1 00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:09,119 Speaker 1: You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Girl. Hi, everyone, 2 00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 1: welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is about choices 3 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: and how our choices shape who we are today. I 4 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: love sitting down with inspiring guests and talking about what 5 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:27,000 Speaker 1: it really means to put yourself first. You probably know 6 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,080 Speaker 1: my guest from shows like Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, Dexter, 7 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:37,440 Speaker 1: and Defiance, and today we are going to talk about 8 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:43,840 Speaker 1: real life, about resilience, reinvention, and what choosing yourself really 9 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: looks like. Please welcome actress, advocate and all around amazing 10 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:53,880 Speaker 1: woman Julie Ben's to the podcast. Okay, wait, how do 11 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:56,720 Speaker 1: we know each other? To start with? Was our first 12 00:00:56,800 --> 00:00:59,080 Speaker 1: meet like actual meat at a convention? 13 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:00,880 Speaker 2: Yeah? 14 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I thought so, but I honestly, when we met, 15 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,000 Speaker 1: I felt like I'd known you forever. 16 00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 2: Well, I have known you forever because I was a 17 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:10,680 Speaker 2: huge nine fan. 18 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:13,199 Speaker 1: I felt like that, probably because I was a huge 19 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,960 Speaker 1: Dexter fan. So it was just like I was meeting 20 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,959 Speaker 1: my old friend. Yeah that's what it felt like. I 21 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,559 Speaker 1: loved it. How do you how you like and doing 22 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: those conventions? 23 00:01:21,959 --> 00:01:26,200 Speaker 2: Oh god, I've been doing them forever. I love them. 24 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:30,319 Speaker 2: I mean it's it's great to be a part of well, 25 00:01:30,480 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 2: because I started with Buffy and Angel and to be 26 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 2: a part of a show that has such a global 27 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 2: following and that fans come together and they hang out, 28 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 2: they meet, some of them fall in love, get married. 29 00:01:43,120 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 2: I'm now at the stage where little kids that I 30 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 2: met like twenty years ago are now full grown adults. 31 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 2: So they come back and say hi, and I'm like, well, 32 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 2: that's kind of weird, weird, but they're really wonderful. 33 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: But you have a whole that you have a whole 34 00:01:57,360 --> 00:01:58,640 Speaker 1: new generation of fans. 35 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 2: Then yes, yes, And then with Dexter feeds into that. 36 00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 2: It seems like a large part of my career feeds 37 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 2: into the convention life. 38 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: So the vibes at the conventions are so much different 39 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: than I thought they would be, you know. And I 40 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 1: have gotten so much personally, as like from meeting fans 41 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:22,080 Speaker 1: and from hanging out with them. 42 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,079 Speaker 2: Yes, do you feel that way? Yeah, I mean I've 43 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:26,720 Speaker 2: become friends with some of them. 44 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:29,320 Speaker 1: Some things just random I call them friends. 45 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And I think it's just such a 46 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:35,800 Speaker 2: great way to like I always say that it's so 47 00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:37,200 Speaker 2: great to be part of a show where the fans 48 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:40,119 Speaker 2: are just as passionate about the show as we were 49 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 2: making it and to be a part of that world 50 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 2: and have that synergy. And then some people you just 51 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:48,679 Speaker 2: meet and you're just like, hey, you don't want to 52 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,560 Speaker 2: hang out with you? Right? 53 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 1: We could be friends, like, you know, instantly. 54 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,960 Speaker 2: Like there was when I was on Defiance, which was 55 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,119 Speaker 2: a show I did for sci Fi. There we would 56 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:59,520 Speaker 2: live tweet the show and there was a group of 57 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:02,600 Speaker 2: women and that were so snarky and so fun, and 58 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,160 Speaker 2: they would life tweet with us. That I ended up 59 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 2: at dragon Con when you're hosting them in my hotel room, oh, 60 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:12,440 Speaker 2: to watch the finale of the season, and we had 61 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 2: a glass. And I'm still in touch with all of 62 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 2: them and like we're still friends. 63 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:18,680 Speaker 1: I love that. That sounds like something I would totally do, Like, 64 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: come on, guys, let's hang out. Hang out my room 65 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: so lonely. Oh that's so cool. 66 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. 67 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:27,960 Speaker 1: I've made some really good friends and we've gone to 68 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:32,040 Speaker 1: dinners and hang out at Dave's bar and just I 69 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: don't know, I just they're friends, yeah, plain and simple. Yeah, 70 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,280 Speaker 1: But there is that weird like how did the friendship begin? 71 00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:44,240 Speaker 1: Like they were they're super fans, right, you know, and 72 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:48,760 Speaker 1: then they somehow sort of like ease into just being cool, 73 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: like we're friends, we're equals. 74 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,920 Speaker 2: Yes, well, I think also you have to be open 75 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 2: to it. I mean I do see so many actors 76 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 2: at conventions that they don't want to have an experience, 77 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: they don't want to have a connection. I like having 78 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 2: a connection. I like meeting people. I like learning about 79 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 2: other people I like. I think that's one of the 80 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:12,000 Speaker 2: reasons why I'm an actor. So I'm open to having 81 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: a connection. 82 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:15,160 Speaker 1: Yeah, I used to be really shut off to it, 83 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 1: just connections in general. I literally used to walk around 84 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: my head down, my eyes down, never meeting people's gaze, 85 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 1: you know. But I've changed so much now that I 86 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,200 Speaker 1: really like thrive. 87 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 2: But do you think that was because with nine oh 88 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 2: two and oh it was such a global phenomena that 89 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 2: you really couldn't you had to keep your head down. 90 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,920 Speaker 1: I think so. I think I've always just been uncomfortable 91 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: in the spotlight. I've always been like, I just want 92 00:04:47,800 --> 00:04:49,880 Speaker 1: to blend in. I just want to be normal. I'm 93 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 1: from Illinois, like I just I'm not a Hollywood person 94 00:04:53,160 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: at all. So I felt like I had to do 95 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,599 Speaker 1: that in order to sort of like stay in my 96 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:05,040 Speaker 1: comfort bubble. But now I've realized that bubble only existed 97 00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:08,080 Speaker 1: because I was creating it in my head, right, So 98 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: I feel so much more freedom when it comes to 99 00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:13,479 Speaker 1: like connecting with other people and meeting people and just 100 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 1: shooting the shit with, you know, anybody on the street. 