiple pictures of them,

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Speaker 1: and I had a slight recollection of these people, but

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Speaker 1: again I had not seen them since I was three

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Speaker 1: years old, which was half my life at that point.

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Speaker 1: So they took me back to their apartment in Queens

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Speaker 1: and put me in first grade in the middle of

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Speaker 1: the school year, and I knew not a lick of English,

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Speaker 1: like not even hello or Hi. I had never heard

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Speaker 1: anyone speak English ever before. It's not like now where

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Speaker 1: you travel internationally and even at the hotel in Beijing

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Speaker 1: or Shanghai, there's like a few American channels or something. No,

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Speaker 1: back then, there was nothing. So I don't want to

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Speaker 1: talk too much about my childhood, but the reason I

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Speaker 1: want to share this with you is that you know

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Speaker 1: I had a lot of abandonment issues as a child.

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Speaker 1: We continued to move every one or two years throughout

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Speaker 1: my childhood. Every time my mom or dad got a

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Speaker 1: slightly better job, we'd moved to a slightly nicer apartment.

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Speaker 1: I finally got my own room when I was ten

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Speaker 1: yearsyears old. So at the apartment, we'd always get a

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Speaker 1: one bedroom apartment and my parents would have the bedroom,

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Speaker 1: and my quote unquote room would in essence be the

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Speaker 1: living room where a mattress lay on the floor. That

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Speaker 1: was my room. But when we were ten years old,

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Speaker 1: my dad got a new job and we were able

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Speaker 1: to afford a home, a freestanding home with a two

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Speaker 1: car garage and a backyard and I got my own

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Speaker 1: room for the very first time. So that is like

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Speaker 1: one of my core memories throughout my childhood. I would

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Speaker 1: say the name of the game was about academic success, achievement, UIL,

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Speaker 1: math competitions, spelling bees, making a's. I distinctly remember bringing

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Speaker 1: home a ninety six on a math test, and I

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Speaker 1: remember being berated by my father for not getting one hundred.

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Speaker 1: I had missed I think two questions, and he went

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Speaker 1: and got the thick stack of math sheets that he

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Speaker 1: had for me and gave me ten extra sheets that night,

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Speaker 1: and he said, next time you have a question like this,

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Speaker 1: you're not going to miss it, because you're going to

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Speaker 1: do ten pages of it right now. That was the

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Speaker 1: environment I grew up in. I didn't know that you

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Speaker 1: could grow up differently. I started to make a few

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Speaker 1: friends in middle school, but again we moved every one

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Speaker 1: or two years, so it was hard to keep friends,

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Speaker 1: and I basically found solace in reading and doing extra

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Speaker 1: math worksheets. Because of this, I ended up finishing the

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Speaker 1: curriculum early and going to college at the age of fifteen.

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Speaker 1: So I left my parents' house. I went and moved

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Speaker 1: into a dorm with a roommate who remains my best

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Speaker 1: friend to this very day, even though she now lives

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Speaker 1: in Dubai. I started dating a boy that was college

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Speaker 1: aged even though I was fifteen, because I was in

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Speaker 1: college hanging out with college people, and it really was

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Speaker 1: like my life opened up. I had no idea that

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Speaker 1: other people didn't do ten sheets of math work a night.

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Speaker 1: I had never been on a sleepover in my entire life,

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Speaker 1: and now I was in the dorm like basically having

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Speaker 1: the sleepover that never ended. So it was I opening

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Speaker 1: in a lot of ways, not only academically, but I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm matured a lot during that time. So

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Speaker 1: I ended up finishing college when I was nineteen. I

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Speaker 1: did not take a gap year. I asked my dad

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Speaker 1: if I could take a gap year to take a

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Speaker 1: little bit more time to study for the MCAT and

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Speaker 1: to do a semester abroad in Europe because there was

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Speaker 1: a program that Cornell had with another school and you

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Speaker 1: basically exchanged. And he said absolutely not. What could you

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Speaker 1: possibly learn in another country that you can't learn here?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, I think a lot, like different culture,

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Speaker 1: different people, you know. But I was like no, no, no, Daddy,

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Speaker 1: you're right. I'm sorry I asked. I was stupid. So

