Speaker 1: I was a Tamerica. Go to you. I like Tamara
Speaker 1: better shoes. I was always a tea man. I bet
Speaker 1: you were a tear man, your fucking teacher.
Speaker 2: Here's what I'll say, if you look at them as
Speaker 2: grown ups, Tia, what's the right choice?
Speaker 1: I don't even know how they progress.
Speaker 2: It is.
Speaker 1: Tia is tea together.
Speaker 2: Now, Tia is still Tia still loves black people's tea
Speaker 2: is still.
Speaker 1: Like down with the community. Where did Amara go? Tamara
Speaker 1: went elsewhere? You're so happy? So happy?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you you look like you placed a bed. That's
Speaker 3: weird to be that happy.
Speaker 1: He bet on whereins?
Speaker 4: That's what I'm telling you, because them bitches behaved differently?
Speaker 1: Where is Tamara? That's our spinoff podcast from this say
Speaker 1: the finding Tamara chips in yours are racist.
Speaker 2: The.
Speaker 1: Money turkey stuff I can't tell me. Voices in my
Speaker 1: head be telling me to go to church. They say,
Speaker 1: the Lord is the only way for you to stop
Speaker 1: to hurt. Welcome Little Mama's and gentiles alike to another
Speaker 1: phenomenal episode of My Mama Told Me.
Speaker 2: The podcast where we daft deep deep into the pockets
Speaker 2: of black conspiracy theories and.
Speaker 1: We finally worked to prove that Kim Whitley is Jackie Harry.
Speaker 1: I don't care. I don't care. I don't care. I'm
Speaker 1: David boy. I can't tell what you're saying. I don't
Speaker 1: care too, but I love it. That's very good.
Speaker 2: And also, I would like to point out that you
Speaker 2: gave me a lot of ship in one of our
Speaker 2: recent episodes for for my selected quote, my song of
Speaker 2: choice to bring us into the episode, and you just
Speaker 2: did a a A R. Kelly deep cut for Josh
Speaker 2: h don't.
Speaker 1: All right fair enough song? That was crazy, and you
Speaker 1: did a vile, vile man. Listen, agree to disagree.
Speaker 2: I think he's a pretty cool guy.
Speaker 1: Also, did you have a Kim Whitley phase? I feel
Speaker 1: like we were all very affected. I'm still in my
Speaker 1: Kim Whitley phase. What do you mean, Friday? I would
Speaker 1: go with Kim Whitley tonight. Yeah, she could. She could
Speaker 1: take me from my partner.
Speaker 2: Come on, man, it would It would get Joe pick
Speaker 2: me up, big mama, Let's get out of here.
Speaker 1: She knows the effect she had on generations of us.
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: I think that's why she's so comfortable being a silly billy.
Speaker 2: It's the most beautiful part of her is that like
Speaker 2: she knows she's bad as fuck, she knows she's untouchable.
Speaker 2: So yeah, go ahead, you know what I mean. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I'll go ahead, put on some weird pants and spur
Speaker 2: my butt cheeks.
Speaker 1: Whatever she'd be doing. She's silly. You know.
Speaker 2: Our guest today, I imagine I don't know when his
Speaker 2: Kim Whitley face came and went, but you've already heard
Speaker 2: his name, and we're so excited he's here. You know
Speaker 2: him from the Goddamn Tonight Show, from the Daily Show,
Speaker 2: you know him from his comedy specials. He's so funny.
Speaker 2: We're so happy that he's joining us. Please give it
Speaker 2: up for Josh Johnson.
Speaker 1: Oh thanks.
Speaker 3: My Kim Whitley phase was during Sister Sister Ah.
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Sometimes Tia and would be on screen. I'd be fine
Speaker 3: with it, and then Kim Whitley would show up, and
Speaker 3: then Tamayor would get on screen. I'd be like, what
Speaker 3: are you doing?
Speaker 2: I can't if you're fully playing into Bory's bit of
Speaker 2: d either Jackie jack A being the same person.
Speaker 3: Well, this is this is my thing, right, the one
Speaker 3: thing I do. Take slight exception to is doing the
Speaker 3: R Kelly cut for Chicago for me because it feels
Speaker 3: like if it feels like if it was your birthday
Speaker 3: and then someone got you a murder weapon. It's like
Speaker 3: you didn't have to do anything. I was just happy
Speaker 3: to be here and you're like, no, no, this R
Speaker 3: Kelly is for you, Josh, because I know it'll it'll
Speaker 3: touch your heart. The way that you know, the way
Speaker 3: that it's cut together really speak to you specifically. You
Speaker 3: know why I don't need to say it.
Speaker 1: Well, I think that uh, you take the message, not
Speaker 1: the messenger and some things, and I think if we
Speaker 1: can all take from that line. Also, I couldn't remember
Speaker 1: a crucial conflict line and that was the second funniest
Speaker 1: thing I could have happened smoking is hey in the
Speaker 1: middle of the barn? Yeah, hey in the middle. I
Speaker 1: think I love that one pretty Yeah. Probably you're a
Speaker 1: good representative of your region.
Speaker 2: I gotta go regional first. But but Josh, we're not
Speaker 2: here to talk to you about regions or Kim Whitley
Speaker 2: or your deep, deep love for R Kelly. Uh, we
Speaker 2: are here to discuss. Look, we can't dilly and dally
Speaker 2: on this all day. Josh, you came to us with
Speaker 2: a very daunting conspiracy. I would say one that every
Speaker 2: time I think about it chills me to my bones.
Speaker 2: Bory how you feel about this, but it gives me
Speaker 2: the goddamn shivers every time I think about it. You said,
Speaker 2: my mama told me we are living in a matrix.
Speaker 1: Tell us everything you know.
Speaker 3: Okay, So it's not the matrix necessarily as in the
Speaker 3: movie from ninety nine. It's more the matrix as the
Speaker 3: concept of the movie from ninety nine. We live in
Speaker 3: a sort of simulation. It's impossible to potentially impossible to
Speaker 3: break out of. Anyone who really claims to have broken
Speaker 3: out of it is not really broken out, because it
Speaker 3: would be like if you were watching the movie The
Speaker 3: Matrix and then somebody in the matrix said, y'all, I'm free,
Speaker 3: but they're still hooked up, Like there's still and you
Speaker 3: can tell it because there's no like when someone actually
Speaker 3: wants freedom, there's no coseplay towards subjugation. If you want
Speaker 3: to be free as a person you're not, then like, yeah,
Speaker 3: I'm so free. I'm a free thinker. I don't care
Speaker 3: about anything, but I would like a maserati. It's like, no,
Speaker 3: you're still locked in. Yeah, that's insane. That's also why
Speaker 3: you see some of the richest people in the world
Speaker 3: acting like or thinking that they broke from the Matrix.
Speaker 3: It's like, no, you just don't have a bed time
Speaker 3: or alarm clock. You're free from the confines of like
Speaker 3: what keeps us socially strained, but you're not thinking on
Speaker 3: another level and you haven't broken through anything.
Speaker 2: You think the simulation then, is food that we live in,
Speaker 2: is potentially is s capable and still being present in it?
Speaker 2: Or is it like the Matrix in that when you
Speaker 2: are pulled out of this simulation officially your body ceases
Speaker 2: to exist. You become you're like eating mud pudding in
Speaker 2: the sky or whatever the fuck they were doing.
Speaker 3: So to answer your question, there's a thing about the
Speaker 3: movie The Matrix that's like a fan theory that was
Speaker 3: never like, it's not cannon or anything, but it's basically
Speaker 3: that the entirety of what we're watching is just layers
Speaker 3: of the Matrix. Because if you remember the third movie,
Speaker 3: when he talks to the architect, the architect tells him
Speaker 3: that he's like the fifth or sixth Neo or whatever
Speaker 3: like that he's not the original, that this has happened before.
Speaker 3: And if he's not original, if this was all happened before,
Speaker 3: and if the TV's in the background are playing all
Speaker 3: of the potential outcomes of the conversation that they're having,
Speaker 3: then there really is no way to break out. And
Speaker 3: one of the ways that the matrix keeps you locked
Speaker 3: in is by continuously quote unquote freeing you. You know
Speaker 3: what I mean by like letting you break through. But
Speaker 3: when he woke up in that like pool of slime,
Speaker 3: he was still in the matrix and he's flying.
Speaker 2: Let's let's call it what it was. That was robot
Speaker 2: pussy juice, and please finish your thought, but let's be accurate.
Speaker 2: On the podcast, it was robot pussy jew.
Speaker 3: And he was still in the matrix. Then when he's
Speaker 3: flying around and he's fighting the Smiths and he's killing them,
Speaker 3: he's still in the matrix.
Speaker 1: Then.
