WEBVTT - Making The Decision To Put My Dog Down

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're listening to In the Vets Office with doctor

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<v Speaker 1>Josie Horchak.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, everyone, welcome back to in the Bets Office.

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<v Speaker 2>I am your host, Doctor Josie, and this week's episode

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<v Speaker 2>is going to look a little bit more different than

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<v Speaker 2>previous weeks. As some of you may know from following

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<v Speaker 2>me on social media, I recently euthanized my own dog, Biggie,

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<v Speaker 2>my little brown Chihuahua beagle Pomeranian mix. He was pretty

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<v Speaker 2>infamous on this podcast. I know a lot of you

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<v Speaker 2>messaged me saying that you felt like you knew him

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<v Speaker 2>from this podcast. He even was on it and bit

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<v Speaker 2>Bobby Bones in one of the episodes, so he made

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of a lot of wave for a little guy.

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<v Speaker 2>And I wanted to do this episode because I feel like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I've said this before, but every pet owner

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<v Speaker 2>will go through the loss of a pet at some point,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's something that you know as universal. It's devastating.

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<v Speaker 2>I think pet loss can feel really lonely, and so

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to just kind of talk about our experience

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<v Speaker 2>and if someone else can relate to it, that's awesome.

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<v Speaker 2>This might just be one therapeutic episode for me, which

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<v Speaker 2>is also great, but I do like I said, I

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<v Speaker 2>think we all go through it, and so hopefully if

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<v Speaker 2>one other person feels not alone from listening to this,

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<v Speaker 2>then that makes me happy. I decided to bring on

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<v Speaker 2>as he's calling himself a guest of honor today. Welcome

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<v Speaker 2>to in the BETS office, my husband Cody Hrchak.

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<v Speaker 1>I am here. I am nervous. I don't do this.

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<v Speaker 2>You I never see you nervous.

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<v Speaker 1>Let's let's get started.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was talking to producer Morgan about doing this episode,

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<v Speaker 2>I well, I think I'll just do a solo episode.

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<v Speaker 2>I'll talk about Biggie. And she's like, well, why don't

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<v Speaker 2>you have Cody on And I was like, Okay, maybe

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<v Speaker 2>I will do that. And you know, you are amazing

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<v Speaker 2>dog Dad, and I feel like you got me through

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<v Speaker 2>so much of this with Biggie, so I really thought

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<v Speaker 2>it would be nice to have you here, if nothing else,

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<v Speaker 2>your moral support for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Glad to be here, my moment of stardom. Let's go.

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<v Speaker 2>All right. I really want to start by talking about

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<v Speaker 2>Biggie's adoption story. That is what a story. One of

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<v Speaker 2>the biggest fights that we have ever gotten in. And

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<v Speaker 2>every time I think about it. It makes me laugh. So

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<v Speaker 2>why don't you do? Would you like to actually all

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<v Speaker 2>start prefacing it and then you can take it away?

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<v Speaker 1>Please do?

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<v Speaker 2>Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I would like to hear your side, okay, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I will fill in all the major gaps.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay. So I was sitting on the couch with my

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<v Speaker 2>sister and at the time I only had one dog,

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<v Speaker 2>which was Luca are great Dane, and she was getting older.

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<v Speaker 2>What I didn't know is that just a few months

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<v Speaker 2>after that we were going to diagnose her with bone cancer.

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<v Speaker 2>So did not know that was coming. But I knew

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<v Speaker 2>she was getting older and I wanted a second dog.

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<v Speaker 2>We had just moved to Tennessee. We finally had a backyard.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, now is the time. And so I

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<v Speaker 2>had mentioned to you, hey, we should get another dog,

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<v Speaker 2>and You're like, we just moved, we don't need another

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<v Speaker 2>dog right now. I'm like, okay, yeah, whatever you say.

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<v Speaker 2>So I get a link sent to me of this dog,

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<v Speaker 2>this little brown dog that was smiling. He's sitting on

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<v Speaker 2>a big chair. I take one look at him. I'm like, yep,

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<v Speaker 2>you're mine. And he was up for adoption through Proverbs,

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<v Speaker 2>which is another big rescue group here in Nashville. They

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<v Speaker 2>do a really good job. They're actually very They have

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<v Speaker 2>a pretty strict adoption process. Because I was applying and

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<v Speaker 2>they were like grilling me, like a rigorous adoption process.

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, guys, you know, I'm a veterinarian, right

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't matter. And honestly, I really like that. I think

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<v Speaker 2>that's good. We need to make sure that all these

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<v Speaker 2>owners are well vetted out. No pun intended to make

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<v Speaker 2>sure that these pets are going to great homes. So

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<v Speaker 2>they definitely vetted me out. They said, is there anybody

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<v Speaker 2>else that lives in the house. They said, yes, my husband.

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<v Speaker 2>They said, is he on board with this adoption? I

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<v Speaker 2>said absolutely, he is no doubt about it. Did I

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<v Speaker 2>ask Cody for permission? No, Cody has no idea I'm

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<v Speaker 2>adopting this dog. And what Proverbs does is they they

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<v Speaker 2>are all foster based, so they don't have an adoption center.

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<v Speaker 2>So on one Saturday a month, they set up a

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<v Speaker 2>tent outside of pet Smart and that is where people

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<v Speaker 2>who are adopting go to pick up the pet, get

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<v Speaker 2>their paperwork, et cetera. So the Saturday rolls around that

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<v Speaker 2>it's time for me to go pick up this dog,

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<v Speaker 2>and Cody says, I was gatfished. And I still haven't

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<v Speaker 2>told Cody yet what's happening. And I said, hey, when

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<v Speaker 2>we go to Pet Smart, I got to pick something

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<v Speaker 2>up for Luca and Timmy our horse, Like, we'll just

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<v Speaker 2>swing by really quick. So we get to Pet Smart,

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<v Speaker 2>we park the car, we're getting out of the car,

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<v Speaker 2>we're about probably ten steps away from the adoption tent

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<v Speaker 2>and he looks at me and he was like, wait

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<v Speaker 2>a second. And I have this like big grit on

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<v Speaker 2>my face and he was like no, and I was

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<v Speaker 2>like yes.

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<v Speaker 1>And at that moment, you looked at me and you said,

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<v Speaker 1>don't f this up. And I said, I knew we

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<v Speaker 1>weren't there for dog food.

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<v Speaker 2>I said don't. I don't know why. I said, I'll

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<v Speaker 2>kill you if you mess this up for me, something

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<v Speaker 2>along those lines. It wasn't nice. It was a threat.

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<v Speaker 2>It was a threat. It was a cold blood threat.

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<v Speaker 2>And I meant that because if you go up there

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<v Speaker 2>and you're at the adoption tent and not everybody in

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<v Speaker 2>the family's on board with the adoption, they will rip

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<v Speaker 2>the dog back, as they should, and they won't let

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<v Speaker 2>you go home with the pet. So I did. I

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<v Speaker 2>looked you in the eyes and I said, don't mess

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<v Speaker 2>this up for.

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<v Speaker 1>Me, and then I looked big in the eyes. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I really want to mess this up as

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<v Speaker 1>much as in that moment after the facts love him,

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<v Speaker 1>loved him, but at that moment, I was like, that

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<v Speaker 1>is a morbidly obese, smelly buttholeig.

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<v Speaker 2>We get up there and he is, yeah, in the

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<v Speaker 2>arms of his foster, he is you guys. We score

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<v Speaker 2>body condition one out of nine, nine being the most obese,

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<v Speaker 2>one being severely mountainurished. He is a full throttle nine

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<v Speaker 2>out of nine. He was an eleven out of nine

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<v Speaker 2>if that could even exist. He is so fat, he's

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<v Speaker 2>like panting profusely stink. He really smelled like roadkill. Is

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<v Speaker 2>this don't day? Don't know why. I think he had

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<v Speaker 2>an infected like eye ducked, but he smelled like roadkill.

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<v Speaker 1>Either way.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyways, I walk up, I'm like, you're beautiful, you're perfect, icy,

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<v Speaker 2>You're perfect, You're mine, You're amazing. And so the adoption

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<v Speaker 2>the foster hands Cody the collar and says, this is

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<v Speaker 2>your new dog. His name at the time was baby Bear.

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<v Speaker 2>This is baby Bear. Do you want to put his

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<v Speaker 2>collar on him. Cody's holding the collars, standing there looking

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<v Speaker 2>at Biggie and he's like, this dog is so fat.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know where his neck starts and stops.

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<v Speaker 1>And for clarification, I wasn't fat shaming this dog, but

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<v Speaker 1>I mean it was a roly polly.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he was really puly. And the lady goes, well,

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<v Speaker 2>have you never put a collar on before? And I'm

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<v Speaker 2>looking at him, like, put the collar on. Put the

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<v Speaker 2>collar on. He goes to put the collar on, and

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<v Speaker 2>Biggie looks at him and goes er and try yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and he bites you. And I was like, this is amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>This is so bad, amazing and so bad. So we snap.

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<v Speaker 2>I snapped the collar on really quick. I'm like, okay, perfect,

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<v Speaker 2>thank you so much, like goodbye, and we get in

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<v Speaker 2>the car.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm pissed, pissed.

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<v Speaker 2>Cody is not please. He's like this this was like

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<v Speaker 2>a major life decision. You haven't consulted me on this.

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<v Speaker 2>We get home, he's like, really not please. I think

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<v Speaker 2>you like grabbed a beer and you went out and

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<v Speaker 2>sit on the back patio and you sat back there

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<v Speaker 2>and like stared off into the distance for like hours.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, No, I did not. I'm not mannic I stop that. No,

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<v Speaker 1>I did not grab a beer and go sit on

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<v Speaker 1>the back porch. That was after he tried to suicide

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<v Speaker 1>leap out of the house because he didn't want it either.

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<v Speaker 1>Like him and I were on the same page. He

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I don't want to be here, and I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I don't want you here, and we had

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<v Speaker 1>a good stare down.

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<v Speaker 2>You had a stand off. Did he did try to

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<v Speaker 2>jump off a ledge when we first got home, But no,

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<v Speaker 2>you were pretty unhappy anyways. All that to say, I

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<v Speaker 2>do think, okay, listen, I think I might have learned

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<v Speaker 2>my lesson, like I will.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know a thing is not to do because

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<v Speaker 1>we weren't even married at that point. We were dating,

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<v Speaker 1>we lived together, we were engaged, we were engaged. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I mean, things you don't do early in an engagement

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<v Speaker 1>is like make life changing decision and bring responsibility.

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<v Speaker 2>And I want to say that I regret it, but

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<v Speaker 2>I don't. I definitely don't do it tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, I'm just I'm so confused to how

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<v Speaker 1>you you saw him in a photo and was like,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a cute dog. Don't get me wrong, like after

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<v Speaker 1>the fact, cute at could be, But in that moment,

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<v Speaker 1>I just I'm baffled by the fact. You're like, he's mine.

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<v Speaker 1>I just knew I can't go without him. I just

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<v Speaker 1>knew I had like a million I looked at the

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<v Speaker 1>photo and I was like, there's a million reasons not

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<v Speaker 1>to go this direction.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, he was so cute, and we got him home

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<v Speaker 2>and finally like, okay, so what's his name? And I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>baby bear? But he only goes by baby And You're like,

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<v Speaker 2>all right, we'll keep the dogs.

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<v Speaker 1>Deal breaker, get me back in the car. We're going

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<v Speaker 1>back to Patsmorrow. We're not calling him baby bear.

