Speaker 1: This is it, it's we knows parenting. I'm Peter McNerney,
Speaker 1: I'm Beth now and where here we are here we
Speaker 1: are now, uh, still living in quarantine like the rest
Speaker 1: of you, or most people at least, still surviving. Um,
Speaker 1: everything's every day blurs into the next in some ways. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just sat down, as I often do with being
Speaker 1: these recordings, and I have a moment I go what
Speaker 1: happened this week? And then I next thought was what
Speaker 1: is a week? What is time? It's I feel like
Speaker 1: it makes us really have to lean into the routine
Speaker 1: of the week and like go hard on Friday night
Speaker 1: and Saturday to like feel like it's the weekend. It's
Speaker 1: so funny because the weekends have are now we haven't
Speaker 1: had full real weekends for our entire relationship because I'm
Speaker 1: usually teaching in from class on weekends. And know, it's
Speaker 1: what I've always wanted, is like for us to actually
Speaker 1: have downtime, and we do it. We do, although I'm
Speaker 1: sort of inevitably there's sort of some work being caught
Speaker 1: up on because we only have half work days throughout
Speaker 1: the week, but it is better than before. But I'm
Speaker 1: doing housework and you're doing we're getting ready to two.
Speaker 1: Being homeowners, we do have like a weird Saturday cleaning routine. Um,
Speaker 1: I took a lot of garbage to the dump. There's
Speaker 1: no garbage service here, so I go to the dump
Speaker 1: and I love it. You love the dump. I could
Speaker 1: just sort all my recyclables. You love errand's like I do.
Speaker 1: I think I do. That has not always been true.
Speaker 1: You know. My next task is what I'm going to
Speaker 1: redo the horseshoe pits. There's horseshoe pits where we are.
Speaker 1: They're like sixty years old. Okay, if you read those though,
Speaker 1: can you make me some um garden beds? Can you
Speaker 1: put build extra squares for plant and budgies and stuff?
Speaker 1: All right? Is this a challenge? Yeah? I don't know
Speaker 1: when we're if we're ever going to leave here, but
Speaker 1: I think I'm just gonna mentally prepare for it, being
Speaker 1: like not until summer or later. Yeah, We've we've planted
Speaker 1: all those herbs. We have to be here until at
Speaker 1: least we Yeah, I just feel like planting makes me
Speaker 1: feel like I'm like preparing for sort of like a
Speaker 1: good time and not like being trapped in a place
Speaker 1: that I don't normally live, you know, just like this
Speaker 1: is my home and making it my home. Things things
Speaker 1: are alive here because of me. It's my home. I
Speaker 1: made the life here. You made honestly, you made almost
Speaker 1: you know, almost half of the life here. Almost half
Speaker 1: of the life here. Yeah, okay, um no, but I
Speaker 1: did today, so I had this is so boring, but
Speaker 1: this is my life. Now. There had been some herbs
Speaker 1: that your mom planted at this house last summer, and
Speaker 1: so they were in this pot outside and they were
Speaker 1: like roots, but they were kind of dead, and there
Speaker 1: was like a couple that seems sort of salvageable, but
Speaker 1: it was still really cold outside. So I took some
Speaker 1: of the rosemary inside and put it in a glass
Speaker 1: of water, hoping that it would grow roots. And then
Speaker 1: it like sort of grow root, and then when I
Speaker 1: touched it, I like accedentally broke the root off, and
Speaker 1: then it like and then like three more weeks went
Speaker 1: by and now it has a root, and now I
Speaker 1: put it in a pot of dirt, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: just like, these are the things, like it will make
Speaker 1: my day if this plant grows these this is my life.
Speaker 1: It's like I've I've been fixing door knobs and hinges,
Speaker 1: and it is so satisfying. There are two doors upstairs
Speaker 1: there are so old that they're all warped. That the
Speaker 1: door wouldn't close because the just the door is too
Speaker 1: bigger than the doorframe. I went in the basement and
Speaker 1: I found a planer and I went up on top
Speaker 1: of the door and I just scraped like a quarter
Speaker 1: of an inch of the wood off the top of
Speaker 1: the door and it closes. The doors never closed for
Speaker 1: my entire life. And I fixed the lock on the
Speaker 1: bathroom door upstairs that shouldn't lock, So that was very satisfying.
Speaker 1: There you go, and you got this ship. The bathroom
Speaker 1: in our room has a window on it. Yeah. For
Speaker 1: some reason, it's like a French door to the bathroom
Speaker 1: where you with like a cheer curtain hanging over it
Speaker 1: that was on the outside of the door. So whenever
Speaker 1: I would go pee, the kids would come in the bedroom,
Speaker 1: pull the curtain aside and stare at me. And it's
Speaker 1: like just not like how what I want to be
Speaker 1: thinking about when I'm sitting in the bathroom. And now
Speaker 1: you can't see see that shade at all. That is
Speaker 1: rock shade. And I put on the inside of the door.
Speaker 1: That didn't even occur to me that the shade was
Speaker 1: on the outside. I understand why why they did that,
Speaker 1: because if you're going to put like a curtain, you
Speaker 1: don't necessarily want to getting steamed up and moldy the
Speaker 1: master bedroom. So anyway, it's yeah, it's well in This
Speaker 1: house also has like has had additions put on at
Speaker 1: different times, so sometimes there's just like weird little quirks
Speaker 1: of like why is this window to the other room.
