Speaker 1: Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2: Hey, Bestie's it is Wellness Wednesday, and today we're joined
Speaker 2: by New York Times bestselling author, entrepreneur, and founder of
Speaker 2: IT Cosmetics, Jamie Kern Lima, in other words, Everyone's favorite
Speaker 2: it girl. She's here to tell us how she built
Speaker 2: it all, which no she was most thankful for, and
Speaker 2: how she learned the true meaning of self worth. It's Wednesday,
Speaker 2: July third.
Speaker 3: I'm Simone Boyce, I'm Danielle Robe and this is the
Speaker 3: bright side from Hello Sunshine.
Speaker 2: It's July, fam and you know what that means. It
Speaker 2: is time to announce this month's pick for Reese's Book Club.
Speaker 2: So last month, you know, we spoke to Ali Condy,
Speaker 2: she's the author of The Unwedding and the June pick
Speaker 2: for Ese's Book Club. It was such a fun conversation,
Speaker 2: so if you haven't checked it out, go back and listen.
Speaker 3: I really enjoyed that interview, and honestly, all of our
Speaker 3: conversations with Reese's book Club picks are my favorites. So
Speaker 3: I'm super excited to announce July's RBC pick.
Speaker 1: Are you ready?
Speaker 3: It is The Cliffs by Jay Courtney Sullivan. Simone, We're
Speaker 3: really looking forward to reading this one.
Speaker 2: I know I already got my copy. I cannot wait
Speaker 2: to dive in.
Speaker 4: So.
Speaker 2: J Courtney Sullivan is the New York Times bestselling author
Speaker 2: of novels like Commencement, Maine, and Friends with Strangers, and
Speaker 2: she's known for creating these multi threaded narratives. Ooh, I
Speaker 2: just like the sound of that, Danielle.
Speaker 3: The titles are intriguing, and her latest book, The Cliffs,
Speaker 3: follows Jane Flanagan, who, as a teenager discovers an abandoned
Speaker 3: Victorian house that immediately piques her interest, and as the
Speaker 3: years go on, the mysterious home becomes a hideaway, a
Speaker 3: place where she can go to escape her volatile mother.
Speaker 3: So decades later, Jane gets hired to research the history
Speaker 3: of the home and uncover the past lives of people
Speaker 3: who lived there, and she soon discovers stories of romantic longing,
Speaker 3: lovers lost at sea, the long shadow of colonialism, and
Speaker 3: so much more.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is such a mysterious generational tale, and actually
Speaker 2: it was inspired by Jane's own encounter with this abandoned
Speaker 2: house she used to see on her summer vacations in Maine. Ooh,
Speaker 2: it sounds creepy and curious all at once.
Speaker 3: I love when authors write fictional stories but take pieces
Speaker 3: of their own lives and get inspired by them.
Speaker 1: This one's no exception.
Speaker 3: So we'll be talking with Jay Courtney later this month,
Speaker 3: and if you have a question for her, be sure
Speaker 3: to send us your thoughts at Hello at the Brightside
Speaker 3: podcast dot com. Because if you've listened to our past
Speaker 3: interviews with authors, our favorite parts of those interviews are
Speaker 3: your questions.
Speaker 2: Yes, we can't wait to hear your questions, but first
Speaker 2: we've got a really great show for you today, right, Danielle.
Speaker 2: I mean, we always have good ones, but today is
Speaker 2: extra special because we're both such huge fans of Jamie
Speaker 2: Kern Lima.
Speaker 1: She is the itck girl. How could we not be
Speaker 1: fans of hers.
Speaker 4: And for Annie.
Speaker 2: Some one out there who might not know who Jamie
Speaker 2: Kern Lima is, you probably know her makeup brand, IT Cosmetics.
Speaker 2: It sold its stores all over the country. I mean,
Speaker 2: I know so many women personally who love her Bebie
Speaker 2: and c C Creams in particular. One of our producers
Speaker 2: was just telling us it's the only thing she wears.
Speaker 2: And then before she started IT Cosmetics, she had past
Speaker 2: lives as a local news anchor missus Washington, USA, even
Speaker 2: a contestant on the first season of Big Brother. She
Speaker 2: also has an MBA, which of course has helped her
Speaker 2: quite a bit, and she's written two best selling books
Speaker 2: and has a new podcast out.
Speaker 3: I'm exhausted just listening to her resume, but you are right.
Speaker 3: The Jamie Kern Lima shows out and her first guest
Speaker 3: was Oprah Winfrey. So aside from the gravity of that name,
Speaker 3: Oprah Winfrey, what makes it even a bit mystical is
Speaker 3: that Jamie watched Oprah every day as a little girl,
Speaker 3: and she actually inspired her career as a journalist before
Speaker 3: she moved into the beauty space. And then we all
Speaker 3: know the other part of the story because she co
Speaker 3: founded it Cosmetics in an effort to treat her rosetia
Speaker 3: and sold it to Lareel for one point two billion dollars.
Speaker 1: That's billion with a B.
Speaker 2: My broke little brain can't even comprehend that amount of money.
Speaker 2: I'm also just thinking about how broke I was as
Speaker 2: a reporter and how much makeup was a part of
Speaker 2: my day to day routine.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, and how much money we spent on makeup.