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<v Speaker 2>You're like, I'm not calling this dog baby. I'm like, okay, well,

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<v Speaker 2>like that's what he knows and he's five now. So

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<v Speaker 2>we ended up saying what's the name similar that he

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<v Speaker 2>won't have to relearn it, and we ended up on Biggie,

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<v Speaker 2>which was fitting.

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<v Speaker 1>It was super fitting, tiny, tiny dog next to a

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<v Speaker 1>one hundred and forty pound Great Dane. It was like

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<v Speaker 1>Biggie and lou right, But his personality, I mean, the

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<v Speaker 1>biggest personality of any dog.

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<v Speaker 2>I've ever met one. I say this without fail, like

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<v Speaker 2>He is the bravest little dog. He would walk into

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<v Speaker 2>any air and be like, yep, I own this place.

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<v Speaker 2>And I always talk about on the podcast, and you know,

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<v Speaker 2>because we've rescued a lot of dogs. Now, it's like

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<v Speaker 2>dogs take three days to warm up, three weeks to

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<v Speaker 2>do this, three months and like you, your personality is like,

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<v Speaker 2>continue to come out now.

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<v Speaker 1>He came into the house like a mafia boss. He's like,

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<v Speaker 1>this is mine now.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he definitely walked in and he was like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I own this place. He got into his bed, he

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<v Speaker 2>put all four paws up in the air, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think he like started snoring out loud.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep.

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<v Speaker 2>Speaking of which, that was another thing. I'm really realizing

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<v Speaker 2>that maybe I'm just torturing you as your wife. But

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<v Speaker 2>you were like, he can't sleep in the bed. He

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<v Speaker 2>smells so bad, Like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. But

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<v Speaker 2>he really wanted to sleep in the bed next to me.

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<v Speaker 2>He loved me, and so I was like, I'm just

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<v Speaker 2>gonna when you fall asleep, I'm just gonna pick him

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<v Speaker 2>up here. So every night he ended up in the bed.

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<v Speaker 1>YEP. It's definitely torturous.

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<v Speaker 2>Finally, by the end of it, though, you bought him stairs.

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<v Speaker 1>I loved this dog.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>It was definitely a hate relationship early on, like we

0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:23.800
<v Speaker 1>were just roommates, like the worst roommates ever, you know,

0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:26.280
<v Speaker 1>like when you're in college and you're like, hey, this

0:11:26.320 --> 0:11:27.000
<v Speaker 1>ain't working out.

0:11:27.960 --> 0:11:28.960
<v Speaker 3>But then he grew on me.

0:11:29.679 --> 0:11:31.280
<v Speaker 2>He did grow on you. And you would always say

0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:35.960
<v Speaker 2>that he was like so fickle that when I was here,

0:11:36.000 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 2>like I was his world. He would have followed me everywhere,

0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:41.400
<v Speaker 2>and then afterwards when I would leave, he was obsessed

0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:41.600
<v Speaker 2>with you.

0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:49.760
<v Speaker 1>Yes, definitely, when Josie was here, it was her world,

0:11:50.320 --> 0:11:51.360
<v Speaker 1>he was focused on it.

0:11:51.480 --> 0:11:55.120
<v Speaker 3>When she left, oh my god, he was just he

0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:55.920
<v Speaker 3>was glued to me.

0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:58.160
<v Speaker 2>He was a little trader.

0:11:58.440 --> 0:11:59.400
<v Speaker 1>He was a trader.

0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.080
<v Speaker 2>I also love. One of my favorite things is he

0:12:03.360 --> 0:12:07.720
<v Speaker 2>loves to look out the window. And he would always

0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.960
<v Speaker 2>like when I would leave, want to look out the window,

0:12:09.960 --> 0:12:11.720
<v Speaker 2>and he'd stay there until I got home. So it

0:12:11.800 --> 0:12:15.400
<v Speaker 2>first started you built him like this little Amazon box perch,

0:12:15.520 --> 0:12:17.880
<v Speaker 2>like one box, onto two boxes, onto three boxes where

0:12:17.880 --> 0:12:20.520
<v Speaker 2>he could climb up. Then finally I come home one

0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:23.360
<v Speaker 2>day and you're in there with like a drill and

0:12:23.400 --> 0:12:25.400
<v Speaker 2>a hammer, and I'm like, what is going on? And

0:12:25.440 --> 0:12:30.400
<v Speaker 2>you got on Wayfair, and you bought him a cat tree.

0:12:29.600 --> 0:12:33.280
<v Speaker 1>That he could like he could so fitting that he could.

0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:36.240
<v Speaker 2>Like climb up into and then steer out the window.

0:12:36.400 --> 0:12:37.679
<v Speaker 2>Was so cute.

0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:42.280
<v Speaker 1>He definitely he'd liked to be high, he'd like to

0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:43.880
<v Speaker 1>look out, and I mean he would be there for

0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:45.520
<v Speaker 1>eight hours, like you would leave and then he would

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:46.640
<v Speaker 1>just sit there until you came back.

0:12:46.720 --> 0:12:46.920
<v Speaker 2>I know.

0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:49.240
<v Speaker 1>He was so loyal and he was clockwork too, like

0:12:49.280 --> 0:12:51.920
<v Speaker 1>he I don't know how he dogs know, but like

0:12:52.960 --> 0:12:54.480
<v Speaker 1>the moment you were five minutes out, he knew you

0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:56.880
<v Speaker 1>were coming and I was like, all right, well this is weird,

0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:58.080
<v Speaker 1>and I guess your mom's on our way home.

0:12:58.440 --> 0:13:01.000
<v Speaker 2>They HiT's like there they know when the sun is setting,

0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:05.280
<v Speaker 2>like they just are so yeah, intuitive, And he really

0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:09.080
<v Speaker 2>loved Sia. We got Sya. We got Biggie in August,

0:13:09.080 --> 0:13:12.040
<v Speaker 2>and we got Sia in October. So we went from

0:13:12.240 --> 0:13:14.480
<v Speaker 2>one dog to you being like, no, we can't get another,

0:13:14.520 --> 0:13:16.600
<v Speaker 2>and I got the second. And then we were on

0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:19.480
<v Speaker 2>vacation two months later and we found Sia. So next thing,

0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:22.840
<v Speaker 2>I know, which you were kind of on board with, Oh.

0:13:22.679 --> 0:13:26.240
<v Speaker 1>No, no no. That was also very similar. We're on

0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.440
<v Speaker 1>vacation and you see this dog going on the street.

0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:30.680
<v Speaker 1>Next thing I know, I'm in a vet clinic for days,

0:13:32.440 --> 0:13:34.079
<v Speaker 1>trying to figure out how to get a dog.

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:38.560
<v Speaker 3>Home from Mexico during the pandemic. Yeah, no, I am.

0:13:39.000 --> 0:13:41.800
<v Speaker 1>I didn't talked to something about this. I mean we're

0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 1>calling up better health tomorrow.

0:13:44.760 --> 0:13:46.839
<v Speaker 2>Okay. But now you love Sia, Well I.

0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:49.360
<v Speaker 1>Love Sia, yeah, as much as you loved Biggie.

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:55.120
<v Speaker 2>Game or best decision ever. And so we get Sia

0:13:55.160 --> 0:13:58.640
<v Speaker 2>a few months later, and him and Sia were like inseparable.

0:13:58.760 --> 0:13:59.520
<v Speaker 2>They loved each.

0:13:59.400 --> 0:14:03.319
<v Speaker 1>Other from the beginning. Yeah, I mean, but Biggie always

0:14:03.360 --> 0:14:06.080
<v Speaker 1>had that personality where he's like saw Luca hate her,

0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:10.360
<v Speaker 1>like they never got along. Ever, Sia comes in love Siah.

0:14:10.440 --> 0:14:13.439
<v Speaker 1>Now we have Oakley, but he hated Oakley. Yeah, I

0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.720
<v Speaker 1>always you know the joke that I always with Biggie.

0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.760
<v Speaker 1>If Bigie had a posable thumbs, eighty percent of the

0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:19.440
<v Speaker 1>people who walk through the door would be dead. Yeah,

0:14:19.480 --> 0:14:21.640
<v Speaker 1>like he would just shoot him. Like he didn't. He

0:14:21.680 --> 0:14:25.520
<v Speaker 1>didn't like people. He liked one person, Josie or anybody

0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.880
<v Speaker 1>who had cheese, which your nurse.

0:14:27.720 --> 0:14:30.800
<v Speaker 3>Ellen, Yeah, I mean they would you know.

0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.160
<v Speaker 1>She'd come over with a pile of cheese. But he

0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:34.360
<v Speaker 1>hated everybody else.

0:14:34.600 --> 0:14:38.560
<v Speaker 2>Speaking of cheese, You guys, this dog could eat anything.

0:14:38.840 --> 0:14:40.440
<v Speaker 2>He had guts of steel.

0:14:40.480 --> 0:14:42.640
<v Speaker 1>He would eat dry wall when we were rendoing our house,

0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:44.200
<v Speaker 1>like he would go around and pick up the piece

0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:46.000
<v Speaker 1>of the drywall and just like he was caveards.

0:14:46.000 --> 0:14:48.680
<v Speaker 2>He loves drywall, which, by the way, I am fully

0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:51.600
<v Speaker 2>aware that I'm a veterinarian and should not condone animals

0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:55.440
<v Speaker 2>eating drywall, and I don't and I do not condone that.

0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:58.240
<v Speaker 2>I think that's very dangerous. But I could not, like

0:14:58.360 --> 0:15:00.560
<v Speaker 2>literally stop him. He would like be like a little

0:15:01.080 --> 0:15:05.760
<v Speaker 2>like vacuum cleaner. He loved lu huffed to eat everything.

0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:07.200
<v Speaker 1>Every crumb, it doesn't matter what it was.

0:15:08.360 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know, And I would like to say that, yes,

0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:13.200
<v Speaker 2>we got him really fat, and he's still when he passed,

0:15:13.240 --> 0:15:15.080
<v Speaker 2>he still wasn't the smallest little guy in the world,

0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:17.120
<v Speaker 2>But damn did we try. We had him on a

0:15:17.160 --> 0:15:21.000
<v Speaker 2>pretty strict diet. He lost. He started at like eighteen pounds.

0:15:21.040 --> 0:15:23.120
<v Speaker 2>We caught him down to like thirteen or fourteen at

0:15:23.160 --> 0:15:25.600
<v Speaker 2>one point. Then towards the end, I was like, ah,

0:15:25.680 --> 0:15:26.600
<v Speaker 2>let's let him live a little.

0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:30.520
<v Speaker 1>Oh, this is mother's love. You know, you were, We're

0:15:30.560 --> 0:15:33.120
<v Speaker 1>like a healthy weight's eleven pounds, maybe twelve pounds, but

0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 1>once he got to like fourteen, We're like, nah, we're

0:15:36.200 --> 0:15:37.040
<v Speaker 1>just gonna let him live.

0:15:37.240 --> 0:15:41.000
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, he was a cute, little round fourteen pounds.

0:15:41.080 --> 0:15:43.200
<v Speaker 3>Well, according to you, he was stocky.

0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:44.240
<v Speaker 2>He was stuck.

0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:45.640
<v Speaker 1>He's pretty chunky.

0:15:46.480 --> 0:15:47.840
<v Speaker 2>It was his bone structure.

0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:49.880
<v Speaker 1>It was not his bone structure. But we'll just we'll

0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:50.360
<v Speaker 1>roll with that.

