1 00:00:01,920 --> 00:00:05,359 Speaker 1: Wind Down with Jane Kramer and I Heart Radio podcast. 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:11,760 Speaker 1: So we're not in the same location today, Um, welcome 3 00:00:11,840 --> 00:00:16,079 Speaker 1: to wind Down. I am in England, Katherine Christen, where 4 00:00:16,079 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 1: are you guys at Nashville? Nashville? Not in my closet 5 00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:22,040 Speaker 1: this time. Last time I talked to you remotely, I 6 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:26,279 Speaker 1: was in an empty closet, just an empty background. But 7 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:30,840 Speaker 1: I'm at home. This feels very weird that we're like this. 8 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,879 Speaker 1: I'm such a snugger that I have withdrawals when you 9 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:37,479 Speaker 1: guys are not in the same room as me. So 10 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 1: I'm like, this is fine, Like I'll do it, but 11 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: I need to like hold you. Yeah, no, this is 12 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: this is This is like a you know, an update 13 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,560 Speaker 1: when we start and then we'll update after. Like I 14 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,400 Speaker 1: need an update on your life, Like what's going on 15 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:54,639 Speaker 1: in your life? Janna. I haven't seen you forever talk 16 00:00:54,720 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 1: to us, Karmen san Diego because left in England and 17 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,400 Speaker 1: I don't have you talked to you since before then, 18 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,880 Speaker 1: So like, give me something, what's up with your life? 19 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:13,040 Speaker 1: Give me something? Um, so I'm I'm back over in England. Um, yeah, 20 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:18,320 Speaker 1: I had the had the weekend off and what do 21 00:01:18,319 --> 00:01:23,199 Speaker 1: you want to know? So she has a a gentleman 22 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:26,840 Speaker 1: friend in England. For the people that are listening that 23 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:32,120 Speaker 1: missed an episode, and it went so well the first 24 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: time our little jet setters back international time out. Did 25 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 1: you guys see the instagram that I put? That's next 26 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: we'll talk about in a second. Let's just year in Scotland. Know, 27 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 1: I'm in England right now. I went to Scotland for 28 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: two days because he had two off days. So, um, 29 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:55,960 Speaker 1: what did you do in Scotland? Want to share? Went 30 00:01:56,080 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 1: and saw this beautiful cathedral it was so pretty. Visited 31 00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:07,160 Speaker 1: a few people and uh, saw like this really cool 32 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:10,600 Speaker 1: It's called like Necropolis or something, but these like old 33 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,960 Speaker 1: cemetery grave sites from way back into the hundreds. I mean, 34 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: it was just it was so cool. Um, it's you know, 35 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,480 Speaker 1: it's so strange though it is. The last time I 36 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,520 Speaker 1: was in Scotland, it was with my ex and we 37 00:02:26,520 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 1: were it was from my best friend's wedding, one of 38 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:32,200 Speaker 1: my best friend's wedding amy and it was just you know, 39 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 1: like you have those moments where you're like never in 40 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:40,120 Speaker 1: a million years getting out of that rental car of 41 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,359 Speaker 1: you know, my ex trying to drive in Scotland did 42 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:46,080 Speaker 1: I think. Oh, in let's see how in four years 43 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:54,200 Speaker 1: I'm going to be here with my boyfriend? Right? Can 44 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:56,120 Speaker 1: we go back to that? I'm so sorry with the 45 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: most you've been to Scotland before. But boyfriend, is this 46 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 1: why we have a uh picture? Yeah, that hand holding official. 47 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: I can appreciate the protection that we have given this 48 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: gentleman as he is dapper and sweet and goodhearted. He's 49 00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:22,360 Speaker 1: a national treasure over there, he's a sweetheart. And yeah, nos, yeah, 50 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 1: I I am. I am not single, so and it 51 00:03:26,639 --> 00:03:31,240 Speaker 1: is one that official. Yes, I mean, she hadn't even 52 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:35,320 Speaker 1: like hesitate with my boyfriend. But isn't that weird though? 53 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:36,840 Speaker 1: Like have you ever had those moments? I mean, I'm 54 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: sure like in situations where you're like, I'm like, it's 55 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,640 Speaker 1: just so funny how the life in the world works. 56 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,360 Speaker 1: It's like I never would have I mean to be 57 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:49,720 Speaker 1: back in that spot and and and it's like or 58 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 1: like you know, four years ago to be like, oh, yeah, 59 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,200 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be here again with you know, I'm gonna 60 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,880 Speaker 1: be divorced and and then I'm gonna come back here 61 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 1: with a boyfriend who grew up here. Yeah, it's just 62 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,040 Speaker 1: like I don't know I had just like that moment 63 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,600 Speaker 1: driving like this is this is very It's interesting how 64 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 1: the world works. I think it's important for people to 65 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:10,080 Speaker 1: hear that because I've gotten a lot of um. I 66 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,280 Speaker 1: get a lot of your people that reach out asking 67 00:04:12,280 --> 00:04:14,360 Speaker 1: me about like, you know, because we've talked about divorce 68 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,800 Speaker 1: and stuff and then and I always tell them I'm like, 69 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:20,640 Speaker 1: you have to, especially because I've been really passionate about 70 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,880 Speaker 1: this little movement I made about one more minute with 71 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:26,719 Speaker 1: battling depression, and I'm like, you just don't even know 72 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: all the goodness that is coming to you, like those 73 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,240 Speaker 1: dark times you could I mean you, guys, I sat 74 00:04:32,279 --> 00:04:34,720 Speaker 1: on the floor in an apartment in Kansas City and 75 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,880 Speaker 1: I thought about ending my life and on the other 76 00:04:38,080 --> 00:04:43,000 Speaker 1: side of those minutes was two babies and a husband 77 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 1: and love again and and and a lot of bs two. 78 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 1: I'll be honest, Like, our industry is hard, and it's 79 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,680 Speaker 1: hard to be married in our industry, but it's also 80 00:04:52,839 --> 00:04:55,680 Speaker 1: like there is so much Like when you say, I 81 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: get out of a rental car with my boyfriend who 82 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 1: was born in Scotlan, like because you can never you 83 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,920 Speaker 1: just don't know. And that's like the fun scavenger hunt 84 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: of the way our life works. No, but it's true though, 85 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:10,919 Speaker 1: And I think, like, I mean, we've all been in 86 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: those moments and shoot, like however many you know to 87 00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: two and a half years ago, Like I'm on the ground, 88 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: like crying my my eyes out, and like I don't 89 00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,800 Speaker 1: think anyone's gonna ever love me. And I'm you know, 90 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: who who would want to be with me? And I'm um, 91 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,480 Speaker 1: you know I'm never gonna find love again. I'm unlovable. 92 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,720 Speaker 1: And it's like I think, you know the lesson and 93 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,200 Speaker 1: all of this is like that's just not true, Like 94 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 1: you will find love again. And and this my I 95 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: don't know if this is my forever person. I've got 96 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 1: some things that maybe one day I'll share if it 97 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:47,080 Speaker 1: comes to fruition. But like you know, it's like I'm 98 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 1: gonna just I'm not going to push away love just 99 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,640 Speaker 1: because I've been hurt before. I'm gonna embrace it. I'm 100 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:57,480 Speaker 1: gonna have fun. I'm gonna and if it doesn't work out, well, 101 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,000 Speaker 1: you know what, I'm gonna learn a lot of lessons. 102 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:00,719 Speaker 1: And I had a lot of fun on the way. 103 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: So's noting to Creamer that you were like for a 104 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,640 Speaker 1: long time you were like, no, way would I do 105 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:13,320 Speaker 1: international boyfriend. No. I think it's worth noting that at 106 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,719 Speaker 1: some point maybe our own rules are what stand in 107 00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: the way of us meeting and enjoying another human being, 108 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,400 Speaker 1: like the person that you have now as a boyfriend. 