WEBVTT - Angela | Betrayal Weekly 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:03.600 Hi everyone. Before we get into this episode, I want 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:06.399 to let you know that the first part discusses details 0:00:06.440 --> 0:00:10.160 of cancer symptoms and treatment. Please listen with care. 0:00:12.640 --> 0:00:16.520 She's doing so many lives. She's just broken so many hearts. 0:00:17.520 --> 0:00:23.680 That's just left me wondering did she ever have any 0:00:23.840 --> 0:00:30.760 love for any of us? And that hurts like hell. 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:50.880 I'm Andrea Gunning and this is Betrayal, a show about 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:54.480 the people we trust the most and the deceptions that 0:00:54.640 --> 0:00:55.520 change everything. 0:00:58.320 --> 0:01:00.680 It's a tale of Peter Rabbit. And I can see 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:02.960 you've drawne a picture of Peter Rabbit that is actally. 0:01:04.040 --> 0:01:08.200 That's Angela MacVicar. She's a grandmother in small town Scotland. 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:12.040 The day we interviewed her, Angela was babysitting her four 0:01:12.120 --> 0:01:13.000 year old granddaughter. 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.840 Listen, Nana's going to ask if you will be quiet 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:20.320 for a little while longer. Okay, okay'd be very very 0:01:20.400 --> 0:01:25.560 good and you'll make me very very happy. Okay, right 0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:26.080 on you go. 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.560 Angela has lived her whole life in the Scottish countryside. 0:01:31.080 --> 0:01:36.399 What makes Scotland? I think of the people. If a 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:40.119 stranger walks into a bar, they don't leave that bar 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.480 until everybody knows who they are and why they're there. 0:01:43.400 --> 0:01:46.000 She came from a close knit family of all girls. 0:01:46.480 --> 0:01:49.120 When she was growing up in the seventies, I. 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:54.640 Did actually want to be a midwife, but then I 0:01:54.680 --> 0:01:58.520 feel pregnant and had my first daughter, Joanna, when I 0:01:58.600 --> 0:02:02.240 was seventeen, so that can of put a hold on anything, 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:07.280 and at that point I was thrown into growing up 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:08.200 very quickly. 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:13.040 Joanna was named for Angela's father, John, and just like 0:02:13.080 --> 0:02:16.720 her mom, she would be one of four girls. 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:21.600 Which was hardgoing being a young mum and having four children. 0:02:22.280 --> 0:02:24.040 There was rarely a quiet moment. 0:02:24.960 --> 0:02:27.880 We always had a busy house with four girls that 0:02:28.000 --> 0:02:29.919 were always bringing friends home. 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:33.920 Out of all of her girls, Joanna was the most driven. 0:02:34.720 --> 0:02:38.400 You never had to tell her to study. She would 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:41.359 come home and go straight to her room do her homework. 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.160 And she was a talented Highland dancer, which is a 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:49.680 traditional Gaelic folk dance. On weekends, Joanna competed in dance 0:02:49.720 --> 0:02:56.239 contests across the country. But something changed when Joanna was sixteen. 0:02:57.240 --> 0:03:01.400 Joanna started to get really tired, and I put it 0:03:01.480 --> 0:03:06.040 down to her studying so hard for her exams, and 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:13.440 then she started getting little lumps and bruises she would 0:03:13.480 --> 0:03:16.200 come and say, Mom, look at this. And then one 0:03:16.280 --> 0:03:20.160 time in particular, she couldn't get her shoe on, and 0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:22.400 she said, look at my foot, and on the bridge 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:24.919 of her foot there was a lump and it looked 0:03:24.960 --> 0:03:28.680 like an egg. It was really quite a significant lump. 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.960 Angela wasn't the type to call the doctor over every 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.200 scrip or sniffle, but this time she was genuinely alarmed. 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:38.920 When the first doctor dismissed it as a bug bite, 0:03:39.200 --> 0:03:41.720 she found another doctor and then another. 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:44.839 I knew in the back of my mind it wasn't right. 