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Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the

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Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour. I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,

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Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,

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Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,

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Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,

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Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modeesto, California, and

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Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.

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Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June, so go

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Speaker 1: get your tickets now. If you want to come see

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Speaker 1: me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.

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Speaker 2: Hi there, Catherine, How are you you?

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Speaker 3: Hi, Chelsea. I'm doing great. We have two episodes this week.

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Speaker 4: In case you missed it, We had an episode with

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Speaker 4: Elizabeth Olsen that came out yesterday, so be sure to

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Speaker 4: check that out.

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Speaker 1: So our guest today was named one of the one

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Speaker 1: hundred most Influential People in twenty twenty four. She's a

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Speaker 1: Best Supporting Actress Oscar winner, and her new movie, It's Hearnity,

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Speaker 1: is out now.

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Speaker 2: So please welcome day Vine Joy Randolph.

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Speaker 1: Oh yay, we're sitting down with Davine Joy Randolph.

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Speaker 2: Do you know that we have the same middle name?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I love that, Chelsea Joy Handless.

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Speaker 6: That's beautiful. We did a good job.

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Speaker 2: You're beautiful.

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Speaker 6: Thank you. Yeah, that's nice, Chelsea Joy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: First of all, Da Vine is joining us on her

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Speaker 1: wedding day. She's in a beautiful white wedding dress and

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Speaker 1: she's on her way to get married and had time

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Speaker 1: to squeeze in an episode of Dear Chelsea, thank.

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Speaker 6: You, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 7: Oh.

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Speaker 2: I so, I'm so excited to meet you.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I met you when you won

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Speaker 1: your Oscar a couple of years ago.

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Speaker 6: I feel like, do you feel like during that time we.

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Speaker 1: Were at a party at around an awards season because

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Speaker 1: I said something and you go Chelsea and like like

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Speaker 1: shut up, And I was like, how does this? You

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Speaker 1: like rolled your eyes but in a way in an

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Speaker 1: affectionate way where you understood me right away, and I

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Speaker 1: appreciated that. I want to before we talk about your

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Speaker 1: current movie that we're going to discuss, I want to

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Speaker 1: talk about that period of time in your life because

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Speaker 1: you had such a powerful acceptance speech.

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Speaker 2: When you won.

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Speaker 1: You won more than an Oscar, didn't you win a

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Speaker 1: couple of other awards as well?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Okay, so you said some really powerful things. And one

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Speaker 1: of the things that you said, do you ever go

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Speaker 1: back and watch Did you go back and watch that

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Speaker 1: speech ever?

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Speaker 2: Okay?

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Speaker 1: One of the things that you said was that you

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Speaker 1: spent so much time trying to be something that you weren't,

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Speaker 1: and only when you started or really became who you

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Speaker 1: are did you start to get rewarded for that.

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Speaker 7: Because I think in this industry or wherever right like

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Speaker 7: you want to figure out how you can make yourself

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Speaker 7: the most marketable or like, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 7: I think I was still in the process of the

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Speaker 7: becoming and figuring myself out. But I think where I'm

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Speaker 7: this stepped or where it took a longer process for

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Speaker 7: me to get to the thing, is that I was

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Speaker 7: trying to figure out my similarities in other establish things

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Speaker 7: that was successful and try to find those things within

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Speaker 7: myself and not realizing it's just.

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Speaker 6: That work on this, this is the thing. Do you

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Speaker 6: know what I mean?

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Speaker 7: Like, Oh, well, I guess I have this part of

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Speaker 7: this person that everyone loves and enjoys. Let me bring

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Speaker 7: that out or this aspect and then through that process.

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Speaker 7: And that's huge reason why I do like acting, because

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Speaker 7: you're at least for me. I always say, if I

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Speaker 7: wasn't an actor, I'd be like a behavior of psychologist,

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Speaker 7: because I'm very fascinating to the how and the why

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Speaker 7: that people move and tick and do the things they do.

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Speaker 7: And what I like about acting is that it requires

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Speaker 7: me to develop a skill set to not only examine

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Speaker 7: other people, but I hope we're also examining ourselves. So

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Speaker 7: in this process of this career, it took me some time,

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Speaker 7: but that I finally landed on, Oh no, no, no,

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Speaker 7: it's here, it's within you, and let those things shine

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Speaker 7: and the right people will align and attract to those things.

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Speaker 1: And when you have that feeling about yourself right when

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Speaker 1: it clicks in that you want to be who you

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Speaker 1: really are.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it crazy?

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Speaker 1: The way the universe starts drumming up all of like

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Speaker 1: the positivity in your life when you get on.

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Speaker 7: Your own team, there's an ease, there's a fluidity, there's

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Speaker 7: an abundance and things just yeah, it just clicks in

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Speaker 7: and you're like, gosh, why did.

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Speaker 6: I And it's like the sooner it's.

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Speaker 1: Like not resisting, No, you're because what you're talking about

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Speaker 1: and I as women, we all have done this resisting

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Speaker 1: who you really are instead of embracing who you really are.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, because I think in life, you know, like at

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Speaker 7: least for me, growing up, you see these things and

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Speaker 7: women that are older than you that you aspire to.

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Speaker 7: I remember it used to be like my aunt and

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Speaker 7: her jewelry and how it was just if it seems

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Speaker 7: so feminised to love the bracelets she used to have, Right,

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Speaker 7: so we lock these things of like, Okay, when I

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Speaker 7: grow up, I want that. When I grow up, I

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Speaker 7: want to do that. And I think I was collecting

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Speaker 7: all of these things, which I think is beautiful of

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Speaker 7: women in my life that I loved and in the

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Speaker 7: process overlooking who I was becoming as a woman, and

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Speaker 7: that I already had some of my own things well.

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Speaker 4: And I do think when you're developing your creative voice.

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Speaker 4: You're at first sort of seeing what you like and

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Speaker 4: copying those things.

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Speaker 3: But after a while, if you're successful at it, you

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Speaker 3: do get into your own voice. You find through what

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Speaker 3: you like, you find your own voice.

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Speaker 2: He yeah, and it's also nice, it's powerful.

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Speaker 1: We were just talking about essense, like the idea of

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Speaker 1: ascending as a woman, the idea of you are growing

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Speaker 1: into the woman that you're supposed to become.

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Speaker 2: And i'd like to think of that.

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Speaker 1: I had a friend at Glastonbury this year, of all places,

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Speaker 1: where we were discussing this, like we're ascending, Like it's not.

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Speaker 1: That's why I hate when people complain about their age.

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Speaker 1: It's like, I don't get into it. No, out of ages,

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Speaker 1: What do you mean with age?

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Speaker 2: I just live you lean into it.

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Speaker 6: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think women, especially now that we're all

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Speaker 1: kind of realizing how important it is to stick together

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Speaker 1: rather than to separate. That like you can help, Like

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Speaker 1: what you're saying about your aunt's jewelry, Like I can

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Speaker 1: totally relate to that as being a young child and

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Speaker 1: looking to things that you want as part of your identity,

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Speaker 1: you know, like when you grow up, and that is

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Speaker 1: that's like part of our ascension. That's when our ascension starts,

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Speaker 1: like when you're a little kid and you start to

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Speaker 1: envision who you're going to be, you know, and then

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Speaker 1: all of the things along the way that kind of

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Speaker 1: maybe bump you off track, and then getting back on

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Speaker 1: the right, what do you think, like in terms of adversity,

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Speaker 1: something that really shaped you in your younger years that

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Speaker 1: helped totally.

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Speaker 7: I didn't know what I wanted to be when I

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Speaker 7: grew up, and I was really grateful that my parents

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Speaker 7: they knew I had a gift in performance, but they

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Speaker 7: let me do any and all of it.

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Speaker 6: Like I was like the after school kid.

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Speaker 7: I did all the programs and stuff because I wasn't

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Speaker 7: quite sure where I wanted to land.

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Speaker 6: But I started off by way of singing.

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Speaker 7: And I think growing up as a black woman, you

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Speaker 7: there's certain things that you have to deal with, especially

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Speaker 7: when you want your gifts to be displayed in public,

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Speaker 7: like through performance that very quickly I understood, sometimes quicker

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Speaker 7: than other kids did, the differences and how to celebrate them,

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Speaker 7: own them, not shy away from it, and actually, like

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Speaker 7: we were saying, lean in, and so it required me

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Speaker 7: to have this kind of actually quiet but grounded confidence

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Speaker 7: and resilience at a very young age y'a like elementary

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Speaker 7: school because my mom my mom is an educator, and

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Speaker 7: so education was really important. I lived in the same

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Speaker 7: city all throughout well up unto high school. But nonetheless

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Speaker 7: I had an army brat kid mentality because I changed

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Speaker 7: school so much. Until a graduate school, I had never

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Speaker 7: stayed at a school for more than two years because

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Speaker 7: it was never good enough for my mom, or in

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Speaker 7: some weird ways, the school burned down or it stopped

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Speaker 7: at grade five or whatever. And so because education was important,

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Speaker 7: I went to predominantly white private schools, and so some

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Speaker 7: of these school would require me to do testing to

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Speaker 7: get in that they did not require other people to

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Speaker 7: do later we found out, and so that kind of

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Speaker 7: sense of like competition but also like celebrate.

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Speaker 6: My mom celebrated it.

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Speaker 7: I remember when I would do the testing, she would

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Speaker 7: like pull me out of school to go test for

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Speaker 7: this other school, and then she would like take me

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Speaker 7: out to a really nice lunch, and she kind of

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Speaker 7: like hid the fact. It wasn't until later that I

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Speaker 7: realized why am I testing to get into this school?

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Speaker 7: And sometimes it was like so you can get a

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Speaker 7: scholarship because to be honest, we couldn't afford to go

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Speaker 7: to these private schools. But I think it was early

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Speaker 7: realizing like, not everyone in the world wants you, you

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Speaker 7: know what I mean, and is as open and as inviting.

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Speaker 7: And I learned that early. And so what my parents

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Speaker 7: did that I'm really grateful for is they just kind

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Speaker 7: of they were like, look, this is the world and

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Speaker 7: it is what it is.

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Speaker 6: But we're not going to.

