1 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:06,480 Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. Welcome to a special, very very special 2 00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:10,480 Speaker 1: edition episode here of Amy and DJ Rope sitting next 3 00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: to me. Reunited and it feels so good. Who does 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:12,719 Speaker 1: that song? 5 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:15,440 Speaker 2: Oh? I don't know, but I love it. It's a 6 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:18,040 Speaker 2: united and it feels so good. 7 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,319 Speaker 1: Oh wow, I didn't. 8 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,160 Speaker 2: I feel like it's on the tip of my toe 9 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 2: and he's. 10 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: About to get it for us. 11 00:00:24,239 --> 00:00:26,720 Speaker 2: It's a it's a pair, it's a it's like something 12 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,880 Speaker 2: and something. What is it? 13 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: Amy and DJ? 14 00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:35,960 Speaker 2: No? No, no, oh oh Peaches and Herbs, Yes, yes, yes, 15 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 2: reunited and it feels so good. No, I'm not there's 16 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:43,159 Speaker 2: a reason why Peaches and Herbs sings it. 17 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: I was surprised when you A lot of people know 18 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 1: you took a trip to see your daughter in Berlin 19 00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 1: last weekend. You're going for what four nights, three nights. 20 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 2: Three nights for four days? 21 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it's four days. I and I expressed on 22 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:01,040 Speaker 1: a previous episode of the podcast that how I feel 23 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: when you travel, when we travel apart, I'm not comfortable 24 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,360 Speaker 1: with it, don't like it. I was surprised to hear 25 00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 1: from you that you said that got people's attention and 26 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: made headlines to some degree. Yeah. I was very surprised to. 27 00:01:10,560 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 2: Hear that, right because it would make sense. I mean, 28 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,800 Speaker 2: I think maybe a lot of men wouldn't want to 29 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 2: admit they don't like it. I think you might have 30 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 2: even said you hated when I traveled without you. 31 00:01:21,520 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: Why is that why you say most men like that? 32 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,600 Speaker 2: I feel like maybe there's an ego to it where 33 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:27,120 Speaker 2: you're just like, oh, I'm cool, I'm fine, I'm going 34 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 2: to do my thing. I'm hanging out with my boys, 35 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,720 Speaker 2: I'm doing my stuff. So for you to admit that 36 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:36,039 Speaker 2: you didn't like it, I think was maybe some people 37 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 2: would say brave. 38 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,000 Speaker 1: Written come on, let's not go that far now. 39 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:44,039 Speaker 2: Well, that's really I think ego is involved in so 40 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,959 Speaker 2: many relationships. It affects so many of our decisions, what 41 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 2: we say, maybe even what we aren't willing to say. 42 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,560 Speaker 2: More than anything, we don't want to admit any kind 43 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,760 Speaker 2: of vulnerability, So that maybe struck a chord. 44 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: It was you know what I didn't You and I 45 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 1: have been doing this for a while now with sometimes travel. 46 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: It's rare that we have to travel apart. But when 47 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: you travel, we I don't know, we have a difficult 48 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:12,239 Speaker 1: time in our relationship. There's a distance. It's it's odd, 49 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: it's it takes us out of a rhythm that we 50 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 1: have in being up under sundery together. But yeah, we 51 00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 1: don't talk as much as we used to in it 52 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: as we're accustomed doing. 53 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,880 Speaker 2: And it's when we're apart, right, it's not good. But 54 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,800 Speaker 2: this isn't anything new because when this is the truth, 55 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:30,800 Speaker 2: when we were just friends and it was endearing then 56 00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,200 Speaker 2: and maybe it's a little bit more difficult now, but 57 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 2: when we were just friends. Do you remember every time 58 00:02:35,639 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 2: I travel, and I am a big traveler. I love 59 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,120 Speaker 2: That's how I spend my money. I don't buy things. 60 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 2: I love experiences. So I've always been a big traveler. 61 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,079 Speaker 2: And when we were even just coworkers and friends, when 62 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,600 Speaker 2: I would come back, we would say there was an awkwardness. 63 00:02:50,639 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 2: You're loving to you take us a couple days. You 64 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:55,720 Speaker 2: would say, oh my god, we're being awkward now because 65 00:02:55,760 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 2: you've been gone, And somehow it shifted out dynamic even 66 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,560 Speaker 2: as friends. I remember you always, and we struggled a 67 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 2: little bit for the first couple of days, and we 68 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 2: got to a point where we could laugh at it, like, oh, 69 00:03:09,560 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 2: here's the awkward phase. And you would even like text 70 00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,519 Speaker 2: me like, oh did you land great? Can't wait for 71 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,959 Speaker 2: the next two days of awkwardness because it was all 72 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 2: But it was this strange thing because I think we 73 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 2: just get used to, like you said, our rhythm or 74 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 2: we're constantly together and we enjoy it and it doesn't 75 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,040 Speaker 2: feel I think more than most people, we just are 76 00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: always together. And so when that is changed, there is 77 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 2: a shift. And yeah, it takes them getting used to 78 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,880 Speaker 2: when I'm leaving or when you're leaving, and then when 79 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,840 Speaker 2: we're coming back together. It also takes some time to 80 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:43,800 Speaker 2: readjust what's today. 81 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,839 Speaker 1: So we are you've been back for I guess we're 82 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 1: recording this three days or so. We're still finding our rhythm. 