Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: it's me Jenny. Welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast.
Speaker 1: You are all showing up for our new podcast, and
Speaker 1: I am so grateful. I'm reading all of your reviews
Speaker 1: and your comments and I'm just loving all of it.
Speaker 1: This spot is for you, guys, So I want you
Speaker 1: to tell me what you want to hear about from me.
Speaker 1: What topic do you want us to delve into. What
Speaker 1: decision have maybe you made that you want to talk about,
Speaker 1: and tell us what you learned from it. Let us know.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. Do you believe in
Speaker 1: trusting your gut making decisions based on instinct? This next
Speaker 1: story is an example of when I trusted my gut
Speaker 1: on one of the biggest choices I ever had to
Speaker 1: make decision that would alter the trajectory of my life forever.
Speaker 1: And I had to make this decision when I was
Speaker 1: only seventeen years old. But first I want to introduce
Speaker 1: you to another member of my team, my life team.
Speaker 1: Randy James started as a page at ABC, the network ABC,
Speaker 1: you know the one, when he was only eighteen years old,
Speaker 1: and quickly rose through the ranks of the company to
Speaker 1: become the director of casting for the whole network. In
Speaker 1: nineteen eighty six, he started his own talent management company
Speaker 1: at the age of twenty nine. He is my longtime manager,
Speaker 1: my best friend, my father figure, my discoverer. I call
Speaker 1: him mister Showbiz and you can too.
Speaker 2: Hey, Jenny Garth.
Speaker 1: Don't ever call me by my full name. That makes
Speaker 1: me feel like I'm in trouble.
Speaker 2: Look at you with your own podcast.
Speaker 1: Are you proud now?
Speaker 2: I possibly be any prouder. This is so cool, This
Speaker 2: is so exciting.
Speaker 1: We're talking about choices, Randy.
Speaker 2: I know, I know, we've all made a few.
Speaker 1: Good Yep, you chose me, I chose you. That's a
Speaker 1: whole nother story. We'll tell that another time. But today
Speaker 1: I want to talk about the choice to do Beverly
Speaker 1: Hill's line Up two one now, and you were there.
Speaker 2: I was there, and I'll bet a lot of people
Speaker 2: don't know. But it actually was a choice because you
Speaker 2: had two different shows that were interested in you, that
Speaker 2: wanted you, and you had to make a choice between them.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: It was not an easy choice.
Speaker 1: Wow, I forget about that that there was another show
Speaker 1: on the table. It wasn't like it was another offer
Speaker 1: on the table. It was just another audition, right, Well.
Speaker 2: No, they actually wanted you. So, yes, you were in
Speaker 2: a position where you could have had either show.
Speaker 1: At the time, Wow, look at me.
Speaker 2: Just to get give a little context for the listener.
Speaker 2: When you came out, it was nineteen eighty nine and
Speaker 2: you had done a couple of things. You did one
Speaker 2: episode of Growing Pains. Do you remember that?
Speaker 1: Yes? I do. I remember the line you want to
Speaker 1: hear it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would love to hear it.
Speaker 1: Sticky, sticky, sticky. And that was it. Sticky, sticky, sticky.
Speaker 1: That was my line.
Speaker 2: You don't remember, you know what. It's amazing, but it
Speaker 2: escaped me momentarily.
Speaker 1: There I reminded you.
Speaker 2: Then the other thing you did, I don't know if
Speaker 2: you were you'll, well, of course remember this. You did
Speaker 2: a TV movie I think it was for Disney called
Speaker 2: Teen Angel Returns.
Speaker 1: Starring Jason Priestley.
Speaker 2: How crazy is that?
Speaker 1: That's right, we played in a movie together. I don't
Speaker 1: think we were like love interests or anything. I really
Speaker 1: don't remember at all.
Speaker 2: And then you did a short lived series called A
Speaker 2: Brand New Life where you played Barbara Eden's daughter and
Speaker 2: By the way, that should be an episode of your podcast.
Speaker 2: You should bring Barbara on because she's such an influence
Speaker 2: on you.
