Speaker 1: Yeah, you're listening to In the Vets Office with doctor
Speaker 1: Josie Horchak.
Speaker 2: All right, everyone, welcome back to in the Bets Office.
Speaker 2: I am your host, Doctor Josie, and this week's episode
Speaker 2: is going to look a little bit more different than
Speaker 2: previous weeks. As some of you may know from following
Speaker 2: me on social media, I recently euthanized my own dog, Biggie,
Speaker 2: my little brown Chihuahua beagle Pomeranian mix. He was pretty
Speaker 2: infamous on this podcast. I know a lot of you
Speaker 2: messaged me saying that you felt like you knew him
Speaker 2: from this podcast. He even was on it and bit
Speaker 2: Bobby Bones in one of the episodes, so he made
Speaker 2: a lot of a lot of wave for a little guy.
Speaker 2: And I wanted to do this episode because I feel like,
Speaker 2: you know, I've said this before, but every pet owner
Speaker 2: will go through the loss of a pet at some point,
Speaker 2: and it's something that you know as universal. It's devastating.
Speaker 2: I think pet loss can feel really lonely, and so
Speaker 2: I wanted to just kind of talk about our experience
Speaker 2: and if someone else can relate to it, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: This might just be one therapeutic episode for me, which
Speaker 2: is also great, but I do like I said, I
Speaker 2: think we all go through it, and so hopefully if
Speaker 2: one other person feels not alone from listening to this,
Speaker 2: then that makes me happy. I decided to bring on
Speaker 2: as he's calling himself a guest of honor today. Welcome
Speaker 2: to in the BETS office, my husband Cody Hrchak.
Speaker 1: I am here. I am nervous. I don't do this.
Speaker 2: You I never see you nervous.
Speaker 1: Let's let's get started.
Speaker 2: When I was talking to producer Morgan about doing this episode,
Speaker 2: I well, I think I'll just do a solo episode.
Speaker 2: I'll talk about Biggie. And she's like, well, why don't
Speaker 2: you have Cody on And I was like, Okay, maybe
Speaker 2: I will do that. And you know, you are amazing
Speaker 2: dog Dad, and I feel like you got me through
Speaker 2: so much of this with Biggie, so I really thought
Speaker 2: it would be nice to have you here, if nothing else,
Speaker 2: your moral support for me.
Speaker 1: Glad to be here, my moment of stardom. Let's go.
Speaker 2: All right. I really want to start by talking about
Speaker 2: Biggie's adoption story. That is what a story. One of
Speaker 2: the biggest fights that we have ever gotten in. And
Speaker 2: every time I think about it. It makes me laugh. So
Speaker 2: why don't you do? Would you like to actually all
Speaker 2: start prefacing it and then you can take it away?
Speaker 1: Please do?
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: I would like to hear your side, okay, and then
Speaker 1: I will fill in all the major gaps.
Speaker 2: Okay. So I was sitting on the couch with my
Speaker 2: sister and at the time I only had one dog,
Speaker 2: which was Luca are great Dane, and she was getting older.
Speaker 2: What I didn't know is that just a few months
Speaker 2: after that we were going to diagnose her with bone cancer.
Speaker 2: So did not know that was coming. But I knew
Speaker 2: she was getting older and I wanted a second dog.
Speaker 2: We had just moved to Tennessee. We finally had a backyard.
Speaker 2: I was like, now is the time. And so I
Speaker 2: had mentioned to you, hey, we should get another dog,
Speaker 2: and You're like, we just moved, we don't need another
Speaker 2: dog right now. I'm like, okay, yeah, whatever you say.
Speaker 2: So I get a link sent to me of this dog,
Speaker 2: this little brown dog that was smiling. He's sitting on
Speaker 2: a big chair. I take one look at him. I'm like, yep,
Speaker 2: you're mine. And he was up for adoption through Proverbs,
Speaker 2: which is another big rescue group here in Nashville. They
Speaker 2: do a really good job. They're actually very They have
Speaker 2: a pretty strict adoption process. Because I was applying and
Speaker 2: they were like grilling me, like a rigorous adoption process.
Speaker 2: I was like, guys, you know, I'm a veterinarian, right
Speaker 2: doesn't matter. And honestly, I really like that. I think
Speaker 2: that's good. We need to make sure that all these
Speaker 2: owners are well vetted out. No pun intended to make
Speaker 2: sure that these pets are going to great homes. So
Speaker 2: they definitely vetted me out. They said, is there anybody
Speaker 2: else that lives in the house. They said, yes, my husband.
Speaker 2: They said, is he on board with this adoption? I
Speaker 2: said absolutely, he is no doubt about it. Did I
Speaker 2: ask Cody for permission? No, Cody has no idea I'm
Speaker 2: adopting this dog. And what Proverbs does is they they
Speaker 2: are all foster based, so they don't have an adoption center.
Speaker 2: So on one Saturday a month, they set up a
Speaker 2: tent outside of pet Smart and that is where people
Speaker 2: who are adopting go to pick up the pet, get
Speaker 2: their paperwork, et cetera. So the Saturday rolls around that
Speaker 2: it's time for me to go pick up this dog,
Speaker 2: and Cody says, I was gatfished. And I still haven't
Speaker 2: told Cody yet what's happening. And I said, hey, when
Speaker 2: we go to Pet Smart, I got to pick something
Speaker 2: up for Luca and Timmy our horse, Like, we'll just
Speaker 2: swing by really quick. So we get to Pet Smart,
Speaker 2: we park the car, we're getting out of the car,
Speaker 2: we're about probably ten steps away from the adoption tent
Speaker 2: and he looks at me and he was like, wait
Speaker 2: a second. And I have this like big grit on
Speaker 2: my face and he was like no, and I was
Speaker 2: like yes.
Speaker 1: And at that moment, you looked at me and you said,
Speaker 1: don't f this up. And I said, I knew we
Speaker 1: weren't there for dog food.
Speaker 2: I said don't. I don't know why. I said, I'll
Speaker 2: kill you if you mess this up for me, something
Speaker 2: along those lines. It wasn't nice. It was a threat.
Speaker 2: It was a threat. It was a cold blood threat.
Speaker 2: And I meant that because if you go up there
Speaker 2: and you're at the adoption tent and not everybody in
Speaker 2: the family's on board with the adoption, they will rip
Speaker 2: the dog back, as they should, and they won't let
Speaker 2: you go home with the pet. So I did. I
Speaker 2: looked you in the eyes and I said, don't mess
Speaker 2: this up for.
Speaker 1: Me, and then I looked big in the eyes. I
Speaker 1: was like, I really want to mess this up as
Speaker 1: much as in that moment after the facts love him,
Speaker 1: loved him, but at that moment, I was like, that
Speaker 1: is a morbidly obese, smelly buttholeig.