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Speaker 7: Be victims or completely change, you know what I mean,

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Speaker 7: or you bow your head in any way. You're gonna

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Speaker 7: be polite, you're gonna be a good person, you're gonna

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Speaker 7: treat people well, and you're also going to have a

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Speaker 7: confidence and annoying within yourself. And so that was early

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Speaker 7: and I'm grateful for that because now with this is

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Speaker 7: a career, like it's tough and you need that tough skin.

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Speaker 7: I think sometimes when people comment on those kind of

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Speaker 7: essences of what they see, I'm like, oh, well, I

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Speaker 7: had to do this young. It's just now transition into

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Speaker 7: a different platform, medium, whatever. Because you're you know, you're

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Speaker 7: out there on display and on your own.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you've yeah, well you've been through lots of

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Speaker 1: schooling also you went to Oxford.

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Speaker 2: You studied Oxford, you studied singing.

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Speaker 7: And Shakespeare because I had got into Yale, and I realized, oh,

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Speaker 7: I don't I don't know this at all because I

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Speaker 7: came into it. So I got into acting through being

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Speaker 7: rejected from singing. So I was a class I guess

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Speaker 7: I say it was, but I'm a classically trained opera singer.

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Speaker 7: And so we were doing Aida, which is a very

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Speaker 7: intense story.

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Speaker 2: Is that she related to Ivida.

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Speaker 7: No no, no, she was like a slave. Well, she

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Speaker 7: was first a princess in Egypt, and then it gets

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Speaker 7: enslaved by this really hot guy. So she ends up

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Speaker 7: falling in love with and they have this interracial relationship,

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Speaker 7: which totally was not the thing at that time. They

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Speaker 7: get buried alive as they're singing this beautiful song like

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Speaker 7: it's epic, right. So I was not different time, different time,

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Speaker 7: not that I was into acting at all, but I

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Speaker 7: was like, I think I need to do a little

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Speaker 7: more than just like sing, and they were not into that,

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Speaker 7: and so I worked with an acting coach on it,

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Speaker 7: just so I could, you know, do my job well.

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Speaker 7: And they did not like it, and they ended up

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Speaker 7: flunking me out, and I was like okay, and it

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Speaker 7: was my mom, right, So adversity that was my junior

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Speaker 7: year and it was my mom that was like you

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Speaker 7: go across that street to the theater department, probably because

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Speaker 7: most of the credits transferred, but she was like, I

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Speaker 7: actually think you can do this as well, which at

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Speaker 7: that time, as a jor in college, you're thinking about,

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Speaker 7: you know what I mean, like, Okay, I'm about to

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Speaker 7: be on my own. I'm now a singer, like fly

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Speaker 7: me to Milan, feed me pasta, and I'm about to

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Speaker 7: sing opera, you know what I mean? Like that was

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Speaker 7: so my entire world quickly changed, and so that was

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Speaker 7: definitely a moment of adversity. But like, yeah, so acting

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Speaker 7: came way later, got into Yale, but that was an

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Speaker 7: area where I was like I'm not equipped for because

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Speaker 7: I didn't have that formal training. And so yes, that's

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Speaker 7: why I went to Oxford to study Shakespeare.

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Speaker 2: Wow, how cool is that?

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Speaker 6: It was really cool?

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Speaker 7: Where they filmed the dining hall scenes for Harry Potter

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Speaker 7: was our like cafeteria.

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Speaker 1: So what do you think about all the Shakespeare lore that,

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Speaker 1: like Shakespeare did it really right? I know, what's your take?

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Speaker 1: On that because did you read that book? Did you

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Speaker 1: read Hamnet? Have you read that book? They haven't, but

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Speaker 1: I'm really excited. So that's a lot about that too,

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Speaker 1: about Shakespeare and I.

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Speaker 6: I mean, I don't know.

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Speaker 7: Maybe there's like super geniuses, but don't you feel the

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Speaker 7: same thing of like I don't have to be controversial,

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Speaker 7: but like da Vinci or Mcalangel, Like did you finally

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Speaker 7: do all of them? Like maybe you had a staff,

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Speaker 7: like a team of people like Tina writers that we

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Speaker 7: collectively but like, okay, I get it, he's the figurehead

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Speaker 7: of it all.

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Speaker 6: But I don't know. I mean, it's a lot of books.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot to do. It's a lot to do.

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Speaker 1: I know, I don't believe, like I when you hear

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Speaker 1: about erasure of art and history and all of that,

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Speaker 1: it's just women and we got no credit for doing it.

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Speaker 2: So I'm sure, definitely I believe all of it.

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Speaker 1: Now. At first, I'm like, that's such a big thing

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Speaker 1: to cover up. But then as you know, as you

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Speaker 1: learn more and more and you're like, oh, yeah, this

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Speaker 1: is all women, and then women wanted to give them

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Speaker 1: any fucking credit because.

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Speaker 4: Totally or even like two hundred years later they'll be like, yeah,

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Speaker 4: it was a man that did that, when it was

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Speaker 4: actually everyone already knew it was a woman that did that.

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Speaker 6: Whatever I want.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well wait, I want to circle back though to you,

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Speaker 1: so you're winning your Oscar for Best Supporting Actress for

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Speaker 1: The Leftovers, because I just want to revisit and ask

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Speaker 1: you what that time in your life now that it's

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Speaker 1: you've had time, Yeah, what does that time in your

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Speaker 1: life mean to you?

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Speaker 2: How did it feel? How do you look at it now?

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Speaker 7: Yeah, it was a lot. It was also because the

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Speaker 7: industry was at odds, meaning it was that award season

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Speaker 7: there was strikes, you know, I mean for writers, then

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Speaker 7: the actors. So timeline wise, now was when we so

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Speaker 7: the movie I'm promoting now and that movie are coming

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Speaker 7: out the same exact day. And so due to the strikes,

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Speaker 7: it wasn't until I think it was like November tenth

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Speaker 7: that we could even get involved. That was part of

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Speaker 7: the bylaws, like we could not promote or anything. And

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Speaker 7: so it was a very unique experience. And then once

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Speaker 7: the strike ended, it was just full steam ahead.

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Speaker 6: It's all a blur. I was like it was a marathon.

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Speaker 1: It was those campaigns season or word season. I mean,

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Speaker 1: it does turn into a campaign. It's like, let's be honest.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, that's I mean, let's be honest.

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Speaker 7: And I say camp like right, So different people could

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Speaker 7: do any different things when you say campaign, but at the.

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Speaker 6: Very least you got to show up.

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Speaker 7: You got to show up to a lot of different

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Speaker 7: places in front of a lot of different people. And

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Speaker 7: I just try to just come from it from an

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Speaker 7: authentic place of like I'm just gonna speak about what

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Speaker 7: I love and what I love to do and why

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Speaker 7: I love this character, because that was the only way

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Speaker 7: I was going to be able to get through it,

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Speaker 7: because it's eight months, it's a very long time. It's

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Speaker 7: you do that's honestly. I did not because we're like,

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Speaker 7: oh my god, you cried. I said no, no, no, I

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Speaker 7: bawled because it was a release quite as it kept.

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Speaker 6: It's done, we're done. We did it from November to March.

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Speaker 7: I'm yeah, yeah, you know what I mean, Like I

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Speaker 7: had the best sleep that next day because you just like,

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Speaker 7: I'm so grateful, but we did it, and it's done.

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Speaker 8: Well.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people win an Oscar and then they

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Speaker 1: end up leaving their partner did you do that?

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Speaker 6: No, is that a thing?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's best actress curse, right's.

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Speaker 2: The best actress or best support.

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Speaker 3: It's the best actress.

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Speaker 5: Okay?

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Speaker 6: Like how quick?

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Speaker 3: Like I mean within a.

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Speaker 4: Year and it happened to Hillary Swank, k Winslet like

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Speaker 4: a whole bunch of them.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm trying to think why. Maybe because you are

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Speaker 7: you're not around, you're not home.

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Speaker 3: You may but I just figured it was because their

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Speaker 3: husbands weren't carrying their weight.

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Speaker 7: You know.

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Speaker 2: That's like I got my oscar. Now, you can get

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Speaker 2: the fuck out of here.

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Speaker 7: You you know what it makes me think of? You

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Speaker 7: know how like if you get a surgery or something done.

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Speaker 7: I've experienced this. You get a surgery or something you

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Speaker 7: come to and you're like, you know what, let me

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Speaker 7: do some inventory, do you know what I mean? Like,

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Speaker 7: maybe it was that right of like by doing something

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Speaker 7: else to be.

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Speaker 6: Like, actually you're not ship, so my eyes are now

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Speaker 6: that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 7: To be really clear, I've always made a vow to

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Speaker 7: myself and maybe this is a very feminist thing to say.

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Speaker 7: I don't care if I'm in a relationship or not.

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Speaker 7: I don't ever want them on the red carpet with

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Speaker 7: me because it's not about you, respectfully, it's not slash

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Speaker 7: you know, as a woman, I don't want that to

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Speaker 7: then be the conversation.

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Speaker 6: It's all about what we're here for, my job and

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Speaker 6: what I did.

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Speaker 7: And I feel like women I don't think maybe some

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Speaker 7: men get this or within they're like, oh my god,

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Speaker 7: tell me about your partner. Do you want to have babies?

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Speaker 7: And it's like, let's do the job. And so for me,

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Speaker 7: I always made that a thing early that I was like,

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Speaker 7: I love that and that's like, you know, for me,

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Speaker 7: acting as the job. But all this stuff comes up

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Speaker 7: with it right and being in the public eye. But

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Speaker 7: that's something that I want to always keep for myself.

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Speaker 7: I don't ever want the industry to have that because

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Speaker 7: the reality is this, this is very hard to do.

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Speaker 7: You want to make sure that your support whatever that

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Speaker 7: looks like family, you know what I mean, your main partner,

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Speaker 7: that that's protected because you need that to be a

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Speaker 7: good saved space for you to you know what I mean,

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Speaker 7: have that sounding board with So.

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Speaker 2: Would you date an actor? Have you dated actors?

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Speaker 6: No? I've come close to dating them.

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Speaker 1: It's kind of hard to actors, are I know it's

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Speaker 1: an eck, but you know they treat it like it's

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Speaker 1: a sport.

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Speaker 6: Oh, I gotta go work out because I.