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Speaker 1: went through college, graduated from Cornell when I was nineteen,

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Speaker 1: went straight into medical school, graduated when I was twenty three,

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Speaker 1: went straight into residency. Was twenty eight years old when

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Speaker 1: I graduated from residency, got married the same year, had

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Speaker 1: about of infertility, and basically had my twins about two

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Speaker 1: years after I got married. So you're like, why is

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Speaker 1: she telling us her whole life story. I'm telling you

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Speaker 1: because it took me a really long time to realize

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Speaker 1: that life is not a series of checking off the boxes,

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Speaker 1: and that if, by chance, you happened to check off

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Speaker 1: everything on this arbitrary checklist, it still doesn't bring you joy.

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Speaker 1: I know this because I got to the point that

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Speaker 1: I thought I had checked off all the boxes that

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Speaker 1: I just listed for you, and I felt completely empty inside.

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Speaker 1: I did not know who I was, I did not

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Speaker 1: know what I liked. All I knew is that I

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Speaker 1: felt good when I helped other people. I felt good

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Speaker 1: when I was praised. I felt good when I was needed,

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Speaker 1: and that was generally when I felt good. I was

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Speaker 1: take the money that I earned from being a doctor

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Speaker 1: and buy lots of pretty, pretty things to soothe myself.

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Speaker 1: I have a affinity for luxury handbags, shoes, clothes, jewelry,

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Speaker 1: nice sparkly things. I think when you grow up in

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Speaker 1: an environment of scarcity and you really have nothing, I

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Speaker 1: mean my entire childhood, I remember all of our items

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Speaker 1: that we had were either from garage sales or from goodwill.

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Speaker 1: I never had any new clothes or shoes. My family

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Speaker 1: never took a vacation. I mean, we scrimped and saved.

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Speaker 1: And I think now that I have means, I'm still

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Speaker 1: never wasteful. You know, I still love a good deal.

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Speaker 1: I think, you know, when you grow up poor, there's

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Speaker 1: something inside you where you always remember what it's like

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Speaker 1: not to have. And so I thought that when I

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Speaker 1: had money and I was able to buy things and

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Speaker 1: go on vacation and buy a dress without even looking

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Speaker 1: at the price tag, I mean, I just thought that

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Speaker 1: that would be the epitome of what success meant. And

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Speaker 1: even though those things are nice, it didn't fulfill me.

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Speaker 1: I was looking for joy in all the wrong places,

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Speaker 1: because joy does not come from achievements and checking off

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Speaker 1: the boxes and Chanel handbags and burkins. It just doesn't.

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Speaker 1: But I think many people still think it does. And

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Speaker 1: the joy that we sometimes chase in our day to

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Speaker 1: day life is not the joy that I want to

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Speaker 1: encourage you to cultivate. So there's three things that I

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Speaker 1: did on my journey to joy that I'll share with

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Speaker 1: you and you can consider doing. This was about the

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Speaker 1: time that I went on Real Housewives because two of

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Speaker 1: the worst and best things happened to me all at

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Speaker 1: once in the year twenty twenty. COVID happened, and I

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Speaker 1: filmed for Real Housewives of Dallas. These are both wonderful things,

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Speaker 1: and they are both terrible things, but they both made

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Speaker 1: me grow a lot. COVID was the thing that kind

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Speaker 1: of drove my anxiety over the edge of the cliff.

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Speaker 1: As a baseline anxious person who jokes around that I

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Speaker 1: worry for a living, I chose a career in which

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Speaker 1: it's quite literally my job to worry about my patients.

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Speaker 1: And what I mean by that is every day I

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Speaker 1: go into the operating room at six forty five AM,

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Speaker 1: and I pull up a bunch of drugs and open

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Speaker 1: a bunch of equipment that I may or may not

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Speaker 1: use that day, but it's just in case. A lot

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Speaker 1: of my job is looking at a patient's comorbiditis, level

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Speaker 1: of risk, the type of surgery they're having, and then

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Speaker 1: trying to in my best guess see how they're going

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Speaker 1: to do and pull up the drugs according to what

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Speaker 1: I think might happen during surgery. For some patients who

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Speaker 1: are healthy and undergoing ankle or knee surgery, I do