Speaker 3: But there are some people that in the line of
Speaker 3: logic that this fan theory had for the movie, there
Speaker 3: are some people who are those sort of like I
Speaker 3: guess you'd say, like heightened thinkers are more awakened or
Speaker 3: need a more elaborate ruse to settle themselves within the matrix,
Speaker 3: and so that is that's what I mean when I
Speaker 3: say that we're living in a matrix. I think it
Speaker 3: is a simulation, and I like this, this is not
Speaker 3: in the alien's territory. But the same way that there
Speaker 3: are so many planets and such a wide expanse of
Speaker 3: the universe that it's kind of impossible to believe that
Speaker 3: we're alone. I think that lends itself to the matrix,
Speaker 3: in that there are so many different outcomes of from
Speaker 3: moment to moment, and there's so many layers to reality
Speaker 3: that the idea that you can even get deja vu
Speaker 3: feels like a glitch in time. I should never get
Speaker 3: dejah What do you I've never been here before and
Speaker 3: I don't know this person, and why is this feel
Speaker 3: familiar right now? That's crazy?
Speaker 1: Bory, Bory, Where.
Speaker 2: Do you live in all of this? Because this is
Speaker 2: we're already. I think we're in some dense ship already.
Speaker 1: I don't. This is a conversation I've had with a
Speaker 1: lot of people a lot of times. I personally hate this.
Speaker 1: I think it's I think it's for smart people with
Speaker 1: main character syndrome to be fuck are you talking about
Speaker 1: there's a bunch of people here doing a bunch of
Speaker 1: different things, because the thing about the Matrix is like
Speaker 1: it gives too much to like what's the what's the
Speaker 1: point of the simulation, But at least within the movie,
Speaker 1: it's like a harvesting thing. Because you said, like the matrix,
Speaker 1: if we're going from what the movie is, he did
Speaker 1: get out of the Matrix's he was obsessed with it,
Speaker 1: and he went back to help people, but he was
Speaker 1: out of it. He was in the world. He was not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's why I use the fan theory to explain
Speaker 3: why this is one of the most persistent ones that
Speaker 3: I think about, because for me, it's not necessarily main
Speaker 3: character syndrome because I don't think I'm like the one.
Speaker 3: I don't think that everyone is an is an extra
Speaker 3: in a movie about me. I think I'm the extra.
Speaker 3: I think that like I watch what's happening in the world,
Speaker 3: and I'm like, that's too dumb to be real. I
Speaker 3: must be a part of somebody else's dream, like.
Speaker 1: Shit's just dumb, man, because it's more exciting that way.
Speaker 1: But I think that shit's just dumb.
Speaker 3: I mean, some of my life feels like it would
Speaker 3: make more sense if we were all just part of
Speaker 3: Pete Davidson's dream, like if we were all, do think
Speaker 3: about it. I know you think you're living your life,
Speaker 3: but if anything, you're the one with the main character syndrome,
Speaker 3: because we are all a glimpse of a dream in
Speaker 3: Pete Davidson's mine, where he's just out here living his life.
Speaker 2: I bet there are like three black guys doing a
Speaker 2: podcast somewhere and.
Speaker 1: Mentioning me once and never again, never again. I bet they.
Speaker 1: I bet one of them got a dog. That'd be cool.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me ask you this. It sounds like, Josh,
Speaker 2: you are a subscriber to us being a simulation.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, oh you're no, you're not bought in.
Speaker 3: No dude, if I if, oh, if I believed it,
Speaker 3: I would be acting a fool right now trying to
Speaker 3: break out.
Speaker 1: My behavior would be so much worse. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, if I, if I thought that I was in
Speaker 3: a simulation, I would start simulating. I would start being like,
Speaker 3: all right, let's see how addictive drugs really are. Maybe
Speaker 3: I can free my mind.
Speaker 2: Right, that's fair. It does challenge one to start making
Speaker 2: some executive decisions about how you're going to behave.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you gotta find out if you're the main
Speaker 3: character or not.
Speaker 2: Damn damn. All right, let's say you are okay, you're
Speaker 2: not bought into this? Are you defiant when people introduce
Speaker 2: this I did to you when you're like at a
Speaker 2: party hanging out and somebody's like, you know, this is
Speaker 2: all fake, this is a ruse. Whatever are how are
Speaker 2: you reacting to the suggestion of this being faked?
Speaker 3: Normally I ask them if they like their life, and
Speaker 3: and if they don't like their life, I ask them
Speaker 3: why they haven't simulated a better one. Because because if
Speaker 3: you because if you, I mean, if you were awake
Speaker 3: to the fact that this is all fake and it's
Speaker 3: all made up, right, Yeah, then if it's all made
Speaker 3: up and you want stuff, shouldn't you be able to
Speaker 3: make up the stuff that you want, whether it's the
Speaker 3: simulation's rules of like hard work or planning or investing
Speaker 3: or whatever, or it's through breaking the rules, which is
Speaker 3: like I'm going to use the the the power of
Speaker 3: my mind to materialize six million dollars by tomorrow. It's
Speaker 3: like one of those two things should work for you.
Speaker 3: You should not believe in this and be broke. This
Speaker 3: is this is why fact, this is why like the
Speaker 3: billionaires who believe it, I'm like, yeah, that's why they
Speaker 3: would believe it. It makes sense that like YA would
Speaker 3: believe that it may like it makes perfect sense that
Speaker 3: YA would believe everything that I said earlier, because this
Speaker 3: dude keeps finding ways to lose as much money as
Speaker 3: possible and then makes it back in one album. That's
Speaker 3: not real life. That should not that by everyone's rules,
Speaker 3: that shouldn't be happening. Sure, And so after a while
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, that's of course you're the person that's
Speaker 3: gonna think this.
Speaker 1: Yeah fake.
Speaker 2: Here's where I sometimes take issue with that, though, is
Speaker 2: the timing of it right, Because I don't think that
Speaker 2: Pink Polo Kanye was believing in the matrix of it all.
Speaker 2: I think he got a billion dollars and then he
Speaker 2: was like, Ah, this shit's probably fake, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Like it becomes a thing that rich people
Speaker 2: absorbed because they become bored and detached, not necessarily because
Speaker 2: they've they started off on this wave and stayed there
Speaker 2: all the way to the end of it.
Speaker 3: I completely agree, because I think the act of being
Speaker 3: new money and making a billion dollars or having a
Speaker 3: billion dollar valuation of anything you created is so bonkers
Speaker 3: that it makes you lose your mind because you're like, guys,
Speaker 3: if I don't read and I have found a billion
Speaker 3: dollars in life and not the end of life, I'm
Speaker 3: not even old and I'm a billionaire and I don't read, y'all, Yeah,
Speaker 3: how did this happen?
Speaker 1: Then?
Speaker 2: Think about those days where like you get a bunch
Speaker 2: of new followers because you just have one of them.
Speaker 2: Days were like a bunch kick in all at once.
Speaker 2: My brain struggles to process that, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: Like like there's.
Speaker 1: Like sixteen people. This is too much power.
Speaker 3: Well I'll pitch you this as an olive branch to
Speaker 3: the people that you think are very very dumb David,
Speaker 3: because I don't.
Speaker 1: Know, I don't think it's dumb. I don't necessarily think
Speaker 1: it's dumb. I totally get it. I just like it's like, well,
Speaker 1: this this is this is like a summer school conversation,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Sure, sure, dumb Adjason, This is a conversation.
Speaker 1: This is at the particle when you should be at work.
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, this is like when you're in
Speaker 3: remedial English and you're.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, you see the that's a smart movie. You
Speaker 1: really see perfect dark because that's what it's based on.
Speaker 3: So this is the one thing that I've seen in
Speaker 3: life that's the most like this that really was happening
Speaker 3: to people is people.
Speaker 1: This is a.
Speaker 3: This is a not necessarily a type ven diagram, but
Speaker 3: it happened more than you would think. Okay, people who
Speaker 3: thought the pandemic was fake, people who thought COVID was
Speaker 3: fake but got COVID but were asymptomatic. Those people going
Speaker 3: through their life were basically like, this thing isn't real.
Speaker 3: Then for whatever reason, they had to get tested. Then
Speaker 3: when they got tested, they felt fine, and then a
Speaker 3: doctor or a nurse said you have COVID and they're
Speaker 3: like what and they're like, yeah, you have it, but
Speaker 3: I feel fine, but yeah, you have it. And then
Speaker 3: they were like okay, and quarantine two weeks so you
Speaker 3: don't give it to anybody else. And they either did
Speaker 3: or didn't do that thing. More than likely they probably
Speaker 3: killed a bunch of people. But let's say they quarantined, right,
Speaker 3: Let's say they quarantined for the two weeks, felt fine
Speaker 3: the whole time, then they left, and then they went
Speaker 3: and got tested again to maybe go to some baby
Speaker 3: shower or whatever to try be responsible. Right, they go
Speaker 3: to the person again, they get tested again, and the
Speaker 3: person and says, you don't have COVID. And now they're like,
Speaker 3: my experience never changed this entire time. And I already
Speaker 3: didn't believe in this thing to begin with. Those people
Speaker 3: that that specific thing happened to, that thought that it
Speaker 3: was a hoax. I still thought some of them were
Speaker 3: very dumb, but I gave them more grace than anybody
Speaker 3: else because other people were getting sick and saying it
Speaker 3: wasn't real.