101 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm always shocked when people know who I am. 102 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:23,360 Speaker 2: I'm like, how, like, how how do you know? I 103 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:26,640 Speaker 2: don't ever lead with that, So I'm always shocked when 104 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 2: someone is like I'm a huge fan and I'm like, oh, 105 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:33,279 Speaker 2: thank you. That's like so flattering because I don't lead 106 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 2: with that. That's not how I define myself. But you know, 107 00:05:37,480 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 2: like I was at the grocery store the other day 108 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:42,840 Speaker 2: and the guy bagging my groceries was telling me about you. 109 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 2: Just started talking about how he wants to be a 110 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,720 Speaker 2: teacher and how he had finally got out a certification, 111 00:05:47,920 --> 00:05:50,040 Speaker 2: and I was like, wow, I believe in you, like 112 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 2: you're going to do it. And then he was like, 113 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:55,160 Speaker 2: I'm a huge fan. I was like, oh, that's so sweet. 114 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:57,600 Speaker 1: Like it's the best feeling when you can give somebody 115 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:59,600 Speaker 1: that support that they might not be getting in their 116 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:02,800 Speaker 1: real life. And it seems I know, for me, it's 117 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 1: really genuine. But I can tell from you it's really 118 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:05,240 Speaker 1: genuine too. 119 00:06:05,800 --> 00:06:08,200 Speaker 2: Well. I think everybody needs somebody to say I believe 120 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 2: in you. Oh yeah, like I tell every I say 121 00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,839 Speaker 2: it's so much to strangers, and I think it's kind 122 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:17,680 Speaker 2: of like they get taken aback by it, probably, But 123 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:19,919 Speaker 2: I think we all need to be told like, I 124 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,280 Speaker 2: believe in you. I know you're going to do that. 125 00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: It feels good to lift people up. Yeah, I mean 126 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: so much better than the opposite, yea, being closed off 127 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: and like you're better than people like all that. Yeah, 128 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:36,600 Speaker 1: celebrity juice that flows. Okay, I want to talk about 129 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: the beginning because I know you were a competitive figure skater. 130 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,280 Speaker 2: I was, and you started when you were two years old. 131 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 2: Three years old, three. 132 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,839 Speaker 1: Years old, okay, anyway, that's a tiny little person. Yes, 133 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: you were probably super tiny too. 134 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,440 Speaker 2: Yes. So there was an ice rink at the local mall, 135 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 2: and my mom was looking for something that the family 136 00:06:55,240 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 2: could do together, like a family activity. So she took us, 137 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:02,320 Speaker 2: my brother, sister, and I for group lessons. And I'm 138 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,359 Speaker 2: the youngest in the family and my brother and sister. 139 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:09,560 Speaker 2: The group lessons they were like like group one Group 140 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 2: two all the way up till ten, Group ten, and 141 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,400 Speaker 2: my brother and sister moved through those lessons fairly quickly. 142 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,320 Speaker 2: I was in group one for like nine months, and 143 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:22,200 Speaker 2: my mother couldn't figure out why it was because I 144 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 2: was super cute. I was super cute. I had like 145 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,880 Speaker 2: these chubby little cheeks and those like blonde, super blonde hair. 146 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 2: And I thought ice skating was people just push you 147 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 2: around on the ice, because people would they'd be like, oh, 148 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:38,200 Speaker 2: you're so cute, and they would just push me around. 149 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:40,360 Speaker 2: And that's what I thought skating was. I didn't realize 150 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:43,280 Speaker 2: like I had to skate on my own, and so 151 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:48,040 Speaker 2: then my mother put a ban on people pushing me around, 152 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:50,240 Speaker 2: and so so you had to learn. I had to learn. 153 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, you told me a funny story about your mom 154 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:56,600 Speaker 1: loved to go shopping. Yes, we were talking because we're 155 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: both born in nineteen seventy two. Yes, and we were 156 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:01,480 Speaker 1: talking about I don't even know how this came up, 157 00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:05,080 Speaker 1: but leaving your kids in the car. We were talking 158 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,120 Speaker 1: about we didn't use seatbelts when we were little. We 159 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:09,520 Speaker 1: didn't have car seats until we were eight years old. 160 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 1: They do now, and we still survive somehow, Yeah. 161 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,680 Speaker 2: My mom used to leave us in the car and 162 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 2: she'd go shopping in the mall. She was a shopaholic, 163 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 2: and she would leave us in the back of the 164 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,240 Speaker 2: station wagon and we would just entertain ourselves. 165 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah, And I asked you if it was hot, 166 00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: and you're like, well, she left the windows. God, wait, 167 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,080 Speaker 1: so maybe the whole like let's go ice skating at. 168 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 2: The mall at the well also, because she would leave 169 00:08:37,320 --> 00:08:39,800 Speaker 2: us at the rink and then she would go and shop. 170 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:45,480 Speaker 1: The family time, family time. It's so funny. Was that 171 00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:48,120 Speaker 1: your childhood dreamed to be a professional skater? 172 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:50,720 Speaker 2: No, you know, my parents are suckers for your kids 173 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,959 Speaker 2: are so talented. So they really believed that we were 174 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,600 Speaker 2: super talented. And we worked really hard. I mean I 175 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 2: trained eight hours a day, seven days a week, two 176 00:08:59,200 --> 00:08:59,960 Speaker 2: weeks off a year. 177 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,480 Speaker 1: That's incredible. 178 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, from the ages of what from like three until 179 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 2: I officially retired at sixteen. I had an injury at 180 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 2: thirteen and so I had I was off for about 181 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,360 Speaker 2: six months, and so that's when I finally got to 182 00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,559 Speaker 2: experience life and go like, oh wait, I don't know 183 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 2: if this is what I want to do. 184 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 1: And also you're basically giving up your life to do 185 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: that if you're not like super passionate about it. 186 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it was. It wasn't until I was 187 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 2: in college and I was I was in the theater 188 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:39,640 Speaker 2: program and I had a breakdown in class and I 189 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:45,240 Speaker 2: finally admitted and finally I had a like it was 190 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 2: a breakdown revelation moment where I realized, like I didn't 191 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 2: love skating. I was told I loved it. So my 192 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:56,239 Speaker 2: brother and sister, they were junior national ice dance champions. 193 00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 2: They were really good. They loved it. Mother loved it, 194 00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:05,040 Speaker 2: my father loved it. I didn't love. I was the 195 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:08,400 Speaker 2: little kid, like I was the little sister. And I 196 00:10:08,559 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 2: think for me when I when I had that injury, 197 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 2: my mother that's when I had my She exposed me 198 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,280 Speaker 2: to acting because I was off and she knew I 199 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 2: love to perform, which that part is true. She dragged 200 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,440 Speaker 2: me to audition for a play and that's when I 201 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 2: started going like, oh, this feels better. I like this, 202 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:34,320 Speaker 2: this this is something that I really enjoy doing. And 203 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:36,480 Speaker 2: then that's how I shifted into acting. 