109 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:26,080 Speaker 1: I just want to keep saying it, um because once 110 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,719 Speaker 1: you decided to, like, let that hurdle not be a hurdle. 111 00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 1: Look at you, You're glowing England, I know. I mean 112 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: it's truly. I mean I you know, even like when 113 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: I was on that app, I was like, no, they 114 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,880 Speaker 1: live in a different country, like no, no, no, And 115 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,279 Speaker 1: you know, even with him, I said no, Like I 116 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,200 Speaker 1: was just like no, I just like this is this 117 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,599 Speaker 1: is silly. I'm a mom with two kids and I 118 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,760 Speaker 1: live in Nashville, Like this, how would this even work? 119 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:57,239 Speaker 1: And something about him just you know, I was like, Okay, 120 00:06:57,240 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: well let me just see you know, like what what 121 00:07:00,279 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 1: does a conversation hurt? Right? And you know, now there's 122 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: something well I don't want to say too much, but 123 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: I it just this just feels different. And again, if 124 00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,840 Speaker 1: it doesn't work out, and I hate to say that, 125 00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:18,960 Speaker 1: but I just I'm realistic to the point where um, 126 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: I want people to know that no matter what, like 127 00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:23,640 Speaker 1: you will be okay and you won't be alone you 128 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 1: and and to let love in whether you end up 129 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 1: getting hurt or it's here forever. I think that's like 130 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 1: something that I've really realized because again I was so 131 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: just like I'm not I'm never going to be loved. 132 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,400 Speaker 1: I mean even you know our friends that have gone through, 133 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: like we've all felt that way, like we're unlovable and 134 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,760 Speaker 1: we're never going to find love. And once I found 135 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:48,240 Speaker 1: peace within myself and not like having to have that, 136 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: it's kind of found me. Well, I think you also 137 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,880 Speaker 1: believe that no matter what happens with this relationship and 138 00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, that you're okay, yeah, oh yeah, 139 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 1: fine to be fine. You're going to And that's just 140 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 1: so different for you, you know what I mean, And 141 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: like you took a lot of work for you to 142 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,280 Speaker 1: get there, to truly believe that, And I think, in 143 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:12,560 Speaker 1: my personal opinion, I think that's what made it so 144 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 1: easy for you to jump in, because you actually believe 145 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:19,880 Speaker 1: that this time that and this one's different, Like I'm 146 00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:22,360 Speaker 1: not like I would pull so many tactics to like 147 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 1: try to push someone away because I didn't. It's it's 148 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:28,760 Speaker 1: almost like I almost didn't believe that I deserved it. 149 00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 1: And also like I just knew they would leave so 150 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:34,720 Speaker 1: or they would end up lying or or doing something 151 00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 1: and so but I'm I'm just who I am in 152 00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: this relationship is who I've always wanted to be and 153 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,319 Speaker 1: what I've always like. I always said, like I have 154 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: a lot of love to give, and I I like, 155 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,839 Speaker 1: I like, I want to give my love to this 156 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 1: and it has a safe place to land this time. Yeah, 157 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 1: and the Hairways is so happy to have you. Well 158 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 1: that's the thing. I'm kind of like, okay, my, in 159 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: my back of my mind, I mean, people are like 160 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 1: or you know, like how would this ever work? And 161 00:09:04,679 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know And I'm not even like 162 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: putting stress on it because it's just I'm just enjoying 163 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,560 Speaker 1: where it's at right now and I'm enjoying feeling this way. 164 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: And why I'm out here so soon is because we're 165 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: trying not to go more than three weeks that's seeing 166 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:23,240 Speaker 1: each other. So um, yes, it was a week later 167 00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: I flew out here, but only because I can't come 168 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:28,560 Speaker 1: back for because you know, weekends and Joel's you know, 169 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:32,440 Speaker 1: there's things that I couldn't rearranged, and right now he's 170 00:09:32,559 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 1: with his job, he can't come, so, um, you know, 171 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:38,560 Speaker 1: I'll have to do more of like the bulk of 172 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 1: the flying and then for the next few months. But 173 00:09:40,360 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 1: I'm excited about it, and um, you know in three 174 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:48,800 Speaker 1: weeks hopefully I'll be back and yeah, bring him to us. 175 00:09:48,840 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: When does he come to us? Yeah, that's my next question. 176 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: I feel like you're keeping him over the pond. Bring 177 00:09:55,559 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: him to meet him? Um, yeah, I mean it just depends, 178 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:07,240 Speaker 1: like with work and stuff, you're just not giving too much, 179 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,320 Speaker 1: which I'm like really proud of. But then also the 180 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: people want to know Cramer. I'm happy, and I think 181 00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:18,200 Speaker 1: that's the that's the piece where I'm just like it 182 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 1: just feels really nice and just yeah, I'm I'm just 183 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: I don't want to put too much like pressure on 184 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 1: it and I just want to enjoy enjoy it. Would 185 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:33,400 Speaker 1: you like to give your listeners any hints about this 186 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:38,440 Speaker 1: person or any information at all, like any um for 187 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 1: this is an easter egg. For a long time ago, 188 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: Mark had asked or had told me who he thinks 189 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: I should end up with. What sport and he's right. 190 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 1: Remember I wish Mark was here. Was good. We need 191 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: Mark that was used so if you all want to 192 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,760 Speaker 1: go back, you can find it there. Good. I wish 193 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: everyone could see the group chat that happens while we're 194 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:13,720 Speaker 1: doing because my heart l A is like, yeah, everyone's 195 00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:17,440 Speaker 1: so sweet about it. Yeah Mark, Mark was like, I 196 00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 1: would really like to see you be with someone who X, 197 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: Y and Z played the plas. Yeah. Now everyone exits 198 00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: this podcast and goes back to re listen. But yeah, 199 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,920 Speaker 1: very happy, Janna, thank you. I'm like, I'm yeah, So 200 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,920 Speaker 1: it's gonna be tough. I mean, I've never done long distance, 201 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: but again I'm just enjoying being happy and it's all good, 202 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,280 Speaker 1: Like there's there's gonna be lessons learned along the way. 203 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,640 Speaker 1: I'll learned things out whether it works out or whether 204 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: it doesn't. And um, I think that's the piece that 205 00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 1: I know either way, Like I'm okay. One thing I love, love, 206 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:56,320 Speaker 1: love about long distance, which I know is like the 207 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:58,960 Speaker 1: double edged sword. But in Preston, I did a lot 208 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: of not seeing each other for a really long time 209 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,600 Speaker 1: until we saw so much of each other that we 210 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:08,079 Speaker 1: made a million babies. But the you have to have trust. 