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Speaker 1: not call for blood to be in the room. It's

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Speaker 1: likely not necessary. When I have a octagenarian who has

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Speaker 1: heart failure coming in for a vascular surgery, or they

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Speaker 1: have lung cancer and we're doing lung surgery, I most

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Speaker 1: likely do have blood in the room because there's a

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Speaker 1: high likelihood I'm going to be transfusing that patient. So

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Speaker 1: I'm an anxious person at baseline, my job rewards me

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Speaker 1: for my anxiety. And then COVID happened and I just

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Speaker 1: lost it. I thought if this might be the end

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Speaker 1: of the world, which in early twenty twenty it certainly

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Speaker 1: seemed like it could be. How have I lived my life? Like?

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Speaker 1: Where has my joy been? I've been such a good girl,

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Speaker 1: I've checked all the boxes. But why do I still

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Speaker 1: feel like a shell of a person or a zombie

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Speaker 1: just going through the motions and if this is the

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Speaker 1: end of the world, Did I do it right? And truthfully,

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Speaker 1: the answer was no. I wished that I had gone

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Speaker 1: back and made deeper connections with people. I wish that

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Speaker 1: I had gone to my friends. My best friend from

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Speaker 1: the college program, her name's Vanessa, who now lives in Dubai.

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Speaker 1: When she graduated from business school. I did not attend

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Speaker 1: her graduation because I was studying for finals for medical school.

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Speaker 1: You know. Her commencement in May was the week before

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Speaker 1: my finals of third year of medical school. And I

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Speaker 1: didn't go because I needed to study so that I

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Speaker 1: could get an A, so that I could graduate with honors,

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Speaker 1: so that I I could get into the best antithesiology

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Speaker 1: residency program in the country. And I missed my best

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Speaker 1: friend's graduation from business school. Like that is so shitty.

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Speaker 1: Like I wish I had gone, but I didn't, you know.

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Speaker 1: I wished that I didn't listen to my dad and

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Speaker 1: I had gone to Europe and studied abroad for a

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Speaker 1: semester and taken a foreign lover, you know, Like I

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Speaker 1: wished I did all those things, but I didn't because

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Speaker 1: I was like one track mind. In my book, I

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Speaker 1: tell the story of going to the Kentucky Derby with

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Speaker 1: a girlfriend of mine, and I don't know anything about

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Speaker 1: horses or horse racing, nor do I now, but I

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Speaker 1: thought it was a good event. I could wear a

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Speaker 1: cute outfit and buy one of those super huge hats

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Speaker 1: that you wear, so I went for the fashion. And

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Speaker 1: she pointed out to me that the horses during the

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Speaker 1: race were these things on its head called blinders, and

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Speaker 1: the purpose of the blinders is to prevent the horse

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Speaker 1: from looking peripherally for even a tenth of a millisecond

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Speaker 1: so that it maintains its eyesight on the finish line

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Speaker 1: and wins the Kentucky Derby. And when she told me

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Speaker 1: this story and we were drinking our mint jewel ups,

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Speaker 1: I just in that second I was like, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: it's It's a metaphor for my life. Like I'm one

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Speaker 1: of these race horses that has blinders on, and I've

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Speaker 1: literally been so singularly focused on the finish line that

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Speaker 1: i haven't had a chance to look around and to

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Speaker 1: smell the proverbial roses, so to speak. So COVID happened,

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Speaker 1: Real Housewives happened. I became an accidental social media influencer

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Speaker 1: that was not planned, and all of these things I

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Speaker 1: believe would not have happened if I didn't hit that

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Speaker 1: rock bottom time during early COVID, when I thought that

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Speaker 1: the world was ending and I had not lived my

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Speaker 1: life fully. I love doctor Brene Brown. She's a fellow

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Speaker 1: Texas girl like me. She does a lot of research

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Speaker 1: about shame and vulnerability and leading courageously. And in one

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Speaker 1: of her books she talks about foreboding joy and I

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Speaker 1: was like, what the hell does that mean? Foreboding joy is, basically,

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Speaker 1: how do I say it, not being able to live

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Speaker 1: in the present moment and enjoy the abundance of everything

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Speaker 1: your life has to offer because you're afraid of what

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Speaker 1: might happen in the future. And she I think she

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Speaker 1: was on OPRAH, and she was talking about a client

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Speaker 1: patient of hers, an older gentleman, and he had been

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Speaker 1: practicing foreboding joy because his wife had been ill or

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Speaker 1: something like that, and he didn't want to feel too

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Speaker 1: deeply with her because she was going to pass, and

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Speaker 1: so he, I guess, kept his distance and then she

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Speaker 1: did pass, and he said it did absolutely nothing for me.

