WEBVTT - Is It Time To Live Together?

0:00:02.800 --> 0:00:06.480
<v Speaker 1>Hey there, everybody. Welcome to a special, very very special

0:00:06.640 --> 0:00:10.480
<v Speaker 1>edition episode here of Amy and DJ Rope sitting next

0:00:10.480 --> 0:00:12.360
<v Speaker 1>to me. Reunited and it feels so good. Who does

0:00:12.400 --> 0:00:12.719
<v Speaker 1>that song?

0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh? I don't know, but I love it. It's a

0:00:15.960 --> 0:00:18.040
<v Speaker 2>united and it feels so good.

0:00:18.600 --> 0:00:19.319
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, I didn't.

0:00:20.880 --> 0:00:22.160
<v Speaker 2>I feel like it's on the tip of my toe

0:00:22.160 --> 0:00:22.560
<v Speaker 2>and he's.

0:00:22.400 --> 0:00:24.400
<v Speaker 1>About to get it for us.

0:00:24.239 --> 0:00:26.720
<v Speaker 2>It's a it's a pair, it's a it's like something

0:00:26.800 --> 0:00:28.880
<v Speaker 2>and something. What is it?

0:00:28.960 --> 0:00:29.760
<v Speaker 1>Amy and DJ?

0:00:30.040 --> 0:00:35.960
<v Speaker 2>No? No, no, oh oh Peaches and Herbs, Yes, yes, yes,

0:00:36.560 --> 0:00:41.640
<v Speaker 2>reunited and it feels so good. No, I'm not there's

0:00:41.680 --> 0:00:43.159
<v Speaker 2>a reason why Peaches and Herbs sings it.

0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:46.800
<v Speaker 1>I was surprised when you A lot of people know

0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:49.360
<v Speaker 1>you took a trip to see your daughter in Berlin

0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:53.680
<v Speaker 1>last weekend. You're going for what four nights, three nights.

0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:55.080
<v Speaker 2>Three nights for four days?

0:00:55.120 --> 0:00:57.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, it's four days. I and I expressed on

0:00:57.760 --> 0:01:01.040
<v Speaker 1>a previous episode of the podcast that how I feel

0:01:01.080 --> 0:01:03.840
<v Speaker 1>when you travel, when we travel apart, I'm not comfortable

0:01:03.840 --> 0:01:05.360
<v Speaker 1>with it, don't like it. I was surprised to hear

0:01:05.400 --> 0:01:08.080
<v Speaker 1>from you that you said that got people's attention and

0:01:08.120 --> 0:01:10.560
<v Speaker 1>made headlines to some degree. Yeah. I was very surprised to.

0:01:10.560 --> 0:01:13.600
<v Speaker 2>Hear that, right because it would make sense. I mean,

0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.800
<v Speaker 2>I think maybe a lot of men wouldn't want to

0:01:15.880 --> 0:01:18.160
<v Speaker 2>admit they don't like it. I think you might have

0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:21.240
<v Speaker 2>even said you hated when I traveled without you.

0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:23.840
<v Speaker 1>Why is that why you say most men like that?

0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:25.600
<v Speaker 2>I feel like maybe there's an ego to it where

0:01:25.600 --> 0:01:27.120
<v Speaker 2>you're just like, oh, I'm cool, I'm fine, I'm going

0:01:27.160 --> 0:01:29.200
<v Speaker 2>to do my thing. I'm hanging out with my boys,

0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.720
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing my stuff. So for you to admit that

0:01:32.800 --> 0:01:36.039
<v Speaker 2>you didn't like it, I think was maybe some people

0:01:36.080 --> 0:01:38.800
<v Speaker 2>would say brave.

0:01:37.880 --> 0:01:40.000
<v Speaker 1>Written come on, let's not go that far now.

0:01:40.040 --> 0:01:44.039
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's really I think ego is involved in so

0:01:44.160 --> 0:01:46.959
<v Speaker 2>many relationships. It affects so many of our decisions, what

0:01:47.000 --> 0:01:49.880
<v Speaker 2>we say, maybe even what we aren't willing to say.

0:01:49.920 --> 0:01:53.560
<v Speaker 2>More than anything, we don't want to admit any kind

0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:55.760
<v Speaker 2>of vulnerability, So that maybe struck a chord.

0:01:55.960 --> 0:01:58.520
<v Speaker 1>It was you know what I didn't You and I

0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:01.960
<v Speaker 1>have been doing this for a while now with sometimes travel.

0:02:02.240 --> 0:02:05.000
<v Speaker 1>It's rare that we have to travel apart. But when

0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:09.240
<v Speaker 1>you travel, we I don't know, we have a difficult

0:02:09.280 --> 0:02:12.239
<v Speaker 1>time in our relationship. There's a distance. It's it's odd,

0:02:12.400 --> 0:02:14.440
<v Speaker 1>it's it takes us out of a rhythm that we

0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:18.400
<v Speaker 1>have in being up under sundery together. But yeah, we

0:02:18.400 --> 0:02:20.280
<v Speaker 1>don't talk as much as we used to in it

0:02:20.800 --> 0:02:22.200
<v Speaker 1>as we're accustomed doing.

0:02:22.240 --> 0:02:24.880
<v Speaker 2>And it's when we're apart, right, it's not good. But

0:02:25.000 --> 0:02:27.800
<v Speaker 2>this isn't anything new because when this is the truth,

0:02:27.880 --> 0:02:30.800
<v Speaker 2>when we were just friends and it was endearing then

0:02:30.840 --> 0:02:33.200
<v Speaker 2>and maybe it's a little bit more difficult now, but

0:02:33.280 --> 0:02:35.600
<v Speaker 2>when we were just friends. Do you remember every time

0:02:35.639 --> 0:02:38.120
<v Speaker 2>I travel, and I am a big traveler. I love

0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:41.120
<v Speaker 2>That's how I spend my money. I don't buy things.

0:02:41.240 --> 0:02:44.120
<v Speaker 2>I love experiences. So I've always been a big traveler.

0:02:44.600 --> 0:02:48.079
<v Speaker 2>And when we were even just coworkers and friends, when

0:02:48.120 --> 0:02:50.600
<v Speaker 2>I would come back, we would say there was an awkwardness.

0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:52.880
<v Speaker 2>You're loving to you take us a couple days. You

0:02:52.880 --> 0:02:55.720
<v Speaker 2>would say, oh my god, we're being awkward now because

0:02:55.760 --> 0:03:01.360
<v Speaker 2>you've been gone, And somehow it shifted out dynamic even

0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:05.560
<v Speaker 2>as friends. I remember you always, and we struggled a

0:03:05.600 --> 0:03:07.359
<v Speaker 2>little bit for the first couple of days, and we

0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:09.400
<v Speaker 2>got to a point where we could laugh at it, like, oh,

0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:11.880
<v Speaker 2>here's the awkward phase. And you would even like text

0:03:11.880 --> 0:03:13.519
<v Speaker 2>me like, oh did you land great? Can't wait for

0:03:13.560 --> 0:03:15.959
<v Speaker 2>the next two days of awkwardness because it was all

0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:17.920
<v Speaker 2>But it was this strange thing because I think we

0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:21.079
<v Speaker 2>just get used to, like you said, our rhythm or

0:03:21.080 --> 0:03:24.520
<v Speaker 2>we're constantly together and we enjoy it and it doesn't

0:03:24.560 --> 0:03:28.040
<v Speaker 2>feel I think more than most people, we just are

0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:33.560
<v Speaker 2>always together. And so when that is changed, there is

0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:36.560
<v Speaker 2>a shift. And yeah, it takes them getting used to

0:03:36.760 --> 0:03:38.880
<v Speaker 2>when I'm leaving or when you're leaving, and then when

0:03:38.920 --> 0:03:41.840
<v Speaker 2>we're coming back together. It also takes some time to

0:03:42.360 --> 0:03:43.800
<v Speaker 2>readjust what's today.