Speaker 1: She has a huge influence on me, Like as an actress,
Speaker 1: I want let's Booker Booker Dano. We need her on
Speaker 1: the show. But let's talk about okay. So the shows
Speaker 1: that we were looking at. One was something called Whole
Speaker 1: Street High, right, right.
Speaker 2: I think it ended up going on there as Hull High,
Speaker 2: Hole High, Yes, And that was an NBC pilot. A
Speaker 2: little bit of background. NBC, I believe at the time
Speaker 2: was the number one network.
Speaker 1: Fuck.
Speaker 2: Huge Box was this upstart network that had just come
Speaker 2: on the scene that really not a whole lot of
Speaker 2: people were.
Speaker 1: Watching, right, It didn't even exist until what nineteen eighty nine.
Speaker 2: Right, I mean nine o two one. I was one
Speaker 2: of the first series nine to two one. I ended up,
Speaker 2: along with The Simpsons, being the one of the shows
Speaker 2: that really launched that network, that got people to start
Speaker 2: watching it. Now. Hull High was the concept of the show.
Speaker 2: It was a set in a high school, but there
Speaker 2: was a major singing and dancing component, and it was
Speaker 2: directed and the series was going to be directed by
Speaker 2: a guy named Kenny Ortega. Which most people today remember
Speaker 2: from High School Musical. He directed the High School Musical.
Speaker 1: And all the dancing and all the numbers, all the
Speaker 1: dance was master.
Speaker 2: Before that, he did all of the choreography for Dirty Dancing,
Speaker 2: for Madonna's videos, for San Elmo's Fire. I mean, he
Speaker 2: was a major, major force in that world, the world
Speaker 2: that so the fact that he was a part of
Speaker 2: Hull High and Hull High was going to be on
Speaker 2: the number one network was huge. Aran Spelling was at
Speaker 2: that time god going through kind of a lull in
Speaker 2: his career. He had been super super successful when he
Speaker 2: was had all the shows on ABC, right, and I.
Speaker 1: Knew about all those shows like I watched The Love Vote.
Speaker 1: I grew up with Aaron Spelling shows.
Speaker 2: Charlie's Angels, Dynasty, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island. Now, I
Speaker 2: was at ABC in those days and ABC was There
Speaker 2: were only three networks and ABC was number three. It
Speaker 2: was doing really, really poorly. They started working with Aaron
Speaker 2: and it went to number one all because of him.
Speaker 2: In fact, they used to joke and say that ABC
Speaker 2: stood for Aaron's Broadcasting Company. So now Aaron came up
Speaker 2: with this show along with Darren Starr, for Fox, and
Speaker 2: so it really was a risk because Aaron wasn't hot
Speaker 2: at that moment. X was this new.
Speaker 1: Network nobody knew about.
Speaker 2: Yeah, nobody knew about. So it really was a risk.
Speaker 2: I actually, because of my experience working with Aaron at ABC,
Speaker 2: I didn't count this guy out. He was an absolute
Speaker 2: genius and here he had an opportunity to work with
Speaker 2: this fledgling television network who was probably really thrilled to
Speaker 2: work with him. And I thought that that possibly could
Speaker 2: be just the right combination.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you sort of guided me in that direction
Speaker 1: a little bit, and I remember thinking, Wow, this is
Speaker 1: incredible to be at the sort of fork in a
Speaker 1: road where I get to have two things on the
Speaker 1: table to decide between. And it was a I remember
Speaker 1: being like, I don't know what to do. This is
Speaker 1: it was scary, you know, it's a very big decision.
Speaker 2: It is. And there was one other piece of this,
Speaker 2: which is when I first met you. The first time
Speaker 2: I saw you, I saw you dancing. That's right, Yeah,
Speaker 2: And in Hull High it was all about dance. That's
Speaker 2: why they had Kenny Ortegas. So that was another sort
Speaker 2: of if you're doing the pros and com that was
Speaker 2: another one for a Hull High, So it really was.
Speaker 1: Which one they kind of balance each other out. But honestly,
Speaker 1: doing the show with Fox and for Aaron Spelling was
Speaker 1: a riskier.
Speaker 2: Move on paper. It absolutely was. There was no question
Speaker 2: about that. And that's why at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: it really came down to you having to go with
Speaker 2: your gut on this, because all I can do is
Speaker 2: your manager is say, well, here pros and here are
Speaker 2: the cons and here's what could happen. But I've learned
Speaker 2: in this business that it's this is not a business.