Speaker 2: Right, right, and to think that she was in that
Speaker 2: environment and had the grit and the determination to say,
Speaker 2: you know what, I'm going to create a solution for
Speaker 2: this problem that I'm experiencing and I know so many
Speaker 2: other women are experiencing. Like It's just incredible. It's such
Speaker 2: an incredible story, and that purchase that you just mentioned
Speaker 2: actually made Jamie the first female CEO in Loreel's one
Speaker 2: hundred year history. Impressive doesn't even begin to capture it.
Speaker 2: I read her book Worthy earlier this year when I
Speaker 2: was in a self worth spiral of my own, and
Speaker 2: I loved it so much that I gifted it to
Speaker 2: a friend. So that just tells you how impactful it is.
Speaker 2: It's all about battling self doubt, imposter syndrome, and the
Speaker 2: power of believing in yourself. So I can't wait to
Speaker 2: get some more context and all the wisdom and insight
Speaker 2: that she packed into every page of that book.
Speaker 3: Through all the highs and lows, Jamie has learned a
Speaker 3: ton about battling self doubt and the power of believing
Speaker 3: in yourself, and I can't wait for her to share
Speaker 3: some of those gems with us.
Speaker 2: That's after the break, stay with us Welcome to the
Speaker 2: bright Side, Jamie.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. I am so excited to be here.
Speaker 5: It's going to be an incredible episode and I'm fired
Speaker 5: at thank you for having me woo.
Speaker 1: I'm usually not a wo girl, but I'm giving you
Speaker 1: a woo.
Speaker 5: Jamie.
Speaker 4: Love it.
Speaker 2: You are brightening up the bright Side for sure. You know,
Speaker 2: Wednesdays are usually dedicated to health and wellness here on
Speaker 2: the bright Side. And Danielle and I I wanted to
Speaker 2: have you on the show because you have been such
Speaker 2: an inspiration to both of us, as you have been
Speaker 2: so open about your journey overcoming self doubt and building
Speaker 2: an accumulating self worth. And before we really delve into
Speaker 2: how you learned those lessons, I want to start by
Speaker 2: rewinding just a bit, going back to your childhood in
Speaker 2: your early days. In your podcast, you said that watching
Speaker 2: Oprah tell other people's stories really inspired your entire career
Speaker 2: and made you feel less alone. How so tell us
Speaker 2: more about that.
Speaker 5: For Oprah to be the first guest is really like
Speaker 5: this full circle moment. You know, I grew up watching
Speaker 5: her in my living room every day, and I don't
Speaker 5: know if you guys never had an experience like this.
Speaker 5: There is this moment I was eight years old by
Speaker 5: the way, she was being interviewed by Barbara Walters, and
Speaker 5: I remember Oprah said to Barbara, I've always known I've
Speaker 5: had greatness inside of me, and I was destined for greatness.
Speaker 5: And I remember after she said that, she got, oh
Speaker 5: this backlash in the press. And I think it's because,
Speaker 5: like at the time, people were not used to a
Speaker 5: woman sort of like, you know, using her voice and
Speaker 5: actually proclaiming, declaring something great in her life and being
Speaker 5: so confident. But it remembers a little girl having this
Speaker 5: like whisper, like this kind of knowing. I was like,
Speaker 5: I feel that way too, and I thought what it
Speaker 5: meant was that one day I would grow up and
Speaker 5: like Oprah, you know, share other people's stories with the
Speaker 5: world and interview other people and like be of service.
Speaker 5: And then as I was growing up, you know, I
Speaker 5: always had that dream like I'm gonna meet her one day,
Speaker 5: but like I'm in the middle of a suburb of
Speaker 5: Washington State, I do not know no one, who knows
Speaker 5: no one, But I just had this whisper, this feeling
Speaker 5: like well, then as I grew up is when so
Speaker 5: many of us can relate to this. I started learning
Speaker 5: and believing all these lies that lead to self doubt,
Speaker 5: like who I am is not enough. I need to
Speaker 5: please everyone else to be loved. If I achieve.
Speaker 4: Enough, then I'll finally feel enough.
Speaker 5: I need to wait on my weight to put on
Speaker 5: a swimsuit or to tell the person I want to
Speaker 5: be more than just friends. I then spent sort of
Speaker 5: decades of my life just kind of believing that one lie, like, well,
Speaker 5: if I achieve enough, then I'll finally feel enough. Because
Speaker 5: I never quite felt enough. I did a lot of that,
Speaker 5: only to learn I would still arrive at that goal
Speaker 5: feeling like something's missing and like it's never enough. And
Speaker 5: so I don't know if you guys have had that
Speaker 5: experience where you, you know, think like, oh, one day,
Speaker 5: if this happens, then I'm gonna feel enough. Where a
Speaker 5: lot of people think like, oh, if I get my
Speaker 5: dream car, or I get you know, married and have kids,
Speaker 5: or I would get that certain promotion or that certain
Speaker 5: number in my bank account, then I'm going to finally
Speaker 5: like be made and feel enough. And for a lot
Speaker 5: of us, we get to that place after working really
Speaker 5: really hard, only to realize, you know, wherever you arrive
Speaker 5: at and still take you with you, which is basically
Speaker 5: your level of self worth with you and it I'll
Speaker 5: never feel fulfilling if you don't, deep down inside believe
Speaker 5: you're enough as you are independent of all that.