83 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:52,440 Speaker 2: I feel like today we really hit it. 84 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:53,080 Speaker 1: We find. 85 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,640 Speaker 2: We're back and we're about to go on vacation together. 86 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:04,760 Speaker 2: So we're excited and yeah, but no, but always you know, 87 00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:08,520 Speaker 2: it's true from the very beginning when we were separated 88 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 2: for whatever reason, even as colleagues, it was weird when 89 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 2: we got back together, like hey, hey, yeah, no I 90 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,839 Speaker 2: didn't I didn't miss you either, cool, all right, Yeah, 91 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,280 Speaker 2: it was like this thing that. 92 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:23,039 Speaker 1: Was just me trying to mask my true feelings. No, 93 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,120 Speaker 1: it's always the case. This time, I'm so curious because 94 00:04:26,120 --> 00:04:29,720 Speaker 1: it did. It was Look, when you're all right to 95 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:33,600 Speaker 1: people who are out there in a relationship, the person 96 00:04:33,760 --> 00:04:37,320 Speaker 1: leaves on vacation, let's say, with their boys or with 97 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,599 Speaker 1: their girls, but it's kind of a that kind of 98 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 1: a trip for fun. Like what is the expectation for 99 00:04:44,760 --> 00:04:48,600 Speaker 1: communication when you know that other person is in the 100 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: middle of partying, sometimes in a different time zone. What 101 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:57,160 Speaker 1: should the expectation be of communication? 102 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's tough, Like how how finn should you be 103 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: looking at your phone when the people who you're with 104 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 2: are expecting you not to be looking at your phone, 105 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:07,719 Speaker 2: But you know, you still want to be connected to 106 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,480 Speaker 2: the person who you left behind. 107 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:11,839 Speaker 1: Okay, you want to be connected is one thing. The 108 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,760 Speaker 1: other thing is let me make sure I make that 109 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:18,120 Speaker 1: other person feel like I'm connected to them, which seems 110 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: like more of a danger zone. 111 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 2: Right Anyway, we're still working that part out. If anyone 112 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:25,240 Speaker 2: has any thoughts, we're open to them. 113 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: But yes, yes, what you you ghosted me on Sunday, 114 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 1: completely ghosted. 115 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 2: And I did apologize because we were racing from one 116 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 2: thing to another, and then you actually ended up reaching 117 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,920 Speaker 2: out to my two girlfriends to find out if everything 118 00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:41,640 Speaker 2: was okay. 119 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh no, I knew, Okay, 120 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:50,080 Speaker 1: that sounds crazy, but that was a six hour stretch 121 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:52,800 Speaker 1: that I didn't hear from you after reaching out to you. 122 00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:56,480 Speaker 1: Now there is a certain degree where I go, Okay, 123 00:05:56,839 --> 00:05:58,600 Speaker 1: I get it, she's with a girl, she's in the 124 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: middle of something. But when there is no response of it, 125 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: now I get concerned, right, And I know obviously the 126 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 1: friends well enough, Morgan and Nikki to where I can 127 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 1: reach out to them say. And all I said was, Hey, 128 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000 Speaker 1: everything okay, And I said, I'm sorry for you even 129 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:11,560 Speaker 1: have to ask. 130 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 2: I know, I know, I won't make excuses. It's just 131 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,040 Speaker 2: it is one of those things where as soon as 132 00:06:16,040 --> 00:06:18,479 Speaker 2: that happened, I felt awful because I that did happen 133 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 2: one time, and this wasn't on purpose, but the Dominican 134 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:23,680 Speaker 2: Republic you didn't have service, and I actually I thought 135 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,200 Speaker 2: you were dead. I had convinced myself that you either 136 00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:29,160 Speaker 2: the plane had crashed, you had gone off the road, 137 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 2: you had been like attacked by bandits. I was actually. 138 00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 1: Crying all legit possible. 139 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,640 Speaker 2: And it had been probably the same, like maybe four 140 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: or five hours same thing. So I do know what 141 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 2: that feels like, and it feels awful. So I apologize again. 142 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 1: No, I just what is the I do? Because what 143 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: is the expected? What should? What is the norm? And 144 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,160 Speaker 1: I was genuinely concerned. I didn't think you were doing 145 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: something clubbing? Who should wit? It was just a matter 146 00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: of ye is everything okay? 147 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 2: We were running around. My phone was in my person. 148 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:02,680 Speaker 2: You know what it is, the Apple Watch. I didn't 149 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:05,200 Speaker 2: bring the charger, and that is a godsend. I will say, 150 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 2: when you are going around, if you have an Apple 151 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 2: Watch on and you can hear the buzz when a message, 152 00:07:11,240 --> 00:07:13,040 Speaker 2: then you get alerted. If you don't have your phone 153 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:15,240 Speaker 2: with you because you're trying to be present, you can 154 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,600 Speaker 2: forget like time can just slip away. But if you've 155 00:07:17,600 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 2: got the Apple Watch on, at least you know, oh, 156 00:07:20,160 --> 00:07:21,440 Speaker 2: someone's trying to get a hold of me, and you 157 00:07:21,440 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 2: can make a decision. I should have brought the charger. 158 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: I love no, no, no, I love you. I don't think 159 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 1: you should need an Apple Watch or an Apple charger 160 00:07:28,240 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 1: to remember after six hours that you're still in a 161 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:30,920 Speaker 1: relationship with me. 162 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,440 Speaker 2: I didn't forget I was in a relationship with you. 163 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:37,800 Speaker 1: You didn't care that you were in a lationship. 164 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 2: I just didn't check my phone. 