0:03:43.840 --> 0:03:47.839
<v Speaker 1>So we are you've been back for I guess we're

0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:51.040
<v Speaker 1>recording this three days or so. We're still finding our rhythm.

0:03:51.160 --> 0:03:52.440
<v Speaker 2>I feel like today we really hit it.

0:03:52.480 --> 0:03:53.080
<v Speaker 1>We find.

0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:58.640
<v Speaker 2>We're back and we're about to go on vacation together.

0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:04.760
<v Speaker 2>So we're excited and yeah, but no, but always you know,

0:04:04.880 --> 0:04:08.520
<v Speaker 2>it's true from the very beginning when we were separated

0:04:08.600 --> 0:04:12.560
<v Speaker 2>for whatever reason, even as colleagues, it was weird when

0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:14.720
<v Speaker 2>we got back together, like hey, hey, yeah, no I

0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.839
<v Speaker 2>didn't I didn't miss you either, cool, all right, Yeah,

0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:18.280
<v Speaker 2>it was like this thing that.

0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:23.039
<v Speaker 1>Was just me trying to mask my true feelings. No,

0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:26.120
<v Speaker 1>it's always the case. This time, I'm so curious because

0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:29.720
<v Speaker 1>it did. It was Look, when you're all right to

0:04:29.920 --> 0:04:33.600
<v Speaker 1>people who are out there in a relationship, the person

0:04:33.760 --> 0:04:37.320
<v Speaker 1>leaves on vacation, let's say, with their boys or with

0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:39.599
<v Speaker 1>their girls, but it's kind of a that kind of

0:04:39.600 --> 0:04:44.599
<v Speaker 1>a trip for fun. Like what is the expectation for

0:04:44.760 --> 0:04:48.600
<v Speaker 1>communication when you know that other person is in the

0:04:48.640 --> 0:04:53.320
<v Speaker 1>middle of partying, sometimes in a different time zone. What

0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:57.160
<v Speaker 1>should the expectation be of communication?

0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:01.240
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's tough, Like how how finn should you be

0:05:01.279 --> 0:05:03.760
<v Speaker 2>looking at your phone when the people who you're with

0:05:03.800 --> 0:05:05.880
<v Speaker 2>are expecting you not to be looking at your phone,

0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:07.719
<v Speaker 2>But you know, you still want to be connected to

0:05:07.760 --> 0:05:09.480
<v Speaker 2>the person who you left behind.

0:05:09.520 --> 0:05:11.839
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you want to be connected is one thing. The

0:05:11.880 --> 0:05:14.760
<v Speaker 1>other thing is let me make sure I make that

0:05:14.839 --> 0:05:18.120
<v Speaker 1>other person feel like I'm connected to them, which seems

0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:19.400
<v Speaker 1>like more of a danger zone.

0:05:19.320 --> 0:05:23.440
<v Speaker 2>Right Anyway, we're still working that part out. If anyone

0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:25.240
<v Speaker 2>has any thoughts, we're open to them.

0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:29.240
<v Speaker 1>But yes, yes, what you you ghosted me on Sunday,

0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:32.760
<v Speaker 1>completely ghosted.

0:05:32.560 --> 0:05:35.560
<v Speaker 2>And I did apologize because we were racing from one

0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:38.480
<v Speaker 2>thing to another, and then you actually ended up reaching

0:05:38.480 --> 0:05:40.920
<v Speaker 2>out to my two girlfriends to find out if everything

0:05:41.080 --> 0:05:41.640
<v Speaker 2>was okay.

0:05:42.240 --> 0:05:46.560
<v Speaker 1>And then I was like, oh no, I knew, Okay,

0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.080
<v Speaker 1>that sounds crazy, but that was a six hour stretch

0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:52.800
<v Speaker 1>that I didn't hear from you after reaching out to you.

0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:56.480
<v Speaker 1>Now there is a certain degree where I go, Okay,

0:05:56.839 --> 0:05:58.600
<v Speaker 1>I get it, she's with a girl, she's in the

0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:01.400
<v Speaker 1>middle of something. But when there is no response of it,

0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.680
<v Speaker 1>now I get concerned, right, And I know obviously the

0:06:04.720 --> 0:06:06.760
<v Speaker 1>friends well enough, Morgan and Nikki to where I can

0:06:07.120 --> 0:06:08.960
<v Speaker 1>reach out to them say. And all I said was, Hey,

0:06:09.000 --> 0:06:11.000
<v Speaker 1>everything okay, And I said, I'm sorry for you even

0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:11.560
<v Speaker 1>have to ask.

0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:13.960
<v Speaker 2>I know, I know, I won't make excuses. It's just

0:06:14.080 --> 0:06:16.040
<v Speaker 2>it is one of those things where as soon as

0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:18.479
<v Speaker 2>that happened, I felt awful because I that did happen

0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:21.000
<v Speaker 2>one time, and this wasn't on purpose, but the Dominican

0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:23.680
<v Speaker 2>Republic you didn't have service, and I actually I thought

0:06:23.680 --> 0:06:26.200
<v Speaker 2>you were dead. I had convinced myself that you either

0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:29.160
<v Speaker 2>the plane had crashed, you had gone off the road,

0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:34.120
<v Speaker 2>you had been like attacked by bandits. I was actually.

0:06:33.880 --> 0:06:36.120
<v Speaker 1>Crying all legit possible.

0:06:36.320 --> 0:06:39.640
<v Speaker 2>And it had been probably the same, like maybe four

0:06:39.720 --> 0:06:41.880
<v Speaker 2>or five hours same thing. So I do know what

0:06:41.880 --> 0:06:44.960
<v Speaker 2>that feels like, and it feels awful. So I apologize again.

0:06:45.400 --> 0:06:50.240
<v Speaker 1>No, I just what is the I do? Because what

0:06:50.400 --> 0:06:53.320
<v Speaker 1>is the expected? What should? What is the norm? And

0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:55.160
<v Speaker 1>I was genuinely concerned. I didn't think you were doing

0:06:55.160 --> 0:06:57.200
<v Speaker 1>something clubbing? Who should wit? It was just a matter

0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:58.560
<v Speaker 1>of ye is everything okay?

0:06:58.600 --> 0:07:00.760
<v Speaker 2>We were running around. My phone was in my person.

0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:02.680
<v Speaker 2>You know what it is, the Apple Watch. I didn't

0:07:02.680 --> 0:07:05.200
<v Speaker 2>bring the charger, and that is a godsend. I will say,

0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:08.880
<v Speaker 2>when you are going around, if you have an Apple

0:07:08.880 --> 0:07:11.160
<v Speaker 2>Watch on and you can hear the buzz when a message,

0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:13.040
<v Speaker 2>then you get alerted. If you don't have your phone

0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:15.240
<v Speaker 2>with you because you're trying to be present, you can

0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:17.600
<v Speaker 2>forget like time can just slip away. But if you've

0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:19.960
<v Speaker 2>got the Apple Watch on, at least you know, oh,

0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:21.440
<v Speaker 2>someone's trying to get a hold of me, and you

0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.160
<v Speaker 2>can make a decision. I should have brought the charger.

0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:26.040
<v Speaker 1>I love no, no, no, I love you. I don't think

0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.200
<v Speaker 1>you should need an Apple Watch or an Apple charger

0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.200
<v Speaker 1>to remember after six hours that you're still in a

0:07:30.200 --> 0:07:30.920
<v Speaker 1>relationship with me.

0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:36.440
<v Speaker 2>I didn't forget I was in a relationship with you.

0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:37.800
<v Speaker 1>You didn't care that you were in a lationship.

0:07:37.800 --> 0:07:39.160
<v Speaker 2>I just didn't check my phone.

