WEBVTT - Stories That Will Boop Your Snoot (with James Jacobson!) 0:00:21.880 --> 0:00:25.480 Gather around fable babies and welcome back to hashtag story Time, 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:28.080 the podcast filled with everyday stories from everyday people, brought 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:30.720 to you by iHeart Radio and Curativity. I'm your host, 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:39.640 Will Snoop, Poopen mc fadden, Dogs, guys, puppies, pooches, puppers, fluffers. Wait, 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:42.480 hold on a second, fl flu furs. Fluffers are whole 0:00:42.520 --> 0:00:47.640 different thing, human's best friend. We don't deserve them, do we. 0:00:48.080 --> 0:00:51.400 You know what I've always wondered, what if our furry 0:00:51.440 --> 0:00:55.440 little friends could speak? Oh? What tales they would tell? 0:00:55.800 --> 0:00:58.440 Pun intended. I don't know if you know this about me, 0:00:58.520 --> 0:01:00.840 but I have a dog. His name is weird Gary. 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:04.040 You can follow him on Instagram at Weird Gary. And Uh, 0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.240 I've been working on something. I've been training him. I 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:10.640 I don't know if you've seen the wildly popular TikTok 0:01:10.680 --> 0:01:14.520 account of Bunny the Talking Dog, but I have set 0:01:14.560 --> 0:01:18.160 up my own elaborate system of vocabulary buttons, and I've 0:01:18.200 --> 0:01:21.800 been working with Gary for months, training him, trying to 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:25.479 get his vocabulary advanced enough. Or maybe he could tell 0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:29.119 us a little story. So let's see if it works. Okay, 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.360 let's see Gary. Come here, Come here, buddy, come on, 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:35.120 come here. Oh hey, buddy, Hey, do you want to 0:01:35.160 --> 0:01:36.919 say something? Do you want to tell a little story 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:42.600 to the fable babies? Oh? Good job. That's his favorite button, obviously. 0:01:42.640 --> 0:01:44.360 But here you go. Here's a little treat. All right, 0:01:44.440 --> 0:01:49.240 what else you got treat? Okay, here's another treat. But Gary, 0:01:49.280 --> 0:01:53.880 can you tell us a story? Okay? Yeah, I don't know. 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:57.920 Maybe maybe this isn't working. I lost the love of 0:01:58.000 --> 0:02:01.000 my life. Oh my god, it's working. He's doing it. 0:02:01.240 --> 0:02:07.280 She was a corgy named Penelope. She had a thick 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:13.040 golden coat that I could lose myself in and an 0:02:13.400 --> 0:02:19.560 ass that looked like a fresh loaf of bread. Gary, 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:25.240 you dog. We planned to run away together. It was 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:30.400 our dream to live in a little palapa on the 0:02:30.560 --> 0:02:36.040 shores of the Sea of Cortez. When she told me 0:02:36.520 --> 0:02:43.640 that she was pregnant, my heart exploded with joy. The 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:50.040 plan was to escape our yards and rendezvous at the 0:02:50.280 --> 0:02:56.440 Italian restaurant where we first met, Bucca da Bepo. Don't 0:02:56.480 --> 0:03:02.000 remember recording that button. Don't interrupt me. Pelope never made it. 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:08.160 I searched up and down Long Beach, howling her name. 0:03:09.280 --> 0:03:14.680 I was so distraught I hadn't noticed. I had wandered 0:03:14.760 --> 0:03:20.800 onto the freeway when all of a sudden, a van 0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:28.799 pulled up filled with quote unquote do gooders. They quote 0:03:28.880 --> 0:03:34.960 unquote rescued me and brought me here. Oh my god, Gary, 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.400 I am so sorry. I had I had no idea 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:43.840 quiet Harry lipped fool. I don't need your pity Penelope. 