Speaker 1: So I which went for a little walk today. It's
Speaker 1: been raining, it's going to rain all week here, and
Speaker 1: I went to the mailbox that I built, and uh,
Speaker 1: you're so proud on the way back your crowning. It's
Speaker 1: just something I had never even considered. Well, now that
Speaker 1: we know that you know how to poor concrete. My
Speaker 1: sister is really eager for you to put up a
Speaker 1: basketball hoop. I'm not against that. She's dying for you
Speaker 1: to do. Not a great place for it, but I
Speaker 1: just don't know if and how we could get a
Speaker 1: hoop delivered right now, if that's possible, maybe to have
Speaker 1: one home depot um probably not home depot. I've been
Speaker 1: going to lose anyway, um um, we've had our children
Speaker 1: have been still slightly insane, pretty good. I mean, Britain,
Speaker 1: I feel like we're over sending Brent to his room,
Speaker 1: but it's been a really rainy couple of weeks and
Speaker 1: so they're cooped up and I think sometimes he just
Speaker 1: like he gets overloaded and then he's like beyond help,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. This morning I met you
Speaker 1: made them. They're nice little worksheets, which was a nice
Speaker 1: surprise when we sat down to start Daddy school because
Speaker 1: we started we I do it in the morning, and
Speaker 1: you made these little things to drop a picture of
Speaker 1: day right, a thing, here's your name. Tracey'd copy it
Speaker 1: so that Maven and Britne could do together. There's a
Speaker 1: nice balance of like things that they both could do.
Speaker 1: And uh Brin said, I'm not doing this, and when
Speaker 1: I walked out of the room, he ripped it up
Speaker 1: and put it in the trash and I got so mad.
Speaker 1: That is really annoying because I spent a minute making that.
Speaker 1: But then Maven did the same thing with the other one,
Speaker 1: and then when they calmed down, they then both did
Speaker 1: the remaining page that you made for them. So you
Speaker 1: did twice as much more as you need to where
Speaker 1: they went the trash for somebody. I think that a
Speaker 1: weekend of so much TV and then they woke up
Speaker 1: the morning, watched TV and it was hard to get
Speaker 1: back into the Monday routine. Yeah, they've been doing a
Speaker 1: lot of that sort of thing lately. Maven has I
Speaker 1: think I had heard somewhere that like a lot of
Speaker 1: children are regressing right now because the coronavirus and routines
Speaker 1: are not going correctly and they're just feeling unsettled. So
Speaker 1: Maven has started peeing her pants again, which is not
Speaker 1: something she really did for a long time. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean here and there. Yeah, she's had occasional accidents here
Speaker 1: and there, but it's not like a thing she ever
Speaker 1: really had a problem with. This week, she has peter
Speaker 1: her pants like ten times twice today she's been she
Speaker 1: wore three dresses today. I think it was yesterday. She
Speaker 1: peter her pants definitely four times in one day. And
Speaker 1: I'd like keep trying to explain it to her, and
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to get team mad at her because
Speaker 1: I don't want her to be ashamed about it, like
Speaker 1: I just want she doesn't seem to be ashamed. I know,
Speaker 1: but like when you you were kind of getting mad
Speaker 1: at her, and then she like has started lying to
Speaker 1: us about it. So now it's more annoying because you
Speaker 1: don't know how long she's walking around and like sitting
Speaker 1: on stuff with peepye pants, and so I like, I'll
Speaker 1: like grab, I'll pick her up or something and feel
Speaker 1: her butt, and her pants were all wet. And I
Speaker 1: don't know how long she's been doing that. And she
Speaker 1: keeps when I tell her she paid her pants, she
Speaker 1: keeps being like, no, it's just sweat. It's like so
Speaker 1: much p I'm like, are you your little girls won't sweat?
Speaker 1: Like you're a bad liar three year old? She's she's
Speaker 1: lying so much lately. I walked into the room now,
Speaker 1: and I feel like I immediately to see Brin or
Speaker 1: may even look up at me, like Hi, the face
Speaker 1: just said I wasn't doing anything, so don't look in
Speaker 1: my hands behind my back. I didn't just eat an
Speaker 1: entire bag of Reese's peanut butter chips. So this morning
Speaker 1: she got ahold of a bag of chocolate chips that
Speaker 1: I kind of knew she knew about, but she was
Speaker 1: being kind of sly about. I would see her sneak
Speaker 1: a couple of chocolate chips out and then put it
Speaker 1: back in the drawer and then like go about her business.
Speaker 1: And I was like, at least she's being like sort
Speaker 1: of like considerate, like on Brand, who would just like
Speaker 1: dumped the whole thing all over the floor, you know,
Speaker 1: and so I just throw them all over the room
Speaker 1: and go, what, Yeah, he would just eat. So I
Speaker 1: hadn't really like put an end to it because it
Speaker 1: didn't seem like as big of a problem with some
Speaker 1: of their other raids. And then this morning she had
Speaker 1: chocolate all over her face and I found out from
Speaker 1: them that they're eating chocolate chips, but I didn't see
Speaker 1: them anywhere. And she was walking around carrying this like
Speaker 1: soft cloth easter basket. She got like carrying it like
Speaker 1: a purse. And all of a sudden I look in
Speaker 1: I realized she has a whole bag of chocolate chips
Speaker 1: in the easter basket. She's just been like carrying it
Speaker 1: around the house like a little psycho. What does psycho?