Speaker 3: I love the title of your book so much for
Speaker 3: that reason. I think it is everybody's life journey to
Speaker 3: find that worth. Yeah, I want to touch on the
Speaker 3: whispers that you mentioned a little bit. I actually learned
Speaker 3: about whispers for the first time in Oprah's books, So
Speaker 3: I love that that's where they came from for you too.
Speaker 3: And when you have the negative whispers, the ones that
Speaker 3: are telling you you can't do those things, how do
Speaker 3: you discern between the positive and the negative ones?
Speaker 5: That's such a great, great pathful question. And you know,
Speaker 5: the first thing that I'll say is, especially as girls
Speaker 5: and women, like the way that we're raised is actually
Speaker 5: not to trust ourselves.
Speaker 4: We're raised to kind.
Speaker 5: Of like please everyone else and kind of make decisions
Speaker 5: based on consensus. And you know, a lot of people like,
Speaker 5: how do you build a billion dollar business from your
Speaker 5: living room?
Speaker 4: With it cosmetics? Right?
Speaker 5: And when I look back, it's this question that you
Speaker 5: just asked, it's figuring out in big part, how do
Speaker 5: I actually turned down the volume on all the noise,
Speaker 5: on all the people saying no or saying it's never
Speaker 5: gonna work, or doubting you know that I have what
Speaker 5: it takes, and also turning down the volume on my
Speaker 5: own self doubt and then tune into that intuition and
Speaker 5: actually hear it. And I'll tell you both. For me,
Speaker 5: this is a lifelong journey. So here are some of
Speaker 5: the tools that I've applied that in case they someone
Speaker 5: needs to hear this today, because I truly believe, I
Speaker 5: believe this in every anti ib that your intuition is
Speaker 5: more powerful than anyone else's advice. I think the very
Speaker 5: first step is to number one, want to That's the
Speaker 5: very thing number one need to want to. But then
Speaker 5: really just starting to take some time getting still and
Speaker 5: just like turning down the volume on all the noise
Speaker 5: around you, put your phone in another room, even I
Speaker 5: it's for five minutes, but just starting to get still
Speaker 5: and just seeing what comes up for you and you
Speaker 5: can ask a question and see like, what does that
Speaker 5: answer feel like? And be patient, especially for people just
Speaker 5: starting to learn how to hear their own intuition. Because
Speaker 5: I think it's like a muscle you build over time.
Speaker 5: And for me, one of the greatest ways that I
Speaker 5: found to build it is you start to look back
Speaker 5: in your life, okay, and look back at moments when
Speaker 5: you had this gut feeling and maybe like you didn't
Speaker 5: trust it, and you listen to everyone else and you
Speaker 5: didn't trust it. You went with what everyone else said
Speaker 5: to you, and then think about those moments and then
Speaker 5: what happened after. And then similarly, think about a moment
Speaker 5: where everyone is telling me to do something, but you
Speaker 5: had that certain feeling and you decided to trust yourself,
Speaker 5: and then think about what happened after. And it's like,
Speaker 5: as we reflect on these moments in our lives, like
Speaker 5: our muscle of just knowing how to tune in and
Speaker 5: hear that voice starts to strengthen. Like so many of
Speaker 5: us have all dated the person where they're like, oh,
Speaker 5: my phone, that's why I disappeared for two days. You know,
Speaker 5: his phone did not break, you know, and maybe you're
Speaker 5: in love, so you're like, okay, you know, it's just like,
Speaker 5: but we've had all these moments, right.
Speaker 1: Jabe, I feel personally attacked.
Speaker 4: Ah, we had these rightly ball.
Speaker 5: And what's beautiful is that they're always happening for us
Speaker 5: because we could look back on her and be like, yep,
Speaker 5: I knew his phone did not break for the tenth time.
Speaker 5: We know. And the more we sort of like tune
Speaker 5: into those things, the stronger our muscle gets. And then
Speaker 5: this is the thing, guys, it's like taking that risk
Speaker 5: of being like, I am gonna trust myself. And here's
Speaker 5: the thing too, Danielle to answer, what if you trust
Speaker 5: yourself and it's a disaster, right, here's what I believe.
Speaker 5: So so when you mentioned the whispers, and in Oprah's books,
Speaker 5: she always talks about like we'll keep relearning the same
Speaker 5: lesson over and over and over until we finally get it.
Speaker 5: And as she puts it, sometimes it's a person just
Speaker 5: in a different set of pants, but like the same
Speaker 5: you again and again, we keep it trapping the same
Speaker 5: person or whatever. I think when you listen, when you
Speaker 5: trust your intuition and act on it, I don't believe
Speaker 5: that it ever leads you down the wrong path. I
Speaker 5: think you might not always get the outcome you want,
Speaker 5: But I believe when you trust yourself, it leads you
Speaker 5: either to the next right step in your life or
Speaker 5: the next right lesson that you're supposed to learn or relearn.
Speaker 2: I want to ask you about a moment where you
Speaker 2: really trusted yourself and it really paid off because you
Speaker 2: turned one of your personal pain points into purpose. I mean,
Speaker 2: you were struggling with Roseasha as a reporter and Jamie.