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Speaker 1: Dress rehearsing tragedy when it actually happened did absolutely nothing

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Speaker 1: for me. So what I learned from that is, don't

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Speaker 1: do it, don't dress rehearse tragedy, like live your life

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Speaker 1: to the fullest. Yes, there are bad things going on

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Speaker 1: in the world. Yes people can be incredibly cruel and unkind,

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Speaker 1: but you don't have to subscribe to that. Like we

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Speaker 1: can all do our little part on this earth to

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Speaker 1: try to make an impact in someone else's day. And generally,

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Speaker 1: when I'm leaving the hospital at the end of a day,

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Speaker 1: I know that I made a difference in someone else's life,

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Speaker 1: for sure. But on days that I wasn't in the hospital,

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Speaker 1: I felt a little bit lost because all my life

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Speaker 1: I had been equating my worthiness with achievement and success

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Speaker 1: and subsequently then earning money. And you know, I bought

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Speaker 1: my parents a car, I bought my parents a house.

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Speaker 1: I would pay for dinner every time we went out.

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Speaker 1: And that's how how I felt my worthiness as a human,

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Speaker 1: as a doctor, as a daughter. And slowly, over the

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Speaker 1: last few years, I've had to peel away my worthiness

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Speaker 1: from achievement because, like my friend doctor Judith Joseph says, Tiffany,

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Speaker 1: we are human beings, we are not human doings. She said,

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Speaker 1: tell me this. Do you love your dogs, do you

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Speaker 1: love your children? Do you love your husband? I said,

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Speaker 1: of course, these are like my inner circle, Like you know,

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Speaker 1: if I had a time capsule and could preserve these people,

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Speaker 1: like for all eternity, these are the people I would

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Speaker 1: want to always be with. And she said, do you

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Speaker 1: love them all because they do so much for you?

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Speaker 1: And I was like, well, no, the dogs don't do

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Speaker 1: much of anything except the one that's a protection dog.

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Speaker 1: The other two like literally do nothing all day. My

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Speaker 1: husband does things for me, but that's not why I

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Speaker 1: love him. I love him because he's kind and generous

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Speaker 1: and funny and allows me to be my crazy self.

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Speaker 1: And of course I love my children because they're sweet

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Speaker 1: and curious and creative and crazy. And she was like, right,

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Speaker 1: so why is it that you love people because of

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Speaker 1: you know, all the things that you just said, But

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Speaker 1: you only let people love you because of what you

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Speaker 1: can do for them. And I was like, uh, like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I just I feel, you know. She's like,

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Speaker 1: do you think your friends like you because of what

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Speaker 1: you do for them? And I said some of them actually, yes, yes,

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Speaker 1: And she's like, well, you need to get rid of

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Speaker 1: those friends. I said, Okay, yes, I understand, but by

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Speaker 1: and large, I guess what I'm trying to share with

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Speaker 1: you all is that the people in your life who

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Speaker 1: truly love you love you for you, because you're kind,

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Speaker 1: because you're curious, because you're funny, because you're thoughtful, and

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Speaker 1: they just want to spend time with you. And I

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Speaker 1: think as a society we've lost touch with joy. I

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Speaker 1: think there is a cultural war on joy because of

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Speaker 1: what we see on TV, because of what we see

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Speaker 1: on social media. Everyone is in this terrible game of

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Speaker 1: compare and despair, looking at everyone else's social media feed

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Speaker 1: and thinking that, you know, why is everyone out there

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Speaker 1: celebrating on vacation, getting a new house, getting a new car,

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Speaker 1: you know, and I'm sitting here worried about my bills.

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Speaker 1: My relationship is on the rocks, you know. It's you know,

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Speaker 1: social media. Despite my self being a very prevalent user,

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Speaker 1: you have to know in your heart that it's not real.