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Speaker 7: Got this role right playing somebody works at the grocery store,

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Speaker 7: Like why are you now hitting the iron so hard?

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Speaker 7: They like treat it like it's the Olympics and it's

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Speaker 7: very fratty. It could be very fratty energy. That's icky

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Speaker 7: to me. I haven't yet met the actor guy that's like,

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Speaker 7: you know what I mean, because he's an actor. He's

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Speaker 7: like emotionally intelligent and it's like a little soft with

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Speaker 7: the mask.

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Speaker 6: The ones that are interested in me are like bros.

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Speaker 6: And it just makes me want to vomit.

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Speaker 7: But like, I also think people frown on and like

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Speaker 7: miss the opportunity of like crew.

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Speaker 6: That's yummy. Everyone has had a moment.

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Speaker 2: Definitely when I'm suck with that guy right over there.

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Speaker 2: I definitely totally because they're not there because.

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Speaker 7: Yes, and and they dress like they're tatted, They've got

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Speaker 7: excellent facial hair, they wear hats really well, and they're ripped,

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Speaker 7: but like just enough rip that it's like it's because

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Speaker 7: I lift heavy things on that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's not the glamour muscles it's just like strength.

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Speaker 7: And I think it's something really refreshing of they're so

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Speaker 7: regular that you're like, yum, yeah, that's a good one.

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Speaker 6: I like you like.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I was looking at this guy the other day.

405
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Speaker 1: I was filming something like three days ago with Kevin Heart.

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Speaker 1: He's shooting this show and I came in to do

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Speaker 1: something on it and there was a crew guy and

408
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,439
Speaker 1: I was like, that guy is fucking hot. And I

409
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:13,240
Speaker 1: was miked and everyone heard me, including him, and that

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Speaker 1: was my intention. I was like, I just you know,

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Speaker 1: I think you should know.

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Speaker 6: And they love it. They love it too, absolutely. Yeah.

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Speaker 7: I don't know. I don't I don't think I could

414
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Speaker 7: do an actor. And the director thing is weird to

415
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:32,960
Speaker 7: me too. It feels like a dad thing. That freaks

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Speaker 7: me out a little bit, you know, because they think

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Speaker 7: like they're like over you in some way.

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Speaker 6: They're like a little bit smarter than you, so they're

419
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Speaker 6: running things. I don't do well with that. We're equals

420
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Speaker 6: cut out, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 7: Like, so I always think with the directors, it's like, eh,

422
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Speaker 7: it feels like a daddy thing. Like I'm dating this

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Speaker 7: older guy. He could be my same age, but just

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Speaker 7: how they carry them.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well women director probably wouldn't act like amazing,

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Speaker 1: No I've worked with female Have you worked with female

427
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Speaker 1: directors more?

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Speaker 6: Please? I mean, is it the way they get things done?

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Speaker 6: It's astonishing.

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Speaker 7: I literally just try to take notes and be like

431
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Speaker 7: pass it along to the next male director that I

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Speaker 7: work with, because you think they're reinventing everything is baffling.

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Speaker 1: It's amazing how efficacious women are when like I just

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Speaker 1: made it. I just posted something on my Instagram the

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Speaker 1: other day talking about how men are. It's just so disappointing,

436
00:21:22,800 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 1: like just the most and it's not all men. We

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00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 1: have nice men here. Your husband is a nice man. Sure,

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Speaker 1: I don't want everyone to think that I'm a man hater,

439
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 1: because everyone thinks that. But it really the comments that

440
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 1: came in on my video about why I'm not dating anyone,

441
00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:43,520
Speaker 1: the women were like and it's like every man just

442
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:46,080
Speaker 1: needs to read all those comments, like women are opting

443
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,760
Speaker 1: out of you know, not just actor men.

444
00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 2: We're talking about men as a whole, absolutely, absolutely, but.

445
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,560
Speaker 1: When you're talking about acting like you know, men who

446
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 1: take themselves too seriously, like that's gross, that's an eck.

447
00:21:58,720 --> 00:22:01,600
Speaker 1: But there are so many other problems along with that,

448
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:05,360
Speaker 1: you know, and anyone who doesn't understand should go read

449
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: those comments on my Instagram from all the women, because

450
00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:10,600
Speaker 1: women were saying stuff and like I snapshoted some of

451
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:12,679
Speaker 1: them and sent them to you, and I was just like,

452
00:22:12,720 --> 00:22:15,639
Speaker 1: oh my god, we are so unified and how we

453
00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:16,439
Speaker 1: are feeling?

454
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:17,040
Speaker 5: Yeah?

455
00:22:17,119 --> 00:22:20,399
Speaker 7: Yeah, absolutely, yeah, Like what is it called purple weddings?

456
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:24,080
Speaker 7: Rainbow weddings where you like marry your gay best friends.

457
00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,080
Speaker 7: I understand it's best friend I do. Yeah, We've talked

458
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:32,280
Speaker 7: about it several times. I'm like, do you want to

459
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:36,960
Speaker 7: be just We were like no, let's just be besties.

460
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,600
Speaker 7: But I can, I can process and understand why people

461
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:43,240
Speaker 7: would do it. Yeah, some people just want to feel safe.

462
00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:47,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, tax breaks and.

463
00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 7: Let's keep in mind people were doing this for decades

464
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 7: all the time. But now, you know, we love to

465
00:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 7: label things in this day and age, But what if.

466
00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 2: People have been doing for decades like being.

467
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, right for you and so happy and like,

468
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 7: then you know, have the agreement. To me, I'm like,

469
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,600
Speaker 7: it's no different from like an open relationship. You just

470
00:23:08,520 --> 00:23:09,160
Speaker 7: this is us.

471
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,800
Speaker 6: And then I go.

472
00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: With someone else and this is me walking away from

473
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,280
Speaker 1: us and at some point I love it.

474
00:23:18,440 --> 00:23:18,640
Speaker 9: Yeah.

475
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,639
Speaker 2: Okay, let's talk about your movie Eternity.

476
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 7: Yees.

477
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 1: Okay, So this is a great premise for a movie.

478
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: We like this because how can we talk about it

479
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:28,959
Speaker 1: without giving away the plot? We can talk about it, right,

480
00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 1: because I don't want to give anything away.

481
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:31,440
Speaker 2: Okay.

482
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:34,080
Speaker 1: So the choice is basically, if you had the choice,

483
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:38,800
Speaker 1: it's two men. If you had the choice to how

484
00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:39,400
Speaker 1: do I use.

485
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 4: Choose between She's choosing between her husband that she had

486
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,359
Speaker 4: for a couple of years, who she was very in

487
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 4: love with, and who's very hot.

488
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 3: It's a plot point. He's very hot.

489
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,879
Speaker 6: Yeah, please, for the sake of this press tour, please say.

490
00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:56,399
Speaker 4: That both of them are hot on every man, you know,

491
00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,680
Speaker 4: it's like one's crew is hotter.

492
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:03,680
Speaker 2: That's true.

493
00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:07,240
Speaker 4: But and then he dies, and she's choosing between him

494
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 4: and the husband that she was with for decades that

495
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 4: she felt to life with you. It's sort of like.

496
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 2: So she gets the option.

497
00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:17,200
Speaker 1: So you're you're suspending disbelief because this is afterlife. You're

498
00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,399
Speaker 1: you're you get the option to either meet your first

499
00:24:20,480 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 1: husband that died and get back together with him, and

500
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:26,800
Speaker 1: all the possibilities of whatever happened, or you get to

501
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,679
Speaker 1: stay with the husband that you have now, who you

502
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:29,120
Speaker 1: do have.

503
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:31,119
Speaker 2: Those memories with and you have created a life.

504
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's a valid question.

505
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:36,479
Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes you really think about all of your exes, like,

506
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 1: and if there's anyone you would ever feel like, I

507
00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 1: understand someone dying and being ripped out of your life,

508
00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 1: you would always question that, right, you would always as

509
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:48,879
Speaker 1: a woman, what if what if he was alive?

510
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:49,320
Speaker 2: What if what?

511
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:49,920
Speaker 6: What?

512
00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:51,679
Speaker 2: What would our life have been like?

513
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,159
Speaker 1: But it's harder to think about in the framework of

514
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:57,199
Speaker 1: a breakup because that's it's over, because it's broken.

515
00:24:57,400 --> 00:25:00,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, So are you the type that like when it's done,

516
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 7: like when they're your ex?

517
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 6: Are they your ex? Or do you can you like

518
00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:04,640
Speaker 6: still like chit chat?

519
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: And I don't typically talk to my exes until about

520
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:12,680
Speaker 1: ten years after our relationship ends, and that's usually when

521
00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,560
Speaker 1: they'll resurface and then it's nice, Yeah, because there's nothing

522
00:25:16,640 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 1: left there.

523
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:19,399
Speaker 2: Yeah, no one cares. I don't think.

524
00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:20,199
Speaker 6: People realize that.

525
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,320
Speaker 7: I don't want to make a generalization about women, but

526
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 7: when we are done, we're done, it's gone. And I

527
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,560
Speaker 7: don't think guys realize I don't think they really get that,

528
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,960
Speaker 7: and they're confused. Like I think they say scientifically to

529
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:38,760
Speaker 7: like women process. How women process a breakup and how

530
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:41,719
Speaker 7: a man does literally is in reverse order, which is

531
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 7: like makes sense. So what is it We go through

532
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 7: all the big feelings first, like we basically go through

533
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 7: it in a healthy way and in order, and we

534
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,399
Speaker 7: get to that point when then we're like at peace

535
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:54,840
Speaker 7: with it.

536
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:56,760
Speaker 6: They're in denial.

537
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,720
Speaker 7: They'll go out party, you know what I mean, smash

538
00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 7: other people, whatever, whatever, And right at the point when

539
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:08,400
Speaker 7: we are like I'm at peace, they're now processing it and.

540
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 2: That's when the.

541
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:14,119
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's so weird or like you know, there's that

542
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:15,719
Speaker 7: weird phenomena. Like I don't like to say that men

543
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,840
Speaker 7: are dumb, but I will say one thing that they

544
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:22,600
Speaker 7: do have that's fascinating. You realize, like when something's going

545
00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:25,160
Speaker 7: on in your life or like that next partner you had,

546
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 7: or that moment where you're like life is good, they

547
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:35,159
Speaker 7: call or text you out of it's spooky and you're like, what,

548
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 7: like kinetic thing made?