Speaker 2: I have this really embarrassing story that I have to
Speaker 2: share with you because I was struggling with acne at
Speaker 2: the time when I was working as a reporter in
Speaker 2: New York. So I had this major skin issue and
Speaker 2: I was on set. I was live every night, and
Speaker 2: one night my skin was really bad. I was having
Speaker 2: a really bad breakout and I heard one of the
Speaker 2: crew members say on a hot mic, Wow, she has
Speaker 2: really bad skin. And that moment really made me feel
Speaker 2: so insecure, and it was something that I had to
Speaker 2: kind of like work through while I was also being
Speaker 2: on the air. And I know that you've dealt with
Speaker 2: that too as someone who struggled with a skin condition.
Speaker 2: But tell me about that spark, that moment when this
Speaker 2: idea for it cosmetics really hit you. How did you
Speaker 2: how did your intuition speak to you in that moment?
Speaker 5: Yeah, thank you for sharing that story. By the way
Speaker 5: I started, I was working as a television news anchor
Speaker 5: and actually not dis similar from your story.
Speaker 4: I was live on the air anchoring the news, and.
Speaker 5: I have hereditary resation and gets bright red and bumpy
Speaker 5: all over my cheeks, and you know, I'd gone to
Speaker 5: the dermatologists, try and everything under the sun, and nothing
Speaker 5: would work. And so one day I was anchoring the news,
Speaker 5: I was live, and I hear my earpiece there's something
Speaker 5: on your face. There's something on your face. You need
Speaker 5: to wipe it off. And I knew what it was,
Speaker 5: but I was like, oh, okay, and you can't talk back,
Speaker 5: right because you're like live on television.
Speaker 4: I'm like, okay.
Speaker 5: So during the commercial break, I reached down and I
Speaker 5: got my compact and I tried to cover it and
Speaker 5: it would not cover. And that was the day where
Speaker 5: I started kind of spending my whole paycheck on you know,
Speaker 5: makeup and just trying to find something that would work.
Speaker 5: And tried all the drug store brands, the apartment store
Speaker 5: brands that pro makeup ARTI lines, literally nothing would work.
Speaker 5: I entered this whole season of self doubt in my
Speaker 5: life because I'd be live thinking like, am I going
Speaker 5: to get fired? Am I costing the station ratings? And
Speaker 5: I remember this whisper that I got this this whisper, like,
Speaker 5: you know, if you can't find anything that works for you,
Speaker 5: there's probably a whole lot of other people that maybe
Speaker 5: have given up on makeup too, Like what if you
Speaker 5: figure out how to create something, it probably help a
Speaker 5: whole lot of people if it works for you. And
Speaker 5: I had that whisper, but then really quickly my self
Speaker 5: doubt talk me right out of it, like, oh, but
Speaker 5: you have got no money, you know nothing about the
Speaker 5: beauty industry, you have no connections. And I sat in
Speaker 5: that place between like that knowing and then that self doubt.
Speaker 5: You know, I couldn't understand why are there are thousands
Speaker 5: of makeup companies and nothing, nothing works. It doesn't make
Speaker 5: any sense. And then I realized I've never seen a
Speaker 5: model with right red bumpy Roseasha saying like buy this product,
Speaker 5: and at the time it just wasn't being done. So
Speaker 5: all of a sudden I got this deep kind of
Speaker 5: why or this like premonition I guess where I thought,
Speaker 5: like what if I figured this out and create a
Speaker 5: great product? And like that really felt purposeful and it
Speaker 5: felt true in my gut and my intuition, And that
Speaker 5: was when I made the decision to quit my job,
Speaker 5: which I thought was my dream job, because I remember
Speaker 5: I thought it was going to be doing a talk
Speaker 5: show and all that stuff my whole life. But you guys,
Speaker 5: it was really hard for anyone who's like in the
Speaker 5: middle of something right now and not getting traction. Like
Speaker 5: from the moment I quit my job, poured every penny
Speaker 5: I had into it. It was over three years of
Speaker 5: working out of my living room and hundreds and hundreds
Speaker 5: and hundreds of nos. Teetering on bankruptcy for years. QVC
Speaker 5: said no old tests before it, everyone said no, after no,
Speaker 5: after no. It came down to one moment. All of
Speaker 5: a sudden, this huge moment happened where I got one
Speaker 5: shot on KVC. It was live for ten minutes, and
Speaker 5: this was a moment because everything was on the line.
Speaker 5: We had to every penny went into getting this one shot,
Speaker 5: and if we didn't sell and hit their sales goal,
Speaker 5: we not only didn't come back, we'd have to take
Speaker 5: back all the inventory and not be paid for it.
Speaker 5: So we literally would have been bankrupt. The company would
Speaker 5: have been done. So everything was on this one moment.
Speaker 5: And I just remember I went to KVC a week before,
Speaker 5: like and I sat in this rental car in the
Speaker 5: parking lot all alone, every single day for a week,
Speaker 5: like praying, crying, because these experts were telling me, here's
Speaker 5: what you need to do. Put this type of model
Speaker 5: on air. You might have a chance of hitting your
Speaker 5: sales goal. But my gut was telling me, like that
Speaker 5: is not in alignment with my assignment. Like I know
Speaker 5: what I'm here to do, Like I know in my gut,
Speaker 5: I'm supposed to show my rosation. I'm supposed to show
Speaker 5: you know, real women, every shape and age and size,
Speaker 5: skin tone, skin challenge.