211 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,680 Speaker 1: You build a different level of trust with each other 212 00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:15,000 Speaker 1: and a different level of intimacy and intention because you 213 00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 1: can't pick each other up for a date night. Yeah, 214 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,959 Speaker 1: and anything really cool about that. Yeah, I'll never get 215 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: into a situation again where I can't trust someone because 216 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: I do not like who I become. Um and so, 217 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,199 Speaker 1: but there's something again, something is just very different about 218 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:37,880 Speaker 1: this relationship that I have like zero worries or fear. 219 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,959 Speaker 1: So I'm just and if something was to happen again, 220 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,719 Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, like thanks for showing me who 221 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:46,280 Speaker 1: you are and I'm out, you know, so and again 222 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: I'll find the lessons in it, so Cramer. So but 223 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: I'll be how many few days and we'll be together 224 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,960 Speaker 1: next week and it'll be great. So and we'll go 225 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:03,439 Speaker 1: from there. But UM, bring him to us, Yeah, hopefully 226 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 1: one day. But we have Dr lakey On. He's a 227 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: plastic surgeon, you guys. But he wrote a book which 228 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:15,240 Speaker 1: I think is really cool, Um, basically about loving yourself. 229 00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 1: Because he's got m he's got some kids, and so 230 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: I think that's going to be interesting. It's called Nobody 231 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,640 Speaker 1: Is the Same, a book about body positivity. So we're 232 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,839 Speaker 1: going to get him on Chris, and I know you've 233 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 1: wanted some things in the plastic surgery area, um, which 234 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: I think you're beautiful. You don't need anything, but I 235 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,600 Speaker 1: know how we all look at ourselves and your noses 236 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,280 Speaker 1: grow forever. That's all. I just need to talk to 237 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: him about a little tiny touch up. Really do your 238 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:45,560 Speaker 1: nose and your ears? I think that's true in your 239 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:50,400 Speaker 1: face drinks. Oh that's when you get like when you 240 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,320 Speaker 1: see older people, it's because their face is shrunken him, 241 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: but they're not like I didn't know, so maybe that's 242 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,280 Speaker 1: why the noses look bigger. I thought, you're we need 243 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 1: to like, yeah, we need a doctor because this is 244 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:07,480 Speaker 1: all misinformation and some call the doctor. All right, let's 245 00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,520 Speaker 1: get Dr Laky. He is part of the Beverly Hills 246 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,160 Speaker 1: Classic Surgeon Dr John Lakey, co founder of Beverly Hills Empty. 247 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: Dr Lakey, how are you fantastic? Good morning? Good morning? Um, okay, 248 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: I have well, we all have a lot of questions 249 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 1: for you, but I want to talk about your book. 250 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: But I first want to talk about can I we 251 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:46,160 Speaker 1: talk about the plastic surgery side of things first of course? Okay, 252 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 1: so what do you specialize in for plastic surgeries. It 253 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:52,960 Speaker 1: is it all surgeries or UM's started off that way, 254 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 1: trained in everything and operating from petatoe and then slowly 255 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,560 Speaker 1: found my dich So I'm really neck up my partner's 256 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:03,640 Speaker 1: neck own. So it just makes it easy a combination 257 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 1: of both partners. It makes for a quick recovery. We'll see. 258 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,360 Speaker 1: Um Yeah, listen, I just found my my niche. I 259 00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:17,240 Speaker 1: really enjoy operating face. I think it's very detailed and uh, 260 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:20,040 Speaker 1: there's a lot of artistry and finesse involved, and so 261 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:23,120 Speaker 1: I just tended to gravitate towards that. Have you found 262 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:29,640 Speaker 1: an increase of UM face classic surgery since filters have 263 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: entered Instagram? Definitely? I mean I I think a thousand 264 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:36,960 Speaker 1: percent um The you know, now the interesting part, especially 265 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:39,720 Speaker 1: in Beverly Hills and we get all kinds of requests, 266 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: but I have people who flying from all over the 267 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: world asking to look like a particular filter. And I 268 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:49,920 Speaker 1: think that with the advent of social media, although it's 269 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: amazing for extrapolating data and getting your information as quickly 270 00:15:55,600 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 1: as possible, I think that our perceptions of what beauty is, um, 271 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 1: you know, what a human should look like is is 272 00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,280 Speaker 1: drastically changed. I think, you know, some of the concepts 273 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,680 Speaker 1: are still there. I mean, they'll will always be prevalent 274 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: in society, but now some of the altered uh you know, 275 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,040 Speaker 1: facial features based off of a filter. You know, it's 276 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:22,920 Speaker 1: it's amazing to me, so um, you know, and that's 277 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:26,240 Speaker 1: ultimately where I started this, this kind of kind of 278 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 1: this idea. I have three toddlers of my own, and 279 00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: so um, it's hard being a plastic surgeon and telling them, oh, listen, 280 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,920 Speaker 1: you know, you're beautiful the way you are, and as 281 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:41,120 Speaker 1: they grow, it will be more difficult, especially you know 282 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:45,360 Speaker 1: in teen years. I mean I think that, you know, 283 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 1: our perception of our own self and our own self worth, 284 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:55,119 Speaker 1: our own self beauty can greatly influence our mental status. 285 00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 1: And so this is how depression and eating disorders and 286 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:05,440 Speaker 1: then anxiety, you know, image disturbances, body dysmorphia, all these 287 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 1: things develop at a relatively young age. And I think 288 00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 1: that now watching young teens and preteens stare at their 289 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:19,000 Speaker 1: phones incessantly, um, I think we're gonna be in for 290 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:22,000 Speaker 1: for some trouble. So then are you for having conflict 291 00:17:22,080 --> 00:17:24,439 Speaker 1: kind of then in yourself with what you do and 292 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:27,000 Speaker 1: then and then being in the position obviously as a 293 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:30,840 Speaker 1: dad and everything else. You know, the interesting part. I'm 294 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,040 Speaker 1: definitely not working myself out of a career. That's you know. 295 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: I think there's always a place for even cosmetic surgery. 296 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,760 Speaker 1: Definitely reconstructive curcuity, but there's definitely a place for cosmetic surgery. 297 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 1: I think that if you're comfortable in your own skin, 298 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:50,280 Speaker 1: and you have tried to do something to better yourself, 299 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:54,000 Speaker 1: and there's one thing that bothers you, and and everybody has. 300 00:17:54,119 --> 00:17:55,960 Speaker 1: I mean, we have supermodels that come in and say 301 00:17:56,359 --> 00:17:58,320 Speaker 1: this really bothers me, and you'll stare at and then 302 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:02,600 Speaker 1: think I don't and understand. But you know, everybody has 303 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:07,720 Speaker 1: that within themselves. And um, you know, for the sixteen 304 00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,680 Speaker 1: year old that's getting bullied because you know, her nose 305 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 1: is cricket or too large, or um, you know, for 306 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 1: the the boy who's trying to play sports you can't 307 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:20,320 Speaker 1: breathe or you know. I think that there's always going 308 00:18:20,359 --> 00:18:24,480 Speaker 1: to be a place for a plastic reconstructive surgery. UM. 309 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 1: I just think that the trends are going so far 310 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:35,879 Speaker 1: off the track that you know it frankly, you know, 311 00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:39,680 Speaker 1: I think some of it is becoming ridiculous. Well, I'll, 312 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: I mean, I'll call myself out where you know. I 313 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,919 Speaker 1: remember I was I was waitressing justin Los Angeles. I 314 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:51,440 Speaker 1: was nineteen years old and I was waitressing at this um. 315 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 1: I was doing like this red bull thing at this 316 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:55,399 Speaker 1: plastic surgeon's house, and I said, if there's one thing 317 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:56,879 Speaker 1: you could do to my face, what would you do? 318 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:59,840 Speaker 1: And he goes your nose. And ever since then, I've 319 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: been so self conscious of my nose. Even so Katherine's 320 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,920 Speaker 1: at the top, there's also my managers. I'm always like, 321 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:07,480 Speaker 1: oh no, I hate that picture. My nose looks big, 322 00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,600 Speaker 1: and my nose looks big, and so since these filters, 323 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, I have this one and I go, oh wow, 324 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 1: I like my nose better in this filter, and so 325 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,000 Speaker 1: it's hard for me. But I'm like, but that's so 326 00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:21,640 Speaker 1: awful that I'm like wanting to use this filter because 327 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,119 Speaker 1: I like the way my nose looks better in it. 328 00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: But then when I turn it off the filter, I'm like, oh, 329 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,080 Speaker 1: and then I don't like myself, and then I'm then 330 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 1: I'm just like I throw my phone because I'm like, 331 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,840 Speaker 1: this is I get like insecure, and I'm like this 332 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:36,960 Speaker 1: is ridiculous, yes, which you know and listen, we can't 333 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: take a step back and say, you know, that's obviously ridiculous. 