0:03:44.360 --> 0:03:50.640 If you are listening, if you've managed to figure out podcasts, 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:59.080 I miss you. Tell my puppies. I love them, Gary, 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:02.720 I just I don't know what to say. Is there 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:07.520 is there anything else you want to add? That a boy, 0:04:07.840 --> 0:04:11.560 Now we're talking, you know, believe it or not. All 0:04:11.600 --> 0:04:14.120 of this is one big setup for today's guest, Jim 0:04:14.240 --> 0:04:17.600 Jacobsen from the Dog podcast Network. And Jim joined me 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:19.400 and told me a story that had to do with Maui, 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:27.600 the supernatural and a case of sudden blindness. I am 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:30.719 I'm a massive dog lover, and for the past twenty 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:33.840 years or so, my life has gone to the dogs 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.800 and one of those entrepreneurs who had a lot of 0:04:36.880 --> 0:04:39.240 early success and built and salt some companies and did 0:04:39.279 --> 0:04:43.560 all sorts of stuff. But basically, for about twenty years now, 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:47.599 I have been focused on dog lovers and people who 0:04:47.720 --> 0:04:50.440 consider dogs, you know, they're best friends and are willing 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:52.360 to do things for their dogs that they would never 0:04:53.000 --> 0:04:57.880 do for themselves. And over the years people have wanted 0:04:57.920 --> 0:05:00.520 to ask, you know, where did this passion and start? 0:05:00.760 --> 0:05:05.080 And it really started when I was like a year 0:05:05.200 --> 0:05:07.560 or two old and I wanted a dog. And I 0:05:07.560 --> 0:05:09.960 wanted a dog, and I was promised that when I 0:05:10.000 --> 0:05:14.840 turned ten, I would get a dog. Well you can 0:05:14.880 --> 0:05:18.400 imagine when you tell a kid that that that's basically 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:21.760 all they have in their minds. So I envisioned. I was, 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:24.839 you know, I want this little white dog and I 0:05:24.880 --> 0:05:28.640 can see it, and it'll be this big, and you know, 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:31.760 and and it'll sleep with me and it'll have a 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.120 place in the bed. What was the breed that you 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:38.120 were dreaming of? I was dreaming of a Maltese, Okay, 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:40.680 of a white fluffy dog. I don't think I knew 0:05:40.720 --> 0:05:43.039 that it was a Maltese, but this is what I 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:45.560 saw in my in my mind's eye as a kid, 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:50.240 and that thing drove me to be the best little 0:05:50.240 --> 0:05:51.760 boy you know you gotta be. If you don't do this, 0:05:51.880 --> 0:05:54.440 you may not get that dog on your tenth birthday. 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:57.599 So you can imagine, well how excited and passionate I 0:05:57.680 --> 0:06:01.360 was to come down on my tenth birthday to breakfast 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:04.080 and there was this big box on in front of 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:08.719 the place, setting at the table. I was like, I 0:06:08.760 --> 0:06:10.839 did think it was a little odd because I thought 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:13.840 my parents are not great animal lovers. But it is 0:06:13.839 --> 0:06:15.400 a little weird to put a dog in a box. 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:18.760 But right, okay, I know, I know, I know, I know. 0:06:19.440 --> 0:06:22.640 I opened it up and it was a tape recorder. 0:06:22.720 --> 0:06:26.400 No dog. I got a tape recorder for my tenth birthday, 0:06:26.960 --> 0:06:29.720 and I'm sure that set me up for a life 0:06:29.960 --> 0:06:33.479 of psychological lots of therapy. Well did you did you 0:06:33.520 --> 0:06:36.800 immediately turn the tape recorder on and record to your 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.960 your sobs? Or I did not sobby because I was 0:06:41.000 --> 0:06:43.680 an only child and it wasn't appropriate because I was 0:06:43.800 --> 0:06:46.520 raised in a pretty strict family. So I did go 0:06:46.600 --> 0:06:49.520 around like making tapes, which I still have to this day. 