0:07:39.440 --> 0:07:41.600
<v Speaker 1>You didn't have to check it. You shouldn't pick up

0:07:41.600 --> 0:07:43.360
<v Speaker 1>your phone to check to see if I message you

0:07:43.800 --> 0:07:45.760
<v Speaker 1>after six hours? Shouldn't you pick up your phone and

0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.040
<v Speaker 1>wants to message the person that you want to be with.

0:07:49.240 --> 0:07:51.800
<v Speaker 3>Yes, you are right, and if you.

0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:54.480
<v Speaker 1>Don't, then that sends a message to.

0:07:54.440 --> 0:07:57.040
<v Speaker 2>The person that I was in Like that.

0:07:57.280 --> 0:08:01.800
<v Speaker 4>Maybe, Andy, there are signs that this thing isn't going

0:08:01.880 --> 0:08:02.480
<v Speaker 4>to work out.

0:08:02.920 --> 0:08:06.400
<v Speaker 2>Okay, Wow, I love your trend.

0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:07.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's great.

0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:08.239
<v Speaker 2>That's great.

0:08:08.320 --> 0:08:11.280
<v Speaker 1>Well, No, our producer Andy here just pointed something else

0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:13.400
<v Speaker 1>to us. It's a list say that I'm gonna mess

0:08:13.400 --> 0:08:14.720
<v Speaker 1>it up. It's a list of what again?

0:08:15.080 --> 0:08:19.040
<v Speaker 5>This is the eleven signs a relationship isn't meant to be?

0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:23.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So sign number one is no contact after six hours?

0:08:24.280 --> 0:08:24.840
<v Speaker 5>Seeing that?

0:08:25.480 --> 0:08:27.360
<v Speaker 2>Okay, thank you, thank you?

0:08:27.760 --> 0:08:31.360
<v Speaker 1>Okay. Eleven signs warning signs or just.

0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:33.679
<v Speaker 5>Eleven early signs of relationship isn't meant to be?

0:08:33.920 --> 0:08:35.959
<v Speaker 1>Is it meant to be? Okay? What's number one on

0:08:36.000 --> 0:08:36.760
<v Speaker 1>the list? Andy?

0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:37.080
<v Speaker 3>Uh?

0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:40.120
<v Speaker 5>Number one is you're somewhat bored of talking to them.

0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:42.520
<v Speaker 2>Now we're going okay, we don't get more.

0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:43.880
<v Speaker 1>Damn it, I can't even try.

0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:47.600
<v Speaker 2>That wasn't even all I can't even Okay, Okay, we're good.

0:08:47.600 --> 0:08:49.360
<v Speaker 1>There, we're good. There to go.

0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:51.960
<v Speaker 5>Number two, Number two, Number two, Only one of you

0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:53.959
<v Speaker 5>is putting in most of the effort.

0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:59.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh, come on, we moth put in effort. Stop. Okay, six,

0:09:00.440 --> 0:09:03.200
<v Speaker 2>I admit I did not which short of that that

0:09:03.280 --> 0:09:03.920
<v Speaker 2>was a one off.

0:09:05.240 --> 0:09:06.559
<v Speaker 1>No, I don't think that's it. We don't have it.

0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:07.280
<v Speaker 2>No, we don't have that.

0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:09.920
<v Speaker 1>All right, all right, we two for two. We're okay,

0:09:09.960 --> 0:09:11.160
<v Speaker 1>we're okay, all right.

0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:14.079
<v Speaker 5>Can I ask what you both define as effort?

0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:15.040
<v Speaker 1>Maybe effort?

0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:17.800
<v Speaker 2>Oh, thinking of the other person first, what do they like?

0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:21.400
<v Speaker 2>What would they want? Just kind of considering what I

0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:24.960
<v Speaker 2>think they would like versus what you want, And I.

0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.319
<v Speaker 1>Would just say that's more detail. But I would just

0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.440
<v Speaker 1>say equal effort. There's never a time where I feel

0:09:29.440 --> 0:09:31.440
<v Speaker 1>like I'm doing more than she is. There's never a

0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:33.040
<v Speaker 1>time where she's doing so much and I say, oh,

0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:34.480
<v Speaker 1>I need to pick it up a little bit. I

0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:36.920
<v Speaker 1>don't ever think there's a drop off in effort with

0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:37.640
<v Speaker 1>either one of us.

0:09:37.760 --> 0:09:39.800
<v Speaker 2>I agree completely, That's what I'm saying.

0:09:40.240 --> 0:09:43.280
<v Speaker 5>Well, Number three is there's minimal trust between the two

0:09:43.360 --> 0:09:43.560
<v Speaker 5>of you.

0:09:45.520 --> 0:09:48.439
<v Speaker 2>I think, Oh, we totally trust each other. I have

0:09:48.559 --> 0:09:52.839
<v Speaker 2>to we have to do this, no way. Oh absolutely,

0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:58.760
<v Speaker 2>that's the last thing I'm worried about.

0:09:58.840 --> 0:10:01.480
<v Speaker 1>Even if I don't don't want to, I don't have

0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:06.120
<v Speaker 1>a choice at this point. Were good, that's qualified.

0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:09.200
<v Speaker 2>Were three for three. We're three for three. High five.

0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:13.199
<v Speaker 5>Number four. Your values are on very different pages.

0:10:13.320 --> 0:10:16.079
<v Speaker 2>No, No, they're very much on the same page. In fact,

0:10:16.120 --> 0:10:19.360
<v Speaker 2>I've said this a lot. I think something huge for me,

0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:23.200
<v Speaker 2>having had all the life experiences I've had. If you

0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.840
<v Speaker 2>have the same mode of operation and you value the

0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:30.080
<v Speaker 2>same sorts of things, that's something that is I regard

0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:33.280
<v Speaker 2>so highly, and I recognize how important that is just

0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:37.160
<v Speaker 2>to because you know what, the daily operations of life

0:10:37.160 --> 0:10:41.120
<v Speaker 2>can just wear a relationship down. If you approach things differently,

0:10:41.240 --> 0:10:43.560
<v Speaker 2>if you value the same things, it just makes things

0:10:43.679 --> 0:10:46.160
<v Speaker 2>a lot easier and fights a lot more rare.

0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:50.320
<v Speaker 1>I can't say it any better than that. Yeah, we do.

0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:52.960
<v Speaker 1>We are discovering more and more day and day out, like, wow,

0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:54.959
<v Speaker 1>we really do operate the same Yeah, so.

0:10:55.559 --> 0:11:07.480
<v Speaker 2>Wow, wow, four for four. Keep them coming, Andy.

0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:11.600
<v Speaker 5>Number five, You frequently bicker and fight about the small

0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:12.920
<v Speaker 5>things small.

0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:15.000
<v Speaker 1>No, no, no, we may we're gonna find about the same things.

0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:17.839
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but and it's not frequently. I would say, it's

0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:19.400
<v Speaker 2>like once every six weeks.

0:11:19.920 --> 0:11:22.240
<v Speaker 1>The same fight. Yes, and that drives me crazy. It's

0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:22.600
<v Speaker 1>the same.

0:11:22.760 --> 0:11:25.080
<v Speaker 2>No, I know, it drives us both crazy. But we

0:11:25.120 --> 0:11:28.840
<v Speaker 2>don't frequently bicker. We do. God, I would never describe

0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:29.880
<v Speaker 2>what we do as bicker.

0:11:30.040 --> 0:11:33.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, we have big blowouts. If we're gonna do this,

0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:34.959
<v Speaker 1>let's do it.

0:11:35.080 --> 0:11:36.160
<v Speaker 2>Let's go bigger, go home.

0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:41.199
<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, we don't have little no.

0:11:40.120 --> 0:11:42.680
<v Speaker 2>No, no, no, you know that might be nice, but no,

0:11:42.760 --> 0:11:44.640
<v Speaker 2>we don't pick at each other. We don't nag it

0:11:44.679 --> 0:11:47.280
<v Speaker 2>each other. And that's the thing. Actually, I do appreciate

0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:51.360
<v Speaker 2>that too, because I think that is something that I'm

0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:54.280
<v Speaker 2>just grateful for and I recognize we do not nag

0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:54.640
<v Speaker 2>each other.