Speaker 1: Right, those are the worst people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well
Speaker 1: here's what I'll say is.
Speaker 2: And this is going to be a little bit more
Speaker 2: of an extreme take, but I don't think that it's
Speaker 2: healthy for any of us to ever be affirmed. I
Speaker 2: think that we should never be told we're correct about
Speaker 2: nothing ever because of my at some point, we just
Speaker 2: turn into fucking weirdos and dumb dumbs every single time.
Speaker 2: There's not one example of a person who was like
Speaker 2: fully affirmed that didn't like get kind of fucking odd
Speaker 2: afterwards in a way that that just makes it ineffective
Speaker 2: to be human beings around other human beings. So no,
Speaker 2: these stupid motherfuckers who were asymptomatic and don't cannot resolve
Speaker 2: in their head what asymptomatic means for a thing that
Speaker 2: they already consider false are being affirmed in a way
Speaker 2: that destroys the fucking planet killed them. Stop making them
Speaker 2: feel like they were correct about stuff.
Speaker 3: I'll pitch you this because this is the wildest one.
Speaker 3: All right. So my boy that I tour with, right,
Speaker 3: Logan Logan Nielsen, he's who I do my podcast with
Speaker 3: and everything. His girlfriend is a nurse, and he told
Speaker 3: me the craziest thing. He was like, there was basically,
Speaker 3: you know, she was working in the COVID wards and
Speaker 3: and you know what I mean, she was like in
Speaker 3: the thick of it, She's like, I see you, nurse, right,
Speaker 3: And there was basically someone who was dying of complications
Speaker 3: from COVID. And this was when the families, this is
Speaker 3: like in the thick of it, when family couldn't just
Speaker 3: be right there with you. They were calling the husband
Speaker 3: because his wife was dying, right, and calling the husband
Speaker 3: and then they're like, do you want to talk to her?
Speaker 3: Because this is like this might be it? Bro, Like,
Speaker 3: I mean they're they're laying it out as it is right.
Speaker 3: And then this man said it's all in her head.
Speaker 1: Fuck whoa?
Speaker 3: And and that is how committed. Like when when Logan
Speaker 3: told me that, I was like, I was like, what,
Speaker 3: Like he had to tell me the story?
Speaker 1: I think twice.
Speaker 3: I think he had to tell me everything again because.
Speaker 2: You ever find out if if she lived or died,
Speaker 2: what happened to her?
Speaker 3: Does that that's not the issue. Yeah, yeah, I mean
Speaker 3: that's that the fact. But but if he was right,
Speaker 3: do you know what I mean? Like, if she comes
Speaker 3: back home, I didn't. I didn't think I could hear
Speaker 3: a dumber thing than what he said. And then you said,
Speaker 3: came back home with a day.
Speaker 1: He's a if she comes back home, he hisig is
Speaker 1: of Smallville. U s A. I told the bitch I
Speaker 1: was in her head.
Speaker 4: She got out the bed. I didn't come to see
Speaker 4: you because I knew it was fake. Baby girl. Let's
Speaker 4: go get free wings and Applebee's.
Speaker 1: Those are truly the most powerful people, though, dumb people
Speaker 1: who just happened into being correct.
Speaker 4: Because that's what I'm saying. We gotta stop making them
Speaker 4: feel correct, because.
Speaker 1: That's the most dangerous person the most dangerous guy. That's
Speaker 1: a true villain.
Speaker 3: At that point, Yeah, dude, I was shaking.
Speaker 1: I was I was like, hoof, hoof, that's nuts.
Speaker 3: It was. It's one of the worst. It's one of
Speaker 3: the worst. Like cognitive dissonant this world. I don't even
Speaker 3: have anything compared to. Because even people, even people who
Speaker 3: are just straight up racist, right, even people in like
Speaker 3: like neo Nazis or in the clan or something, if
Speaker 3: you really sat them down, they would be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: my grandpa just told me a bunch of stuff, and
Speaker 3: I believe my grandpa because I love them or whatever.
Speaker 3: COVID was new, brandow. It took it took three months
Speaker 3: to break your head. That's that's what kind of blows
Speaker 3: my mind with that, Like racism is so long and
Speaker 3: has such a rich history steeped in actions that people
Speaker 3: got away with that make you feeling bolden, and this
Speaker 3: is like it just happened.
Speaker 2: No, the closest that we had to compare it to
Speaker 2: was the Black Plague. This shit was brand new for us,
Speaker 2: and motherfuckers were.
Speaker 1: Like, Nope, not for me. Nope, I get it. I
Speaker 1: like that. I get it. Oh my goodn't I think
Speaker 1: I see exactly what's going on. I figured this whole
Speaker 1: thing out.
Speaker 2: I think I'm gonna stop washing off my groceries.
Speaker 3: And not to not to fully digress into a different theory,
Speaker 3: but just because you mentioned it, and I'm sure actually
Speaker 3: I probably mentioned it because I brought up But my
Speaker 3: favorite thing that I watched happen was all these people
Speaker 3: who we had made fun of. I even talked about
Speaker 3: in stand up. All these people who we made fun
Speaker 3: of for over a decade for building bunkers and all
Speaker 3: that stuff. Something a global pandemic finally came and then
Speaker 3: they were like, this shit ain't real. It was it
Speaker 3: was actually the bunker people it was. It wasn't like
Speaker 3: do you see what I mean? Like if we the unprepared,
Speaker 3: had been like, no, it's still not the end of
Speaker 3: the world, that would make more sense. But the people
Speaker 3: who always said that something was coming that humanity was
Speaker 3: not ready for, and then something happened and they were like,
Speaker 3: but not this, Like I'm gonna go get a haircut.
Speaker 1: I mean, I think that's that's that's in all of
Speaker 1: our best interests. Though, because had those bunker people acted
Speaker 1: like they thought it was happening, lots of daths.
Speaker 2: Yes, they would, because you know what it is is
Speaker 2: the bunker. People know what it actually takes to open
Speaker 2: up the bunker, you know what.
Speaker 1: I mean, Like they know that.
Speaker 2: Like, man, if I got to open this motherfucker up,
Speaker 2: I'm shooting every motherfucker near me.
Speaker 1: Ah out, unless you're telling me I got to empty
Speaker 1: the clip.
Speaker 2: I am keeping that bitch close. This has to be
Speaker 2: fake because I'm gonna kill everybody.
Speaker 3: No, no, no, because they would be in the bunker.
Speaker 3: They would be in the they wouldn't They could kill
Speaker 3: some people on the way of the bunker that might
Speaker 3: be standing in front of the bunker, but they wouldn't
Speaker 3: come out.
Speaker 1: No, That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: Though, I think they're going to murder everybody within like
Speaker 2: a mile radius.
Speaker 3: Oh I see, I see.
Speaker 1: True.
Speaker 2: They're gonna go on a mission all the things that
Speaker 2: they need, secure a perimeter, and and kill everything that
Speaker 2: lives in between that area.
Speaker 1: Yeah they're not, they're not. They're not hoarding bullets to
Speaker 1: not use them. Yeah, they gotta they gotta kill spray something. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I'm just like I'm thinking of it
Speaker 3: from a way of like I watched Doomsday preppers years
Speaker 3: before the pandemic ever happened, and all of it was like, guys,
Speaker 3: I gotta get out of here. And they had an
Speaker 3: undisclosed location, so I definitely see them killing people on
Speaker 3: the way. But like if it had been let's say,
Speaker 3: COVID wasn't happening and it had been zombies, I don't
Speaker 3: think they would have like come out just to shoot
Speaker 3: zombies for fun. That's like a dystopian movie thing. I
Speaker 3: think that you you finally go ahead and get in
Speaker 3: the bunker and hope you can last for twenty years
Speaker 3: and that all the zombies will like stop moving by Then.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing.
Speaker 2: I think you're you're discounting the first couple days of
Speaker 2: this thing, right that, like, yeah, fair enough.
Speaker 1: In the first.
Speaker 5: Couple of days, the motherfuckers might have opened the door
Speaker 5: and like been in there for a minute, yeahs, And
Speaker 5: then they saw people outside breathing air and they were like, no,
Speaker 5: never mind, I'm not.