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:52.640 I was like, or, or, I love this recorder just 0:06:52.680 --> 0:06:57.159 because I was. I couldn't communicate that the depth of 0:06:58.320 --> 0:07:01.760 my sadness and my soul for not cotton the thing. Well, 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:05.440 maybe maybe that laid the groundwork for your later for 0:07:05.520 --> 0:07:07.840 your podcasting. I mean, this is where like I think 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:10.840 Sigmund Freud or whoever the equivalent is today would say, 0:07:10.720 --> 0:07:13.040 is I see, that's the reason that you want to 0:07:13.080 --> 0:07:16.840 exist today. So a little dr ruth in there, that's 0:07:16.880 --> 0:07:23.239 a little It's true. Um, so many years have elapsed 0:07:23.280 --> 0:07:26.120 since my tenth birthday, many many, many many years, and 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:28.200 as I said, for the last twenty of those years, 0:07:28.200 --> 0:07:32.960 I have been focused on dogs. The first heart dog 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:36.000 that I ever got was well, I'm sure this will 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:41.960 be surprising, a Maltese. Al Right, you got the Maltese. 0:07:42.040 --> 0:07:45.480 I finally got the Maltese. I've gotten the Maltese before. 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:49.160 I was living with this girl and she one of 0:07:49.160 --> 0:07:52.720 the Maltese. We ended up getting a Maltese. We broke up. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.840 It was a horrible year. We broke up. My best 0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:57.360 friend committed suicide. She took the dog. It was. It 0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:03.120 was one of those horrible things. But on Valentine's Day, 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:07.800 I got on Maltese and I named it Maui, which 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:10.000 is sort of which is my favorite place on earth. 0:08:10.560 --> 0:08:12.200 And that was at a time when I was living 0:08:12.240 --> 0:08:15.360 in Washington, d C. And just thought about it'd be 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:18.480 so cold to live in Maui. Um, and how how 0:08:18.520 --> 0:08:21.840 old are you now at this point? When I okay, 0:08:21.920 --> 0:08:25.280 so it's been you know, at this point fifteen years 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:31.280 of pining over this more yeah, more like mid like fifteen, 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.520 like damn, it was probably you know, it's been a while. 0:08:34.520 --> 0:08:36.800 It's been a while, but I finally got the small 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.240 t s and I loved it and I had you know, 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.920 I was an early dot comer and Mauie would go 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:47.839 to the office with me and uh, and we kind 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:50.440 of engaged in this strange activity because I have been 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:53.280 a lifelong meditator, which is a whole another story, but 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:57.600 basically I taught myself how to meditate when I was 0:08:57.640 --> 0:09:01.000 also an equally small child and um, and not with 0:09:01.040 --> 0:09:04.080 any sort of dogmatic approach, just like I would, I 0:09:04.080 --> 0:09:06.319 would meditate it, go into silence and just sit. Being 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:09.760 an only child, you do that. And uh, Mauie had 0:09:09.800 --> 0:09:12.520 this wonderful habit of jumping up on my lap when 0:09:12.520 --> 0:09:14.360 I did, and she really liked to meditate with me, 0:09:14.400 --> 0:09:17.360 which is kind of cool. And so she got me 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:21.480 through a lot of really rough times in business and 0:09:21.520 --> 0:09:25.440 then well, fast forward through this story, but basically I 0:09:25.559 --> 0:09:29.480 ended up commuting for many years between Washington d C 0:09:30.480 --> 0:09:34.720 and Maui, Hawaii, um seventy two trips over thirteen years. 