334 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 1: You're gorgeous. The thing is even with you know, when 335 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 1: you look at the Halley berries, when you look at 336 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:53,399 Speaker 1: the Jennifer Iniston's where they have subtle fine uh you know, 337 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,720 Speaker 1: will say refinements. Um, I don't know that that is 338 00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:02,960 Speaker 1: necessarily as bad as you know, trying to create a 339 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:07,320 Speaker 1: tap filter or a you know, the pinched tip. You 340 00:20:07,359 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 1: know where it's clearly not it looks like more of 341 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: an avatar that it does a human. Um. Again, I 342 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 1: think what I enjoy doing is those subtle refinements, making 343 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,199 Speaker 1: them look as though you were born with them. And 344 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 1: these aren't things. Again, we all obsessed about tiny little things. 345 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:27,679 Speaker 1: It doesn't mean you don't love yourself, but there are 346 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,920 Speaker 1: certain instances where you know you want to improve something, 347 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,720 Speaker 1: and that's where you know there is that conflict where 348 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:39,399 Speaker 1: you know, I start off by saying, listen, and this 349 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,399 Speaker 1: is the base. You have to love yourself first for 350 00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,160 Speaker 1: who you are. Then you choose to change something. That's 351 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,360 Speaker 1: completely fine. If it's to the point where your reclusive 352 00:20:49,359 --> 00:20:54,880 Speaker 1: because someone has commented or bullied or you know, made 353 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:59,160 Speaker 1: reference to something that you thought was normal until someone 354 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: brought it up. It's a different ball game. And I 355 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:04,479 Speaker 1: think that as a society as a whole, you know, 356 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,879 Speaker 1: if we approach there wouldn't be such animosity, would be 357 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:11,680 Speaker 1: such a divide, There wouldn't, you know, be such stratification 358 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,879 Speaker 1: if everybody was as accepting. It doesn't mean you can't 359 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:19,960 Speaker 1: change something about yourself. I mean, because that's more of 360 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: a personal decision. It's not that society is making. Yeah, 361 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:26,480 Speaker 1: I mean, I got a blue job the last year 362 00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:28,480 Speaker 1: and it was one of the best things. I love it. Like, 363 00:21:28,560 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 1: I'm just like, this is It's not that I didn't 364 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:32,919 Speaker 1: like my body. It is just but now I'm like, 365 00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 1: I'm more confident and definitely you fill out clothing you 366 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:42,280 Speaker 1: it's a complete different mentality. So again, there's nothing wrong 367 00:21:42,359 --> 00:21:45,240 Speaker 1: with that. That's never what I'm going to say because 368 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,760 Speaker 1: that's the job. But I do think that if it 369 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: was that someone had told you, look, you know, you're pretty, 370 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,399 Speaker 1: but if you really were a sea cup or higher, 371 00:21:56,600 --> 00:22:01,159 Speaker 1: you'd be a lot prettier. The idea is, you know, again, 372 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,000 Speaker 1: when we focus on something that we want to improve, 373 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:09,360 Speaker 1: in ourselves full different ball game with society is pressured, right, 374 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:13,359 Speaker 1: I mean, Kristen, you kind of um talked about wanting 375 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 1: to do things and what if love comes to you 376 00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:19,399 Speaker 1: and says like, I know when Julie she asked me, 377 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,679 Speaker 1: I'm obviously like, hey, when you're older and those are 378 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,199 Speaker 1: those are your choices. But I mean, is that like, 379 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,760 Speaker 1: how would you like where's your stance on that? Well? 380 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:30,120 Speaker 1: This is what's tricky for me because I've always it's 381 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:33,840 Speaker 1: interesting that he talks about I just really, first of all, 382 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,760 Speaker 1: I really enjoy your perspective on this a lot because 383 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,680 Speaker 1: it is about loving yourself first. And I just turned 384 00:22:39,680 --> 00:22:42,159 Speaker 1: forty one a couple of days ago. I really like, 385 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:47,000 Speaker 1: thank you, capricordination. I really really I love myself. I 386 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,879 Speaker 1: think I'm a wonderful human. Took a lot of work, 387 00:22:50,359 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: um to say that. But I have always wanted my 388 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: nose done. I can't even tell you. I would say 389 00:22:58,600 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: that it stems from here's a quick funny story. My 390 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 1: mom had a dream when she was pregnant with me 391 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,720 Speaker 1: that she gave birth to a nose. And that is 392 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,639 Speaker 1: because my mom and my dad have these like huge noses. 393 00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 1: When my dad passed a year ago and I have 394 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:14,200 Speaker 1: since gone like, well, gosh, if I changed too much 395 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:17,760 Speaker 1: about my face, then he's, you know, like part of 396 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 1: that is so it's your lineage too. And recently went 397 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 1: over to London into France and we have some French 398 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 1: in us too, and I thought, well, man, that's what 399 00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:28,800 Speaker 1: makes us us. You know. I feel like we're such 400 00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 1: a copy paste society here that it sometimes makes me 401 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 1: sad because we're losing all these really beautiful, ethnic, wonderful 402 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,400 Speaker 1: parts of our lineage by the way we're changing all 403 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,560 Speaker 1: that to say, I do get injections. I love botox. 404 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:47,760 Speaker 1: I can't get enough. Um amen, sister, I mean nothing. 405 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:52,040 Speaker 1: A lip never hurt anybody. Listen, there's nothing wrong with 406 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: slowing down the aging process. And you know the funny 407 00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: part is my specialty is really brand and plastic facelik. 408 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,520 Speaker 1: So this is all I do all the long. The 409 00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:05,000 Speaker 1: idea is this that, um, you know, obviously, when we 410 00:24:05,040 --> 00:24:08,080 Speaker 1: look at someone are our brain takes the better half 411 00:24:08,200 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 1: and naturally replicates it. And that's why the common phrase 412 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:12,840 Speaker 1: they look better in person. Most people hate themselves and 413 00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,479 Speaker 1: photos because it doesn't do that. When you look at 414 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,200 Speaker 1: the nose it's a secondary characteristic, believe it or not. 415 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:20,399 Speaker 1: And that's why when you wear a mask, all your 416 00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:23,440 Speaker 1: friends and family know exactly who you are because they 417 00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,800 Speaker 1: see this. Um you know, and as a society, I 418 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:34,000 Speaker 1: think that will always be prevalent. U making minor changes 419 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,000 Speaker 1: does not change your ethnicity, does not change your personality. 