Speaker 3: Gonna yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, do you think then,
Speaker 3: do you just just I'm gonna leave bunkers alone In
Speaker 3: a second, but based on who we know of as
Speaker 3: the bunker people, do you think that let's let's say,
Speaker 3: something happens and you really do need to be in
Speaker 3: a bunker or die for like a year and a half, right,
Speaker 3: do you think that after that year and a half
Speaker 3: passes and like the government finds some way to like
Speaker 3: send messages out again and let people know they can
Speaker 3: come out and stuff, and people actually believe it because
Speaker 3: it's like the president or whatever, And we wouldn't have
Speaker 3: let's say it had happened in twenty twenty, we wouldn't
Speaker 3: have the deep fakes we have now, so we probably
Speaker 3: would have believed it if it came on TV. How
Speaker 3: many of those people do you think killed each other
Speaker 3: in the bunker? Do you think that there's anybody left
Speaker 3: to come out because people people will be acting like
Speaker 3: the bunker people amongst themselves don't get into little clicks.
Speaker 1: Right, Oh yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: Like when you follow a militia dude, some of them.
Speaker 3: I've watched documentaries about militias, and some of these dudes
Speaker 3: you can tell there was there was a very funny
Speaker 3: what I was watching where this guy's talking and you
Speaker 3: can tell his lieutenant want to talk, but he could
Speaker 3: just never get a word in. And I'm like that dude,
Speaker 3: if it ever goes down, he's shooting that dude in
Speaker 3: the head first.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the way I it's the way. I like
Speaker 2: what Cory Booker says. But I don't like that motherfucker,
Speaker 2: you know what I mean where it's like I'm in
Speaker 2: the militia, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want nothing to do with this, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean?
Speaker 2: Everybody at you a cup of tea in this ship.
Speaker 1: And so it's just I think, yeah, there's.
Speaker 2: It's very likely that there are people that would have
Speaker 2: would have probably did kill each other in their little
Speaker 2: basement huts, hoping that they could, you know, outlive COVID
Speaker 2: or whatever the next pandemic is that's coming.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because I just see, like you you watch some
Speaker 3: of these disaster movies, especially with a family, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: y'all can keep playing if you want, but like one
Speaker 3: of y'all is not making it out of here. Like
Speaker 3: like in a family of four, somebody is gonna accidentally
Speaker 3: shoot somebody else. It's gonna happen. And if it's not family,
Speaker 3: let it get down to the last Cannaeans.
Speaker 1: You train a lot of family, is it? I thought
Speaker 1: Bunkers was it was usually like family based or like.
Speaker 3: It's supposed to be family based.
Speaker 1: You have to keep it small enough to be sustainable
Speaker 1: for a long time, right, Yeah, yeah, the.
Speaker 3: Militia thing is different. I just mean that, like some
Speaker 3: of the people I've watched in the bunker situation are
Speaker 3: playing the bunk up with people who aren't family So, like,
Speaker 3: straight up, it'll be like it'll be two families of
Speaker 3: three in there. It'll be like my wife and kid,
Speaker 3: his wife and kid, all all of us sharing the bunker.
Speaker 3: Because you gotta remember, only the uber rich have like
Speaker 3: money for a proper bunker. If you if you got
Speaker 3: two middle class incomes for middle class incomes, even you're
Speaker 3: not really building underground like that. You're you're not you're
Speaker 3: not building and pouring cement on on a level that's
Speaker 3: like we're gonna have space.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair. It's not you're saying. These are not
Speaker 2: cartwheel sized bunkers. These are laid flat, flat at the
Speaker 2: bottom of a slave boat bunkers for people to leave.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because when did you graduate? Uh when did you
Speaker 3: graduate college?
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to say uh.
Speaker 2: Quite a bit, and time is going to crud all
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 1: I'm saying.
Speaker 2: When I graduated, your fucking business guy who is objectively
Speaker 2: younger than me.
Speaker 3: How about saying when I graduated college, I only break
Speaker 3: it up because I brought up the price of a bunker, right,
Speaker 3: And when I graduated college was when the world was
Speaker 3: supposed to end. It's when the Mayans were like, we're done.
Speaker 3: So I took out plenty of loans, thinking like, maybe
Speaker 3: maybe I'm gonna learn out those loans.
Speaker 1: Take it out because of you felt this was a
Speaker 1: simulation and that's how you win.
Speaker 3: No, No, I didn't think it was a simulation. I
Speaker 3: was hoping the minds were onto something because it was
Speaker 3: two thousand and eight when I was a freshman, and
Speaker 3: I was like.
Speaker 1: You were like you were like, uh, simulation, that's silly.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: These lions and that look that figured out.
Speaker 3: These Mayans could foresee everything except a white man with
Speaker 3: a gun. They they saw a lot coming and they've
Speaker 3: been right about a lot. And so I was like, man,
Speaker 3: what and that that whole thing brought me to do
Speaker 3: you wonder if there's anybody who invested in a bunker?
Speaker 3: And then twenty twenty happened, But then almost everybody lived.
Speaker 3: Oh so now they're like they even in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 3: they're like, the family's in trouble. You're going into debt.
Speaker 3: The bank is going to take the house. Don't worry.
Speaker 3: Something's coming, baby. Then then they start to hear murmurings
Speaker 3: of like twenty twenty starts happening, COVID starts happening, and
Speaker 3: they're like, Yep, yep, that's what it is.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I promise you girl.
Speaker 3: And then there's a vaccine in twenty twenty one and
Speaker 3: they're like, fuck, I don't mean it.
Speaker 1: Has to even go as deep as in a bunker
Speaker 1: or as long term as that. There's people who are
Speaker 1: trying to make toilet paper moves. Then it didn't work out.
Speaker 1: Two months later, baby.
Speaker 4: My toilet paper boat has finally coming. Yeah, I told
Speaker 4: you someday this was gonna be the real goal. Sterlin silver,
Speaker 4: This Sterlin silvera that Shiman bitch, that's where the money is.
Speaker 1: All Right, we need to take a break. We're gonna
Speaker 1: be we We have I think a lot more to
Speaker 1: unpack inside of this theory.
Speaker 2: We're gonna come back with more Josh Johnson more.
Speaker 1: My mama told me, Yeah.
Speaker 2: We're calling upon you because we have. We have new merch.
Speaker 2: We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
Speaker 2: and it's it's fucking great. We love it so much.
Speaker 1: Just sleek, it's sexy. Come on, you want to tell
Speaker 1: them what we have? Yeah, we have three different types
Speaker 1: of hats, which is really fun. We have a two
Speaker 1: tone hat Alien Dad hat, the traditional logo in black
Speaker 1: and khaki. Then we have the enamel pin with the
Speaker 1: alien who has a coofie on it since my mama
Speaker 1: told me. And then we have t shirts that say
Speaker 1: proud little Mama, which is who you are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
Speaker 2: mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
Speaker 2: brand new name, but it's the same old merch and
Speaker 2: we would love for you to get some if you
Speaker 2: haven't got it already, and we want you to have
Speaker 2: all the sweet stuff, So get it. How did this
Speaker 2: travel begin?
Speaker 1: America? We are back with Josh Johnson and Langston's old
Speaker 1: ass discuss it. Hold on, still got it? You're not
Speaker 1: even old. We're the same age.
Speaker 3: Yeah you're not. You're not old, like yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah you know or something, Yeah, I got kids, Fellas,
Speaker 2: It just hits different once you become responsible for someone
Speaker 2: else's mortality, their their existence in the world. Do you
Speaker 2: start to really feel every ounce of your age?
Speaker 1: What? Yeah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to tell you. Sixteen
Speaker 1: year olds get pregnant. Yeah, there's a whole show. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what they change afterwards.
Speaker 3: No, they don't.
Speaker 1: Show.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't say they get better, Fellas, you're not understanding.
Speaker 1: I didn't say they get better. I could get five
Speaker 1: dudes off hand who got worse.
Speaker 2: They get worse, but they are aware that they could
Speaker 2: die a lot more than they were a second ago,
Speaker 2: I assure you.
Speaker 1: Oh see, I've always been pretty aware I could die, though.
Speaker 1: Were you not a person? Were you not a person?
Speaker 1: You never thought about that? I think I thought about
Speaker 1: it all the time.
Speaker 2: But I think then it sort of puts uh a
Speaker 2: children put a timing on it that it makes a
Speaker 2: little more complicated, do you know what I mean? Like
Speaker 2: my forever now has a distance attached to it in
Speaker 2: a more objective way than it did before.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I feel that it's just hard to take what.
Speaker 2: You're down to by two gentlemen who refused to nut
Speaker 2: in a lady if you.
Speaker 1: Brother until you cowards to load up let's back up.
Speaker 1: I'm shooting up the club. Relax. You think you're special
Speaker 1: until you're willing to load up with intention. You do not.
Speaker 2: Speak to me the way that you're speaking to me now,
Speaker 2: Josh Finisher thought I apologize.
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, No, you just have all your hair and
Speaker 3: you like have like you don't have a look of old.
Speaker 1: It's in his heart, though. That is one thing I
Speaker 1: can confirm I do know about. Like all is it's
Speaker 1: all in eternal. Yeah, externally, he's doing fine. Internally complicated,
Speaker 1: it's torn up in here. Man.
Speaker 2: Okay, all right, Hey, here's what I'll tell you both
Speaker 2: of Your love keeps me young.