0:15:51.400 --> 0:15:58.960
<v Speaker 2>What So, back in twenty twenty three, I believe is

0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:00.880
<v Speaker 2>when I was going to take him in for a

0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.600
<v Speaker 2>dental he had some stinky breath. I knew he had

0:16:03.600 --> 0:16:05.880
<v Speaker 2>a tooth that needed to come out, and the night

0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:09.440
<v Speaker 2>before his dental procedure, I didn't examine on him. I

0:16:09.520 --> 0:16:11.760
<v Speaker 2>listened to his heart. I had already run his blood work,

0:16:11.880 --> 0:16:14.080
<v Speaker 2>and I stuck my stethoscope on his chest and I

0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:16.120
<v Speaker 2>was like, whoa, he has a heart murmur that was

0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:19.840
<v Speaker 2>not there a couple months ago when I had listened

0:16:19.880 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 2>to him, and so I canceled his dental procedure. I

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:27.440
<v Speaker 2>took him into our veterinary cardiologist here and had an

0:16:27.480 --> 0:16:31.640
<v Speaker 2>echo excuse me, an echo cardiogram performed, which is an

0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:34.440
<v Speaker 2>ultrasound of the heart. It lets you see all four

0:16:34.520 --> 0:16:37.440
<v Speaker 2>chambers of the heart. You can find out exactly why

0:16:37.600 --> 0:16:40.720
<v Speaker 2>your pet has a heart murmur, what's causing it, how

0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.400
<v Speaker 2>serious is it. Is it safe for them to undergo anesthesia?

0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:50.560
<v Speaker 2>And the cardiologist diagnosed him with degenerative valve disease. So

0:16:50.680 --> 0:16:55.080
<v Speaker 2>two of the valves in his heart were not closing

0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:58.120
<v Speaker 2>the way that they should, and so instead of blood

0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.600
<v Speaker 2>rushing forward and pushed forward in his heart like it's

0:17:01.600 --> 0:17:06.560
<v Speaker 2>supposed to, little amounts of blood would rush backwards because

0:17:06.600 --> 0:17:09.040
<v Speaker 2>those valves aren't closing all the way. And with time,

0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:13.840
<v Speaker 2>that causes the muscles of the heart wall to get

0:17:13.880 --> 0:17:17.760
<v Speaker 2>tired and become fatigued, and the heart itself will eventually

0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:20.560
<v Speaker 2>not be able to kind of keep up with demand.

0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:24.760
<v Speaker 2>And so, knowing that he had degenerative valve disease, he

0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:26.840
<v Speaker 2>was at the beginning, I would say, midway to the

0:17:27.160 --> 0:17:29.960
<v Speaker 2>beginning of the disease process. And it's really kind of

0:17:30.000 --> 0:17:33.880
<v Speaker 2>up in the air for how long pets do after diagnosis.

0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:37.000
<v Speaker 2>Every pet is different. Some pets can make it five

0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:40.440
<v Speaker 2>more years on average. On average, though, I would say

0:17:40.680 --> 0:17:44.640
<v Speaker 2>at the time of what Biggie had his diagnosis, you're

0:17:44.680 --> 0:17:48.359
<v Speaker 2>probably looking at like two to three years, and so

0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:53.640
<v Speaker 2>that kind of really started it all. And it's so interesting.

0:17:53.640 --> 0:17:55.199
<v Speaker 2>I guess we can kind of talk about having a

0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:57.880
<v Speaker 2>dog with a disease that you know eventually is going

0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:01.720
<v Speaker 2>to take them. And he really did great. I would

0:18:01.720 --> 0:18:04.840
<v Speaker 2>say for the first year of diagnosis, we put him

0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:07.920
<v Speaker 2>on one or two heart meds, he went under anesthesia,

0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:11.240
<v Speaker 2>he had his dental procedure. He did really well. And

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.600
<v Speaker 2>I would say like probably like a year and a

0:18:13.600 --> 0:18:17.040
<v Speaker 2>half eighteen months after diagnosis is when I felt like

0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:21.000
<v Speaker 2>I really started noticing a big difference. He definitely couldn't

0:18:21.080 --> 0:18:24.600
<v Speaker 2>exercise as much as he used to without getting winded

0:18:24.640 --> 0:18:28.520
<v Speaker 2>more quickly. He started coughing quite a bit. Am I missing.

0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:30.280
<v Speaker 1>Anything even just tired?

0:18:30.720 --> 0:18:35.639
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, tired. Yeah. So we eventually, by the end of

0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:38.760
<v Speaker 2>his disease process, I had him on I don't know,

0:18:38.880 --> 0:18:43.159
<v Speaker 2>maybe six or seven different medications. I'm a veterinarian, so

0:18:43.320 --> 0:18:45.240
<v Speaker 2>and it was hard for me. I cannot imagine what

0:18:45.320 --> 0:18:47.320
<v Speaker 2>it's like for other owners out there that don't have

0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:52.000
<v Speaker 2>that background being a caretaker for a sick pet. I

0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:55.159
<v Speaker 2>just I have a whole new perspective on it and

0:18:55.240 --> 0:18:59.119
<v Speaker 2>empathy for my clients because it is a lot of work.

0:18:59.200 --> 0:19:03.200
<v Speaker 2>I had to like adjust my everyday schedule to be home.

0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:07.600
<v Speaker 2>If I didn't give him his mid day medications right

0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:10.480
<v Speaker 2>at one one point thirty, then that kind of set

0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:12.960
<v Speaker 2>him up for a really bad night full of coughing,

0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:15.480
<v Speaker 2>and that you know, fell onto your shoulders sometimes too

0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.840
<v Speaker 2>if I wasn't home. So we had to be really

0:19:17.880 --> 0:19:20.399
<v Speaker 2>strict about when we gave him his meds, what meds

0:19:20.440 --> 0:19:22.399
<v Speaker 2>to give him. I mean, it took me probably thirty

0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:24.919
<v Speaker 2>minutes in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the

0:19:24.920 --> 0:19:28.959
<v Speaker 2>evening to get his tablets split into the way they

0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:31.479
<v Speaker 2>were supposed to be split and all of the doses correct.

0:19:31.480 --> 0:19:34.440
<v Speaker 2>And I always had to like tinker around with his doses.

0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:36.720
<v Speaker 2>And some days he didn't want to take his pills,

0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:38.520
<v Speaker 2>some days he didn't want to eat his food. And

0:19:38.680 --> 0:19:42.119
<v Speaker 2>that was for me such an eye opener into how

0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:45.280
<v Speaker 2>much work it is, and like the burden of being

0:19:45.280 --> 0:19:50.439
<v Speaker 2>a caregiver. And there is something called caregiver fatigue where

0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.400
<v Speaker 2>you just start to you love your animal, you would

0:19:53.400 --> 0:19:55.359
<v Speaker 2>do anything for them. I would still. I would spend

0:19:55.440 --> 0:19:57.920
<v Speaker 2>three hours a day splitting his pills and doing whatever

0:19:58.000 --> 0:19:59.600
<v Speaker 2>I needed to do for him if it meant he

0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:02.359
<v Speaker 2>got to be be here with me, But it is

0:20:02.400 --> 0:20:05.960
<v Speaker 2>also true that it was definitely draining.

0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:09.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think that was the hardest thing in the

0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:12.040
<v Speaker 1>last few months, is especially with Biggie with such a

0:20:12.160 --> 0:20:15.600
<v Speaker 1>like progressive disease where he was getting worse and worse,

0:20:15.680 --> 0:20:19.280
<v Speaker 1>but he would have like moments of joy where he

0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:21.959
<v Speaker 1>would be like, oh, maybe he's not as bad as

0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:23.720
<v Speaker 1>we think he is, Like maybe he can live another

0:20:23.840 --> 0:20:26.840
<v Speaker 1>four or five six months, And then you know, you

0:20:26.880 --> 0:20:30.159
<v Speaker 1>find yourself at a crossroads where you're like, are we

0:20:30.200 --> 0:20:31.800
<v Speaker 1>doing it for us, are we doing it for him?

0:20:32.320 --> 0:20:35.960
<v Speaker 1>Or a combination of both. And you know, all I

0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:39.320
<v Speaker 1>ever had in my past to reference was Luca, which

0:20:39.359 --> 0:20:42.719
<v Speaker 1>was our great Dane who passed with bone cancer, and

0:20:42.920 --> 0:20:46.400
<v Speaker 1>she was just so much more progressive. Like one day

0:20:46.600 --> 0:20:48.280
<v Speaker 1>we just woke up and we're like, we saw this

0:20:48.440 --> 0:20:52.320
<v Speaker 1>golf sell golf size, golf ball sized tumor on her leg.

0:20:52.400 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 1>And then a few months later she couldn't walk up

0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:56.720
<v Speaker 1>and downstairs and she was like crying, and you're like, oh,

0:20:56.720 --> 0:20:59.240
<v Speaker 1>she's in pain. We gotta we gotta do what's right.

0:21:00.040 --> 0:21:02.879
<v Speaker 1>Biggie was like he'd have good days, you have bad days,

0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:08.920
<v Speaker 1>And it was really hard to disassociate with the fact

0:21:08.960 --> 0:21:10.720
<v Speaker 1>of was this for us or was this for him?

0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, totally. So with euthanasia, I think that it's

0:21:17.760 --> 0:21:21.080
<v Speaker 2>such a double edged sword of like having that not

0:21:21.240 --> 0:21:24.119
<v Speaker 2>having it be an emergency, because there's some people where

0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:26.600
<v Speaker 2>they are like, oh my gosh, my pet is so sick.

0:21:26.640 --> 0:21:29.040
<v Speaker 2>I rushed them to the er. We have to euthanize,

0:21:29.080 --> 0:21:31.440
<v Speaker 2>there's really no other choice. That is devastating because you

0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:34.200
<v Speaker 2>don't get to say goodbye, but also in some ways

0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:37.000
<v Speaker 2>it's a blessing because you're not living with this six

0:21:37.040 --> 0:21:39.840
<v Speaker 2>months to a year of living in that kind of

0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:42.240
<v Speaker 2>gray area. And like you said, with Luca, it was

0:21:42.359 --> 0:21:44.040
<v Speaker 2>very clear with bone cancer. We got to a point

0:21:44.040 --> 0:21:45.960
<v Speaker 2>where we just couldn't keep her comfortable anymore.

0:21:46.960 --> 0:21:47.200
<v Speaker 1>Pain.

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:49.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah she was. She was definitely in pain. But Biggie

0:21:49.920 --> 0:21:53.439
<v Speaker 2>was like coughing a lot, but he still was like,

0:21:53.720 --> 0:21:56.280
<v Speaker 2>let me eat, let's do this, let's do that, and

0:21:56.440 --> 0:21:59.840
<v Speaker 2>so it was definitely, yeah, blagging his tail. So it

0:22:00.119 --> 0:22:06.280
<v Speaker 2>is definitely very, very difficult. And I just want to say, like,

0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:09.120
<v Speaker 2>I am lucky because I have you, Like, I think

0:22:09.160 --> 0:22:13.720
<v Speaker 2>you're very pragmatic and logical about these things, and I

0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:16.160
<v Speaker 2>am a veterinarian. So like I coach people through this

0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:18.440
<v Speaker 2>all the time, that's my job. But when it comes

0:22:18.440 --> 0:22:22.719
<v Speaker 2>to your own animal, no matter how practical pragmatic, if

0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:25.439
<v Speaker 2>you're in the veterinary field or not, like your sense

0:22:25.480 --> 0:22:29.280
<v Speaker 2>of reasonable thinking really goes out the window. And so

0:22:29.600 --> 0:22:32.560
<v Speaker 2>I would stress that if you feel like you're in

0:22:32.640 --> 0:22:36.480
<v Speaker 2>this time where you have to make this decision, you

0:22:36.920 --> 0:22:39.000
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't have to make this decision alone. And if you

0:22:39.080 --> 0:22:41.640
<v Speaker 2>don't have a partner that you can rely on, call

0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:44.080
<v Speaker 2>your veterinarian, take your pet in and go in for

0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:46.840
<v Speaker 2>just a quality of life visit. We do those all

0:22:46.880 --> 0:22:49.639
<v Speaker 2>the time, and it's our job just to help you

0:22:49.680 --> 0:22:52.760
<v Speaker 2>as an objective outsider, to help you make that decision,

0:22:53.440 --> 0:22:57.399
<v Speaker 2>because when it's your own pet, it feels impossible.