204 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,440 Speaker 1: That's lucky that you found that at that age. You know, yes, 205 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: a lot of people takes a lot longer than that. Yes, 206 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,719 Speaker 1: I'm curious what was your injury? Because I watch ice 207 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,600 Speaker 1: skating and I hold my breath because that ice looks 208 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,480 Speaker 1: really hard. It is when you're doing crazy things on 209 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:54,160 Speaker 1: like a metal plane. But really, what did you do? 210 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:55,040 Speaker 1: What happened? 211 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 2: So? I had a stress fracture in my to be 212 00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,680 Speaker 2: a bone, and it was because I had a growth 213 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:04,600 Speaker 2: spur and and just from all the jumping, like in 214 00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,720 Speaker 2: the impact landing over time, I had a stress fracture. 215 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 2: But because it was the middle of competition season, you know, 216 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,520 Speaker 2: I was basically told, suck it up, Buttercup, get through 217 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:18,920 Speaker 2: competition season and then we'll take you to the doctor. 218 00:11:19,559 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 2: By that time I went to the doctor, I had 219 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,160 Speaker 2: the stress fracture, had like fractured the whole bone, and 220 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:29,559 Speaker 2: so then I was put in a cast for a 221 00:11:29,559 --> 00:11:32,880 Speaker 2: fairly long period of time. And then when I went back, 222 00:11:33,679 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 2: I couldn't jump as well because of the muscle loss. 223 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 2: So I started ice dancing, which is what my brother 224 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,440 Speaker 2: and sister did. So I met ice dancing. 225 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:47,840 Speaker 1: Less jumping, less sleeping and leaping. Okay, I don't even 226 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 1: know if I've ever seen ice dancing. You have, I have? 227 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:51,439 Speaker 2: You have? 228 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,960 Speaker 1: I just don't know that the difference. I got a 229 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:59,560 Speaker 1: look closer. So that wasn't your childhood dream. It was 230 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: your family's sort of like dream thrust upon. 231 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:07,680 Speaker 2: You, Yes, which I think happens. Yeah, in families, especially 232 00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 2: back then. I think now we're you know, children have 233 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,240 Speaker 2: more of a voice of what they want to do 234 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 2: and more of a say. But you know, in the 235 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:19,920 Speaker 2: seventies and eighties, it was this is what we do. 236 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 2: We are a family of ice skaters. We're all going 237 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:27,160 Speaker 2: to the Olympics. Like that was the plan. And I 238 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:28,760 Speaker 2: was the first one to break the plan. 239 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:29,959 Speaker 1: How did they take that? 240 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 2: They were fine with it. 241 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:31,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. 242 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 2: Actually my mom loved the fact that I wanted to 243 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:38,160 Speaker 2: be an actor. She said she loved that. 244 00:12:38,480 --> 00:12:39,760 Speaker 1: She was like, okay, let's give it. 245 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,360 Speaker 2: So she was the first one to be like, yeah, okay, 246 00:12:43,679 --> 00:12:46,520 Speaker 2: you can pivot, you can do this instead. So yeah, 247 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:49,760 Speaker 2: So from there, you went onto NYU and went to 248 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:52,440 Speaker 2: NYU to study acting. You were at tish I was 249 00:12:52,679 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 2: same place that my oldest daughter went. 250 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:56,880 Speaker 1: I believe I could be completed. 251 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 2: Did she study acting? 252 00:12:57,920 --> 00:13:01,679 Speaker 1: She was actually a gallatint yes, yes, so she was 253 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: in your dorms probably, Yeah, which dorm? Oh care I 254 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:07,960 Speaker 1: can't remember. I have another one, my third daughter going 255 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,240 Speaker 1: into a dorm this fall. 256 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 2: No, no, oh no. 257 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: She's staying local. Thank god, Oh god. But you finished 258 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,560 Speaker 1: at NYU and you pretty much just jumped right into 259 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,000 Speaker 1: your career. Yes, so well in the pavement. 260 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,880 Speaker 2: When I was at NYU, I booked my very first 261 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:29,040 Speaker 2: television series, like my first month of freshman year. 262 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 1: Okay, that's exciting. 263 00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:34,760 Speaker 2: And it was a sitcom that ABC and Nick at 264 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 2: Night were doing. It was called high Honey, I'm Home. 265 00:13:37,559 --> 00:13:41,520 Speaker 2: And they had a rule at NYU that you weren't 266 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:46,439 Speaker 2: supposed to be auditioning professionally your freshman year, and I'm 267 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:50,480 Speaker 2: not a rule follower, so they tried to kick me 268 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 2: out of school. But I had a teacher stand up 269 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,000 Speaker 2: for me and say, you know, if you kick her out, 270 00:13:56,160 --> 00:14:01,040 Speaker 2: I'd quit, and so I was able to stay. I 271 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:04,439 Speaker 2: was given a D for the semester, but no one 272 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 2: has ever asked me my grade point average, so doesn't matter. 273 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,320 Speaker 2: So yeah, so I did the pilot and then that 274 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:13,840 Speaker 2: show got picked up, so I took a semester off 275 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 2: to do the series. 276 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: Was that in New York? 277 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,400 Speaker 2: It shot in Orlando, Florida. Okay, so I took a 278 00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 2: semester off, and I realized at that time it really 279 00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 2: wasn't ready to work professionally. Like I was really struggling. 280 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 2: I was on location, I was with a bunch of 281 00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 2: adults and then some little kids, Like there was nobody 282 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 2: my age to hang out with. I was nineteen, and 283 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:42,040 Speaker 2: it just I was really lonely. I was really struggling, 284 00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:45,960 Speaker 2: and I realized, like, this isn't for me right now 285 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 2: at this point in my life. And so then the 286 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,760 Speaker 2: show got canceled, thank god, and I went back to 287 00:14:50,880 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 2: college and I finished up, and then I moved out 288 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,920 Speaker 2: to La. Ah. 289 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,720 Speaker 1: And did you get an agent right away or how 290 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,440 Speaker 1: did that all kind of about how did the path unfold 291 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:02,680 Speaker 1: for you? 292 00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,280 Speaker 2: Well, I had met my manager, who was my manager 293 00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 2: for thirty some years before until he retired. I met 294 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,960 Speaker 2: him when I was about fourteen years old in Pittsburgh, 295 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:18,320 Speaker 2: and I had been going to New York for auditions 296 00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 2: and so I he moved out to LA a year 297 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 2: before I graduated college. And so then when I graduated, 298 00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 2: he's like, we'll come out to LA and so yeah, 299 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,800 Speaker 2: and then just started I started working right away. 300 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,200 Speaker 1: Did you did you use the Thomas Guide to find 301 00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: your way around town. 302 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: Oh my god. So I moved out in January of 303 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 2: ninety four, two weeks before the earthquake, the big earthquake, 304 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:51,040 Speaker 2: and the ten Freeway had collapsed. Yeah, and I didn't 305 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,600 Speaker 2: know where the ten Freeway was, so I didn't take 306 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,160 Speaker 2: a freeway for a long time because I was too 307 00:15:56,160 --> 00:15:58,560 Speaker 2: afraid I was going to like drive off of it. 308 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: Luckily, you can get around LA without the freeways. 