Speaker 4: Like me, I knew it.
Speaker 5: But it's so freaking hard to trust your gut when
Speaker 5: it feels like it has not been working. It feels
Speaker 5: like it must be wrong. It feels like no one
Speaker 5: else sees it. And I walked in the building in
Speaker 5: KVC to get our one big shot right, like we
Speaker 5: had ten minutes and that was it. I wore double
Speaker 5: spanks because uh, I didn't even care how I looked.
Speaker 5: I was sweating so much, and like, I don't get
Speaker 5: nervous for television at all.
Speaker 4: But I thought you.
Speaker 1: Just wanted some Sarah Blakely energy.
Speaker 5: Oh that's I love me some Sarah Blakely energy. That too,
Speaker 5: double Sarah Blakely. I'll take that every day of the week.
Speaker 5: I love her so much, you guys. I was sweating
Speaker 5: and I didn't want to sweat through my dress on
Speaker 5: National TV. And I knew, I'm like, I have to
Speaker 5: trust myself. I would rather trust myself, fall flat on
Speaker 5: my face fail go out of business than like sell
Speaker 5: a bunch of product and live the rest of my
Speaker 5: life like standing for nothing. And I remember the moment
Speaker 5: that I walked to the set and there was a
Speaker 5: host there who was She's amazing, and they had like
Speaker 5: five cameras and I knew that when the red light
Speaker 5: went on, we were going to be live to one
Speaker 5: hundred million homes and we were live. And I remember
Speaker 5: the moment my bright red before shot came up on
Speaker 5: National TV, and like, I remember walking over to all
Speaker 5: these women every age, like we had young women act me,
Speaker 5: you know, hyper pigmentation. I remember calling the beautiful and
Speaker 5: like meaning it with every ounce of my being and
Speaker 5: we were a few minutes in. I remember I remember
Speaker 5: this moment where I wasn't sure how we were doing,
Speaker 5: but I knew I wasn't cut yet.
Speaker 4: I was like, okay, okay.
Speaker 5: And then we got to like the one minute mark
Speaker 5: and the host says, the deep shades almost gone, the
Speaker 5: tan shades almost sold out. And then literally at the
Speaker 5: ten minute mark, this giant sold out sign came up
Speaker 5: across the screen. I started crying. On national television. They
Speaker 5: cut from me and go to like diston vacuum or something.
Speaker 5: My best friend was there as a model, by the way,
Speaker 5: for her hyper pigmentation. She's also my husband comes rushing
Speaker 5: through the double doors. I thought he's gonna hug me right,
Speaker 5: and I'm just like sobbing, and he's like.
Speaker 4: We're not going bankrupt.
Speaker 5: And I'm just like, oh, real women is spoken and
Speaker 5: we built the biggest beauty brand in kvc's history.
Speaker 2: For years.
Speaker 5: They said no, and you're not the right fit, as
Speaker 5: did everyone else. No one can tell you you are
Speaker 5: not the right fit. And somebody else says no is like,
Speaker 5: it is no indication that your dream is gonna work
Speaker 5: or not work. And when you learn to turn down
Speaker 5: the volume on all the no's and to your point,
Speaker 5: turn up the volume on your knowing like that to me,
Speaker 5: if I hadn't learned to do that and trust myself,
Speaker 5: like everything would be so different. You know, we built
Speaker 5: to over a thousand employees, right Lorial paid one point
Speaker 5: two billion dollars cash for the business, and we eventually
Speaker 5: turned every no into a yes, from Sophora and Ulti
Speaker 5: Beauty and all these incredible stores.
Speaker 3: I do I want to ask you about these nos
Speaker 3: because as much as I love hearing about your first
Speaker 3: big yes, you're so clear that you want people to
Speaker 3: understand the nos that you received and how you persevered
Speaker 3: through them. And when we interview amazing women on the show,
Speaker 3: it seems to be one of the through lines to
Speaker 3: be honest. And so our first episode was with Reese Witherspoon,
Speaker 3: and I asked her this question, and I really want
Speaker 3: to ask you the same one, which is which no
Speaker 3: are you most thankful for?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 5: I love that I wrote this whole chapter in my
Speaker 5: book Worthy called when you change your relationship with rejection,
Speaker 5: you change your entire life.
Speaker 4: One of the most beautiful nos.
Speaker 5: I ever got was one of the most painful, and
Speaker 5: it was when an investor who I thought was going
Speaker 5: to be my saving grace, we did so many meetings
Speaker 5: with him that came down to the final meeting, and I'm.
Speaker 4: Like, we're not going to go bankrupt.
Speaker 5: He's going to use his levers to get us into
Speaker 5: stores that are saying no. My husband and I flew
Speaker 5: up for the final meeting. His private EQUIT firm is
Speaker 5: renowned and amazing, and at the very end of this
Speaker 5: product development pitch, he says it's a no, We're going
Speaker 5: to pass on investing and IT Cosmetics. And when I
Speaker 5: asked him why, he got really quiet for a while,
Speaker 5: and then he says, do you want me to be
Speaker 5: really honest with you? And I was like, yes, please,
Speaker 5: and he just said, I just don't think women will
Speaker 5: buy a makeup from someone who looks like you, with
Speaker 5: your body and your weight.