Speaker 2: It's based on science, you know, or based on statistics.
Speaker 2: And over the years, I've seen many examples where what
Speaker 2: everybody thought was going to happen didn't happen. I mean,
Speaker 2: back in ninety four, there were two shows that were
Speaker 2: set in hospitals that were procedural shows. One was called
Speaker 2: Chicago Hope and it was produced by DAVIDY Kelly, who
Speaker 2: was a huge producer at the time, and the other
Speaker 2: one was called Er. And at the time, everyone in
Speaker 2: the business thought that Chicago Hope was going to take
Speaker 2: off and be this enormous success and run for you know,
Speaker 2: ten years, and Er, you know, was going to peter out,
Speaker 2: not go anywhere now Chicago Hope did Day on the
Speaker 2: air for a few years. But Er became Er and
Speaker 2: gave us George Clooney, Oh, the gift, the gift. The gift.
Speaker 2: George Clueney changed George Clooney's career because he had been
Speaker 2: around for a while. He had auditioned for US at
Speaker 2: ABC on all kinds of things, and he'd been working
Speaker 2: here and there. But he made a choice. He went
Speaker 2: on that show and against probably almost everybody in the
Speaker 2: business's guests, Er became the juggernaut that it became and
Speaker 2: launched his career in a lot of other people's careers too.
Speaker 2: So at the end of the day, it had to
Speaker 2: come down to a gut decision that you had to make.
Speaker 1: That I had to make. What I was sixteen, seventeen
Speaker 1: years old, right, How can sixteen or seventeen year old
Speaker 1: make a gut decision of that magnitude.
Speaker 2: Well, you you had input from me, you had input
Speaker 2: you know, other people in your life. But at the
Speaker 2: end of the day, I think that there was probably
Speaker 2: probably even if you don't remember, the conscious conversation that
Speaker 2: you had with yourself at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: something about this decision had to feel right, and I
Speaker 2: think that's why. I think that's why they call it
Speaker 2: a gut decision, because sometimes it's not a conscious, intellectual
Speaker 2: decision that you make, but just a feeling that maybe
Speaker 2: you can't even articulate or explain, you know.
Speaker 1: I mean that happens a lot when you make a choice.
Speaker 1: Then you just go with your gut, and it's really scary,
Speaker 1: but that's like the ultimate decision maker. I think if
Speaker 1: we listen to our guts, listen to you know, that
Speaker 1: little voice inside of us. And that's what I did.
Speaker 1: I took all of your advice, and I took all
Speaker 1: of the pros and all of the cons, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, I choose Beverly Hills nine or two
Speaker 1: on it. Oh that's the show for me. And I
Speaker 1: didn't know why I chose it, but I did.
Speaker 2: Here we are, I'm definitely happy. Let me ask you
Speaker 2: a question that I don't know if we've ever discussed
Speaker 2: when you went on to Beverly Hills nine O two
Speaker 2: and zero. Because most people in the industry teenagers, a
Speaker 2: lot of them, and this is the case I think
Speaker 2: with every one of your co stars on that show
Speaker 2: started in the industry when they were kids. I think
Speaker 2: all of them worked as kids in the industry, or
Speaker 2: at least you know, had been in the business for
Speaker 2: a while.
Speaker 1: You're so right, every single one of them. Yeah, Sanna,
Speaker 1: jason Ian definitely was, Brian was Gab was Tory what everybody.
Speaker 2: And they had all been doing it for a while.
Speaker 2: And you had just blown into town basically a year before.
Speaker 1: I had just gotten off the bus.
Speaker 2: But I'm wondering how that felt. I don't know if
Speaker 2: you've ever heard the expression imposter syndrome, which is a
Speaker 2: phrase that's used with actors in the entertainment industry, but
Speaker 2: I think it can apply to a lot of areas
Speaker 2: where you find yourself in a job where you're there,
Speaker 2: but there's a little voice in your head that says,
Speaker 2: what am I doing here? I think all these people
Speaker 2: maybe made a huge mistake. And I'm just wondering if
Speaker 2: you ever had that feeling when you got on this
Speaker 2: show and you looked around and you had done a
Speaker 2: little bit of work, but not much, and you'd only
Speaker 2: been here for a year and you're working with all
Speaker 2: of these people, if you ever felt that.