309 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 2: Yes, And I lived in Brentwood at that time, so 310 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,480 Speaker 2: it was fairly convenient. But yeah, that Thomas Guide was 311 00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:12,200 Speaker 2: I just remember having to pull over and like look, 312 00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,440 Speaker 2: like flip through the coordinating. 313 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 1: I have my Thomas Guide, you do. I found it 314 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:22,200 Speaker 1: my mom's house, and it's like a coveted archive piece 315 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:22,480 Speaker 1: for me. 316 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,160 Speaker 2: Well, mine was probably covered in like peanut butter stuff 317 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 2: because I would always eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. 318 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 2: It was like my audition food. 319 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:29,720 Speaker 1: In the car. 320 00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:31,880 Speaker 2: In the car because you'd have like six seven auditions 321 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,760 Speaker 2: a day and you're driving all over town and I'd 322 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,360 Speaker 2: have like little like little snack packs of like peanut 323 00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:41,520 Speaker 2: butter and jelly sandwiches and like crackers and anything. They 324 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 2: keep the energy up. 325 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: And now we don't even have to leave our house 326 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:45,640 Speaker 1: to audition. 327 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:46,440 Speaker 2: I hate it. 328 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: You don't like doing the auditions from home? 329 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 2: I I don't know. I miss the energy I miss. 330 00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,320 Speaker 2: I miss sitting in a waiting room with other actors. 331 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,520 Speaker 2: You do, I do. I miss that camaraderie. I miss 332 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 2: feeling like you're a part of something. It's really hard 333 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:07,440 Speaker 2: for me to audition at home. 334 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:11,479 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's hard to get in the right space. It 335 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:12,399 Speaker 1: is just weird. 336 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 2: It's weird, it's lonely. I find it so lonely and isolating. 337 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:20,919 Speaker 2: I recently had my first in person audition in five years. 338 00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:25,040 Speaker 2: How it was so exciting, Like it was like I 339 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:26,960 Speaker 2: was like, oh, we are back. 340 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:31,639 Speaker 1: That is amazing. I didn't get the part, but you 341 00:17:31,680 --> 00:17:32,639 Speaker 1: had a good time with the audition. 342 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 2: It fed my soul, Like it really fed my soul 343 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,720 Speaker 2: because I was like, maybe now this is a sign 344 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,639 Speaker 2: we'll start getting back into rooms again. 345 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 1: I would love that. 346 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, me too. 347 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 1: I read that an acting coach once told you were 348 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:56,400 Speaker 1: never going to make it in the industry. Yes, okay, 349 00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:01,040 Speaker 1: we've all had you know, people say mean things to us, 350 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,199 Speaker 1: but that's pretty hardcore from somebody that you looked up to. 351 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:08,200 Speaker 1: I'm sure, but how did you turn that negative messaging 352 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 1: into like the fuel that fired you to keep going? 353 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 1: You know? 354 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,919 Speaker 2: So that happened when I did a Carnegie Mellon summer 355 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:19,000 Speaker 2: program the I think it was between junior and senior year. 356 00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 2: It was like an acting program and like you lived 357 00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 2: there and it was like six weeks where they exposed 358 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,720 Speaker 2: you to full on like what it would be like 359 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:32,320 Speaker 2: if you came to Carnegie Mellon And it was one 360 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,480 Speaker 2: of the teachers there, and honestly, in my brain, I 361 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 2: mean I just thought, Wow, what a loser you are, 362 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,680 Speaker 2: like telling a sixteen year old that you'll never make 363 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 2: it in this industry and and you're not even working. Really, 364 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 2: you're teaching act yet. 365 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:52,119 Speaker 1: Right, What did you do when he like when he 366 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,000 Speaker 1: said that, it was she Well, what did you do 367 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 1: when she said that? To your face? 368 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:00,440 Speaker 2: I mean I just looked at her and I was like, well, 369 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 2: that's your opinion, and that's not everybody else's opinion. 370 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:04,119 Speaker 1: I have. 371 00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,440 Speaker 2: Like I had a manager an agent in New York, 372 00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:10,159 Speaker 2: so I was like, I go to New York for auditions, Like, 373 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,040 Speaker 2: what do you do? I had a big bigo. 374 00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, but it sounds like you had to stand 375 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: up for yourself. 376 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:21,720 Speaker 2: Yes, And I think she was the voice teacher, like 377 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,719 Speaker 2: the speaking voice teacher, and she just thought my voice 378 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:29,960 Speaker 2: was awful. And I remember my manager saying to me, 379 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 2: he said, well, sometimes the thing that makes you unique 380 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:36,040 Speaker 2: is also the thing that makes people not like you. 381 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,439 Speaker 2: And he goes, you do have a very unique voice, 382 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:44,960 Speaker 2: so that's what makes you different than somebody else. So 383 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,239 Speaker 2: it's okay, and some people aren't gonna like it, and 384 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:53,680 Speaker 2: that's okay. So but I still have the report card 385 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:58,200 Speaker 2: from her. I still keep it just as a reminder 386 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:03,400 Speaker 2: that I had, I had the nerve at that age 387 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,560 Speaker 2: to kind of stand up for myself. But I've always 388 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:09,360 Speaker 2: you know, I feel like i've I think in order 389 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:12,960 Speaker 2: when you come from the Midwest and you want you're 390 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,159 Speaker 2: not born into the industry and you want to be 391 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 2: an actor, everybody tells you, good luck, honey, you're not 392 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 2: gonna make it. Yeah, So I think there is a 393 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:29,719 Speaker 2: bit of that youthful belief in yourself, the ego that 394 00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:31,560 Speaker 2: comes out and says I'm going to prove you wrong. 395 00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:32,679 Speaker 2: You know. 396 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,199 Speaker 1: Do you think that has carried with you in your 397 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,720 Speaker 1: adult life? Like until now, do you have that streak 398 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:39,760 Speaker 1: within you still. 