0:09:35.200 --> 0:09:38.439 But I finally and one of the reasons that I 0:09:38.480 --> 0:09:43.800 couldn't move to Mauie earlier full time was because Hawaii 0:09:43.880 --> 0:09:47.440 had this quarantine law that said you you have to 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.240 put your dog in quarantine. At one point it was 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:52.240 ninety days, and sixty days and then thirty days. And 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:54.040 at that point I was living in Colorado. I had 0:09:54.040 --> 0:09:56.360 sold my company to a company in Colorado, and I 0:09:56.400 --> 0:09:57.679 had to be there for a year and a half. 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.400 It was very cold and snowy, and I looked down 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.440 at my dog one day and I said, the snow 0:10:02.520 --> 0:10:05.200 was drifted to the literally to the top of the 0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:07.920 of the sliding door. We are getting out of this place. 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:09.880 We're gonna go to someplace where we're going to finally 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:13.480 go to your namesake. So I helped to orchestrate a 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:18.880 political campaign in Hawaii to enable the governor to effectively 0:10:18.960 --> 0:10:21.480 changed the law that had been on the books longer 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:26.439 than Hawaii had been a state, and in two thousand three, 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:32.080 Maui and I moved to Maui. Wow. I wonder what 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:36.360 was going through Maui's mind at this point. I think 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:42.400 she really dug it um. And this is kind of 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:48.880 where are scary story begins. So seven days after arriving 0:10:49.080 --> 0:10:53.320 here on Maui, after working really hard to get here, 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:58.319 she goes blind, like instantly, blind like it wasn't a 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.280 it wasn't a waning thing, but just like one day 0:11:01.679 --> 0:11:06.600 she just couldn't see. Oh no, And I was very odd. 0:11:06.760 --> 0:11:09.439 And then I went I had met like a day 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:11.319 or two earlier in the beach, this guy who was 0:11:11.320 --> 0:11:13.960 a veterinarian. So he was therefore in my bed because 0:11:13.960 --> 0:11:17.520 I didn't know anyone here. Uh and uh so we 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:19.400 went to the vat and he said, no, your dog 0:11:19.600 --> 0:11:22.800 is blind, and it's happened sometimes it's gonna be this thing. 0:11:22.840 --> 0:11:26.320 I think they're like, just go home, and so I would. 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:30.360 I went home, and uh, you know, started to google 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:32.079 all the things that you can do for blind dogs. 0:11:32.080 --> 0:11:34.760 You put perfume on furniture to help them. Mariana way 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:36.240 around the house. But of course this was a brand 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:38.800 new house that my furniture had not yet arrived. There 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.800 was a big empty house and I have a blind dog, 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:45.600 and I did the only thing that I knew how 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.679 to do. When times are tough, you meditate. So now 0:11:49.760 --> 0:11:52.160 he came and sat on my lap and we meditated, 0:11:52.280 --> 0:11:55.240 and they just like, okay, there's a purpose to all 0:11:55.280 --> 0:12:00.680 of this. And then the doorbell rang and it was 0:12:00.840 --> 0:12:04.079 some kids, and Maui shot up out of my lap 0:12:04.720 --> 0:12:06.520 ran through the hall all the way upstairs to the 0:12:06.520 --> 0:12:08.760 door without like not the way a blind dog would 0:12:08.760 --> 0:12:11.960 do it. Clearly her sight had come back, which was 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:16.280 a really freaky thing. And so I went I called 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:19.600 the vat and I said, um, MAUI can see. And 0:12:19.640 --> 0:12:22.559 he's like, now he knows. I'm just a whack a 0:12:22.600 --> 0:12:26.600 doodle person, right, like people moved to