Speaker 1: Way, I mean that's interesting that you should ask that question.
Speaker 1: I do remember being at the first read through, the
Speaker 1: first like gathering of the whole cast. We were at
Speaker 1: Aaron Spelling's house, and I just remember being out of
Speaker 1: my mind and nervous, like seriously kind of out of
Speaker 1: my body. That was that kind of experience. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I surely felt that then. I didn't know that it
Speaker 1: was called imposter syndrome. I didn't even know what imposter
Speaker 1: syndrome was until very recently and someone told me about
Speaker 1: it and I was like, oh, wow, okay, yeah, I
Speaker 1: had that yesterday. I literally have that on a daily
Speaker 1: basis something I'm working on.
Speaker 2: Well, I think doing this podcast, I think hopefully you're
Speaker 2: going to be able to work through your imposter syndrome,
Speaker 2: and maybe we do a whole episode just on that,
Speaker 2: and we take questions from the audience or experiences that
Speaker 2: some of your fans listeners have had and how they
Speaker 2: maybe can apply the things that you've learned to work
Speaker 2: through that those feelings that they have of not feeling
Speaker 2: that they deserve or have earned where they are, because
Speaker 2: the truth of the matter is, you actually did deserve
Speaker 2: everything that you've gotten. You wouldn't have gotten that job
Speaker 2: if you hadn't gone in there and beaten out a
Speaker 2: whole lot of other.
Speaker 1: People for it, I guess so, so you.
Speaker 2: Did deserve to be there. But then all of us
Speaker 2: have that little voice in our head that says, I
Speaker 2: don't deserve to be here. What have these people done?
Speaker 2: This is crazy? And that's something that probably a lot
Speaker 2: of people can.
Speaker 1: Relate to in their own Absolutely, I mean, that's a
Speaker 1: huge topic. We definitely definitely need to talk about that,
Speaker 1: because not only did I struggle with it when I
Speaker 1: was a young girl, I've struggled with it my whole life,
Speaker 1: and I struggle with it literally this past weekend, like
Speaker 1: it's something that you have to learn how to control.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I definitely had it back then. So I
Speaker 1: see how that decision really impacted the overall trajectory of
Speaker 1: my entire life. Like that moment was a defining moment
Speaker 1: when I decided to say yes to Beverly Hills nine
Speaker 1: two and oh and I decided to jump into that
Speaker 1: cast and go on that ride. You know what a
Speaker 1: profound impact it had on my life. I mean, were
Speaker 1: you scared at all when you see you saw what
Speaker 1: was happening?
Speaker 2: Yes, because aficionados of nine O two and oh may
Speaker 2: remember that the show was not an instant hit. It
Speaker 2: struggled and Hull High did go on the air. It
Speaker 2: went on for a few episodes. I don't think it
Speaker 2: ran a full season. Was canceled, I think part way through.
Speaker 2: But both shows were on the air, and both shows
Speaker 2: were struggling, And it wasn't until the summer summer.
Speaker 1: The summer episodes, the bathing.
Speaker 2: Why don't you tell the listeners who may not be
Speaker 2: what happened in the summer, Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1: The producers were genius. They saw that the show wasn't
Speaker 1: doing well. People we didn't know about it, you know.
Speaker 1: And also Fox was a smaller network, so it didn't
Speaker 1: have the like wide release that you would want a
Speaker 1: show like that to have, and they decided to while
Speaker 1: all the other shows on network television were showing reruns
Speaker 1: because they were taking a break in their production schedules,
Speaker 1: so they decided to continue shooting throughout the summer and
Speaker 1: play those episodes during the summer months. So when people
Speaker 1: had the option to watch the same old rerun that
Speaker 1: they had watched a million times, or to watch this
Speaker 1: new show about Beverly Hills. I think it started to
Speaker 1: grab people's attention, and that's when we got that sort
Speaker 1: of momentum building up. You know, we found our audience.