399 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:48,800 Speaker 2: Oh, definitely, definitely. I still I mean, I still think 400 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 2: like I'm the only one for the part. 401 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,720 Speaker 1: I still feel that that's a really good mindset, Like 402 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:59,560 Speaker 1: that's incredible, and it's not a fake confidence. 403 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,679 Speaker 2: I mean I do always say like why not me? Like, 404 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,840 Speaker 2: if you're going to choose somebody, then why not choose me. 405 00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:08,960 Speaker 2: You know, I'm a hard worker. I've you know, I 406 00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,840 Speaker 2: work very very hard at my job. I show up 407 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,639 Speaker 2: on time, I'm prepared, I always have a good, good energy, 408 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,600 Speaker 2: good spirit, Like why not me? 409 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,639 Speaker 1: So that's the best thing you can say to yourself. 410 00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: Why not? Yeah, with any obstacle that you're coming up 411 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,040 Speaker 1: against in your life. Yes, And I didn't really start 412 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:31,920 Speaker 1: thinking that until I was in my fifties. 413 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:32,639 Speaker 2: Wow. 414 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:36,719 Speaker 1: Yeah. And it took me. It was really hard for 415 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,600 Speaker 1: me to get there because I was so full of 416 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 1: self doubt and so full of insecurities, and you know, 417 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 1: just had let the business sort of have its way 418 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,359 Speaker 1: with my mind and my soul. 419 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, until I was like, no, well, you were under 420 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:55,280 Speaker 2: a microscope. I've never been. I've never been. I've never 421 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:59,080 Speaker 2: experienced that, like I've never I've been a part of 422 00:21:59,119 --> 00:22:02,200 Speaker 2: some great shows yes, but I've never been like under 423 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,359 Speaker 2: a microscope like I've always felt I've been able to 424 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:10,840 Speaker 2: keep my personal life and my work separate and keep everything, 425 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 2: you know, separate, normal, and I was never I mean, 426 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:24,520 Speaker 2: the level of fame that you reached very quickly was astounding. 427 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:25,840 Speaker 2: I mean that's once in a lifetime. 428 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:30,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that was a wild ride. Yeah, so it definitely 429 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: had an impact on my development in a lot of ways. Yes, 430 00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:36,119 Speaker 1: but you said you're from the Midwest. Yes, I think 431 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: that there's something about the grit of a Midwestern Yeah. 432 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,040 Speaker 1: Do you feel that too. 433 00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:49,640 Speaker 2: Oh, totally totally. Like there's nothing wrong with nepotism at all. 434 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,879 Speaker 2: And I love like, I love like, I understand it. 435 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,000 Speaker 1: I see why not? 436 00:22:54,240 --> 00:22:56,720 Speaker 2: Why not? Right? If I had kids, I'd be like 437 00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:01,879 Speaker 2: why not? If I can help you, why not? But 438 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 2: for me to like, I just feel like coming from 439 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:09,360 Speaker 2: Pittsburgh where I didn't know any other actors and I 440 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:13,359 Speaker 2: had to like forge my way and like and just 441 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,239 Speaker 2: be like, I'm going to do this no matter what, Like, 442 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:19,399 Speaker 2: this is what I'm doing and I'm either going to 443 00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:23,440 Speaker 2: sink or swim, like that's it. Those are the two options. 444 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 2: So I'm going to choose to swim that I feel 445 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,800 Speaker 2: that I still have that in me. 446 00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:36,919 Speaker 1: I think that's such an incredible trait, you know. I 447 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,760 Speaker 1: think it's it says a lot about who you are. 448 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,800 Speaker 1: And also we were talking earlier also about your driving style, 449 00:23:44,080 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 1: which is now I'm getting. 450 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 2: A little bit of a contradictory message because you said, 451 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,120 Speaker 2: I know I'm slow and steady, you're the slow lane. 452 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:53,160 Speaker 1: Kind of got I'm in the fast lane. 453 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:55,720 Speaker 2: Like, yeah, yeah, I'm slow and steady. I'm a Taurus, 454 00:23:56,040 --> 00:23:59,639 Speaker 2: like you know, I'm a tourist, very very like you 455 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 2: get that when you get there, give yourself enough time 456 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 2: to get there. You don't need to speed. I don't 457 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,520 Speaker 2: need to show off, right, I know. 458 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 1: I think that was younger me, like it was like 459 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: I am a crazy la driver now, but I've gotten 460 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 1: a little bit more mellow, And I think my husband 461 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,399 Speaker 1: Dave has really helped me with that because he's like 462 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 1: an eighty year old man in the body and in 463 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,280 Speaker 1: all of his life, and he drives really slow. So 464 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,520 Speaker 1: I kind of find it so comforting that I started 465 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:26,439 Speaker 1: to adopt it. 466 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just slow and steady, you know. I also 467 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,080 Speaker 2: I was in a lot of car accidents as a kid. 468 00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:33,840 Speaker 2: Because my mother was a terrible driver. 469 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 1: So wait, how many like roughly? 470 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:38,400 Speaker 2: Oh my god? 471 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,000 Speaker 1: And are we talking like fender benders? 472 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 2: Are we talking no major like where the car was totaled? 473 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 2: Oh no, yeah, yeah she was not. She didn't learn 474 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,000 Speaker 2: to drive until she was thirty years old. 475 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,320 Speaker 1: I mean she should have waited a little longer. Maybe 476 00:24:56,359 --> 00:25:00,000 Speaker 1: she should have started earlier. That is crazy. 477 00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,399 Speaker 2: But yeah, so that we had a couple. I was 478 00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 2: in a couple of massive car accidents. I mean two 479 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 2: of them I was in the hospital for because I 480 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,000 Speaker 2: had like massive concussion and whiplash. And so I think 481 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,360 Speaker 2: when you have experienced car accidents on that level, you 482 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:16,760 Speaker 2: just kind of go like, you know what, I'm gonna 483 00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:20,440 Speaker 2: take the granny lane. I'm perfectly happy in the granny lane. 484 00:25:20,480 --> 00:25:22,000 Speaker 1: I'm gonna think of you now when I'm in the 485 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:26,000 Speaker 1: granny lane. I'm gonna enjoy it. Be like this is 486 00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:30,200 Speaker 1: something that works for her. We talk a lot about 487 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:34,959 Speaker 1: learning to choose ourselves on this podcast. When would you 488 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: say you started to first consciously think about the importance 489 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,080 Speaker 1: of choosing yourself, the importance of self care. 490 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:52,760 Speaker 2: M I mean, I really think up until I got 491 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:59,639 Speaker 2: divorced from my first husband I was. I mean, I 492 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,760 Speaker 2: was very motivated and set on my path of what 493 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:05,400 Speaker 2: I wanted to do, but the rest of my life 494 00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 2: I was kind of just going along with everybody else. 495 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,520 Speaker 1: How old were you when you got divorced? 