Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast.
Speaker 1: So we're not in the same location today, Um, welcome
Speaker 1: to wind Down. I am in England, Katherine Christen, where
Speaker 1: are you guys at Nashville? Nashville? Not in my closet
Speaker 1: this time. Last time I talked to you remotely, I
Speaker 1: was in an empty closet, just an empty background. But
Speaker 1: I'm at home. This feels very weird that we're like this.
Speaker 1: I'm such a snugger that I have withdrawals when you
Speaker 1: guys are not in the same room as me. So
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is fine, Like I'll do it, but
Speaker 1: I need to like hold you. Yeah, no, this is
Speaker 1: this is This is like a you know, an update
Speaker 1: when we start and then we'll update after. Like I
Speaker 1: need an update on your life, Like what's going on
Speaker 1: in your life? Janna. I haven't seen you forever talk
Speaker 1: to us, Karmen san Diego because left in England and
Speaker 1: I don't have you talked to you since before then,
Speaker 1: So like, give me something, what's up with your life?
Speaker 1: Give me something? Um, so I'm I'm back over in England. Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I had the had the weekend off and what do
Speaker 1: you want to know? So she has a a gentleman
Speaker 1: friend in England. For the people that are listening that
Speaker 1: missed an episode, and it went so well the first
Speaker 1: time our little jet setters back international time out. Did
Speaker 1: you guys see the instagram that I put? That's next
Speaker 1: we'll talk about in a second. Let's just year in Scotland. Know,
Speaker 1: I'm in England right now. I went to Scotland for
Speaker 1: two days because he had two off days. So, um,
Speaker 1: what did you do in Scotland? Want to share? Went
Speaker 1: and saw this beautiful cathedral it was so pretty. Visited
Speaker 1: a few people and uh, saw like this really cool
Speaker 1: It's called like Necropolis or something, but these like old
Speaker 1: cemetery grave sites from way back into the hundreds. I mean,
Speaker 1: it was just it was so cool. Um, it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's so strange though it is. The last time I
Speaker 1: was in Scotland, it was with my ex and we
Speaker 1: were it was from my best friend's wedding, one of
Speaker 1: my best friend's wedding amy and it was just you know,
Speaker 1: like you have those moments where you're like never in
Speaker 1: a million years getting out of that rental car of
Speaker 1: you know, my ex trying to drive in Scotland did
Speaker 1: I think. Oh, in let's see how in four years
Speaker 1: I'm going to be here with my boyfriend? Right? Can
Speaker 1: we go back to that? I'm so sorry with the
Speaker 1: most you've been to Scotland before. But boyfriend, is this
Speaker 1: why we have a uh picture? Yeah, that hand holding official.
Speaker 1: I can appreciate the protection that we have given this
Speaker 1: gentleman as he is dapper and sweet and goodhearted. He's
Speaker 1: a national treasure over there, he's a sweetheart. And yeah, nos, yeah,
Speaker 1: I I am. I am not single, so and it
Speaker 1: is one that official. Yes, I mean, she hadn't even
Speaker 1: like hesitate with my boyfriend. But isn't that weird though?
Speaker 1: Like have you ever had those moments? I mean, I'm
Speaker 1: sure like in situations where you're like, I'm like, it's
Speaker 1: just so funny how the life in the world works.
Speaker 1: It's like I never would have I mean to be
Speaker 1: back in that spot and and and it's like or
Speaker 1: like you know, four years ago to be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be here again with you know, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be divorced and and then I'm gonna come back here
Speaker 1: with a boyfriend who grew up here. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: like I don't know I had just like that moment
Speaker 1: driving like this is this is very It's interesting how
Speaker 1: the world works. I think it's important for people to
Speaker 1: hear that because I've gotten a lot of um. I
Speaker 1: get a lot of your people that reach out asking
Speaker 1: me about like, you know, because we've talked about divorce
Speaker 1: and stuff and then and I always tell them I'm like,
Speaker 1: you have to, especially because I've been really passionate about
Speaker 1: this little movement I made about one more minute with
Speaker 1: battling depression, and I'm like, you just don't even know
Speaker 1: all the goodness that is coming to you, like those
Speaker 1: dark times you could I mean you, guys, I sat
Speaker 1: on the floor in an apartment in Kansas City and
Speaker 1: I thought about ending my life and on the other
Speaker 1: side of those minutes was two babies and a husband
Speaker 1: and love again and and and a lot of bs two.
Speaker 1: I'll be honest, Like, our industry is hard, and it's
Speaker 1: hard to be married in our industry, but it's also
Speaker 1: like there is so much Like when you say, I
Speaker 1: get out of a rental car with my boyfriend who
Speaker 1: was born in Scotlan, like because you can never you
Speaker 1: just don't know. And that's like the fun scavenger hunt
Speaker 1: of the way our life works. No, but it's true though,
Speaker 1: And I think, like, I mean, we've all been in
Speaker 1: those moments and shoot, like however many you know to
Speaker 1: two and a half years ago, Like I'm on the ground,
Speaker 1: like crying my my eyes out, and like I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone's gonna ever love me. And I'm you know,
Speaker 1: who who would want to be with me? And I'm um,
Speaker 1: you know I'm never gonna find love again. I'm unlovable.
Speaker 1: And it's like I think, you know the lesson and
Speaker 1: all of this is like that's just not true, Like
Speaker 1: you will find love again. And and this my I
Speaker 1: don't know if this is my forever person. I've got
Speaker 1: some things that maybe one day I'll share if it
Speaker 1: comes to fruition. But like you know, it's like I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just I'm not going to push away love just
Speaker 1: because I've been hurt before. I'm gonna embrace it. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna have fun. I'm gonna and if it doesn't work out, well,
Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna learn a lot of lessons.
Speaker 1: And I had a lot of fun on the way.
Speaker 1: So's noting to Creamer that you were like for a
Speaker 1: long time you were like, no, way would I do
Speaker 1: international boyfriend. No. I think it's worth noting that at
Speaker 1: some point maybe our own rules are what stand in
Speaker 1: the way of us meeting and enjoying another human being,
Speaker 1: like the person that you have now as a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: I just want to keep saying it, um because once
Speaker 1: you decided to, like, let that hurdle not be a hurdle.