Speaker 1: And that little psycho is about to turn four, I know,
Speaker 1: on Friday. I can't believe it's already here. And you know,
Speaker 1: it's the weirdest. The weirdest thing about her birthday I
Speaker 1: think is the fact that we won't have any wrapping paper.
Speaker 1: I know. I was trying to decided to just do
Speaker 1: anything about that, and then I it's like I don't
Speaker 1: care well for I realized for a few days as
Speaker 1: I was like, well, we'll just use newspaper, and then
Speaker 1: I was like, I haven't touched a newspaper in how
Speaker 1: long we don't have newspaper? Do you think we have
Speaker 1: newspapers because I've had a newspaper. I'm in this house
Speaker 1: which I connect to my parents. I connected being home
Speaker 1: where there was always newspaper. I mean, I didn't think
Speaker 1: about it. It was a half thought. I'm just put
Speaker 1: it in boxes. Maybe we'll make it a scavenger hut.
Speaker 1: Would that be a fun way to open your presence
Speaker 1: because it's actually just annoying to hide stuff on Easter
Speaker 1: because then you have to mentally remember where everything is
Speaker 1: when they can't find it. Um, But what if you're
Speaker 1: a parent that loves that? I disagree. It's about idea. Wow.
Speaker 1: I she told me this today that she wants a
Speaker 1: narwhale cake, which I'm like, how the hell am I
Speaker 1: going to make a narwhal. I mean just not easy.
Speaker 1: You make a cake. The narwhal face is easier than
Speaker 1: a unicorn, and we'll just make a little cone with
Speaker 1: paper and put it on top. Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1: I love this idea, you know, the narwhale in Elf. Bye, buddy,
Speaker 1: I hope you'll find your dad. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: the design, like a little mouth, and I that we
Speaker 1: should go for. Okay, great, I'm so glad you're so enthusiastic. Um,
Speaker 1: what else? We can't go outside because it's raining for
Speaker 1: the rest of our lives. Um Brin smashed a lamp
Speaker 1: this week, among other things that was destroyed. If you
Speaker 1: want to see all the things that Britain has broken
Speaker 1: since we've been here, um, go to my Instagram. He
Speaker 1: also to day I thought for a second that he
Speaker 1: broke his nose because he was trying to play fight
Speaker 1: with me and then just whirled himself towards me, and
Speaker 1: I like sort of caught him, but his face flew
Speaker 1: into the side of the couch really hard. And then
Speaker 1: he pulled back and I was like, are you okay?
Speaker 1: And he was like no, and and and then I
Speaker 1: just see his nose was like I could see him
Speaker 1: like squinting, and I could see him like trying to
Speaker 1: decide how bad his face hurt, because he slammed his
Speaker 1: nose inside and then he was just like squinting and
Speaker 1: like feeling it for a second, and then slowly blood
Speaker 1: started dripping out of his nostril. I was he's handled
Speaker 1: it well at first, and then he didn't stand still
Speaker 1: well because then you were like, oh, hey, buddy, do
Speaker 1: you want me to graphically describe how this blood is
Speaker 1: coming out of your nose? I knew. I was like
Speaker 1: you were like you were like, what does it taste
Speaker 1: like in your throat? Blood? What does blood taste like?
Speaker 1: You were actually this have a scarier sense of experience.
Speaker 1: That caught his attention. That was the most successful thing
Speaker 1: I did know you. Once you left, we talked about it,
Speaker 1: and he was he was like, well, it distressed him
Speaker 1: when he wanted to know how I knew what metal
Speaker 1: tasted like, and I was like, that's a good question,
Speaker 1: because it tastes like blood. Um. But when I came
Speaker 1: over there, I knew. I knew. I was like, I
Speaker 1: need to stay calm because the other day you and
Speaker 1: Alison were out and when Britain broke the lamp. He
Speaker 1: was doing so he loves Monsters, Inc. And Monsters University,
Speaker 1: the two fine Pixar films. And in Monsters University there's
Speaker 1: a whole plot where they're doing like the scare games
Speaker 1: in college, and one of the events is like they
Speaker 1: have to sneak by this librarian, so it's a sneaking game.
Speaker 1: So Brin loves to sneak around as if he's one
Speaker 1: of the members of Uzma Kappa. And uh so he was.
Speaker 1: I was like walking a room and he'll like sneak
Speaker 1: with Maven around the edges, and of course they couldn't
Speaker 1: be louder because they're on all fours, like quiet, quiet,
Speaker 1: and so he was sneaking around the back of the
Speaker 1: couch and the table, and of course that's where the
Speaker 1: plug to the lamp was. The lamp is a basically
Speaker 1: a giant glass jar that my mom filled with pine
Speaker 1: cones and it's very cool and then a lamp plugs
Speaker 1: it on top. So he pulled that off and it
Speaker 1: fell basically on top of him, um and it shattered
Speaker 1: on the wall above his head, and then he got
Speaker 1: wedged between the table and the window. So that it
Speaker 1: didn't follow out of the ground, but all of the
Speaker 1: shattered glass fell down to the ground where he was
Speaker 1: on all fours and so I saw the shot shatter,
Speaker 1: and you know, very pan necked. I screamed. I said,
Speaker 1: don't move, like stop stop, and of course would Brant do,
Speaker 1: but he was totally freaked out by the fact that
Speaker 1: I freaked out and just started like in my mind,
Speaker 1: he'll like get food on his hand or something, and
Speaker 1: I'll be like brand and he like starts flapping the
Speaker 1: food all around the kitchen, like just like splashing it everywhere.