0:03:44.920 --> 0:03:47.240 There was something going on. 0:03:47.240 --> 0:03:50.480 One day, Joanna came home from school with a large, 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:54.200 dark purple bruise. It covered her whole lower leg. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:58.640 Then it hadn't been there in the morning when she left, 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:05.120 and at that point leukemia hit me between the eyes. 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:14.360 I knew that bruising was a symptom. So we went 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:19.040 to the hospital the following day and they said, well, 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:22.240 we need to do a bone marrow asspirit, but they 0:04:22.279 --> 0:04:25.200 told me that it was just to confirm what they 0:04:25.240 --> 0:04:28.719 already knew, and I just I kept having to leave 0:04:28.839 --> 0:04:29.320 her room. 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:34.000 I kept having to make up excuses because I could 0:04:34.000 --> 0:04:37.400 feel myself getting panicked and upset, and I didn't want 0:04:37.440 --> 0:04:40.320 her to feel that or see it. 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:44.720 It was a day that changed their lives forever. At sixteen, 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:47.839 Joanna was diagnosed with cancer. 0:04:48.880 --> 0:04:52.039 Just by looking through a microscope, we could tell that 0:04:52.120 --> 0:04:57.400 she had chronic Malloyd leukemia. 0:04:57.880 --> 0:05:01.800 Today, there are a variety of treatments for chronic Mylloyd leukemia, 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:06.839 but thirty years ago there were very limited options. Joanna's 0:05:06.920 --> 0:05:09.200 doctors were scrambling to find answers. 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:13.880 The doctors would say, I don't know how she's functioning. 0:05:13.920 --> 0:05:15.520 I don't know how she can walk. 0:05:16.600 --> 0:05:19.480 A nurse had seen Angela pacing the hallways all day. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.200 She pulled her aside and gave her some stern advice. 0:05:24.240 --> 0:05:26.840 Angela was going to have to be her daughter's advocate. 0:05:27.720 --> 0:05:31.359 She wasn't given me tea and sympathy. She was giving 0:05:31.400 --> 0:05:34.560 me sound advice. And she was being a bit of 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:38.000 a badass with me and just telling me without saying 0:05:38.000 --> 0:05:40.880 the words, pull yourself together. You're going to have to 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:41.240 do this. 0:05:44.200 --> 0:05:48.279 So Angela tried to channel her fear into action. She 0:05:48.400 --> 0:05:51.560 was willing to go anywhere in the world do anything 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:57.000 necessary to get Joanna's treatment. Next, she found a specialist. 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.360 He then told us that she had to a bone 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:02.599 matter transplant to survive. 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:06.960 In order to have a successful bone marrow transplant, Joanna 0:06:06.960 --> 0:06:11.120 would need a perfect match. It's rare, but they found 0:06:11.160 --> 0:06:15.919 a possible match on the National registry. It wasn't perfect, 0:06:16.240 --> 0:06:20.600 but it was close and it was their only shot. 0:06:20.920 --> 0:06:24.520 But the procedure is dangerous. 0:06:24.160 --> 0:06:26.640 So what they do is they kill off all your 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:31.080 bone marrow, so you had to go into isolation. You're 0:06:31.120 --> 0:06:34.640 in a room where everybody has to be scrubbed up, 0:06:34.680 --> 0:06:37.120 and it's very limited to how many people are in 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:41.760 the room because an infection could kill you because you 0:06:41.839 --> 0:06:45.839 don't have any white cells to fight infection. And then 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:50.800 the cells from a donor just looks like a bag 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:55.720 of blood and it's hung up on a stand and 0:06:55.760 --> 0:07:00.280 you receive it through intravenous and the stem cell that 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:04.240 go through your veins find their way to your bone 0:07:04.279 --> 0:07:08.760 marrow and they nest in your bone marrow and start 0:07:08.839 --> 0:07:13.400 to multiply and give you a new immune system should 0:07:13.520 --> 0:07:24.840 your body accept it. But Joanna's didn't. It wasn't a 0:07:24.840 --> 0:07:29.280 close enough match, and her body attacked the new cells. 0:07:32.480 --> 0:07:38.280 When that happened, she was left with no immune system 0:07:38.640 --> 0:07:39.400 and no donor. 