Speaker 2: We get up there and he is, yeah, in the
Speaker 2: arms of his foster, he is you guys. We score
Speaker 2: body condition one out of nine, nine being the most obese,
Speaker 2: one being severely mountainurished. He is a full throttle nine
Speaker 2: out of nine. He was an eleven out of nine
Speaker 2: if that could even exist. He is so fat, he's
Speaker 2: like panting profusely stink. He really smelled like roadkill. Is
Speaker 2: this don't day? Don't know why. I think he had
Speaker 2: an infected like eye ducked, but he smelled like roadkill.
Speaker 1: Either way.
Speaker 2: Anyways, I walk up, I'm like, you're beautiful, you're perfect, icy,
Speaker 2: You're perfect, You're mine, You're amazing. And so the adoption
Speaker 2: the foster hands Cody the collar and says, this is
Speaker 2: your new dog. His name at the time was baby Bear.
Speaker 2: This is baby Bear. Do you want to put his
Speaker 2: collar on him. Cody's holding the collars, standing there looking
Speaker 2: at Biggie and he's like, this dog is so fat.
Speaker 2: I don't know where his neck starts and stops.
Speaker 1: And for clarification, I wasn't fat shaming this dog, but
Speaker 1: I mean it was a roly polly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was really puly. And the lady goes, well,
Speaker 2: have you never put a collar on before? And I'm
Speaker 2: looking at him, like, put the collar on. Put the
Speaker 2: collar on. He goes to put the collar on, and
Speaker 2: Biggie looks at him and goes er and try yeah,
Speaker 2: and he bites you. And I was like, this is amazing.
Speaker 2: This is so bad, amazing and so bad. So we snap.
Speaker 2: I snapped the collar on really quick. I'm like, okay, perfect,
Speaker 2: thank you so much, like goodbye, and we get in
Speaker 2: the car.
Speaker 1: I'm pissed, pissed.
Speaker 2: Cody is not please. He's like this this was like
Speaker 2: a major life decision. You haven't consulted me on this.
Speaker 2: We get home, he's like, really not please. I think
Speaker 2: you like grabbed a beer and you went out and
Speaker 2: sit on the back patio and you sat back there
Speaker 2: and like stared off into the distance for like hours.
Speaker 1: Okay, No, I did not. I'm not mannic I stop that. No,
Speaker 1: I did not grab a beer and go sit on
Speaker 1: the back porch. That was after he tried to suicide
Speaker 1: leap out of the house because he didn't want it either.
Speaker 1: Like him and I were on the same page. He
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want to be here, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I don't want you here, and we had
Speaker 1: a good stare down.
Speaker 2: You had a stand off. Did he did try to
Speaker 2: jump off a ledge when we first got home, But no,
Speaker 2: you were pretty unhappy anyways. All that to say, I
Speaker 2: do think, okay, listen, I think I might have learned
Speaker 2: my lesson, like I will.
Speaker 1: I don't know a thing is not to do because
Speaker 1: we weren't even married at that point. We were dating,
Speaker 1: we lived together, we were engaged, we were engaged. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, things you don't do early in an engagement
Speaker 1: is like make life changing decision and bring responsibility.
Speaker 2: And I want to say that I regret it, but
Speaker 2: I don't. I definitely don't do it tomorrow.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm just I'm so confused to how
Speaker 1: you you saw him in a photo and was like,
Speaker 1: that's a cute dog. Don't get me wrong, like after
Speaker 1: the fact, cute at could be, But in that moment,
Speaker 1: I just I'm baffled by the fact. You're like, he's mine.
Speaker 1: I just knew I can't go without him. I just
Speaker 1: knew I had like a million I looked at the
Speaker 1: photo and I was like, there's a million reasons not
Speaker 1: to go this direction.
Speaker 2: Well, he was so cute, and we got him home
Speaker 2: and finally like, okay, so what's his name? And I'm like,
Speaker 2: baby bear? But he only goes by baby And You're like,
Speaker 2: all right, we'll keep the dogs.
Speaker 1: Deal breaker, get me back in the car. We're going
Speaker 1: back to Patsmorrow. We're not calling him baby bear.
Speaker 2: You're like, I'm not calling this dog baby. I'm like, okay, well,
Speaker 2: like that's what he knows and he's five now. So
Speaker 2: we ended up saying what's the name similar that he
Speaker 2: won't have to relearn it, and we ended up on Biggie,
Speaker 2: which was fitting.
Speaker 1: It was super fitting, tiny, tiny dog next to a
Speaker 1: one hundred and forty pound Great Dane. It was like
Speaker 1: Biggie and lou right, But his personality, I mean, the
Speaker 1: biggest personality of any dog.
Speaker 2: I've ever met one. I say this without fail, like
Speaker 2: He is the bravest little dog. He would walk into
Speaker 2: any air and be like, yep, I own this place.
Speaker 2: And I always talk about on the podcast, and you know,
Speaker 2: because we've rescued a lot of dogs. Now, it's like
Speaker 2: dogs take three days to warm up, three weeks to
Speaker 2: do this, three months and like you, your personality is like,
Speaker 2: continue to come out now.
Speaker 1: He came into the house like a mafia boss. He's like,
Speaker 1: this is mine now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he definitely walked in and he was like, no,
Speaker 2: I own this place. He got into his bed, he
Speaker 2: put all four paws up in the air, and I
Speaker 2: think he like started snoring out loud.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: Speaking of which, that was another thing. I'm really realizing
Speaker 2: that maybe I'm just torturing you as your wife. But
Speaker 2: you were like, he can't sleep in the bed. He
Speaker 2: smells so bad, Like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay. But
Speaker 2: he really wanted to sleep in the bed next to me.
Speaker 2: He loved me, and so I was like, I'm just
Speaker 2: gonna when you fall asleep, I'm just gonna pick him
Speaker 2: up here. So every night he ended up in the bed.
Speaker 1: YEP. It's definitely torturous.
Speaker 2: Finally, by the end of it, though, you bought him stairs.
Speaker 1: I loved this dog.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: It was definitely a hate relationship early on, like we
Speaker 1: were just roommates, like the worst roommates ever, you know,
Speaker 1: like when you're in college and you're like, hey, this
Speaker 1: ain't working out.
Speaker 3: But then he grew on me.
Speaker 2: He did grow on you. And you would always say
Speaker 2: that he was like so fickle that when I was here,
Speaker 2: like I was his world. He would have followed me everywhere,
Speaker 2: and then afterwards when I would leave, he was obsessed
Speaker 2: with you.
Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, when Josie was here, it was her world,
Speaker 1: he was focused on it.
Speaker 3: When she left, oh my god, he was just he
Speaker 3: was glued to me.
Speaker 2: He was a little trader.
Speaker 1: He was a trader.
Speaker 2: I also love. One of my favorite things is he
Speaker 2: loves to look out the window. And he would always
Speaker 2: like when I would leave, want to look out the window,
Speaker 2: and he'd stay there until I got home. So it
Speaker 2: first started you built him like this little Amazon box perch,
Speaker 2: like one box, onto two boxes, onto three boxes where
Speaker 2: he could climb up. Then finally I come home one
Speaker 2: day and you're in there with like a drill and
Speaker 2: a hammer, and I'm like, what is going on? And
Speaker 2: you got on Wayfair, and you bought him a cat tree.