Speaker 2: Isn't that when they introduced the beach Club and they
Speaker 2: did all of this.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't hurt that we were all in bikinis
Speaker 1: and right, and then the guys are shirtless. Yep, that'll
Speaker 1: get you some ratings. So a good choice on their part,
Speaker 1: for sure.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, what if I hadn't made the choice? Can you imagine, like,
Speaker 1: I mean, the sky's the limit on that imagination, what
Speaker 1: my life would be like if I hadn't done Beverly
Speaker 1: Hills nine or two or zero? Who knows?
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, because you know, this is such a brutal business.
Speaker 2: And you go back and you look at the cast
Speaker 2: of Hull High and they were all good actors, and
Speaker 2: the young lady that got your role is a good actress.
Speaker 2: But they've gone on and they've all worked here and there,
Speaker 2: But I don't think that any of them went on
Speaker 2: to have the kind of career that the cast of
Speaker 2: your show had, or certainly, you know, no one's talking
Speaker 2: about them or those roles thirty years down the road.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, you're like, thank you life. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's just like a force, you know, Like in life,
Speaker 1: sometimes you don't know you're making choices, but you're making
Speaker 1: some really big ones. And this was one of those
Speaker 1: moments for me, and I could have never never known
Speaker 1: how it would end up. Do you think that there's
Speaker 1: an element of fate for all of us in our choices?
Speaker 1: Like you can measure the pros and the cons all
Speaker 1: you want, when you can write it down and listen
Speaker 1: and talk about them to your shrink or whatever you
Speaker 1: need to do, But there's that element inside all of us,
Speaker 1: like you said, that little voice, that gut instinct, call
Speaker 1: it fate if you will do you think, yeah, it
Speaker 1: works right?
Speaker 2: And I think the message I think is that maybe
Speaker 2: it's important to almost like an exercise. You need to
Speaker 2: train your body to be able to do certain things,
Speaker 2: whether you want to be a runner or a swimmer
Speaker 2: or whatever. Maybe there's a process where we have to
Speaker 2: train our brains to listen for that instinctual message. And yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, you can rack that message up to fate
Speaker 2: or God or the universe or whatever, but the important
Speaker 2: thing is to hear it and not have it drowned
Speaker 2: out by all the other voices in your head, because
Speaker 2: I think statistically, on paper, if you went through those
Speaker 2: two choices that you had, the statistical choice to make
Speaker 2: would have been hull high for all the reasons that
Speaker 2: we discussed.
Speaker 1: And I know for me, when I'm faced with a decision,
Speaker 1: especially like a career decision, where you basically say, here
Speaker 1: are all the pros and here all the cons and
Speaker 1: you really do help me break it down and think
Speaker 1: it through. But then at the end of that conversation
Speaker 1: you also say, but it's up to you, and I
Speaker 1: will support you whatever you decide. So you hand it
Speaker 1: back to me, and I'm like, oh God, well, scary.
Speaker 1: But the truth is, even if I can't make the
Speaker 1: decision in that moment, I usually will take some time
Speaker 1: with it and sit with it and really, like you said,
Speaker 1: get quiet and listen to my inner voice, my instinct,
Speaker 1: and then go with that because when I get that
Speaker 1: direct message from the core of who I am, I
Speaker 1: know that's the right decision every time. Even if it's
Speaker 1: the wrong decision, it's the right decision.
Speaker 2: You've said before, there been times that you've made the
Speaker 2: wrong decision or the wrong choice in your life, but
Speaker 2: there's also a way of looking at those choices and
Speaker 2: recognizing that sometimes you have to look at things from
Speaker 2: the perspective and the luxury of looking at it from
Speaker 2: a year down the road or further. My wife has
Speaker 2: a phrase that she's always used, could be good, could
Speaker 2: be bad. And sometimes in the moment, you don't know
Speaker 2: if whatever is happening to you in the moment is
Speaker 2: good or bad. But you look back at that moment
Speaker 2: six months, a year or more, then you realize, oh wow,
Speaker 2: I didn't realize it at the time. I thought that
Speaker 2: was one of the worst things that ever happened to me.