549
00:26:38,280 --> 00:26:40,160
Speaker 6: It happens every and it's a different person.

550
00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:42,879
Speaker 7: It's not like oh that one guy that he's just no,

551
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:48,760
Speaker 7: they'll just send the text and you're like, jump, scare them, Yeah,

552
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,879
Speaker 7: stay strong, Yeah, to block them.

553
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,360
Speaker 6: I'm strong in a block. I'm strong in a block.

554
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 6: Don't play with me.

555
00:26:55,280 --> 00:26:59,080
Speaker 1: I'm stronger than a block. Yeah, I don't need a block. Yeah,

556
00:26:59,119 --> 00:27:01,240
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not gonna call you, so it doesn't matter,

557
00:27:01,280 --> 00:27:02,280
Speaker 1: you know, I don't need a block.

558
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 5: Like.

559
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 2: I trust myself now. I do now.

560
00:27:05,119 --> 00:27:06,959
Speaker 1: When I was young and a drucker, like i'd get

561
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 1: drunk and call it, you know, booty coffee.

562
00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,000
Speaker 2: But that was all so humiliating.

563
00:27:10,320 --> 00:27:12,160
Speaker 1: But I'm so glad that that's not even an option,

564
00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:14,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean anymore. I don't have to

565
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,359
Speaker 1: be worried about how I'm gonna act if I have

566
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 1: a couple drunks.

567
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 7: I know.

568
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's when we're done.

569
00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 7: We're done because in my mind it's like, at least me,

570
00:27:23,359 --> 00:27:27,159
Speaker 7: I've flushed out every possible option, and I've tried my

571
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 7: hardest to make this work. What are we now doing

572
00:27:31,400 --> 00:27:33,359
Speaker 7: it now? It's like, so then, what was all of

573
00:27:33,359 --> 00:27:35,520
Speaker 7: that for? Do you know what I mean? To think

574
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 7: we could just be casual again?

575
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:39,600
Speaker 2: No? How what's your longest relationship?

576
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:45,160
Speaker 6: My longest one now, I think is five years Wow,

577
00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:47,520
Speaker 6: that's a long time, I know, especially for an actor.

578
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,560
Speaker 7: Right, Yeah, so that's long before it was like two

579
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 7: years was my mark.

580
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was like, okay, I can't even make it

581
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 2: past ten months.

582
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,159
Speaker 1: That's usually my mark. A ten months is usually when

583
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:58,679
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, that's good bye.

584
00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:00,920
Speaker 6: And is it that they end up doing something the

585
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:02,359
Speaker 6: X if.

586
00:28:02,240 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 1: Once I there's a there's a couple of X and

587
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 1: then when I hit like three X, I I can't.

588
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,280
Speaker 2: I can't look at you. I'm disgusting.

589
00:28:10,359 --> 00:28:13,000
Speaker 7: It's probably healthier actually, because you're getting you're going through

590
00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,560
Speaker 7: the process quicker to staying too long.

591
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 8: Yeah.

592
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:18,840
Speaker 2: And also it's not a revulsion.

593
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: I don't want to sound so harsh, but it's there's

594
00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:27,159
Speaker 1: just nothing, there's no negotiation and yet and it's so

595
00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: final when it's final, like it's almost like you can

596
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 1: when you're taking Like some people say I'm easy, easy

597
00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:34,840
Speaker 1: to take advantage of, Like the people who work for

598
00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:36,440
Speaker 1: me would say that about me, that I'm because I'm

599
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 1: always like sure, take it like that person's not out to,

600
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,160
Speaker 1: you know, for anything bad. And people are like, you're

601
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: so nive for somebody who comes across as very you know,

602
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:47,720
Speaker 1: in control of my own world. But you can push me,

603
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,240
Speaker 1: but then there's a stop. So that's what I've learned

604
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:52,800
Speaker 1: about myself. It's the same with men, you know what

605
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:54,640
Speaker 1: I mean. You can push me a little, but don't

606
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: push me too hard.

607
00:28:55,520 --> 00:28:56,840
Speaker 6: Yeah, and you clock it all the way.

608
00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know.

609
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: I think as women, you don't, you know, we realize.

610
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:03,160
Speaker 1: I think as we get older. You're thirty nine. You're

611
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:05,440
Speaker 1: okay with me saying that, really? Yeah, yeah, you should

612
00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:05,920
Speaker 1: be right.

613
00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:07,000
Speaker 2: You're thirty nine.

614
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: We were just talking about aging and how you know,

615
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,400
Speaker 1: coming into you know, now I trust my guts so

616
00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,960
Speaker 1: much more than I used to. I don't question things.

617
00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 1: I know what I might think about it. You know,

618
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: if I'm on the fence about something, really think about

619
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:19,840
Speaker 1: what does your judgment tell you?

620
00:29:20,200 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: Because this is what got you this far.

621
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 7: So it's one of my favorite things of being a woman,

622
00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 7: the universe giving us the gift of women's intuition.

623
00:29:28,400 --> 00:29:30,200
Speaker 6: Oh God, I love it so much.

624
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:32,440
Speaker 2: And some women don't know to listen to that intuition.

625
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 6: And that breaks my heart.

626
00:29:33,160 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 2: Blocket. We're going to deal with that today with our callers.

627
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 1: By the way, We're gonna take callers and we're going

628
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,360
Speaker 1: to give advice, and it's gonna be a lot about

629
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,480
Speaker 1: women's intuition because because you do, like, what would you

630
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:46,720
Speaker 1: say to anyone listening about knowing what how to listen

631
00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:47,560
Speaker 1: to your intuition?

632
00:29:48,120 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 7: I don't know, because to me, it's just a loud voice,

633
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,000
Speaker 7: and I guess I never thought that in some people

634
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,000
Speaker 7: that voice would be quieter, right, you know what I mean?

635
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:00,040
Speaker 6: To me, it's just so it's what I don't no.

636
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:04,400
Speaker 7: Maybe it's in layman's terms that jimminy cricket, right, that

637
00:30:04,520 --> 00:30:08,280
Speaker 7: thing that's like ah or yup, go for it whatever. Right,

638
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:10,960
Speaker 7: It's not always negative too, and I think people don't

639
00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 7: realize that. It's sometimes it's just that little Yeah, it's

640
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,360
Speaker 7: that little you that's the truth, the truest of you.

641
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:22,920
Speaker 7: And it's sometimes it's telling you a piece of it,

642
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 7: like right, it's not sometimes telling you this is the

643
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 7: game plan of exactly how to do everything would be

644
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,360
Speaker 7: completely different people that was the case. But it's it's

645
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:35,959
Speaker 7: a nugget, a significant nugget that sometimes right initiates that

646
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,360
Speaker 7: trigger or that red flag right of like just clock

647
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 7: that watch that be observing of that. It can be

648
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 7: just that one is women's intuition, and then sometimes it

649
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 7: could be a little more witchy, if you will, And

650
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 7: it's like, right, if something happens, you're like, hey, uh,

651
00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 7: I know you said you're gonna go on that date

652
00:30:57,960 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 7: with that guy.

653
00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:01,040
Speaker 6: I don't know, girl, you know what I mean?

654
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:05,479
Speaker 7: And then they go, something happens and you're like, I

655
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:06,560
Speaker 7: relay the information.

656
00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,640
Speaker 6: Uh huh. I don't know what to tell you.

657
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,200
Speaker 3: But I do think it's something. It sounds like.

658
00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:14,000
Speaker 4: You are someone who's been in communication with that still

659
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: small voice for a long time. I do think that

660
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 4: if a woman is just starting to learn to listen

661
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:22,760
Speaker 4: to it, especially after having made some mistakes, like the

662
00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,400
Speaker 4: more you listen, the stronger it becomes, and the more

663
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,120
Speaker 4: you follow it, the more in touch with it you

664
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 4: can become.

665
00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,040
Speaker 1: I think for people who don't have that gut, you know,

666
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: when people like that, it is a matter of actually

667
00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:38,520
Speaker 1: sitting with yourself and like literally getting into meditation and

668
00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:41,920
Speaker 1: literally just trying to understand who you are when it's

669
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: quiet and like sitting with your body.

670
00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 7: Now that's a key point, right, So then I think

671
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:50,800
Speaker 7: essentially that might be that people are running, running from

672
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 7: themselves and making themselves busy enough distractions, that's right, right,

673
00:31:55,880 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 7: so they don't have that time to sit with themselves.

674
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:03,440
Speaker 1: On that note, we're going to take a break and

675
00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: we'll be right back. And we're back.

676
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:09,840
Speaker 2: We're back.

677
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:12,200
Speaker 6: I didn't even grab from.

678
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,800
Speaker 2: She's like, what, we're back.

679
00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 1: We're back to Davine Joy Randolph if not to be

680
00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: confused with Chelsea Joy Hammler.

681
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,000
Speaker 2: There's a lot of do you feel I take it.

682
00:32:24,080 --> 00:32:25,120
Speaker 2: I take my.

683
00:32:25,080 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 1: Middle name very seriously as a provider of joy.

684
00:32:28,120 --> 00:32:29,640
Speaker 2: Do you feel that way about the name Joy?

685
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 6: Yeah?

686
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 2: Good, I love that.

687
00:32:31,080 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 6: Yeah.

688
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 7: Is it actually your middle name, because some people that

689
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:37,000
Speaker 7: have Joy have a two name first name.

690
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,480
Speaker 2: No, it's my middle name Joy.

691
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, but it sounds so beautiful together.

692
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:43,360
Speaker 2: Thank you.

693
00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:45,600
Speaker 1: I didn't really appreciate my middle name until I go

694
00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: way with Chelsea.

695
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:48,320
Speaker 6: It is really nice.

696
00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're right about that.

697
00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:51,480
Speaker 1: I'm going to just change my name to Chelsea Joy

698
00:32:51,520 --> 00:32:52,640
Speaker 1: after I marry myself.

699
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 2: I don't hate that.

700
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 3: That's got.

701
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,040
Speaker 4: Well, here's a woman who is beginning to learn to

702
00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 4: listen to her intuition.