Speaker 1: That he could like he could so fitting that he could.
Speaker 2: Like climb up into and then steer out the window.
Speaker 2: Was so cute.
Speaker 1: He definitely he'd liked to be high, he'd like to
Speaker 1: look out, and I mean he would be there for
Speaker 1: eight hours, like you would leave and then he would
Speaker 1: just sit there until you came back.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: He was so loyal and he was clockwork too, like
Speaker 1: he I don't know how he dogs know, but like
Speaker 1: the moment you were five minutes out, he knew you
Speaker 1: were coming and I was like, all right, well this is weird,
Speaker 1: and I guess your mom's on our way home.
Speaker 2: They HiT's like there they know when the sun is setting,
Speaker 2: like they just are so yeah, intuitive, And he really
Speaker 2: loved Sia. We got Sya. We got Biggie in August,
Speaker 2: and we got Sia in October. So we went from
Speaker 2: one dog to you being like, no, we can't get another,
Speaker 2: and I got the second. And then we were on
Speaker 2: vacation two months later and we found Sia. So next thing,
Speaker 2: I know, which you were kind of on board with, Oh.
Speaker 1: No, no no. That was also very similar. We're on
Speaker 1: vacation and you see this dog going on the street.
Speaker 1: Next thing I know, I'm in a vet clinic for days,
Speaker 1: trying to figure out how to get a dog.
Speaker 3: Home from Mexico during the pandemic. Yeah, no, I am.
Speaker 1: I didn't talked to something about this. I mean we're
Speaker 1: calling up better health tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Okay. But now you love Sia, Well I.
Speaker 1: Love Sia, yeah, as much as you loved Biggie.
Speaker 2: Game or best decision ever. And so we get Sia
Speaker 2: a few months later, and him and Sia were like inseparable.
Speaker 2: They loved each.
Speaker 1: Other from the beginning. Yeah, I mean, but Biggie always
Speaker 1: had that personality where he's like saw Luca hate her,
Speaker 1: like they never got along. Ever, Sia comes in love Siah.
Speaker 1: Now we have Oakley, but he hated Oakley. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: always you know the joke that I always with Biggie.
Speaker 1: If Bigie had a posable thumbs, eighty percent of the
Speaker 1: people who walk through the door would be dead. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like he would just shoot him. Like he didn't. He
Speaker 1: didn't like people. He liked one person, Josie or anybody
Speaker 1: who had cheese, which your nurse.
Speaker 3: Ellen, Yeah, I mean they would you know.
Speaker 1: She'd come over with a pile of cheese. But he
Speaker 1: hated everybody else.
Speaker 2: Speaking of cheese, You guys, this dog could eat anything.
Speaker 2: He had guts of steel.
Speaker 1: He would eat dry wall when we were rendoing our house,
Speaker 1: like he would go around and pick up the piece
Speaker 1: of the drywall and just like he was caveards.
Speaker 2: He loves drywall, which, by the way, I am fully
Speaker 2: aware that I'm a veterinarian and should not condone animals
Speaker 2: eating drywall, and I don't and I do not condone that.
Speaker 2: I think that's very dangerous. But I could not, like
Speaker 2: literally stop him. He would like be like a little
Speaker 2: like vacuum cleaner. He loved lu huffed to eat everything.
Speaker 1: Every crumb, it doesn't matter what it was.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, And I would like to say that, yes,
Speaker 2: we got him really fat, and he's still when he passed,
Speaker 2: he still wasn't the smallest little guy in the world,
Speaker 2: But damn did we try. We had him on a
Speaker 2: pretty strict diet. He lost. He started at like eighteen pounds.
Speaker 2: We caught him down to like thirteen or fourteen at
Speaker 2: one point. Then towards the end, I was like, ah,
Speaker 2: let's let him live a little.
Speaker 1: Oh, this is mother's love. You know, you were, We're
Speaker 1: like a healthy weight's eleven pounds, maybe twelve pounds, but
Speaker 1: once he got to like fourteen, We're like, nah, we're
Speaker 1: just gonna let him live.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was a cute, little round fourteen pounds.
Speaker 3: Well, according to you, he was stocky.
Speaker 2: He was stuck.
Speaker 1: He's pretty chunky.
Speaker 2: It was his bone structure.
Speaker 1: It was not his bone structure. But we'll just we'll
Speaker 1: roll with that.
Speaker 2: What So, back in twenty twenty three, I believe is
Speaker 2: when I was going to take him in for a
Speaker 2: dental he had some stinky breath. I knew he had
Speaker 2: a tooth that needed to come out, and the night
Speaker 2: before his dental procedure, I didn't examine on him. I
Speaker 2: listened to his heart. I had already run his blood work,
Speaker 2: and I stuck my stethoscope on his chest and I
Speaker 2: was like, whoa, he has a heart murmur that was
Speaker 2: not there a couple months ago when I had listened
Speaker 2: to him, and so I canceled his dental procedure. I
Speaker 2: took him into our veterinary cardiologist here and had an
Speaker 2: echo excuse me, an echo cardiogram performed, which is an
Speaker 2: ultrasound of the heart. It lets you see all four
Speaker 2: chambers of the heart. You can find out exactly why
Speaker 2: your pet has a heart murmur, what's causing it, how
Speaker 2: serious is it. Is it safe for them to undergo anesthesia?
Speaker 2: And the cardiologist diagnosed him with degenerative valve disease. So
Speaker 2: two of the valves in his heart were not closing
Speaker 2: the way that they should, and so instead of blood
Speaker 2: rushing forward and pushed forward in his heart like it's
Speaker 2: supposed to, little amounts of blood would rush backwards because
Speaker 2: those valves aren't closing all the way. And with time,
Speaker 2: that causes the muscles of the heart wall to get
Speaker 2: tired and become fatigued, and the heart itself will eventually
Speaker 2: not be able to kind of keep up with demand.
Speaker 2: And so, knowing that he had degenerative valve disease, he
Speaker 2: was at the beginning, I would say, midway to the
Speaker 2: beginning of the disease process. And it's really kind of
Speaker 2: up in the air for how long pets do after diagnosis.
Speaker 2: Every pet is different. Some pets can make it five
Speaker 2: more years on average. On average, though, I would say
Speaker 2: at the time of what Biggie had his diagnosis, you're
Speaker 2: probably looking at like two to three years, and so
Speaker 2: that kind of really started it all. And it's so interesting.
Speaker 2: I guess we can kind of talk about having a
Speaker 2: dog with a disease that you know eventually is going
Speaker 2: to take them. And he really did great. I would
Speaker 2: say for the first year of diagnosis, we put him
Speaker 2: on one or two heart meds, he went under anesthesia,
Speaker 2: he had his dental procedure. He did really well. And
Speaker 2: I would say like probably like a year and a
Speaker 2: half eighteen months after diagnosis is when I felt like
Speaker 2: I really started noticing a big difference. He definitely couldn't
Speaker 2: exercise as much as he used to without getting winded
Speaker 2: more quickly. He started coughing quite a bit. Am I missing.