Speaker 2: But if that hadn't happened, that wouldn't have led to this,
Speaker 2: and that wouldn't have led to this exactly. But you
Speaker 2: realize if it wasn't for that at the time quote
Speaker 2: unquote wrong choice, you wouldn't be in this place where
Speaker 2: you are right now, you know, a year or two
Speaker 2: down the road, and.
Speaker 1: From where I sit now. When I look back on
Speaker 1: that decision that I made to be on the show,
Speaker 1: I never I don't think I ever came to you
Speaker 1: and said, oh I think I made the wrong decision.
Speaker 1: I think I made the wrong choice because it was
Speaker 1: such a great experience. Yeah, even the you know, the good,
Speaker 1: the bad, and the ugly of all of those ten years,
Speaker 1: it was the right decision.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well I have another question for you.
Speaker 1: Oh I like it when you ask you questions, Randy,
Speaker 1: mister Shobiz. Sorry.
Speaker 2: When this show took off, it took off in a
Speaker 2: way that not many shows, even super successful shows, take off,
Speaker 2: because it really was a touchstone for young people, for teenagers.
Speaker 2: It spoke to them in a way no other show
Speaker 2: had spoken to them before the level of fandom went
Speaker 2: from zero to sixty in a very short amount of time.
Speaker 2: You went from just being kind of a normal kid,
Speaker 2: if I could call you a kid, to which you
Speaker 2: were still a teenager at that time, to literally not
Speaker 2: being able to go to the mall or to go
Speaker 2: anywhere without being mobbed. I mean famously, there was there
Speaker 2: was an autograph signing an event at a mall that
Speaker 2: you and Luke went to, and it became so crazy
Speaker 2: that the state police had to be called in and
Speaker 2: they had to like smuggle to take the two of
Speaker 2: you out of the thing because they were seriously afraid.
Speaker 2: People were fainting and bodies were being passed up onto
Speaker 2: the stage and oh my god, sanity bananas. What was
Speaker 2: that like for the young girl who's pastime prior to
Speaker 2: this was riding her huffey through cemeteries and talking to
Speaker 2: dead people.
Speaker 1: I can see that that's going to be the clickbait
Speaker 1: now that I talk to dead people, which is fine
Speaker 1: because I do. I love it. Wow, Yeah, you were there,
Speaker 1: I think for some of those. I remember one of
Speaker 1: it where you were there in the stage was like
Speaker 1: moving and then all of a sudden you like hustled
Speaker 1: me out of there.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was.
Speaker 2: Wild when I booked you into that, and I think
Speaker 2: that was the first one that you went to.
Speaker 1: I think it was by myself. I was by myself
Speaker 1: on that one.
Speaker 2: We're by yourself on that one. And if I remember correctly,
Speaker 2: it was an Indiana and it was the first indoor
Speaker 2: mall ever in the country. And I was talking to
Speaker 2: the manager of the place and I said, listen, you
Speaker 2: know what kind of security do you have here, because
Speaker 2: there's going I think there's going to be like levels
Speaker 2: of crowds that you've never seen before. And he said,
Speaker 2: do you know how long I've been doing this? And
Speaker 2: do you know how long this mall has been open
Speaker 2: and we've had all kinds of people here. Don't worry
Speaker 2: about the security we've you know, we've we've got our
Speaker 2: six security guys and they've been here for well.
Speaker 1: The voice he used to.
Speaker 2: I was, yes, exactly that it's still in my head.
Speaker 2: We got there and the six security guys were a
Speaker 2: little bit overwhelmed. I mean it was completely nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there were people up above us hanging off the
Speaker 1: railings insanity. I was like, wait, what is happening? Who
Speaker 1: are they here to see? They're here to see me?
Speaker 1: It felt surreal, like completely like a movie of some kind.
Speaker 1: I had to like step outside of myself to get
Speaker 1: through that. And basically those are the times when I learned,
Speaker 1: you it's go time, Like, it doesn't matter how fraid
Speaker 1: you are, it doesn't matter that you've never done this before,
Speaker 1: it doesn't matter that you're doing this on your own.
Speaker 1: It's go time.
Speaker 2: Just do it right.