703
00:33:02,040 --> 00:33:03,440
Speaker 3: Kay says dear Chelsea.

704
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 4: I want to start by saying thank you for giving

705
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:08,760
Speaker 4: me the confidence to find my voice Your podcast has

706
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:10,680
Speaker 4: been the nudge I didn't know I needed to start

707
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,160
Speaker 4: reclaiming my life and made me realize I'm not crazy

708
00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:16,640
Speaker 4: for wanting more. At twenty two, I fell in love

709
00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 4: with a man thirty years older who promised me the

710
00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:21,560
Speaker 4: world I had dropped out of college. I moved to

711
00:33:21,600 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 4: California and built my life around him. Now, at thirty one,

712
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,000
Speaker 4: I've realized this is not my person, and at his

713
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 4: ripe age of sixty one, he's not changing into the

714
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 4: man I need or want. Looking back, I can see

715
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 4: how much the age gap shaped our relationship. The power

716
00:33:36,640 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 4: dynamic was never balanced. He always had more control financially, emotionally,

717
00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 4: even in how I saw myself, and it's taken me

718
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,880
Speaker 4: years to recognize that. Over the past few years, I've

719
00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 4: started quietly rebuilding myself. I got my mental health in order,

720
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 4: I started taking happy pills and just landed a full

721
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:56,120
Speaker 4: time accounting job that I love. I finally feel ready

722
00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:58,560
Speaker 4: to leave, but our lease isn't up till May, and

723
00:33:58,600 --> 00:34:00,440
Speaker 4: I want to hold out until then so can save

724
00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:03,320
Speaker 4: enough to move out move out on solid footing. The

725
00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 4: hard part is surviving the in between. He spends part

726
00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:08,319
Speaker 4: of his time away for work, but when he's here

727
00:34:08,400 --> 00:34:11,400
Speaker 4: it's emotionally draining. I have to mentally remind myself to

728
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 4: respond when he talks. Our sex life is non existent,

729
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 4: and after a long day at work, he's the last

730
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:21,800
Speaker 4: person I want to see.

731
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:22,880
Speaker 3: It feels like I'm.

732
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 4: Living with the ghost of a relationship that in my

733
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:28,719
Speaker 4: head I've already left. I guess my question is how

734
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:31,080
Speaker 4: do I protect my peace and stay sane until I

735
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 4: can leave. I feel like I'm just trying to play

736
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:36,160
Speaker 4: nice to make it to May, which at this point

737
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 4: is like seven months away. You've helped me believe that

738
00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 4: I can start over and actually be excited about it.

739
00:34:41,640 --> 00:34:43,719
Speaker 4: Ps Is it bad to keep the engagement ring and

740
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 4: sell it?

741
00:34:44,280 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 2: Okay?

742
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:47,560
Speaker 6: Wow, there's so much.

743
00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 2: That's a lot going on, A favorite favorite life.

744
00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,279
Speaker 6: I'm gonna ask you girl, nor get oh yeah all

745
00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 6: the time.

746
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 2: That is one of my favorite lines from a letter. Ever.

747
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,479
Speaker 1: I have to remind myself to when he talks, she's gone,

748
00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:03,760
Speaker 1: Welcome to the world.

749
00:35:04,040 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 6: Remember when you're done.

750
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 2: You're done, but not seven months staying there.

751
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,920
Speaker 1: No, she got it. She has to get out of there.

752
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:13,600
Speaker 1: Why did she say? Is it a financial She gets well,

753
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,440
Speaker 1: but she's got a new job. She wants to save

754
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,320
Speaker 1: up a little bit.

755
00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 7: I would say, get out, where's the Yeah, if she

756
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 7: has somebody like parents or could she still yeah, kind

757
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 7: of roommate, stay with.

758
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,720
Speaker 1: A friend, or find some cheap airbnb, whatever you could afford.

759
00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:33,560
Speaker 1: But I honestly, the energy suck that you're talking about

760
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:37,240
Speaker 1: is going to have that's seven months. That's not seven weeks.

761
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,800
Speaker 1: That's going to have a negative impact on your.

762
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:45,000
Speaker 7: And they're already there. So I always say, don't let

763
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:47,480
Speaker 7: money control you. If money is the thing, you'll figure

764
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,960
Speaker 7: it out. And if anything, maybe it needs to be

765
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,399
Speaker 7: a little tough, humbling in those seven months, because that's

766
00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 7: part of the rebuilding. Sometimes when you have rock hit,

767
00:35:57,320 --> 00:35:59,400
Speaker 7: rock bottom is where you get the most work done.

768
00:35:59,560 --> 00:36:02,320
Speaker 7: But sometimes we can't always be in cushy, comfortable I

769
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 7: mean it doesn't sound all that comfortable, but do.

770
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:05,359
Speaker 6: You know what I mean?

771
00:36:05,440 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 7: Like, Yeah, it's nice that you're in whatever this house

772
00:36:08,680 --> 00:36:11,879
Speaker 7: or places, but like what that house and home represents

773
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 7: is not what you want.

774
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,839
Speaker 6: Go somewhere else and begin rebuilding.

775
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:18,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, because your mental health is more important than I'm.

776
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,840
Speaker 4: She's working on it, but it sounds like she is

777
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 4: actually at the point where she's ready. Like if she

778
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 4: was like I'm just starting to think about leaving, that'd

779
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 4: be a different story.

780
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,759
Speaker 3: But she's mentally gone, like she's checked out.

781
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 7: Yeah, I personally just wouldn't let waiting for the least

782
00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:36,200
Speaker 7: to end to be the thing because also, you could

783
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,080
Speaker 7: be on a payment plan and say, hey, take me

784
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,399
Speaker 7: off the lease, I'll pay the rest of the least

785
00:36:40,520 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 7: my half of whatever.

786
00:36:41,719 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 6: I don't know, but don't.

787
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,640
Speaker 7: I would never let money be a reason to keep

788
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 7: me in a bad situation, especially.

789
00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 2: When the future is so bright like everything.

790
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 3: Thirty one?

791
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, good for you for making a decision.

792
00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:59,359
Speaker 7: Also, yeah, I also have to say she is actually

793
00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 7: quite mature for being thirty one, and she shouldn't a

794
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 7: sixty year old exactly, And she shouldn't beat herself up

795
00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:09,600
Speaker 7: because she met him at a young age and she's

796
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 7: grown up in that process.

797
00:37:11,719 --> 00:37:13,919
Speaker 6: So I wouldn't beat herself up. But now she's known,

798
00:37:15,160 --> 00:37:15,920
Speaker 6: well she knows.

799
00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:20,319
Speaker 3: Yeah, yep, So keep listening, keep listening to her.

800
00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 7: Hold on that last line a solution for her? Can

801
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 7: I curse ye? Sell the fucking engagement ring and get

802
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,400
Speaker 7: that to get out one.

803
00:37:30,520 --> 00:37:32,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, sell the engagement ring.

804
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:37,640
Speaker 6: The engagement ring shouldn't get a down payment on the part.

805
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, excellent, we just solved it.

806
00:37:40,800 --> 00:37:41,239
Speaker 6: Get out.

807
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 2: Problem solved. Look, problem solved.

808
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:43,440
Speaker 3: Problem.

809
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,440
Speaker 2: What's that We're on a roll already.

810
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,400
Speaker 3: All right, here we go. So Sharyah is going to

811
00:37:52,440 --> 00:37:53,160
Speaker 3: be joining us here.

812
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,839
Speaker 6: We can actually put on our Can they see us? Yeah?

813
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:58,319
Speaker 6: Because I have a very expressive face.

814
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: Okay, great question.

815
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 4: All right, so Shariah says, Hi, Chelsea. I'm twenty seven now,

816
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:09,840
Speaker 4: but when I was twenty three, I got divorced.

817
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 3: Thank god, I got over that.

818
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,400
Speaker 4: While I was young, I found that I was solely

819
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:17,279
Speaker 4: relying on my then husband to provide financially. I was

820
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 4: working a shitty job and had some college experience but

821
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 4: no degree. After we split, I felt like I woke

822
00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,080
Speaker 4: up and thought, what the fuck am I doing? This

823
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:26,239
Speaker 4: is like the after of the question we've just read.

824
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,480
Speaker 4: I promise myself to never be reliant on a man

825
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,799
Speaker 4: ever again. I worked extremely hard to be where I

826
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 4: am now by completing my bachelor's degree and got a

827
00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:37,840
Speaker 4: job to help me get situated again. However, I am

828
00:38:37,880 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 4: now a legal assistant, which I find to be a

829
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:43,399
Speaker 4: sole sucking job. I really only got a degree because

830
00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,360
Speaker 4: most relatively good paying jobs require a degree in anything.

831
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 4: As I'm sitting at my work desk now, I'm typing

832
00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 4: this and thinking about how I can incorporate my love

833
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:54,279
Speaker 4: of being active and outdoors into my career. But it

834
00:38:54,360 --> 00:38:57,120
Speaker 4: seems almost impossible, and I don't even know where to begin.

835
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 4: Or if a job like this exists, do I continue

836
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,360
Speaker 4: being miserable at my jobs and then go hard on

837
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,520
Speaker 4: my time off or somehow incorporate my passion for being

838
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,360
Speaker 4: outside and not stuck in a corporate office into a career.

839
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: Thank you, Shariah, definitely, Hi Shariah. Hi, Hey, thanks for

840
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:20,160
Speaker 1: your letter. This is our special guest today, davevine Joy. Okay, so, yeah,

841
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,360
Speaker 1: you got to get out of that job. That's not

842
00:39:22,400 --> 00:39:25,520
Speaker 1: gonna that's not gonna fulfill you. You you, I don't

843
00:39:25,560 --> 00:39:27,880
Speaker 1: know what you're gonna do, but you're gonna figure it out.

844
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:32,080
Speaker 2: Right. We're not doing that anymore.

845
00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:34,200
Speaker 7: Yeah, And in this and then this day and age,

846
00:39:34,280 --> 00:39:36,759
Speaker 7: like with social media and stuff like that, like just

847
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 7: start doing it and it may be like, Look, if

848
00:39:39,440 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 7: that ends up being your hustle job and that's how

849
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 7: you make your money, make sure you do just enough

850
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:46,359
Speaker 7: hours to pay the bills, so like, right on the

851
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,319
Speaker 7: realistic side of things, you're taking care of that, but

852
00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,520
Speaker 7: invest your creativity and the thing that you love.