Speaker 1: How about that.
Speaker 3: That that's an old thing to say like that, like
Speaker 3: like you, I don't think you were old until that moment.
Speaker 2: Just now, Josh, we Olivia, our wonderful producer, did a
Speaker 2: little bit of research, as it pertains to your conspiracy there,
Speaker 2: and she shared that research with me, thus suggesting that
Speaker 2: I myself did any research. It's a real cool trick
Speaker 2: that we pulled here. But she sent me an article
Speaker 2: from Scientific American, which is that's legit. That's the I
Speaker 2: think that's one of the real ones that we look
Speaker 2: to for research and ship where it's.
Speaker 3: Like scientific America, American, Scientific American. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 3: Science America would have sounded more legit.
Speaker 1: Maybe that's it. Maybe I'm thinking American sounds fake.
Speaker 3: That sounds like the dude who has the theory may
Speaker 3: a website.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it definitely sounds like coming from a sovereign stated
Speaker 1: scientific Americans. I will not concede to.
Speaker 3: This again, Academy Society, But scientific American sounds like one guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair now that I'm saying. Now that you're
Speaker 2: saying it out loud, I feel foolish for having trusted
Speaker 2: him so much. But a gentleman wrote an article where
Speaker 2: he explains that confirmed exclamation point, we live in a simulation.
Speaker 2: And in the article it does a lot of really
Speaker 2: really heavy breaking down of like the logic of the
Speaker 2: simulation or sort of like some of the fun mental
Speaker 2: scientific elements of the simulation, specifically as it relates to processing.
Speaker 2: He says that the the real test of whether or
Speaker 2: not we live in a simulation is the size and
Speaker 2: speed of the processor that it would take for all
Speaker 2: of us to be existing at the rate and clip
Speaker 2: that we are, And basically, does this weird computation breakdown
Speaker 2: of how the speed of light is evidence of that
Speaker 2: processor being large enough, and I don't understand the science
Speaker 2: behind it, but that is the argument.
Speaker 1: Well you scientific American.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm just does this scientific American explain like sleep
Speaker 3: and dreams then in the simulation?
Speaker 1: Uh?
Speaker 2: He doesn't address sleep and dreams specifically, but what he
Speaker 2: does talk about as the second piece of evidence. His
Speaker 2: first piece of evidence is sort of like the speed
Speaker 2: of light being evidence that the process are being large enough.
Speaker 2: The second piece of evidence he points to is what
Speaker 2: he refers to as consciousness. He talks a lot about
Speaker 2: how consciousness in and of itself has no function. You
Speaker 2: existing in the world does not necessarily serve anything, or
Speaker 2: at least, your interpretation of your existence in the world
Speaker 2: does not serve a greater good for the world. It
Speaker 2: is merely a function of being alive. As we understand it.
Speaker 1: It sounds like.
Speaker 3: What you say before you fight someone. These are crazy
Speaker 3: words to say looking at another person.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that your consciousness doesn't matter.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like it's the longest, most drawn out way to say,
Speaker 3: kill yourself.
Speaker 2: So he says that this consciousness serves no purpose unless
Speaker 2: it is being used to basic be the energy source
Speaker 2: for another being, for somebody that is either manipulating us
Speaker 2: and or allowing us to sort of live with our
Speaker 2: consciousness that that then feeds a bigger machine which uses
Speaker 2: that for power or resources or whatever they deem fit.
Speaker 3: Well, this is my thing that I don't get with
Speaker 3: a lot of simulation stuff that really bothers me. I
Speaker 3: don't understand why it always has to be in relation
Speaker 3: to a higher, bigger being, like a God or something.
Speaker 3: I don't understand why it can't just be that we
Speaker 3: are like the rocks are that way because they're that way,
Speaker 3: and the religious people say God made the rocks that
Speaker 3: way on purpose for a reason only God knows, and
Speaker 3: then science says that the rocks ended up that way
Speaker 3: over time because of the natural processes of the world.
Speaker 3: And I think that with these people who believe in
Speaker 3: the simulation, they're still being like, oh, we're like, we're
Speaker 3: like God testing stuff out and then whenever he feels
Speaker 3: like he's got it right, he'll do the real thing
Speaker 3: or something, or we are all all eight billion of us,
Speaker 3: were one God's dream or something, and it's like, why
Speaker 3: does it have to be bigger? Feels weird because then,
Speaker 3: because then you're you don't you aren't explaining anything about
Speaker 3: the higher power that is supposedly what's running the simulation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean smaller. Huh, how to be smaller?
Speaker 3: I'm not saying it was.
Speaker 1: Like if they're because it would have to be like
Speaker 1: it would have to have been made, right, If it's
Speaker 1: like a simulation, that like means there's some sort of
Speaker 1: a maker, So how would it be smaller than us?
Speaker 3: I don't think it would be smaller. I just think
Speaker 3: it could be like a natural process of what existence is.
Speaker 3: It's like, there are things that exist that I never
Speaker 3: think about and I'm and I'm never thinking about them.
Speaker 3: So why are they there? If I'm never thinking about
Speaker 3: them and they're not bigger or smaller than me, they're
Speaker 3: just there.
Speaker 1: That.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there are some I guess theories that I've seen
Speaker 2: that that make it less about each of us being
Speaker 2: plugged in individually and more to your Pete Davidson example,
Speaker 2: us just being like fucking you know, we're gigabytes inside
Speaker 2: of a larger image, a larger sort of like cloth
Speaker 2: of shit inside of one person's head or one being's head.
Speaker 2: But it's not a fucking person and so I think
Speaker 2: in theory what the argument would be is not bigger
Speaker 2: or smaller, but just not one to one. If that
Speaker 2: makes sense that they didn't need to plug eight billion
Speaker 2: of us in, They just needed to plug one dude in,
Speaker 2: and he could imagine eight billion people.
Speaker 3: In a plane. I guess I see how that could
Speaker 3: be a thing. I mean, the more now hearing that
Speaker 3: I believe in everything about this less like like I
Speaker 3: do think, I do think, like actually hearing it from
Speaker 3: someone who has studied something makes it sadly sound a
Speaker 3: bit dumber than when it was just like a pop
Speaker 3: culture take.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I.
Speaker 2: Struggle with this in part because it so easily feels
Speaker 2: just like a person who wanted, specifically a white person,
Speaker 2: who wanted to detach from some level of humanity so
Speaker 2: they could keep rocking the way that they rock, like
Speaker 2: Eli Musk being like this giant champion for us being
Speaker 2: in the simulation feels very much like a dude being like, well,
Speaker 2: I don't want to feel bad about what my family
Speaker 2: did in those diamond minds. So this is all just
Speaker 2: a ruse. There's nothing real here at all.
Speaker 3: I feel like this entire time, David's take has just
Speaker 3: been right, Like I think that this is like I mean,
Speaker 3: but I'm as someone who like I've had people say
Speaker 3: these things to my face and I just sort of
Speaker 3: politely let them talk and then I'd ask them the
Speaker 3: questions I asked. I told you I'd asked them of
Speaker 3: just like, well, are you satisfied with your life? If not,
Speaker 3: why and why don't you just use the fact that
Speaker 3: you know that this is a simulation to change it.
Speaker 3: But I will say this, and maybe this is partially
Speaker 3: maybe I'm too locked in to the matrix to see,
Speaker 3: but everyone that I've ever met that has ever had
Speaker 3: a take like this, that I've actually had the chance
Speaker 3: to talk to in person, did not understand any deeper
Speaker 3: level of what they were talking about other than the
Speaker 3: surface level. Y'all, n this is real. We're in a simulation.
Speaker 3: It's like it's like Andrew Tate doesn't actually have an
Speaker 3: idea of what the matrix is. He just knows the
Speaker 3: police are coming, right, So then you'll notice he always
Speaker 3: says matrix the day before he gets arrested, like whenever
Speaker 3: he's like, damn, where's my thumb dry? I cannot find
Speaker 3: that thumb drive. I bet you I bet you. I'm
Speaker 3: gonna get a call tomorrow. You know what, Let me
Speaker 3: tweet about the matrix for a little while.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great way to not be held accountable. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it truly just feels like that.
Speaker 2: It feels like everybody's skirting accountability by being like, none
Speaker 2: of this is real. You're all falling for a big ruise.
Speaker 2: And it's like, no, man, you actually heard generations of
Speaker 2: people and you're gonna have to reflect in that.
Speaker 3: And you never see the You never see the opposite happen.
Speaker 3: You never see someone who's like made it, who believes
Speaker 3: this is a matrix and it's trying to like break
Speaker 3: through for you.
Speaker 1: Does that make sense what I'm saying, right right, right?
Speaker 1: Because why would they they like, yeah, this is a
Speaker 1: simulation and they hit the top. What do they need
Speaker 1: to help you for?