0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:00.919
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, especially when when you love animal as much as

0:23:00.960 --> 0:23:03.600
<v Speaker 1>we did, and we were part of our family.

0:23:03.680 --> 0:23:07.320
<v Speaker 3>And I think what really drove that decision was.

0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:12.159
<v Speaker 1>There were there were great days that were congruent, and

0:23:12.200 --> 0:23:14.000
<v Speaker 1>then there was like a bad night where he couldn't

0:23:14.040 --> 0:23:15.960
<v Speaker 1>sleep and he was coughing and he felt and you

0:23:16.000 --> 0:23:18.359
<v Speaker 1>could just see in his eyes he it was sad.

0:23:18.880 --> 0:23:20.160
<v Speaker 3>But then he'd wake up in the morning.

0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.680
<v Speaker 1>Be totally fine. He's like, where's my breakfast? Right? And

0:23:23.720 --> 0:23:28.040
<v Speaker 1>I think what ultimately helped us drive the decision was

0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:33.000
<v Speaker 1>the number of days he was good was getting less

0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:36.880
<v Speaker 1>before we had a bad evening or a bad day.

0:23:37.680 --> 0:23:39.920
<v Speaker 1>And the what I did was I set you down.

0:23:39.960 --> 0:23:42.320
<v Speaker 1>I was like, we're on the verge of something very

0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:48.240
<v Speaker 1>traumatic happening, where like he's incredibly scared and a lot

0:23:48.280 --> 0:23:51.920
<v Speaker 1>of pain. We're freaking out, Like we just need to

0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:54.960
<v Speaker 1>understand like if we keep progressing this, like if we

0:23:55.040 --> 0:23:58.760
<v Speaker 1>keep pushing this off until something really traumatic happens, it's

0:23:58.760 --> 0:24:00.520
<v Speaker 1>not good for us or good for him him hm.

0:24:00.760 --> 0:24:02.639
<v Speaker 3>And it was just that was kind of the probable

0:24:03.520 --> 0:24:05.440
<v Speaker 3>the approach that I took, whereas.

0:24:06.480 --> 0:24:08.880
<v Speaker 1>There's going to be a night where's he literally feels

0:24:08.920 --> 0:24:10.800
<v Speaker 1>like he's suffocating, and do we want him to get

0:24:10.840 --> 0:24:11.399
<v Speaker 1>to that point?

0:24:11.520 --> 0:24:13.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I think that's such a great point to make

0:24:13.880 --> 0:24:17.359
<v Speaker 2>because I do talk to owners about you know, we

0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:19.600
<v Speaker 2>can wait, but we're going to get to a point

0:24:19.680 --> 0:24:21.840
<v Speaker 2>just like you said, where it's an emergency, you're rushing

0:24:21.880 --> 0:24:25.320
<v Speaker 2>him into the er overnight and then maybe you don't

0:24:25.320 --> 0:24:27.480
<v Speaker 2>get a say goodbye on the terms that you want to.

0:24:27.600 --> 0:24:29.440
<v Speaker 2>And some people say I don't care. I'll wait till

0:24:29.440 --> 0:24:31.520
<v Speaker 2>the last second. But then also you have to think,

0:24:31.600 --> 0:24:36.000
<v Speaker 2>like your pet is probably suffering, And to us, it

0:24:36.080 --> 0:24:39.000
<v Speaker 2>was more important just to be able to say goodbye

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:41.760
<v Speaker 2>in a peaceful way where he could eat a number

0:24:41.840 --> 0:24:45.600
<v Speaker 2>seven combo meal from McDonald's. He could crush it in

0:24:45.640 --> 0:24:48.520
<v Speaker 2>the backyard. He got all the love in the world.

0:24:48.720 --> 0:24:51.600
<v Speaker 2>He got super high, and we were able to say

0:24:51.640 --> 0:24:54.480
<v Speaker 2>goodbye at home. So I feel like that super high

0:24:55.000 --> 0:24:55.959
<v Speaker 2>that was helpful for us.

0:24:56.040 --> 0:25:00.040
<v Speaker 1>We gave him the pre med and he definitely he

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:02.479
<v Speaker 1>was seeing Lucy in the sky with diamonds. He was

0:25:02.560 --> 0:25:03.520
<v Speaker 1>he was having a good time.

0:25:03.640 --> 0:25:09.320
<v Speaker 2>He ate it was amazing. He had a double cheeseburger mcflury.

0:25:09.640 --> 0:25:10.639
<v Speaker 2>He did have an oreo.

0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 1>Mcflury had to have an entire box of.

0:25:13.040 --> 0:25:15.480
<v Speaker 2>French fries and chicken nuggets.

0:25:15.520 --> 0:25:18.800
<v Speaker 1>And now we know why he never got under fourteen

0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:19.560
<v Speaker 1>pounds never.

0:25:19.760 --> 0:25:22.800
<v Speaker 2>He just loved it. I almost forgot why I want

0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:24.199
<v Speaker 2>to keep going and we're going to come back to this.

0:25:24.240 --> 0:25:28.640
<v Speaker 2>Almost forgot to say that when we adopted him, who

0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:30.679
<v Speaker 2>had owned him before. I think I've talked about this

0:25:30.720 --> 0:25:34.119
<v Speaker 2>on the podcast before, but he had a prior to

0:25:34.200 --> 0:25:36.919
<v Speaker 2>me being his mother. He had an elderly woman that

0:25:37.160 --> 0:25:40.000
<v Speaker 2>owned him, and she had let him out into the

0:25:40.000 --> 0:25:42.640
<v Speaker 2>backyard to go potty. She went back inside, sat down

0:25:42.640 --> 0:25:46.800
<v Speaker 2>on her chair and passed away. I don't know if

0:25:46.840 --> 0:25:49.680
<v Speaker 2>she had a stroke or a heart attack. The details

0:25:49.680 --> 0:25:51.600
<v Speaker 2>are vague, but yeah, the details are vague, but she

0:25:51.640 --> 0:25:57.160
<v Speaker 2>passed away. And eventually the neighbors a few days after this, realized, hey,

0:25:57.200 --> 0:25:59.800
<v Speaker 2>this little dog's been locked out in the backyard. I

0:25:59.840 --> 0:26:03.840
<v Speaker 2>think they saw him July. Right in July, they saw it.

0:26:04.080 --> 0:26:06.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean, the guy stayed outside for five days, no food,

0:26:06.600 --> 0:26:06.960
<v Speaker 1>no aud.

0:26:07.240 --> 0:26:09.119
<v Speaker 2>He had a lot of fat storage, I mean.

0:26:09.240 --> 0:26:11.000
<v Speaker 3>And a lot of fur. Like heat stroke would have

0:26:11.000 --> 0:26:11.720
<v Speaker 3>been a real thing.

0:26:11.840 --> 0:26:14.080
<v Speaker 2>No, I think he did. So Yeah, Finally they were like,

0:26:14.119 --> 0:26:17.320
<v Speaker 2>this is weird. They didn't know any family, so they

0:26:17.359 --> 0:26:19.359
<v Speaker 2>called the police. The police knocked down the door. They

0:26:19.400 --> 0:26:22.200
<v Speaker 2>found her passed away, and Biggie was locked in the backyard.

0:26:22.200 --> 0:26:24.240
<v Speaker 2>And I do think he went to a clinic for

0:26:24.400 --> 0:26:27.880
<v Speaker 2>heat stroke. I was treated for heat stroke. So yeah,

0:26:27.920 --> 0:26:31.320
<v Speaker 2>he was a fighter, and he loved food until his

0:26:31.560 --> 0:26:33.840
<v Speaker 2>very last breath. And I will say this because a

0:26:33.880 --> 0:26:35.720
<v Speaker 2>lot of people, and I know I've talked about this before,

0:26:35.760 --> 0:26:37.679
<v Speaker 2>but a lot of people will say, Okay, I'm going

0:26:37.680 --> 0:26:40.040
<v Speaker 2>to monitor their quality of life. When my pet stops eating,

0:26:40.119 --> 0:26:42.040
<v Speaker 2>that's when I'll know it's time. And I'm here to

0:26:42.080 --> 0:26:44.880
<v Speaker 2>tell you that, sadly, like that can't be the only

0:26:44.920 --> 0:26:48.280
<v Speaker 2>thing that we take into consideration, because Biggie's a perfect example.

0:26:48.600 --> 0:26:51.119
<v Speaker 2>He was in full throttle heart failure. He had a

0:26:51.160 --> 0:26:55.240
<v Speaker 2>fluid in his chest, medications weren't keeping up with that anymore,

0:26:56.520 --> 0:26:59.320
<v Speaker 2>and he crushed a number seven combo meal like he

0:26:59.359 --> 0:27:01.960
<v Speaker 2>would have eaten he would be eating forever and ever

0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:04.359
<v Speaker 2>and ever. But he didn't have a great quality of life.

0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:06.440
<v Speaker 2>Aside from that, he.

0:27:06.359 --> 0:27:09.880
<v Speaker 1>Had moments where you were like which made it very difficult.

0:27:10.000 --> 0:27:15.720
<v Speaker 1>But and I think realistically we probably could have delayed

0:27:15.720 --> 0:27:19.280
<v Speaker 1>it a little bit longer. But going back to the

0:27:19.320 --> 0:27:23.119
<v Speaker 1>whole catalyst of it was about to be really traumatic.

0:27:23.720 --> 0:27:27.000
<v Speaker 1>Not us, we can deal with us, but for him, Yeah,

0:27:27.520 --> 0:27:28.920
<v Speaker 1>he's waking up in the middle of night and feeling

0:27:28.960 --> 0:27:33.320
<v Speaker 1>like he's drowning. Yeah, like, that's who wants their dog

0:27:33.400 --> 0:27:37.399
<v Speaker 1>to go through that. So yeah, we're just like, let's

0:27:38.119 --> 0:27:40.760
<v Speaker 1>let's make the decision, knowing that he can't make the

0:27:40.800 --> 0:27:44.600
<v Speaker 1>decision for himself. But I do legitimately, at my core

0:27:44.720 --> 0:27:46.520
<v Speaker 1>feel like we made the right decision for him.

0:27:46.680 --> 0:27:49.800
<v Speaker 2>I agree. I also want to say that you will

0:27:49.920 --> 0:27:53.919
<v Speaker 2>never ever feel completely ready. I don't know a single person,

0:27:54.000 --> 0:27:56.480
<v Speaker 2>and maybe some people do, but I certainly can say that,

0:27:56.560 --> 0:28:00.119
<v Speaker 2>like I don't have many owners that ever feel one

0:28:00.200 --> 0:28:02.600
<v Speaker 2>hundred percent certain. You're always going to have some doubt.