853
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know.

854
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 5: My question is too, you know, in a world where

855
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,560
Speaker 5: you can do just about anything or like, you know,

856
00:39:59,560 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 5: how do you even start to find out what you

857
00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:05,680
Speaker 5: want to do or what you want to make your career?

858
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:09,680
Speaker 3: Well, let me ask you this, are you currently located

859
00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:10,480
Speaker 3: in the.

860
00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:14,359
Speaker 4: Type of geography that's the type of outdoors you like?

861
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,760
Speaker 6: Like, oh, that's a good point.

862
00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,040
Speaker 4: You know, area doesn't person.

863
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, I guess I'm happy where I'm at. But that's

864
00:40:21,239 --> 00:40:23,439
Speaker 5: another thing too, is like I don't have I don't

865
00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 5: have kids, I'm not married, I don't have anything holding

866
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,640
Speaker 5: me anywhere. So it's like beautiful, kind of overwhelming that

867
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 5: I have all these things that I can do. So

868
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:32,640
Speaker 5: it's just like where do I even start.

869
00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,680
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, google outdoor jobs.

870
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 1: And then start making a list of things that seem

871
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 1: fucking appealing. Let's start at the very beginning, like, go

872
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:44,520
Speaker 1: on anthropic, that's the new one. I'm using Anthropic instead

873
00:40:44,520 --> 00:40:47,880
Speaker 1: of chat ept to delete chat ept because those.

874
00:40:47,719 --> 00:40:51,600
Speaker 2: Guys are monsters. Okay, Anthropic actually wants to regulate they

875
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,280
Speaker 2: care about they care about AI.

876
00:40:53,440 --> 00:40:56,360
Speaker 1: They're actually responsible one of these tech companies that is

877
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 1: using really responsible and it's not as quick as chat Gypt,

878
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: but it's improving all the time and it's and it's

879
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,640
Speaker 1: going to get there. So first of all, go on

880
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,280
Speaker 1: download Anthropic, go on there and ask them outdoor jobs,

881
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 1: use use AI to figure out how to curate the

882
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:14,239
Speaker 1: skill sets you have and you're the experience that you've

883
00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 1: had in the business world.

884
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 2: What kind of degree do you have, like a business

885
00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:17,400
Speaker 2: degree or.

886
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 5: A business degree in general?

887
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:23,840
Speaker 1: Girl, that's good, Yes, I listen, we are This is

888
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 1: all great news. If you're married, you have no children,

889
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:29,959
Speaker 1: you're young, and you know you're unhappy in your job,

890
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,040
Speaker 1: we're gonna you're gonna change all that. You have your

891
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:33,839
Speaker 1: full life ahead if it's a good thing. So this

892
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,280
Speaker 1: is a very exciting time.

893
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 6: Yeah.

894
00:41:36,400 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think Davine was right, like start with you've

895
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,320
Speaker 4: got your job, and start going hard on the weekends

896
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:43,439
Speaker 4: and ahead.

897
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,640
Speaker 7: So if you could do it remote right, because I

898
00:41:45,680 --> 00:41:49,160
Speaker 7: feel like since the pandemic there's still a lot of

899
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,840
Speaker 7: remote jobs so that you can still keep that going.

900
00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,319
Speaker 7: And like you were saying, be in a location or

901
00:41:55,320 --> 00:41:59,120
Speaker 7: at least balance your time that so that you check

902
00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:00,959
Speaker 7: in the hours and do you gotta do for that one,

903
00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 7: but that you have more free time and the ability

904
00:42:04,239 --> 00:42:07,799
Speaker 7: to travel wherever you need to go to tap into that.

905
00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,960
Speaker 7: And I think it's going to be about developing communities too, right,

906
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:13,879
Speaker 7: So being around other people like minded that you're going.

907
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,240
Speaker 6: To start to figure out where your niches.

908
00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and if you're finding that, like just spending going

909
00:42:20,560 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 4: hard on the weekends isn't enough, Like my brother and

910
00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:26,879
Speaker 4: his wife, they sort of did that. They got jobs

911
00:42:26,920 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 4: where they could work about four days a week and

912
00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,440
Speaker 4: then they would go They live in the Pacific Northwest,

913
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:32,480
Speaker 4: so they just like go camping every single weekend and

914
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,719
Speaker 4: see waterfalls and beaches and whatever else. But then that

915
00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,680
Speaker 4: wasn't enough for his wife, and she just went and

916
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:41,160
Speaker 4: spent a few years extra in school and now she's

917
00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:44,439
Speaker 4: an arborist and that's her new job. And she took

918
00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 4: a treat climbing class that was part of her coursework. Like,

919
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 4: there are these jobs out there, but as you start exploring,

920
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 4: you're gonna find out more about them as you want to.

921
00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:54,080
Speaker 1: And your business degree is going to come in hand

922
00:42:54,120 --> 00:42:56,319
Speaker 1: because maybe you're going to start your own business. You know,

923
00:42:57,080 --> 00:42:59,560
Speaker 1: what are you what are you into outdoors wise? Like

924
00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,520
Speaker 1: what are your passions?

925
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,759
Speaker 5: I mean like I like to hike, I like to

926
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:07,719
Speaker 5: trail run and camp all those things. I like to ski,

927
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:09,759
Speaker 5: and like if I could be a ski bomb for

928
00:43:09,840 --> 00:43:10,520
Speaker 5: the rest of my.

929
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,720
Speaker 3: Life, I would love to, but have jobs.

930
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,760
Speaker 5: But also you know, I would eventually like to maybe

931
00:43:16,800 --> 00:43:18,400
Speaker 5: buy a house or so.

932
00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 6: Then this is the business part of it all.

933
00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 7: So you either need to have a company where you're

934
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 7: doing hiking tours or you're aligning.

935
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,080
Speaker 6: What you could do is let's put some luxury on this.

936
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 7: Reach out to like top five star hotels when you

937
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 7: said with skiing, like hit up the Aspen Network stuff

938
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 7: like that where you can have your own kind of service,

939
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:43,080
Speaker 7: whether you're giving tour guys or ski tours or whatever.

940
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 7: But as the business where you get to on their

941
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 7: dime experience the things you love, have something where you're

942
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:52,160
Speaker 7: teaching them and then you're staying at these amazing do

943
00:43:52,200 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 7: you know what I mean hotels and locations. I think

944
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,440
Speaker 7: right now is this day and age of what are

945
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,600
Speaker 7: you an expert in expert?

946
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:01,440
Speaker 6: It's just passion? What are you passionate?

947
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:04,399
Speaker 7: And you can literally sell it as a commodity now

948
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 7: and you can do it in amazing and beautiful places.

949
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:15,320
Speaker 2: It's like an outdoor adventure guide. Like start with that classing.

950
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:16,799
Speaker 1: And just and then you're gonna like put that down,

951
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:18,959
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Put that into something, type

952
00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:20,120
Speaker 1: that into something and see.

953
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:21,799
Speaker 2: What comes up where all the options are.

954
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:25,920
Speaker 1: Like maybe it's a VIP service you offer people, you know,

955
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,720
Speaker 1: like when I go on vacation in places, I always

956
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 1: have like a concierge service, right, and then they'll set

957
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: up my activities, you know, they set up like and

958
00:44:34,239 --> 00:44:36,359
Speaker 1: this is all related to business, you know what I mean,

959
00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:39,279
Speaker 1: Like you can make anything into a business now, but

960
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 1: like something like that where you're basically planning people's activities

961
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: and whether that's outdoor stuff only or whether it's like

962
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:48,920
Speaker 1: vacation stuff or you focus on on skiing.

963
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,800
Speaker 2: Like do you live in a mountaintown yet.

964
00:44:51,040 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 5: I have before I lived in Salt Lake City, but

965
00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 5: I live in Spokane.

966
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 6: Now that's super outdoors Washington.

967
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:02,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's I mean everybody in Seattle in

968
00:45:02,480 --> 00:45:06,759
Speaker 1: that area loves outdoor stuff, so you're you're in a

969
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,200
Speaker 1: good place to do that. So you just need to

970
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: start networking a get a sense of like ideas and

971
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 1: just you don't have to figure this out you know

972
00:45:15,480 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 1: today obviously, but you're gonna start thinking about it. And

973
00:45:18,760 --> 00:45:20,840
Speaker 1: when you start thinking about it and putting your energy

974
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 1: towards that, more things are gonna come your way, and

975
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 1: you're gonna meet more people, and who knows, maybe you're

976
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 1: gonna meet someone and you're gonna start a business with

977
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:27,600
Speaker 1: another person.

978
00:45:28,080 --> 00:45:28,319
Speaker 8: You know.

979
00:45:28,400 --> 00:45:30,880
Speaker 1: But I would get very active in like all of

980
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,719
Speaker 1: the stuff that you like to do, get active in

981
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:34,080
Speaker 1: the groups around that.

982
00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:34,400
Speaker 6: Do that.

983
00:45:34,560 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 2: You can start a hiking group.

984
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:39,440
Speaker 1: You can start a hiking community for women you know

985
00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:41,480
Speaker 1: between this age and this age, who are looking for

986
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 1: community or for women only or whatever you're.

987
00:45:43,880 --> 00:45:45,200
Speaker 2: Interested in, you know what I mean.

988
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,000
Speaker 1: You can start that with like three or four girls

989
00:45:48,040 --> 00:45:50,719
Speaker 1: of your friends and then expand it and then you know,

990
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:53,600
Speaker 1: kind of think about which different directions you can take

991
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: from there. But but you're at the perfect time in

992
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:58,879
Speaker 1: your life, so take it seriously, and don't you.

993
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 2: Cannot be in a job that's unlfilling.

994
00:46:00,800 --> 00:46:03,200
Speaker 4: Okay, And you I think, just to kind of keep

995
00:46:03,239 --> 00:46:05,200
Speaker 4: this energy going. I'm sure you have a book you

996
00:46:05,200 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 4: can recommend as well, but go get yourself. A copy

997
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:11,160
Speaker 4: of You Are a Badass by Jensen Cero read. I'm

998
00:46:11,200 --> 00:46:13,920
Speaker 4: talking like a couple pages a day, and this is

999
00:46:13,920 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 4: going to help keep your energy up, keep you thinking

1000
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 4: of good ideas, and really like shift your energy because

1001
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,680
Speaker 4: it's I still feel like there's a little well I'm drumminess,

1002
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:24,520
Speaker 4: you know, and this.