165 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: You didn't have to check it. You shouldn't pick up 166 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,360 Speaker 1: your phone to check to see if I message you 167 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:45,760 Speaker 1: after six hours? Shouldn't you pick up your phone and 168 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: wants to message the person that you want to be with. 169 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:51,800 Speaker 3: Yes, you are right, and if you. 170 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:54,480 Speaker 1: Don't, then that sends a message to. 171 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 2: The person that I was in Like that. 172 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 4: Maybe, Andy, there are signs that this thing isn't going 173 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 4: to work out. 174 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 2: Okay, Wow, I love your trend. 175 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's great. 176 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,239 Speaker 2: That's great. 177 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: Well, No, our producer Andy here just pointed something else 178 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: to us. It's a list say that I'm gonna mess 179 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,720 Speaker 1: it up. It's a list of what again? 180 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 5: This is the eleven signs a relationship isn't meant to be? 181 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: Okay, So sign number one is no contact after six hours? 182 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 5: Seeing that? 183 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, thank you? 184 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:31,360 Speaker 1: Okay. Eleven signs warning signs or just. 185 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,679 Speaker 5: Eleven early signs of relationship isn't meant to be? 186 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:35,959 Speaker 1: Is it meant to be? Okay? What's number one on 187 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:36,760 Speaker 1: the list? Andy? 188 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:37,080 Speaker 3: Uh? 189 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 5: Number one is you're somewhat bored of talking to them. 190 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,520 Speaker 2: Now we're going okay, we don't get more. 191 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: Damn it, I can't even try. 192 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 2: That wasn't even all I can't even Okay, Okay, we're good. 193 00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,360 Speaker 1: There, we're good. There to go. 194 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 5: Number two, Number two, Number two, Only one of you 195 00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:53,959 Speaker 5: is putting in most of the effort. 196 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,840 Speaker 2: Oh, come on, we moth put in effort. Stop. Okay, six, 197 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 2: I admit I did not which short of that that 198 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:03,920 Speaker 2: was a one off. 199 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,559 Speaker 1: No, I don't think that's it. We don't have it. 200 00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:07,280 Speaker 2: No, we don't have that. 201 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:09,920 Speaker 1: All right, all right, we two for two. We're okay, 202 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: we're okay, all right. 203 00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,079 Speaker 5: Can I ask what you both define as effort? 204 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,040 Speaker 1: Maybe effort? 205 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:17,800 Speaker 2: Oh, thinking of the other person first, what do they like? 206 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,400 Speaker 2: What would they want? Just kind of considering what I 207 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 2: think they would like versus what you want, And I. 208 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,319 Speaker 1: Would just say that's more detail. But I would just 209 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: say equal effort. There's never a time where I feel 210 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,440 Speaker 1: like I'm doing more than she is. There's never a 211 00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: time where she's doing so much and I say, oh, 212 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,480 Speaker 1: I need to pick it up a little bit. I 213 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,920 Speaker 1: don't ever think there's a drop off in effort with 214 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: either one of us. 215 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 2: I agree completely, That's what I'm saying. 216 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 5: Well, Number three is there's minimal trust between the two 217 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:43,560 Speaker 5: of you. 218 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:48,439 Speaker 2: I think, Oh, we totally trust each other. I have 219 00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:52,839 Speaker 2: to we have to do this, no way. Oh absolutely, 220 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:58,760 Speaker 2: that's the last thing I'm worried about. 221 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,480 Speaker 1: Even if I don't don't want to, I don't have 222 00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: a choice at this point. Were good, that's qualified. 223 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 2: Were three for three. We're three for three. High five. 224 00:10:09,320 --> 00:10:13,199 Speaker 5: Number four. Your values are on very different pages. 225 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,079 Speaker 2: No, No, they're very much on the same page. In fact, 226 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 2: I've said this a lot. I think something huge for me, 227 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:23,200 Speaker 2: having had all the life experiences I've had. If you 228 00:10:23,320 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 2: have the same mode of operation and you value the 229 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:30,080 Speaker 2: same sorts of things, that's something that is I regard 230 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 2: so highly, and I recognize how important that is just 231 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:37,160 Speaker 2: to because you know what, the daily operations of life 232 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 2: can just wear a relationship down. If you approach things differently, 233 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,560 Speaker 2: if you value the same things, it just makes things 234 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 2: a lot easier and fights a lot more rare. 235 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 1: I can't say it any better than that. Yeah, we do. 236 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 1: We are discovering more and more day and day out, like, wow, 237 00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,959 Speaker 1: we really do operate the same Yeah, so. 238 00:10:55,559 --> 00:11:07,480 Speaker 2: Wow, wow, four for four. Keep them coming, Andy. 239 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 5: Number five, You frequently bicker and fight about the small 240 00:11:11,640 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 5: things small. 241 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,000 Speaker 1: No, no, no, we may we're gonna find about the same things. 242 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:17,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, but and it's not frequently. I would say, it's 243 00:11:17,880 --> 00:11:19,400 Speaker 2: like once every six weeks. 244 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,240 Speaker 1: The same fight. Yes, and that drives me crazy. It's 245 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:22,600 Speaker 1: the same. 246 00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:25,080 Speaker 2: No, I know, it drives us both crazy. But we 247 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,840 Speaker 2: don't frequently bicker. We do. God, I would never describe 248 00:11:28,840 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 2: what we do as bicker. 