Speaker 1: I don't know how he did not cut himself, but
Speaker 1: he then was like on knees, his feet, his knees,
Speaker 1: his hands, all of them running like like a Fred
Speaker 1: Flintstone starting his car. They can think they're way out
Speaker 1: of there. Um. The whole time I was like stop,
Speaker 1: don't move, no freeze, stop eddie where they got out
Speaker 1: there like Brant? And then I quickly calmed down and said,
Speaker 1: it's like the reason why I was yelling of glass
Speaker 1: and I don't want to get hurt, are you okay?
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at you, um, But it was a
Speaker 1: really scary moment where I thought he's going to have
Speaker 1: like five cuts all of him. So when he had
Speaker 1: a bloody nose and I knew he was going to panic,
Speaker 1: I went straight to that and I was like, hey, buddy,
Speaker 1: we're fine. Blood buddy, the blood, it's cool, right. Can
Speaker 1: we talk about the Mann pee pants incident, which which
Speaker 1: one where you got very angry? I don't when did
Speaker 1: I get angry? You were like, she pewed her pants,
Speaker 1: and then we took them off and put them in
Speaker 1: the laundry, and then she went to the laundry basketball
Speaker 1: put the pepe pants. She put the pea pants back on,
Speaker 1: and then you were getting really mad at her. So
Speaker 1: he took the pants off again, and we're hiding them
Speaker 1: and she's still trying to get them up off a
Speaker 1: high shelf. Or you forgot the step where I in
Speaker 1: front of her put them in the sink to wash
Speaker 1: them and got them all wet. So I was like,
Speaker 1: well now you can't. In my mind was like, well,
Speaker 1: she won't want to wear him now, and so I
Speaker 1: threw him in the washing machine and she immediately rushed
Speaker 1: for the washing machine. I was like, I was like,
Speaker 1: come on, I had to go do a story part
Speaker 1: live show, in the basement and prepare all the tech
Speaker 1: for it, and so I was so annoyed, and then
Speaker 1: I put it up high, and then I don't remember
Speaker 1: what happened. Well, at one point you got so angry
Speaker 1: at her that you were They were like, you want
Speaker 1: to wear peep pants, Fine, you don't get close. And
Speaker 1: then you took her shirt off and took that away.
Speaker 1: And then she was standing there naked, like pouting and
Speaker 1: stomping her feet for so long. And it sounds cruel,
Speaker 1: and it was, and it was weird because she was
Speaker 1: being she was stood in the mudroom. So I put
Speaker 1: her pants up the highest point in the mud room.
Speaker 1: There's no way she could ever get to it, and
Speaker 1: then she kept reaching for it. She knew she can't
Speaker 1: reach it, it's like more than double our height, but
Speaker 1: looking at me going But she also had no pants
Speaker 1: and no one wear on and just her T shirt
Speaker 1: and was weirdly getting self conscious, so she would try
Speaker 1: to cover herself with jackets and then I would ignore her.
Speaker 1: But then she peek around the corner to see if
Speaker 1: I was looking, and then I wasn't looking, but then
Speaker 1: she wanted me to look so that she could be
Speaker 1: defiant and then I did look, but then she was
Speaker 1: self conscious because she was naked, and so it was
Speaker 1: just like there was so many complex emotions. I was
Speaker 1: like sure, and then I was like she was like
Speaker 1: that door aside was like cracked open, and she was
Speaker 1: standing in your coat that was hanging on the hook,
Speaker 1: and she was like huddling in it, shivering, and so
Speaker 1: I went to shut the door. So then of course
Speaker 1: she's so angry. She goes over and opens the door
Speaker 1: back up and then goes back into your coat to
Speaker 1: like shiver naked, and she just kept like staring at
Speaker 1: me through her like dirty bangs and just like being like,
Speaker 1: we ate dinner while she stood in the mudroom and
Speaker 1: we're just trying to ignore her because we tried to
Speaker 1: help her, like hey, let's do this, and then we're
Speaker 1: like all right, we're gonna ignore you. And then she
Speaker 1: was so mad that we were ignoring her that for
Speaker 1: all of dinner she was in the mud room and
Speaker 1: I kept peeking over and she would just lean back
Speaker 1: to look. And then the second we caught I she's
Speaker 1: like hid and be like she's like I want you
Speaker 1: to constantly know that I'm ignoring you. And then I
Speaker 1: lost my mind and she I found her again, trying
Speaker 1: to find her clothes, her wet pep clothes, try to
Speaker 1: grab him, John, you don't get that. You don't get close.
Speaker 1: And I took her t shirt off. I mean, but
Speaker 1: also in my mind, I was like, she's about to
Speaker 1: go to beds. She had to put on Jammie's so
Speaker 1: I just took this off. And I was like, that
Speaker 1: was an insane thing to say. This is such a funny.