0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:56.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, no, no, no, we don't do that. That wou

0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:58.280
<v Speaker 1>over no quickly.

0:11:59.280 --> 0:11:59.600
<v Speaker 2>Okay.

0:11:59.880 --> 0:12:02.360
<v Speaker 5>In the early stages, that wasn't a thing because.

0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:07.120
<v Speaker 2>No, even as friends, I think we used to. One

0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:09.199
<v Speaker 2>of the things we loved about each other hanging out.

0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 2>We just kept always saying to each other, it's so

0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:13.319
<v Speaker 2>easy with you, like you just get me, like it

0:12:13.480 --> 0:12:16.400
<v Speaker 2>was that was a huge sign that we just always

0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:19.560
<v Speaker 2>wanted to hang out. So even as friends, that's awesome.

0:12:20.600 --> 0:12:24.360
<v Speaker 5>Number Six, time around each other makes you feel drained.

0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:30.520
<v Speaker 2>No, I'm drained when I'm not with him. I've said

0:12:30.559 --> 0:12:32.839
<v Speaker 2>this and you've admitted it that your moody. And I asked,

0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.640
<v Speaker 2>if I asked you, would you describe me as moody?

0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.880
<v Speaker 2>And you said, no, you just have different levels. Yes,

0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:43.280
<v Speaker 2>of intensity. Yeah, you too, I'm kind of the same mood.

0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:44.720
<v Speaker 2>But it's just if you're going to get a lot

0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:46.560
<v Speaker 2>of me or just a little less of me.

0:12:46.800 --> 0:12:51.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if it's me, he's going to be sad, he's

0:12:51.160 --> 0:12:53.440
<v Speaker 1>going to be happy, he's going to be angry, he's

0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.400
<v Speaker 1>going to be these things. Yeah, you are either at

0:12:56.400 --> 0:13:01.600
<v Speaker 1>a ten, a seven, or three of whatever the mood is.

0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:04.080
<v Speaker 1>It's just you're just there all the time.

0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:06.839
<v Speaker 2>So no, no, no, but we don't wear each other out.

0:13:07.080 --> 0:13:11.920
<v Speaker 1>Oh god, no, no, no, no, oh man, early sign,

0:13:11.960 --> 0:13:12.840
<v Speaker 1>what is it the list again?

0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:17.040
<v Speaker 5>Smoking relationship isn't meant to be. I feel like it

0:13:17.080 --> 0:13:19.440
<v Speaker 5>makes sense though, because if you guys started as friends,

0:13:19.600 --> 0:13:21.480
<v Speaker 5>it's like you got to know each other as friends,

0:13:21.800 --> 0:13:23.400
<v Speaker 5>so you would know as a friend whether or not

0:13:23.480 --> 0:13:24.440
<v Speaker 5>you liked and.

0:13:24.360 --> 0:13:27.040
<v Speaker 2>We were always together. So if we had worn each

0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:29.360
<v Speaker 2>other out initially, just like, oh my god, I'm mentally

0:13:29.400 --> 0:13:31.480
<v Speaker 2>exhausted by this person or he's an energy what do

0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:35.080
<v Speaker 2>they call them energy vampires? No, it's I feel like

0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.079
<v Speaker 2>I got like energized.

0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:39.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, it's true. Dammit, I hate to agree with

0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:41.439
<v Speaker 1>you on the aperture. You're right.

0:13:41.760 --> 0:13:43.480
<v Speaker 5>You want me to go to number seven. Yeah, let's

0:13:43.520 --> 0:13:47.040
<v Speaker 5>keep it going on Number seven. There isn't much emotional

0:13:47.200 --> 0:13:50.160
<v Speaker 5>intimacy between the two of you, dude, Oh.

0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:52.160
<v Speaker 2>My god, that's hilarious. Not we we're good.

0:13:52.640 --> 0:13:54.560
<v Speaker 1>Our emotions make out all the time.

0:13:56.960 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 2>They couldn't get closer, goes, we.

0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:04.040
<v Speaker 1>Are more intimate emotionally than physically.

0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.640
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, that's so funny. Well, I did not

0:14:08.760 --> 0:14:12.679
<v Speaker 2>think it was gonna go this well for us. Shocked. Okay.

0:14:13.000 --> 0:14:16.599
<v Speaker 5>Number eight, there's a noticeable lack of respect between the

0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:17.040
<v Speaker 5>two of you.

0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:19.840
<v Speaker 2>No, no, I respect you immensely.

0:14:20.040 --> 0:14:22.760
<v Speaker 1>Goodness. No, no, no, I don't feel I wish I could

0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:25.120
<v Speaker 1>say something in that regard. Nope, I don't feel that.

0:14:25.360 --> 0:14:29.880
<v Speaker 2>I've talked about like disrespecting every Yep, Nope, we're good.

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:31.000
<v Speaker 2>Check wow.

0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:35.520
<v Speaker 5>Number nine one or both of you don't really want

0:14:35.560 --> 0:14:36.080
<v Speaker 5>to commit.

0:14:37.840 --> 0:14:40.000
<v Speaker 2>I don't think that's true either. We both said that

0:14:40.000 --> 0:14:42.080
<v Speaker 2>we're committed to each other from the beginning. Actually we

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.280
<v Speaker 2>kind of set that up right away.

0:14:45.280 --> 0:14:49.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm trying to again early signs that your relationship

0:14:49.680 --> 0:14:52.440
<v Speaker 1>is in trouble. Yeah, right, there's a list, and one

0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.600
<v Speaker 1>of the early signs is that say the thing again.

0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:59.480
<v Speaker 5>And one or both of you don't really want to commit.

0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:01.520
<v Speaker 2>I want to keep your options open. I mean, you

0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:03.840
<v Speaker 2>did suggest that maybe I get on a dating app.

0:15:04.160 --> 0:15:08.760
<v Speaker 1>I want to give you opportunity. I want to give

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.880
<v Speaker 1>you a chance to go out there and see if

0:15:10.920 --> 0:15:11.320
<v Speaker 1>you can do.

0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:23.320
<v Speaker 2>Better, because you're that confident. Oh my goodness. No, I mean,

0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.640
<v Speaker 2>but that is a big one, because I mean, there

0:15:25.640 --> 0:15:27.480
<v Speaker 2>are some things that are deal breakers. But yeah, if

0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:29.840
<v Speaker 2>someone wants to be exclusive and the other one doesn't,

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:32.360
<v Speaker 2>you've got a problem. That's pretty obvious. I think. No,

0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.240
<v Speaker 2>that's never been our issue. I think we're still deciding

0:15:35.240 --> 0:15:38.760
<v Speaker 2>about just what that level of commitment is. But like

0:15:38.800 --> 0:15:41.680
<v Speaker 2>whether it's legal or not, but that's still up for debate.

0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:48.200
<v Speaker 2>But mentally, emotionally, we've absolutely agreed to commit to each other.

0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:51.280
<v Speaker 1>Number nine, take us a minute before we get the

0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:53.720
<v Speaker 1>number ten because we need to unpack.

0:15:56.480 --> 0:15:59.400
<v Speaker 2>No, we haven't figured the marriage thing out yet.

0:15:59.400 --> 0:16:02.640
<v Speaker 1>But what was it? We haven't figured it out, figured

0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:05.320
<v Speaker 1>it out? Right, we haven't, you mean you, we haven't

0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:08.240
<v Speaker 1>decided whether we're going well legally, I mean we just

0:16:08.680 --> 0:16:10.280
<v Speaker 1>talked to a guy who was a straight shooter, so

0:16:10.320 --> 0:16:11.720
<v Speaker 1>let's be a straight shoot here we're talking about. We

0:16:11.720 --> 0:16:14.280
<v Speaker 1>haven't decided whether or not we are going to officially get.