Hawaii who are 0:12:27.600 --> 0:12:30.880 touched sometimes and as this guy I met on the 0:12:30.880 --> 0:12:33.800 beach and yeah, okay, your dog right just examinedly. This 0:12:33.840 --> 0:12:36.280 guy went to like Cornell vs. One of the top 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:38.360 bet squalls in the country, and he was like, m 0:12:38.800 --> 0:12:41.240 I don't think so, so bring her in. I'm like, 0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:43.000 and I just paid him a bunch of money to 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:44.680 tell me my dog was blind. And I was like, 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.959 and he could tell my hesitancy, and he also thought 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:50.960 I was weird and he just wanted to figure out 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:53.240 what was going on. I said, I won't charge you, 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.520 just come in. Let me see. So I brought her 0:12:55.559 --> 0:12:59.480 in and he was like, huh, yeah, I don't know, 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:02.160 this is weird. I gotta look this one up. So 0:13:02.360 --> 0:13:05.920 he did. Later on, we find out she has this 0:13:06.080 --> 0:13:08.000 kind of rare thing that may have been a result 0:13:08.000 --> 0:13:10.640 of all the rabies vaccine that she had to get 0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:13.640 to get here. So anyway, so she had this waning 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:22.959 waxing and waning eyes side that I lived with. As 0:13:22.960 --> 0:13:26.440 I said, it was seven days after she had arrived here, 0:13:26.480 --> 0:13:28.559 because there was a monumental day when I arrived here 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.520 in July two thousand three, and I was like, I 0:13:31.640 --> 0:13:36.520 knew that was significant. And then I started thinking about 0:13:36.559 --> 0:13:42.240 the significance of seven, and throughout Maui's life, seven seemed 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:45.960 so important. She would do take out, as I called it, 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:48.839 where she would go to her fruit bowl, and as 0:13:48.920 --> 0:13:50.839 Maltese do, they would put a bunch of kibble in 0:13:50.880 --> 0:13:52.480 their mouth and then kind of walk a few steps 0:13:52.480 --> 0:13:54.680 away and drop it on the floor. And it was 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:58.800 always seven kibbles. That's exactly how I eat. But you know, 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:00.280 it's a common thing and you should do it with 0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:02.480 Captain crunch or any type of thing like that. You 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:04.480 just reach in and put it on the floor. But 0:14:04.520 --> 0:14:06.120 she would never eat out of the bowl. She would 0:14:06.120 --> 0:14:09.520 like reach in and always pick seven, which is kind 0:14:09.520 --> 0:14:12.480 of tough. I mean, could you put seven coronalism? So 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.680 she she she she did that, and I was it 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.720 was always a weird thing. And when she would poop, 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:25.000 she would spin around exactly seven times. She also do 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:29.560 that the same. It's a common thing. I totally yeah, 0:14:29.560 --> 0:14:33.160 you should talk to your mom about that. But um, 0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.600 we had all these toys for for for Maui, and 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:40.080 there were of course seven toys that she played with 0:14:40.280 --> 0:14:45.800 the others, a dozen nurse others never got touched. Only seven. Um. 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:50.840 She would wake me up every morning at seven am. 0:14:50.960 --> 0:14:53.400 She likes seven. This was this was this was a 0:14:53.400 --> 0:14:58.720 seven dog her number. Fast forward. I was here in Hawaii. 