Speaker 1: And I think that's been like something that served me
Speaker 1: well for the rest of my life is sometimes you know,
Speaker 1: like when I'm about to go do a talk show
Speaker 1: or an appearance somewhere, Yeah, I have to tell myself,
Speaker 1: like it's go time, let's go do this.
Speaker 2: Don't be afraid that took a lot of guts for you,
Speaker 2: because in those days, because you'd never been in the
Speaker 2: public eye and you were not I don't think you
Speaker 2: were anybody that ever craved attention like that. No, you
Speaker 2: were very uncomfortable with people even staring at you, or
Speaker 2: being in crowds of people or being the center of attention.
Speaker 2: And here you were, I think there were like eight
Speaker 2: to ten thousand people in this mall screaming, and you
Speaker 2: could very easily have said, I can't go out there.
Speaker 2: There's no way I could go out there. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: but you knew you didn't have a choice. And by
Speaker 2: the way, you were going to say a few words
Speaker 2: and then you're going to sit down, and all eight
Speaker 2: thousand of those people were going to theoretically come up
Speaker 2: to you and take pictures with you, and you'd be
Speaker 2: signing autographs and having to have like an interaction with
Speaker 2: all of them. You had to be in a full
Speaker 2: blown panic given the person that you were at that time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was cutting my teeth and learning how to
Speaker 1: deal with stuff like that my future, basically, And I
Speaker 1: got thrown right into the deep end on that one,
Speaker 1: for sure, because yeah, like you said, I am not
Speaker 1: a person that likes the spotlight. I've never been in
Speaker 1: the spotlight. I grew up I had older half sisters
Speaker 1: and older half brothers, and I was the baby of
Speaker 1: the family. So I spent a lot of time not
Speaker 1: wanting anybody to give me extra special attention because I
Speaker 1: wanted my sisters and my brothers to see me as
Speaker 1: equal to them. Like I didn't want any special treatment.
Speaker 1: I didn't want. I don't want my light to shine
Speaker 1: any brighter than anyone else's. And that's kind of how
Speaker 1: I walk through life. And I was not used to
Speaker 1: going to the store and having people stare at me
Speaker 1: like you said, or you know, follow me to my car,
Speaker 1: or having a pop rozzi take pictures of me. It
Speaker 1: was also foreign to me. And I remember when I
Speaker 1: wasn't doing events like that that were planned out and
Speaker 1: like you know, I was prepared for. I would stay home.
Speaker 1: I started to develop agoraphobia, where you don't leave the house,
Speaker 1: you don't go out, and you have somebody else go
Speaker 1: get your things you need and then you just stay home.
Speaker 1: And I started to do that. It was very isolating
Speaker 1: and very lonely, and it made it even worse when
Speaker 1: I did have to go out and perform, you know,
Speaker 1: or go do my job.
Speaker 2: The other thing, too, is that leading up to that,
Speaker 2: you were working fifteen hour days and the studio was
Speaker 2: located in a very weird place. You weren't on a
Speaker 2: film lot, you know, on a movie studio. It was
Speaker 2: sort of in an industrial complex that Aaron had rented
Speaker 2: out in the middle of this San Fernando Valley. I
Speaker 2: think they were shooting porn movies.
Speaker 1: They say so.
Speaker 2: The rumor has it. And like you said, when you
Speaker 2: when you weren't working, you were at home. But the
Speaker 2: other part of it is that Los Angeles is kind
Speaker 2: of a town that is used to seeing famous people.
Speaker 2: So even when you did go out in Los Angeles,
Speaker 2: for the most part, you probably didn't get the same
Speaker 2: level of fandom that you would going to a town
Speaker 2: in Indiana.
Speaker 1: I didn't even care. I stayed home, Like even I
Speaker 1: remember just being home a lot and doing lots of baking,
Speaker 1: lots of arts and crafts during that time period. Whenever
Speaker 1: I didn't have, you know, when I wasn't on set,
Speaker 1: I would just stay home and garden or something. I'm
Speaker 1: still kind of like that.