0:16:14.120 --> 0:16:17.200
<v Speaker 2>Married, right, Okay, but we have. I have said this

0:16:17.240 --> 0:16:18.680
<v Speaker 2>to you, and I believe you've said it to me

0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:21.560
<v Speaker 2>as well, that I want to be with you for

0:16:21.600 --> 0:16:23.280
<v Speaker 2>the rest of my life, and I would I would

0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.840
<v Speaker 2>like to live with you, Okay when the time comes.

0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:29.360
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow or next year,

0:16:29.400 --> 0:16:31.760
<v Speaker 2>but I would eventually like to live with you. I

0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:39.600
<v Speaker 2>want a life partner. I want someone who is with me. Yeah,

0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:41.440
<v Speaker 2>I want to spend that I like, I like spending

0:16:41.480 --> 0:16:42.680
<v Speaker 2>the night with you and waking up with you.

0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.160
<v Speaker 1>What happens? Then you say a life partner?

0:16:46.760 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 2>What?

0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:49.680
<v Speaker 1>And I think a lot of people deal with that, like,

0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:55.520
<v Speaker 1>what is a life partner? Short of a legal binding agreement?

0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:56.880
<v Speaker 1>Can you have a life partner?

0:16:57.240 --> 0:16:59.800
<v Speaker 2>Without that you can and I and I and I've

0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:02.760
<v Speaker 2>actually always been in awe of the best example I

0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.160
<v Speaker 2>can think of, And this is someone I've always loved. Yes,

0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:08.840
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm gonna go golding On and Kurt Russell

0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:12.520
<v Speaker 2>because Overboard is my favorite movie, and their relationship, I'm sure,

0:17:12.560 --> 0:17:15.080
<v Speaker 2>and I know it's not perfect, but I've always been

0:17:15.080 --> 0:17:16.640
<v Speaker 2>in awe of the fact that every day they wake

0:17:16.720 --> 0:17:19.040
<v Speaker 2>up and they choose to be together. There's no legal

0:17:19.240 --> 0:17:22.520
<v Speaker 2>binding document that says they have to be together anyone,

0:17:23.359 --> 0:17:27.199
<v Speaker 2>Well there was. I was just joking, Oh no, but

0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:29.440
<v Speaker 2>I was actually because I've thought this, I'm like, then,

0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:32.560
<v Speaker 2>why do I default to wanting that? And I do,

0:17:32.960 --> 0:17:34.680
<v Speaker 2>in my heart of hearts want that, And I think

0:17:34.760 --> 0:17:38.440
<v Speaker 2>it is a level of security. And we know, based

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:41.040
<v Speaker 2>on our experiences that it might be false security, but

0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:44.040
<v Speaker 2>at least there's this. This is the way I think

0:17:44.080 --> 0:17:49.000
<v Speaker 2>my brain works. It's a lot harder to break up

0:17:49.240 --> 0:17:51.880
<v Speaker 2>when you're married, and so there, when you go through

0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.240
<v Speaker 2>the tough times or something really bad happens, or something

0:17:54.240 --> 0:17:57.760
<v Speaker 2>really hard happens, it's so much easier to walk away

0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.359
<v Speaker 2>if there's nothing that you have to settle lead and

0:18:00.520 --> 0:18:02.360
<v Speaker 2>just I know that's not the reason why I want

0:18:02.400 --> 0:18:05.520
<v Speaker 2>to stay with somebody. But there is this notion, there's

0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:08.520
<v Speaker 2>this sense of security that well, it's an extra hard thing,

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:12.320
<v Speaker 2>so maybe we'll both stick it out. Yeah that is.

0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:14.639
<v Speaker 1>Isn't that the exact opposite thing that you want to

0:18:14.680 --> 0:18:17.200
<v Speaker 1>happen only with you because it's harder to get away

0:18:17.200 --> 0:18:17.439
<v Speaker 1>from it?

0:18:17.480 --> 0:18:19.639
<v Speaker 2>Correct? I know I'm admitting.

0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:22.120
<v Speaker 1>Intellectually, you know that you're saying there is.

0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:25.960
<v Speaker 2>Something like, well, it's it's a security blanket, but it's

0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:28.159
<v Speaker 2>a false security blanket, and that's not the way I

0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.240
<v Speaker 2>want to have a relationship with you. But I still

0:18:30.280 --> 0:18:32.879
<v Speaker 2>default to that in my head. I'm just admitting it,

0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:35.640
<v Speaker 2>and I'm not saying it makes any sense, but I'm

0:18:35.640 --> 0:18:37.440
<v Speaker 2>just admitting that there's something about it where I feel

0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.480
<v Speaker 2>like if I can say that's my husband and I'm

0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:44.760
<v Speaker 2>his wife, it feels more official, and it feels it

0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.880
<v Speaker 2>feels more real, even though that's not necessarily the case,

0:18:47.920 --> 0:18:50.440
<v Speaker 2>because we've lived enough life to know that's not baby.

0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:51.840
<v Speaker 1>You can say it if you want to. You can

0:18:51.880 --> 0:18:52.840
<v Speaker 1>call me whateveryone.

0:18:54.200 --> 0:18:57.560
<v Speaker 2>I can call you my husband if you want to, by.

0:18:57.520 --> 0:18:59.920
<v Speaker 1>O me no. No, It's just interesting because we've had.

0:19:00.320 --> 0:19:01.959
<v Speaker 1>We're talking about it here and Andy has given us

0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:05.439
<v Speaker 1>this list, but we've talked about this privately, how we

0:19:05.600 --> 0:19:08.399
<v Speaker 1>understand it. It's almost I am more excited and I

0:19:08.440 --> 0:19:11.240
<v Speaker 1>feel it's a stronger commitment to not get married because

0:19:11.640 --> 0:19:14.359
<v Speaker 1>you can walk out tomorrow the next day. All you

0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:17.400
<v Speaker 1>got to do is grab your driver's license and walk out,

0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:18.480
<v Speaker 1>and you're kind of good.

0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:19.760
<v Speaker 2>No, it's true.

0:19:20.119 --> 0:19:24.880
<v Speaker 1>And so to hear that's still a binding legal document

0:19:24.960 --> 0:19:26.960
<v Speaker 1>feels like more of a secure.

0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:28.280
<v Speaker 2>That's wild it does?

0:19:28.400 --> 0:19:28.680
<v Speaker 1>I mean?

0:19:28.760 --> 0:19:31.640
<v Speaker 2>And again, I still like the idea of what I said,

0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:34.440
<v Speaker 2>what you said, how Goldie Hawn and ker Russell have lived.

0:19:34.480 --> 0:19:39.000
<v Speaker 2>But I'm admitting that there is something about that marriage

0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:42.199
<v Speaker 2>document that makes you feel more secure.

0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.120
<v Speaker 1>Does that make it? Doesn't? We have one another woman

0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:46.359
<v Speaker 1>in the room, she's a much younger woman still, but

0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:49.239
<v Speaker 1>does that make sense? I guess maybe I should as

0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:51.960
<v Speaker 1>Andy as well, But still does that what does that?

0:19:52.000 --> 0:19:54.840
<v Speaker 1>I'm just getting another woman's opinion on hearing what you

0:19:54.920 --> 0:19:55.680
<v Speaker 1>just heard from Ropes.

0:19:56.040 --> 0:19:59.720
<v Speaker 6>That makes sense to me. I would feel more comfortable

0:19:59.760 --> 0:20:04.760
<v Speaker 6>with a bind that Wow, yeah, to be in a

0:20:04.880 --> 0:20:10.560
<v Speaker 6>relationship because but maybe that's also people being obsessed with

0:20:10.600 --> 0:20:13.359
<v Speaker 6>the fact of wanting more, like you have the relationship finally,

0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:15.000
<v Speaker 6>but you want more, and so you have to be

0:20:15.040 --> 0:20:18.040
<v Speaker 6>like legally binded to someone and they can't be taken away.