0:28:03.200 --> 0:28:05.359
<v Speaker 2>There's always going to be oh, should I wait another day,

0:28:05.400 --> 0:28:06.960
<v Speaker 2>should I give it a little bit more time? Have

0:28:07.040 --> 0:28:08.960
<v Speaker 2>I done everything I could do? Did they know that

0:28:09.040 --> 0:28:11.560
<v Speaker 2>I love them? So you're you're gonna have a lot

0:28:11.560 --> 0:28:14.239
<v Speaker 2>of questions. You're never going to feel completely ready, And

0:28:14.320 --> 0:28:16.320
<v Speaker 2>so again I just can't stress how important it is

0:28:16.359 --> 0:28:18.639
<v Speaker 2>to rely on your veterinarian and rely on your partner,

0:28:19.000 --> 0:28:22.679
<v Speaker 2>have someone else help you making that decision. I do

0:28:22.760 --> 0:28:26.119
<v Speaker 2>want to talk a little bit about our specific euthanasia

0:28:26.160 --> 0:28:31.760
<v Speaker 2>experience with Biggie. I think everyone is different, and maybe

0:28:31.760 --> 0:28:33.280
<v Speaker 2>it's you know, I feel like we think it's kind

0:28:33.280 --> 0:28:36.639
<v Speaker 2>of tappy to talk about death and euthanasia, but like

0:28:36.680 --> 0:28:41.760
<v Speaker 2>I said, everyone experiences it. So we decided to euthanize

0:28:41.800 --> 0:28:45.000
<v Speaker 2>at home. Some people go into the clinic to euthanize,

0:28:45.000 --> 0:28:46.760
<v Speaker 2>some people will do it in their home. It's really

0:28:46.840 --> 0:28:50.400
<v Speaker 2>kind of wherever your most comfortable. I chose this for

0:28:50.560 --> 0:28:52.960
<v Speaker 2>him because he's most comfortable at home. He did not

0:28:53.120 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 2>like going to the vet clinic. And I'm even his vet,

0:28:56.000 --> 0:28:59.120
<v Speaker 2>so I don't know what that says. So we decided

0:28:59.160 --> 0:29:02.040
<v Speaker 2>to do it at home. Lucky in that one of

0:29:02.080 --> 0:29:05.080
<v Speaker 2>our best friends, Ellen, who also works with me. She's

0:29:05.120 --> 0:29:09.520
<v Speaker 2>my head nurse. She lives just around the corner, so

0:29:09.560 --> 0:29:11.880
<v Speaker 2>she was kind of able to come over and help

0:29:11.960 --> 0:29:15.240
<v Speaker 2>us through it. Usually what we do is will place

0:29:15.320 --> 0:29:17.680
<v Speaker 2>an IVY catheter in their arm. That way we have

0:29:17.760 --> 0:29:23.560
<v Speaker 2>access to their vein. In Biggie's case, he hates to

0:29:23.640 --> 0:29:27.320
<v Speaker 2>have his paws touched. We were we couldn't trim a

0:29:27.360 --> 0:29:32.000
<v Speaker 2>single tonail on this guy. I mean, he's the hands

0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:34.320
<v Speaker 2>down the worst dog I've ever had for a tonail trim.

0:29:34.360 --> 0:29:36.080
<v Speaker 2>And I'm not just saying my dog. I'm saying, like

0:29:36.320 --> 0:29:38.120
<v Speaker 2>all my patients, all the dogs I take care of.

0:29:38.200 --> 0:29:40.880
<v Speaker 1>Ever, Well, yeah, I love how you threw in that

0:29:40.920 --> 0:29:43.240
<v Speaker 1>caveat for a toenail trim. Like if he was twenty

0:29:43.320 --> 0:29:46.840
<v Speaker 1>pounds heavier, he wouldn't have made it as long as

0:29:46.840 --> 0:29:49.240
<v Speaker 1>he did. Because, once again, if you had a posable

0:29:49.240 --> 0:29:51.680
<v Speaker 1>thumbs to swear to God, eighty percent of the people

0:29:51.680 --> 0:29:52.640
<v Speaker 1>who walked through the door.

0:29:52.480 --> 0:29:55.960
<v Speaker 2>Would have been checked. Now he sounds so bad, Oh

0:29:56.000 --> 0:29:58.680
<v Speaker 2>he was. He was a bad boy, the best worst

0:29:58.720 --> 0:30:00.800
<v Speaker 2>dog ever heavier.

0:30:01.320 --> 0:30:05.160
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, there's no way he would have made it this long.

0:30:05.240 --> 0:30:06.680
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, the guy had to fight.

0:30:08.000 --> 0:30:12.080
<v Speaker 2>He had passion, passion, and god did he have some

0:30:12.160 --> 0:30:17.080
<v Speaker 2>grinch toes on his little fuzzy grinch toes. He hated

0:30:17.160 --> 0:30:19.080
<v Speaker 2>having his toes. So I was like, Okay, how in

0:30:19.080 --> 0:30:20.800
<v Speaker 2>the heck am I going to get an ivy catheter

0:30:20.920 --> 0:30:22.880
<v Speaker 2>in this dog? Because I have to hold their paw

0:30:23.520 --> 0:30:25.280
<v Speaker 2>and get the catheter in. So I'm like, this is

0:30:25.280 --> 0:30:26.720
<v Speaker 2>going to be really bad, and I don't want to

0:30:26.760 --> 0:30:30.000
<v Speaker 2>stress him out anymore, Like I need our final moments

0:30:30.040 --> 0:30:33.040
<v Speaker 2>to be peaceful together. So we decided to give him

0:30:33.080 --> 0:30:37.120
<v Speaker 2>some injectable sedation, which just makes them like a little drunk.

0:30:37.240 --> 0:30:40.400
<v Speaker 2>That way, they're not as stressed about when we're touching them.

0:30:40.600 --> 0:30:49.000
<v Speaker 2>So we give him, Yeah, relax them exactly. So I'm

0:30:49.120 --> 0:30:51.920
<v Speaker 2>holding him, you're feeding him in mcflurry. Ellen gives him

0:30:51.960 --> 0:30:55.320
<v Speaker 2>his shot in the butt and then he got on.

0:30:55.480 --> 0:30:56.280
<v Speaker 2>He won last bite.

0:30:56.280 --> 0:30:58.440
<v Speaker 1>The last ten minutes of his life he drew blood again.

0:31:00.200 --> 0:31:01.960
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, he did get you a little bit. Ohah, no,

0:31:02.040 --> 0:31:04.040
<v Speaker 2>so you're gonna I don't want to say anything bad

0:31:04.080 --> 0:31:06.600
<v Speaker 2>about him. I want to remember him. He was very

0:31:06.640 --> 0:31:13.840
<v Speaker 2>he was perfect, and he got really drunk really quick.

0:31:14.000 --> 0:31:17.080
<v Speaker 2>Usually in an injection in the muscle, so like in

0:31:17.120 --> 0:31:20.720
<v Speaker 2>the butt can take anywhere from like five to fifteen

0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:23.440
<v Speaker 2>minutes to kick in. In his case, I think it

0:31:23.440 --> 0:31:24.600
<v Speaker 2>took like thirty seconds.

0:31:24.880 --> 0:31:27.960
<v Speaker 1>That was the most traumatic part of it, because you

0:31:28.000 --> 0:31:32.040
<v Speaker 1>had stepped out to do something so injection. I was

0:31:32.080 --> 0:31:35.920
<v Speaker 1>feeding him the mcflurry. Josie walks out, and then like

0:31:36.520 --> 0:31:39.720
<v Speaker 1>fifteen seconds later, I was like, this guy is really

0:31:40.360 --> 0:31:43.719
<v Speaker 1>messed up, like falling over legs, going wide, couldn't even

0:31:43.800 --> 0:31:45.560
<v Speaker 1>keep his head up to eat the mcflurry. No, granted,

0:31:45.600 --> 0:31:47.320
<v Speaker 1>he was still eating it right like. He was like,

0:31:47.400 --> 0:31:50.200
<v Speaker 1>let's go to town on this head oreos and of course,

0:31:51.080 --> 0:31:53.720
<v Speaker 1>uh And then I called you. I was like, there's

0:31:53.760 --> 0:31:54.360
<v Speaker 1>something wrong.

0:31:54.760 --> 0:31:58.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, So I came running back upstairs and he was

0:31:58.760 --> 0:32:00.560
<v Speaker 2>getting really dysporic. So I was like, okay, Wow, the

0:32:00.600 --> 0:32:03.760
<v Speaker 2>sedation's kicking in really quickly. I go to scoop them up.

0:32:04.000 --> 0:32:05.760
<v Speaker 2>We walk into the living room We're sitting in the

0:32:05.800 --> 0:32:11.400
<v Speaker 2>living room with him, and about sixty seconds later, you know,

0:32:11.440 --> 0:32:15.160
<v Speaker 2>I feel him taking some deep breaths. He's relaxing, the

0:32:15.200 --> 0:32:17.640
<v Speaker 2>sedation is working, and I look at you and I say,

0:32:17.640 --> 0:32:21.719
<v Speaker 2>I think he's gonna pass away from the sedation. And

0:32:21.760 --> 0:32:23.680
<v Speaker 2>we just sat there and stared at him. And thirty

0:32:23.680 --> 0:32:29.760
<v Speaker 2>seconds later he had passed away, which was for me, sorry,

0:32:29.760 --> 0:32:33.120
<v Speaker 2>go ahead, we're you gonna say something for me. I

0:32:33.320 --> 0:32:36.440
<v Speaker 2>have never I've worked in a VAT clinic for twenty years,

0:32:36.640 --> 0:32:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I have never had a patient pass from the pre meds.

0:32:40.520 --> 0:32:44.320
<v Speaker 2>We almost always will, you know, give them a little sedation,

0:32:44.400 --> 0:32:48.040
<v Speaker 2>put the IVY cathterin, then we push some propofall, which

0:32:48.080 --> 0:32:51.000
<v Speaker 2>is like going under anesthesia, and then from there we'll

0:32:51.040 --> 0:32:52.880
<v Speaker 2>give them. Once they're nice and under, we give them

0:32:52.920 --> 0:32:56.440
<v Speaker 2>the euthanasia and they, like, very peacefully drift to sleep.

0:32:57.240 --> 0:32:59.200
<v Speaker 2>We didn't even get a chance to put his catheterin

0:32:59.360 --> 0:33:01.760
<v Speaker 2>or give him proper vault or euthanasia. He passed from

0:33:01.800 --> 0:33:05.840
<v Speaker 2>his sedation, which for me was really twofold. I didn't

0:33:05.880 --> 0:33:07.600
<v Speaker 2>know how to feel about that. In the moment, I

0:33:07.680 --> 0:33:09.760
<v Speaker 2>was like, WHOA, Like I thought I had another twenty

0:33:09.800 --> 0:33:13.800
<v Speaker 2>minutes to like say a proper I mean I'd already

0:33:13.840 --> 0:33:15.600
<v Speaker 2>said goodbye, but you know, you just have this plan

0:33:15.680 --> 0:33:17.320
<v Speaker 2>in your head of like, oh, I have twenty more minutes,

0:33:17.320 --> 0:33:19.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm gonna say him goodbye, like I'm going to be

0:33:19.160 --> 0:33:22.880
<v Speaker 2>telling him goodbye as he's getting the euthanasia. And I

0:33:22.920 --> 0:33:26.320
<v Speaker 2>didn't get that, which is fine. It's not about me,

0:33:26.400 --> 0:33:29.800
<v Speaker 2>it's about him. It just you know, when you have

0:33:29.840 --> 0:33:31.520
<v Speaker 2>something in your head and it doesn't go to plan.

0:33:32.160 --> 0:33:35.960
<v Speaker 2>I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't super stressed,

0:33:35.960 --> 0:33:36.840
<v Speaker 2>and I don't think he was.