Speaker 2: Randy there you are. Yeah, but you've you've also, as
Speaker 2: you've you've proven again and again you've gone to a
Speaker 2: place that was so out of your comfort zone. Just recently,
Speaker 2: I just saw you stand up at an event for
Speaker 2: the American Heart Association and speak to hundreds of women
Speaker 2: who were leaders of business, cardiologists, all of these people
Speaker 2: and spoke to them, and you did it so wonderfully.
Speaker 2: And this is a testament to how far you've come,
Speaker 2: because I'm sure that little girl in writing her Huffey
Speaker 2: couldn't have imagined ever being in New York City standing
Speaker 2: up and talking to a crowd like that from for
Speaker 2: half an hour.
Speaker 1: Now, that room was intense. There were probably like five
Speaker 1: hundred people there. I was not prepared for that, but
Speaker 1: sometimes you just jump in. It's go time, you gotta
Speaker 1: do it.
Speaker 2: So what's the message for your listeners who can't imagine
Speaker 2: going from where they are now in their lives to
Speaker 2: where they would like to be.
Speaker 1: I mean, I would just remind them of this decision
Speaker 1: that I made and let that inspire them. I mean,
Speaker 1: choosing nine to two and l was one of the
Speaker 1: biggest decisions of my life. I played that character for
Speaker 1: ten years a decade. She became a part of who
Speaker 1: I am in all of the best ways, and that
Speaker 1: show took me around the world. It's given me immense opportunities.
Speaker 1: Even thirty years later, I get to attend conventions with
Speaker 1: my og cast, and I get to have a podcast
Speaker 1: about it. I get to have my own podcast. It's
Speaker 1: like the gift that keeps on giving. You know that show,
Speaker 1: that decision. I would say that if you're sitting out
Speaker 1: there and you're faced with a decision, whether it's a
Speaker 1: career decision or a personal decision, whatever it is, even
Speaker 1: if it seems daunting, trust your gut, period. It has
Speaker 1: all the answers, and it's right every time. We all
Speaker 1: have access to our gut, the clear answers, our best thinking,
Speaker 1: but we second guess it because we don't trust ourselves,
Speaker 1: or sometimes we want instant gratification, that easy way out.
Speaker 1: So sometimes when we're faced with a decision, faced with
Speaker 1: tuning in to our natural instinctual awareness, we abandon ourselves
Speaker 1: in that moment, and we know when we're doing it.
Speaker 1: You know that feeling when you hear yourself say you
Speaker 1: shouldn't be doing this, but you do it anyway. In
Speaker 1: that exact moment you didn't choose yourself. We abandon ourselves
Speaker 1: all the time. Learning to listen to our gut takes discipline.
Speaker 1: We have to be able to get quiet. We have
Speaker 1: to be able to get quiet and push aside all
Speaker 1: those outside voices and opinions that are constantly ricocheting around
Speaker 1: in our heads. When I'm faced with a big choice,
Speaker 1: a big decision, and I like to do this, I
Speaker 1: like to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths,
Speaker 1: and then I ask myself, what is the right decision
Speaker 1: for my highest good and for the highest good for
Speaker 1: all involved? And then I wait for the answer. My
Speaker 1: beautiful friend Jennifer Schaeffer taught me that little trick tuning
Speaker 1: into my intuition, listening to my instincts has served me
Speaker 1: time and time again. So can we all try that
Speaker 1: next week. Let's listen to ourselves a little more. Let's
Speaker 1: listen for those gut instincts, even if you just take
Speaker 1: notice of them. That's a great start to learning to
Speaker 1: listen and trust ourselves. I don't know about you, but
Speaker 1: I feel like this is my life. Who else am
Speaker 1: I going to trust to make the right decisions for me?
Speaker 1: I love you now. I want you to go to
Speaker 1: the mirror and tell yourself you love you too. And
Speaker 1: I hear you. This may seem so. It might be
Speaker 1: hard for you to look into your eyes like that.
Speaker 1: It was hard for me at first, but I promise you,
Speaker 1: if you do this with me, even just once a week,
Speaker 1: like every Wednesday, after you listen to this podcast, go
Speaker 1: to the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself, you
Speaker 1: are going to see a noticeable positive change in your life.
Speaker 1: And you know what, I'm not going to stop asking
Speaker 1: you to do it, so you might as well. I'll
Speaker 1: be right here next week. I hope you will too,