Speaker 3: Because it might be an MP anyway, you might be
Speaker 3: mister Smith anyway.
Speaker 1: Guess what Morvius was broke? You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Wasn't that was just one jacket?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Them low glasses because those are the ones he
Speaker 1: could afford. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2: That wasn't That wasn't him being fly That was in
Speaker 2: piecing it together?
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's it's it's one of those things where
Speaker 3: I wish it. I think that the notion is like
Speaker 3: interesting right the same way it falls into one of
Speaker 3: the categories of things that I do find interesting even
Speaker 3: though there's no proof. For one is like I don't
Speaker 3: really believe in psychics. I think that there's either too
Speaker 3: many Charlatans or just not enough ways to show that
Speaker 3: you're properly a psychic. Or maybe there's some space time
Speaker 3: continuum stuff that a psychic knows will happen if they interfere,
Speaker 3: so they just don't do it and they just live
Speaker 3: with the horror. Maybe that's it. But there's there's a thing,
Speaker 3: there's a there's a what if question that I really
Speaker 3: enjoy that this normally falls into. It just never seems
Speaker 3: to fall into it with people that I like talking to.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's yeah.
Speaker 3: Because the thing that I pitched someone one time when
Speaker 3: they were like, I don't believe in psychics or whatever.
Speaker 3: I don't believe in premonition or intuition and stuff, and
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay. At the time, Usain Bolt was
Speaker 3: the fastest man on the planet. He was the only
Speaker 3: person on the planet that we knew of that could
Speaker 3: run as fast as he runs. So if there's a
Speaker 3: chance that someone can do something in the physical that
Speaker 3: it that they're the only person in the world that
Speaker 3: can do it out of billions of people, isn't there
Speaker 3: a chance that someone has a level of intuition that
Speaker 3: is so heightened that it that it it almost reeks
Speaker 3: of premonition. And they were like, oh, yeah, made, And
Speaker 3: so I'm like, I'm like, that's that's my only case
Speaker 3: that I make for psychics that I don't even believe
Speaker 3: in really, you know, and I want the matrix to
Speaker 3: almost fall into that. But that's not a point that
Speaker 3: I've seen anybody make. Well, that there are too many
Speaker 3: layers to react, Like there's so many things that can
Speaker 3: happen on top of things that could happen, that I
Speaker 3: should never feel deja vu. Deja vu should not exist
Speaker 3: to that point.
Speaker 2: I was just listening to a daily article actually about
Speaker 2: a lady who's like this super smeller, Like, for whatever reason,
Speaker 2: her and her grandmother and like I assume generations before
Speaker 2: that just have like these insane noses that are so
Speaker 2: precise and intense that she can actually smell Parkinson's that
Speaker 2: like they she for years now has like has like
Speaker 2: effectively like one hundred percent the dog like a fucking
Speaker 2: dog with a hundred percent accuracy, not on some like
Speaker 2: oh sometimes she kind of like can smell it, and
Speaker 2: not only when it's been diagnosed, but years before the diagnosis,
Speaker 2: she can smell you and be like, hey, bro, where's
Speaker 2: mad news?
Speaker 1: What part of you does she sniff to get that
Speaker 1: with good questions?
Speaker 2: Great time to drop smell your dick if you got
Speaker 2: that ready?
Speaker 3: Something going? I mean, okay, First of all, how dare
Speaker 3: this person have this talent and not become a doctor?
Speaker 3: That's that's actually an asshole move when you think about it.
Speaker 3: If you have this talent and you go into accounting,
Speaker 3: you're just the bear of bad news.
Speaker 1: Where yeah, where is she doing it? Like at the fair?
Speaker 2: Like, folks, I meet the amazing smelly lady a while away?
Speaker 1: You there, Michael J. Fox? Care to be a part
Speaker 1: of the show.
Speaker 2: First of all, she discovered this ability because she actually,
Speaker 2: uh and it's fucked up. She smelled it on her husband.
Speaker 2: Her husband started getting Parkinson's and he basically got a
Speaker 2: new odor.
Speaker 1: One day. He was like, see I'm not cheating, I'm
Speaker 1: just sick. I'm about to die, baby girl.
Speaker 3: Can I tell you something that I think right now?
Speaker 3: This is another conspiracy theory based off information I just
Speaker 3: found out. I know facts. I have no basis in science,
Speaker 3: but that's how we live around here. I think that
Speaker 3: she got Parkinson sneezes. I don't think she smelled it
Speaker 3: on people. I think she's given it to people. How
Speaker 3: else is she one hundred percent accurate. I'm not one
Speaker 3: hundred percent actor accurate with stuff that I know how
Speaker 3: to do. Sometimes I trip, Sometimes I trip.
Speaker 1: I'll brush my teeth every day.
Speaker 3: That's a different.
Speaker 1: David. Come on, man, if it's a Sunday and it's
Speaker 1: a plain day, what are we doing? Uh No? But
Speaker 1: what is the situation where she was? She smelled it
Speaker 1: on her husband. She smelled it on her husband.
Speaker 2: She basically starts smelling this new odor on him after
Speaker 2: a certain year, and he also increasingly becomes more and
Speaker 2: more sort of like his personality changes, as it often
Speaker 2: does with Parkinson. Obviously, the standard expectations with Parkinson is
Speaker 2: a shaking, but that's actually only like I think it's
Speaker 2: like fifteen to twenty percent of the cases, and most
Speaker 2: cases of Parkinson's are just you losing mobility and you know,
Speaker 2: obviously control of your body, but it also becomes control
Speaker 2: of certain brain function, and so it he was devolving
Speaker 2: as a person and becoming angrier and more difficult to
Speaker 2: deal with. Ultimately they go to get him diagnosed. They
Speaker 2: discover he has Parkinson's. Then she starts smelling it on
Speaker 2: other people as time goes on, and then through a
Speaker 2: weird sort of like a mix of bumping into the
Speaker 2: right people and sort of trying to explain it to
Speaker 2: doctors that like, this weird correlation exists, a scientist basically
Speaker 2: like hires her as a gun, like a gun for
Speaker 2: hire to be able to diagnose people.
Speaker 3: So then are they going to make a show, like
Speaker 3: are they going to make a shell where she runs
Speaker 3: up on people and sniffs the back of their necks
Speaker 3: like you just got sugned.
Speaker 1: This week on son?
Speaker 2: What meaning we chance to wrap her?
Speaker 3: And whoever she sniffed is just looking at her the
Speaker 3: way you look at a pit bull when it does
Speaker 3: that stomach growl, you know, the growl that pit bulls
Speaker 3: do that deep, it's deeper than a bark. It's like
Speaker 3: other dogs can't do this thing that pit bulls do.
Speaker 3: Pit bulls can go like but it's like it from
Speaker 3: the back of their spine.
Speaker 1: Terrifying. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I the person who wrote the article actually talks about
Speaker 2: the active fear that they felt while meeting with her,
Speaker 2: knowing that she had the ability to smell, you know,
Speaker 2: this permanent because it's not just Parkinson's by the way,
Speaker 2: That's what I was gonna ask for.
Speaker 1: She sees that one.
Speaker 2: She she's able to smell like a number of different
Speaker 2: cancers and distinguished between them. She truly is just like
Speaker 2: this weird person.
Speaker 3: This seems all right, if we're if we're gonna go
Speaker 3: to the world of like Hulu originals, yep, this seems
Speaker 3: like a dog that stood up, Yeah, like a like
Speaker 3: a like a dog that learned how to talk.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And then they're like, oh, that's crazy that I'm like
Speaker 3: a grown woman that can just smell all these diseases
Speaker 3: of people exactly like these canines outside, those dirty dogs.
Speaker 3: Get those dogs away from me. This does those animals.
Speaker 2: It very much feels like if Lifetime starts making silly programming,
Speaker 2: this feels like it's airing into what he means starts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a six sniffer.
Speaker 2: Now they make serious shit right now, Josh, some of
Speaker 2: it is serious.
Speaker 3: But every once in a while they make one where
Speaker 3: a man is so cartoonishly bad. I'm like, look, it's
Speaker 3: on all y'all for not shooting him in the first
Speaker 3: eight minutes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it'll be.
Speaker 3: They'll literally make a mad in the movie in the
Speaker 3: Lifetime movie so bad that no judge in America wouldn't
Speaker 3: call you shooting him in broad daylight self defense, even
Speaker 3: if it was in the back of the head.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they they do.
Speaker 2: They don't follow by no rules of nothing, where like
Speaker 2: there's no character progression. No, it's just it's just a
Speaker 2: handsome dude who don't do nothing but hit And it's like,
Speaker 2: I mean, I think maybe he goes to work sometimes,
Speaker 2: I no, No, he just beats her all day.