0:20:18.880 --> 0:20:23.879
<v Speaker 1>We were just watching what show was it where we

0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:26.080
<v Speaker 1>actually talked about this, where you talk about this all

0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.000
<v Speaker 1>the time, but people are so much in love with

0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:31.640
<v Speaker 1>the idea of having a husband or having a wife

0:20:31.720 --> 0:20:34.439
<v Speaker 1>or having a marriage that you're in love with the

0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.040
<v Speaker 1>idea of the wedding and all of these things, and

0:20:37.040 --> 0:20:40.040
<v Speaker 1>no focus is put on the actual relationship.

0:20:39.520 --> 0:20:42.040
<v Speaker 2>Early on, right, and what it's going to be like

0:20:42.520 --> 0:20:45.919
<v Speaker 2>actually being married. We're all focused on having a wedding

0:20:46.440 --> 0:20:49.800
<v Speaker 2>and then so many stories, so many movies end there.

0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:51.840
<v Speaker 2>That's why I think as much as I love rom coms,

0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:55.359
<v Speaker 2>I think they ruin real life for so many people

0:20:55.400 --> 0:20:58.440
<v Speaker 2>because it ends at the wedding. That's the goal, that's

0:20:58.480 --> 0:21:02.320
<v Speaker 2>the end goal. But actually that's when your marriage begins,

0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:05.840
<v Speaker 2>and anyone who's lived enough life knows that less focus

0:21:05.960 --> 0:21:07.800
<v Speaker 2>is put on that, and that's actually what we should

0:21:07.840 --> 0:21:11.199
<v Speaker 2>be talking more about what that entails. So I'm actually

0:21:11.240 --> 0:21:13.320
<v Speaker 2>just I think our level of commitment to get back

0:21:13.359 --> 0:21:17.199
<v Speaker 2>to what Andy initially asked is the same it is

0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:19.320
<v Speaker 2>the same. Although do you want to live with me?

0:21:20.320 --> 0:21:21.639
<v Speaker 2>I don't know that you. I don't know that I

0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:24.600
<v Speaker 2>know the answer to that, And it's okay if you don't, well.

0:21:24.400 --> 0:21:25.520
<v Speaker 1>I mean, do you want to do this in front

0:21:25.520 --> 0:21:26.320
<v Speaker 1>of everybody right now?

0:21:26.760 --> 0:21:27.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know why not?

0:21:27.760 --> 0:21:28.639
<v Speaker 1>Okay, let's do this.

0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:34.320
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I actually did not know what you were going

0:21:34.359 --> 0:21:35.760
<v Speaker 2>to say, and I was prepared for either.

0:21:36.160 --> 0:21:45.359
<v Speaker 1>It's yes, I don't like being a part you know what,

0:21:45.440 --> 0:21:49.440
<v Speaker 1>It's gotten a lot. Bet. What I hated was I

0:21:49.520 --> 0:21:53.359
<v Speaker 1>was respecting so for so long that your home was

0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:57.200
<v Speaker 1>Analysa's home and I know you welcome me into that

0:21:57.280 --> 0:22:01.719
<v Speaker 1>home and that's my home all the time. But I

0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:04.199
<v Speaker 1>always was trying to just be respectful that you have

0:22:04.240 --> 0:22:06.240
<v Speaker 1>a seventeen year old daughter that might not want to

0:22:06.280 --> 0:22:08.480
<v Speaker 1>see me sitting on the couch watching a basketball game.

0:22:08.680 --> 0:22:11.679
<v Speaker 1>She comes in from school or comes in from her

0:22:11.760 --> 0:22:14.560
<v Speaker 1>night out whatever. Maybe so that is I think we've

0:22:14.840 --> 0:22:16.600
<v Speaker 1>obviously we've gotten pasted.

0:22:16.520 --> 0:22:19.360
<v Speaker 2>Right, But I appreciated it, and I knew that is.

0:22:20.119 --> 0:22:22.600
<v Speaker 2>I knew that's where your head was and your heart

0:22:22.760 --> 0:22:35.520
<v Speaker 2>was so But yeah, of course, oh Emma has a question.

0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:39.360
<v Speaker 6>Yes, do you think that your dynamic would change if

0:22:39.400 --> 0:22:41.920
<v Speaker 6>you live together, There's.

0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:44.560
<v Speaker 2>A hell no for me, No, not at all, because

0:22:44.920 --> 0:22:47.960
<v Speaker 2>we're together twenty four to seven. I mean, think about

0:22:48.000 --> 0:22:51.880
<v Speaker 2>most couples go to work and they're apart from each

0:22:51.880 --> 0:22:55.080
<v Speaker 2>other for at least eight hours a day, maybe more

0:22:55.160 --> 0:22:57.760
<v Speaker 2>if you put commutes into it. So then you just

0:22:57.880 --> 0:22:59.560
<v Speaker 2>kind of come together at the end of the night.

0:23:01.119 --> 0:23:06.280
<v Speaker 2>We work together, and we prep for work together, and

0:23:06.200 --> 0:23:08.919
<v Speaker 2>and so we're never and we've been like this for

0:23:08.960 --> 0:23:11.840
<v Speaker 2>a very long time, even when we were working like

0:23:11.880 --> 0:23:13.719
<v Speaker 2>we were working together. So I just think we're so

0:23:13.880 --> 0:23:15.960
<v Speaker 2>used to constantly being around each other that would not

0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:21.080
<v Speaker 2>change anything all. Noah, it would just make the closet

0:23:21.119 --> 0:23:23.080
<v Speaker 2>situation easier. We're like, oh my god, do I have

0:23:23.119 --> 0:23:26.040
<v Speaker 2>jeans at your place? It actually would simplify a lot

0:23:26.119 --> 0:23:28.119
<v Speaker 2>of our life. I think it would make it easier

0:23:29.040 --> 0:23:30.400
<v Speaker 2>from a logistics standpoint.

0:23:31.320 --> 0:23:32.000
<v Speaker 1>I also have a.

0:23:32.040 --> 0:23:38.240
<v Speaker 5>Question, Ups, this is great you asking for a friend. Okay,

0:23:39.320 --> 0:23:43.440
<v Speaker 5>so you mentioned just marriage and just making it easier.

0:23:43.440 --> 0:23:46.480
<v Speaker 5>I feel like I keep hearing the word easier. If

0:23:46.720 --> 0:23:48.920
<v Speaker 5>that were in the cards, do you think it would

0:23:48.960 --> 0:23:51.840
<v Speaker 5>just be like a courthouse thing private or would you

0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:54.280
<v Speaker 5>want to have like an actual wedding wedding.

0:23:55.040 --> 0:23:57.680
<v Speaker 1>All right, that's I'm curious that we should do it

0:23:57.720 --> 0:23:59.600
<v Speaker 1>like a one two three, And you answered, I am

0:23:59.600 --> 0:24:02.280
<v Speaker 1>curious and know what you think here because I have

0:24:03.200 --> 0:24:03.840
<v Speaker 1>thoughts as well.

0:24:03.920 --> 0:24:10.639
<v Speaker 3>Okay, so courthouse or would do an actual wedding courthouse

0:24:10.680 --> 0:24:15.320
<v Speaker 3>for me? Yes, but I would like a party afterwards.

0:24:14.720 --> 0:24:17.879
<v Speaker 1>Okay, waitt same day or something we invite people to

0:24:18.280 --> 0:24:18.800
<v Speaker 1>down the road.