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Speaker 1: It is real, but it's also not real, meaning that

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Speaker 1: you're only seeing the parts of people that they want

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Speaker 1: you to see, and you cannot compare someone else's greatest

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00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:24,920
Speaker 1: hits with your every day It's simply not a fair comparison,

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Speaker 1: and the more you do it, the more you will lose.

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Speaker 1: I talked a little bit about friends, but I think

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Speaker 1: every adult, at least every few years in life needs

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Speaker 1: to do a friend audit. This is not meant to

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Speaker 1: be mean, This is not meant to cut anyone out

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Speaker 1: of our life lives. But as we move through different

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Speaker 1: stages of our lives, there are different people for different stages,

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Speaker 1: and some of your friends from previous stages of your

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Speaker 1: life may not be suitable to accompany you to the

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Speaker 1: next stage of your life. And that's okay. My maid

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Speaker 1: of honor at my wedding, I love her dearly. She

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Speaker 1: was my best friend when we were in our teens

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Speaker 1: and early twenties, but we've grown apart. She lives in

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Speaker 1: the far Northeast. She does not have children. She decided

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Speaker 1: by choice not to have children, and so we don't

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00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,480
Speaker 1: have a lot to talk about right now, and that's okay.

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Speaker 1: I wish her the best. Maybe she'll come back in

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Speaker 1: my life at another time. But I think sometimes we

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Speaker 1: hold on to friendships for the sake of nostalgia, or

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Speaker 1: you know, just the fact that we've known someone for

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Speaker 1: twenty years and they used to be our BFF, and

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Speaker 1: we used to, you know, be on the phone for

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Speaker 1: hours at a time when we were fifteen years old,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes that no longer works. And the worst kind

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Speaker 1: of friend, if you can call them, that is the

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Speaker 1: kind that tries to compete with you, or is jealous

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Speaker 1: of you, or uses you. And I've had all of those.

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Speaker 1: I have had friends that have straight up used me

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Speaker 1: for money, promotion, academic advancement. And it feels terrible when

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Speaker 1: you kind of figure out that you've been used. But

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Speaker 1: I caution you against building your walls so high that

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Speaker 1: it never happens to you again, because that's not good either. There.

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Speaker 1: It's like I say to my you know, supervisor, I

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00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,800
Speaker 1: would rather write a prescription for someone who fooled me

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Speaker 1: and doesn't actually need the pain pills than to be

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00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:18,399
Speaker 1: so hard that I'm not writing the prescriptions to people

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00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: who actually need them, you know, like you're fooling me,

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00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: and that lies on you. But I, in good faith

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00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:28,280
Speaker 1: believe you, so when the truth comes to light, that

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00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 1: is on you. It's not on me, right, But I

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00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 1: encourage you guys to do a friend audit every couple

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00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:41,840
Speaker 1: of years because time is a limited resource and I

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Speaker 1: want you to be spending time with the people that

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00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:50,919
Speaker 1: uplift you and empower you and inspire you to do

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00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:55,159
Speaker 1: bigger and better things, and not people who are bringing

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Speaker 1: you down. So I want to wrap up with negativity

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00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:05,560
Speaker 1: because it's a question that I get asked often on

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Speaker 1: social media, and also when I do speaking engagements. It's

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00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:12,120
Speaker 1: funny because I give a lot of keynotes, or I'll

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00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 1: be on a panel for either a medical conference or

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00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: a non medical conference, and there's always, you know, questions

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00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,960
Speaker 1: at the end, and then there's the questions after the questions,

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00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,560
Speaker 1: which is when you get off stage or you're mingling

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00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,320
Speaker 1: at the cocktail hour afterwards and someone comes up and says,

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Speaker 1: you know, I really enjoyed your talk, but can I

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00:28:31,119 --> 00:28:34,040
Speaker 1: ask you this? And one of the frequent questions that

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00:28:34,080 --> 00:28:36,720
Speaker 1: I get is how do you deal with the negativity

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00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:42,400
Speaker 1: that you get? And this is my answer. Be glad

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00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:47,680
Speaker 1: that people are talking about you, even if sometimes it's negative.