Speaker 1: Look at you, You're glowing England, I know. I mean
Speaker 1: it's truly. I mean I you know, even like when
Speaker 1: I was on that app, I was like, no, they
Speaker 1: live in a different country, like no, no, no, And
Speaker 1: you know, even with him, I said no, Like I
Speaker 1: was just like no, I just like this is this
Speaker 1: is silly. I'm a mom with two kids and I
Speaker 1: live in Nashville, Like this, how would this even work?
Speaker 1: And something about him just you know, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well let me just see you know, like what what
Speaker 1: does a conversation hurt? Right? And you know, now there's
Speaker 1: something well I don't want to say too much, but
Speaker 1: I it just this just feels different. And again, if
Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, and I hate to say that,
Speaker 1: but I just I'm realistic to the point where um,
Speaker 1: I want people to know that no matter what, like
Speaker 1: you will be okay and you won't be alone you
Speaker 1: and and to let love in whether you end up
Speaker 1: getting hurt or it's here forever. I think that's like
Speaker 1: something that I've really realized because again I was so
Speaker 1: just like I'm not I'm never going to be loved.
Speaker 1: I mean even you know our friends that have gone through,
Speaker 1: like we've all felt that way, like we're unlovable and
Speaker 1: we're never going to find love. And once I found
Speaker 1: peace within myself and not like having to have that,
Speaker 1: it's kind of found me. Well, I think you also
Speaker 1: believe that no matter what happens with this relationship and
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, that you're okay, yeah, oh yeah,
Speaker 1: fine to be fine. You're going to And that's just
Speaker 1: so different for you, you know what I mean, And
Speaker 1: like you took a lot of work for you to
Speaker 1: get there, to truly believe that, And I think, in
Speaker 1: my personal opinion, I think that's what made it so
Speaker 1: easy for you to jump in, because you actually believe
Speaker 1: that this time that and this one's different, Like I'm
Speaker 1: not like I would pull so many tactics to like
Speaker 1: try to push someone away because I didn't. It's it's
Speaker 1: almost like I almost didn't believe that I deserved it.
Speaker 1: And also like I just knew they would leave so
Speaker 1: or they would end up lying or or doing something
Speaker 1: and so but I'm I'm just who I am in
Speaker 1: this relationship is who I've always wanted to be and
Speaker 1: what I've always like. I always said, like I have
Speaker 1: a lot of love to give, and I I like,
Speaker 1: I like, I want to give my love to this
Speaker 1: and it has a safe place to land this time. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and the Hairways is so happy to have you. Well
Speaker 1: that's the thing. I'm kind of like, okay, my, in
Speaker 1: my back of my mind, I mean, people are like
Speaker 1: or you know, like how would this ever work? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know And I'm not even like
Speaker 1: putting stress on it because it's just I'm just enjoying
Speaker 1: where it's at right now and I'm enjoying feeling this way.
Speaker 1: And why I'm out here so soon is because we're
Speaker 1: trying not to go more than three weeks that's seeing
Speaker 1: each other. So um, yes, it was a week later
Speaker 1: I flew out here, but only because I can't come
Speaker 1: back for because you know, weekends and Joel's you know,
Speaker 1: there's things that I couldn't rearranged, and right now he's
Speaker 1: with his job, he can't come, so, um, you know,
Speaker 1: I'll have to do more of like the bulk of
Speaker 1: the flying and then for the next few months. But
Speaker 1: I'm excited about it, and um, you know in three
Speaker 1: weeks hopefully I'll be back and yeah, bring him to us.
Speaker 1: When does he come to us? Yeah, that's my next question.
Speaker 1: I feel like you're keeping him over the pond. Bring
Speaker 1: him to meet him? Um, yeah, I mean it just depends,
Speaker 1: like with work and stuff, you're just not giving too much,
Speaker 1: which I'm like really proud of. But then also the
Speaker 1: people want to know Cramer. I'm happy, and I think
Speaker 1: that's the that's the piece where I'm just like it
Speaker 1: just feels really nice and just yeah, I'm I'm just
Speaker 1: I don't want to put too much like pressure on
Speaker 1: it and I just want to enjoy enjoy it. Would
Speaker 1: you like to give your listeners any hints about this
Speaker 1: person or any information at all, like any um for
Speaker 1: this is an easter egg. For a long time ago,
Speaker 1: Mark had asked or had told me who he thinks
Speaker 1: I should end up with. What sport and he's right.
Speaker 1: Remember I wish Mark was here. Was good. We need
Speaker 1: Mark that was used so if you all want to
Speaker 1: go back, you can find it there. Good. I wish
Speaker 1: everyone could see the group chat that happens while we're
Speaker 1: doing because my heart l A is like, yeah, everyone's
Speaker 1: so sweet about it. Yeah Mark, Mark was like, I
Speaker 1: would really like to see you be with someone who X,
Speaker 1: Y and Z played the plas. Yeah. Now everyone exits
Speaker 1: this podcast and goes back to re listen. But yeah,
Speaker 1: very happy, Janna, thank you. I'm like, I'm yeah, So
Speaker 1: it's gonna be tough. I mean, I've never done long distance,
Speaker 1: but again I'm just enjoying being happy and it's all good,
Speaker 1: Like there's there's gonna be lessons learned along the way.
Speaker 1: I'll learned things out whether it works out or whether
Speaker 1: it doesn't. And um, I think that's the piece that
Speaker 1: I know either way, Like I'm okay. One thing I love, love,
Speaker 1: love about long distance, which I know is like the
Speaker 1: double edged sword. But in Preston, I did a lot
Speaker 1: of not seeing each other for a really long time
Speaker 1: until we saw so much of each other that we
Speaker 1: made a million babies. But the you have to have trust.
Speaker 1: You build a different level of trust with each other
Speaker 1: and a different level of intimacy and intention because you
Speaker 1: can't pick each other up for a date night. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and anything really cool about that. Yeah, I'll never get
Speaker 1: into a situation again where I can't trust someone because
Speaker 1: I do not like who I become. Um and so,
Speaker 1: but there's something again, something is just very different about
Speaker 1: this relationship that I have like zero worries or fear.