0:24:18.880 --> 0:24:21.480
<v Speaker 2>It could be the same day, one hundred percent. Want

0:24:21.560 --> 0:24:25.560
<v Speaker 2>I think for me, this, this relationship with you has

0:24:25.600 --> 0:24:28.520
<v Speaker 2>been so like obviously it was put into the public

0:24:28.520 --> 0:24:32.119
<v Speaker 2>eye and maybe it happened in front of everyone's watch,

0:24:32.680 --> 0:24:35.280
<v Speaker 2>but so much of what you and I are is

0:24:35.359 --> 0:24:39.040
<v Speaker 2>just so private. It's not for anyone else. It's not

0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:43.320
<v Speaker 2>a spectacle. But I would love to celebrate with my

0:24:43.480 --> 0:24:45.880
<v Speaker 2>family and my friends and our friends and the people

0:24:45.880 --> 0:24:48.240
<v Speaker 2>who have supported us. That I think I would love.

0:24:48.600 --> 0:24:51.159
<v Speaker 2>I kind of just want to do the vows just

0:24:51.280 --> 0:24:51.679
<v Speaker 2>you and me.

0:24:51.840 --> 0:24:56.360
<v Speaker 1>Oh, okay, you make a good argument, But there are

0:24:56.760 --> 0:25:00.080
<v Speaker 1>the there's a handful of people. I mean, it's a

0:25:00.160 --> 0:25:03.200
<v Speaker 1>very small group that would be very cool to throw

0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:05.160
<v Speaker 1>a party and for them to be in the room. Yes,

0:25:05.240 --> 0:25:08.160
<v Speaker 1>that would get it right. That's a very small group

0:25:08.200 --> 0:25:12.040
<v Speaker 1>of folks. I would, eh, I'm kind of I would

0:25:12.119 --> 0:25:12.600
<v Speaker 1>kind of like that.

0:25:12.640 --> 0:25:15.320
<v Speaker 2>Okay, cool, all right, next question.

0:25:15.400 --> 0:25:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, so I wait, so I am, I am, I

0:25:18.880 --> 0:25:20.960
<v Speaker 1>am voting, the guy is voting for the wedding, and

0:25:21.000 --> 0:25:21.800
<v Speaker 1>you want the courthouse.

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:25.200
<v Speaker 2>Well no, but I think the compromise is the courthouse

0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:28.879
<v Speaker 2>and then the party. The party, but you could have

0:25:28.920 --> 0:25:30.280
<v Speaker 2>some people at the courthouse.

0:25:31.720 --> 0:25:34.399
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, he's going to be at the courthouse.

0:25:34.520 --> 0:25:35.960
<v Speaker 2>Well, it doesn't have to be the courthouse. I'm just

0:25:35.960 --> 0:25:37.360
<v Speaker 2>saying I don't want a big wedding.

0:25:37.560 --> 0:25:39.440
<v Speaker 1>Don't they just line you up at the courthouse.

0:25:39.600 --> 0:25:43.320
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you could have someone from there come to

0:25:43.400 --> 0:25:45.280
<v Speaker 2>you and make it privately. You don't have to go

0:25:45.320 --> 0:25:48.240
<v Speaker 2>to the courthouse. You can actually hire someone to come.

0:25:48.359 --> 0:25:49.359
<v Speaker 1>Those are a private wedding.

0:25:49.400 --> 0:25:51.239
<v Speaker 2>Then, I mean, let's just bring Jeff Guardier in and

0:25:51.240 --> 0:25:52.800
<v Speaker 2>have him do it privately.

0:25:53.080 --> 0:25:54.840
<v Speaker 1>Obviously he's gonna do it.

0:25:54.800 --> 0:25:58.600
<v Speaker 2>Right, and then and then have the party. Okay, Yeah,

0:25:58.720 --> 0:25:59.920
<v Speaker 2>we just don't have to do the walk down the

0:26:00.040 --> 0:26:00.520
<v Speaker 2>aisle thing.

0:26:00.680 --> 0:26:02.600
<v Speaker 1>You don't want to do that. I don't have to walk,

0:26:02.640 --> 0:26:03.680
<v Speaker 1>you're the walker.

0:26:04.040 --> 0:26:04.880
<v Speaker 2>I don't have to walk.

0:26:04.920 --> 0:26:05.439
<v Speaker 1>You don't wan to walk.

0:26:05.520 --> 0:26:06.399
<v Speaker 2>I want a great dress.

0:26:06.520 --> 0:26:07.680
<v Speaker 1>You don't want to walk down the aisle.

0:26:08.760 --> 0:26:11.040
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I haven't given I don't know. I'm

0:26:11.040 --> 0:26:11.760
<v Speaker 2>being uh.

0:26:12.520 --> 0:26:19.080
<v Speaker 1>One another walk. Your dad is getting exhausted.

0:26:21.400 --> 0:26:24.640
<v Speaker 2>He's like, not again, take this.

0:26:24.600 --> 0:26:30.440
<v Speaker 1>Walk again, Jesus. Obviously we're close that we could joke

0:26:30.480 --> 0:26:31.680
<v Speaker 1>about something like this.

0:26:32.560 --> 0:26:36.000
<v Speaker 2>Obviously, all right, next question, moving on.

0:26:36.400 --> 0:26:38.400
<v Speaker 1>We're doing We're doing okay? Yes.

0:26:38.560 --> 0:26:42.400
<v Speaker 5>Number ten, Is you feel lonely even when you're together

0:26:42.520 --> 0:26:43.080
<v Speaker 5>with each other?

0:26:43.160 --> 0:26:46.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh god, no, dude, I feel.

0:26:46.640 --> 0:26:49.040
<v Speaker 4>Like there's fourteen more people in the room with her,

0:26:49.680 --> 0:26:52.440
<v Speaker 4>Like Jesus, people getting crowded.

0:26:52.680 --> 0:26:56.200
<v Speaker 2>It's crowded the road, my god, no, all my personality

0:26:56.240 --> 0:26:58.720
<v Speaker 2>is all coming in one place. No, it's no. I

0:26:58.800 --> 0:27:00.760
<v Speaker 2>have never felt lonely, thank you.

0:27:00.800 --> 0:27:04.679
<v Speaker 1>No. No. So what's eleven? So were now on this list.

0:27:04.440 --> 0:27:08.000
<v Speaker 5>And number eleven on Early signs A relationship isn't meant

0:27:08.040 --> 0:27:12.080
<v Speaker 5>to be? Is you often feel uncomfortable with your partner

0:27:12.160 --> 0:27:13.280
<v Speaker 5>at a gut level?

0:27:15.000 --> 0:27:18.000
<v Speaker 1>No, No, more so than anything. For a long time,

0:27:18.359 --> 0:27:21.200
<v Speaker 1>the gut was not drawing me away from her, but

0:27:21.359 --> 0:27:23.280
<v Speaker 1>drawing me to her. So no, no, oh no, no,

0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:26.240
<v Speaker 1>no a gut level. Nop, nop, nope, non't damn.

0:27:26.200 --> 0:27:28.880
<v Speaker 2>Right Wow, never felt more confident about us.

0:27:29.040 --> 0:27:31.560
<v Speaker 5>Well, how soon do you think into a relationship, can

0:27:31.600 --> 0:27:33.639
<v Speaker 5>you tell if it's going to last or not?

0:27:36.720 --> 0:27:40.359
<v Speaker 2>That's a good question. I think. I think you need

0:27:40.400 --> 0:27:44.040
<v Speaker 2>to have your first fight first, and I think once

0:27:44.080 --> 0:27:46.560
<v Speaker 2>you've had if you if you have not fought and

0:27:46.640 --> 0:27:52.840
<v Speaker 2>you don't fight, that's concerning because learning how to fight

0:27:53.440 --> 0:27:56.280
<v Speaker 2>and learning who your partner is through those fights is

0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:59.040
<v Speaker 2>a big part of sustainability, I think.

0:28:00.200 --> 0:28:04.840
<v Speaker 1>And I would argue that you can find out I

0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:09.760
<v Speaker 1>think very early that it's not going to work out

0:28:10.440 --> 0:28:12.879
<v Speaker 1>based on things they do. But it takes you a

0:28:12.920 --> 0:28:14.720
<v Speaker 1>little while to find out if it will work out.