Speaker 1: Anything even just tired?
Speaker 2: Yeah, tired. Yeah. So we eventually, by the end of
Speaker 2: his disease process, I had him on I don't know,
Speaker 2: maybe six or seven different medications. I'm a veterinarian, so
Speaker 2: and it was hard for me. I cannot imagine what
Speaker 2: it's like for other owners out there that don't have
Speaker 2: that background being a caretaker for a sick pet. I
Speaker 2: just I have a whole new perspective on it and
Speaker 2: empathy for my clients because it is a lot of work.
Speaker 2: I had to like adjust my everyday schedule to be home.
Speaker 2: If I didn't give him his mid day medications right
Speaker 2: at one one point thirty, then that kind of set
Speaker 2: him up for a really bad night full of coughing,
Speaker 2: and that you know, fell onto your shoulders sometimes too
Speaker 2: if I wasn't home. So we had to be really
Speaker 2: strict about when we gave him his meds, what meds
Speaker 2: to give him. I mean, it took me probably thirty
Speaker 2: minutes in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the
Speaker 2: evening to get his tablets split into the way they
Speaker 2: were supposed to be split and all of the doses correct.
Speaker 2: And I always had to like tinker around with his doses.
Speaker 2: And some days he didn't want to take his pills,
Speaker 2: some days he didn't want to eat his food. And
Speaker 2: that was for me such an eye opener into how
Speaker 2: much work it is, and like the burden of being
Speaker 2: a caregiver. And there is something called caregiver fatigue where
Speaker 2: you just start to you love your animal, you would
Speaker 2: do anything for them. I would still. I would spend
Speaker 2: three hours a day splitting his pills and doing whatever
Speaker 2: I needed to do for him if it meant he
Speaker 2: got to be be here with me, But it is
Speaker 2: also true that it was definitely draining.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that was the hardest thing in the
Speaker 1: last few months, is especially with Biggie with such a
Speaker 1: like progressive disease where he was getting worse and worse,
Speaker 1: but he would have like moments of joy where he
Speaker 1: would be like, oh, maybe he's not as bad as
Speaker 1: we think he is, Like maybe he can live another
Speaker 1: four or five six months, And then you know, you
Speaker 1: find yourself at a crossroads where you're like, are we
Speaker 1: doing it for us, are we doing it for him?
Speaker 1: Or a combination of both. And you know, all I
Speaker 1: ever had in my past to reference was Luca, which
Speaker 1: was our great Dane who passed with bone cancer, and
Speaker 1: she was just so much more progressive. Like one day
Speaker 1: we just woke up and we're like, we saw this
Speaker 1: golf sell golf size, golf ball sized tumor on her leg.
Speaker 1: And then a few months later she couldn't walk up
Speaker 1: and downstairs and she was like crying, and you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's in pain. We gotta we gotta do what's right.
Speaker 1: Biggie was like he'd have good days, you have bad days,
Speaker 1: And it was really hard to disassociate with the fact
Speaker 1: of was this for us or was this for him?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, totally. So with euthanasia, I think that it's
Speaker 2: such a double edged sword of like having that not
Speaker 2: having it be an emergency, because there's some people where
Speaker 2: they are like, oh my gosh, my pet is so sick.
Speaker 2: I rushed them to the er. We have to euthanize,
Speaker 2: there's really no other choice. That is devastating because you
Speaker 2: don't get to say goodbye, but also in some ways
Speaker 2: it's a blessing because you're not living with this six
Speaker 2: months to a year of living in that kind of
Speaker 2: gray area. And like you said, with Luca, it was
Speaker 2: very clear with bone cancer. We got to a point
Speaker 2: where we just couldn't keep her comfortable anymore.
Speaker 1: Pain.
Speaker 2: Yeah she was. She was definitely in pain. But Biggie
Speaker 2: was like coughing a lot, but he still was like,
Speaker 2: let me eat, let's do this, let's do that, and
Speaker 2: so it was definitely, yeah, blagging his tail. So it
Speaker 2: is definitely very, very difficult. And I just want to say, like,
Speaker 2: I am lucky because I have you, Like, I think
Speaker 2: you're very pragmatic and logical about these things, and I
Speaker 2: am a veterinarian. So like I coach people through this
Speaker 2: all the time, that's my job. But when it comes
Speaker 2: to your own animal, no matter how practical pragmatic, if
Speaker 2: you're in the veterinary field or not, like your sense
Speaker 2: of reasonable thinking really goes out the window. And so
Speaker 2: I would stress that if you feel like you're in
Speaker 2: this time where you have to make this decision, you
Speaker 2: shouldn't have to make this decision alone. And if you
Speaker 2: don't have a partner that you can rely on, call
Speaker 2: your veterinarian, take your pet in and go in for
Speaker 2: just a quality of life visit. We do those all
Speaker 2: the time, and it's our job just to help you
Speaker 2: as an objective outsider, to help you make that decision,
Speaker 2: because when it's your own pet, it feels impossible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, especially when when you love animal as much as
Speaker 1: we did, and we were part of our family.
Speaker 3: And I think what really drove that decision was.
Speaker 1: There were there were great days that were congruent, and
Speaker 1: then there was like a bad night where he couldn't
Speaker 1: sleep and he was coughing and he felt and you
Speaker 1: could just see in his eyes he it was sad.
Speaker 3: But then he'd wake up in the morning.
Speaker 1: Be totally fine. He's like, where's my breakfast? Right? And
Speaker 1: I think what ultimately helped us drive the decision was
Speaker 1: the number of days he was good was getting less
Speaker 1: before we had a bad evening or a bad day.
Speaker 1: And the what I did was I set you down.
Speaker 1: I was like, we're on the verge of something very
Speaker 1: traumatic happening, where like he's incredibly scared and a lot
Speaker 1: of pain. We're freaking out, Like we just need to
Speaker 1: understand like if we keep progressing this, like if we
Speaker 1: keep pushing this off until something really traumatic happens, it's
Speaker 1: not good for us or good for him him hm.
Speaker 3: And it was just that was kind of the probable
Speaker 3: the approach that I took, whereas.
Speaker 1: There's going to be a night where's he literally feels
Speaker 1: like he's suffocating, and do we want him to get
Speaker 1: to that point?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I think that's such a great point to make
Speaker 2: because I do talk to owners about you know, we
Speaker 2: can wait, but we're going to get to a point
Speaker 2: just like you said, where it's an emergency, you're rushing
Speaker 2: him into the er overnight and then maybe you don't
Speaker 2: get a say goodbye on the terms that you want to.
Speaker 2: And some people say I don't care. I'll wait till
Speaker 2: the last second. But then also you have to think,
Speaker 2: like your pet is probably suffering, And to us, it
Speaker 2: was more important just to be able to say goodbye
Speaker 2: in a peaceful way where he could eat a number
Speaker 2: seven combo meal from McDonald's. He could crush it in
Speaker 2: the backyard. He got all the love in the world.
Speaker 2: He got super high, and we were able to say
Speaker 2: goodbye at home. So I feel like that super high
Speaker 2: that was helpful for us.