420 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:42,080 Speaker 1: That it may give you some more confidence and undeniably 421 00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,840 Speaker 1: there's no reason for it. But UM, I think the 422 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: when we start as a whole and say, look, you're 423 00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:55,120 Speaker 1: fine if you do, you're fine if you don't, that's 424 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 1: a different ball game. I think right now society is 425 00:24:58,560 --> 00:25:02,320 Speaker 1: saying this is what has beautiful. Uh, put this filter 426 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:05,720 Speaker 1: on to make yourself more beautiful. And that's where we're 427 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:10,160 Speaker 1: kind of, you know again, running off that track. And uh, 428 00:25:10,760 --> 00:25:13,960 Speaker 1: I will never ever say if there's anything wrong with 429 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,359 Speaker 1: if you say, look, I just want to change my 430 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,679 Speaker 1: nose a little bit or do by all means, that's 431 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 1: that is what I do. That's my job. But the 432 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,239 Speaker 1: when I look at some of these little kids, and 433 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 1: even I see five or six year olds, they point 434 00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,919 Speaker 1: things out and say, why, you know, why is that 435 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,560 Speaker 1: person like that or why you know? I think teaching 436 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 1: them early that we're all different, we're all unique, and 437 00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 1: we're all special, we're all beautiful. Uh. It gives you 438 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:46,680 Speaker 1: that confidence. So then when we get into our teenage years, 439 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,320 Speaker 1: no one is really You don't see that group off 440 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,160 Speaker 1: in the corner that doesn't talk to anyone because they're 441 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,639 Speaker 1: you know, they've been shamed so much that they can't 442 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,479 Speaker 1: express their feelings or personality. Um, you know, we have 443 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 1: less mental health issues, I believe as a result of that. 444 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,720 Speaker 1: And so once we can make it past those teen years, 445 00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 1: you know, the world's royster. You can now it's a 446 00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 1: different mentality, and so you know, you can change anything 447 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,879 Speaker 1: about yourself. It's for yourself. And I think you know, 448 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: as an example, we'll have patients that come in and 449 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,919 Speaker 1: the husband or wife is saying, Okay, he needs this 450 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: or she needs this, this, this, this this, and you're 451 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 1: looking at them thinking, uh, you know, I'm gonna let 452 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:35,920 Speaker 1: them talk for a second just so they can tell 453 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 1: me what they true want, because um, you know it 454 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,919 Speaker 1: just puts a bad taste. Well, yeah, they also need 455 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 1: a lawyer work. Returning would be wonderful. And everything that 456 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 1: I wanted to do is truly just for myself. The 457 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,200 Speaker 1: nose wouldn't be a new nose. I don't ever want 458 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,960 Speaker 1: to look like a different person. I just want to 459 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: look I want to look like maybe I didn't make 460 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 1: up a little different. And I think that's exactly you know, 461 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:05,960 Speaker 1: it's you know, well, it's a permanent confluence. How old 462 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:08,959 Speaker 1: are your kids. I have twin boys that are six 463 00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,000 Speaker 1: and a half and I have a little religious from five. Yeah, 464 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,280 Speaker 1: with our daughters, um Jana and I have talked about 465 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,800 Speaker 1: this a lot too, because like, I never want to 466 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 1: not look like my kids either, and I've done a 467 00:27:20,800 --> 00:27:24,800 Speaker 1: really good job of dominating the gene pool, and so 468 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:26,680 Speaker 1: they look a lot like me. And I'm like, well, 469 00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: I never want us to look not like we're related. 470 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 1: So I think that's also really important too, and I 471 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:33,560 Speaker 1: would I'd have to be really careful about how I 472 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:35,959 Speaker 1: approached it. I think your view on everything is so 473 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:39,560 Speaker 1: beautiful and wonderful, though, because it is a little bit frustrating. 474 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 1: We live in this society where everything is so copy paste. 475 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,399 Speaker 1: I mean, I have like a trainer, I'm working now, 476 00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,920 Speaker 1: I can't get my butt any higher, I can't get 477 00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,560 Speaker 1: my hips anything, And then you find out all these 478 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:51,800 Speaker 1: cheats that everyone's doing and you're like, well, this is 479 00:27:51,840 --> 00:27:55,440 Speaker 1: apples and oranges. This isn't fair. I'm pretty open about 480 00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: the injectables and stuff like that online just because I 481 00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 1: do think. You know, I've got girls in my hometown going, oh, 482 00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 1: well you never age, and I'm like, listen, you can 483 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 1: be a bedroom a button too. You just have to 484 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,520 Speaker 1: find the right person. Yes, I mean, cat, you're I 485 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:12,840 Speaker 1: mean I as an older even you've obviously got a 486 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:15,400 Speaker 1: little bit older of kids too. It's so I mean, 487 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,359 Speaker 1: you have to probably see that in the social media 488 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:20,840 Speaker 1: aspect and that's probably got to, you know, be really challenging. 489 00:28:21,040 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: And I'm gonna be leaning on you too as my girls, 490 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: you know, as Jolie gets older, and it's so hard. 491 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,199 Speaker 1: So I have an eleven year old and I've actually 492 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,840 Speaker 1: been dealing with this because she does have a phone. 493 00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:34,199 Speaker 1: She did have social media, but she currently does not, 494 00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:37,159 Speaker 1: because you know, I was going through because I go 495 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: through her phone all the time, and it's like they're 496 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: literally talking about you want to curvey your girl. I'm like, 497 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,560 Speaker 1: you were eleven years old. When I was little, everyone 498 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:50,040 Speaker 1: wanted to be skinny. Like she's skinny, she's beautiful, she's 499 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: I mean all the things and it's like that you 500 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:55,440 Speaker 1: just boys want curvy your girls and girls that I 501 00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,640 Speaker 1: was just like, what is happening? Like it's it's scary 502 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,400 Speaker 1: because it starts early. Yeah, the introduction is so much younger, 503 00:29:02,680 --> 00:29:06,480 Speaker 1: and uh, you know, concepts are changing. Listen, if you 504 00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,720 Speaker 1: look at most schools, you know, unfortunate enough for my 505 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,680 Speaker 1: kids are in private school, but still the concepts that 506 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:17,800 Speaker 1: are introduced there, I think, are you know, they're they're 507 00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,680 Speaker 1: fairly young for all of these things. But that's the 508 00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,479 Speaker 1: way you know, society is going. I think, you know, 509 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:27,000 Speaker 1: we have more information, more education, more you know, it's 510 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,479 Speaker 1: kind of drinking out of a fire hydrant as opposed 511 00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: to you know, a water found and um, that's you know, 512 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 1: it's inevitable, and I think there has to be a 513 00:29:36,920 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: way to teach it the right way. Um, Otherwise, you know, 514 00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 1: we're going to run into the same concepts over and 515 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:47,720 Speaker 1: over and over. And I think as society we're doing that. 516 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:53,840 Speaker 1: We're slowly going down that path. It's repeated, repetitive. You know. Um, 517 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:56,520 Speaker 1: we were as a whole, we're looking for change, but 518 00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 1: we're doing the same things. And I think that this 519 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:03,880 Speaker 1: is one way of trying to introduce the concept early 520 00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: and you know, whether it works or not, we'll we'll 521 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:10,240 Speaker 1: definitely see. So with your with your children's book that 522 00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,680 Speaker 1: you wrote, I mean, I love, I love the whole 523 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: concept of it, obviously self love. Can you just give 524 00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 1: like a an overview of about the book and and 525 00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,840 Speaker 1: obviously I'm gonna get it to read my girl every 526 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,760 Speaker 1: single night so she knows, you know what, I'll send 527 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 1: it to you. Oh support, we support here, thank you. Um, 528 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:36,160 Speaker 1: you know, so the book Body Positivity ultimately is nobody 529 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: is the same, and so it introduces several little kids 530 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:46,160 Speaker 1: that all have our different shapes, sizes, ethnicities, and the 