WEBVTT - FORGIVENESS: Letting go

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, it's Delilah. Thank you for stopping by. I have

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<v Speaker 1>put together some of my favorite radio moments here to

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<v Speaker 1>share with you on our daily podcast through last night,

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<v Speaker 1>if you were listening to my show, you might have

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<v Speaker 1>heard me talking about the topic of forgiveness. And I

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<v Speaker 1>think I think I'm probably going to touch on that

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<v Speaker 1>probably every night for the rest of this year. I

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<v Speaker 1>think that's kind of going to be an overarching theme

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<v Speaker 1>because it seems to me like there's a whole lot

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<v Speaker 1>of anger and a whole lot of rage going on

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<v Speaker 1>around us, and a lot of people are feeling like

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<v Speaker 1>nothing is fair.

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<v Speaker 2>Today. I probably had three.

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<v Speaker 1>Phone conversations with people not on the air, just in

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<v Speaker 1>my personal life where people said, that's not fair. It's

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<v Speaker 1>so unfair. Guess what it is. It is unfair. There

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<v Speaker 1>are so many unfair things, things that are not right,

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<v Speaker 1>and what can you do about it. Well, if you

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<v Speaker 1>can right the wrong, then do that. But a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of times all we can do is forgive and move on,

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<v Speaker 1>because if we stay stuck in that feeling of it's

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<v Speaker 1>not fair, it's not fair, they owe me an apology.

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<v Speaker 1>Guess what happens doesn't hurt them? Whoever wronged you. It

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't hurt them, it hurts you.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, Donna, Hi, I want to know if you could

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<v Speaker 3>play a song for my two beautiful daughters.

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<v Speaker 2>What are their names, Brittany and Ashley? How old are they? Mom?

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<v Speaker 3>Brittany is eleven and Ashley is five?

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<v Speaker 2>And what do you want to tell them?

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<v Speaker 3>I want to tell them that I love them very

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<v Speaker 3>much and they will be home soon. Me and their

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<v Speaker 3>dad are going to a big custody battle and they're

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<v Speaker 3>with him, and they want to come home really bad.

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<v Speaker 3>And I just want them to know that I love

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<v Speaker 3>them with all my heart.

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<v Speaker 4>Now, is there any way that you two can work

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<v Speaker 4>through your problems and they can be a part of

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<v Speaker 4>both your lives?

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<v Speaker 2>Yes, we probably could for their sake.

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<v Speaker 4>Yeah, the more peace that you two can establish, whether

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<v Speaker 4>or not you get along, you're going to have to

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<v Speaker 4>figure out a way. Seems to me the best situation

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<v Speaker 4>would be to put your differences aside and say, let's

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<v Speaker 4>agree to disagree and agree that we don't get along,

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<v Speaker 4>but for our children's sake, let's make this thing work.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we need to do that.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you do.

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<v Speaker 3>And they just I miss him really bad. I've not

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<v Speaker 3>seen him. They've been gone for about four months now.

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<v Speaker 2>And does he live out of the area.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, he does.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you not have visitation at all?

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<v Speaker 5>No?

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<v Speaker 3>Not right now, just because we argue and he's got

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<v Speaker 3>a girlfriend that we don't get along at all, and

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<v Speaker 3>we fight and argue, and I know what's wrong.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay? How bad does your heart hurt missing your kids?

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<v Speaker 3>It hurts really bad?

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<v Speaker 5>Because does it.

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<v Speaker 4>Hurt bad enough to swallow your anger and swallow your

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<v Speaker 4>pride and swallow the fact that you have probably been

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<v Speaker 4>wronged and find a way to stop fighting with him

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<v Speaker 4>and his girlfriend for your kid's sake.

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<v Speaker 3>I need to do that.

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<v Speaker 4>Do you know what forgiveness is, honey? Forgiveness is not

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<v Speaker 4>a feeling. And forgiveness is not saying what you did

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<v Speaker 4>is okay. Forgiveness is saying, God, I am going to

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<v Speaker 4>stop expecting somebody to pay me a debt they rightfully

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<v Speaker 4>owe me. Does he owe you a debt for wrongs

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<v Speaker 4>that he did in your marriage?

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<v Speaker 3>To be honest with you, yeah, I do.

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<v Speaker 4>And is the fact that he wronged you and hurt

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<v Speaker 4>you and did things that were inappropriate in your marriage

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<v Speaker 4>causing you to hang on to anger and bitterness and resentment, Well.

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<v Speaker 3>It's hard it's hard to let go.

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<v Speaker 4>But if you don't let go of that, and I'm

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<v Speaker 4>not saying that you need to feel warm and fuzzy

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<v Speaker 4>about this man, But if you don't let go of

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<v Speaker 4>that anger and that hurt and that resentment and put

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<v Speaker 4>it in God's hands and let him figure out justice

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<v Speaker 4>in the situation, Donnie, you're going to lose more than

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<v Speaker 4>your children. You're going to lose your serenity, and you're

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<v Speaker 4>going to lose your peace, and you're going to lose

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<v Speaker 4>your joy. I know that when you can get to

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<v Speaker 4>a point where you say, you know what he wronged me.