Speaker 1: So I'm just and if something was to happen again,
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, like thanks for showing me who
Speaker 1: you are and I'm out, you know, so and again
Speaker 1: I'll find the lessons in it, so Cramer. So but
Speaker 1: I'll be how many few days and we'll be together
Speaker 1: next week and it'll be great. So and we'll go
Speaker 1: from there. But UM, bring him to us, Yeah, hopefully
Speaker 1: one day. But we have Dr lakey On. He's a
Speaker 1: plastic surgeon, you guys. But he wrote a book which
Speaker 1: I think is really cool, Um, basically about loving yourself.
Speaker 1: Because he's got m he's got some kids, and so
Speaker 1: I think that's going to be interesting. It's called Nobody
Speaker 1: Is the Same, a book about body positivity. So we're
Speaker 1: going to get him on Chris, and I know you've
Speaker 1: wanted some things in the plastic surgery area, um, which
Speaker 1: I think you're beautiful. You don't need anything, but I
Speaker 1: know how we all look at ourselves and your noses
Speaker 1: grow forever. That's all. I just need to talk to
Speaker 1: him about a little tiny touch up. Really do your
Speaker 1: nose and your ears? I think that's true in your
Speaker 1: face drinks. Oh that's when you get like when you
Speaker 1: see older people, it's because their face is shrunken him,
Speaker 1: but they're not like I didn't know, so maybe that's
Speaker 1: why the noses look bigger. I thought, you're we need
Speaker 1: to like, yeah, we need a doctor because this is
Speaker 1: all misinformation and some call the doctor. All right, let's
Speaker 1: get Dr Laky. He is part of the Beverly Hills
Speaker 1: Classic Surgeon Dr John Lakey, co founder of Beverly Hills Empty.
Speaker 1: Dr Lakey, how are you fantastic? Good morning? Good morning? Um, okay,
Speaker 1: I have well, we all have a lot of questions
Speaker 1: for you, but I want to talk about your book.
Speaker 1: But I first want to talk about can I we
Speaker 1: talk about the plastic surgery side of things first of course? Okay,
Speaker 1: so what do you specialize in for plastic surgeries. It
Speaker 1: is it all surgeries or UM's started off that way,
Speaker 1: trained in everything and operating from petatoe and then slowly
Speaker 1: found my dich So I'm really neck up my partner's
Speaker 1: neck own. So it just makes it easy a combination
Speaker 1: of both partners. It makes for a quick recovery. We'll see.
Speaker 1: Um Yeah, listen, I just found my my niche. I
Speaker 1: really enjoy operating face. I think it's very detailed and uh,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of artistry and finesse involved, and so
Speaker 1: I just tended to gravitate towards that. Have you found
Speaker 1: an increase of UM face classic surgery since filters have
Speaker 1: entered Instagram? Definitely? I mean I I think a thousand
Speaker 1: percent um The you know, now the interesting part, especially
Speaker 1: in Beverly Hills and we get all kinds of requests,
Speaker 1: but I have people who flying from all over the
Speaker 1: world asking to look like a particular filter. And I
Speaker 1: think that with the advent of social media, although it's
Speaker 1: amazing for extrapolating data and getting your information as quickly
Speaker 1: as possible, I think that our perceptions of what beauty is, um,
Speaker 1: you know, what a human should look like is is
Speaker 1: drastically changed. I think, you know, some of the concepts
Speaker 1: are still there. I mean, they'll will always be prevalent
Speaker 1: in society, but now some of the altered uh you know,
Speaker 1: facial features based off of a filter. You know, it's
Speaker 1: it's amazing to me, so um, you know, and that's
Speaker 1: ultimately where I started this, this kind of kind of
Speaker 1: this idea. I have three toddlers of my own, and
Speaker 1: so um, it's hard being a plastic surgeon and telling them, oh, listen,
Speaker 1: you know, you're beautiful the way you are, and as
Speaker 1: they grow, it will be more difficult, especially you know
Speaker 1: in teen years. I mean I think that, you know,
Speaker 1: our perception of our own self and our own self worth,
Speaker 1: our own self beauty can greatly influence our mental status.
Speaker 1: And so this is how depression and eating disorders and
Speaker 1: then anxiety, you know, image disturbances, body dysmorphia, all these
Speaker 1: things develop at a relatively young age. And I think
Speaker 1: that now watching young teens and preteens stare at their
Speaker 1: phones incessantly, um, I think we're gonna be in for
Speaker 1: for some trouble. So then are you for having conflict
Speaker 1: kind of then in yourself with what you do and
Speaker 1: then and then being in the position obviously as a
Speaker 1: dad and everything else. You know, the interesting part. I'm
Speaker 1: definitely not working myself out of a career. That's you know.
Speaker 1: I think there's always a place for even cosmetic surgery.
Speaker 1: Definitely reconstructive curcuity, but there's definitely a place for cosmetic surgery.
Speaker 1: I think that if you're comfortable in your own skin,
Speaker 1: and you have tried to do something to better yourself,
Speaker 1: and there's one thing that bothers you, and and everybody has.
Speaker 1: I mean, we have supermodels that come in and say
Speaker 1: this really bothers me, and you'll stare at and then
Speaker 1: think I don't and understand. But you know, everybody has
Speaker 1: that within themselves. And um, you know, for the sixteen
Speaker 1: year old that's getting bullied because you know, her nose
Speaker 1: is cricket or too large, or um, you know, for
Speaker 1: the the boy who's trying to play sports you can't
Speaker 1: breathe or you know. I think that there's always going
Speaker 1: to be a place for a plastic reconstructive surgery. UM.
Speaker 1: I just think that the trends are going so far
Speaker 1: off the track that you know it frankly, you know,
Speaker 1: I think some of it is becoming ridiculous. Well, I'll,
Speaker 1: I mean, I'll call myself out where you know. I
Speaker 1: remember I was I was waitressing justin Los Angeles. I
Speaker 1: was nineteen years old and I was waitressing at this um.
Speaker 1: I was doing like this red bull thing at this
Speaker 1: plastic surgeon's house, and I said, if there's one thing
Speaker 1: you could do to my face, what would you do?