0:28:14.840 --> 0:28:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Like you you might know first date, this ain't gonna

0:28:17.119 --> 0:28:20.000
<v Speaker 1>work out, right, You won't know until first day, second day,

0:28:20.040 --> 0:28:22.119
<v Speaker 1>third date if it will. You need you need a

0:28:22.160 --> 0:28:27.119
<v Speaker 1>little bit of a sample size before you know if

0:28:27.119 --> 0:28:29.359
<v Speaker 1>it's going to work out. I just you can't know

0:28:29.440 --> 0:28:32.000
<v Speaker 1>that early on. But man, first date, there's some stuff

0:28:32.280 --> 0:28:34.160
<v Speaker 1>folks can do that you know is a deal breaker.

0:28:34.520 --> 0:28:37.280
<v Speaker 2>I think absolutely, there's lust at first sight for sure

0:28:37.320 --> 0:28:40.080
<v Speaker 2>with a lot of people, but love but no. But

0:28:40.120 --> 0:28:42.400
<v Speaker 2>I think people confuse and I've been I've been in

0:28:42.440 --> 0:28:44.080
<v Speaker 2>this situation I'm not talking about you.

0:28:44.080 --> 0:28:47.760
<v Speaker 1>You stopped talking about your lust. You caught that.

0:28:47.840 --> 0:28:50.560
<v Speaker 2>Right, But there is a difference between the two, and

0:28:50.560 --> 0:28:52.080
<v Speaker 2>that's where I think it gets confusing.

0:28:52.320 --> 0:28:55.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, God, in this episode, we were friends at first sight,

0:28:56.560 --> 0:29:01.120
<v Speaker 1>friends of first site. Yeah, no, lust, you saved the

0:29:01.200 --> 0:29:03.920
<v Speaker 1>lusts for the others. You heard that right, I'm not

0:29:04.520 --> 0:29:07.000
<v Speaker 1>you heard it right? No, no, no, you heard what

0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:09.479
<v Speaker 1>she said. That could be lust at first That's happened

0:29:09.520 --> 0:29:10.160
<v Speaker 1>plenty in.

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:15.840
<v Speaker 2>Oh, don't look like you don't know what I'm talking

0:29:15.840 --> 0:29:16.360
<v Speaker 2>about with.

0:29:16.240 --> 0:29:22.560
<v Speaker 1>You, TJA. We were friends, Jesus.

0:29:22.000 --> 0:29:26.880
<v Speaker 2>I know that you do not doubt my attraction to you. Okay,

0:29:26.920 --> 0:29:30.600
<v Speaker 2>come on, okay, all right, next.

0:29:32.760 --> 0:29:33.720
<v Speaker 5>As have another question.

0:29:34.480 --> 0:29:36.160
<v Speaker 2>But no, wait, we made it's the whole list and

0:29:36.200 --> 0:29:36.680
<v Speaker 2>none of them.

0:29:36.840 --> 0:29:38.680
<v Speaker 1>I don't have any early signs that we have a problem.

0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:41.760
<v Speaker 5>Now have you ever noticed these things in a relationship?

0:29:41.880 --> 0:29:42.800
<v Speaker 5>And what did you do?

0:29:43.760 --> 0:29:45.800
<v Speaker 1>Oh? Yes, just in a quick way, go through, say

0:29:45.840 --> 0:29:46.480
<v Speaker 1>the first one again?

0:29:47.120 --> 0:29:50.760
<v Speaker 5>You're bored of talking to them? Yes, yep, only one

0:29:50.760 --> 0:29:53.240
<v Speaker 5>of you is putting in most of the efforts. Yeah,

0:29:53.280 --> 0:29:56.920
<v Speaker 5>there's minimal trust. Yes, values are on different pages.

0:29:57.040 --> 0:29:58.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh, yes, one hundred percent.

0:29:59.000 --> 0:30:02.280
<v Speaker 1>Yes, Okay, bring it down a little bit, bring it

0:30:02.280 --> 0:30:03.600
<v Speaker 1>down just a little.

0:30:03.360 --> 0:30:06.000
<v Speaker 5>Bit, so frequently bickering and fighting all the small things.

0:30:06.440 --> 0:30:07.280
<v Speaker 1>I'm never a bicker.

0:30:08.360 --> 0:30:10.800
<v Speaker 2>I have been a bicker. I'm not proud to admit time.

0:30:10.640 --> 0:30:12.080
<v Speaker 5>Around each other made you feel drained.

0:30:12.200 --> 0:30:12.440
<v Speaker 2>Yep.

0:30:12.720 --> 0:30:14.680
<v Speaker 5>No, emotional intimacy yep.

0:30:15.360 --> 0:30:17.560
<v Speaker 2>Respect yep. Oh that's a big one.

0:30:17.680 --> 0:30:18.920
<v Speaker 5>One or both didn't want to commit.

0:30:20.000 --> 0:30:23.600
<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think I had that. I never had that. No, No, No,

0:30:24.000 --> 0:30:24.560
<v Speaker 2>I never had that.

0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:31.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you hear this. Yeah, everybody wanted this, everybody was

0:30:32.280 --> 0:30:35.640
<v Speaker 1>commit lock it down.

0:30:35.840 --> 0:30:40.720
<v Speaker 2>The I was also saying that reciprocally that I never

0:30:40.760 --> 0:30:43.800
<v Speaker 2>felt that way, like I was all in, okay, stop.

0:30:43.920 --> 0:30:47.120
<v Speaker 5>And feeling lonely when you're together with Yes, yes, man,

0:30:47.480 --> 0:30:48.840
<v Speaker 5>that's comfortable at a gut level.

0:30:49.160 --> 0:30:50.520
<v Speaker 2>Yes, all of those I had.

0:30:51.920 --> 0:30:55.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and again and whatever relationship we're not I'm.

0:30:55.760 --> 0:30:58.600
<v Speaker 2>Not saying any one person. We've had lots of relationships

0:30:58.600 --> 0:31:01.120
<v Speaker 2>in our lives were Ye, we're at that place. But

0:31:01.680 --> 0:31:04.080
<v Speaker 2>that Actually I love that you asked that because I

0:31:04.120 --> 0:31:06.960
<v Speaker 2>hadn't considered that outside of us, and once I looked

0:31:06.960 --> 0:31:10.600
<v Speaker 2>at that in past relationships, it actually makes how I

0:31:10.640 --> 0:31:14.440
<v Speaker 2>feel now even more special. Wow, I think you just

0:31:14.560 --> 0:31:15.600
<v Speaker 2>made our day.

0:31:17.120 --> 0:31:19.040
<v Speaker 1>And thank you for that. Emma, thank you for that

0:31:19.080 --> 0:31:22.400
<v Speaker 1>as well. Folks, thank you for listening, and we'll go

0:31:22.560 --> 0:31:26.640
<v Speaker 1>back to lusting individually apparently here, and we will see

0:31:26.680 --> 0:31:30.480
<v Speaker 1>you from Possibly our next podcast might be recorded from

0:31:30.480 --> 0:31:33.720
<v Speaker 1>an island. Yes we don't know yet, debating, don't hold

0:31:33.760 --> 0:31:35.120
<v Speaker 1>us to that, but.

0:31:35.360 --> 0:31:37.680
<v Speaker 2>Perhaps it just depends how much vacation we want to

0:31:37.680 --> 0:31:40.480
<v Speaker 2>be experiencing and how much work we want to do

0:31:40.520 --> 0:31:42.240
<v Speaker 2>on vacation. We could turn it into.

0:31:42.120 --> 0:31:45.880
<v Speaker 1>A workation, all right, folks, thanks as always, appreciate y'all listening.

0:31:45.960 --> 0:31:46.640
<v Speaker 1>Let's see you soon.