0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:00.040 I was like, I didn't know what to do. I 0:15:00.160 --> 0:15:02.080 ended up writing a book called How to Meditate with 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:05.600 Your Dog, And we did you know? I was on 0:15:05.680 --> 0:15:08.760 CNN and Jay Leno and flew on Oprah's jet and 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.000 did all sorts of things to promote that book. We 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:13.800 did an early viral video. It sort of cemented my 0:15:13.800 --> 0:15:16.360 whole I love dogs. I am going to make my 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:20.480 career about dogs. And it led to other things, including 0:15:20.680 --> 0:15:23.880 what I do today with Dog Podcast Network. But she 0:15:25.080 --> 0:15:27.640 always was like this. The seven kept coming in and 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:31.560 coming in and coming in. Well. As she got older, 0:15:32.880 --> 0:15:37.760 she her her vision did dissipate again and she went 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:41.440 totally blind. And at that point I had built sort 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.160 of a following among dog lovers because of the book. 0:15:44.280 --> 0:15:47.000 And and we did one of the first viral videos 0:15:47.040 --> 0:15:50.120 on dogs ever before you existed. We had we're gonna 0:15:50.120 --> 0:15:52.800 have to find that video and it was it was 0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:54.920 It was really a sweet thing to promote the book. 0:15:55.520 --> 0:15:58.840 And um I had this big audience and I would 0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:04.280 tell them through newsletters and through some videos that I did, 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:08.520 um that you know, Marie was dying and this was 0:16:08.560 --> 0:16:10.920 the grieving process and and this is what but she 0:16:11.040 --> 0:16:16.080 and so when she finally passed, it was tough, but 0:16:17.360 --> 0:16:21.000 her passing was unique. I took her to that very 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:23.960 same veterinarian and um I did not want to let 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:27.200 her go. She didn't want to go. And they without 0:16:27.240 --> 0:16:30.480 beginning too morbid, they do the you know, their their 0:16:30.840 --> 0:16:33.400 euthan asia, which is something that you know a lot 0:16:33.440 --> 0:16:37.720 about these days. For dogs is tough. And you give 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.280 a sedative and then you give another drug and then 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:42.560 you know, the first sedative puts them to sleep, and 0:16:42.560 --> 0:16:44.360 then the second drug does what it's supposed to do, 0:16:45.200 --> 0:16:52.400 and it's designed to be incredibly peaceful and everything. And 0:16:52.440 --> 0:16:56.760 so the first drug is administered, and then the second drug, 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:02.080 and then after the second drugs ministered, this this little 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:11.280 bark seven times seven barks that just still haunts me. 0:17:11.320 --> 0:17:13.000 I get, as we say here in a white chicken 0:17:13.040 --> 0:17:15.399 skin when I tell the story, because it was just 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:20.520 like roof, but it was seven times. So that was 0:17:20.600 --> 0:17:26.119 her saying goodbye, um and and she was definitely that 0:17:26.240 --> 0:17:29.160 heart dog. I think that we all have that all 0:17:29.280 --> 0:17:32.320 dog lovers have that one dog that means so much. 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:35.320 And this dog had been with me through so much, 0:17:36.000 --> 0:17:39.439 and that, you know, lucky number seven was something that 0:17:39.680 --> 0:17:45.800 just basically continued throughout and even after her life. Oh, Mally, 0:17:47.960 --> 0:17:53.320 I I my my dog is not allowed to die. 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:56.000 I don't know. I think that's a really good policy. 0:17:56.160 --> 0:17:57.800 I think I tend to think that it's good for 0:17:57.840 --> 0:18:01.600 both us and our paths. Yeah, it's not allowed. Yeah, 0:18:01.800 --> 0:18:03.800 I used to rule that I don't fly in planes 0:18:03.800 --> 0:18:06.399 that crashed, and I don't swim with sharks. And I 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:08.760 think we will add that I'm not allowed to die 0:18:08.760 --> 0:18:10.359 and my dog's not allowed to die. I like that. 