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<v Speaker 4>I'm hurt, I'm angry. What's happened is wrong. But I

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<v Speaker 4>am not going to hold him accountable any longer. I'm

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<v Speaker 4>going to let God deal with him. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 4>put it in God's hands, and I am going to

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<v Speaker 4>find a way to get along with this person and

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<v Speaker 4>his girlfriend at any cost for my daughter's sake. You

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<v Speaker 4>need to do that for your girls, but mostly you

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<v Speaker 4>need to do that for you. Marcus High, Welcome to

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<v Speaker 4>the Delilah Show. Who is on your heart tonight?

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<v Speaker 6>Well, actually it's a friend of mine and as I've

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<v Speaker 6>been traveling back and forth. I keep listening to your

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<v Speaker 6>show because it has to be the only thing on

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<v Speaker 6>that's really interesting. They can't need to play any good

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<v Speaker 6>stuff on the radio anymore except our show.

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<v Speaker 5>So.

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you.

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<v Speaker 6>Yeah. Well, I keep hearing all these stories of you know,

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<v Speaker 6>heartache and things like that, and coming back from a

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<v Speaker 6>friend tonight, I kind of realized the truth that I

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<v Speaker 6>have never realized before and starting to make me wonder

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<v Speaker 6>of everything that I write about is actually wrong. But

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<v Speaker 6>as she is on my mind, I'm wondering, you know,

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<v Speaker 6>maybe if there's any answer to love and all that,

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<v Speaker 6>maybe the only thing we can do is take a

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<v Speaker 6>step back and quit dreaming of the fantasy of it

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<v Speaker 6>and really focus on the it, which is probably the

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<v Speaker 6>most successful part of it, or what we really need

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<v Speaker 6>in our lives. Of course, that might just seem like

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<v Speaker 6>mindless philosophy too, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh no, I think that so many people.

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<v Speaker 7>My producer Janie and I were talking this morning about

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<v Speaker 7>how when you're young, especially, you buy into this fantasy

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<v Speaker 7>of what you think it is supposed to be, and

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<v Speaker 7>you miss out on so many important and life changing

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<v Speaker 7>and wonderful situations because you're expecting it to look like

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<v Speaker 7>something else right.

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<v Speaker 6>Well, And the thing is, you know, I always talk

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<v Speaker 6>about the things that we're most afraid of are the

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<v Speaker 6>things we don't understand, and maybe that is true, but

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<v Speaker 6>I think the things that we're more afraid of is

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<v Speaker 6>the actual success of it.

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<v Speaker 2>Leona, what can I do for you?

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<v Speaker 5>My biological father was what everybody calls a deadbeat dad.

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<v Speaker 5>So my sister and I grew up without knowing our father,

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<v Speaker 5>and for many years I was very, very bitter about

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<v Speaker 5>it and very angry. I never really had a father figure,

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<v Speaker 5>true father figure me and my grandparents helped to raise me,

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<v Speaker 5>but that was about it. And we found out that

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<v Speaker 5>he passed away and I really didn't care at the time.

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<v Speaker 5>And then two years ago my sister decided that she

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<v Speaker 5>wanted to try to find our family on that side,

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<v Speaker 5>and she did, and for me, it was kind of

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<v Speaker 5>like this door that I had dead bolted and everything

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<v Speaker 5>had just been yanked wide open. And it's just been

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<v Speaker 5>two years of being on emotional rollercoaster, and I've loved

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<v Speaker 5>meeting my family, but I still didn't want anything to

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<v Speaker 5>do with hearing about my father or anything like that

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<v Speaker 5>until about four months ago, and I was striving to

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<v Speaker 5>work and had passed an accident, and I started praying

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<v Speaker 5>for the people in the accident, and all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 5>I just started crying, and I really felt like God

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<v Speaker 5>was saying, it's time for you to stop running. You

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<v Speaker 5>need to go and take care of this. And so

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<v Speaker 5>I called my sister and we made a trip to

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<v Speaker 5>take care of that, and I went two weeks ago

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<v Speaker 5>and she had some of his ashes. He had been cremated,

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<v Speaker 5>and so I took some of his ashes and went

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<v Speaker 5>out onto the pier that they had had the ceremony

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<v Speaker 5>on and made my peace with him. And it was

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<v Speaker 5>I've never felt more free in my life. And I felt,

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<v Speaker 5>all of a sudden, I just felt this immense love

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<v Speaker 5>not only for him, but the love that he actually

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<v Speaker 5>did half for us. He was really screwed up and

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<v Speaker 5>for whatever reason, he couldn't make it work. But I

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<v Speaker 5>forgave him that day. And it's just the last two

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<v Speaker 5>weeks this has been really awesome. I've just felt so free,

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<v Speaker 5>and there's just so many things that are coming together

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<v Speaker 5>now that I took that step.

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<v Speaker 1>I so hope you have enjoyed these radio moments as

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<v Speaker 1>much as I enjoy bringing them to you. I'll share

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<v Speaker 1>more with you each weekday. On eight, it's Delilah Love