1003
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,800
Speaker 1: Is I mean, she's just called. I mean, yeah, she's

1004
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:28,920
Speaker 1: gonna still have them.

1005
00:46:32,840 --> 00:46:34,960
Speaker 5: I mean, I still do have to go back to work.

1006
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,520
Speaker 1: You can have to do that for a little bit,

1007
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: but you can't. But yeah, and it's going to be

1008
00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:43,320
Speaker 1: infused with this energy now because now you're going to

1009
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 1: be thinking about how you're going to make your way.

1010
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 1: Is the remote option of possibility for your job to

1011
00:46:48,040 --> 00:46:48,800
Speaker 1: work remotely?

1012
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:52,319
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah, and if I kind of just started so

1013
00:46:52,400 --> 00:46:54,640
Speaker 5: in a few in a few weeks.

1014
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:58,239
Speaker 6: Months, oh yeah, lean into the Yeah. Yeah.

1015
00:46:58,360 --> 00:47:01,040
Speaker 1: Okay, Well it's great you have the conversation and it's

1016
00:47:01,040 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 1: going to ignite more conversations.

1017
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:03,240
Speaker 5: Yeah.

1018
00:47:03,360 --> 00:47:05,920
Speaker 1: So, and she us posted will you let us know

1019
00:47:06,320 --> 00:47:08,080
Speaker 1: when you make your move and what you do.

1020
00:47:08,840 --> 00:47:11,959
Speaker 5: Absolutely, okay, thank you, bye bye.

1021
00:47:12,640 --> 00:47:14,120
Speaker 2: Be an outdoor hiking guide.

1022
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I think luxury VIP those are yeah, well.

1023
00:47:17,760 --> 00:47:20,760
Speaker 7: That's my jam hiking nowhere?

1024
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1025
00:47:21,960 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 7: Is it as been four seasons? Are we talking about

1026
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:26,439
Speaker 7: a real good time?

1027
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:29,040
Speaker 1: Yeah? I need a guide with me for whatever I do,

1028
00:47:29,200 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 1: because I can't be trusted to find my way back.

1029
00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:33,399
Speaker 4: Then what I mean, Well, let's take a quick break

1030
00:47:33,400 --> 00:47:35,279
Speaker 4: and we'll be back with one last collar to wrap up.

1031
00:47:35,320 --> 00:47:42,000
Speaker 2: Okay, We're gonna take a quick break and we're back.

1032
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:45,680
Speaker 1: We're back, so quickest bake in town. I can't speak

1033
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,280
Speaker 1: either now, quickest bake in town.

1034
00:47:47,680 --> 00:47:51,719
Speaker 4: Wickets Blake, Christopher wrote in his subject line is he

1035
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:55,920
Speaker 4: shut down and canceled our trip? So, Christopher says, Dear Chelsea,

1036
00:47:56,280 --> 00:47:58,720
Speaker 4: I've been with my boyfriend for about three months. Things

1037
00:47:58,719 --> 00:48:01,160
Speaker 4: moved quickly between us, but we both felt it had

1038
00:48:01,200 --> 00:48:02,440
Speaker 4: real long term potential.

1039
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:03,800
Speaker 3: We had a few bumps.

1040
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:06,120
Speaker 4: He's very type A and I'm much more easygoing, but

1041
00:48:06,160 --> 00:48:09,520
Speaker 4: we've always managed to talk things through. Recently, we took

1042
00:48:09,520 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 4: a short practice trip before he planned a two week

1043
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:15,120
Speaker 4: vacation in Europe. During a sunset cruise, he got upset

1044
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,880
Speaker 4: with me over something small and completely shut down to

1045
00:48:17,920 --> 00:48:20,400
Speaker 4: the point where he acted like I didn't exist. It

1046
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:24,080
Speaker 4: was really painful, and we eventually moved past. It fast

1047
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:26,879
Speaker 4: forward to now. I planned almost the entire Europe trip,

1048
00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 4: making sure it was romantic and thoughtful. A few days

1049
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:31,759
Speaker 4: before we were supposed to leave, I mentioned I was

1050
00:48:31,800 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 4: playing tennis after work with a coworker. When I got home,

1051
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:37,520
Speaker 4: he refused to speak with me, and after a day

1052
00:48:37,520 --> 00:48:40,120
Speaker 4: of silence, he told me my location didn't show at

1053
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,200
Speaker 4: the tennis courts. Even though it did, he wouldn't hear

1054
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 4: me out. He shut down again and ultimately decided not

1055
00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,719
Speaker 4: to go on the trip. I'm heartbroken and confused. I

1056
00:48:48,800 --> 00:48:50,560
Speaker 4: care deeply about him, but I don't know how to

1057
00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:52,879
Speaker 4: move forward with someone who doesn't trust me and can't

1058
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:54,040
Speaker 4: communicate like an adult.

1059
00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:55,759
Speaker 3: What should I do? Christopher?

1060
00:48:56,040 --> 00:48:58,000
Speaker 4: And I think, Christopher, you just got back from the

1061
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 4: trip by yourself, right, I.

1062
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:05,040
Speaker 8: Went to Amsterdam. I changed the whole trip and did

1063
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:06,600
Speaker 8: a solo trip to Amsterdam.

1064
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:11,400
Speaker 2: Oh honey, that's really did you get down? Did you

1065
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,479
Speaker 2: get any action on that trip to Amsterdam? He can't

1066
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 2: say that publicly, Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1067
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 6: Yeah, oh yeah.

1068
00:49:19,239 --> 00:49:22,080
Speaker 8: A little update on that is so I went and

1069
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 8: I shut my location off because I didn't tell him

1070
00:49:24,520 --> 00:49:28,359
Speaker 8: that I was going to Amsterdam.

1071
00:49:26,920 --> 00:49:32,040
Speaker 7: And I'm because he's really into the locations.

1072
00:49:31,280 --> 00:49:34,560
Speaker 8: And I may grind there.

1073
00:49:34,640 --> 00:49:38,920
Speaker 2: So ye, okay, so have you broken up with this

1074
00:49:38,920 --> 00:49:39,640
Speaker 2: boyfriend yet?

1075
00:49:40,160 --> 00:49:43,399
Speaker 8: We are on break. We are supposed to talk this

1076
00:49:43,560 --> 00:49:48,120
Speaker 8: weekend about next steps, but I'm kind of hearing from

1077
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:51,359
Speaker 8: my friends as well that I should run and they

1078
00:49:51,440 --> 00:49:52,759
Speaker 8: always wanted to tell me that.

1079
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:55,480
Speaker 6: They thought it was from jump.

1080
00:49:55,719 --> 00:49:57,080
Speaker 2: How long has it been? How long?

1081
00:49:57,160 --> 00:49:57,720
Speaker 3: Three months?

1082
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:58,680
Speaker 2: Three months? Yeah?

1083
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:00,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, this is this is around that time to gather.

1084
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:05,200
Speaker 8: Three months but like seeing each other about five to

1085
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,319
Speaker 8: six kind of dating and then.

1086
00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,520
Speaker 2: Just get away from him. Get away from him.

1087
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:13,040
Speaker 1: You can't be with someone who can't communicate and that

1088
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 1: shuts down like that. He needs to go to therapy

1089
00:50:15,640 --> 00:50:18,359
Speaker 1: and until he goes to therapy, you have nothing.

1090
00:50:18,080 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 2: To do with him.

1091
00:50:19,400 --> 00:50:20,719
Speaker 6: Period. Yeah.

1092
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:23,719
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's like, listen, it's not three years. Be happy,

1093
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:24,960
Speaker 1: it's only been three months.

1094
00:50:24,960 --> 00:50:27,240
Speaker 7: And I will say that you got the sign quickly

1095
00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 7: and it's hard. Yeah, but you they showed you and

1096
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,520
Speaker 7: it doesn't mean that people can't change. But you saw

1097
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 7: what you need to see early. So at this point, right,

1098
00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,360
Speaker 7: you can stay in it if you want to, but

1099
00:50:39,480 --> 00:50:41,840
Speaker 7: you know what you're signing up for. Do you know

1100
00:50:41,920 --> 00:50:43,719
Speaker 7: what I mean. So it's kind of like.

1101
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,160
Speaker 2: Rinder is what you're signing up for basically.

1102
00:50:48,120 --> 00:50:50,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think it's on me too. I think what

1103
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:52,080
Speaker 8: I need to work on is I become kind of

1104
00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 8: a U hauler a lot, and I really you hauled

1105
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:59,160
Speaker 8: this one to where I'm like, was ready to move

1106
00:50:59,200 --> 00:51:03,120
Speaker 8: in and I realized, what if I move in and

1107
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,640
Speaker 8: he kicks me out because I was late home?

1108
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:10,800
Speaker 7: Yeah, he's unpredictable. Yeah, you don't know what's gonna happen.

1109
00:51:11,080 --> 00:51:15,959
Speaker 4: And the silent treatment is like toxic, bordering on abuse.

1110
00:51:16,280 --> 00:51:19,920
Speaker 1: Withholding when you're so to give someone the silent treatment

1111
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:23,719
Speaker 1: that it's withholding and it's abusive because yeah, and it's

1112
00:51:23,760 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 1: and it's also so immature, like it is so unevolved

1113
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,880
Speaker 1: and so not worth your time. It's it's disrespectful to

1114
00:51:29,920 --> 00:51:31,640
Speaker 1: you as a person to think that that's okay.

1115
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 7: And I guess to me too, is kind of a

1116
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 7: sign of them just wanting to hurt you and not

1117
00:51:36,200 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 7: wanting to work it out, because it's like we have

1118
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 7: all that like, let's talk it out. They're choosing to

1119
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 7: really lock into that pattern, but they just seem I

1120
00:51:47,480 --> 00:51:49,319
Speaker 7: think you would just be literally be on pins and

1121
00:51:49,360 --> 00:51:54,120
Speaker 7: needles around this person the entire time.