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00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 1: And I want you to imagine it like this. Say

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00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:55,320
Speaker 1: you're Joshmo, You're not very well known, you're not on

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00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 1: social media, you have kids that go to school, you

399
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,560
Speaker 1: have friends, maybe you have a church community, so your

400
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: sphere of influence is like one hundred people. You know,

401
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: about one hundred people come into a regular interaction with you,

402
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,600
Speaker 1: and five of them just do not like you. They

403
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: don't like your fashion sense, they think your voice is annoying,

404
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: they don't think you're an effective leader. I don't care. Whatever,

405
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,640
Speaker 1: five of them don't like you. It's five percent. Right now.

406
00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: You create a business, you're an entrepreneur, You go on

407
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 1: social media, you're posting about your business, maybe you decide

408
00:29:36,680 --> 00:29:41,960
Speaker 1: to run for PTA president whatever. You are putting yourself

409
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:47,320
Speaker 1: out there in one way or another, and now it

410
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,560
Speaker 1: seems like all of these people don't like you, don't

411
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:55,240
Speaker 1: like your ideas. You hear them talking stuff behind your back,

412
00:29:55,760 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 1: and you're just feeling terrible about yourself because you're like, man,

413
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 1: I must really suck. I should not put myself out

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00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 1: there anymore because I'm getting all this negative feedback. The

415
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:13,120
Speaker 1: fact is that we as humans have a proclivity towards

416
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:20,960
Speaker 1: negative thoughts and negative feedback because back when we were cavemen,

417
00:30:21,520 --> 00:30:25,320
Speaker 1: it behooved us to know if someone in the tribe

418
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 1: was upset with us, so we didn't get kicked out

419
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,960
Speaker 1: and have no protection. Right, we need to stay inside

420
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:35,640
Speaker 1: the cave when the wooly mammoth run through. Right, So

421
00:30:35,680 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 1: we have a proclivity towards not upsetting the status quo

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00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: and being very hyper sensitive to negative feedback. Okay, then

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00:30:44,320 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 1: what happens when you're an entrepreneur. You're trying to put

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00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 1: yourself out there, you go on social media, you're getting

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00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:53,280
Speaker 1: this hate. I want you to realize it is likely

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00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:57,640
Speaker 1: the same percentage of people who don't like you, but

427
00:30:57,840 --> 00:31:01,719
Speaker 1: because you're putting yourself out there and your sphere of

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00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 1: influence has now increased from say one hundred people to

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00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 1: one thousand people, fifty of them don't like you, and

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00:31:12,600 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 1: they're vocal about it versus the old five. So you

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Speaker 1: are getting more negative feedback in an absolute sense, you are,

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Speaker 1: but it's only because you're putting yourself out there and

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Speaker 1: your sphere of influence is growing. So I want you

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Speaker 1: guys to realize that. And I always tell my coaching

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Speaker 1: clients if someone is out there imitating you, talking about you,

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Speaker 1: or throwing shade at you, honey, it means you are

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Speaker 1: doing something right. Because if you were basic and doing

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00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 1: nothing and not putting yourself out there and you had

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00:31:48,760 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: no new ideas, who would be talking about you. No

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Speaker 1: one right, So don't let the negativity keep you from

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Speaker 1: doing what it is is you want to do. You

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Speaker 1: must work through it. Okay. I just want to give you,

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Speaker 1: guys that little pearl because it comes up a lot

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Speaker 1: with my coaching clients and when I speak. So we're

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Speaker 1: going to wrap up here. Thank you for listening to

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Speaker 1: this episode of Let's be clear. If you've enjoyed this

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Speaker 1: episode or if you want to hear more about my

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00:32:24,520 --> 00:32:28,000
Speaker 1: personal journey to joy, I want to encourage you to

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00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,720
Speaker 1: pick up my book, Joy Prescriptions, How I learned to

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00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:35,720
Speaker 1: stop chasing perfection and embrace connection. You can find it

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00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,600
Speaker 1: at Joyprescriptions dot com or anywhere that books are sold,

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00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: and you can follow me across all of the social

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00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 1: media platforms at Tiffany Moon MD. I really hope that

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Speaker 1: each of you are able to find more authenticity and joy.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much for listening. M