Speaker 3: There was there was one where it was it was
Speaker 3: some real bad They might not have been Lifetime, so
Speaker 3: let me not aly on them, but it was a
Speaker 3: movie that was like of that, elk, this dude. I
Speaker 3: don't know why they thought this was a good idea
Speaker 3: to because it was like, not based on true story,
Speaker 3: but they had a stunt in the movie that was
Speaker 3: insane where this dude is running after his partner's run
Speaker 3: out right and and it's leaving him. So then he
Speaker 3: jumps off of the second floor banister onto this like
Speaker 3: dummy that they that they clearly rome before. So they
Speaker 3: try to make it look like he jumped off the
Speaker 3: banster of the land on her. But they clearly threw
Speaker 3: They clearly threw. Yeah, they clearly threw a dummy into
Speaker 3: the shot, and that he tried to break his fall
Speaker 3: on that dummy. And you can tell that no, this
Speaker 3: was like actually fight choreographed at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they didn't work on it. They were just like, hey,
Speaker 1: here's what you're gonna do. You got it all right?
Speaker 3: Because the way that actor fel you can tell that
Speaker 3: the rest of the scene was shot on a different day,
Speaker 3: Like you can tell he hurt himself.
Speaker 2: All right, we're gonna give Steve about a week and
Speaker 2: a half to work the kings out and we'll get
Speaker 2: back at this scene that's so funny. All right, we
Speaker 2: need to take one more break. We're gonna come back
Speaker 2: and we'll wrap up with the little Josh Johnson and more.
Speaker 1: My mama told me.
Speaker 2: We're calling upon you because we have we have new merch.
Speaker 2: We have very exciting merch that we are now selling
Speaker 2: and it's fucking great.
Speaker 1: We love it so much. Just sleek, it's sexy. Come on,
Speaker 1: you want to tell them what we have? Yeah, we
Speaker 1: have three different types of hats, which is really fun.
Speaker 1: We have a two tone hat, an alien dad hat,
Speaker 1: the traditional logo in black and khaki. Then we have
Speaker 1: the enamel pin with an alien who has a coofie
Speaker 1: on it since my mama told me. And then we
Speaker 1: have t shirts that say proud little Mama, which is
Speaker 1: who you are.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can buy the merch now, go to my
Speaker 2: mama told me dot merch table dot com. It's a
Speaker 2: brand new name, but it's the same old merch and
Speaker 2: we would love for you to get some if you
Speaker 2: haven't got it already, and we want you to have
Speaker 2: all the sweet stuff, so get it.
Speaker 3: I'd rather check myself before I wreck myself.
Speaker 1: There it is, there, it is.
Speaker 3: How do y'all feel about like when a young suburban
Speaker 3: white kid uses like slang fully correctly? Though like like
Speaker 3: they like they'll say, they'll say a phrase and the
Speaker 3: phrase couldn't be more on point.
Speaker 1: I feel like it's like when you go to a
Speaker 1: foreign country and you have a terrible accent, but you
Speaker 1: say the right thing. It's like I ain't good for.
Speaker 3: Trying, man.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you have an understanding of it, Like like
Speaker 1: I'm not mad at that at all.
Speaker 3: There was a there was a one time I was
Speaker 3: dude because I live in Bedstine, right and wall Towers,
Speaker 3: just walking around the neighborhood, and there was this little
Speaker 3: kid on a bike with his other friends who are
Speaker 3: on bikes, and then all it's three of them, right,
Speaker 3: three white kids, and then one of them goes the
Speaker 3: ops and a second later, kids from truly out of
Speaker 3: nowhere jumped the ship out of them. Like when I
Speaker 3: tell you this little white boy, this this little white
Speaker 3: child hold up to a to a to a stop
Speaker 3: sign with his friends having a good old American summer,
Speaker 3: and then looked and he didn't gasp, but you could
Speaker 3: tell he had a gasp in him because he just
Speaker 3: goes the ah. And then descending on them were three
Speaker 3: other kids that just started beating ass.
Speaker 1: Black black kids. Were these black kids that beat there?
Speaker 3: They were a mix of kids. Actually one was black,
Speaker 3: but they were they were really truly the rainbow.
Speaker 1: Hey, as long as we're the winners, I'm cool with it.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, I'm rooting for everybody that's black, including the
Speaker 2: little kid fights. That's East's problem. She don't believe enough.
Speaker 2: She's sticking at the entertainment. I do it all the
Speaker 2: time everywhere.
Speaker 3: It is funny to watch like eight year olds fight
Speaker 3: because they can't really hurt each other.
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, it's so funny because when
Speaker 1: you were eight, the stakes were so high, Like I
Speaker 1: remember kids getting their ass beat, and then you see
Speaker 1: eight year olds fight, You're like, I even just push
Speaker 1: them down.
Speaker 3: But that's the thing. It's like you would go home
Speaker 3: like I would get bullied sometimes at school and I
Speaker 3: come home with like a cut lip or something like that,
Speaker 3: and looking back, for as much as I got hit,
Speaker 3: it's kind of weird. I just left with a cut lip.
Speaker 1: It's not it was a boy. It was a little boy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I'm saying little knuckles yeah yeah. But I
Speaker 3: also felt like I was mushy, Like it was one
Speaker 3: of those things where it was like it's it's a
Speaker 3: fail safe in like biology that you can't be all
Speaker 3: hard boned and nine. But like it is just funny
Speaker 3: to me because the way I remember it in my head,
Speaker 3: I was getting my ass whooped for like ten minutes. Yeah,
Speaker 3: but then when I came home, I had a cut
Speaker 3: right on the tip of my lip.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just little soft fellas hitting on your head.
Speaker 1: The apps.
Speaker 2: As it relates to this matrix question, the simulation question.
Speaker 2: One of the feelings that I think I landed on
Speaker 2: and the article sort of attempts to head to by
Speaker 2: the end of it, is the inevitability of it, right that, like,
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, whether the simulation exists
Speaker 2: or it doesn't exist, what seems to be the consensus
Speaker 2: is that we are inevitably stuck inside of it. There
Speaker 2: is no there's no true unplugging in the way that
Speaker 2: the film imagines that we might. And so in that way,
Speaker 2: it almost feels like it doesn't matter if the s
Speaker 2: motherfucker is real or fake, because we are participants no
Speaker 2: matter what.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah that yeah, I think that's what a lot
Speaker 1: of this is is like a lot of it is like, yeah,
Speaker 1: his life's kind of.
Speaker 2: Boring, yeah, or or it's just hard.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just is. It just is.
Speaker 2: And there there may not be some you know, weird
Speaker 2: octopus robot that's you know, secretly dipping you in in
Speaker 2: robot pussy juice so that you can power more machines
Speaker 2: or whatever.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's that's kind of the sentiment that
Speaker 3: I'm that I feel like I started with and why
Speaker 3: I use that fan theory about the matrix. Yeah, and
Speaker 3: how Neil never got out because I feel like the
Speaker 3: solace of believing in this type of thing is that
Speaker 3: it's okay if nothing works out for you.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 3: I mean you know how, you know how like there
Speaker 3: will be someone and I'm really not I'm not picking
Speaker 3: on it in a hacky way. I'm literally just making
Speaker 3: like a one to one example. But you know how
Speaker 3: somebody will like not have their life together but then
Speaker 3: blame the planets. Yep, Oh, but that's not but you,
Speaker 3: whether it's in retrograde or not, you steal. You like
Speaker 3: to steal. Yeah, you should get better at stealing if
Speaker 3: you don't want to get caught and you don't want
Speaker 3: to spend the night in a drunk tank. It has
Speaker 3: nothing to do with retrograde or when it's not in.
Speaker 2: Retro grade, or start off setting the planets, like start
Speaker 2: figuring out a way to like work against whatever this
Speaker 2: planetary alignment that makes you stealing and shit, like you
Speaker 2: can't just keep being a victim of the fucking moon.
Speaker 1: That's yeah, Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 2: The moon just whoops your ass every three days, and
Speaker 2: you just gotta.
Speaker 1: Those people are fun too. I love it when somebody
Speaker 1: does something truly terrible and they're like, I'm just a virgo.
Speaker 1: It's just I can't stop. I'm just a virgo. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, you got so many kids.
Speaker 3: I've never seen it, Just like with the matrix thing,
Speaker 3: I've never seen it work the opposite way. I've only
Speaker 3: seen it excuse bad behavior or be a reason to
Speaker 3: avoid a person. I've never seen it be like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: you know they're a pisce, so you know they're gonna donate.
Speaker 1: Right right.
Speaker 3: I've never heard it like that. I've heard like a
Speaker 3: stay away from his ass. He's an Aquarius, don't mess
Speaker 3: with him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's always a fatal flaw inside of us. That
Speaker 2: that is the signature of our our various lunar diseases.
Speaker 2: I don't know what we're supposed to even call this
Speaker 2: shit anymore.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because you you would think that if it's if
Speaker 3: you're that bad off, it would translate into something pretty
Speaker 3: pretty cool, like okay, maybe you're I'm making this up
Speaker 3: because I don't actually know the stuff. But maybe you're
Speaker 3: a Leo, which means you're full of rage, but it
Speaker 3: also means you're super loyal. You see that in the
Speaker 3: in the stuff. Sometimes you'll be reading the thing and
Speaker 3: people will write stuff like that. But then I'll be like,
Speaker 3: why am I only seeing the two worst aspects?