Speaker 1: You don't get closing sounds terrible. Ah, that's your punishment. Um,
Speaker 1: oh boy, what are your hopes for the week ahead? Um?
Speaker 1: You know, just less punching from less p and pants
Speaker 1: from mayven. Let's rain Friday, Saturday's six degrees sixty plus
Speaker 1: hopefully no rain. Yeah? What else? You don't get? Closed?
Speaker 1: This next segment is called Listeners Want Knows, where we
Speaker 1: take questions and comments from you guys. All right, First
Speaker 1: of all, we got a nice handful of emails from
Speaker 1: folks emailing just say congratulations on a hundred episodes. Um,
Speaker 1: so thank you to all those individuals. They weren't even
Speaker 1: asking questions nothing for the part. I guess they just
Speaker 1: said congrats, thank you guys. How thoughtful. Thank you if
Speaker 1: you wrote in. Um, this email comes to us from
Speaker 1: Ah from a friend of mine. Uh, this is somebody
Speaker 1: of did improv with in New York City who I
Speaker 1: have not seen in a long time. Uh, Noel, who
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read this email? My partner and I live
Speaker 1: in downtown New York and are expecting a baby in
Speaker 1: a few weeks. We don't want to do anything as
Speaker 1: absurd as naming him or her COVID or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but do want to do something to help communicate to
Speaker 1: them what a crazy and historic time they came into
Speaker 1: the world during. What are some ideas that won't seem
Speaker 1: horribly morbid or depressing once this is behind us. Also,
Speaker 1: how long after you you had kids that had take
Speaker 1: to regain a comfortable headspace to start performing again. Congrats
Speaker 1: on a Hunter episodes. Here's the pick of my partner, Noel. Look,
Speaker 1: this picture is incredible. Oh my god. They're pregnant belly
Speaker 1: outside with a coronavirus mask on her face. That's really
Speaker 1: she looks really cute. That's a very cute cheese jacket. Um,
Speaker 1: she's ready to go, She's ready to pop. It's a
Speaker 1: great photo. Well. Uh, this is a great question, Noel,
Speaker 1: and I could not help the so the very immediately
Speaker 1: my brain. So Noah's last name is denin no Denin
Speaker 1: the very first thing, I was like, well, it's got
Speaker 1: to be quarantine toned right, quarantine to No, it's not
Speaker 1: and it should not. But I do want to say
Speaker 1: quarantine to need. Yeah, that's our answer, quarantine to al right,
Speaker 1: next action, Um, I mean I don't do Do you
Speaker 1: name your child Rhona? No, it's Rona. I don't need
Speaker 1: more poetic about it, and I don't have a good
Speaker 1: answer right now. Like I think you've got to find
Speaker 1: a meaningful metaphor for yourself about what this time means
Speaker 1: for you. Um uh, name your child inside inside? I
Speaker 1: mean that I think you could, you know, like evoke
Speaker 1: sort of like you're the meaning or positivity that you're
Speaker 1: finding in this time. So it's like something that makes
Speaker 1: you feel safe, like haven, you know, like you like
Speaker 1: find haven, or like Maven, like maven um or Bryn,
Speaker 1: which means hill, like the hill that you stand on
Speaker 1: in a troubled time, say Maven denin um. Yeah, But
Speaker 1: I think like, well here's a question. It probably it's
Speaker 1: you know, obviously doesn't have to be. You shouldn't name
Speaker 1: you child, your COVID or quarantine. But what is something
Speaker 1: if it was us right now, Beth, what is something
Speaker 1: that's very prevalent in our life right now that wasn't
Speaker 1: before all this happened? Um drinking? It is literally you
Speaker 1: should name your child old fashioned, mean um bitters. Simple syrup.
Speaker 1: Oh here comes old simple syrup. Oh boy, simple syrup
Speaker 1: is delightful of the town simpleton. But it's me simple Syrup.
Speaker 1: I was trying to come up with the name for
Speaker 1: a cocktail I made up the other night, and I
Speaker 1: was like, it's kind of like a bloody orange. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm sure Noel will come up with something much better
Speaker 1: than we have. Well, he's asking us bath. I need
Speaker 1: time to think about this. I need to give them
Speaker 1: a questionnaire of like what resonates for you guys culturally,
Speaker 1: like um, in terms of your family, like I don't know.
Speaker 1: I feel like the name has to make sense. It's
Speaker 1: very personal, social distancing, distant, dustin dustinything like game. It
Speaker 1: after some saint that's like a hermit. That's the most
Speaker 1: that's most of them. St. Francis. St. Francis was a hermit. St.
Speaker 1: Francis is of a c C. He's the one of
Speaker 1: animals I know. But because he was out in the wilderness, right,
Speaker 1: I don't think so this Franciscan friars there they secluded
Speaker 1: well anyway, Francis thorough Yeah, um boy, this is the listeners?
Speaker 1: What is it great or terrible? Uh? Coronavirus? Baby name?
Speaker 1: Did they say if they're having a girl or a boy?