531 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,719 Speaker 1: ultimate goal at the end is to teach that, um, 532 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,960 Speaker 1: you know, we're all unique, we're all special, and we're 533 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:55,400 Speaker 1: all beautiful. And usually people who are bullies have something 534 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: going on in their own lives, so we even have 535 00:30:57,680 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: to turn around and offer compassion and so, uh, you know, ultimately, 536 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,760 Speaker 1: the end of the book is that you know, we're 537 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 1: all special, we're all unique, and that we should embrace that. Um. 538 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:13,160 Speaker 1: It's interesting because I have two books in the work 539 00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,680 Speaker 1: and it works. And really these are three things that 540 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,280 Speaker 1: I really tried doing with you know, my wife and 541 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,520 Speaker 1: I do with our kids, and um, the other two are. 542 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 1: You know, being a gentleman isn't easy, and being a 543 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,960 Speaker 1: lady isn't easy. You know, we're reintroducing some older or 544 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:32,480 Speaker 1: ancient concepts, but it's what we do. You know. My 545 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:37,200 Speaker 1: wife's a Texan. Our kids say yes, certa, yes, ma'am. Um, 546 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:43,000 Speaker 1: you know, and and we expect. You know, it's not 547 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:48,440 Speaker 1: emotional maturity, but it's um you know, obedience, you know, 548 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,520 Speaker 1: being respectful. Um, you know things like that. So I 549 00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:56,720 Speaker 1: forget I would just put it into book form. Well 550 00:31:56,760 --> 00:32:01,120 Speaker 1: you're a Midwest guy that, yes, I was. I loved 551 00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:08,960 Speaker 1: that Girls minus Cats A Southerner, but Michigan girls good stock, 552 00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:17,800 Speaker 1: right there, hard workers, our listeners find you and the book. Um, 553 00:32:17,840 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: so you can order the book on Amazon. The publishing 554 00:32:21,440 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: company is called p D i C. Puppy Dogs and 555 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:28,480 Speaker 1: ice Cream, and uh, you know you can always find 556 00:32:28,520 --> 00:32:33,040 Speaker 1: it via our website, which is Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery 557 00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 1: Group dot com. You know, I think it's it's again, 558 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,960 Speaker 1: it's kind of an oxyb. We're putting these two together. 559 00:32:39,080 --> 00:32:41,959 Speaker 1: But if you if you peel back a few the layers, 560 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:46,600 Speaker 1: it's it isn't it's conngruent with my philosophy and the 561 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 1: way I practice plastic surgery. I love that. Well, thank 562 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 1: you for coming out on wind down and maybe I 563 00:32:54,880 --> 00:33:00,080 Speaker 1: see in Los Angeles anytimes. Listen. I would love to 564 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,960 Speaker 1: to have you, so uh, definitely definitely stopped by when 565 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,720 Speaker 1: you're in Oh, I'm stopping by. Look for my chart doctor, 566 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:11,080 Speaker 1: I will, I will take care. I have a great 567 00:33:11,080 --> 00:33:23,720 Speaker 1: rest of your week. We get all right. Hey, I'm 568 00:33:23,800 --> 00:33:26,560 Speaker 1: Lance Bass, host of the new I Heart podcast Frosted 569 00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,200 Speaker 1: Tips with Lance Bass. The hardest thing could be knowing 570 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,040 Speaker 1: who to turn to when questions arise, or times get tough, 571 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,960 Speaker 1: or you're at the end of the road. Okay, I 572 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,760 Speaker 1: see what you're doing. Do you ever think to yourself, 573 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:39,520 Speaker 1: what advice would Lance Bass and my favorite boy bands 574 00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:42,400 Speaker 1: give me in this situation? If you do, you've come 575 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 1: to the right place because I'm here to help this. 576 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,880 Speaker 1: I promise you seriously, I swear, and you won't have 577 00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,880 Speaker 1: to send an S O S because I'll be there 578 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:55,920 Speaker 1: for you, and so will my husband Michael. Hey, that's me. Yeah, 579 00:33:55,960 --> 00:33:58,320 Speaker 1: we know that. Michael and a different hot sexy teen 580 00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,000 Speaker 1: crush boy bander each week to I do through life 581 00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,320 Speaker 1: step by step, not another one. Kids, relationships, life in 582 00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,200 Speaker 1: general can get messy. You may be thinking, this is 583 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:10,759 Speaker 1: the story of my life. Just stop now. If so, 584 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:15,560 Speaker 1: tell everybody, yeah, everybody about my new podcast, and make 585 00:34:15,600 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 1: sure to listen so we'll never ever have to say 586 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:21,400 Speaker 1: bye bye bye. Listen to Frosted Tips with a Lance 587 00:34:21,440 --> 00:34:24,200 Speaker 1: Bass on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast or 588 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:29,959 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcasts. All right, he was great. 589 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:35,160 Speaker 1: I love you can't wait. I can't I can't even imagine, Like, 590 00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,359 Speaker 1: you literally have the body I would want, like the 591 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:41,000 Speaker 1: perfect body, and they're over here going you all just 592 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,400 Speaker 1: want curbing on. They want the Kardashians, Like that's what's 593 00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:47,839 Speaker 1: in everyone's mind now, and that's not even real. That's 594 00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:51,120 Speaker 1: not like they have plants and they have things to 595 00:34:51,200 --> 00:34:55,640 Speaker 1: take and I'm like, uh, but yeah, we're talking a 596 00:34:55,640 --> 00:35:00,360 Speaker 1: lot about that. It's interesting because I was so only 597 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:03,359 Speaker 1: you know, her birthday is coming up this month and 598 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,840 Speaker 1: she has been asking for a phone, and I'm like, 599 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,239 Speaker 1: baby girl, you are seven, like and so, but in 600 00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:11,880 Speaker 1: my mind I'm like, well, like, maybe I can just 601 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 1: get her a phone to like just make so that 602 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,319 Speaker 1: way I don't have to always communicate with my ax. 603 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,000 Speaker 1: I can just be like I can just call her, 604 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 1: she can call her dad when you know, when she's 605 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:25,120 Speaker 1: with me. And but I'm like, I don't even want 606 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:27,959 Speaker 1: her to have access to I mean, obviously I would 607 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,279 Speaker 1: not have her have anything on there ever, you know 608 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,960 Speaker 1: what I mean, like until she's thirty. But like I 609 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:34,480 Speaker 1: still like, I don't even want her to have a 610 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:38,080 Speaker 1: phone in her hand because I feel like it's just well, 611 00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,800 Speaker 1: first of all, suggestion I'm getting RANDI like the gizmo 612 00:35:41,880 --> 00:35:45,239 Speaker 1: watch so I can call, you know, they can call 613 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,520 Speaker 1: on their watch and they can do all that. I'm 614 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:51,600 Speaker 1: actually getting her that today. But also like I did 615 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 1: it too early with any I will own that. I 616 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,879 Speaker 1: will be the first to say with you know, we 617 00:35:57,880 --> 00:35:59,719 Speaker 1: were at cheer comps and I wanted to be able 618 00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,759 Speaker 1: to under I want if I lost her, Like there 619 00:36:01,760 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 1: were reasons I did it, but I did it too early. 620 00:36:04,520 --> 00:36:08,480 Speaker 1: How old? How old was she she was? She had 621 00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,959 Speaker 1: an iPod, which is basically kind of what you're saying 622 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: where they can just do a few things on it 623 00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,879 Speaker 1: at eight. Okay, she started cheering when she was five. 624 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:18,640 Speaker 1: It was too early. I shouldn't have done it. And 625 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:20,520 Speaker 1: then I think nine. I think I got her a 626 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,200 Speaker 1: phone and had a letter her on social media then, 627 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,000 Speaker 1: and I let her on social media too early too. 628 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,400 Speaker 1: I mean, I will own all of that. I watch 629 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 1: all of it, so in my mind, it's like I'm 630 00:36:28,880 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: keeping an eye on it, which is better than a lot. 631 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:33,680 Speaker 1: I'm learning a lot of people don't keep an eye 632 00:36:33,719 --> 00:36:37,880 Speaker 1: on anything. Um. But you know, it's just this fifth 633 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:42,080 Speaker 1: grade year, y'all. They start like, you know, it's everything 634 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,840 Speaker 1: we were talking about probably and bickering about and talking 635 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,920 Speaker 1: about at school or on the weekends, but now it's 636 00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:52,239 Speaker 1: on the phone. We also went as inundated, like we 637 00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 1: didn't have you know, I remember watching like there was 638 00:36:55,239 --> 00:36:58,000 Speaker 1: some study because I went to school for marketing communication. 