0:33:38.280 --> 0:33:40.920
<v Speaker 1>I don't think he was either, because you were holding

0:33:41.000 --> 0:33:42.280
<v Speaker 1>him and I was looking at him, and you were like,

0:33:42.320 --> 0:33:43.880
<v Speaker 1>I think he's going to pass. I was like, honey,

0:33:44.920 --> 0:33:47.960
<v Speaker 1>I think he already has or was in the process

0:33:47.960 --> 0:33:51.120
<v Speaker 1>of it. But the way I justified in my head

0:33:51.720 --> 0:33:58.360
<v Speaker 1>is he was just constantly fighting to breathe fighting to

0:33:59.400 --> 0:34:01.360
<v Speaker 1>become to and then he just.

0:34:01.320 --> 0:34:03.360
<v Speaker 3>Got a little edge where that edge was.

0:34:03.360 --> 0:34:06.920
<v Speaker 1>Like I can finally relax, and like in his eyes

0:34:07.520 --> 0:34:10.560
<v Speaker 1>at that time, he just like went to sleep, and

0:34:10.600 --> 0:34:13.879
<v Speaker 1>probably in a more peaceful way than putting in an IV,

0:34:14.120 --> 0:34:17.160
<v Speaker 1>putting more drugs into him, stressing him out. I think

0:34:17.160 --> 0:34:19.080
<v Speaker 1>he went out on his terms, and I think he

0:34:19.160 --> 0:34:22.200
<v Speaker 1>just was like, this is great. I'm gonna close my eyes,

0:34:22.200 --> 0:34:24.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna stop breathing in true biggie fashion.

0:34:24.560 --> 0:34:29.399
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, all that to say, I just I think afterwards,

0:34:29.440 --> 0:34:33.839
<v Speaker 2>like maybe I'm desensitized it from it because I see

0:34:33.880 --> 0:34:36.279
<v Speaker 2>it all the time. But I do think that if

0:34:36.320 --> 0:34:38.960
<v Speaker 2>you leave your pets youth in Asia and you're like,

0:34:39.040 --> 0:34:42.880
<v Speaker 2>oh my gosh, like that didn't go as I expected,

0:34:43.080 --> 0:34:45.160
<v Speaker 2>or they yelped when they got the shot, or they

0:34:45.400 --> 0:34:49.080
<v Speaker 2>were fidgeting a bunch for their catheter, I guess you know,

0:34:49.120 --> 0:34:51.319
<v Speaker 2>it's never going to be one hundred percent perfect for

0:34:51.400 --> 0:34:53.239
<v Speaker 2>how we envision it, and I think you're always gonna

0:34:53.280 --> 0:34:55.960
<v Speaker 2>leave with a little bit of like, oh my gosh,

0:34:56.200 --> 0:34:58.280
<v Speaker 2>like did I make the right decision? Did it go okay?

0:34:59.160 --> 0:35:02.400
<v Speaker 2>I think it's normal have some level of like uncertainty,

0:35:02.400 --> 0:35:04.759
<v Speaker 2>and I just I am a veterinarian and I even

0:35:04.800 --> 0:35:07.680
<v Speaker 2>have that, you know, feeling after leaving it with him.

0:35:07.800 --> 0:35:11.960
<v Speaker 2>So I guess if you feel that, just you're not

0:35:12.040 --> 0:35:14.640
<v Speaker 2>alone in that at all, and feeling a little bit

0:35:14.680 --> 0:35:18.440
<v Speaker 2>of guilt potentially is very normal. And the other interesting

0:35:19.160 --> 0:35:22.959
<v Speaker 2>feeling that I have felt, or that I immediately felt

0:35:23.000 --> 0:35:25.319
<v Speaker 2>I would say that I was like, oh my gosh,

0:35:25.320 --> 0:35:26.920
<v Speaker 2>I can't believe I'm feeling this was a little bit

0:35:26.920 --> 0:35:30.680
<v Speaker 2>of relief, just knowing that, Okay, he's not suffering anymore.

0:35:30.719 --> 0:35:33.880
<v Speaker 2>We finally made the decision. Making the decision is so hard,

0:35:34.600 --> 0:35:37.000
<v Speaker 2>So making that decision once you've made it, and being like, Okay,

0:35:37.000 --> 0:35:39.360
<v Speaker 2>now he's at peace. So feeling a little bit of relief.

0:35:39.719 --> 0:35:44.399
<v Speaker 2>I was obviously devastated, heartbroken, but also feeling a little

0:35:44.440 --> 0:35:48.640
<v Speaker 2>bit of that too. Yeah, I am The other thing

0:35:48.640 --> 0:35:50.480
<v Speaker 2>that people don't talk about that I think is so

0:35:50.560 --> 0:35:54.960
<v Speaker 2>interesting and maybe just this go around, because obviously with

0:35:54.960 --> 0:35:56.920
<v Speaker 2>euthanized Luca, but this go around, I've really been like

0:35:56.960 --> 0:36:02.200
<v Speaker 2>thinking about it a lot. Is that following day after

0:36:02.320 --> 0:36:05.839
<v Speaker 2>euthanasia feels to me like maybe the worst of it all.

0:36:05.880 --> 0:36:08.680
<v Speaker 2>I feel like the day of you're like making this

0:36:08.760 --> 0:36:12.319
<v Speaker 2>terrible decision, You're having to say bye, like you're I mean,

0:36:12.360 --> 0:36:14.600
<v Speaker 2>for me, I'm like crying hysterically. It's like a fever

0:36:14.680 --> 0:36:17.239
<v Speaker 2>dream kind of. Then you get home and then the

0:36:17.280 --> 0:36:20.080
<v Speaker 2>next day you wake up and it's almost like I

0:36:20.120 --> 0:36:22.320
<v Speaker 2>woke up the next morning and like for the first

0:36:22.360 --> 0:36:24.880
<v Speaker 2>few eyeblinks, I'm like, oh, yeah, everything's normal, Biggie, Like

0:36:24.920 --> 0:36:27.480
<v Speaker 2>my life is normal, Biggie's here, and then you just

0:36:27.520 --> 0:36:31.239
<v Speaker 2>remember like okay, yeah, Biggie's dead, and it's just like

0:36:31.280 --> 0:36:34.080
<v Speaker 2>this gut wrenching, like having to just like go on

0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:36.640
<v Speaker 2>with life, feeling this extreme grief.

0:36:37.920 --> 0:36:42.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and just going back making a terrible decision. I

0:36:42.760 --> 0:36:44.960
<v Speaker 1>don't think we made a terrible decision. We made the

0:36:45.040 --> 0:36:46.320
<v Speaker 1>right decision.

0:36:45.960 --> 0:36:48.600
<v Speaker 2>For him, A hard decision, a.

0:36:48.600 --> 0:36:54.759
<v Speaker 1>Hard decision for us. But the way he passed, the

0:36:54.800 --> 0:36:59.200
<v Speaker 1>way he was progressing in the disease, it was exactly

0:36:59.239 --> 0:37:01.839
<v Speaker 1>how it was supposed to be. But the next day, yes,

0:37:02.040 --> 0:37:06.359
<v Speaker 1>you just it hasn't sunk in yet. You're almost in disbelief.

0:37:06.400 --> 0:37:12.040
<v Speaker 1>You're in the stages of grief. Yeah you so I

0:37:12.080 --> 0:37:12.680
<v Speaker 1>saw that too.

0:37:14.000 --> 0:37:16.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah. I think it's like, Okay, it happens. It's like

0:37:16.440 --> 0:37:20.720
<v Speaker 2>this somewhat climac climactic event. And then it's the following

0:37:20.840 --> 0:37:22.840
<v Speaker 2>days that I find are the most challenging. And so

0:37:23.640 --> 0:37:25.759
<v Speaker 2>you wake up and his little stairs are by the bed,

0:37:25.800 --> 0:37:28.600
<v Speaker 2>and it's just like what do we do with the stairs,

0:37:28.640 --> 0:37:30.200
<v Speaker 2>Like do we throw them away? Do we move them?

0:37:30.239 --> 0:37:33.000
<v Speaker 2>Like his hairs are on my pillow. I go in

0:37:33.040 --> 0:37:35.120
<v Speaker 2>the morning to feed the dogs, and I grab three

0:37:35.160 --> 0:37:38.160
<v Speaker 2>bowls instead of two, Like just your whole life, this

0:37:38.360 --> 0:37:41.560
<v Speaker 2>like major part of your life. There's just this massive

0:37:41.600 --> 0:37:44.280
<v Speaker 2>void now. I mean it's just true and utter grief

0:37:45.680 --> 0:37:50.799
<v Speaker 2>and just having to navigate through it. It's horrible. I

0:37:50.840 --> 0:37:54.040
<v Speaker 2>definitely like have such a new empathy for my clients

0:37:54.080 --> 0:37:57.720
<v Speaker 2>that are single or don't have a partner in life,

0:37:58.000 --> 0:38:00.560
<v Speaker 2>or are widowed, whatever it may be. Because I relied

0:38:00.600 --> 0:38:03.359
<v Speaker 2>heavily on you, I would say, yeah, through that, you're

0:38:03.400 --> 0:38:04.719
<v Speaker 2>so strong, So thank you.

0:38:05.040 --> 0:38:07.480
<v Speaker 1>I think the other like, I don't know if it's

0:38:07.520 --> 0:38:11.399
<v Speaker 1>like super well set up on after that, because then

0:38:11.760 --> 0:38:15.480
<v Speaker 1>you have the they come and creamate in and then

0:38:15.520 --> 0:38:17.799
<v Speaker 1>the next day they're like delivering a box and like

0:38:17.840 --> 0:38:20.400
<v Speaker 1>everybody's sending flowers, which is like really generous and like

0:38:20.760 --> 0:38:23.080
<v Speaker 1>I very much appreciate that everybody did that, but it's

0:38:23.120 --> 0:38:25.200
<v Speaker 1>like kind of just a constant reminder.

0:38:25.680 --> 0:38:27.160
<v Speaker 3>And then they're like so quick to give you the

0:38:27.200 --> 0:38:28.160
<v Speaker 3>ashes and.

0:38:28.080 --> 0:38:28.840
<v Speaker 1>You're just like.

0:38:30.640 --> 0:38:34.440
<v Speaker 3>Maybe just wait a week, you think, yeah, like.

0:38:34.360 --> 0:38:35.640
<v Speaker 1>And then they show up at the door and they're

0:38:35.640 --> 0:38:38.200
<v Speaker 1>like we're bringing big home. I'm like, oh, well, here

0:38:38.239 --> 0:38:40.360
<v Speaker 1>comes the water works. It happened and again I know.

0:38:42.160 --> 0:38:44.959
<v Speaker 3>I was like, just just give me a week.

0:38:45.080 --> 0:38:48.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't, but that's interesting. I feel like we could

0:38:48.200 --> 0:38:52.200
<v Speaker 2>ask the crematorium to do that. I think it's like

0:38:52.680 --> 0:38:54.600
<v Speaker 2>great service that they bring it to you the next day.

0:38:54.680 --> 0:38:55.640
<v Speaker 3>I mean the nicest people.

0:38:55.800 --> 0:38:58.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and they're like, you know, they're they come to

0:38:58.040 --> 0:39:02.520
<v Speaker 1>the door, they're crying. I'm like, and you, I did

0:39:02.520 --> 0:39:04.759
<v Speaker 1>it without you telling you when they were coming, because

0:39:04.760 --> 0:39:06.799
<v Speaker 1>I was like trying to like kind of shield that.

0:39:07.480 --> 0:39:09.840
<v Speaker 1>And they're like, we're here to bring biggie home.