249 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:33,760 Speaker 1: Oh no, we have big blowouts. If we're gonna do this, 250 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:34,959 Speaker 1: let's do it. 251 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,160 Speaker 2: Let's go bigger, go home. 252 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:41,199 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we don't have little no. 253 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,680 Speaker 2: No, no, no, you know that might be nice, but no, 254 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,640 Speaker 2: we don't pick at each other. We don't nag it 255 00:11:44,679 --> 00:11:47,280 Speaker 2: each other. And that's the thing. Actually, I do appreciate 256 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 2: that too, because I think that is something that I'm 257 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,280 Speaker 2: just grateful for and I recognize we do not nag 258 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 2: each other. 259 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:56,360 Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, no, we don't do that. That wou 260 00:11:56,679 --> 00:11:58,280 Speaker 1: over no quickly. 261 00:11:59,280 --> 00:11:59,600 Speaker 2: Okay. 262 00:11:59,880 --> 00:12:02,360 Speaker 5: In the early stages, that wasn't a thing because. 263 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:07,120 Speaker 2: No, even as friends, I think we used to. One 264 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,199 Speaker 2: of the things we loved about each other hanging out. 265 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 2: We just kept always saying to each other, it's so 266 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:13,319 Speaker 2: easy with you, like you just get me, like it 267 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,400 Speaker 2: was that was a huge sign that we just always 268 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:19,560 Speaker 2: wanted to hang out. So even as friends, that's awesome. 269 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:24,360 Speaker 5: Number Six, time around each other makes you feel drained. 270 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:30,520 Speaker 2: No, I'm drained when I'm not with him. I've said 271 00:12:30,559 --> 00:12:32,839 Speaker 2: this and you've admitted it that your moody. And I asked, 272 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 2: if I asked you, would you describe me as moody? 273 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,880 Speaker 2: And you said, no, you just have different levels. Yes, 274 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 2: of intensity. Yeah, you too, I'm kind of the same mood. 275 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:44,720 Speaker 2: But it's just if you're going to get a lot 276 00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 2: of me or just a little less of me. 277 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:51,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, if it's me, he's going to be sad, he's 278 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,440 Speaker 1: going to be happy, he's going to be angry, he's 279 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 1: going to be these things. Yeah, you are either at 280 00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:01,600 Speaker 1: a ten, a seven, or three of whatever the mood is. 281 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,080 Speaker 1: It's just you're just there all the time. 282 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,839 Speaker 2: So no, no, no, but we don't wear each other out. 283 00:13:07,080 --> 00:13:11,920 Speaker 1: Oh god, no, no, no, no, oh man, early sign, 284 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:12,840 Speaker 1: what is it the list again? 285 00:13:14,120 --> 00:13:17,040 Speaker 5: Smoking relationship isn't meant to be. I feel like it 286 00:13:17,080 --> 00:13:19,440 Speaker 5: makes sense though, because if you guys started as friends, 287 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 5: it's like you got to know each other as friends, 288 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:23,400 Speaker 5: so you would know as a friend whether or not 289 00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:24,440 Speaker 5: you liked and. 290 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,040 Speaker 2: We were always together. So if we had worn each 291 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,360 Speaker 2: other out initially, just like, oh my god, I'm mentally 292 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,480 Speaker 2: exhausted by this person or he's an energy what do 293 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:35,080 Speaker 2: they call them energy vampires? No, it's I feel like 294 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,079 Speaker 2: I got like energized. 295 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's true. Dammit, I hate to agree with 296 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,439 Speaker 1: you on the aperture. You're right. 297 00:13:41,760 --> 00:13:43,480 Speaker 5: You want me to go to number seven. Yeah, let's 298 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:47,040 Speaker 5: keep it going on Number seven. There isn't much emotional 299 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 5: intimacy between the two of you, dude, Oh. 300 00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,160 Speaker 2: My god, that's hilarious. Not we we're good. 301 00:13:52,640 --> 00:13:54,560 Speaker 1: Our emotions make out all the time. 302 00:13:56,960 --> 00:14:01,280 Speaker 2: They couldn't get closer, goes, we. 303 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,040 Speaker 1: Are more intimate emotionally than physically. 304 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's so funny. Well, I did not 305 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,679 Speaker 2: think it was gonna go this well for us. Shocked. Okay. 306 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,599 Speaker 5: Number eight, there's a noticeable lack of respect between the 307 00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 5: two of you. 308 00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 2: No, no, I respect you immensely. 309 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: Goodness. No, no, no, I don't feel I wish I could 310 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,120 Speaker 1: say something in that regard. Nope, I don't feel that. 311 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 2: I've talked about like disrespecting every Yep, Nope, we're good. 312 00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 2: Check wow. 313 00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 5: Number nine one or both of you don't really want 314 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:36,080 Speaker 5: to commit. 315 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 2: I don't think that's true either. We both said that 316 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 2: we're committed to each other from the beginning. Actually we 317 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:44,280 Speaker 2: kind of set that up right away. 318 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:49,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm trying to again early signs that your relationship 319 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 1: is in trouble. Yeah, right, there's a list, and one 320 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 1: of the early signs is that say the thing again. 321 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:59,480 Speaker 5: And one or both of you don't really want to commit. 322 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,520 Speaker 2: I want to keep your options open. I mean, you 323 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,840 Speaker 2: did suggest that maybe I get on a dating app. 324 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:08,760 Speaker 1: I want to give you opportunity. I want to give 325 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: you a chance to go out there and see if 326 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:11,320 Speaker 1: you can do. 327 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 2: Better, because you're that confident. Oh my goodness. No, I mean, 328 00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:25,640 Speaker 2: but that is a big one, because I mean, there 329 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 2: are some things that are deal breakers. But yeah, if 330 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 2: someone wants to be exclusive and the other one doesn't, 331 00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,360 Speaker 2: you've got a problem. That's pretty obvious. I think. No, 332 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,240 Speaker 2: that's never been our issue. I think we're still deciding 333 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:38,760 Speaker 2: about just what that level of commitment is. But like 334 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,680 Speaker 2: whether it's legal or not, but that's still up for debate. 335 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:48,200 Speaker 2: But mentally, emotionally, we've absolutely agreed to commit to each other. 