Speaker 1: They don't think they know because they kept saying him
Speaker 1: or her? Um? Uh. I think like you can look
Speaker 1: at like what what they're reading right now or watching
Speaker 1: or feeling inspired by, Like sometimes you take a person's
Speaker 1: last name or you know, like they'll find something. How
Speaker 1: did you because you came up um with most of
Speaker 1: our kids names. I was smart enough to recognize that
Speaker 1: you had some good ideas. Um was that? Did you
Speaker 1: find those? Just from? I mean I sort of know,
Speaker 1: but um of the typical like just going through all
Speaker 1: the lists until you find something cool? Uh? No. I
Speaker 1: think I searched more specifically, Like I was into like
Speaker 1: very British Isles names and like nature e sounding names,
Speaker 1: and like you can kind of search by different terms
Speaker 1: and like like I was looking for a while her
Speaker 1: names that were associated with the ocean, because as you know,
Speaker 1: I have a deep love for the ocean. But it's
Speaker 1: just like those names felt like too much like Oceana
Speaker 1: and like, um, but I told you my Oceana story.
Speaker 1: Keep going on, me tell them at the end. Okay. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I do think like that if they keep like thinking
Speaker 1: about the things that they're most drawn to, they'll just
Speaker 1: sort of they'll hone in on it. Um. Great, Uh,
Speaker 1: what is the most Beth? What do you think the
Speaker 1: most pervasive? Is that the right word? What is the
Speaker 1: what is the biggest thing in our lives right now
Speaker 1: that it's just what was not really any part of
Speaker 1: our lives a month and a half ago? Um? Yard work, sweeping, cooking, Uh,
Speaker 1: going to the dump dump McNerney would be our next child.
Speaker 1: Arcle comes old Dumpy McNerney and his friends. Simple syrup. Um.
Speaker 1: I think you know once again, like I said, you
Speaker 1: could be more poetic, Like I don't know, I'd be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I love that the house were in as lots of woodwork,
Speaker 1: and a type of wood is rowan, and rowan is
Speaker 1: a nice name something like that, um wood so Um.
Speaker 1: The other question was how long after having a child
Speaker 1: did we get back into performing? How long after child?
Speaker 1: I mean you were back like immediately basically, yeah, I
Speaker 1: didn't really stop. I don't think. I took Britan to
Speaker 1: a reductor show when he was about a month old,
Speaker 1: and it was like my first big outing with him.
Speaker 1: Was it a month or maybe two months? But I
Speaker 1: felt so insane leaving the house? Oh, maybe it was.
Speaker 1: Maybe it was a month in that I did a show.
Speaker 1: I did a show without him. I think I left
Speaker 1: him at my such as apartment and I ran down
Speaker 1: town to do a show. I was not more than
Speaker 1: like I guess I was like eighty blocks away, but
Speaker 1: it's still I felt like he was going to die.
Speaker 1: Every second I was away from him. I was just like,
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, I need to get back. Why am I here?
Speaker 1: I was like, you know when you're like on stage
Speaker 1: and you're just like, I'm really weird. I haven't spoken
Speaker 1: to a human in a while. Anyway, you're trying to
Speaker 1: pretend to be a fake human when you don't remember
Speaker 1: how to be a real one. I just like, the
Speaker 1: reason I'm acting like this is because my child is
Speaker 1: away from me for the first time. Like, I just
Speaker 1: like was very like literal, there's a lot of fight
Speaker 1: or flight signals going on. Yeah, anyway, I, um, but
Speaker 1: I'm not a super regular performer. I think I probably
Speaker 1: just did that to prove something to myself, like to
Speaker 1: prove that I would eventually leave the house again. Well,
Speaker 1: you mean at that point, I think you were excited
Speaker 1: to get out of the house. I think I was
Speaker 1: like terrified. I think I like said, I like probably
Speaker 1: agreed to the show in advance, thinking like I'll be
Speaker 1: fine by then, and then I was just like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, what have I done? Um but I think
Speaker 1: it's different when you're a mom and you have a
Speaker 1: lot of hormones in your body screaming at you to
Speaker 1: hold your baby every second. Um. I will say the
Speaker 1: amount of performing that I did dramatically went down after
Speaker 1: that point. I mean not, I mean I still did.
Speaker 1: I did one show a week for a long time,
Speaker 1: but before the all this happened, I was down to
Speaker 1: every other week, which was the least I have performed
Speaker 1: the last fifteen years. From some oh, now I'm doing
Speaker 1: two shows a week from my basement. What all I
Speaker 1: will say about this, though? The advice that I gave
Speaker 1: someone else a while back is like if you're planning
Speaker 1: on going back to performing after you have a kid,
Speaker 1: I think it is important to realize that, like career
Speaker 1: wise or like joy wise, I think sometimes you can
Speaker 1: get what you need out of a less frequent performance
Speaker 1: schedule for a little while. So depending on whether this
Speaker 1: is like your career or just like a creative outlet
Speaker 1: or what, I think you can like cut down your
Speaker 1: schedule a little bit. Yeah. I will say when I
Speaker 1: do get to do a show, I appreciate it a
Speaker 1: lot more because I don't do nine shows a week. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I think like if, just for example, if you
Speaker 1: were hosting a show that was like twice a month
Speaker 1: and then you have a new born at home, it's like,
Speaker 1: no one's really going to care if you cut that
Speaker 1: show back to once a month. You know, it's just anyway.