0:39:10.280 --> 0:39:12.239
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh, I hate that. I can't even think

0:39:12.280 --> 0:39:12.600
<v Speaker 2>about it.

0:39:12.600 --> 0:39:14.480
<v Speaker 3>I just can please shut up?

0:39:15.200 --> 0:39:18.320
<v Speaker 1>Like I know you're so sweet and you're like you're

0:39:18.480 --> 0:39:20.759
<v Speaker 1>really thoughtful, but like I just I just need to

0:39:20.800 --> 0:39:21.959
<v Speaker 1>cry and.

0:39:21.880 --> 0:39:24.400
<v Speaker 3>Look yeah, like for a few minutes.

0:39:24.520 --> 0:39:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it is really sad. Some places, some VET clinics

0:39:28.160 --> 0:39:31.640
<v Speaker 2>will hold the ashes for you, which is nice. Yeah,

0:39:31.840 --> 0:39:33.600
<v Speaker 2>so it doesn't have to they don't have to come

0:39:33.600 --> 0:39:36.040
<v Speaker 2>home the next day, but yeah, the following days after.

0:39:35.960 --> 0:39:39.560
<v Speaker 1>To me prints the paw princess and like, awful, his

0:39:39.719 --> 0:39:40.719
<v Speaker 1>hair is stuck to it.

0:39:41.120 --> 0:39:44.640
<v Speaker 2>I this might be weird. I don't know if this

0:39:44.760 --> 0:39:47.520
<v Speaker 2>is weird or not, but I have I can't bring

0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:49.920
<v Speaker 2>myself to put his pawprint like up on a shelf,

0:39:50.600 --> 0:39:53.439
<v Speaker 2>So it's sitting on my nightstand, my bedstand, right next

0:39:53.440 --> 0:39:55.480
<v Speaker 2>to my bed and like I'm a freak. Like every

0:39:55.560 --> 0:39:58.120
<v Speaker 2>night I just like put my little finger on the pall,

0:39:59.040 --> 0:40:02.640
<v Speaker 2>like tell him good night. And I know now I'm

0:40:02.680 --> 0:40:04.680
<v Speaker 2>like people are gonna think I'm so weird. I don't care.

0:40:05.239 --> 0:40:07.400
<v Speaker 2>He was the love of my life. And his little

0:40:07.400 --> 0:40:11.040
<v Speaker 2>hairs like somehow got into the clay Grinch toes.

0:40:11.200 --> 0:40:12.640
<v Speaker 3>I mean, we need to upload a photo of his

0:40:12.640 --> 0:40:13.360
<v Speaker 3>Grinch shoes.

0:40:13.120 --> 0:40:18.240
<v Speaker 1>Because they was cute. He was cute, like at first,

0:40:18.320 --> 0:40:22.920
<v Speaker 1>not cute, but like his toes, he was so beautiful, hideous,

0:40:23.200 --> 0:40:27.040
<v Speaker 1>Like if you the movie The Grinch, it's a perfect image.

0:40:27.040 --> 0:40:28.160
<v Speaker 1>Like if we could have died him green.

0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:30.879
<v Speaker 2>He had such beautiful fur and hair.

0:40:31.160 --> 0:40:31.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:34.640
<v Speaker 2>Remember one time in the summer, this is when he

0:40:34.680 --> 0:40:39.040
<v Speaker 2>had first gotten diagnosed with heart disease and I'm such

0:40:39.040 --> 0:40:42.160
<v Speaker 2>a crazy dog mom, and our ac went out and

0:40:42.200 --> 0:40:44.719
<v Speaker 2>he was so high. It was August in Tennessee. He's

0:40:44.760 --> 0:40:48.160
<v Speaker 2>like kind of panting. I'm like, okay, like the AC's out,

0:40:48.200 --> 0:40:49.760
<v Speaker 2>I need to keep him cool, Like what the hell's

0:40:49.800 --> 0:40:51.319
<v Speaker 2>going on? And you're on a work call, and I

0:40:51.400 --> 0:40:53.239
<v Speaker 2>go back to the bathroom and I take clippers and

0:40:53.280 --> 0:40:56.160
<v Speaker 2>I give him a full throttle buzz cut. And this

0:40:56.200 --> 0:40:58.719
<v Speaker 2>dog had long, beautiful hair. And the next thing I

0:40:58.760 --> 0:41:00.520
<v Speaker 2>know is you're on your call and like, look at

0:41:00.520 --> 0:41:02.840
<v Speaker 2>what I did. And he's running by you. And his

0:41:02.920 --> 0:41:05.040
<v Speaker 2>head is like a fluffy ball like Maine, and the

0:41:05.040 --> 0:41:07.560
<v Speaker 2>rest of his body is like a naked mule rat.

0:41:07.320 --> 0:41:07.879
<v Speaker 1>Like a hot dog.

0:41:07.920 --> 0:41:09.960
<v Speaker 3>He looked like in like an over.

0:41:09.800 --> 0:41:10.560
<v Speaker 1>Stuffed hot dog.

0:41:11.239 --> 0:41:14.759
<v Speaker 3>You were like, oh my god, we're gonna have to

0:41:14.800 --> 0:41:15.560
<v Speaker 3>hide him for a while.

0:41:16.440 --> 0:41:17.480
<v Speaker 2>He loved his haircut.

0:41:18.239 --> 0:41:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I think that was the same time. Then we would

0:41:19.640 --> 0:41:20.960
<v Speaker 1>take him out on walks and people would be like,

0:41:20.960 --> 0:41:23.080
<v Speaker 1>did you get a third dog? And we're like, I no, no, no,

0:41:23.160 --> 0:41:24.879
<v Speaker 1>he's been here longer than the other two.

0:41:25.320 --> 0:41:27.479
<v Speaker 2>He's been here forever. He just doesn't like to walk

0:41:27.480 --> 0:41:30.960
<v Speaker 2>in the heat. He has heart disease. Okay, oh my gosh. Yeah,

0:41:30.960 --> 0:41:35.359
<v Speaker 2>he had such beautiful for anyways. Beautiful, Yeah, I guess,

0:41:35.400 --> 0:41:37.359
<v Speaker 2>like I do know other owners that like keep their

0:41:37.400 --> 0:41:39.880
<v Speaker 2>ashes in the earth. They never spread them. Like whatever

0:41:39.960 --> 0:41:42.040
<v Speaker 2>you need to do to feel good, If you want

0:41:42.040 --> 0:41:45.200
<v Speaker 2>to put that popprint on your nightstand and kiss it

0:41:45.239 --> 0:41:48.359
<v Speaker 2>good night every night. You do what you need to do.

0:41:48.440 --> 0:41:52.120
<v Speaker 2>Because I'm laughing right now. I'm like I was talking

0:41:52.120 --> 0:41:53.719
<v Speaker 2>to Morgan, I was like, am I gonna cry during

0:41:53.719 --> 0:41:55.560
<v Speaker 2>this episode? I feel like I'm like a little like

0:41:55.719 --> 0:41:59.000
<v Speaker 2>maybe dad inside right now, I don't know all my tears,

0:41:59.120 --> 0:42:02.839
<v Speaker 2>have no tears left. I cried so much, but yeah,

0:42:02.840 --> 0:42:04.520
<v Speaker 2>whatever you need to do to get through, because there's

0:42:04.520 --> 0:42:08.080
<v Speaker 2>really no worst grief in the world. And I've said

0:42:08.080 --> 0:42:09.759
<v Speaker 2>it once, I'll say it again. I have had so

0:42:09.840 --> 0:42:12.719
<v Speaker 2>many people say I didn't cry this much when my

0:42:12.800 --> 0:42:15.440
<v Speaker 2>mom died. I didn't cry this much when my grandma died.

0:42:15.680 --> 0:42:19.839
<v Speaker 2>And I'm telling you it's because they are like your

0:42:19.880 --> 0:42:21.799
<v Speaker 2>mom and your grandma don't get into bed with you

0:42:21.840 --> 0:42:23.879
<v Speaker 2>every single night like they are not It's such an

0:42:23.880 --> 0:42:25.200
<v Speaker 2>intimate relationship.

0:42:25.800 --> 0:42:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I would have preferred Biggie not getting into bed with

0:42:28.040 --> 0:42:32.719
<v Speaker 1>us every night. But lost that fight too, you did.

0:42:32.560 --> 0:42:35.120
<v Speaker 2>And I'm sure there will be another before you know it.

0:42:35.320 --> 0:42:39.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean he was, Yeah, he was constantly there.

0:42:40.239 --> 0:42:42.120
<v Speaker 3>He was a shadow to you.

0:42:42.440 --> 0:42:47.520
<v Speaker 1>He was always in your shadow, running around after you.

0:42:47.520 --> 0:42:50.920
<v Speaker 1>Your relationship with him was twenty four to seven and

0:42:50.960 --> 0:42:53.760
<v Speaker 1>my relationship with him was when you weren't around.

0:42:56.880 --> 0:42:58.759
<v Speaker 3>So he was.

0:42:58.960 --> 0:43:04.080
<v Speaker 1>He was full of life, he was a fighter. He

0:43:04.160 --> 0:43:07.959
<v Speaker 1>brought me a tremendous amount of joy. He also brought

0:43:07.960 --> 0:43:13.160
<v Speaker 1>me a tremendous amount of headache. But at the end

0:43:13.160 --> 0:43:17.799
<v Speaker 1>of the day, we made the right decision, and I

0:43:17.800 --> 0:43:21.480
<v Speaker 1>think the aftermath and the grief that came from it

0:43:21.560 --> 0:43:28.200
<v Speaker 1>was just the normal phases of grief, where if we

0:43:28.200 --> 0:43:29.880
<v Speaker 1>were to do it all again, I don't think we

0:43:29.920 --> 0:43:30.759
<v Speaker 1>would have changed the thing.

0:43:31.000 --> 0:43:33.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I agree. Everyone asked me, are you going to

0:43:33.960 --> 0:43:35.160
<v Speaker 2>get a third dog? Are you going to get a

0:43:35.200 --> 0:43:38.880
<v Speaker 2>third dog? Well, I won't be telling you before we do.

0:43:39.200 --> 0:43:43.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm just kidding. I don't know. I don't really even

0:43:43.560 --> 0:43:46.160
<v Speaker 2>feel like I am ready for that at all.

0:43:46.200 --> 0:43:48.759
<v Speaker 1>It's a huge void to fill. Yeah, he was.

0:43:49.120 --> 0:43:51.080
<v Speaker 3>He was the personality of the house and he was

0:43:51.120 --> 0:43:51.480
<v Speaker 3>the boss.

0:43:51.480 --> 0:43:53.719
<v Speaker 1>He was. He was half the weight of Siah and

0:43:54.040 --> 0:43:56.279
<v Speaker 1>a tenth of the way of Oakley or a fifth

0:43:56.280 --> 0:43:59.760
<v Speaker 1>of the way of Oakley. And he he ran the household.

0:43:59.800 --> 0:44:02.160
<v Speaker 3>He was the he was the mafia boss of this,

0:44:02.600 --> 0:44:03.360
<v Speaker 3>the total boss.

0:44:03.440 --> 0:44:05.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, and I think I need a breather.

0:44:07.040 --> 0:44:08.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And it's just you know, you're never going to

0:44:08.640 --> 0:44:11.839
<v Speaker 1>get a dog to fill that void. And I think

0:44:12.080 --> 0:44:16.440
<v Speaker 1>taking a few weeks months here, maybe a little bit longer,

0:44:16.480 --> 0:44:21.640
<v Speaker 1>we'll see, because we don't want to fill that void

0:44:21.880 --> 0:44:25.600
<v Speaker 1>because nothing will come close to him, like we'll have

0:44:25.680 --> 0:44:31.760
<v Speaker 1>to go so dramatically like another syah, right, she's perfect.