496 00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:17,840 Speaker 2: I was thirty four, and had you been married twenty four? 497 00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,880 Speaker 2: I got married too, so you were married at twenty four. Yeah. 498 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 2: And I remember hearing Terry Hatcher had written a book 499 00:26:27,119 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 2: and I can't remember the title, but something about eating 500 00:26:29,400 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 2: the burnt toast. And I remember seeing her on the 501 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,840 Speaker 2: view talking about it and about how women take the 502 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 2: burnt toast. And that's when I realized, like, that's what 503 00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,119 Speaker 2: I was doing in my marriage. I was taking the 504 00:26:41,119 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 2: burnt toast, the burnt piece of toast, every single time. 505 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:51,280 Speaker 2: And I really started. I was struggling, obviously in the marriage, 506 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:55,359 Speaker 2: and I ended up filing for divorce because I was like, 507 00:26:55,440 --> 00:27:00,879 Speaker 2: I can't do this anymore. I'm losing myself. Who I am, 508 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 2: I'm not being I'm not able to grow, not able 509 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:07,479 Speaker 2: to become a grown up. I had married somebody older, 510 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:11,800 Speaker 2: and he's a lovely man. It's just the dynamic just 511 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:15,560 Speaker 2: wasn't working. And I think for me that was the 512 00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:19,280 Speaker 2: first time I really like chose myself was deciding to 513 00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:23,119 Speaker 2: get divorced, because it was I grew up in a 514 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:26,680 Speaker 2: very devout Catholic family. Divorce was very much looked down upon, 515 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,160 Speaker 2: and I never thought like, I didn't get married thinking 516 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:38,439 Speaker 2: I would get divorced. So it was it was a 517 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 2: very difficult decision. But I honestly felt like I was suffocating, 518 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:46,440 Speaker 2: Like I felt like I was just I couldn't breathe, 519 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,959 Speaker 2: you know. And then I would go on location and 520 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 2: I would smoke cigarettes and drink and like all this 521 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,920 Speaker 2: bad behavior, and I like and be like, why did 522 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,399 Speaker 2: I why Why do I feel like? Why am I 523 00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:02,720 Speaker 2: acting like this? And I was like, it's because I'm 524 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:08,919 Speaker 2: not able to just be me. So that was like, 525 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:10,320 Speaker 2: really the first time. 526 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,159 Speaker 1: That's good, that's you know, that's a significant moment in 527 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:16,760 Speaker 1: your life and so important in that time when you 528 00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 1: realized I have got to take care of myself in 529 00:28:19,359 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 1: a different way. Yes, yes, how do you I know 530 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,439 Speaker 1: we follow each other on social media? How do you 531 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: like social media? What do you think of it? We 532 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:35,160 Speaker 1: were saying before we're instagram we. 533 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:41,960 Speaker 2: Are instam instagrammys, instagrammy, your instagrammys. 534 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: I love it? Did you just come up I do. 535 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:48,120 Speaker 2: I love Instagram. 536 00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 1: You're not a TikToker. 537 00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:59,280 Speaker 2: I've tried the TikTok. I've tried it. You know, it's 538 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,000 Speaker 2: just it's a time suck. 539 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 1: It just it just feels like it's killing your brain cells. 540 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:12,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's too much information. It's like it's addictive. And 541 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:17,240 Speaker 2: I for me, like during the pandemic, it was recommended 542 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 2: that I try the TikTok and I did a couple 543 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 2: videos and it was super cute. 544 00:29:21,880 --> 00:29:23,479 Speaker 1: Are you dancing? Did you do the dancing? 545 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 2: I did one dancing. My husband said he was like, 546 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:31,320 Speaker 2: if you do the TikTok, you're not allowed to dance, 547 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,520 Speaker 2: and so because he was like, please, don't be that lady, 548 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:36,880 Speaker 2: like please. 549 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:39,760 Speaker 1: And so what if you want? By the way, but. 550 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 2: I did the one. I did it once and it 551 00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:45,320 Speaker 2: was super funny and cute, and then I did I 552 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 2: did a lot of lip syncing videos which were a 553 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,600 Speaker 2: lot of fun. And then I did a couple other 554 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:56,680 Speaker 2: videos and some of them went viral, which was great. 555 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,840 Speaker 2: But I just was like, it takes too much time 556 00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:05,360 Speaker 2: to like film it, edit it, come up with the idea, 557 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:08,720 Speaker 2: do the sound, do that. It was like too much, 558 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:09,240 Speaker 2: So I. 559 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:11,160 Speaker 1: Mean that's why kids go to college and major in 560 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,560 Speaker 1: it now, I know, because of people. 561 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:16,440 Speaker 2: Like us, because we don't know how to do it. No. 562 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,160 Speaker 1: I think it's definitely like there's such a so much 563 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,920 Speaker 1: significance in like the younger generation. We're basically our moms 564 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:28,120 Speaker 1: now and we're looking at what we were and thinking, Oh, 565 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,920 Speaker 1: the kids these days, what they what they can do. 566 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,000 Speaker 1: But I think they're just they're used to it in 567 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:38,560 Speaker 1: a way that doesn't they don't feel like it's robbing 568 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:39,520 Speaker 1: them of their life. 569 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 2: I know. I know. I don't know if that's a 570 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:44,600 Speaker 2: good thing or bad, but I feel like it it 571 00:30:44,600 --> 00:30:46,080 Speaker 2: affects your attention span. 572 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:52,240 Speaker 1: Uh yeah, so my kids can literally, like especially my 573 00:30:52,360 --> 00:30:55,520 Speaker 1: youngest who's eighteen, who is really in the TikTok generation, 574 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,880 Speaker 1: It's like you've got three seconds with her, yeah, before 575 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:04,200 Speaker 1: she's onto something else, not listening to you, already talking 576 00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:06,160 Speaker 1: about something else, thinking about what she's going to talk about. 577 00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:08,400 Speaker 1: It's so worrisome. 578 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's what I noticed. It was happening to 579 00:31:12,040 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 2: me when I was doing it. It sounds like a drug. 580 00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was on the TikTok. 581 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:20,719 Speaker 2: I was on the TikTok. I couldn't read books anymore 582 00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 2: because like my focus was gone, and I didn't like that, right, 583 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,040 Speaker 2: because I love to read. I love to just sit 584 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:31,640 Speaker 2: and focus and read a book and just be in 585 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 2: a whole other world. And I found that, you know, 586 00:31:35,240 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 2: just the scrolling even now, it's even still with Instagram, 587 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:42,320 Speaker 2: Like I have to keep my scrolling in check me too, 588 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,480 Speaker 2: because I'm like, why am I sitting here doing this 589 00:31:45,560 --> 00:31:48,080 Speaker 2: when I have a really great book sitting next to 590 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 2: my bed that I could go read. 591 00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll get sucked in, Like I'll go to look 592 00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:53,479 Speaker 1: at something and then I'll just get sucked in and 593 00:31:53,520 --> 00:31:55,440 Speaker 1: then five minutes I'm like, oh my god, hate myself 594 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,920 Speaker 1: right now, Like put that phone down. Yeah, this is too, 595 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:02,520 Speaker 1: it's too. It takes over your brain in the weirdest way. 596 00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:03,800 Speaker 1: I don't know how it does it. 597 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 2: And I get influenced very easily. For me too, I'm like, oh, 598 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:08,920 Speaker 2: I want to buy that shirt, I want that mask 599 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,240 Speaker 2: and care I want that I. 600 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:18,800 Speaker 1: Need not everything, everything, saw anything. I will buy anything 601 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:22,440 Speaker 1: basically on TikTok if it's a cool, if it looks great. 