639 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,120 Speaker 1: I remember there was some study that showed us the 640 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:02,959 Speaker 1: amount of ads or the amount of images we saw 641 00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:06,160 Speaker 1: train the perfect body image by the time we had 642 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:07,920 Speaker 1: a certain age. And I can't remember any of that 643 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,560 Speaker 1: because I don't remember anything anymore because I have mom dementia. 644 00:37:10,640 --> 00:37:12,920 Speaker 1: But I remember being an astronomical amount. And that was 645 00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:17,680 Speaker 1: before social media came. So now we are like these 646 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:22,279 Speaker 1: girls are, I mean everywhere that they are, even if 647 00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:24,640 Speaker 1: they're not on social media, their friends are even if 648 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,960 Speaker 1: they don't have a phone, their friends do and they're 649 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,040 Speaker 1: sending that's the thing. Like she has several friends, well, 650 00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,440 Speaker 1: I'd say maybe a few friends that didn't have a 651 00:37:32,440 --> 00:37:35,239 Speaker 1: phone until like now or whatever. There I mean, there's 652 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,279 Speaker 1: a group chat kids on it. I'm just like, you 653 00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 1: were opening yourself up. Because then people start not necessarily bullying. 654 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:45,319 Speaker 1: I won't say I've seen actual like bullying, but they 655 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,680 Speaker 1: start kind of being you know, like it's not okay, 656 00:37:48,680 --> 00:37:50,319 Speaker 1: but like we all did it, you know, kind of 657 00:37:50,320 --> 00:37:52,400 Speaker 1: in our like kind of being mean to that person 658 00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: or that person in a way. Maybe we didn't all 659 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,080 Speaker 1: do it, but we all had our But it's now 660 00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:58,640 Speaker 1: it's it's on text message. I'm like so and says 661 00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,040 Speaker 1: can screenshot that and in it, and so it's like 662 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:03,760 Speaker 1: you have to understand what you're putting in writing also 663 00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,200 Speaker 1: can live with you for the rest of your life, 664 00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:08,399 Speaker 1: you know. So it's just there's so many lessons, there's 665 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:12,719 Speaker 1: so many things in it, and I hate for them 666 00:38:12,760 --> 00:38:15,480 Speaker 1: to feel out of the loop. Like if I took 667 00:38:15,480 --> 00:38:19,719 Speaker 1: her phone away right now, it would definitely change her 668 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 1: dynamic good or bad. You know. I mean, everyone communicates 669 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 1: on on there um, but I don't know. Had she 670 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: not had one, I don't know, maybe it wouldn't. I 671 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,960 Speaker 1: don't know. It's hard. It's so hard. I don't even 672 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,439 Speaker 1: That's the thing. That's that's where I'm like struggling because 673 00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,200 Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, she'll get made fun of if 674 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 1: she doesn't so then she'll have a hard time in school. 675 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,600 Speaker 1: And if she does have it, then there's issues there. 676 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 1: And it's like I'm thinking back to like, you know, 677 00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:48,640 Speaker 1: even in middle school. Yeah, middle school's tough. High school 678 00:38:48,640 --> 00:38:52,360 Speaker 1: there was some like you know, I remember, I remember 679 00:38:52,400 --> 00:38:56,799 Speaker 1: there was like this um uh powder puff football thing 680 00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:59,000 Speaker 1: and that there was like this list of the hit 681 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:01,759 Speaker 1: that the people I wanted to make sure they hit 682 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:08,320 Speaker 1: and I was on that list, and I was like, so, 683 00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,759 Speaker 1: um that was that was I mean, I remember that. 684 00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,680 Speaker 1: But I just look, I can't imagine having social media, 685 00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 1: and it's like a part of me is like I 686 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:19,239 Speaker 1: don't even want July to ever have that. But an 687 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,880 Speaker 1: at the same time, it's it's like I wish social 688 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:28,000 Speaker 1: media wasn't for comparison and you know, being being nasty 689 00:39:28,040 --> 00:39:31,480 Speaker 1: because the comments that people say. I mean, I've now 690 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:34,480 Speaker 1: developed at least thick enough skin. It still hurts to 691 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,680 Speaker 1: read negative comments. I mean, we don't like it. You know, 692 00:39:36,719 --> 00:39:38,680 Speaker 1: they said things about all of us and it's not nice. 693 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,560 Speaker 1: And it's like to have your daughter, our daughter, my daughter, 694 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 1: or my son read those things about themselves and then 695 00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 1: you know the everything else that kids talk about that's 696 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,880 Speaker 1: scary and I'm just like, oh, I just that piece 697 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,000 Speaker 1: of parenting. I'm like, I don't even know what. I 698 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,279 Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know what to do, like, and 699 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,800 Speaker 1: I haven't really dealt with like the negative comments on 700 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:03,640 Speaker 1: social media yet. I watch it so closely that like, 701 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,120 Speaker 1: you know, she hasn't been like attacked or bullied on 702 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:10,239 Speaker 1: social media yet. But what I'm testing and really paying 703 00:40:10,239 --> 00:40:12,760 Speaker 1: attention to. It's kind of Christien what you said, because 704 00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:16,200 Speaker 1: they're just scrolling, They're just watching video after video after video, 705 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,680 Speaker 1: and I'm like, what are they saying? What's getting in 706 00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,440 Speaker 1: their head to cause them to talk and think the 707 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:25,040 Speaker 1: way that they are. That's kind of where I'm at. More. 708 00:40:25,400 --> 00:40:27,239 Speaker 1: I think once they get middle school, high school, they 709 00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:30,520 Speaker 1: start bullying more on social media. For sure. We have 710 00:40:30,680 --> 00:40:33,759 Speaker 1: friends of ours that have um, she thought she was 711 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:36,520 Speaker 1: and this is, like I would say, more so just 712 00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:38,279 Speaker 1: a heads up, and I'm sure there's people listening that 713 00:40:38,320 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 1: would already know this, but I was like, I don't 714 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,799 Speaker 1: know why it shocked me. But we had friends of 715 00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,120 Speaker 1: ours who have a high schooler and she was like, oh, 716 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,600 Speaker 1: I'm on, I follow her and she always has this 717 00:40:49,719 --> 00:40:52,200 Speaker 1: like wonderful content and she's so cute and the people 718 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,480 Speaker 1: that follow her suite and blah lah lah. And then 719 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,840 Speaker 1: she finds out there's another account. Oh yeah, and so 720 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,160 Speaker 1: then she's like, well, I don't have I don't have 721 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,480 Speaker 1: access to that account of my daughters and then that account. 722 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,600 Speaker 1: I mean, I've got to be honest, it's scary to 723 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:11,160 Speaker 1: me how these girls are dressing. It's scary to me 724 00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:15,000 Speaker 1: they're learning it also innocently, truly, because it's just all 725 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:18,000 Speaker 1: around them, like the sexy, the crop tops. It's what 726 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:20,719 Speaker 1: I'm wearing a top top right now. And I feel 727 00:41:20,719 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 1: like a bad mom when I wear because because I'm like, 728 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:23,919 Speaker 1: what am I showing? Then I'm what am I showing 729 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,879 Speaker 1: my daughter? It's it's a hard my boobs are out. 730 00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 1: I'm like, it gets harder as that gets older, to 731 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:34,360 Speaker 1: be like, hey, you can't wear that if you're wearing 732 00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,239 Speaker 1: it like I do. Think that that can get but 733 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:37,839 Speaker 1: it's also kind of like there's a lot of things 734 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,319 Speaker 1: I can't do I can do, so it's kind of like, 735 00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:42,520 Speaker 1: I don't know, it's a hard I think we just 736 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,080 Speaker 1: have to say slow and steady and just really aware 737 00:41:45,200 --> 00:41:47,880 Speaker 1: and real open. I think the conversation, I mean, listen, 738 00:41:48,719 --> 00:41:51,280 Speaker 1: Jane and I have our oldest love is seven today, 739 00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:56,680 Speaker 1: So it's not like I'm not I just it overwhelms 740 00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:58,560 Speaker 1: me so much. Everyone's like, oh, I can't wait till 741 00:41:58,560 --> 00:41:59,840 Speaker 1: my kids are older and they can do this and 742 00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,280 Speaker 1: they can do that, and I am like, freeze time please, 743 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,400 Speaker 1: because everything you're talking about overwhelms me so much it 744 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,200 Speaker 1: makes my throat close. I think you just have to 745 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,440 Speaker 1: be slow and steady, good mom friends, friends that have 746 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,640 Speaker 1: gone before us, the moms that know the tricks and 747 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,160 Speaker 1: the apps and the things they can watch for. I 748 00:42:15,160 --> 00:42:17,600 Speaker 1: think that as long as you're paying attention and you're aware, 749 00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,560 Speaker 1: you're already leaps and bounds above ahead of everybody else. 750 00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:23,320 Speaker 1: And I hate to say that, but I've been disappointed 751 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:26,480 Speaker 1: and shocked to see how many people don't pay attention. 