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:46.400 But for the transplant, Joanna didn't fully grasp how serious 0:07:46.440 --> 0:07:47.760 her diagnosis was. 0:07:48.800 --> 0:07:50.440 It was a few times we thought we're going to 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:53.160 lose her. During the transplant, she was just so ill. 0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:58.600 After the transplant failed, Joanna's doctors were blunt. 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:03.280 So so at that point they said, if she's going 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:07.960 to survive beyond five years, we need to find a 0:08:08.000 --> 0:08:08.840 perfect match. 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:14.120 That's when Angela turned to the Anthony Nolan Register, one 0:08:14.160 --> 0:08:18.040 of the first bone marrow registries in the world. It 0:08:18.080 --> 0:08:21.240 had been founded by another mother, also desperate to save 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:24.440 her child, and the charity happened to be based in 0:08:24.480 --> 0:08:27.440 the UK. So Angela scheduled a meeting with a woman 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:28.960 there and. 0:08:28.840 --> 0:08:33.720 She said, well, this weekend we have got a fundraising 0:08:33.880 --> 0:08:37.679 event going on in Glasgow. Would you and Joanna like 0:08:37.760 --> 0:08:42.400 to go along? And I said yes, because we have 0:08:42.520 --> 0:08:46.160 to do something. We can't sit back and just expect 0:08:46.200 --> 0:08:48.920 everybody else to build this register for us. 0:08:49.800 --> 0:08:51.640 So they packed their bags for Glasgow. 0:08:52.280 --> 0:08:54.880 Of course, Joanna said she had nothing to wear, which 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:56.560 was a lot of the loneing. 0:08:58.040 --> 0:09:01.720 That weekend, they hoped to meet people who could help Joanna. 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:03.840 And that's where I met Lindsay McCallum. 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:09.160 Lindsay worked for the Anthony Nolan Trust and she would 0:09:09.160 --> 0:09:13.120 be Angela and Joanna's ambassador, guiding them through the process 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:16.400 of growing the registry and trying to find Joanna's match. 0:09:17.640 --> 0:09:21.840 When we arrived at the hotel, she created us so 0:09:22.200 --> 0:09:27.920 warmly and kindly, and she was very caring and inviting. 0:09:29.000 --> 0:09:33.400 That night at the fundraiser, there was an auction and 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:37.960 there was people up speaking, and while Lindsay was speaking 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:43.400 on the stage, Joanna actually got up off her chair 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:44.520 and walked. 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:48.880 Up onto the stage and took the mic and told 0:09:48.920 --> 0:09:54.240 people that she needed to find a bone marrow match 0:09:54.360 --> 0:10:01.800 or she was going to die. I saw her blossom 0:10:02.160 --> 0:10:06.720 on that stage. She didn't cry, She just told people 0:10:07.320 --> 0:10:11.280 that she wanted to live and thankful for being there 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:12.320 and for helping her. 0:10:13.280 --> 0:10:17.760 In that moment, something shifted. Joanna was no longer just 0:10:17.760 --> 0:10:22.160 a patient. She wanted to be an advocate, and an 0:10:22.160 --> 0:10:26.120 idea was born. The Anthony Nolan Trust would partner with 0:10:26.200 --> 0:10:29.360 Joanna to launch a media campaign. They would use her 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.120 story to raise awareness and get new people to donate 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:36.760 bone marrow. Every new donor could potentially be Joanna's match. 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:40.280 They got the campaign off the ground with Lindsay's help, 0:10:40.720 --> 0:10:43.400 and the public immediately took notice. 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:50.880 When we started Joanna's campaign, the media just ate it up. 0:10:51.240 --> 0:10:55.640 They just loved her. She loved the camera. The camera 0:10:55.760 --> 0:11:01.040 loved her. Yeah. She made friends with lots of different 0:11:01.800 --> 0:11:07.560 Scottish celebrities and they just loved their zest for life. 0:11:07.840 --> 0:11:12.439 Joanna's story struck a chord. Her personality, her humor, her 0:11:12.480 --> 0:11:17.200 sheer will to live. It was irresistible. Plus, the campaign 0:11:17.280 --> 0:11:19.080 gave Joanna a larger purpose. 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:24.040 It's how ridiculous, but she had a blast. She just 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:28.160 wanted to live. That was a message, I just want 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:28.600 to live. 