336 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 1: Number nine, take us a minute before we get the 337 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,720 Speaker 1: number ten because we need to unpack. 338 00:15:56,480 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 2: No, we haven't figured the marriage thing out yet. 339 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,640 Speaker 1: But what was it? We haven't figured it out, figured 340 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:05,320 Speaker 1: it out? Right, we haven't, you mean you, we haven't 341 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,240 Speaker 1: decided whether we're going well legally, I mean we just 342 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,280 Speaker 1: talked to a guy who was a straight shooter, so 343 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 1: let's be a straight shoot here we're talking about. We 344 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 1: haven't decided whether or not we are going to officially get. 345 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:17,200 Speaker 2: Married, right, Okay, but we have. I have said this 346 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 2: to you, and I believe you've said it to me 347 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,560 Speaker 2: as well, that I want to be with you for 348 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 2: the rest of my life, and I would I would 349 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 2: like to live with you, Okay when the time comes. 350 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,360 Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be today or tomorrow or next year, 351 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,760 Speaker 2: but I would eventually like to live with you. I 352 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:39,600 Speaker 2: want a life partner. I want someone who is with me. Yeah, 353 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 2: I want to spend that I like, I like spending 354 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,680 Speaker 2: the night with you and waking up with you. 355 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,160 Speaker 1: What happens? Then you say a life partner? 356 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:46,840 Speaker 2: What? 357 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,680 Speaker 1: And I think a lot of people deal with that, like, 358 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:55,520 Speaker 1: what is a life partner? Short of a legal binding agreement? 359 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,880 Speaker 1: Can you have a life partner? 360 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,800 Speaker 2: Without that you can and I and I and I've 361 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,760 Speaker 2: actually always been in awe of the best example I 362 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,160 Speaker 2: can think of, And this is someone I've always loved. Yes, 363 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 2: you know, I'm gonna go golding On and Kurt Russell 364 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:12,520 Speaker 2: because Overboard is my favorite movie, and their relationship, I'm sure, 365 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,080 Speaker 2: and I know it's not perfect, but I've always been 366 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:16,640 Speaker 2: in awe of the fact that every day they wake 367 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,040 Speaker 2: up and they choose to be together. There's no legal 368 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,520 Speaker 2: binding document that says they have to be together anyone, 369 00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:27,199 Speaker 2: Well there was. I was just joking, Oh no, but 370 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,440 Speaker 2: I was actually because I've thought this, I'm like, then, 371 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:32,560 Speaker 2: why do I default to wanting that? And I do, 372 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 2: in my heart of hearts want that, And I think 373 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,440 Speaker 2: it is a level of security. And we know, based 374 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 2: on our experiences that it might be false security, but 375 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 2: at least there's this. This is the way I think 376 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:49,000 Speaker 2: my brain works. It's a lot harder to break up 377 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,880 Speaker 2: when you're married, and so there, when you go through 378 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,240 Speaker 2: the tough times or something really bad happens, or something 379 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 2: really hard happens, it's so much easier to walk away 380 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:00,359 Speaker 2: if there's nothing that you have to settle lead and 381 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,360 Speaker 2: just I know that's not the reason why I want 382 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 2: to stay with somebody. But there is this notion, there's 383 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 2: this sense of security that well, it's an extra hard thing, 384 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,320 Speaker 2: so maybe we'll both stick it out. Yeah that is. 385 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,639 Speaker 1: Isn't that the exact opposite thing that you want to 386 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:17,200 Speaker 1: happen only with you because it's harder to get away 387 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:17,439 Speaker 1: from it? 388 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:19,639 Speaker 2: Correct? I know I'm admitting. 389 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,120 Speaker 1: Intellectually, you know that you're saying there is. 390 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,960 Speaker 2: Something like, well, it's it's a security blanket, but it's 391 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:28,159 Speaker 2: a false security blanket, and that's not the way I 392 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,240 Speaker 2: want to have a relationship with you. But I still 393 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,879 Speaker 2: default to that in my head. I'm just admitting it, 394 00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,640 Speaker 2: and I'm not saying it makes any sense, but I'm 395 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,440 Speaker 2: just admitting that there's something about it where I feel 396 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:40,480 Speaker 2: like if I can say that's my husband and I'm 397 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 2: his wife, it feels more official, and it feels it 398 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,880 Speaker 2: feels more real, even though that's not necessarily the case, 399 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:50,440 Speaker 2: because we've lived enough life to know that's not baby. 400 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:51,840 Speaker 1: You can say it if you want to. You can 401 00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:52,840 Speaker 1: call me whateveryone. 402 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,560 Speaker 2: I can call you my husband if you want to, by. 403 00:18:57,520 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 1: O me no. No, It's just interesting because we've had. 404 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:01,959 Speaker 1: We're talking about it here and Andy has given us 405 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:05,439 Speaker 1: this list, but we've talked about this privately, how we 406 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:08,399 Speaker 1: understand it. It's almost I am more excited and I 407 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 1: feel it's a stronger commitment to not get married because 408 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,359 Speaker 1: you can walk out tomorrow the next day. All you 409 00:19:14,359 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 1: got to do is grab your driver's license and walk out, 410 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:18,480 Speaker 1: and you're kind of good. 411 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 2: No, it's true. 412 00:19:20,119 --> 00:19:24,880 Speaker 1: And so to hear that's still a binding legal document 413 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,960 Speaker 1: feels like more of a secure. 