Speaker 1: And he goes your nose. And ever since then, I've
Speaker 1: been so self conscious of my nose. Even so Katherine's
Speaker 1: at the top, there's also my managers. I'm always like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I hate that picture. My nose looks big,
Speaker 1: and my nose looks big, and so since these filters,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I have this one and I go, oh wow,
Speaker 1: I like my nose better in this filter, and so
Speaker 1: it's hard for me. But I'm like, but that's so
Speaker 1: awful that I'm like wanting to use this filter because
Speaker 1: I like the way my nose looks better in it.
Speaker 1: But then when I turn it off the filter, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: and then I don't like myself, and then I'm then
Speaker 1: I'm just like I throw my phone because I'm like,
Speaker 1: this is I get like insecure, and I'm like this
Speaker 1: is ridiculous, yes, which you know and listen, we can't
Speaker 1: take a step back and say, you know, that's obviously ridiculous.
Speaker 1: You're gorgeous. The thing is even with you know, when
Speaker 1: you look at the Halley berries, when you look at
Speaker 1: the Jennifer Iniston's where they have subtle fine uh you know,
Speaker 1: will say refinements. Um, I don't know that that is
Speaker 1: necessarily as bad as you know, trying to create a
Speaker 1: tap filter or a you know, the pinched tip. You
Speaker 1: know where it's clearly not it looks like more of
Speaker 1: an avatar that it does a human. Um. Again, I
Speaker 1: think what I enjoy doing is those subtle refinements, making
Speaker 1: them look as though you were born with them. And
Speaker 1: these aren't things. Again, we all obsessed about tiny little things.
Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you don't love yourself, but there are
Speaker 1: certain instances where you know you want to improve something,
Speaker 1: and that's where you know there is that conflict where
Speaker 1: you know, I start off by saying, listen, and this
Speaker 1: is the base. You have to love yourself first for
Speaker 1: who you are. Then you choose to change something. That's
Speaker 1: completely fine. If it's to the point where your reclusive
Speaker 1: because someone has commented or bullied or you know, made
Speaker 1: reference to something that you thought was normal until someone
Speaker 1: brought it up. It's a different ball game. And I
Speaker 1: think that as a society as a whole, you know,
Speaker 1: if we approach there wouldn't be such animosity, would be
Speaker 1: such a divide, There wouldn't, you know, be such stratification
Speaker 1: if everybody was as accepting. It doesn't mean you can't
Speaker 1: change something about yourself. I mean, because that's more of
Speaker 1: a personal decision. It's not that society is making. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, I got a blue job the last year
Speaker 1: and it was one of the best things. I love it. Like,
Speaker 1: I'm just like, this is It's not that I didn't
Speaker 1: like my body. It is just but now I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm more confident and definitely you fill out clothing you
Speaker 1: it's a complete different mentality. So again, there's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with that. That's never what I'm going to say because
Speaker 1: that's the job. But I do think that if it
Speaker 1: was that someone had told you, look, you know, you're pretty,
Speaker 1: but if you really were a sea cup or higher,
Speaker 1: you'd be a lot prettier. The idea is, you know, again,
Speaker 1: when we focus on something that we want to improve,
Speaker 1: in ourselves full different ball game with society is pressured, right,
Speaker 1: I mean, Kristen, you kind of um talked about wanting
Speaker 1: to do things and what if love comes to you
Speaker 1: and says like, I know when Julie she asked me,
Speaker 1: I'm obviously like, hey, when you're older and those are
Speaker 1: those are your choices. But I mean, is that like,
Speaker 1: how would you like where's your stance on that? Well?
Speaker 1: This is what's tricky for me because I've always it's
Speaker 1: interesting that he talks about I just really, first of all,
Speaker 1: I really enjoy your perspective on this a lot because
Speaker 1: it is about loving yourself first. And I just turned
Speaker 1: forty one a couple of days ago. I really like,
Speaker 1: thank you, capricordination. I really really I love myself. I
Speaker 1: think I'm a wonderful human. Took a lot of work,
Speaker 1: um to say that. But I have always wanted my
Speaker 1: nose done. I can't even tell you. I would say
Speaker 1: that it stems from here's a quick funny story. My
Speaker 1: mom had a dream when she was pregnant with me
Speaker 1: that she gave birth to a nose. And that is
Speaker 1: because my mom and my dad have these like huge noses.
Speaker 1: When my dad passed a year ago and I have
Speaker 1: since gone like, well, gosh, if I changed too much
Speaker 1: about my face, then he's, you know, like part of
Speaker 1: that is so it's your lineage too. And recently went
Speaker 1: over to London into France and we have some French
Speaker 1: in us too, and I thought, well, man, that's what
Speaker 1: makes us us. You know. I feel like we're such
Speaker 1: a copy paste society here that it sometimes makes me
Speaker 1: sad because we're losing all these really beautiful, ethnic, wonderful
Speaker 1: parts of our lineage by the way we're changing all
Speaker 1: that to say, I do get injections. I love botox.
Speaker 1: I can't get enough. Um amen, sister, I mean nothing.
Speaker 1: A lip never hurt anybody. Listen, there's nothing wrong with
Speaker 1: slowing down the aging process. And you know the funny
Speaker 1: part is my specialty is really brand and plastic facelik.
Speaker 1: So this is all I do all the long. The
Speaker 1: idea is this that, um, you know, obviously, when we
Speaker 1: look at someone are our brain takes the better half
Speaker 1: and naturally replicates it. And that's why the common phrase
Speaker 1: they look better in person. Most people hate themselves and
Speaker 1: photos because it doesn't do that. When you look at
Speaker 1: the nose it's a secondary characteristic, believe it or not.
Speaker 1: And that's why when you wear a mask, all your
Speaker 1: friends and family know exactly who you are because they
Speaker 1: see this. Um you know, and as a society, I
Speaker 1: think that will always be prevalent. U making minor changes
Speaker 1: does not change your ethnicity, does not change your personality.