0:44:32.520 --> 0:44:35.320
<v Speaker 2>I also think too, like I never really go seeking

0:44:35.360 --> 0:44:37.520
<v Speaker 2>them out too much. They tend to just find us.

0:44:37.600 --> 0:44:41.080
<v Speaker 2>So whatever, if an animal that needs a home that

0:44:41.160 --> 0:44:44.080
<v Speaker 2>nobody else wants, I'll take it. We'll wait and see

0:44:44.200 --> 0:44:46.279
<v Speaker 2>what that is and when it's meant to be in

0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:49.320
<v Speaker 2>our life. I will say, if you only have one.

0:44:49.160 --> 0:44:51.759
<v Speaker 3>Pet, that would be hard.

0:44:52.800 --> 0:44:54.600
<v Speaker 2>You've got to take it back on the wagon or

0:44:54.719 --> 0:44:57.239
<v Speaker 2>just like get a second one, because I not if

0:44:57.280 --> 0:45:00.200
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have my other two to like be there

0:45:00.239 --> 0:45:01.759
<v Speaker 2>with me to get me through this. I don't know.

0:45:01.880 --> 0:45:03.360
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how people with one pet do it.

0:45:03.960 --> 0:45:08.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, that was a weird revelation too. After Biggie passed,

0:45:08.880 --> 0:45:10.239
<v Speaker 1>I was like, all right, let's bring the other dogs

0:45:10.239 --> 0:45:12.879
<v Speaker 1>so they can say they're goodbye. And at that exact moment,

0:45:12.920 --> 0:45:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I looked at you and I was like, I have

0:45:15.080 --> 0:45:17.520
<v Speaker 1>just come to the revelation that dogs cannot critically think

0:45:17.800 --> 0:45:22.399
<v Speaker 1>like they cannot recognize that he's not alive, and they.

0:45:22.280 --> 0:45:24.840
<v Speaker 2>Were just like totally unfazed, Right, where's the string cheese?

0:45:24.880 --> 0:45:28.600
<v Speaker 3>Totally unfaced, which is which is a great.

0:45:29.840 --> 0:45:34.279
<v Speaker 1>Bounce back from the trauma of letting go of a

0:45:34.360 --> 0:45:37.960
<v Speaker 1>pa of a dog, because Si would come up and

0:45:37.960 --> 0:45:39.759
<v Speaker 1>she'd be like what changed. She would be like a

0:45:39.800 --> 0:45:42.799
<v Speaker 1>grounding force where she's like, like, we would be sad,

0:45:42.840 --> 0:45:43.759
<v Speaker 1>but she's like I'm still here.

0:45:43.800 --> 0:45:47.040
<v Speaker 2>She's like, it's okay, I'm here. Yeah, I think it's

0:45:47.239 --> 0:45:51.360
<v Speaker 2>I like to give other pets the opportunity to say

0:45:51.440 --> 0:45:54.759
<v Speaker 2>goodbye to the animal. With that said, I don't know

0:45:54.800 --> 0:45:57.839
<v Speaker 2>that they should always be present for the euthanasia themselves.

0:45:58.200 --> 0:45:59.920
<v Speaker 2>You know, your pet's better than anyone, so if you

0:46:00.040 --> 0:46:02.279
<v Speaker 2>feel like they need to be present, of course, in

0:46:02.320 --> 0:46:04.319
<v Speaker 2>my experience, like I want my I want to have

0:46:04.400 --> 0:46:06.160
<v Speaker 2>one on one time with my pet, but I also

0:46:06.239 --> 0:46:09.200
<v Speaker 2>like to give my other pets the opportunity to at

0:46:09.239 --> 0:46:12.480
<v Speaker 2>least sniff them, like if they can even interpret that

0:46:12.800 --> 0:46:18.600
<v Speaker 2>we have determined that anxia in Oakley, we're unfazed. But

0:46:18.800 --> 0:46:20.239
<v Speaker 2>you know, I think it's nice at least like give

0:46:20.239 --> 0:46:23.040
<v Speaker 2>them the opportunity. But yeah, they certainly do not critically

0:46:23.040 --> 0:46:26.240
<v Speaker 2>think like humans do, and that is why we love them.

0:46:26.320 --> 0:46:29.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, it's very very pure. That's I was actually

0:46:29.920 --> 0:46:31.239
<v Speaker 1>just about to say that. I was like, that was

0:46:31.239 --> 0:46:33.400
<v Speaker 1>one of the more pure moments that I've seen because

0:46:35.000 --> 0:46:38.759
<v Speaker 1>they have spent years with Biggie, they love Biggie. And

0:46:38.800 --> 0:46:42.880
<v Speaker 1>then Biggie wasn't moving and they physically couldn't recognize it,

0:46:43.600 --> 0:46:45.359
<v Speaker 1>and they just went on with their day. They went

0:46:45.360 --> 0:46:47.799
<v Speaker 1>over the couch and got on it and fell asleep. Yeah,

0:46:47.880 --> 0:46:49.759
<v Speaker 1>was like, and I was at that moment, I was

0:46:49.800 --> 0:46:52.280
<v Speaker 1>like upset. I was like, you guys, this is your brother,

0:46:52.960 --> 0:46:55.880
<v Speaker 1>come say goodbye. It wasn't actually upset, but I was.

0:46:56.400 --> 0:47:01.040
<v Speaker 1>I was trying to digest it. And then I was like, well,

0:47:01.040 --> 0:47:05.239
<v Speaker 1>this is what's so pure about animals is yeah, they

0:47:05.320 --> 0:47:07.279
<v Speaker 1>might get a shot in the butt and yelp like

0:47:07.320 --> 0:47:10.279
<v Speaker 1>Biggie did, but thirty seconds later or three seconds later,

0:47:10.320 --> 0:47:12.000
<v Speaker 1>it was yeah, it was there and gone.

0:47:12.120 --> 0:47:13.759
<v Speaker 2>Yeah they're half glassful all the time.

0:47:14.000 --> 0:47:19.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, all the time. So that was that was peaceful.

0:47:21.160 --> 0:47:24.680
<v Speaker 2>Okay. I want to end this episode with an excerpt

0:47:24.760 --> 0:47:27.080
<v Speaker 2>that I read online. I can't I even put it

0:47:27.120 --> 0:47:30.400
<v Speaker 2>into chat GPT, which you know knows everything and I

0:47:30.440 --> 0:47:32.960
<v Speaker 2>can't find who the author is. So if you're the author,

0:47:33.080 --> 0:47:38.160
<v Speaker 2>let me know. It's been floating around. It's called you

0:47:38.200 --> 0:47:41.080
<v Speaker 2>do it anyway. I have to pull it up here,

0:47:41.600 --> 0:47:45.720
<v Speaker 2>and is this about Biggie No, no, no, no, no, no, okay,

0:47:45.760 --> 0:47:48.319
<v Speaker 2>it's an excerpt. You'll see what it is. It's I

0:47:48.360 --> 0:47:50.640
<v Speaker 2>don't know the exact context. I think I like to

0:47:50.719 --> 0:47:54.160
<v Speaker 2>envision it as it's a parent talking in the first person.

0:47:54.200 --> 0:47:57.520
<v Speaker 2>The parent is speaking to their child, Okay, and it's

0:47:57.560 --> 0:48:00.480
<v Speaker 2>called you do it anyway. Okay, ready, So you're going

0:48:00.520 --> 0:48:03.560
<v Speaker 2>to give them a lecture the listeners right now.

0:48:03.640 --> 0:48:06.520
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, nogie, Biggie spirit, you're gonna lecture.

0:48:06.719 --> 0:48:09.120
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no. This is just like a it's about

0:48:09.160 --> 0:48:10.640
<v Speaker 2>like loving a pet and euthanasia.

0:48:10.719 --> 0:48:11.080
<v Speaker 3>Got it.

0:48:12.719 --> 0:48:13.680
<v Speaker 2>Pipe down over there.

0:48:14.000 --> 0:48:14.320
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

0:48:15.880 --> 0:48:18.799
<v Speaker 2>So this is in the perspective of the appearan. It's

0:48:18.800 --> 0:48:21.960
<v Speaker 2>a risky thing, giving your heart to a dog, I said,

0:48:22.040 --> 0:48:25.000
<v Speaker 2>staring at the leash still hanging by the door, because

0:48:25.040 --> 0:48:27.720
<v Speaker 2>you know right from the start that they won't stay forever.

0:48:27.960 --> 0:48:30.360
<v Speaker 2>You sign up for an ending before you even begin.

0:48:31.320 --> 0:48:33.600
<v Speaker 2>She shifted in her chair, waiting. So I kept going.

0:48:34.160 --> 0:48:36.440
<v Speaker 2>But you do it anyway. You let them in. You

0:48:36.560 --> 0:48:38.680
<v Speaker 2>let them take up space in your home and your

0:48:38.800 --> 0:48:41.200
<v Speaker 2>routines and the parts of you that you didn't even

0:48:41.239 --> 0:48:44.600
<v Speaker 2>realize needed filling. And before you know it, they've got

0:48:44.600 --> 0:48:46.799
<v Speaker 2>a piece of you, one you won't ever get back,

0:48:46.880 --> 0:48:51.000
<v Speaker 2>even long after they're gone. I ax healed, shaking my head.

0:48:51.400 --> 0:48:53.680
<v Speaker 2>The funny thing is you never regret it, not even

0:48:53.719 --> 0:48:55.799
<v Speaker 2>when the end comes, not even when it recks you

0:48:55.840 --> 0:48:58.799
<v Speaker 2>in ways you weren't ready for, because somehow the love

0:48:58.840 --> 0:49:02.520
<v Speaker 2>they give outweighs the pain every single time. She nodded,

0:49:02.560 --> 0:49:05.400
<v Speaker 2>a small, knowing smile crossing her face. So you do

0:49:05.480 --> 0:49:09.239
<v Speaker 2>it anyway, she said, Yeah, you do it anyway. I

0:49:09.320 --> 0:49:10.240
<v Speaker 2>think that's so sweet.

0:49:10.320 --> 0:49:11.120
<v Speaker 1>It is very sweet.

0:49:12.000 --> 0:49:16.359
<v Speaker 2>So on that note, smart, thank you.

0:49:16.480 --> 0:49:18.080
<v Speaker 3>I think that's the first time I've ever remitted that.

0:49:18.680 --> 0:49:23.479
<v Speaker 2>You're glad I picked. I love that, and I'm glad

0:49:23.480 --> 0:49:26.520
<v Speaker 2>I have you. Not to get too sappy, but thanks

0:49:26.560 --> 0:49:29.279
<v Speaker 2>for being here, being there for me, being a great

0:49:29.360 --> 0:49:33.319
<v Speaker 2>dog dad and being on today's episode. Thanks for inviting me,

0:49:35.520 --> 0:49:36.759
<v Speaker 2>all right, And that's a rap.

0:49:36.840 --> 0:49:37.160
<v Speaker 1>Guys.

0:49:38.719 --> 0:49:42.640
<v Speaker 2>As always, be sure to rate, review, subscribe. You can

0:49:42.640 --> 0:49:45.640
<v Speaker 2>find me at doctor Josivette on Instagram. Send me a

0:49:45.719 --> 0:49:47.840
<v Speaker 2>DM let me know what you thought of today's episode,

0:49:47.960 --> 0:49:51.439
<v Speaker 2>and we will be back, same time, same place next week.