Speaker 4: And I actually never feel anger toward him.
Speaker 5: I got this deep feeling in my gut when he
Speaker 5: said those words that said he's wrong, Like he's wrong,
Speaker 5: you got a whisper, yeah, And I remember, I mean
Speaker 5: I went and cried in my car. All the things
Speaker 5: it was like rejections God's protection. And I believe that
Speaker 5: I believe that that God will block our value from
Speaker 5: someone who's not assigned to our destiny for whoever needs
Speaker 5: to hear this day, who's had their heart broken, who's
Speaker 5: had a friend betray them, he's had someone pull out
Speaker 5: the rug from underneath them, who's applied for the job
Speaker 5: a bunch of times and didn't get it. When I
Speaker 5: get rejected, I will hear God saying to me, Oh,
Speaker 5: you weren't rejected, like I hid your fow you from
Speaker 5: them because they're not assigned to your destiny. So that
Speaker 5: particular investor that said that no. In the day that
Speaker 5: Loreal bought our company for one point two billion dollars cash,
Speaker 5: it was everywhere all over the press, the home beache
Speaker 5: of the Wall Street Journal, and that was the first
Speaker 5: time I heard from him in six years, and he said, uh,
Speaker 5: congratulations on the Loreal deal.
Speaker 4: I was wrong.
Speaker 5: And when he said that, uh, the first thing I
Speaker 5: thought to myself and I and what I wanted to
Speaker 5: say to him was like, big mistake, huge, huge, Like
Speaker 5: I can give you one point two billion reasons why
Speaker 5: it was a huge mistake, like the pretty woman moment
Speaker 5: in the store told you so you're right, Yeah, like
Speaker 5: big mistake. But I kept it classy. I was like, oh,
Speaker 5: thank you. You know that guy. But after im like
Speaker 5: injection is God's protection. Like I was so desperate, like
Speaker 5: nobody was leaving the brand at the time, and I
Speaker 5: probably would have given him the majority of the company
Speaker 5: for like nothing. I would have just been trying to.
Speaker 4: Stay a lot.
Speaker 1: It would have been the wrong deal.
Speaker 4: It would have been the wrong deal. And by the way,
Speaker 4: he probably would have told me to lose weight.
Speaker 5: Who knows what would have happened to throw me off
Speaker 5: my authenticity, you know what I'm saying. And so it's like,
Speaker 5: thank God. So that's my answer to you. That was
Speaker 5: one of my biggest blessings. And I find every no
Speaker 5: is a blessing. We just don't feel it at the time.
Speaker 5: So just like having the faith that it is that
Speaker 5: you know, rejections God's protection and for some people, rejections
Speaker 5: the Universe's protection. Having that knowing helps us becoming more
Speaker 5: fearless and go for things and not doubt ourselves out
Speaker 5: of our own destiny.
Speaker 1: Rejection is God or the Universe's protection.
Speaker 3: That rings so true, and it's something I only fully
Speaker 3: understood once I hit up against a bunch of no's,
Speaker 3: And so I love what you said, Jamie. Every no
Speaker 3: really is a blessing. We have to take a short break,
Speaker 3: but when we come back, we want to talk about
Speaker 3: real practical steps to building self worth.
Speaker 2: Stay with us, and we're back with Jamie currnle Meel. Jamie.
Speaker 2: Something that we talk a lot about on our show
Speaker 2: is the hedonic treadmill. And you brought this up earlier,
Speaker 2: this idea of wanting to achieve and achieve and achieve,
Speaker 2: and yet whenever we reach that destination, that accomplishment, it
Speaker 2: never fully satisfies or fulfills us. I mean, you landed
Speaker 2: on the Forbes Rich Is Self Made Women list, your
Speaker 2: book Worthy has been on the New York Times bestseller
Speaker 2: list for weeks, and you just launched your podcast at
Speaker 2: Jamie Kerrnlema Show. So I want to know, at what
Speaker 2: point did you truly feel successful?
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 5: I had achieved a lot of the things you just
Speaker 5: mentioned and still arrived at them feeling like I wasn't enough.
Speaker 5: And what I didn't know was that there's a huge
Speaker 5: difference between self confidence and self worth. Right, But self
Speaker 5: confidence is, you know, how we assess our skills and abilities.
Speaker 5: It's our willingness to try and go for it. It's
Speaker 5: how much of the world's definition of success we think
Speaker 5: we have if we're winning or losing at the time,
Speaker 5: and our self confidence is fragile, but our self worth
Speaker 5: being that just you know, deep internal belief that we're
Speaker 5: worthy of love and blying exactly as we are. It's different.
Speaker 5: After selling the company all these things, I was about
Speaker 5: to turn forty years old and a lifelong dream came
Speaker 5: true and I met Oprah and it was the most
Speaker 5: incredible moment. And I wrote her a letter after and
Speaker 5: got a phone call and she invited me to her
Speaker 5: house for lunch. So at the time, I was really
Speaker 5: confident I had achieved a lot of things, but I
Speaker 5: didn't understand that self worth is different, and I literally
Speaker 5: sabotaged the entire thing.