Speaker 1: That it may give you some more confidence and undeniably
Speaker 1: there's no reason for it. But UM, I think the
Speaker 1: when we start as a whole and say, look, you're
Speaker 1: fine if you do, you're fine if you don't, that's
Speaker 1: a different ball game. I think right now society is
Speaker 1: saying this is what has beautiful. Uh, put this filter
Speaker 1: on to make yourself more beautiful. And that's where we're
Speaker 1: kind of, you know again, running off that track. And uh,
Speaker 1: I will never ever say if there's anything wrong with
Speaker 1: if you say, look, I just want to change my
Speaker 1: nose a little bit or do by all means, that's
Speaker 1: that is what I do. That's my job. But the
Speaker 1: when I look at some of these little kids, and
Speaker 1: even I see five or six year olds, they point
Speaker 1: things out and say, why, you know, why is that
Speaker 1: person like that or why you know? I think teaching
Speaker 1: them early that we're all different, we're all unique, and
Speaker 1: we're all special, we're all beautiful. Uh. It gives you
Speaker 1: that confidence. So then when we get into our teenage years,
Speaker 1: no one is really You don't see that group off
Speaker 1: in the corner that doesn't talk to anyone because they're
Speaker 1: you know, they've been shamed so much that they can't
Speaker 1: express their feelings or personality. Um, you know, we have
Speaker 1: less mental health issues, I believe as a result of that.
Speaker 1: And so once we can make it past those teen years,
Speaker 1: you know, the world's royster. You can now it's a
Speaker 1: different mentality, and so you know, you can change anything
Speaker 1: about yourself. It's for yourself. And I think you know,
Speaker 1: as an example, we'll have patients that come in and
Speaker 1: the husband or wife is saying, Okay, he needs this
Speaker 1: or she needs this, this, this, this this, and you're
Speaker 1: looking at them thinking, uh, you know, I'm gonna let
Speaker 1: them talk for a second just so they can tell
Speaker 1: me what they true want, because um, you know it
Speaker 1: just puts a bad taste. Well, yeah, they also need
Speaker 1: a lawyer work. Returning would be wonderful. And everything that
Speaker 1: I wanted to do is truly just for myself. The
Speaker 1: nose wouldn't be a new nose. I don't ever want
Speaker 1: to look like a different person. I just want to
Speaker 1: look I want to look like maybe I didn't make
Speaker 1: up a little different. And I think that's exactly you know,
Speaker 1: it's you know, well, it's a permanent confluence. How old
Speaker 1: are your kids. I have twin boys that are six
Speaker 1: and a half and I have a little religious from five. Yeah,
Speaker 1: with our daughters, um Jana and I have talked about
Speaker 1: this a lot too, because like, I never want to
Speaker 1: not look like my kids either, and I've done a
Speaker 1: really good job of dominating the gene pool, and so
Speaker 1: they look a lot like me. And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: I never want us to look not like we're related.
Speaker 1: So I think that's also really important too, and I
Speaker 1: would I'd have to be really careful about how I
Speaker 1: approached it. I think your view on everything is so
Speaker 1: beautiful and wonderful, though, because it is a little bit frustrating.
Speaker 1: We live in this society where everything is so copy paste.
Speaker 1: I mean, I have like a trainer, I'm working now,
Speaker 1: I can't get my butt any higher, I can't get
Speaker 1: my hips anything, And then you find out all these
Speaker 1: cheats that everyone's doing and you're like, well, this is
Speaker 1: apples and oranges. This isn't fair. I'm pretty open about
Speaker 1: the injectables and stuff like that online just because I
Speaker 1: do think. You know, I've got girls in my hometown going, oh,
Speaker 1: well you never age, and I'm like, listen, you can
Speaker 1: be a bedroom a button too. You just have to
Speaker 1: find the right person. Yes, I mean, cat, you're I
Speaker 1: mean I as an older even you've obviously got a
Speaker 1: little bit older of kids too. It's so I mean,
Speaker 1: you have to probably see that in the social media
Speaker 1: aspect and that's probably got to, you know, be really challenging.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be leaning on you too as my girls,
Speaker 1: you know, as Jolie gets older, and it's so hard.
Speaker 1: So I have an eleven year old and I've actually
Speaker 1: been dealing with this because she does have a phone.
Speaker 1: She did have social media, but she currently does not,
Speaker 1: because you know, I was going through because I go
Speaker 1: through her phone all the time, and it's like they're
Speaker 1: literally talking about you want to curvey your girl. I'm like,
Speaker 1: you were eleven years old. When I was little, everyone
Speaker 1: wanted to be skinny. Like she's skinny, she's beautiful, she's
Speaker 1: I mean all the things and it's like that you
Speaker 1: just boys want curvy your girls and girls that I
Speaker 1: was just like, what is happening? Like it's it's scary
Speaker 1: because it starts early. Yeah, the introduction is so much younger,
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, concepts are changing. Listen, if you
Speaker 1: look at most schools, you know, unfortunate enough for my
Speaker 1: kids are in private school, but still the concepts that
Speaker 1: are introduced there, I think, are you know, they're they're
Speaker 1: fairly young for all of these things. But that's the
Speaker 1: way you know, society is going. I think, you know,
Speaker 1: we have more information, more education, more you know, it's
Speaker 1: kind of drinking out of a fire hydrant as opposed
Speaker 1: to you know, a water found and um, that's you know,
Speaker 1: it's inevitable, and I think there has to be a
Speaker 1: way to teach it the right way. Um, Otherwise, you know,
Speaker 1: we're going to run into the same concepts over and
Speaker 1: over and over. And I think as society we're doing that.