Speaker 1: We gave him the pre med and he definitely he
Speaker 1: was seeing Lucy in the sky with diamonds. He was
Speaker 1: he was having a good time.
Speaker 2: He ate it was amazing. He had a double cheeseburger mcflury.
Speaker 2: He did have an oreo.
Speaker 1: Mcflury had to have an entire box of.
Speaker 2: French fries and chicken nuggets.
Speaker 1: And now we know why he never got under fourteen
Speaker 1: pounds never.
Speaker 2: He just loved it. I almost forgot why I want
Speaker 2: to keep going and we're going to come back to this.
Speaker 2: Almost forgot to say that when we adopted him, who
Speaker 2: had owned him before. I think I've talked about this
Speaker 2: on the podcast before, but he had a prior to
Speaker 2: me being his mother. He had an elderly woman that
Speaker 2: owned him, and she had let him out into the
Speaker 2: backyard to go potty. She went back inside, sat down
Speaker 2: on her chair and passed away. I don't know if
Speaker 2: she had a stroke or a heart attack. The details
Speaker 2: are vague, but yeah, the details are vague, but she
Speaker 2: passed away. And eventually the neighbors a few days after this, realized, hey,
Speaker 2: this little dog's been locked out in the backyard. I
Speaker 2: think they saw him July. Right in July, they saw it.
Speaker 1: I mean, the guy stayed outside for five days, no food,
Speaker 1: no aud.
Speaker 2: He had a lot of fat storage, I mean.
Speaker 3: And a lot of fur. Like heat stroke would have
Speaker 3: been a real thing.
Speaker 2: No, I think he did. So Yeah, Finally they were like,
Speaker 2: this is weird. They didn't know any family, so they
Speaker 2: called the police. The police knocked down the door. They
Speaker 2: found her passed away, and Biggie was locked in the backyard.
Speaker 2: And I do think he went to a clinic for
Speaker 2: heat stroke. I was treated for heat stroke. So yeah,
Speaker 2: he was a fighter, and he loved food until his
Speaker 2: very last breath. And I will say this because a
Speaker 2: lot of people, and I know I've talked about this before,
Speaker 2: but a lot of people will say, Okay, I'm going
Speaker 2: to monitor their quality of life. When my pet stops eating,
Speaker 2: that's when I'll know it's time. And I'm here to
Speaker 2: tell you that, sadly, like that can't be the only
Speaker 2: thing that we take into consideration, because Biggie's a perfect example.
Speaker 2: He was in full throttle heart failure. He had a
Speaker 2: fluid in his chest, medications weren't keeping up with that anymore,
Speaker 2: and he crushed a number seven combo meal like he
Speaker 2: would have eaten he would be eating forever and ever
Speaker 2: and ever. But he didn't have a great quality of life.
Speaker 2: Aside from that, he.
Speaker 1: Had moments where you were like which made it very difficult.
Speaker 1: But and I think realistically we probably could have delayed
Speaker 1: it a little bit longer. But going back to the
Speaker 1: whole catalyst of it was about to be really traumatic.
Speaker 1: Not us, we can deal with us, but for him, Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's waking up in the middle of night and feeling
Speaker 1: like he's drowning. Yeah, like, that's who wants their dog
Speaker 1: to go through that. So yeah, we're just like, let's
Speaker 1: let's make the decision, knowing that he can't make the
Speaker 1: decision for himself. But I do legitimately, at my core
Speaker 1: feel like we made the right decision for him.
Speaker 2: I agree. I also want to say that you will
Speaker 2: never ever feel completely ready. I don't know a single person,
Speaker 2: and maybe some people do, but I certainly can say that,
Speaker 2: like I don't have many owners that ever feel one
Speaker 2: hundred percent certain. You're always going to have some doubt.
Speaker 2: There's always going to be oh, should I wait another day,
Speaker 2: should I give it a little bit more time? Have
Speaker 2: I done everything I could do? Did they know that
Speaker 2: I love them? So you're you're gonna have a lot
Speaker 2: of questions. You're never going to feel completely ready, And
Speaker 2: so again I just can't stress how important it is
Speaker 2: to rely on your veterinarian and rely on your partner,
Speaker 2: have someone else help you making that decision. I do
Speaker 2: want to talk a little bit about our specific euthanasia
Speaker 2: experience with Biggie. I think everyone is different, and maybe
Speaker 2: it's you know, I feel like we think it's kind
Speaker 2: of tappy to talk about death and euthanasia, but like
Speaker 2: I said, everyone experiences it. So we decided to euthanize
Speaker 2: at home. Some people go into the clinic to euthanize,
Speaker 2: some people will do it in their home. It's really
Speaker 2: kind of wherever your most comfortable. I chose this for
Speaker 2: him because he's most comfortable at home. He did not
Speaker 2: like going to the vet clinic. And I'm even his vet,
Speaker 2: so I don't know what that says. So we decided
Speaker 2: to do it at home. Lucky in that one of
Speaker 2: our best friends, Ellen, who also works with me. She's
Speaker 2: my head nurse. She lives just around the corner, so
Speaker 2: she was kind of able to come over and help
Speaker 2: us through it. Usually what we do is will place
Speaker 2: an IVY catheter in their arm. That way we have
Speaker 2: access to their vein. In Biggie's case, he hates to
Speaker 2: have his paws touched. We were we couldn't trim a
Speaker 2: single tonail on this guy. I mean, he's the hands
Speaker 2: down the worst dog I've ever had for a tonail trim.
Speaker 2: And I'm not just saying my dog. I'm saying, like
Speaker 2: all my patients, all the dogs I take care of.
Speaker 1: Ever, Well, yeah, I love how you threw in that
Speaker 1: caveat for a toenail trim. Like if he was twenty
Speaker 1: pounds heavier, he wouldn't have made it as long as
Speaker 1: he did. Because, once again, if you had a posable
Speaker 1: thumbs to swear to God, eighty percent of the people
Speaker 1: who walked through the door.
Speaker 2: Would have been checked. Now he sounds so bad, Oh
Speaker 2: he was. He was a bad boy, the best worst
Speaker 2: dog ever heavier.
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's no way he would have made it this long.
Speaker 1: But yeah, the guy had to fight.
Speaker 2: He had passion, passion, and god did he have some
Speaker 2: grinch toes on his little fuzzy grinch toes. He hated
Speaker 2: having his toes. So I was like, Okay, how in
Speaker 2: the heck am I going to get an ivy catheter
Speaker 2: in this dog? Because I have to hold their paw
Speaker 2: and get the catheter in. So I'm like, this is
Speaker 2: going to be really bad, and I don't want to
Speaker 2: stress him out anymore, Like I need our final moments
Speaker 2: to be peaceful together. So we decided to give him
Speaker 2: some injectable sedation, which just makes them like a little drunk.
Speaker 2: That way, they're not as stressed about when we're touching them.
Speaker 2: So we give him, Yeah, relax them exactly. So I'm
Speaker 2: holding him, you're feeding him in mcflurry. Ellen gives him
Speaker 2: his shot in the butt and then he got on.