Speaker 1: Yeah? Right, yay?
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's like you're like, because then when you hear
Speaker 3: people describe themselves, they'll be like, oh, you know, I'm
Speaker 3: a cancer, and so I'm just like this, that, this, that.
Speaker 3: But I also, you know, I feel deeply I'm an EmPATH.
Speaker 3: I'm like, but you're not, though, like I know you yeah, yeah, hey,
Speaker 3: you're not idy of that stuff.
Speaker 1: You have no empathy on me in this conversation because
Speaker 1: I don't want to be here. I hate talking to
Speaker 1: you about this.
Speaker 2: And with astrology being as theoretically advanced as it should
Speaker 2: be at this point, right it's existed as long as
Speaker 2: the stars have existed, you would think we would start
Speaker 2: getting more specific about like the qualities of each person
Speaker 2: in their months and.
Speaker 1: Shit, you know what I mean?
Speaker 3: It should be like yes, yes.
Speaker 2: Oh you you are aries you got a white better dog.
Speaker 2: You gotta you gotta get in there a little better
Speaker 2: than you be getting in there as.
Speaker 3: I'll tell you this right now. The only time I've
Speaker 3: ever been mad for them is when that calendar changed
Speaker 3: or whatever. You remember that, Remember when like like fifteen
Speaker 3: years ago, when they were like, actually, everything's wrong.
Speaker 1: Everybody.
Speaker 3: Everybody's eight days from when they thought they were. And
Speaker 3: that was like, that was tripping people up in life hard.
Speaker 3: Like if you believed in that, it would be like
Speaker 3: if you grew up with the Bible and then out
Speaker 3: of nowhere somebody was like, y'all, I'm so sorry. That's
Speaker 3: our bad. Judas was actually Moses. We messed that one
Speaker 3: up hard. We've been we've been trashing the wrong dude
Speaker 3: for a while.
Speaker 2: You know, y'all been listening to the remix this all time.
Speaker 2: The original is a little different.
Speaker 1: The Ignition remix is in the party song now.
Speaker 2: The original is slow, it's got a sexuality to it.
Speaker 2: It seems like it was no go ahead.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think it seems like none of us believe.
Speaker 1: Is that what you were about to say? Boy? Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it doesn't seem at all like any of
Speaker 2: us are brought into the possibility of the simulation being real.
Speaker 2: And moreover, if I may speak for all of us,
Speaker 2: it seems like we all agree that you could still
Speaker 2: work on being a good person even if you do
Speaker 2: believe in said simulation you do not, that does not
Speaker 2: absolve you from your responsibilities to being kind and decent
Speaker 2: to the people around you, because fuck you, bitch, we
Speaker 2: all in here together.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like that baby is not a simulation. There are
Speaker 3: people that walk out on their whole family. You'll be like,
Speaker 3: you a bot, you NPC. And I tell you, though,
Speaker 3: I will say this, the only thing that I that
Speaker 3: I do take away from it that I know I've
Speaker 3: done in my personal life is that this this is insane,
Speaker 3: This is you're gonna judge me, and it's fine. But
Speaker 3: almost every bad interaction I've had online, I told myself
Speaker 3: they were a bot. That's so.
Speaker 2: WHOA When you say bad interaction, yeah, meaning you are
Speaker 2: you are going back and forth with these people and
Speaker 2: then afterwards being.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 3: Like I'm like like if my head, I'll be like, okay,
Speaker 3: like super mean, unnecessary, not constructive, hurtful comment on my
Speaker 3: stand up that a bot. When I used to use
Speaker 3: tender and they didn't message me back, I'd be like,
Speaker 3: that's a that's about anyway, that's fine. And then and
Speaker 3: then if it's someone who I I might have met
Speaker 3: but I don't remember, I'm like, nah, that that's a bot.
Speaker 3: So someone will be messaging that I'm going back and
Speaker 3: forth with. But if we met once in Chicago, I'm like, nah,
Speaker 3: that's about you.
Speaker 1: Got to keep you safe, you know, Yeah, don't be
Speaker 1: a bot, don't.
Speaker 2: Be about, don't be a bitch, don't be about.
Speaker 3: And don't let the bots keep you down. Okay, just
Speaker 3: because they know personal facts about you doesn't mean that
Speaker 3: they're real. Maybe that leaked on the internet.
Speaker 2: You know, this is great, Josh, could you tell the
Speaker 2: people where they can find you and what cool shit
Speaker 2: you got going on?
Speaker 3: So I'm touring right now around America and next year
Speaker 3: maybe the world. So if you are looking at catch
Speaker 3: up with me on anything, it's Josh Johnson Comedy on TikTok, Instagram,
Speaker 3: and YouTube. I post new sets of stand up every week,
Speaker 3: and I also have a podcast called The Josh Johnson
Speaker 3: Show that you can listen to where Logan and I
Speaker 3: tell stories about our lives and just talk about things
Speaker 3: like the example that I gave earlier. And if you
Speaker 3: go to Josh Johnson Comedy dot com, you can join
Speaker 3: the wait list or let me know what city you
Speaker 3: want me to come to to do stand up stand
Speaker 3: up like the stand up that's on YouTube.
Speaker 2: Hell yeah, that's all you go follow Josh. Go go
Speaker 2: listen to the podcast, join the wait list, bitch, get
Speaker 2: in line, wait.
Speaker 1: Bitch, Bory, what you got? Cool guy? Joke City seven
Speaker 1: on Instagram, Patreon dot com, backslash David Bori go buy
Speaker 1: my special Birth of a Nation with a G or
Speaker 1: without a G. It still might come up. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you turn my name in And that's that's
Speaker 1: the most. And we're going on tour. But you're going
Speaker 1: on tour. Yeah, let's do it now.
Speaker 2: We haven't really announced anything up to this point, but
Speaker 2: we're Bory and I are going on tour this fall.
Speaker 2: It's it's the start the Steal tour.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got the date, I got the dates. You
Speaker 1: onmy real Yeah, let's read some. October twelfth, Detroit at
Speaker 1: the Majestic Theater. October thirteenth, Chicago, The Den, Hollywood, California.
Speaker 1: October seventeenth at the Comedy Store City Winery in Atlanta, Georgia,
Speaker 1: October thirty first, November one, Houston, Texas at the Seeker Group.
Speaker 1: Oh this says Majestic Theater too. This was not right.
Speaker 1: November second, Austin, Texas Folk and Gas Company. November third, Dallas,
Speaker 1: Texas Studio at the Factory, November seventh, Brooklyn, New York
Speaker 1: at the Bellhouse Theater. November eighth, Somerville, Mass Arts at
Speaker 1: the Armory November ninth, Washington, DC the Miracle Theater, November tenth,
Speaker 1: Philadelphia at the Punchline, Philly, November seventeenth, Cobbs Comedy Club,
Speaker 1: San Francisco, California. December fifteenth, Laft Comedy Club, Seattle, Washington.
Speaker 2: And guess what, motherfuckers, there might be some cities add it.
Speaker 2: So if you didn't hear your city named, don't email us.
Speaker 2: There's no way list and we don't want to hear
Speaker 2: from you, but we certainly will let you know if
Speaker 2: we decide to add any more to this motherfucker. But
Speaker 2: most importantly, go buy those tickets. We have a link
Speaker 2: tree up and you can follow me at Langston Kerman
Speaker 2: on all social media platforms. You can watch my special
Speaker 2: It's called Bad poetry. It's on Netflix and it's doing numbers.
Speaker 1: Baby.
Speaker 2: Oh it's no.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody's watched it, but I'm grateful.
Speaker 1: I hope that you will. Me and the dog watched it.
Speaker 1: Oh that's all right. I like that though.
Speaker 2: And if you want to send us your own drops,
Speaker 2: your own conspiracy theories, if you want to prove of
Speaker 2: which part of the matrix my dumb ass is trapped in,
Speaker 2: send it all to Mymama pod at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: We would love to hear from you. By the merch write, subscribe, email, rate, review,
Speaker 2: raw Dog, by Bitch.
Speaker 1: You Raggedy Bitch. My Mama Told.
Speaker 2: Me is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players
Speaker 2: Network and iHeart Podcasts.
Speaker 1: Greet It and hosted by Langston Krek, co hosted by
Speaker 1: David Bori, Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Akilon.
Speaker 1: Co produced by Bee Wayne, edited and engineered by Justin Komon,
Speaker 1: Music by Nick Chambers, artwork by dogon Kreega.
Speaker 2: You can now watch episodes of My Mama Told Me
Speaker 2: on YouTube. Follow at My Mama Told Me and subscribe
Speaker 2: to our channel.