Speaker 1: We're slowly going down that path. It's repeated, repetitive. You know. Um,
Speaker 1: we were as a whole, we're looking for change, but
Speaker 1: we're doing the same things. And I think that this
Speaker 1: is one way of trying to introduce the concept early
Speaker 1: and you know, whether it works or not, we'll we'll
Speaker 1: definitely see. So with your with your children's book that
Speaker 1: you wrote, I mean, I love, I love the whole
Speaker 1: concept of it, obviously self love. Can you just give
Speaker 1: like a an overview of about the book and and
Speaker 1: obviously I'm gonna get it to read my girl every
Speaker 1: single night so she knows, you know what, I'll send
Speaker 1: it to you. Oh support, we support here, thank you. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, so the book Body Positivity ultimately is nobody
Speaker 1: is the same, and so it introduces several little kids
Speaker 1: that all have our different shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and the
Speaker 1: ultimate goal at the end is to teach that, um,
Speaker 1: you know, we're all unique, we're all special, and we're
Speaker 1: all beautiful. And usually people who are bullies have something
Speaker 1: going on in their own lives, so we even have
Speaker 1: to turn around and offer compassion and so, uh, you know, ultimately,
Speaker 1: the end of the book is that you know, we're
Speaker 1: all special, we're all unique, and that we should embrace that. Um.
Speaker 1: It's interesting because I have two books in the work
Speaker 1: and it works. And really these are three things that
Speaker 1: I really tried doing with you know, my wife and
Speaker 1: I do with our kids, and um, the other two are.
Speaker 1: You know, being a gentleman isn't easy, and being a
Speaker 1: lady isn't easy. You know, we're reintroducing some older or
Speaker 1: ancient concepts, but it's what we do. You know. My
Speaker 1: wife's a Texan. Our kids say yes, certa, yes, ma'am. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, and and we expect. You know, it's not
Speaker 1: emotional maturity, but it's um you know, obedience, you know,
Speaker 1: being respectful. Um, you know things like that. So I
Speaker 1: forget I would just put it into book form. Well
Speaker 1: you're a Midwest guy that, yes, I was. I loved
Speaker 1: that Girls minus Cats A Southerner, but Michigan girls good stock,
Speaker 1: right there, hard workers, our listeners find you and the book. Um,
Speaker 1: so you can order the book on Amazon. The publishing
Speaker 1: company is called p D i C. Puppy Dogs and
Speaker 1: ice Cream, and uh, you know you can always find
Speaker 1: it via our website, which is Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery
Speaker 1: Group dot com. You know, I think it's it's again,
Speaker 1: it's kind of an oxyb. We're putting these two together.
Speaker 1: But if you if you peel back a few the layers,
Speaker 1: it's it isn't it's conngruent with my philosophy and the
Speaker 1: way I practice plastic surgery. I love that. Well, thank
Speaker 1: you for coming out on wind down and maybe I
Speaker 1: see in Los Angeles anytimes. Listen. I would love to
Speaker 1: to have you, so uh, definitely definitely stopped by when
Speaker 1: you're in Oh, I'm stopping by. Look for my chart doctor,
Speaker 1: I will, I will take care. I have a great
Speaker 1: rest of your week. We get all right. Hey, I'm
Speaker 1: Lance Bass, host of the new I Heart podcast Frosted
Speaker 1: Tips with Lance Bass. The hardest thing could be knowing
Speaker 1: who to turn to when questions arise, or times get tough,
Speaker 1: or you're at the end of the road. Okay, I
Speaker 1: see what you're doing. Do you ever think to yourself,
Speaker 1: what advice would Lance Bass and my favorite boy bands
Speaker 1: give me in this situation? If you do, you've come
Speaker 1: to the right place because I'm here to help this.
Speaker 1: I promise you seriously, I swear, and you won't have
Speaker 1: to send an S O S because I'll be there
Speaker 1: for you, and so will my husband Michael. Hey, that's me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we know that. Michael and a different hot sexy teen
Speaker 1: crush boy bander each week to I do through life
Speaker 1: step by step, not another one. Kids, relationships, life in
Speaker 1: general can get messy. You may be thinking, this is
Speaker 1: the story of my life. Just stop now. If so,
Speaker 1: tell everybody, yeah, everybody about my new podcast, and make
Speaker 1: sure to listen so we'll never ever have to say
Speaker 1: bye bye bye. Listen to Frosted Tips with a Lance
Speaker 1: Bass on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. All right, he was great.
Speaker 1: I love you can't wait. I can't I can't even imagine, Like,
Speaker 1: you literally have the body I would want, like the
Speaker 1: perfect body, and they're over here going you all just
Speaker 1: want curbing on. They want the Kardashians, Like that's what's
Speaker 1: in everyone's mind now, and that's not even real. That's
Speaker 1: not like they have plants and they have things to
Speaker 1: take and I'm like, uh, but yeah, we're talking a
Speaker 1: lot about that. It's interesting because I was so only
Speaker 1: you know, her birthday is coming up this month and
Speaker 1: she has been asking for a phone, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: baby girl, you are seven, like and so, but in
Speaker 1: my mind I'm like, well, like, maybe I can just
Speaker 1: get her a phone to like just make so that
Speaker 1: way I don't have to always communicate with my ax.
Speaker 1: I can just be like I can just call her,
Speaker 1: she can call her dad when you know, when she's
Speaker 1: with me. And but I'm like, I don't even want
Speaker 1: her to have access to I mean, obviously I would
Speaker 1: not have her have anything on there ever, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean, like until she's thirty. But like I
Speaker 1: still like, I don't even want her to have a
Speaker 1: phone in her hand because I feel like it's just well,
Speaker 1: first of all, suggestion I'm getting RANDI like the gizmo
Speaker 1: watch so I can call, you know, they can call
Speaker 1: on their watch and they can do all that. I'm
Speaker 1: actually getting her that today. But also like I did
Speaker 1: it too early with any I will own that. I
Speaker 1: will be the first to say with you know, we
Speaker 1: were at cheer comps and I wanted to be able
Speaker 1: to under I want if I lost her, Like there
Speaker 1: were reasons I did it, but I did it too early.
Speaker 1: How old? How old was she she was? She had
Speaker 1: an iPod, which is basically kind of what you're saying
Speaker 1: where they can just do a few things on it
Speaker 1: at eight. Okay, she started cheering when she was five.
Speaker 1: It was too early. I shouldn't have done it. And
Speaker 1: then I think nine. I think I got her a
Speaker 1: phone and had a letter her on social media then,
Speaker 1: and I let her on social media too early too.
Speaker 1: I mean, I will own all of that. I watch
Speaker 1: all of it, so in my mind, it's like I'm
Speaker 1: keeping an eye on it, which is better than a lot.