602 00:32:22,760 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 2: Listen, if you are on there saying that you use something, 603 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,280 Speaker 2: I am like Jenny, I'm buying it right now. 604 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: I know I'm very selective about the things that I 605 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:36,000 Speaker 1: promote because I know how influential it can be. And 606 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,520 Speaker 1: I don't want to be like buy all these crappy 607 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:42,000 Speaker 1: things right to take it very seriously. I don't want 608 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,760 Speaker 1: to be responsible for people going bankrupt having just stuff 609 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:51,520 Speaker 1: they don't need. How do you stay grounded and in 610 00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 1: touch with your sense of self or your self worth? 611 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:59,080 Speaker 1: Even like it is it through those times of like 612 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:02,719 Speaker 1: I'm going to read book, I'm gonna just sit here 613 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 1: quietly and you know, be in my own world for 614 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:07,479 Speaker 1: a minute, Like what do you how do you do 615 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,440 Speaker 1: it well? 616 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,960 Speaker 2: I mean I really I think I get myself worth 617 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 2: from being a good person and being a good friend 618 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:25,880 Speaker 2: two people. I mean, in some ways, it's being in 619 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:32,200 Speaker 2: service of others and trying to help out where others 620 00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:34,440 Speaker 2: might be like my friends might be failing in one 621 00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 2: area of their life. Like like I had one of 622 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,720 Speaker 2: my close friends she's a mom of four kids, and 623 00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:43,480 Speaker 2: like helping out with the kids when her life gets 624 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:52,239 Speaker 2: too busy, and and just helping other people. And my 625 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 2: love language is cooking for others. Like that's really to me, 626 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,760 Speaker 2: it's very intimate, like if I were to have you 627 00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 2: over and make you dinner, it's like a very like. 628 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:05,400 Speaker 2: It's it's how I express like my love and friendship 629 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,440 Speaker 2: to people. Is like, I'm going to cook for you. 630 00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:08,840 Speaker 2: I like that, So. 631 00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:10,800 Speaker 1: You can cook for me anytime. 632 00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:12,440 Speaker 2: You want to come over, I'll cook for you. 633 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:15,439 Speaker 1: No one ever cooks for me. My oldest daughter's cooked 634 00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,120 Speaker 1: for me, and that's about it. My husband orders for 635 00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:20,680 Speaker 1: me right, which I appreciate too. 636 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:22,920 Speaker 2: No one cooks for me ever. 637 00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,480 Speaker 1: Would you like somebody to cook for you? 638 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:27,440 Speaker 2: No, I enjoy it. 639 00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 1: I like to do it. 640 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,640 Speaker 2: I love being in the kitchen. I mean I I 641 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,640 Speaker 2: enjoy it. It's it's a creative outlet for me, and 642 00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 2: it's especially helpful during the times when work is slow. 643 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:42,680 Speaker 2: I start getting creative in the kitchen. You know, I 644 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:43,680 Speaker 2: wish I filmed it. 645 00:34:43,600 --> 00:34:47,279 Speaker 1: More, but it kind of pulls you out of it. 646 00:34:47,400 --> 00:34:48,280 Speaker 2: It's too hard. 647 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:54,880 Speaker 1: Again, President, I forget. I'll forget. I forget like steps 648 00:34:54,920 --> 00:34:56,840 Speaker 1: one through five, and you're like, oh, no, yeah, I 649 00:34:56,880 --> 00:34:57,640 Speaker 1: gotta do that again. 650 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:04,240 Speaker 2: Is so true. 651 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,360 Speaker 1: I read that you said you love to cook and clean. 652 00:35:10,719 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 1: I do chores. 653 00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,759 Speaker 2: I do. I was like my sister, I do I 654 00:35:14,840 --> 00:35:17,359 Speaker 2: love doing chores. I love it. 655 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,600 Speaker 1: What's your favorite chore? 656 00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,360 Speaker 2: I love vacuuming and mopping my floors. 657 00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: Vacuuming is so like meditation. 658 00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,799 Speaker 2: Oh, it's so relaxing, and people hate it, I know, 659 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 2: and I love it. 660 00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 1: I I what kind of vacuum do you have? 661 00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:33,399 Speaker 2: Oh? 662 00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:36,080 Speaker 1: I have like just it's a stick vacuum, like a 663 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:38,520 Speaker 1: you know, yeah, like a cordless. 664 00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,839 Speaker 2: A cordless That's the way I love it. And then 665 00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:44,120 Speaker 2: I love to mop my floor because my house is 666 00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 2: mid century and I have these giant windows and you 667 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 2: can see any dirt on the floor and it drives 668 00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 2: me up a wall. And I've got big dogs that 669 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 2: go in the pool and then come running in the 670 00:35:55,600 --> 00:35:59,160 Speaker 2: house with wet feet, and so I'm probably vacuuming and 671 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,439 Speaker 2: mopping like every other day. 672 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:03,520 Speaker 1: Okay, wait, this is going to be really boring to 673 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:05,520 Speaker 1: some people. But how do you mop? Because I want 674 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:07,520 Speaker 1: to be better mopping. I want to be better mopper. 675 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:09,040 Speaker 2: You want to be a better mobb per too. 676 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:09,680 Speaker 1: It's like a goal. 677 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 2: Well, I use the banaa the spray spray, and then 678 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,160 Speaker 2: I just swish it around because you don't want to 679 00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:17,840 Speaker 2: put too much water on a wood floor. 680 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:20,240 Speaker 1: Right, But do you ever feel like you're just squishing 681 00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,879 Speaker 1: around like the dirt and like, oh no, it all 682 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,600 Speaker 1: comes up, it goes on the thing, it goes. 683 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:25,120 Speaker 2: On the pad. 684 00:36:25,239 --> 00:36:28,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, God, I'm going to break out my Bona 685 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,760 Speaker 1: on floor cleaner kit. I know I have one. 686 00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:31,959 Speaker 2: Fwhere it's the best thing. 687 00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:37,919 Speaker 1: I'm going to get it. Okay. So have we talked 688 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:40,200 Speaker 1: about the fact I think we have that my husband 689 00:36:40,239 --> 00:36:44,400 Speaker 1: was at your wedding? Yes, your parent husband, Yes, he 690 00:36:44,600 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 1: was someone's date. I think your makeup artist. 691 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:49,000 Speaker 2: Yes, Kels Kelsey. 692 00:36:49,360 --> 00:36:51,440 Speaker 1: Yes, they used to be really good friends. 693 00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 2: Did he have a good time at the wedding? 694 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:53,960 Speaker 1: He said he had a blast. 