Speaker 1: Um So yeah, Ronie, that's my my suggestion. What do
Speaker 1: you Rony? And we got some more listeners want to
Speaker 1: know for you guys, We got some more. Here we go,
Speaker 1: Mother's Day question. Hi, Beth and Peter listened to your
Speaker 1: hundredth episode today. Congratulations, Thank you. I've been listening to
Speaker 1: you guys since the start, which was quite a while ago.
Speaker 1: Oh sorry, which was quite a while before I had
Speaker 1: my son, Bertie, who is now eight months old. I
Speaker 1: really enjoy the podcast, especially you're keen attention to gender
Speaker 1: and how you manipulate norms around it as you both parent.
Speaker 1: I have included a picture of Bertie. I apologize to
Speaker 1: Beth that he isn't a fat baby. He's big though,
Speaker 1: ten pounds eight ounces that birth a million pounds now,
Speaker 1: I guess based on how my back feels carrying him
Speaker 1: around all day as some background information, and my wife
Speaker 1: and I conceived him using reciprocal reciprocal I F V,
Speaker 1: which means we used her egg and I carried him
Speaker 1: fun times. That is so cool. I gotta pause to
Speaker 1: show Beth, don't don't apologize for your baby not being fat,
Speaker 1: and all baby photos are welcomed here. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 1: don't apologize. Oh my gosh, we got a little redhead.
Speaker 1: Oh boy, oh boy, Bertie, Bertie boy. Um reciprocal I
Speaker 1: F I VF. I've heard of that, but I've not
Speaker 1: heard the term. That's awesome. I have a conundrum regarding
Speaker 1: Mother's Day, which I thought you might have some ideas
Speaker 1: on probably the whole idea of Mother's Day and Father's
Speaker 1: Day is quite heteronormative, but that hasn't stopped my wife
Speaker 1: and I from wanting to play along in some way.
Speaker 1: But how do same sex couples participate in this tradition?
Speaker 1: I feel like it's not fair if we both have
Speaker 1: to quote unquote share Mother's Day, because it would be
Speaker 1: nice to spoil whoever special day it is. It would
Speaker 1: also feel very weird for one person to be assigned
Speaker 1: Father's Day, because the whole point is that neither of
Speaker 1: us is the father. I'm also very aware that I
Speaker 1: don't want to position myself as being quote unquote more
Speaker 1: of a mother than my wife. Being pregnant and birthing
Speaker 1: a baby are not the best or truest way to
Speaker 1: become a mother, as evidenced by the many non gestational
Speaker 1: mothers I know, adoptive foster step as well as queer moms.
Speaker 1: Sometimes we think we should just come up with two
Speaker 1: whole noon days. Do you have any fun suggestions for
Speaker 1: a way to celebrate both of Birdie's mothers which I
Speaker 1: suppose could be applicable to any of your queer listeners. Also,
Speaker 1: what did you guys do for Beth's first Mother's Day?
Speaker 1: Is it a big deal in your family, sending you
Speaker 1: extra love in these hectic pandemic times. Rosalie from Adelaide Australia, Well, um,
Speaker 1: that's a good question. I don't. I don't. I think
Speaker 1: that solved really depends on your preferences. Because my first
Speaker 1: instinct was like you just do like a week after
Speaker 1: Mother's Day the next Sunday and have that be like
Speaker 1: Mom's Day so that you each get your own day.
Speaker 1: But then I thought, maybe that's stacking the holidays too
Speaker 1: close together, just in terms of family planning overloads. I
Speaker 1: think it has to do with how much you really
Speaker 1: love holidays. I think we wouldn't go for that. Um.
Speaker 1: I think we like being recognized and appreciation, but we're
Speaker 1: not huge gift and event. Yeah, we're not big like
Speaker 1: like Valentine's Day or Mother's and Father's Day people. I
Speaker 1: don't remember what I did for my first Mother's Day,
Speaker 1: to be honest, Um, we've never done anything extravagant um um,
Speaker 1: but we That's when I was growing up, it was
Speaker 1: never you know, it was whatever mom wants to do,
Speaker 1: that's what we do. I remember as a teenager being
Speaker 1: really like mom wants to take a raft on the
Speaker 1: mini ha ha creek come on. Well. So like in
Speaker 1: my family, Mother's Day is like a week away from
Speaker 1: my dad's birthday and then Father's Day is like a
Speaker 1: week before my mom's birthday in June, and so it
Speaker 1: feels both times I get just totally overloaded because like
Speaker 1: me and my sister are like, okay, we have to
Speaker 1: plan four guests right now, Like it just sneaks up
Speaker 1: on you, you know, I don't feel like super well,
Speaker 1: you know what I always feel about Mother's Day is
Speaker 1: it's never about that one person because there's always so
Speaker 1: many people have to be have to spend a whole
Speaker 1: day honoring all the moms. So I never feel like
Speaker 1: I've been in a situation where all the attentions on
Speaker 1: one mom. So if it was us, we would probably
Speaker 1: just say, oh, would do the same day. What there
Speaker 1: is something really exciting. This is maybe not what you want,
Speaker 1: but in my mind, how cool is it to have
Speaker 1: a day where you go, hey, we're going to celebrate
Speaker 1: our parents. Um uh, that's that's the unique thing. I'd
Speaker 1: never considered a day where we celebrate both of our parents.