414 00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 2: That's wild it does? 415 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 1: I mean? 416 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,640 Speaker 2: And again, I still like the idea of what I said, 417 00:19:31,680 --> 00:19:34,440 Speaker 2: what you said, how Goldie Hawn and ker Russell have lived. 418 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:39,000 Speaker 2: But I'm admitting that there is something about that marriage 419 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,199 Speaker 2: document that makes you feel more secure. 420 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 1: Does that make it? Doesn't? We have one another woman 421 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:46,359 Speaker 1: in the room, she's a much younger woman still, but 422 00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,239 Speaker 1: does that make sense? I guess maybe I should as 423 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,960 Speaker 1: Andy as well, But still does that what does that? 424 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,840 Speaker 1: I'm just getting another woman's opinion on hearing what you 425 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: just heard from Ropes. 426 00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,720 Speaker 6: That makes sense to me. I would feel more comfortable 427 00:19:59,760 --> 00:20:04,760 Speaker 6: with a bind that Wow, yeah, to be in a 428 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 6: relationship because but maybe that's also people being obsessed with 429 00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 6: the fact of wanting more, like you have the relationship finally, 430 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:15,000 Speaker 6: but you want more, and so you have to be 431 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:18,040 Speaker 6: like legally binded to someone and they can't be taken away. 432 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,879 Speaker 1: We were just watching what show was it where we 433 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,080 Speaker 1: actually talked about this, where you talk about this all 434 00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:28,000 Speaker 1: the time, but people are so much in love with 435 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,640 Speaker 1: the idea of having a husband or having a wife 436 00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:34,439 Speaker 1: or having a marriage that you're in love with the 437 00:20:34,480 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 1: idea of the wedding and all of these things, and 438 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,040 Speaker 1: no focus is put on the actual relationship. 439 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,040 Speaker 2: Early on, right, and what it's going to be like 440 00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:45,919 Speaker 2: actually being married. We're all focused on having a wedding 441 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,800 Speaker 2: and then so many stories, so many movies end there. 442 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 2: That's why I think as much as I love rom coms, 443 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 2: I think they ruin real life for so many people 444 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:58,440 Speaker 2: because it ends at the wedding. That's the goal, that's 445 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 2: the end goal. But actually that's when your marriage begins, 446 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 2: and anyone who's lived enough life knows that less focus 447 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 2: is put on that, and that's actually what we should 448 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:11,199 Speaker 2: be talking more about what that entails. So I'm actually 449 00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 2: just I think our level of commitment to get back 450 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:17,199 Speaker 2: to what Andy initially asked is the same it is 451 00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,320 Speaker 2: the same. Although do you want to live with me? 452 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:21,639 Speaker 2: I don't know that you. I don't know that I 453 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,600 Speaker 2: know the answer to that, And it's okay if you don't, well. 454 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,520 Speaker 1: I mean, do you want to do this in front 455 00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: of everybody right now? 456 00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:27,520 Speaker 2: I don't know why not? 457 00:21:27,760 --> 00:21:28,639 Speaker 1: Okay, let's do this. 458 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 2: Yes, I actually did not know what you were going 459 00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:35,760 Speaker 2: to say, and I was prepared for either. 460 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:45,359 Speaker 1: It's yes, I don't like being a part you know what, 461 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:49,440 Speaker 1: It's gotten a lot. Bet. What I hated was I 462 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:53,359 Speaker 1: was respecting so for so long that your home was 463 00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:57,200 Speaker 1: Analysa's home and I know you welcome me into that 464 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:01,719 Speaker 1: home and that's my home all the time. But I 465 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,199 Speaker 1: always was trying to just be respectful that you have 466 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,240 Speaker 1: a seventeen year old daughter that might not want to 467 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,480 Speaker 1: see me sitting on the couch watching a basketball game. 468 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:11,679 Speaker 1: She comes in from school or comes in from her 469 00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:14,560 Speaker 1: night out whatever. Maybe so that is I think we've 470 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 1: obviously we've gotten pasted. 471 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,360 Speaker 2: Right, But I appreciated it, and I knew that is. 472 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,600 Speaker 2: I knew that's where your head was and your heart 473 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 2: was so But yeah, of course, oh Emma has a question. 474 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 6: Yes, do you think that your dynamic would change if 475 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,920 Speaker 6: you live together, There's. 476 00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:44,560 Speaker 2: A hell no for me, No, not at all, because 477 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 2: we're together twenty four to seven. I mean, think about 478 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:51,880 Speaker 2: most couples go to work and they're apart from each 479 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 2: other for at least eight hours a day, maybe more 480 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 2: if you put commutes into it. So then you just 481 00:22:57,880 --> 00:22:59,560 Speaker 2: kind of come together at the end of the night. 482 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:06,280 Speaker 2: We work together, and we prep for work together, and 483 00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,919 Speaker 2: and so we're never and we've been like this for 484 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:11,840 Speaker 2: a very long time, even when we were working like 485 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,719 Speaker 2: we were working together. So I just think we're so 486 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 2: used to constantly being around each other that would not 487 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:21,080 Speaker 2: change anything all. Noah, it would just make the closet 488 00:23:21,119 --> 00:23:23,080 Speaker 2: situation easier. We're like, oh my god, do I have 489 00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:26,040 Speaker 2: jeans at your place? It actually would simplify a lot 490 00:23:26,119 --> 00:23:28,119 Speaker 2: of our life. I think it would make it easier 491 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,400 Speaker 2: from a logistics standpoint. 492 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,000 Speaker 1: I also have a. 493 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:38,240 Speaker 5: Question, Ups, this is great you asking for a friend. Okay, 494 00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:43,440 Speaker 5: so you mentioned just marriage and just making it easier. 