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:36.880 Even though the transplant hadn't been successful, Joanna was well 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:40.360 enough to take her exams and get into college. There 0:11:40.559 --> 0:11:42.640 she discovered her love of journalism. 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.439 She used to say, when I'm better, I'm going to 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:49.560 start a newspaper and it's going to be called good 0:11:49.600 --> 0:11:52.680 News Only It's going to just be a newspaper full 0:11:52.679 --> 0:11:55.600 of good news that people will want to read and 0:11:55.720 --> 0:12:01.920 not be drawn into dooming gloom. Wouldn't that be a 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:02.679 wonderful world. 0:12:03.480 --> 0:12:07.120 As the campaign continued to grow, so did Angela's involvement. 0:12:08.080 --> 0:12:12.880 I started to work for the Anthony Nolan Trust. I 0:12:13.120 --> 0:12:17.479 was a donor recruitment manager. I then started running clinics 0:12:18.040 --> 0:12:22.640 where people could come along and put their name down 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:26.880 to be on their register. And everybody was coming to 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:28.920 join the register, coming in their thousands. 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:33.000 It was intense work, and Angela says it couldn't have 0:12:33.040 --> 0:12:36.920 been accomplished without Lindsay's help. The woman they'd met at 0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.959 the fundraiser was becoming an integral part of their lives. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:45.320 Lindsay went above and beyond a Joanna's campaign, and she 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:46.559 mean business. 0:12:47.120 --> 0:12:50.560 She was ex military, had been in the Navy, and 0:12:50.640 --> 0:12:55.000 so she had that kind of great organizational skills and 0:12:56.000 --> 0:13:03.600 she was charming. She attracted people good fund raiser. Because 0:13:03.760 --> 0:13:09.079 we were running a campaign together, the relationship became pretty intense. 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:14.320 Lindsay and Angela became best friends, you know. 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:20.040 The relationship grew organically. She would phone me during our 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.680 work hours and then that would expand it and we 0:13:23.720 --> 0:13:27.000 wouldn't just talk work. We just kicked off. We just 0:13:27.280 --> 0:13:30.880 kicked off really well and laughed at the same things. 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:37.000 We talked about the same things. We both had families 0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:42.079 that were very similar, very close, loving families. 0:13:42.960 --> 0:13:45.760 They had a lot in common and Lindsay made her 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:49.559 feel less alone. Lindsay didn't have a child with cancer 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.400 or a personal stake in growing the donor Registry, but 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:56.480 she was passionate about the work and the people she 0:13:56.559 --> 0:13:57.040 was helping. 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:04.959 She just had an aura and we both have a 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:10.319 common goal in increasing the register and helping people, and 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:11.960 she cared about Joanna. 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:15.360 As the year went on, Lindsay became a part of 0:14:15.400 --> 0:14:16.000 their family. 0:14:16.800 --> 0:14:23.360 Her families quickly became intertwined. I absolutely adored her mother 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:24.760 and her sisters. 0:14:26.120 --> 0:14:29.120 Lindsay and Angela started calling each other first thing in 0:14:29.160 --> 0:14:30.720 the morning every morning. 0:14:31.560 --> 0:14:34.880 We're both early birds. Either she would text me or 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.480 I would text her saying are you awake yet? And 0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:41.440 I don't know what we even spoke about. You know 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:43.320 when you have a relationship and you can be in 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:45.520 the phone for an hour and then you have to 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:48.240 phone back in an hour's time. Oh, I forgot to 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:52.080 tell you. I could speak to her five times a day. 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:56.840 That was the kind of relationship we had. You didn't 0:14:56.840 --> 0:15:00.600 get one without the other. Hell Is and Pickle. 