695 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,440 Speaker 2: It was a great wedding. I'm going to it was 696 00:36:56,520 --> 00:37:00,759 Speaker 2: an amazing wedding. Lest still talk about it. And it 697 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:01,919 Speaker 2: was thirteen years ago. 698 00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,680 Speaker 1: I mean it must have been good that your marriage 699 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:08,480 Speaker 1: is still thriving after thirteen years. Like that's a symbolic thing, 700 00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: like when you have a great wedding, Yeah, and everybody's 701 00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:12,480 Speaker 1: happy and. 702 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,520 Speaker 2: Well, you know, I didn't really want to have a 703 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:17,280 Speaker 2: wedding like I wasn't because I had a big wedding 704 00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 2: and I was kind of leaning towards like, let's elope, 705 00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:28,440 Speaker 2: But my husband had never been married before and then 706 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,880 Speaker 2: and it wasn't that he wanted a big wedding. It 707 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:35,120 Speaker 2: was just that we wanted to celebrate all the people 708 00:37:35,160 --> 00:37:40,080 Speaker 2: that helped get us to this amazing point in our 709 00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:45,080 Speaker 2: relationship together. And so that's how we looked at it 710 00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,160 Speaker 2: as was it was a celebration of all the people 711 00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:51,719 Speaker 2: that were there who were a part of getting us 712 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:57,040 Speaker 2: to Yeah, this stage, it takes a village, and it 713 00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:01,160 Speaker 2: did for us because we neither one of us. We 714 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:04,000 Speaker 2: weren't looking for a relationship when we first started dating. 715 00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:05,000 Speaker 1: How did you guys meet? 716 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:09,239 Speaker 2: I was we were set up to have a one 717 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:13,200 Speaker 2: night stand, a one night stand. 718 00:38:13,360 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 1: It turned into thirteen years of one night. 719 00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 2: Stand, yeah, eighteen if you could count. Yeah, so it 720 00:38:21,400 --> 00:38:23,279 Speaker 2: and it took us a while to even admit we 721 00:38:23,280 --> 00:38:25,920 Speaker 2: were dating. We were like, no, we're just looking up. 722 00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:34,560 Speaker 2: We weren't looking for a relationship. So it really kind 723 00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:40,839 Speaker 2: of happened organically our relationship and for us, it was 724 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:43,440 Speaker 2: just so great to be able to celebrate like all 725 00:38:43,480 --> 00:38:46,640 Speaker 2: the people in our lives. And we had it at 726 00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:48,600 Speaker 2: the Soden House, which. 727 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:50,279 Speaker 1: I heard all about it. By the way, A. 728 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 2: Beautiful home, not a typical wedding venue, which is what 729 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:57,880 Speaker 2: I want, Which that's what I imagined. I was like, 730 00:38:57,960 --> 00:39:02,400 Speaker 2: I don't want I don't want the all the church 731 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:05,600 Speaker 2: and this and then that I had that. I went 732 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,880 Speaker 2: something that is more like a swanky Hollywood party, and 733 00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 2: that's exactly what it was. 734 00:39:10,480 --> 00:39:12,600 Speaker 1: That sounds like fun. I wish I was there. I 735 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:18,680 Speaker 1: know we'll get married again. The vow things your vows. 736 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:19,560 Speaker 1: I want to do that. 737 00:39:19,640 --> 00:39:21,719 Speaker 2: I want to do it too. I wish that that 738 00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:26,560 Speaker 2: house it changed owners and they don't rent it out anymore. 739 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,759 Speaker 2: But I wish we could do the wedding again again. 740 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:32,760 Speaker 2: It was so much fun. 741 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:39,000 Speaker 1: How do you think your marriage has grown over these 742 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,920 Speaker 1: years together? Because you know, you've been together a significant 743 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,200 Speaker 1: amount of time. That's a success story that's happening for you. 744 00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:50,760 Speaker 2: I mean, we've been through a lot. We also keep 745 00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:55,440 Speaker 2: our relationship off social media. It's a very important for 746 00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:59,919 Speaker 2: the both of us. I mean I maybe post about 747 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:03,360 Speaker 2: it once on our anniversary and then on a birthday 748 00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:06,880 Speaker 2: or something. But like we you know, we we don't 749 00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:11,640 Speaker 2: believe in throwing keeps throwing it out how we feel 750 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:14,720 Speaker 2: about each other, like that's personal to us. It's very intimate. 751 00:40:16,440 --> 00:40:21,040 Speaker 2: And then you know, we lead very different lives, like 752 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,879 Speaker 2: we like very different things we have. I always joke 753 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:27,960 Speaker 2: around we have nothing in common, like just our core values. 754 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,520 Speaker 2: But other than that, like he likes sports and like 755 00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:36,080 Speaker 2: gay go sports. He likes to watch like war movies 756 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 2: and documentaries, and I like rom coms and you know, 757 00:40:40,800 --> 00:40:41,880 Speaker 2: fantasy shows. 758 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,600 Speaker 1: And I think her husband should hang out and we 759 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: should hang out, but that they can be happy doing 760 00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:49,800 Speaker 1: their thing. Yeah, because it's the same for me. And 761 00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:51,920 Speaker 1: I don't know if that's like all. I know, it's 762 00:40:51,960 --> 00:40:56,640 Speaker 1: not all guys, but it's it's good to have differences. 763 00:40:57,239 --> 00:40:59,080 Speaker 2: Well, I think it's great. So I was married. My 764 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 2: first husband wasn't actor, and it was I always say, 765 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,240 Speaker 2: there's room. There's only room for one peacock in the family, 766 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:09,919 Speaker 2: and it was I mean, I think that was part 767 00:41:09,960 --> 00:41:15,040 Speaker 2: of the problem. Yeah, and also you know, we we 768 00:41:15,200 --> 00:41:19,040 Speaker 2: liked all the same things. I love that my husband 769 00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:22,840 Speaker 2: and I are so completely different. You know, I read books, 770 00:41:22,840 --> 00:41:30,960 Speaker 2: he doesn't. You know, he's not an actor. I am like, 771 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,319 Speaker 2: it's just it's just for me, it's it's very it 772 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:37,040 Speaker 2: gives me space than to be able to be myself. 773 00:41:36,840 --> 00:41:40,239 Speaker 1: Right because that autonomy is so important in a relationship. 774 00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:43,759 Speaker 1: I feel like, don't you Yeah, okay. I always ask 775 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,400 Speaker 1: everyone this at the end of the podcast, Julie e 776 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,080 Speaker 1: Ban's what was your last I choose me moment? 777 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,080 Speaker 2: Oh? Is this morning I worked out? 778 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:52,839 Speaker 1: There? You go? 779 00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:56,080 Speaker 2: There, you go every morning every morning I choose me, 780 00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,920 Speaker 2: I go to the gym, I work out. That's me 781 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:02,040 Speaker 2: choosing me. And that's that's why you have that boy, 782 00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:06,799 Speaker 2: I do you know it's it's really for mental health purposes. 783 00:42:07,200 --> 00:42:10,319 Speaker 2: I find that that's where I center myself. I don't 784 00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,560 Speaker 2: have my phone with me. I'm not looking at my phone. 785 00:42:12,719 --> 00:42:16,480 Speaker 2: I'm not watching TV. I'm not I'm just focused on 786 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:22,160 Speaker 2: lifting a weight or you know, counting the rep counting 787 00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:26,960 Speaker 2: the reps. And it's very meditative for me. And nothing 788 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:31,480 Speaker 2: is allowed to interfere with my workout schedule. Drives my 789 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:32,319 Speaker 2: husband up a wall. 790 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:35,600 Speaker 1: But it's on the calendar. 791 00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:37,960 Speaker 2: If if i'm you know, if it's a day I'm 792 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:41,200 Speaker 2: scheduled to work out, he's got to wait. Yeah. 793 00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,440 Speaker 1: So good for you. Yeah, thank you so much for 794 00:42:44,480 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 1: being on my pood. I loved it.