Speaker 2: He won last bite.
Speaker 1: The last ten minutes of his life he drew blood again.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he did get you a little bit. Ohah, no,
Speaker 2: so you're gonna I don't want to say anything bad
Speaker 2: about him. I want to remember him. He was very
Speaker 2: he was perfect, and he got really drunk really quick.
Speaker 2: Usually in an injection in the muscle, so like in
Speaker 2: the butt can take anywhere from like five to fifteen
Speaker 2: minutes to kick in. In his case, I think it
Speaker 2: took like thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: That was the most traumatic part of it, because you
Speaker 1: had stepped out to do something so injection. I was
Speaker 1: feeding him the mcflurry. Josie walks out, and then like
Speaker 1: fifteen seconds later, I was like, this guy is really
Speaker 1: messed up, like falling over legs, going wide, couldn't even
Speaker 1: keep his head up to eat the mcflurry. No, granted,
Speaker 1: he was still eating it right like. He was like,
Speaker 1: let's go to town on this head oreos and of course,
Speaker 1: uh And then I called you. I was like, there's
Speaker 1: something wrong.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I came running back upstairs and he was
Speaker 2: getting really dysporic. So I was like, okay, Wow, the
Speaker 2: sedation's kicking in really quickly. I go to scoop them up.
Speaker 2: We walk into the living room We're sitting in the
Speaker 2: living room with him, and about sixty seconds later, you know,
Speaker 2: I feel him taking some deep breaths. He's relaxing, the
Speaker 2: sedation is working, and I look at you and I say,
Speaker 2: I think he's gonna pass away from the sedation. And
Speaker 2: we just sat there and stared at him. And thirty
Speaker 2: seconds later he had passed away, which was for me, sorry,
Speaker 2: go ahead, we're you gonna say something for me. I
Speaker 2: have never I've worked in a VAT clinic for twenty years,
Speaker 2: I have never had a patient pass from the pre meds.
Speaker 2: We almost always will, you know, give them a little sedation,
Speaker 2: put the IVY cathterin, then we push some propofall, which
Speaker 2: is like going under anesthesia, and then from there we'll
Speaker 2: give them. Once they're nice and under, we give them
Speaker 2: the euthanasia and they, like, very peacefully drift to sleep.
Speaker 2: We didn't even get a chance to put his catheterin
Speaker 2: or give him proper vault or euthanasia. He passed from
Speaker 2: his sedation, which for me was really twofold. I didn't
Speaker 2: know how to feel about that. In the moment, I
Speaker 2: was like, WHOA, Like I thought I had another twenty
Speaker 2: minutes to like say a proper I mean I'd already
Speaker 2: said goodbye, but you know, you just have this plan
Speaker 2: in your head of like, oh, I have twenty more minutes,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna say him goodbye, like I'm going to be
Speaker 2: telling him goodbye as he's getting the euthanasia. And I
Speaker 2: didn't get that, which is fine. It's not about me,
Speaker 2: it's about him. It just you know, when you have
Speaker 2: something in your head and it doesn't go to plan.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to make sure that he wasn't super stressed,
Speaker 2: and I don't think he was.
Speaker 1: I don't think he was either, because you were holding
Speaker 1: him and I was looking at him, and you were like,
Speaker 1: I think he's going to pass. I was like, honey,
Speaker 1: I think he already has or was in the process
Speaker 1: of it. But the way I justified in my head
Speaker 1: is he was just constantly fighting to breathe fighting to
Speaker 1: become to and then he just.
Speaker 3: Got a little edge where that edge was.
Speaker 1: Like I can finally relax, and like in his eyes
Speaker 1: at that time, he just like went to sleep, and
Speaker 1: probably in a more peaceful way than putting in an IV,
Speaker 1: putting more drugs into him, stressing him out. I think
Speaker 1: he went out on his terms, and I think he
Speaker 1: just was like, this is great. I'm gonna close my eyes,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna stop breathing in true biggie fashion.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all that to say, I just I think afterwards,
Speaker 2: like maybe I'm desensitized it from it because I see
Speaker 2: it all the time. But I do think that if
Speaker 2: you leave your pets youth in Asia and you're like,
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, like that didn't go as I expected,
Speaker 2: or they yelped when they got the shot, or they
Speaker 2: were fidgeting a bunch for their catheter, I guess you know,
Speaker 2: it's never going to be one hundred percent perfect for
Speaker 2: how we envision it, and I think you're always gonna
Speaker 2: leave with a little bit of like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: like did I make the right decision? Did it go okay?
Speaker 2: I think it's normal have some level of like uncertainty,
Speaker 2: and I just I am a veterinarian and I even
Speaker 2: have that, you know, feeling after leaving it with him.
Speaker 2: So I guess if you feel that, just you're not
Speaker 2: alone in that at all, and feeling a little bit
Speaker 2: of guilt potentially is very normal. And the other interesting
Speaker 2: feeling that I have felt, or that I immediately felt
Speaker 2: I would say that I was like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: I can't believe I'm feeling this was a little bit
Speaker 2: of relief, just knowing that, Okay, he's not suffering anymore.
Speaker 2: We finally made the decision. Making the decision is so hard,
Speaker 2: So making that decision once you've made it, and being like, Okay,
Speaker 2: now he's at peace. So feeling a little bit of relief.
Speaker 2: I was obviously devastated, heartbroken, but also feeling a little
Speaker 2: bit of that too. Yeah, I am The other thing
Speaker 2: that people don't talk about that I think is so
Speaker 2: interesting and maybe just this go around, because obviously with
Speaker 2: euthanized Luca, but this go around, I've really been like
Speaker 2: thinking about it a lot. Is that following day after
Speaker 2: euthanasia feels to me like maybe the worst of it all.
Speaker 2: I feel like the day of you're like making this
Speaker 2: terrible decision, You're having to say bye, like you're I mean,
Speaker 2: for me, I'm like crying hysterically. It's like a fever
Speaker 2: dream kind of. Then you get home and then the
Speaker 2: next day you wake up and it's almost like I
Speaker 2: woke up the next morning and like for the first
Speaker 2: few eyeblinks, I'm like, oh, yeah, everything's normal, Biggie, Like
Speaker 2: my life is normal, Biggie's here, and then you just
Speaker 2: remember like okay, yeah, Biggie's dead, and it's just like
Speaker 2: this gut wrenching, like having to just like go on
Speaker 2: with life, feeling this extreme grief.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and just going back making a terrible decision. I
Speaker 1: don't think we made a terrible decision. We made the
Speaker 1: right decision.
Speaker 2: For him, A hard decision, a.
Speaker 1: Hard decision for us. But the way he passed, the
Speaker 1: way he was progressing in the disease, it was exactly
Speaker 1: how it was supposed to be. But the next day, yes,
Speaker 1: you just it hasn't sunk in yet. You're almost in disbelief.