495 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:46,480 Speaker 5: I feel like I keep hearing the word easier. If 496 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,920 Speaker 5: that were in the cards, do you think it would 497 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 5: just be like a courthouse thing private or would you 498 00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,280 Speaker 5: want to have like an actual wedding wedding. 499 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,680 Speaker 1: All right, that's I'm curious that we should do it 500 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,600 Speaker 1: like a one two three, And you answered, I am 501 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 1: curious and know what you think here because I have 502 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:03,840 Speaker 1: thoughts as well. 503 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:10,639 Speaker 3: Okay, so courthouse or would do an actual wedding courthouse 504 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:15,320 Speaker 3: for me? Yes, but I would like a party afterwards. 505 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:17,879 Speaker 1: Okay, waitt same day or something we invite people to 506 00:24:18,280 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 1: down the road. 507 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,480 Speaker 2: It could be the same day, one hundred percent. Want 508 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,560 Speaker 2: I think for me, this, this relationship with you has 509 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,520 Speaker 2: been so like obviously it was put into the public 510 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:32,119 Speaker 2: eye and maybe it happened in front of everyone's watch, 511 00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 2: but so much of what you and I are is 512 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:39,040 Speaker 2: just so private. It's not for anyone else. It's not 513 00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,320 Speaker 2: a spectacle. But I would love to celebrate with my 514 00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 2: family and my friends and our friends and the people 515 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,240 Speaker 2: who have supported us. That I think I would love. 516 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,159 Speaker 2: I kind of just want to do the vows just 517 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:51,679 Speaker 2: you and me. 518 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:56,360 Speaker 1: Oh, okay, you make a good argument, But there are 519 00:24:56,760 --> 00:25:00,080 Speaker 1: the there's a handful of people. I mean, it's a 520 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,200 Speaker 1: very small group that would be very cool to throw 521 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 1: a party and for them to be in the room. Yes, 522 00:25:05,240 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 1: that would get it right. That's a very small group 523 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:12,040 Speaker 1: of folks. I would, eh, I'm kind of I would 524 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:12,600 Speaker 1: kind of like that. 525 00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,320 Speaker 2: Okay, cool, all right, next question. 526 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,840 Speaker 1: Well, so I wait, so I am, I am, I 527 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:20,960 Speaker 1: am voting, the guy is voting for the wedding, and 528 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 1: you want the courthouse. 529 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,200 Speaker 2: Well no, but I think the compromise is the courthouse 530 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:28,879 Speaker 2: and then the party. The party, but you could have 531 00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:30,280 Speaker 2: some people at the courthouse. 532 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:34,399 Speaker 1: Oh no, he's going to be at the courthouse. 533 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 2: Well, it doesn't have to be the courthouse. I'm just 534 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,360 Speaker 2: saying I don't want a big wedding. 535 00:25:37,560 --> 00:25:39,440 Speaker 1: Don't they just line you up at the courthouse. 536 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 2: I mean, you could have someone from there come to 537 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:45,280 Speaker 2: you and make it privately. You don't have to go 538 00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,240 Speaker 2: to the courthouse. You can actually hire someone to come. 539 00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 1: Those are a private wedding. 540 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,239 Speaker 2: Then, I mean, let's just bring Jeff Guardier in and 541 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:52,800 Speaker 2: have him do it privately. 542 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:54,840 Speaker 1: Obviously he's gonna do it. 543 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 2: Right, and then and then have the party. Okay, Yeah, 544 00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,920 Speaker 2: we just don't have to do the walk down the 545 00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:00,520 Speaker 2: aisle thing. 546 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 1: You don't want to do that. I don't have to walk, 547 00:26:02,640 --> 00:26:03,680 Speaker 1: you're the walker. 548 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:04,880 Speaker 2: I don't have to walk. 549 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:05,439 Speaker 1: You don't wan to walk. 550 00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 2: I want a great dress. 551 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 1: You don't want to walk down the aisle. 552 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:11,040 Speaker 2: I don't know. I haven't given I don't know. I'm 553 00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:11,760 Speaker 2: being uh. 554 00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:19,080 Speaker 1: One another walk. Your dad is getting exhausted. 555 00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,640 Speaker 2: He's like, not again, take this. 556 00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:30,440 Speaker 1: Walk again, Jesus. Obviously we're close that we could joke 557 00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,680 Speaker 1: about something like this. 558 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 2: Obviously, all right, next question, moving on. 559 00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,400 Speaker 1: We're doing We're doing okay? Yes. 560 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:42,400 Speaker 5: Number ten, Is you feel lonely even when you're together 561 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 5: with each other? 562 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:46,840 Speaker 2: Oh god, no, dude, I feel. 563 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,040 Speaker 4: Like there's fourteen more people in the room with her, 564 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,440 Speaker 4: Like Jesus, people getting crowded. 565 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,200 Speaker 2: It's crowded the road, my god, no, all my personality 566 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,720 Speaker 2: is all coming in one place. No, it's no. I 567 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,760 Speaker 2: have never felt lonely, thank you. 568 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,679 Speaker 1: No. No. So what's eleven? So were now on this list. 569 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:08,000 Speaker 5: And number eleven on Early signs A relationship isn't meant 570 00:27:08,040 --> 00:27:12,080 Speaker 5: to be? Is you often feel uncomfortable with your partner 571 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 5: at a gut level? 572 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:18,000 Speaker 1: No, No, more so than anything. For a long time, 573 00:27:18,359 --> 00:27:21,200 Speaker 1: the gut was not drawing me away from her, but 574 00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,280 Speaker 1: drawing me to her. So no, no, oh no, no, 575 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,240 Speaker 1: no a gut level. Nop, nop, nope, non't damn. 576 00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:28,880 Speaker 2: Right Wow, never felt more confident about us. 577 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,560 Speaker 5: Well, how soon do you think into a relationship, can 578 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,639 Speaker 5: you tell if it's going to last or not? 579 00:27:36,720 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 2: That's a good question. I think. I think you need 580 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 2: to have your first fight first, and I think once 581 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 2: you've had if you if you have not fought and 582 00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:52,840 Speaker 2: you don't fight, that's concerning because learning how to fight 583 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,280 Speaker 2: and learning who your partner is through those fights is 584 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 2: a big part of sustainability, I think. 