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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode about this. I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock. Yest that, Kevin pollog No, I'm not completely

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Speaker 1: over the zoom experience. Thanks for asking, but I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet our alchemists, shall we no particular order? Please

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Speaker 1: say hello to Chris Oberetta. Hello, hello, Mr Chris. What

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Speaker 1: are you doing these days for exercise? Good question. So

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Speaker 1: I do my own personal workouts, um, just about every day. Um.

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Speaker 1: I'm using dumbbells and body weights. I do chest upper

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Speaker 1: two times a week and and my lower body two

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Speaker 1: times a week. But then I've been going on three

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Speaker 1: mile hikes with my girlfriend and every time we see

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Speaker 1: a bench or a curb or we we're those freaks

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Speaker 1: in the street now that like do like like the

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Speaker 1: street workouts, will like step up on like a high

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Speaker 1: planter and like do our legs and stuff like that.

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Speaker 1: You know what I mean, I know those freaks. And

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Speaker 1: then yesterday I took my shirt off because it was

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Speaker 1: such a beautiful day. I don't have a great body.

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Speaker 1: I just wanted a little son, okay. And then there's

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Speaker 1: a little girl on a bike and her mom said,

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Speaker 1: come on, come on, come this way, come this way,

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Speaker 1: and The girl was shocked and she went, look, that

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Speaker 1: man doesn't have a shirt on. Scarred for life. And

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Speaker 1: I said, I'll put it back on. And the mom's like,

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Speaker 1: it's okay, but the damage had been done. Please tell

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Speaker 1: me that's already on your resume under skills. What's the

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Speaker 1: skill scaring little girls if by taking your shirt off? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'll add that to actor's access before I bring you

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Speaker 1: into Mr Spielberg. It says here on your resume that

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Speaker 1: you can scare little girls by taking your shirt off.

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Speaker 1: Let me to show you what I'm working with her

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Speaker 1: three nipples. Okay, Uh, shut your trap. It's Craig Gatkowski. Cowp.

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Speaker 1: What's been the surprising bonus for you during the self quarantine?

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Speaker 1: Surprising bonus is that everybody's talking about inating weight. I've

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Speaker 1: been losing weight like a mofo. Uh. Yeah, that's good.

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Speaker 1: It seems like that's true all around in our crew,

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Speaker 1: because we've been rationing food very small portions. We've been

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Speaker 1: eating very small portions. And uh, I think it also

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Speaker 1: indicates that when I'm out and about, I eat a

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Speaker 1: fucking lot, and I eat three courses and not great food,

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Speaker 1: and uh, I'm eating healthy food and without really making

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Speaker 1: an effort losing weight. Yeah, it turns out exercise is

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Speaker 1: great for the h the physical body, but in terms

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Speaker 1: of weight actual weight loss, it's all about portion control

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Speaker 1: and stop eating after like seven at night. If you

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Speaker 1: want to get now, I know, if you want to

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Speaker 1: get the kitchen, I don't want to get cut It

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Speaker 1: turns out it's on the kitchen saying I never heard that.

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Speaker 1: How is that not a poster? That is? That's a

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Speaker 1: smart man. I'm gonna start voting because that's where the

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Speaker 1: knives are. Is that the point exactly? Now I'm talking

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Speaker 1: the corn cracked the corn. It's James Heeney, Jimmy John Jampoon.

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Speaker 1: Do you have a suggestion for what might replace the

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Speaker 1: handshake in our new normal encounters? I just I think

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Speaker 1: that eye contact and genuine joy to see a person

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Speaker 1: will show on your face. You don't need to touch someone.

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Speaker 1: In fact, I've never felt comfortable with being obliged to

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Speaker 1: touch and be touched. I've noticed that when we've hugged

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Speaker 1: in the past. Yeah, well yeah, and I don't try

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Speaker 1: not to let people notice. But it's always this like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's so so clear. Uh, but thank you for making

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Speaker 1: that the new mandate, thank you, And last, but may

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Speaker 1: your nuts be gathered and stored for COVID twenty if

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Speaker 1: you think him least. It's Joey career. Joe, Joe, Joe.

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Speaker 1: How is your Easter? So chill? He rose everything one

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Speaker 1: like clockwork, So we're good. He's gonna be born again

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Speaker 1: not too long from now, and then rapidly, and then

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Speaker 1: we'll do the whole thing again. We'll do the whole rigamarole.

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Speaker 1: We'll do the whole kill him again. You're gonna need

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Speaker 1: the Jews again like last nuk Man. Don't make it

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Speaker 1: personal like that. Okay, don't do this, Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: do you know what happened? We know what happened. We

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Speaker 1: move on. Okay, No, I've clearly moved on. All right,

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Speaker 1: Let's do a damn show. Almost all of our scene

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Speaker 1: suggestions have gathered from our patron v I p s.

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Speaker 1: And the rest are from your listener emails. And can

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Speaker 1: I just say that last night I put up perhaps

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Speaker 1: one of the funniest sketches we've ever done as a

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Speaker 1: short and Patreon. I almost felt guilty. It's like, why

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Speaker 1: is this just going to the Patreon? It's so good

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Speaker 1: you shouldn't say it now, I'm just making people jealous.