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:12.719 What kind of dog do you have? So I have? 0:18:13.720 --> 0:18:16.960 He's just a little Schnarier. He's a kind of a 0:18:17.040 --> 0:18:21.119 you know, Schnauzer terrier where were wolf mixed. But his 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:26.000 name is Weird Gary, and um, Weird Gary was foster 0:18:26.560 --> 0:18:29.119 and a foster failed, so we we foster with a 0:18:29.160 --> 0:18:33.159 shelter out here in l A. And yeah, I just 0:18:33.680 --> 0:18:36.159 fell in love with this, with this first foster, and 0:18:36.160 --> 0:18:41.800 and kept kept him. But he actually developed early um 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:45.520 like cataracts in one eye, and I was going blind 0:18:45.560 --> 0:18:49.080 in that eye. And luckily, Weird Gary's got a little 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:51.960 bit of a following on social media, and we you know, 0:18:52.040 --> 0:18:54.760 I did a go fund meat and all of the 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:58.960 fans on Instagram and on on TikTok showed up big 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:02.600 and paid for are Weird Gary's eye surgery and saved 0:19:02.680 --> 0:19:06.200 saved his right eye. That is extraordinary. How how much 0:19:06.240 --> 0:19:09.000 did you raise? It was a six thousand dollar surgery 0:19:10.119 --> 0:19:12.399 and he he was you know, we weren't sure of 0:19:12.440 --> 0:19:15.720 his age since he's a foster, but probably they were 0:19:15.720 --> 0:19:19.200 saying around seven years old. So still has so much 0:19:19.240 --> 0:19:22.240 life left you know, we we didn't want to just say, oh, 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:23.920 he'll just be blind in one eye for the next 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.320 however many years, so we thought it was worth it to, 0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:30.240 you know, to try and raise the money and get 0:19:30.280 --> 0:19:33.200 that surgery done. But yeah, weird. Gary's got great eyesight 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:36.720 now that is can and can he? And can he drive? 0:19:38.480 --> 0:19:40.439 Not at night just during the down to night. Well 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.120 that's that's a good restriction. I understand the California Highway. 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:45.600 He's got a he's got a weed prescription now too, 0:19:45.600 --> 0:19:47.480 which is great. Well, that's good because that does help 0:19:47.480 --> 0:19:50.800 with the cataracts. So awesome, dude, it's for my dog. 0:19:51.840 --> 0:19:55.000 So I think that's that's amazing. I love that. We 0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:57.120 we should have you and dog podcast Network to tell 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.480 that story about Gary. I would love that. I would 0:19:59.520 --> 0:20:02.399 absolutely we love that. Um yeah, I'm also you know, 0:20:02.640 --> 0:20:06.320 as you were saying, I'm a dog. I don't have 0:20:06.359 --> 0:20:08.280 any children. I have a dog. So I'm one of 0:20:08.280 --> 0:20:11.000 those millennials who spends way too much money. I'm a 0:20:11.040 --> 0:20:12.760 gen actor and that's the same thing my wife and 0:20:12.760 --> 0:20:15.119 I have. But we okay, so here the questions so 0:20:15.240 --> 0:20:18.920 we we we focus on dog lovers versus dog owners. 0:20:18.920 --> 0:20:22.639 So here are the questions, where does Gary sleep in 0:20:22.720 --> 0:20:29.280 our bed? Check one, Uh, you're sick, your dog is sick? 0:20:29.320 --> 0:20:31.280 Who is more likely to go to the doctor slash 0:20:31.359 --> 0:20:38.399 veterinarian dog? Okay? Check two? Uh you what do you 0:20:38.440 --> 0:20:41.720 feed your dog? Oh? Uh? He has this like these 0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:45.639 fresh little meatballs you know that you make? Well, No, 0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:47.560 I don't make them by hand, but I get them 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:52.440 at Petco. But they're they're like the fresh bag. Check three. 0:20:53.280 --> 0:20:57.680 And uh, come Christmas, Birthday, holidays, whatever Gary gets presents. 0:20:58.680 --> 0:21:02.240 There's the amount of costumes that it's usually a costume. 