1122
00:51:54,520 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then the location off, Like what I actually

1123
00:51:58,239 --> 00:52:00,520
Speaker 1: would like to hear this conversation that you have next

1124
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:02,120
Speaker 1: with him, because you know that he was tracking you

1125
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:03,800
Speaker 1: while you were gone, and then you turned.

1126
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:05,880
Speaker 2: Your location off. I'm surprised he's even talking.

1127
00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,600
Speaker 6: To you, right, and that upset the facts that you

1128
00:52:07,600 --> 00:52:08,600
Speaker 6: turned the location off.

1129
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:10,799
Speaker 8: Yeah, I think what hurt me the most so was

1130
00:52:10,840 --> 00:52:13,480
Speaker 8: everything was like perfect, like as in a day before

1131
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:16,640
Speaker 8: tennis we were going on this trip, but I honestly

1132
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:19,680
Speaker 8: did play tennis. And I think for me, it's like

1133
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,120
Speaker 8: I started to get in my head of like.

1134
00:52:22,719 --> 00:52:26,479
Speaker 9: Of course, because you can't play tennis, like I didn't lie,

1135
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 9: And I think that's what really got in my head

1136
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:33,320
Speaker 9: of me and me starting to gravel and be like please,

1137
00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 9: like let's fix this, but like I didn't do anything.

1138
00:52:36,480 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 7: Wrong exactly because you want that's a natural reaction. You

1139
00:52:39,239 --> 00:52:42,279
Speaker 7: really care about this person. You may be even in

1140
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,480
Speaker 7: love or love this person, and you wanted it to work.

1141
00:52:45,560 --> 00:52:48,640
Speaker 7: But at the same time, it also should reveal to you,

1142
00:52:48,680 --> 00:52:51,000
Speaker 7: like you were saying, the amount of work that this

1143
00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:54,880
Speaker 7: person needs, because it seems as if, to put it politely,

1144
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,080
Speaker 7: they can very easily get triggered and set off on

1145
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:02,400
Speaker 7: things that aren't even there, right, Yeah.

1146
00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 3: So that's not about like his fear of.

1147
00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 7: That you're experiencing stuff and hurt which is legit right,

1148
00:53:09,880 --> 00:53:12,040
Speaker 7: that you had nothing to do with before you even

1149
00:53:12,080 --> 00:53:14,319
Speaker 7: came into the picture that's coming up for them and

1150
00:53:14,360 --> 00:53:16,680
Speaker 7: they don't know how to process or deal with it.

1151
00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:18,280
Speaker 7: And it's not to say that they're a bad person

1152
00:53:18,719 --> 00:53:22,399
Speaker 7: at the very least they need the time to work

1153
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:23,719
Speaker 7: it out and maybe but.

1154
00:53:23,640 --> 00:53:24,760
Speaker 6: You know what else sucks?

1155
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:29,760
Speaker 7: Can I just say this, Sometimes the most fun, exciting

1156
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:34,239
Speaker 7: swept up be the craziest.

1157
00:53:33,520 --> 00:53:35,120
Speaker 6: Ones, do you know what I mean?

1158
00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,879
Speaker 7: Like it can feel I sometimes in past relationships would

1159
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,000
Speaker 7: get over time. I was starting to pick up on

1160
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:42,799
Speaker 7: these kind of I'm saying this to say, you're not

1161
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 7: the first one to experience this, so don't feel like

1162
00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:45,839
Speaker 7: you're alone.

1163
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:46,000
Speaker 6: In all of this.

1164
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 7: And sometimes it's not for everyone, but those fast and

1165
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:55,279
Speaker 7: furious heavy you also get fast and furious bullshit too,

1166
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,080
Speaker 7: you know what I mean?

1167
00:53:56,239 --> 00:53:58,839
Speaker 6: Like there's two sides of that coin with.

1168
00:53:58,880 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 7: That kind of personality, and so it seems like you're

1169
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 7: also seeing not to say it wasn't real and what

1170
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:11,680
Speaker 7: you guys felt is what you felt. But sometimes I

1171
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:14,600
Speaker 7: don't know. Sometimes love is a little bit more boring

1172
00:54:14,760 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 7: and a little bit more it's not always high voltage.

1173
00:54:19,520 --> 00:54:20,879
Speaker 6: And sometimes because those people are.

1174
00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:22,759
Speaker 7: Like a little more high or strung, and you're gonna

1175
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:25,399
Speaker 7: also get those highs of the bad highs too.

1176
00:54:25,440 --> 00:54:26,399
Speaker 6: I don't know if that makes sense.

1177
00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: Oh, absolutely, I totally makes sense, I think. But you know,

1178
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,319
Speaker 1: you always have to look at these moments as with gratitude,

1179
00:54:33,400 --> 00:54:35,520
Speaker 1: like thank you for showing me who you are. Thank you,

1180
00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:37,319
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for not

1181
00:54:37,360 --> 00:54:40,080
Speaker 1: wasting my time. Don't it's not a struggle. You don't

1182
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:41,799
Speaker 1: have to make it this big struggle. And like, I

1183
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:44,120
Speaker 1: don't know, is it? What do I do? What I

1184
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 1: would do?

1185
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 2: You know what to do? That's a bad sign. He

1186
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:47,160
Speaker 2: has work to do.

1187
00:54:47,320 --> 00:54:49,120
Speaker 1: If he wants to do work and come back, great,

1188
00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:50,600
Speaker 1: you can talk to him in a few months after

1189
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:53,560
Speaker 1: it's had some therapy. But this is not how you're

1190
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:55,520
Speaker 1: going to go through life. So that's the end of

1191
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,120
Speaker 1: that story. You got the message out and clear it right,

1192
00:54:58,160 --> 00:55:00,200
Speaker 1: problem solved, Okay.

1193
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:01,880
Speaker 8: Yeah, And I think it's that way solved because I

1194
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 8: was also about to I was going to propose to No, no, no,

1195
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,879
Speaker 8: no no no no no no no no no, it

1196
00:55:19,920 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 8: was no one really knew besides one friend.

1197
00:55:24,040 --> 00:55:25,440
Speaker 2: This is a gift.

1198
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:28,920
Speaker 6: Was a gift. It was a big, big the.

1199
00:55:28,960 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: Universe stepping in to tell you wrong decision.

1200
00:55:32,040 --> 00:55:34,359
Speaker 6: And also, you have a big, beautiful heart.

1201
00:55:34,440 --> 00:55:36,879
Speaker 7: There is someone out there that's going to be down

1202
00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,000
Speaker 7: for all of that and will reciprocate the same exact

1203
00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,400
Speaker 7: thing back to you. And this relationship and the relationships

1204
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,319
Speaker 7: in the past will all make sense when you meet

1205
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:48,759
Speaker 7: that person. I promise you that without even knowing you

1206
00:55:49,239 --> 00:55:52,799
Speaker 7: so continue to be your beautiful, full heart itself, and

1207
00:55:52,840 --> 00:55:55,839
Speaker 7: the right person will be able to handle all of

1208
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,040
Speaker 7: that and give it all back in spades.

1209
00:55:58,320 --> 00:55:59,719
Speaker 8: Yeah, and I think I'm going to need to take

1210
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:03,080
Speaker 8: my I don't need to rush. I think you said

1211
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:03,440
Speaker 8: that too.

1212
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,200
Speaker 2: There's a lot of men out there. You're gonna be fine.

1213
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 2: Don't worry about it, all right, Christopher, God speed God,

1214
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:15,280
Speaker 2: thanks for calling in. Yeah, well that was really good advice.

1215
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:15,839
Speaker 8: You know what.

1216
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:19,800
Speaker 1: I like the intensity with which you are paying attention

1217
00:56:19,880 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 1: to these questions.

1218
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 2: I appreciate you. I appreciate your attention to this matter. Absolutely,

1219
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:26,279
Speaker 2: you really really were I.

1220
00:56:26,320 --> 00:56:31,520
Speaker 6: Still left my body to propose. I got so scared.

1221
00:56:32,600 --> 00:56:35,320
Speaker 2: We didn't even get into only Murders in the Building, Davine.

1222
00:56:35,760 --> 00:56:37,480
Speaker 6: Okay, but thank you for watching it.

1223
00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:38,600
Speaker 2: I love that you.

1224
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 1: I get you got that you asked him to do

1225
00:56:41,040 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 1: a scene with Meryl Street because.

1226
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:47,319
Speaker 6: That's right, you have to in this building. I'm like,

1227
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:48,520
Speaker 6: oh no, it's okay.

1228
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:50,160
Speaker 2: So you can catch Davine.

1229
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:53,000
Speaker 1: She's a new movie. It's Eternity. It's out in theaters now.

1230
00:56:53,120 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 1: You can catch her on Only Murders in the Building.

1231
00:56:55,680 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 1: And it's it's such a it's such a joy to

1232
00:56:57,719 --> 00:56:58,480
Speaker 1: sit down with you.

1233
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:03,880
Speaker 2: It's such a joy joy triple joy day. It's a

1234
00:57:03,920 --> 00:57:06,200
Speaker 2: triple joy day. Thank you for being with us here

1235
00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 2: on your wedding day.

1236
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:07,600
Speaker 6: Thank you.

1237
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 10: The word of the week is efficacious, adjective having the

1238
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:23,960
Speaker 10: power to produce a desired effect. Efficacious used in a sentence.

1239
00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 10: Everyone knows that women are more efficacious at problem solving

1240
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 10: and multitasking than men. Efficacious.

1241
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:40,880
Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the

1242
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:45,280
Speaker 1: High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February

1243
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:48,160
Speaker 1: through June, So go get your tickets now. If you

1244
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 1: want good seats and you want to come see me perform,

1245
00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:53,280
Speaker 1: I will be on the High and Mighty tour.

1246
00:57:53,840 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 3: Do you want advice from Chelsea?

1247
00:57:55,360 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 4: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find

1248
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 4: full video episodes Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at.

1249
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,240
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea pod.

1250
00:58:03,800 --> 00:58:07,680
Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive

1251
00:58:07,680 --> 00:58:10,200
Speaker 4: producer Katherine law And be sure to check out our

1252
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:17,320
Speaker 4: merch at Chelseahandler dot com