585 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,840 Speaker 1: And I would argue that you can find out I 586 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:09,760 Speaker 1: think very early that it's not going to work out 587 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 1: based on things they do. But it takes you a 588 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,720 Speaker 1: little while to find out if it will work out. 589 00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: Like you you might know first date, this ain't gonna 590 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:20,000 Speaker 1: work out, right, You won't know until first day, second day, 591 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: third date if it will. You need you need a 592 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:27,119 Speaker 1: little bit of a sample size before you know if 593 00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 1: it's going to work out. I just you can't know 594 00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,000 Speaker 1: that early on. But man, first date, there's some stuff 595 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,160 Speaker 1: folks can do that you know is a deal breaker. 596 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,280 Speaker 2: I think absolutely, there's lust at first sight for sure 597 00:28:37,320 --> 00:28:40,080 Speaker 2: with a lot of people, but love but no. But 598 00:28:40,120 --> 00:28:42,400 Speaker 2: I think people confuse and I've been I've been in 599 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:44,080 Speaker 2: this situation I'm not talking about you. 600 00:28:44,080 --> 00:28:47,760 Speaker 1: You stopped talking about your lust. You caught that. 601 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,560 Speaker 2: Right, But there is a difference between the two, and 602 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,080 Speaker 2: that's where I think it gets confusing. 603 00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 1: Okay, God, in this episode, we were friends at first sight, 604 00:28:56,560 --> 00:29:01,120 Speaker 1: friends of first site. Yeah, no, lust, you saved the 605 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,920 Speaker 1: lusts for the others. You heard that right, I'm not 606 00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,000 Speaker 1: you heard it right? No, no, no, you heard what 607 00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,479 Speaker 1: she said. That could be lust at first That's happened 608 00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:10,160 Speaker 1: plenty in. 609 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:15,840 Speaker 2: Oh, don't look like you don't know what I'm talking 610 00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 2: about with. 611 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:22,560 Speaker 1: You, TJA. We were friends, Jesus. 612 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,880 Speaker 2: I know that you do not doubt my attraction to you. Okay, 613 00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,600 Speaker 2: come on, okay, all right, next. 614 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 5: As have another question. 615 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 2: But no, wait, we made it's the whole list and 616 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:36,680 Speaker 2: none of them. 617 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: I don't have any early signs that we have a problem. 618 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,760 Speaker 5: Now have you ever noticed these things in a relationship? 619 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 5: And what did you do? 620 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,800 Speaker 1: Oh? Yes, just in a quick way, go through, say 621 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:46,480 Speaker 1: the first one again? 622 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:50,760 Speaker 5: You're bored of talking to them? Yes, yep, only one 623 00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 5: of you is putting in most of the efforts. Yeah, 624 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,920 Speaker 5: there's minimal trust. Yes, values are on different pages. 625 00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,920 Speaker 2: Oh, yes, one hundred percent. 626 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 1: Yes, Okay, bring it down a little bit, bring it 627 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:03,600 Speaker 1: down just a little. 628 00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 5: Bit, so frequently bickering and fighting all the small things. 629 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: I'm never a bicker. 630 00:30:08,360 --> 00:30:10,800 Speaker 2: I have been a bicker. I'm not proud to admit time. 631 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,080 Speaker 5: Around each other made you feel drained. 632 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 2: Yep. 633 00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 5: No, emotional intimacy yep. 634 00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 2: Respect yep. Oh that's a big one. 635 00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:18,920 Speaker 5: One or both didn't want to commit. 636 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,600 Speaker 2: No, I don't think I had that. I never had that. No, No, No, 637 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:24,560 Speaker 2: I never had that. 638 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:31,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, you hear this. Yeah, everybody wanted this, everybody was 639 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:35,640 Speaker 1: commit lock it down. 640 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:40,720 Speaker 2: The I was also saying that reciprocally that I never 641 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,800 Speaker 2: felt that way, like I was all in, okay, stop. 642 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 5: And feeling lonely when you're together with Yes, yes, man, 643 00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 5: that's comfortable at a gut level. 644 00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 2: Yes, all of those I had. 645 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, and again and whatever relationship we're not I'm. 646 00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,600 Speaker 2: Not saying any one person. We've had lots of relationships 647 00:30:58,600 --> 00:31:01,120 Speaker 2: in our lives were Ye, we're at that place. But 648 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,080 Speaker 2: that Actually I love that you asked that because I 649 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,960 Speaker 2: hadn't considered that outside of us, and once I looked 650 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,600 Speaker 2: at that in past relationships, it actually makes how I 651 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,440 Speaker 2: feel now even more special. Wow, I think you just 652 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 2: made our day. 653 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,040 Speaker 1: And thank you for that. Emma, thank you for that 654 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: as well. Folks, thank you for listening, and we'll go 655 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,640 Speaker 1: back to lusting individually apparently here, and we will see 656 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:30,480 Speaker 1: you from Possibly our next podcast might be recorded from 657 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:33,720 Speaker 1: an island. Yes we don't know yet, debating, don't hold 658 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,120 Speaker 1: us to that, but. 659 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:37,680 Speaker 2: Perhaps it just depends how much vacation we want to 660 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 2: be experiencing and how much work we want to do 661 00:31:40,520 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 2: on vacation. We could turn it into. 662 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,880 Speaker 1: A workation, all right, folks, thanks as always, appreciate y'all listening. 663 00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:46,640 Speaker 1: Let's see you soon.