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:04.840 But yeah, and then some treats and stuff, but yeah, 0:21:05.000 --> 0:21:08.720 almost always a costume has purchased every holiday. Congratulations, you 0:21:08.760 --> 0:21:12.080 have scored a hundred on are you a dog lover 0:21:12.280 --> 0:21:15.760 versus a dog owner? Yes, that's it. That's those are 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:18.959 that's our litmus test. I'm glad I passed. Yeah, and 0:21:19.000 --> 0:21:22.160 it's and it's great and people think of us as strange, 0:21:22.320 --> 0:21:25.320 but this is our dog, right, this is our child. Right, 0:21:26.200 --> 0:21:38.120 says talks with people with Welcome Back Fable Babies. It's 0:21:38.160 --> 0:21:42.160 time for everybody's favorite segment, robo Reddit read. So let's 0:21:42.160 --> 0:21:51.399 welcome back my robot intern kyleies, Nope, it's fable babies fable, 0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:53.840 not table fable as in a story. Why would we 0:21:53.840 --> 0:21:57.520 call our fans table babies? What? What did you just say? 0:21:57.600 --> 0:22:01.080 Beats meat? Gross? You freaking yar know it's beats me 0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:07.520 as you wish? Oh look, oh stop? What the far? 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:09.919 What the why did you just hit me? You told 0:22:09.960 --> 0:22:15.080 me to beat you god hurd, you little robot bitch. 0:22:15.560 --> 0:22:18.560 Just read the damn reddit threat already as you wish. 0:22:18.680 --> 0:22:21.920 Today's ask Creddit thread is. When I was a kid, 0:22:22.000 --> 0:22:25.200 my parents told me my dad was sent to quote 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:29.400 the farm. After months of thinking she had been put down, 0:22:29.760 --> 0:22:32.040 I visited the farm and it turns out my uncle 0:22:32.240 --> 0:22:35.119 was taking care of her. Have you ever been showing 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:37.800 your parents were lying to you when they were actually 0:22:37.840 --> 0:22:41.440 being honest. That's how I got my dog. My friend 0:22:41.480 --> 0:22:43.520 in high school was going to put him down when 0:22:43.520 --> 0:22:45.399 he was only a couple of months old because he 0:22:45.440 --> 0:22:49.119 wasn't pure bred. His mother was one black lab don't 0:22:49.119 --> 0:22:51.800 know who the father was. I told him I'd take him, 0:22:51.800 --> 0:22:54.360 and he's been living on our farm ever since, literally 0:22:54.400 --> 0:22:57.560 eating steaks and chasing four wheelers every day. He even 0:22:57.560 --> 0:23:00.480 outlasted me on the farm. But every time I go home, 0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:03.200 he's super happy to see me. I'll always love Jake, 0:23:03.600 --> 0:23:06.439 my dog, not some dude name of Jake. Jesus, what 0:23:06.520 --> 0:23:08.760 kind of a monster puts down a dog because it's 0:23:08.800 --> 0:23:11.520 not pure bread. You know, you should be more selective 0:23:11.520 --> 0:23:13.639 with who you call friends. You know, cut this puppy 0:23:13.720 --> 0:23:15.840 hitler out of your life. When I was about ten, 0:23:16.160 --> 0:23:18.080 my nan lived in a block of units, and when 0:23:18.119 --> 0:23:19.960 she moved out, she told me that it was because 0:23:19.960 --> 0:23:23.200 the neighbors were always playing ping pong. I thought ping 0:23:23.240 --> 0:23:26.280 pong was slang for having sex. Turns out the neighbors 0:23:26.320 --> 0:23:29.159 were actually playing ping pong. To be fair, When I 0:23:29.320 --> 0:23:31.919 play ping pong, it does sound a lot like sex. 0:23:31.960 --> 0:23:36.399 It's lots of heavy breathing, cussing, and smacking balls. My 0:23:36.520 --> 0:23:40.120 younger sister is my half sister. I thought my parents 0:23:40.160 --> 0:23:43.679 were pulling the your sister is adopted joke. Nope, my 0:23:43.800 --> 0:23:46.480 mother boined the neighbor and we suddenly had a new 0:23:46.520 --> 0:23:50.080 addition to the family. I didn't find out it was 0:23:50.200 --> 0:23:54.399 actually true until I was forty and her biological father died. 0:23:54.880 --> 0:23:57.919 My parents were explaining why our neighbor left money to 0:23:58.040 --> 0:24:01.480 my sister in his will, my parents are still married. 0:24:01.920 --> 0:24:05.119 My family is weird. You know. I've never seen an 0:24:05.160 --> 0:24:08.240 episode of Desperate Housewives, but this is exactly what I 0:24:08.240 --> 0:24:11.960 imagine it to be. Not my parents, but still pretty funny. 0:24:12.520 --> 0:24:15.320 I was at a frat partying and dancing with some guys. 0:24:15.800 --> 0:24:18.200 There was this one guy I was dancing with who 0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:20.800