Speaker 1: But isn't part of celebration like that someone else gets
Speaker 1: together the event or the gift or something for you, right,
Speaker 1: like if you have kids and then you're getting the
Speaker 1: gifts for them and then you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: It's like I was sort of picturing more grown up
Speaker 1: kids now that I'm thinking about it. Yeah, well you,
Speaker 1: I'd say, if you really love events to two things
Speaker 1: spring divine. One you do Mother's Day, ah, and then
Speaker 1: in six months you do inverse Mother's Day. That's a
Speaker 1: bad name for it, bad Mother's Other Mother's Day, your
Speaker 1: Mother's Day, and you do other Mother's Day, and you
Speaker 1: alternate every year who gets to be mother and who
Speaker 1: gets to be other mother? What? Maybe you just call
Speaker 1: them both other Mother's Day, others others Mother's Day and
Speaker 1: the other other other Mother's Day. It's just a biannual.
Speaker 1: If you picked two random days, you'd have to call
Speaker 1: it others mothers Other Mother's Day, and the other one
Speaker 1: is other other Mother's Day, or it's Mother's Day weekend
Speaker 1: and one of you is Saturday and one of you
Speaker 1: is Sunday. But okay, so if you do six months away,
Speaker 1: that would put Other Mother's Day in November, which is
Speaker 1: terrible timing. Well no, but there, but they lived down under,
Speaker 1: so it's it's better. I guess if they if they
Speaker 1: don't celebrate Thanksgiving. Yeah, it's perfect. Well, that's a great question.
Speaker 1: I mean they did say Mother's Day's coming up. I
Speaker 1: assume Mother's Days. I don't know is that international holiday?
Speaker 1: I assume because you're writing about it. I think it
Speaker 1: might be one of those ones that has different days
Speaker 1: in different countries. I'm not sure. Well, they mean they're
Speaker 1: writing about it now, so it must be the same time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: in which case you should really try having Mother's Day
Speaker 1: in the spring. It's way better than fall. Um. Yeah,
Speaker 1: other mothers, others mothers, other Mother's Day, others mothers who
Speaker 1: Other Mother's Day is when you celebrate moms that aren't yours,
Speaker 1: other mothers, smothers, brothers, the mother's brothers. Um uh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what it's There's there's no right way, obviously.
Speaker 1: I think you guys seem to. That's the way you
Speaker 1: were at this email. You've got a healthy attitude about it.
Speaker 1: Make your own traditions. Holidays don't mean anything universally. It's
Speaker 1: the holidays about what your family makes it. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: mean it's like you could also just make it like
Speaker 1: apple picking Day or whatever. Thing is fun for you
Speaker 1: specifically to do to celebrate yourself being a parent. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: other other the other, mothers, brothers Day. What was your
Speaker 1: favorite holiday growing up? I love Halloween interesting to fourth
Speaker 1: of July interesting? Um mine was Christmas was number one always,
Speaker 1: then my birthday, then Halloween, then it's then it's a
Speaker 1: real then Thanksgiving and then who cares Fourth of yourly? Maybe?
Speaker 1: What was your Mother's Day traditions growing up? I don't remember.
Speaker 1: We probably had like a brunch or like, there was
Speaker 1: definitely a brunch involved, Like we probably made pancakes and
Speaker 1: gave my mom something, and then depending on the year,
Speaker 1: we might have taken her out to dinner or something.
Speaker 1: I don't know, depending on the year, like if it
Speaker 1: was an even year or an odd year, but my dad,
Speaker 1: whether how much my dad got a ship together that year,
Speaker 1: I don't know. We probably all realized it was happening
Speaker 1: about two days beforehand, and then we figured something out.
Speaker 1: It was fine. That was that was about my family too.
Speaker 1: They're never a huge Mother's Day. Then just became, um no,
Speaker 1: I'm mixing up. I just suddenly had a memory of
Speaker 1: my mom sending me a cardon Mother's Day. But I'm
Speaker 1: thinking of Valentine's Day. Don't let me forget to call
Speaker 1: only you could like come up with a memory a
Speaker 1: Mother's Day being about you. No, you know what I thought? Why?
Speaker 1: I thought that because on Valentine's Day, my mom would
Speaker 1: always send me a card and I'd always feel really
Speaker 1: bad that I, once again, like, didn't send her a
Speaker 1: card on Valentine's Day, So it felt getting a card
Speaker 1: for her. I have memories of feeling selfish she did
Speaker 1: not send me a card on Mother's Day, but that
Speaker 1: would be even worse version of that feeling. Ah. Well, Oh,
Speaker 1: I almost called you Adelaide Rosalie from adelaide Um. You
Speaker 1: do you. That's what we say Adelaide. It's a really
Speaker 1: nice name. If Noel wants to use that, it's just
Speaker 1: very pretty. You could just because you so you never forget.
Speaker 1: Just connected to that podcast episode that you listened to
Speaker 1: right before you had baby during the coronavirus um old
Speaker 1: Adelaide pure El Denin. Well, this has been another episode
Speaker 1: of We Knows parenting, and that's a fact. If you'd
Speaker 1: like to reach out, share a story, tell us how
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