Speaker 1: You're in the stages of grief. Yeah you so I
Speaker 1: saw that too.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I think it's like, Okay, it happens. It's like
Speaker 2: this somewhat climac climactic event. And then it's the following
Speaker 2: days that I find are the most challenging. And so
Speaker 2: you wake up and his little stairs are by the bed,
Speaker 2: and it's just like what do we do with the stairs,
Speaker 2: Like do we throw them away? Do we move them?
Speaker 2: Like his hairs are on my pillow. I go in
Speaker 2: the morning to feed the dogs, and I grab three
Speaker 2: bowls instead of two, Like just your whole life, this
Speaker 2: like major part of your life. There's just this massive
Speaker 2: void now. I mean it's just true and utter grief
Speaker 2: and just having to navigate through it. It's horrible. I
Speaker 2: definitely like have such a new empathy for my clients
Speaker 2: that are single or don't have a partner in life,
Speaker 2: or are widowed, whatever it may be. Because I relied
Speaker 2: heavily on you, I would say, yeah, through that, you're
Speaker 2: so strong, So thank you.
Speaker 1: I think the other like, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: like super well set up on after that, because then
Speaker 1: you have the they come and creamate in and then
Speaker 1: the next day they're like delivering a box and like
Speaker 1: everybody's sending flowers, which is like really generous and like
Speaker 1: I very much appreciate that everybody did that, but it's
Speaker 1: like kind of just a constant reminder.
Speaker 3: And then they're like so quick to give you the
Speaker 3: ashes and.
Speaker 1: You're just like.
Speaker 3: Maybe just wait a week, you think, yeah, like.
Speaker 1: And then they show up at the door and they're
Speaker 1: like we're bringing big home. I'm like, oh, well, here
Speaker 1: comes the water works. It happened and again I know.
Speaker 3: I was like, just just give me a week.
Speaker 2: I don't, but that's interesting. I feel like we could
Speaker 2: ask the crematorium to do that. I think it's like
Speaker 2: great service that they bring it to you the next day.
Speaker 3: I mean the nicest people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they're like, you know, they're they come to
Speaker 1: the door, they're crying. I'm like, and you, I did
Speaker 1: it without you telling you when they were coming, because
Speaker 1: I was like trying to like kind of shield that.
Speaker 1: And they're like, we're here to bring biggie home.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, I hate that. I can't even think
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 3: I just can please shut up?
Speaker 1: Like I know you're so sweet and you're like you're
Speaker 1: really thoughtful, but like I just I just need to
Speaker 1: cry and.
Speaker 3: Look yeah, like for a few minutes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is really sad. Some places, some VET clinics
Speaker 2: will hold the ashes for you, which is nice. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so it doesn't have to they don't have to come
Speaker 2: home the next day, but yeah, the following days after.
Speaker 1: To me prints the paw princess and like, awful, his
Speaker 1: hair is stuck to it.
Speaker 2: I this might be weird. I don't know if this
Speaker 2: is weird or not, but I have I can't bring
Speaker 2: myself to put his pawprint like up on a shelf,
Speaker 2: So it's sitting on my nightstand, my bedstand, right next
Speaker 2: to my bed and like I'm a freak. Like every
Speaker 2: night I just like put my little finger on the pall,
Speaker 2: like tell him good night. And I know now I'm
Speaker 2: like people are gonna think I'm so weird. I don't care.
Speaker 2: He was the love of my life. And his little
Speaker 2: hairs like somehow got into the clay Grinch toes.
Speaker 3: I mean, we need to upload a photo of his
Speaker 3: Grinch shoes.
Speaker 1: Because they was cute. He was cute, like at first,
Speaker 1: not cute, but like his toes, he was so beautiful, hideous,
Speaker 1: Like if you the movie The Grinch, it's a perfect image.
Speaker 1: Like if we could have died him green.
Speaker 2: He had such beautiful fur and hair.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Remember one time in the summer, this is when he
Speaker 2: had first gotten diagnosed with heart disease and I'm such
Speaker 2: a crazy dog mom, and our ac went out and
Speaker 2: he was so high. It was August in Tennessee. He's
Speaker 2: like kind of panting. I'm like, okay, like the AC's out,
Speaker 2: I need to keep him cool, Like what the hell's
Speaker 2: going on? And you're on a work call, and I
Speaker 2: go back to the bathroom and I take clippers and
Speaker 2: I give him a full throttle buzz cut. And this
Speaker 2: dog had long, beautiful hair. And the next thing I
Speaker 2: know is you're on your call and like, look at
Speaker 2: what I did. And he's running by you. And his
Speaker 2: head is like a fluffy ball like Maine, and the
Speaker 2: rest of his body is like a naked mule rat.
Speaker 1: Like a hot dog.
Speaker 3: He looked like in like an over.
Speaker 1: Stuffed hot dog.
Speaker 3: You were like, oh my god, we're gonna have to
Speaker 3: hide him for a while.
Speaker 2: He loved his haircut.
Speaker 1: I think that was the same time. Then we would
Speaker 1: take him out on walks and people would be like,
Speaker 1: did you get a third dog? And we're like, I no, no, no,
Speaker 1: he's been here longer than the other two.
Speaker 2: He's been here forever. He just doesn't like to walk
Speaker 2: in the heat. He has heart disease. Okay, oh my gosh. Yeah,
Speaker 2: he had such beautiful for anyways. Beautiful, Yeah, I guess,
Speaker 2: like I do know other owners that like keep their
Speaker 2: ashes in the earth. They never spread them. Like whatever
Speaker 2: you need to do to feel good, If you want
Speaker 2: to put that popprint on your nightstand and kiss it
Speaker 2: good night every night. You do what you need to do.
Speaker 2: Because I'm laughing right now. I'm like I was talking
Speaker 2: to Morgan, I was like, am I gonna cry during
Speaker 2: this episode? I feel like I'm like a little like
Speaker 2: maybe dad inside right now, I don't know all my tears,
Speaker 2: have no tears left. I cried so much, but yeah,
Speaker 2: whatever you need to do to get through, because there's
Speaker 2: really no worst grief in the world. And I've said
Speaker 2: it once, I'll say it again. I have had so
Speaker 2: many people say I didn't cry this much when my
Speaker 2: mom died. I didn't cry this much when my grandma died.
Speaker 2: And I'm telling you it's because they are like your
Speaker 2: mom and your grandma don't get into bed with you
Speaker 2: every single night like they are not It's such an
Speaker 2: intimate relationship.
Speaker 1: I would have preferred Biggie not getting into bed with
Speaker 1: us every night. But lost that fight too, you did.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure there will be another before you know it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean he was, Yeah, he was constantly there.
Speaker 3: He was a shadow to you.
Speaker 1: He was always in your shadow, running around after you.
Speaker 1: Your relationship with him was twenty four to seven and
Speaker 1: my relationship with him was when you weren't around.
Speaker 3: So he was.
Speaker 1: He was full of life, he was a fighter. He
Speaker 1: brought me a tremendous amount of joy. He also brought
Speaker 1: me a tremendous amount of headache. But at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, we made the right decision, and I
Speaker 1: think the aftermath and the grief that came from it
Speaker 1: was just the normal phases of grief, where if we
Speaker 1: were to do it all again, I don't think we
Speaker 1: would have changed the thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. Everyone asked me, are you going to
Speaker 2: get a third dog? Are you going to get a
Speaker 2: third dog? Well, I won't be telling you before we do.