Speaker 1: I'm learning a lot of people don't keep an eye
Speaker 1: on anything. Um. But you know, it's just this fifth
Speaker 1: grade year, y'all. They start like, you know, it's everything
Speaker 1: we were talking about probably and bickering about and talking
Speaker 1: about at school or on the weekends, but now it's
Speaker 1: on the phone. We also went as inundated, like we
Speaker 1: didn't have you know, I remember watching like there was
Speaker 1: some study because I went to school for marketing communication.
Speaker 1: I remember there was some study that showed us the
Speaker 1: amount of ads or the amount of images we saw
Speaker 1: train the perfect body image by the time we had
Speaker 1: a certain age. And I can't remember any of that
Speaker 1: because I don't remember anything anymore because I have mom dementia.
Speaker 1: But I remember being an astronomical amount. And that was
Speaker 1: before social media came. So now we are like these
Speaker 1: girls are, I mean everywhere that they are, even if
Speaker 1: they're not on social media, their friends are even if
Speaker 1: they don't have a phone, their friends do and they're
Speaker 1: sending that's the thing. Like she has several friends, well,
Speaker 1: I'd say maybe a few friends that didn't have a
Speaker 1: phone until like now or whatever. There I mean, there's
Speaker 1: a group chat kids on it. I'm just like, you
Speaker 1: were opening yourself up. Because then people start not necessarily bullying.
Speaker 1: I won't say I've seen actual like bullying, but they
Speaker 1: start kind of being you know, like it's not okay,
Speaker 1: but like we all did it, you know, kind of
Speaker 1: in our like kind of being mean to that person
Speaker 1: or that person in a way. Maybe we didn't all
Speaker 1: do it, but we all had our But it's now
Speaker 1: it's it's on text message. I'm like so and says
Speaker 1: can screenshot that and in it, and so it's like
Speaker 1: you have to understand what you're putting in writing also
Speaker 1: can live with you for the rest of your life,
Speaker 1: you know. So it's just there's so many lessons, there's
Speaker 1: so many things in it, and I hate for them
Speaker 1: to feel out of the loop. Like if I took
Speaker 1: her phone away right now, it would definitely change her
Speaker 1: dynamic good or bad. You know. I mean, everyone communicates
Speaker 1: on on there um, but I don't know. Had she
Speaker 1: not had one, I don't know, maybe it wouldn't. I
Speaker 1: don't know. It's hard. It's so hard. I don't even
Speaker 1: That's the thing. That's that's where I'm like struggling because
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, she'll get made fun of if
Speaker 1: she doesn't so then she'll have a hard time in school.
Speaker 1: And if she does have it, then there's issues there.
Speaker 1: And it's like I'm thinking back to like, you know,
Speaker 1: even in middle school. Yeah, middle school's tough. High school
Speaker 1: there was some like you know, I remember, I remember
Speaker 1: there was like this um uh powder puff football thing
Speaker 1: and that there was like this list of the hit
Speaker 1: that the people I wanted to make sure they hit
Speaker 1: and I was on that list, and I was like, so,
Speaker 1: um that was that was I mean, I remember that.
Speaker 1: But I just look, I can't imagine having social media,
Speaker 1: and it's like a part of me is like I
Speaker 1: don't even want July to ever have that. But an
Speaker 1: at the same time, it's it's like I wish social
Speaker 1: media wasn't for comparison and you know, being being nasty
Speaker 1: because the comments that people say. I mean, I've now
Speaker 1: developed at least thick enough skin. It still hurts to
Speaker 1: read negative comments. I mean, we don't like it. You know,
Speaker 1: they said things about all of us and it's not nice.
Speaker 1: And it's like to have your daughter, our daughter, my daughter,
Speaker 1: or my son read those things about themselves and then
Speaker 1: you know the everything else that kids talk about that's
Speaker 1: scary and I'm just like, oh, I just that piece
Speaker 1: of parenting. I'm like, I don't even know what. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what to do, like, and
Speaker 1: I haven't really dealt with like the negative comments on
Speaker 1: social media yet. I watch it so closely that like,
Speaker 1: you know, she hasn't been like attacked or bullied on
Speaker 1: social media yet. But what I'm testing and really paying
Speaker 1: attention to. It's kind of Christien what you said, because
Speaker 1: they're just scrolling, They're just watching video after video after video,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are they saying? What's getting in
Speaker 1: their head to cause them to talk and think the
Speaker 1: way that they are. That's kind of where I'm at. More.
Speaker 1: I think once they get middle school, high school, they
Speaker 1: start bullying more on social media. For sure. We have
Speaker 1: friends of ours that have um, she thought she was
Speaker 1: and this is, like I would say, more so just
Speaker 1: a heads up, and I'm sure there's people listening that
Speaker 1: would already know this, but I was like, I don't
Speaker 1: know why it shocked me. But we had friends of
Speaker 1: ours who have a high schooler and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm on, I follow her and she always has this
Speaker 1: like wonderful content and she's so cute and the people
Speaker 1: that follow her suite and blah lah lah. And then
Speaker 1: she finds out there's another account. Oh yeah, and so
Speaker 1: then she's like, well, I don't have I don't have
Speaker 1: access to that account of my daughters and then that account.
Speaker 1: I mean, I've got to be honest, it's scary to
Speaker 1: me how these girls are dressing. It's scary to me
Speaker 1: they're learning it also innocently, truly, because it's just all
Speaker 1: around them, like the sexy, the crop tops. It's what
Speaker 1: I'm wearing a top top right now. And I feel
Speaker 1: like a bad mom when I wear because because I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I showing? Then I'm what am I showing
Speaker 1: my daughter? It's it's a hard my boobs are out.