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.880 The two women founded an annual ball together as a 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:13.240 fundraiser for the registry. By that point, Lindsay felt like 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:13.720 a sister. 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:19.600 It's hard to describe just how intense a friendship it was. 0:15:20.040 --> 0:15:24.680 I feel it was almost because we had that goal 0:15:25.040 --> 0:15:27.040 to save Joanna's life. 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:30.720 Joanna herself was determined to live and she was open 0:15:30.760 --> 0:15:31.720 to trying anything. 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:38.600 She spoke to doctors about complimentary therapies. Should you have reflexologies, 0:15:38.600 --> 0:15:42.920 should you have massage? And thirty years ago doctor scoffed 0:15:43.240 --> 0:15:46.400 and rolled her eyes and said, yeah, you could try 0:15:46.440 --> 0:15:47.080 that if you like. 0:15:47.880 --> 0:15:50.960 But Joanna was ahead of her time. She believed in 0:15:51.000 --> 0:15:55.360 western medicine, and she also believed in the power of rest, food, 0:15:55.480 --> 0:15:59.960 and joy. While they kept waiting for the perfect Matchna 0:16:00.120 --> 0:16:03.240 decided the best treatment would be living her life to 0:16:03.320 --> 0:16:03.880 the fullest. 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:10.160 She was gotzi. She would do things like skydive. She 0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:11.280 went scuba diving. 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:15.640 She'd been living with cancer for almost ten years. When 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:18.880 she was twenty four, she planned a backpack around the world. 0:16:19.680 --> 0:16:21.960 Her doctor has cleared her to go so long as 0:16:21.960 --> 0:16:25.560 she had blood work done every few weeks, and Joanna 0:16:25.880 --> 0:16:26.640 took the chance. 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:30.480 She went all over. She was in Thailand, all these 0:16:30.520 --> 0:16:33.840 kind of places fichi, I mean made in mind. Joanna 0:16:34.200 --> 0:16:39.640 was tiny, tiny little thin thing. Her backpack was almost 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:43.640 as big as her. It was huge, and while she 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:50.760 was in Australia, I got a phone call to say 0:16:51.560 --> 0:16:52.720 she had been admitted. 0:16:55.720 --> 0:16:59.000 She started feeling short of breath and it turned out 0:16:59.520 --> 0:17:01.080 she had a collapsed long. 0:17:01.840 --> 0:17:07.959 Her lungs are deteriorating. Eventually they managed to get her 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:14.120 on a flight and get her back to Scotland, and 0:17:14.160 --> 0:17:17.760 then we discovered that she actually needed a heart and 0:17:17.880 --> 0:17:18.880 long transplant. 0:17:21.920 --> 0:17:25.119 Everyone knew what it meant. This was the beginning of 0:17:25.160 --> 0:17:28.280 the end and she never. 0:17:28.119 --> 0:17:31.360 Ever got that long transplant. 0:17:35.040 --> 0:17:38.280 Joanna died at home with her mom and sisters by 0:17:38.320 --> 0:17:41.159 her side. She was twenty seven. 0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:47.840 It was just also unfair. Everything's unfair, though, isn't it. 0:17:49.000 --> 0:17:55.359 You know, with a disease, it's never fair. But she 0:17:55.560 --> 0:17:59.800 just desperately wanted to live, and. 0:18:00.040 --> 0:18:03.240 Allat immediately threw herself into planning a celebration of life 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:03.880 for Joanna. 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:06.920 I remember saying to somebody, this is the last thing 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:08.200 I get to do for my child. 0:18:09.560 --> 0:18:13.600 The service would be joyful and vibrant, just like Joanna. 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:19.360 We asked everybody not to wear black, to wear very 0:18:19.440 --> 0:18:26.040 colorful clothing. From a tiny little girl, Joanna loved rainbows. 0:18:26.480 --> 0:18:30.200 As a toddler. She would scream when she saw a rainbow, 0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:31.320 she was fascinated. 0:18:32.080 --> 0:18:38.960 And when she was very ill and she knew she 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:44.880 was dying, she said to me, when we can no 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:46.320 longer be together. 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:50.560 I will send you a sign and we can meet 0:18:50.920 --> 0:18:52.360 in the middle of rainbow. 0:18:56.640 --> 0:19:00.560 As they plan the service, Lindsay was there to help always. 