752 00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 1: M Yeah, and I like and I like you. You 753 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,880 Speaker 1: said to Chris leaning on like it's a you know, 754 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,080 Speaker 1: Catherine will be leaning on you heavily for you know, 755 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:38,800 Speaker 1: things that you know, because obviously you've got an older daughter. 756 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:41,440 Speaker 1: So I mean, I love the gizmo gizmo watch idea 757 00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,480 Speaker 1: versus you know, the other thing. And yeah, and I 758 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,080 Speaker 1: think something I try to do too, Like every morning 759 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,960 Speaker 1: and night, I'm always just like trying to reaffirm like 760 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:55,080 Speaker 1: you're beautiful, You're enough, and just ingraining that in her 761 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,160 Speaker 1: brain because I'm like, this was the pivotal six was 762 00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:01,000 Speaker 1: my childhood trauma age where I didn't feel good enough 763 00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:02,880 Speaker 1: and I felt like you know, so it's like I'm 764 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,759 Speaker 1: I'm like, all right, this is this These are the 765 00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:07,000 Speaker 1: years that I have to really do everything that I 766 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:10,920 Speaker 1: can do to like ingrain that she's like pretty and 767 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:14,760 Speaker 1: beautiful and kind and nice and like enough. And yeah, 768 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:21,640 Speaker 1: I know we all take the head. I know, it's 769 00:43:21,680 --> 00:43:23,480 Speaker 1: just because it's just scary and we have someone in 770 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,919 Speaker 1: my family who you know, obviously I won't I won't say, 771 00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,520 Speaker 1: but like she's she's in high school and you know, 772 00:43:30,360 --> 00:43:33,319 Speaker 1: even just like I don't want to live and it's 773 00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,160 Speaker 1: just like you're in high school and it's just it's 774 00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,280 Speaker 1: just it's just it's just sad, and I just wish, 775 00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,480 Speaker 1: like first, like I I love, I obviously use social 776 00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:45,359 Speaker 1: media as a as a marketing tool and as an 777 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:48,720 Speaker 1: income for my family, so that you know, I'm I'm 778 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,600 Speaker 1: grateful for social media and what it's done for for 779 00:43:52,000 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: you know, for um supporting my family. And I also 780 00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,200 Speaker 1: love that we can reach out to people and um 781 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,640 Speaker 1: kind of of do this together. But the negative, the 782 00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:05,440 Speaker 1: negative side of social media, it's like, I don't know, 783 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,200 Speaker 1: it's like I hate for it to go away, but 784 00:44:08,280 --> 00:44:11,360 Speaker 1: I just I don't want. I don't like the negative 785 00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,959 Speaker 1: side of it. As a girl who had a back 786 00:44:13,960 --> 00:44:16,760 Speaker 1: brace and hailer in seventh grade, I'm so glad social 787 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:21,719 Speaker 1: media did not exist. I cannot imagine. I mean, I 788 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:23,359 Speaker 1: know the things that were said about me just from 789 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:28,440 Speaker 1: what I heard. Imagine that's the thing you get behind me, 790 00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:32,279 Speaker 1: and uh huh, that's really scary to me. And we 791 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,480 Speaker 1: have to protect our little people because it's not even 792 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:38,239 Speaker 1: about like we try to anchor in a little bit 793 00:44:38,239 --> 00:44:40,320 Speaker 1: here like what God says about you, what mom and 794 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:42,920 Speaker 1: dad say about you, what you know, like just so 795 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,400 Speaker 1: that it's built so sturdy that you hope that that 796 00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,720 Speaker 1: first like punch or hit or like the first trauma 797 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:51,799 Speaker 1: Jenna is talking about like doesn't destroy them and but 798 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,919 Speaker 1: at all. I mean you guys, we both all three 799 00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:57,120 Speaker 1: of us, know, you collect those little tidbits over life, 800 00:44:57,600 --> 00:44:59,920 Speaker 1: tiny little chip aways, and then before you know it, 801 00:45:00,440 --> 00:45:02,879 Speaker 1: you're talking to Dr Lakey about getting a nose job 802 00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:06,040 Speaker 1: on a podcast that reaches everyone in I heart. You know, 803 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:09,000 Speaker 1: like what do you I mean, it's just I think 804 00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:13,160 Speaker 1: too something that you know, just a call out for 805 00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:16,320 Speaker 1: people that are listening, because I know there are the 806 00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:19,319 Speaker 1: Reddit trolls that come on and listen just to tear 807 00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:22,160 Speaker 1: us down and to say mean comments. So you know, 808 00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:25,720 Speaker 1: for those people and that want to go and comment, 809 00:45:26,040 --> 00:45:30,759 Speaker 1: just remember that we're all human, we all have feelings, 810 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:35,360 Speaker 1: we all like it's so much easier to be kind 811 00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:37,239 Speaker 1: because you don't know what people are going through, You 812 00:45:37,280 --> 00:45:39,640 Speaker 1: don't know what they've gone through, what they're going to 813 00:45:39,680 --> 00:45:41,399 Speaker 1: go through, and it's like it's just it's so much 814 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:44,120 Speaker 1: easier to just be kind, Like there's no like why 815 00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:47,160 Speaker 1: be hateful or hurtful or leave negative comments or be 816 00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:49,759 Speaker 1: nasty to someone or say like oh she's got this 817 00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 1: or that's you know, she's fat she's too thin, or 818 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:54,520 Speaker 1: she's got a big mess, like just be nice, Like, 819 00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:59,320 Speaker 1: I don't understand why you have to be mean because 820 00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:03,719 Speaker 1: have feelings. I would challenge the people that feel the 821 00:46:03,760 --> 00:46:07,240 Speaker 1: need to comment to take before you hit the first 822 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:11,080 Speaker 1: key in your negative comment about someone that you don't know. 823 00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,840 Speaker 1: I would just challenge you to take a look inward 824 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,480 Speaker 1: to see what it is about yourself that you dislike 825 00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:20,000 Speaker 1: that is making you feel the way you feel to 826 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:22,360 Speaker 1: reach out and be hateful to someone, because I think 827 00:46:22,760 --> 00:46:25,719 Speaker 1: that's the pause that society is missing. It feels to 828 00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:29,160 Speaker 1: me like we're so quick to judge and to listen. 829 00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,440 Speaker 1: I've been that person too. I've never really been a 830 00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:33,920 Speaker 1: mean girl. I don't think. I'm sure there's someone listening 831 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:38,680 Speaker 1: that's like out beg to differ, but I wasn't. I 832 00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:42,080 Speaker 1: was mean girl a lot, and I just look back 833 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:45,279 Speaker 1: and I'm like, listen, I don't know. I can't say 834 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:48,319 Speaker 1: her name, although it's it's literally like podcast gold if 835 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,439 Speaker 1: you could know her real name, because it's two first names, 836 00:46:50,440 --> 00:46:51,560 Speaker 1: and I refer to her as the girl with two 837 00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:53,760 Speaker 1: first names. But the girl with two first names probably 838 00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:55,680 Speaker 1: actually had a lot going on at home in high 839 00:46:55,719 --> 00:46:59,000 Speaker 1: school and I didn't know that, but I you know, 840 00:46:59,040 --> 00:47:01,359 Speaker 1: at that age, you're not like, you can't really think 841 00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:04,880 Speaker 1: that way. So I just I would just challenge, before 842 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,560 Speaker 1: you start to type, take two seconds and wonder about 843 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,799 Speaker 1: what it is about yourself or your story, or your 844 00:47:12,840 --> 00:47:16,120 Speaker 1: baggage or your hurt or whatever that makes you feel 845 00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:19,480 Speaker 1: like you want to attack someone like us for instance, 846 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:27,399 Speaker 1: or anybody. Yeah, but I love you girls, and we'll 847 00:47:27,400 --> 00:47:29,120 Speaker 1: be back next week together