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding. I don't know. I don't really even
Speaker 2: feel like I am ready for that at all.
Speaker 1: It's a huge void to fill. Yeah, he was.
Speaker 3: He was the personality of the house and he was
Speaker 3: the boss.
Speaker 1: He was. He was half the weight of Siah and
Speaker 1: a tenth of the way of Oakley or a fifth
Speaker 1: of the way of Oakley. And he he ran the household.
Speaker 3: He was the he was the mafia boss of this,
Speaker 3: the total boss.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think I need a breather.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's just you know, you're never going to
Speaker 1: get a dog to fill that void. And I think
Speaker 1: taking a few weeks months here, maybe a little bit longer,
Speaker 1: we'll see, because we don't want to fill that void
Speaker 1: because nothing will come close to him, like we'll have
Speaker 1: to go so dramatically like another syah, right, she's perfect.
Speaker 2: I also think too, like I never really go seeking
Speaker 2: them out too much. They tend to just find us.
Speaker 2: So whatever, if an animal that needs a home that
Speaker 2: nobody else wants, I'll take it. We'll wait and see
Speaker 2: what that is and when it's meant to be in
Speaker 2: our life. I will say, if you only have one.
Speaker 3: Pet, that would be hard.
Speaker 2: You've got to take it back on the wagon or
Speaker 2: just like get a second one, because I not if
Speaker 2: I didn't have my other two to like be there
Speaker 2: with me to get me through this. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know how people with one pet do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, that was a weird revelation too. After Biggie passed,
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, let's bring the other dogs
Speaker 1: so they can say they're goodbye. And at that exact moment,
Speaker 1: I looked at you and I was like, I have
Speaker 1: just come to the revelation that dogs cannot critically think
Speaker 1: like they cannot recognize that he's not alive, and they.
Speaker 2: Were just like totally unfazed, Right, where's the string cheese?
Speaker 3: Totally unfaced, which is which is a great.
Speaker 1: Bounce back from the trauma of letting go of a
Speaker 1: pa of a dog, because Si would come up and
Speaker 1: she'd be like what changed. She would be like a
Speaker 1: grounding force where she's like, like, we would be sad,
Speaker 1: but she's like I'm still here.
Speaker 2: She's like, it's okay, I'm here. Yeah, I think it's
Speaker 2: I like to give other pets the opportunity to say
Speaker 2: goodbye to the animal. With that said, I don't know
Speaker 2: that they should always be present for the euthanasia themselves.
Speaker 2: You know, your pet's better than anyone, so if you
Speaker 2: feel like they need to be present, of course, in
Speaker 2: my experience, like I want my I want to have
Speaker 2: one on one time with my pet, but I also
Speaker 2: like to give my other pets the opportunity to at
Speaker 2: least sniff them, like if they can even interpret that
Speaker 2: we have determined that anxia in Oakley, we're unfazed. But
Speaker 2: you know, I think it's nice at least like give
Speaker 2: them the opportunity. But yeah, they certainly do not critically
Speaker 2: think like humans do, and that is why we love them.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's very very pure. That's I was actually
Speaker 1: just about to say that. I was like, that was
Speaker 1: one of the more pure moments that I've seen because
Speaker 1: they have spent years with Biggie, they love Biggie. And
Speaker 1: then Biggie wasn't moving and they physically couldn't recognize it,
Speaker 1: and they just went on with their day. They went
Speaker 1: over the couch and got on it and fell asleep. Yeah,
Speaker 1: was like, and I was at that moment, I was
Speaker 1: like upset. I was like, you guys, this is your brother,
Speaker 1: come say goodbye. It wasn't actually upset, but I was.
Speaker 1: I was trying to digest it. And then I was like, well,
Speaker 1: this is what's so pure about animals is yeah, they
Speaker 1: might get a shot in the butt and yelp like
Speaker 1: Biggie did, but thirty seconds later or three seconds later,
Speaker 1: it was yeah, it was there and gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah they're half glassful all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, all the time. So that was that was peaceful.
Speaker 2: Okay. I want to end this episode with an excerpt
Speaker 2: that I read online. I can't I even put it
Speaker 2: into chat GPT, which you know knows everything and I
Speaker 2: can't find who the author is. So if you're the author,
Speaker 2: let me know. It's been floating around. It's called you
Speaker 2: do it anyway. I have to pull it up here,
Speaker 2: and is this about Biggie No, no, no, no, no, no, okay,
Speaker 2: it's an excerpt. You'll see what it is. It's I
Speaker 2: don't know the exact context. I think I like to
Speaker 2: envision it as it's a parent talking in the first person.
Speaker 2: The parent is speaking to their child, Okay, and it's
Speaker 2: called you do it anyway. Okay, ready, So you're going
Speaker 2: to give them a lecture the listeners right now.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, nogie, Biggie spirit, you're gonna lecture.
Speaker 2: No, no, no. This is just like a it's about
Speaker 2: like loving a pet and euthanasia.
Speaker 3: Got it.
Speaker 2: Pipe down over there.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 2: So this is in the perspective of the appearan. It's
Speaker 2: a risky thing, giving your heart to a dog, I said,
Speaker 2: staring at the leash still hanging by the door, because
Speaker 2: you know right from the start that they won't stay forever.
Speaker 2: You sign up for an ending before you even begin.
Speaker 2: She shifted in her chair, waiting. So I kept going.
Speaker 2: But you do it anyway. You let them in. You
Speaker 2: let them take up space in your home and your
Speaker 2: routines and the parts of you that you didn't even
Speaker 2: realize needed filling. And before you know it, they've got
Speaker 2: a piece of you, one you won't ever get back,
Speaker 2: even long after they're gone. I ax healed, shaking my head.
Speaker 2: The funny thing is you never regret it, not even
Speaker 2: when the end comes, not even when it recks you
Speaker 2: in ways you weren't ready for, because somehow the love
Speaker 2: they give outweighs the pain every single time. She nodded,
Speaker 2: a small, knowing smile crossing her face. So you do
Speaker 2: it anyway, she said, Yeah, you do it anyway. I
Speaker 2: think that's so sweet.
Speaker 1: It is very sweet.
Speaker 2: So on that note, smart, thank you.
Speaker 3: I think that's the first time I've ever remitted that.
Speaker 2: You're glad I picked. I love that, and I'm glad
Speaker 2: I have you. Not to get too sappy, but thanks
Speaker 2: for being here, being there for me, being a great
Speaker 2: dog dad and being on today's episode. Thanks for inviting me,
Speaker 2: all right, And that's a rap.
Speaker 1: Guys.
Speaker 2: As always, be sure to rate, review, subscribe. You can
Speaker 2: find me at doctor Josivette on Instagram. Send me a
Speaker 2: DM let me know what you thought of today's episode,
Speaker 2: and we will be back, same time, same place next week.