Speaker 1: I'm like, it gets harder as that gets older, to
Speaker 1: be like, hey, you can't wear that if you're wearing
Speaker 1: it like I do. Think that that can get but
Speaker 1: it's also kind of like there's a lot of things
Speaker 1: I can't do I can do, so it's kind of like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's a hard I think we just
Speaker 1: have to say slow and steady and just really aware
Speaker 1: and real open. I think the conversation, I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: Jane and I have our oldest love is seven today,
Speaker 1: So it's not like I'm not I just it overwhelms
Speaker 1: me so much. Everyone's like, oh, I can't wait till
Speaker 1: my kids are older and they can do this and
Speaker 1: they can do that, and I am like, freeze time please,
Speaker 1: because everything you're talking about overwhelms me so much it
Speaker 1: makes my throat close. I think you just have to
Speaker 1: be slow and steady, good mom friends, friends that have
Speaker 1: gone before us, the moms that know the tricks and
Speaker 1: the apps and the things they can watch for. I
Speaker 1: think that as long as you're paying attention and you're aware,
Speaker 1: you're already leaps and bounds above ahead of everybody else.
Speaker 1: And I hate to say that, but I've been disappointed
Speaker 1: and shocked to see how many people don't pay attention.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, and I like and I like you. You
Speaker 1: said to Chris leaning on like it's a you know,
Speaker 1: Catherine will be leaning on you heavily for you know,
Speaker 1: things that you know, because obviously you've got an older daughter.
Speaker 1: So I mean, I love the gizmo gizmo watch idea
Speaker 1: versus you know, the other thing. And yeah, and I
Speaker 1: think something I try to do too, Like every morning
Speaker 1: and night, I'm always just like trying to reaffirm like
Speaker 1: you're beautiful, You're enough, and just ingraining that in her
Speaker 1: brain because I'm like, this was the pivotal six was
Speaker 1: my childhood trauma age where I didn't feel good enough
Speaker 1: and I felt like you know, so it's like I'm
Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, this is this These are the
Speaker 1: years that I have to really do everything that I
Speaker 1: can do to like ingrain that she's like pretty and
Speaker 1: beautiful and kind and nice and like enough. And yeah,
Speaker 1: I know we all take the head. I know, it's
Speaker 1: just because it's just scary and we have someone in
Speaker 1: my family who you know, obviously I won't I won't say,
Speaker 1: but like she's she's in high school and you know,
Speaker 1: even just like I don't want to live and it's
Speaker 1: just like you're in high school and it's just it's
Speaker 1: just it's just it's just sad, and I just wish,
Speaker 1: like first, like I I love, I obviously use social
Speaker 1: media as a as a marketing tool and as an
Speaker 1: income for my family, so that you know, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: grateful for social media and what it's done for for
Speaker 1: you know, for um supporting my family. And I also
Speaker 1: love that we can reach out to people and um
Speaker 1: kind of of do this together. But the negative, the
Speaker 1: negative side of social media, it's like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: it's like I hate for it to go away, but
Speaker 1: I just I don't want. I don't like the negative
Speaker 1: side of it. As a girl who had a back
Speaker 1: brace and hailer in seventh grade, I'm so glad social
Speaker 1: media did not exist. I cannot imagine. I mean, I
Speaker 1: know the things that were said about me just from
Speaker 1: what I heard. Imagine that's the thing you get behind me,
Speaker 1: and uh huh, that's really scary to me. And we
Speaker 1: have to protect our little people because it's not even
Speaker 1: about like we try to anchor in a little bit
Speaker 1: here like what God says about you, what mom and
Speaker 1: dad say about you, what you know, like just so
Speaker 1: that it's built so sturdy that you hope that that
Speaker 1: first like punch or hit or like the first trauma
Speaker 1: Jenna is talking about like doesn't destroy them and but
Speaker 1: at all. I mean you guys, we both all three
Speaker 1: of us, know, you collect those little tidbits over life,
Speaker 1: tiny little chip aways, and then before you know it,
Speaker 1: you're talking to Dr Lakey about getting a nose job
Speaker 1: on a podcast that reaches everyone in I heart. You know,
Speaker 1: like what do you I mean, it's just I think
Speaker 1: too something that you know, just a call out for
Speaker 1: people that are listening, because I know there are the
Speaker 1: Reddit trolls that come on and listen just to tear
Speaker 1: us down and to say mean comments. So you know,
Speaker 1: for those people and that want to go and comment,
Speaker 1: just remember that we're all human, we all have feelings,
Speaker 1: we all like it's so much easier to be kind
Speaker 1: because you don't know what people are going through, You
Speaker 1: don't know what they've gone through, what they're going to
Speaker 1: go through, and it's like it's just it's so much
Speaker 1: easier to just be kind, Like there's no like why
Speaker 1: be hateful or hurtful or leave negative comments or be
Speaker 1: nasty to someone or say like oh she's got this
Speaker 1: or that's you know, she's fat she's too thin, or
Speaker 1: she's got a big mess, like just be nice, Like,
Speaker 1: I don't understand why you have to be mean because
Speaker 1: have feelings. I would challenge the people that feel the
Speaker 1: need to comment to take before you hit the first
Speaker 1: key in your negative comment about someone that you don't know.
Speaker 1: I would just challenge you to take a look inward
Speaker 1: to see what it is about yourself that you dislike
Speaker 1: that is making you feel the way you feel to
Speaker 1: reach out and be hateful to someone, because I think
Speaker 1: that's the pause that society is missing. It feels to
Speaker 1: me like we're so quick to judge and to listen.
Speaker 1: I've been that person too. I've never really been a
Speaker 1: mean girl. I don't think. I'm sure there's someone listening
Speaker 1: that's like out beg to differ, but I wasn't. I
Speaker 1: was mean girl a lot, and I just look back
Speaker 1: and I'm like, listen, I don't know. I can't say
Speaker 1: her name, although it's it's literally like podcast gold if
Speaker 1: you could know her real name, because it's two first names,
Speaker 1: and I refer to her as the girl with two
Speaker 1: first names. But the girl with two first names probably
Speaker 1: actually had a lot going on at home in high
Speaker 1: school and I didn't know that, but I you know,
Speaker 1: at that age, you're not like, you can't really think
Speaker 1: that way. So I just I would just challenge, before
Speaker 1: you start to type, take two seconds and wonder about
Speaker 1: what it is about yourself or your story, or your
Speaker 1: baggage or your hurt or whatever that makes you feel
Speaker 1: like you want to attack someone like us for instance,
Speaker 1: or anybody. Yeah, but I love you girls, and we'll
Speaker 1: be back next week together