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:06.960 Lindsay actually asked if she could reader Yuligi. I was laying, 0:19:07.040 --> 0:19:10.720 my goodness, could you do that? And she was like, 0:19:11.240 --> 0:19:14.920 I really, yeah, I could. I want to? And I 0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.400 was like, oh, that's beautiful. 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:22.040 Even in this dark time, Angela felt like she was 0:19:22.080 --> 0:19:25.560 surrounded by love, that she was supported by good and 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:26.439 caring people. 0:19:27.800 --> 0:19:32.920 I thought Lindsay McCallum was one of these people, and 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:33.879 she wasn't. 0:19:58.280 --> 0:20:02.400 After Joanna passed away, Angela leaned on her family and friends, 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:07.000 especially her best friend Lindsay. At this point, they'd been 0:20:07.000 --> 0:20:10.679 best friends for nearly a decade. Their daily morning calls 0:20:10.720 --> 0:20:12.880 became a lifeline for Angela. 0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:18.679 After Johanna passed. You know, Lindsey would be the first 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:23.119 person I would speak to in the morning, and she 0:20:23.200 --> 0:20:25.320 would message me and say a yap where I would 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:27.119 if I was awake, I would miss a yap. And 0:20:27.480 --> 0:20:33.199 we would chat and she would just laugh with me 0:20:33.440 --> 0:20:37.359 about the funny things. Joanna would get up to the 0:20:37.520 --> 0:20:43.760 funny things that she would say, and it lifted my spouts. 0:20:43.880 --> 0:20:47.320 And it was just she was always there. She was 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:53.320 so supportive. Never heard her cry right enough, never cried, 0:20:53.920 --> 0:20:56.560 but I just thought that she was just composed. 0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:03.440 Their friendship went on like this for another seven years. 0:21:04.000 --> 0:21:07.480 During this time, Angela was reflecting a lot on Joanna 0:21:08.040 --> 0:21:12.119 and how she was always looking for holistic treatments, ways 0:21:12.160 --> 0:21:15.840 to make herself feel better and find joy. She thought 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:17.720 about how Joanna used to say. 0:21:17.840 --> 0:21:21.520 There should be a place that people go and they 0:21:21.520 --> 0:21:23.120 can just sample. 0:21:22.720 --> 0:21:27.480 All these things and find out what you can do 0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:33.040 to bring more joy, more peace, more relaxation, less stress. 0:21:33.800 --> 0:21:36.560 One day, when Lindsay and Angela were on the phone, 0:21:37.240 --> 0:21:41.040 they came up with an idea together, a charity that 0:21:41.080 --> 0:21:42.640 would provide exactly that. 0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:50.119 Seven years after Joanna passed away, Lindsay and I decided 0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:56.800 in her memory to launch Rainbow Valley to help other people. 0:21:57.880 --> 0:22:03.320 Rainbow Valley to Joanna's vibrancy and her love of rainbows. 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:06.919 They would offer a two day residential program for people 0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:11.560 with cancer. The course would include coaching on mindfulness, diet 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:13.280 and emotional well being. 0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:18.879 Remove Valley is not a life saving charity. Remove Aalley 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:24.160 is a life changing charity. And it doesn't matter how 0:22:24.320 --> 0:22:29.720 long you have to live, it's what can you do 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:36.959 to take back control of a diagnosis of cancer? I 0:22:37.040 --> 0:22:39.000 live a more joyous life. 0:22:40.640 --> 0:22:44.199 Luckily, Lindsay knew how to start a charity and she 0:22:44.359 --> 0:22:45.320 was eager to help. 0:22:45.840 --> 0:22:51.080 She had seventeen eighteen years experience as a fund raiser 0:22:51.160 --> 0:22:56.400 for a big organization, so she was obviously well respected 0:22:56.680 --> 0:23:02.040 within the sector, and I felt she had the expertise. 0:23:03.400 --> 0:23:06.200 Johanna gave us the vision, Johanna gave us our mission 0:23:07.200 --> 0:23:13.080 why it was the storyteller, and Lindsay was the expertise 0:23:13.160 --> 0:23:15.119 behind pulling it together. 0:23:17.480 --> 0:23:20.600 They applied for charitable status and found experts to lead 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:24.920 their courses, and then, in a twist of faith, Lindsay 0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:27.680 was laid off from her job at the Anthony Nullan Trust, 0:23:28.480 --> 0:23:32.359 so she became Rainbow Valley's first official employee. 