Speaker 4: I went to her.
Speaker 5: House, I had a three hour lunch with her. It
Speaker 5: was incredible. She's like seriously, and I mean.
Speaker 4: I was just like, how is this happening?
Speaker 5: All the things, the best three hour lunch. At the
Speaker 5: very end of it, she wrote me a note and
Speaker 5: put her cell phone number on it and she said
Speaker 5: call me anytime. You can call me anytime. And I'm
Speaker 5: like trying to be super cool, right and I'm like, okay, okay,
Speaker 5: you know, and I like leave her house. I did
Speaker 5: not call her for four years, did not call her. Yep, boy,
Speaker 5: now remember why? For four years I told myself stories like, oh,
Speaker 5: I just need to like think of the perfect thing
Speaker 5: to say, then I'm gonna call her, or everyone probably
Speaker 5: wants something from her. I'm gonna prove I don't need nothing.
Speaker 5: Four years later, it hit me the real reason I
Speaker 5: had not called her was because, deep down and sorrow,
Speaker 5: I did not believe I was worthy of being her friend.
Speaker 5: That is the day I became obsessed with studying self worth.
Speaker 5: That is the day I picked up the phone and
Speaker 5: called her. Literally, that is the day where I realized
Speaker 5: you cannot outsucceed your level of self worth. Your self
Speaker 5: worth will always become your ceiling. In every air of life,
Speaker 5: we all know somebody who's like this amazing girl and
Speaker 5: she's like got everything, and you're like, why is she
Speaker 5: in a relationship with someone who treats her horribly? It's
Speaker 5: because you can build a lot of self confidence, but
Speaker 5: deep down inside you do not believe you're worthy of
Speaker 5: love and Blondie exactly as you are, not as you achieve,
Speaker 5: not as you fail, but exactly innately as who you are.
Speaker 5: Like that will be your ceiling always, and so you'll
Speaker 5: sabotage the thing if you don't believe you're worthy of it.
Speaker 4: And I did that with Oprah.
Speaker 5: So I think that's why building our self worth is
Speaker 5: truly like the most I think it's the most important
Speaker 5: journey that we can all be on, and it's a
Speaker 5: lifelong one, and for me, it's every day I have
Speaker 5: to check myself.
Speaker 3: I think that's so impactful and powerful and inspiring, and
Speaker 3: the idea of just believe in yourself feels so simple,
Speaker 3: and yet in practice it's really challenging. Those four years
Speaker 3: where you said you didn't call Oprah.
Speaker 1: What kind of work were you doing?
Speaker 3: I'm curious to learn from you some of these, like
Speaker 3: real practical steps that we can do to start building
Speaker 3: that foundation.
Speaker 5: This is the most important thing to know with how
Speaker 5: we start building self worth is it's not every single
Speaker 5: person that's listening to us right now. I do not
Speaker 5: care how many mistakes you have made, how many.
Speaker 4: Any of it.
Speaker 5: You are only innately worthy, exactly as you are, And
Speaker 5: that's the most beautiful thing. And the journey of building
Speaker 5: selfware starts with realizing, like there's not a whole bunch
Speaker 5: of things I got to learn. We can learn a
Speaker 5: whole bunch of things and build our self confidence, but
Speaker 5: self worth is so often a journey of unlearning. It's
Speaker 5: a journey of like unlearning all the lies that lead
Speaker 5: to self doubt that we've learned over the years, And
Speaker 5: one of the greatest ones to start with is we
Speaker 5: so often believe the lie if I am me, I
Speaker 5: won't be loved, that won't be invited into.
Speaker 4: The thing if they only knew.
Speaker 5: I'm not as funny enough, I'm not as cool enough,
Speaker 5: I'm not as smart enough like. We all have those thoughts,
Speaker 5: and they lead us to showing up as our representative,
Speaker 5: as who we think we need to be in the room.
Speaker 5: And when we show up as our representative, it might
Speaker 5: get the approval from people around us who are also
Speaker 5: shown up because they're representative. But slowly but surely, it
Speaker 5: chips away in our own self worth because we're telling
Speaker 5: ourselves we're unworthy of being who we truly are. The
Speaker 5: very first step to building self worth is one little
Speaker 5: baby step at a time, being who you truly are,
Speaker 5: saying what you really mean, saying how you really feel,
Speaker 5: and actually tuning in to hear that and to ask
Speaker 5: yourself because a lot of people, especially girls and women,
Speaker 5: they're great at sensing and being an EmPATH and sensing
Speaker 5: what everyone else is feeling, and they don't take time
Speaker 5: to go who am I, how do I feel? Why
Speaker 5: am I here on this earth? And what do I
Speaker 5: have to offer? And then living that answer.
Speaker 2: Jamie, I'm so glad you brought that up, because you
Speaker 2: really have tapped into something that is universal, that is
Speaker 2: integral to womanhood, to identity. Yes you're an entrepreneur, Yes
Speaker 2: you're a podcaster and a talk show host, but you're
Speaker 2: you're leading a ministry. Really, I mean that's you minister
Speaker 2: to so many women through this book. What are women
Speaker 2: telling you when you're interacting with them in those moments
Speaker 2: after you speak, when they come up to you and
Speaker 2: they hold your hand and they're really looking to you
Speaker 2: for this guidance and this empowerment that you provide in
Speaker 2: this book.
Speaker 5: I think the biggest thing is that people feel really
Speaker 5: seen and understood. Just about every person that comes up
Speaker 5: is saying, like I struggle with this every single day,
Speaker 5: Like with doubting, I'm enough with doubting. I have what
Speaker 5: it takes with doubting I'm worthy of unconditional love, of
Speaker 5: applying for the promotion or asking for the raise, and
Speaker 5: putting on a swimsuit, putting my art out there in
Speaker 5: the world. And so the book worthy is, it's wild,
Speaker 5: it's taking on this life of its own because women
Speaker 5: are sharing it, like they're giving their copy to another
Speaker 5: woman and path So I did like this library card,
Speaker 5: old school library card on the very back of the book,
Speaker 5: with the intention of like, when you're done with this,
Speaker 5: to write another woman's name in and pass the book
Speaker 5: to her and keep it going, you know what I mean,
Speaker 5: and keep it going. Because for a lot of people,
Speaker 5: they might have thought I just needed to achieve more,
Speaker 5: but that's actually not the answer, or I just needed
Speaker 5: to hit my certain goal weight, or I just needed
Speaker 5: to get my book published or whatever it might be, right,
Speaker 5: and that's actually not it. It's how do I learn
Speaker 5: to believe I'm enough as I am? And by the way,
Speaker 5: a lot of people worry, well, if I believe I'm
Speaker 5: enough as I am am, I going to lose all
Speaker 5: my ambition, And it's like, no, you're actually not going
Speaker 5: to lose your ambition. You actually become more ambitious when
Speaker 5: you feel fully worthy as you are, because you know,
Speaker 5: if you go for it and fall flat on your
Speaker 5: face and fail, you might shake your confidence for a minute,
Speaker 5: but it cannot touch your self worth, and so you
Speaker 5: actually become in a way more ambitious, the greater your
Speaker 5: self worth.
Speaker 3: Jamie, I have one last question for you, and I
Speaker 3: know it's going to be kind of personal, But what
Speaker 3: are the whispers telling you now? Because you've just you've
Speaker 3: accomplished so much, what's inside of you now?
Speaker 4: Every day?
Speaker 5: I still am on that journey of learning to believe
Speaker 5: I'm worthy of having fun, worthy of offering what feels
Speaker 5: like in alignment with my assignment. So the whispers right
Speaker 5: now are me working really really hard to get better
Speaker 5: at just getting still at asking God, how are you
Speaker 5: going to use me? Like how am I supposed to
Speaker 5: be used in this life? And then trusting that and
Speaker 5: living that answer and not getting confused with the old
Speaker 5: lies I used to believe that I need to achieve
Speaker 5: enough to be enough, And so I'm kind of on
Speaker 5: that journey now of you know, walking into the show
Speaker 5: with the two of you today, is you know, my
Speaker 5: whole intention is, you know, is that I hope something
Speaker 5: we talk about is of service for someone listening, and
Speaker 5: to just be an appreciation and on of the two
Speaker 5: of you for this offering that you guys are doing
Speaker 5: through the show and putting out into the world and
Speaker 5: just kind of to be present in it and enjoy it.
Speaker 5: And the old me would have been different. It would
Speaker 5: have been like, how much am I doing today? And
Speaker 5: so for me now, the whispers say, you know, be
Speaker 5: here with some own and Daniell'll have you know, be
Speaker 5: in this moment, be of service, try to enjoy it
Speaker 5: and try to live the answer that is the dream
Speaker 5: that I'm trying to tune in that God has for me,
Speaker 5: because I think we all have purpose in this life,
Speaker 5: and I think that if we don't learn to like
Speaker 5: really listen to what that is and what feels right
Speaker 5: when we're doing it, we can so easily, you know,
Speaker 5: talk ourselves out of our own truth and be living
Speaker 5: someone else's life or dream for ourselves or societies, which
Speaker 5: never feels fulfilling.
Speaker 3: Love it. Thank you so much, Jamie. This was a
Speaker 3: really full hearted conversation.
Speaker 5: Thank you, Jamie well, thank you for having full hearted
Speaker 5: conversations like the world needs this show. And then what
Speaker 5: the two of you are putting out there, so I'm
Speaker 5: just honored to be here with you both, So thank you.
Speaker 3: Jamie Kern Lima is a New York Times best selling author, entrepreneur,
Speaker 3: and founder of IT Cosmetics.
Speaker 2: That's it for today's show. Tomorrow. It's the fourth of July,
Speaker 2: and writer and editor Matty Kahn is here to help
Speaker 2: us shine a light on the women throughout American history
Speaker 2: who fought for our rights.
Speaker 3: Listen and follow the bright Side on the iHeartRadio app,
Speaker 3: Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: I'm Simone Voice.
Speaker 2: You can find me at simone Voice on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 3: I'm Danielle Robe on Instagram and TikTok.
Speaker 1: That's ro Ba.
Speaker 2: Y see you tomorrow, folks. Keep looking on the bright side.