0:23:33.480 --> 0:23:38.720 It made sense that Lindsay, you know, after being made redundant, 0:23:40.119 --> 0:23:45.719 worked for Rainbow Valley, and we pulled the board together, 0:23:45.800 --> 0:23:49.280 a board of trustees, and we took advice from Lindsay. 0:23:49.320 --> 0:23:51.520 We took her lead because she was the one with 0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:53.240 twenty years experience. 0:23:54.240 --> 0:23:57.920 I was so grateful that we were able to do 0:23:58.000 --> 0:24:00.720 something like this together in Joy and his memory. 0:24:02.359 --> 0:24:04.840 I thought it was all meant to be. 0:24:09.840 --> 0:24:14.520 Under Lindsay's leadership, the charity really came together. In twenty twelve, 0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:17.360 Rainbow Valley officially began running courses. 0:24:18.160 --> 0:24:22.280 She was the head of the charity. She was involved 0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:26.880 in the day to day running of everything. I trusted 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:31.679 her implicitly implicitly. 0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:36.840 A few years into managing the charity together, the friends 0:24:36.880 --> 0:24:42.159 faced their first real conflict. Angela had started to question 0:24:42.440 --> 0:24:43.800 some of Lindsay's choices. 0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:50.800 I felt she was spending money on something that wasn't 0:24:51.520 --> 0:24:56.080 necessary and it was a bit of a waste of resources. 0:24:56.760 --> 0:25:02.440 And I spoke to Lindsay about this, and I remember 0:25:02.480 --> 0:25:07.920 saying to her, this is extremely difficult for me because 0:25:09.119 --> 0:25:13.000 you're my best friend and I adore you, but this 0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:18.439 is a business conversation and I don't feel this is 0:25:19.560 --> 0:25:22.080 the way we should be running. 0:25:23.080 --> 0:25:25.080 And Lindsay didn't take it well. 0:25:25.560 --> 0:25:29.399 It was the first time I had ever seen I 0:25:29.440 --> 0:25:33.560 don't want to overexaggerate and say aggression but it was 0:25:33.640 --> 0:25:39.560 like she was angry. I saw it as not a fallout, 0:25:39.840 --> 0:25:43.800 but we disagreed on something which we hadn't done before. 0:25:44.560 --> 0:25:47.040 But it was more than a disagreement. It was a 0:25:47.080 --> 0:25:52.719 turning point. After that conversation, Lindsay became cold and she 0:25:52.760 --> 0:25:55.160 came to Angela with some feedback of her own. 0:25:56.640 --> 0:26:01.800 She started telling me that people didn't like me and 0:26:01.880 --> 0:26:04.439 that I was causing upset on the course. I was 0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:10.280 upsetting the staff, and I was upsetting the attendees, and 0:26:10.640 --> 0:26:14.480 I was creating a negative atmosphere. 0:26:16.040 --> 0:26:19.600 And of course I loved her and I didn't want 0:26:19.640 --> 0:26:20.680 to upset her. 0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:26.919 I didn't want to upset anybody on the course. That 0:26:27.200 --> 0:26:35.280 she had me convinced that I was creating this negative atmosphere. 0:26:36.359 --> 0:26:40.879 Angela was taken aback, but she trusted Lindsay's judgment. She 0:26:40.960 --> 0:26:43.280 didn't want to be a problem or get in the 0:26:43.280 --> 0:26:44.480 way of their mission. 0:26:44.760 --> 0:26:47.040 And she told me that I shouldn't come to the 0:26:47.080 --> 0:26:54.920 courses anymore. I wasn't being useful, so I kind of 0:26:54.920 --> 0:26:56.040 stepped back from that. 0:27:00.119 --> 0:27:02.360 She wanted to do what was best for the charity, 0:27:02.840 --> 0:27:07.080 but Angela was hurt, and to make matters worse, their 0:27:07.119 --> 0:27:08.880 friendship was changing. 0:27:10.119 --> 0:27:17.560 During that time, our relationship really deteriorated, and I was 0:27:17.960 --> 0:27:22.920 very confused, you know, because Lindsay would turn quite nasty 0:27:22.960 --> 0:27:26.399 at times, and it just wasn't like her, you know. 0:27:26.600 --> 0:27:28.840 I would try to speak to and see what's wrong, 0:27:28.880 --> 0:27:33.560 and she'd say nothing, nothing, So she had me feeling 0:27:34.560 --> 0:27:35.720 I was imagining it. 0:27:36.320 --> 0:27:38.040 Lindsay stopped calling in the mornings. 0:27:38.720 --> 0:27:40.959 I would then be phoning and she would ignore my calls, 0:27:41.680 --> 0:27:43.639 and then when I would say to you, I phoned you, 0:27:44.560 --> 0:27:46.840 she would say, what if I got a misscall from you. 0:27:48.400 --> 0:27:52.240 Then one night, Angela opened her door to find all 0:27:52.280 --> 0:27:54.600 three of her daughters standing in front of her. 0:27:55.600 --> 0:28:01.520 The girls all came to my house one evening and said, 0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:05.560