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Speaker 1: There's a really funny short that I put up last

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Speaker 1: night to our Patreon. What can you tell us anything

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Speaker 1: about the short? Can you tease? It was insisting your review?

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Speaker 1: Is that so positive? Well, it's it's a real life.

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Speaker 1: Well it's so similar of a description to things that

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Speaker 1: we've done. But it's us as the ha has and

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Speaker 1: improv team, and we really kind of we kind of

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Speaker 1: spear you, Kevin. We are really great. We spear you

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Speaker 1: so hard in it. But it was laughing so hard,

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Speaker 1: it was it was embarrassing to be laughing that loud

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Speaker 1: at night. In my part was this did this take

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Speaker 1: place backstage at the live show? No? No, no, this

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Speaker 1: was this was like we recorded this. It's my fault.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry. This was never something it was supposed to

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Speaker 1: be heard. Yeah, this was. Yeah, this was this was

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Speaker 1: part of Horrified. The recorded there's part of this. It's

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Speaker 1: like a three hour harangue of Pollock. Like it's it's like,

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Speaker 1: it's nasty. I think the Patreon members have been craving

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Speaker 1: a three hour Pollock harangue, So I think this is

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Speaker 1: gonna be just peach. I won't listen to it. I

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Speaker 1: mean you were laughing harder than any of us in

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Speaker 1: the episode, so I think you found it funny too.

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Speaker 1: It was. It was painfully funny when we recorded it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so funny in fact, I don't remember it. Um alright.

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Speaker 1: See Number one comes to us from Patreon alcmaniac Will.

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Speaker 1: I believe he's a new Alcamaniac. Bless you will. He

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Speaker 1: wrote for everyone, Dear Alchemist, this is William Morris. No,

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Speaker 1: not that William Morris, the one from upstate St. Louis.

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Speaker 1: This is my second time writing into your podcast. I

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Speaker 1: suggested the Mad Scientists yard Sales sketch, which may have

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Speaker 1: been your first flop. I remember that one. That was hilarious,

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Speaker 1: but at least it ended with Chris explained exclaiming what

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Speaker 1: the funk are we doing to this day? My favorite

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Speaker 1: line Joey, you, my man? Are the bees tits? Nothing?

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Speaker 1: Simply nothing beats a Joey monologue? Yeah, yeah, we we

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Speaker 1: love bearing witness to that too. Super fun. We've tried

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Speaker 1: to beat them, but they just won't be beaten down.

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Speaker 1: I think we've tried to stop them. Uh fucking owl

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Speaker 1: bone prophecy guy Louisiana lawyer, judge. Anytime Joey is sick

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Speaker 1: or dying, I cannot get enough. I decree my underlying

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Speaker 1: allegiance in the Cult of the Great Greer Lord Joey,

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Speaker 1: bless us with your ramblings, annoying us with your guttural sounds. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: here's my scene suggestion. James look away. Now, that's what

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Speaker 1: they write in the page and page because James and

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Speaker 1: I are the only two to read them. Are you

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Speaker 1: taking photos? Chris? Oh? That was the top of my head?

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Speaker 1: You wanna take on what I'm looking at? Top of

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Speaker 1: my head? My least favorite part. Um? Uh, Joey look,

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Speaker 1: James look, James look away. Yep, the Alchemists help Joey

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Speaker 1: deal with a multiple personality disorder. Thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: Please keep it up. The world needs laughter more than

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Speaker 1: anything right now. Thank you. Alcamaniac, Will Morris listen, Joe

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Speaker 1: is gonna be here in let's see seven minutes, you

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Speaker 1: guys and um, yeah, but what Joe is gonna be

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Speaker 1: here in seven All right? Well, do you want to

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Speaker 1: pick your favorites before he gets here? I'm sorry you

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Speaker 1: don't wanna. I want to order now? Do you want

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Speaker 1: to wait till what I think. I'm good to go, guys. Guys,

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Speaker 1: he thinks he's the waitress. Do you want to what an? Now?

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Speaker 1: Do you want to wait? Well, we'll wait, thanks, Han,

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Speaker 1: Are you sure? Actually? You know what we should do

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Speaker 1: is we should make an order really quick and then

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Speaker 1: it'll buy us sometime. Um, you know what, I'll come back.

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Speaker 1: I'll just come back. It's fine. Oh yeah, she will

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Speaker 1: come back. He's really committing to these characters. Why is

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Speaker 1: he wearing a short skirt? Why will you wear a

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Speaker 1: short skirt so easily? Is my question? But this is

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Speaker 1: an intervention of sorts. Look, I don't think this is

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Speaker 1: a I don't think this is a problem. I mean especially,

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry to be uh five of you here in

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Speaker 1: six cheers? If I borrow this cheer? Were four of

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Speaker 1: us here? What do you need the chair for us? Sir?

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Speaker 1: I need the chair for for a friend of mine.

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Speaker 1: Is that friend gonna becoming soon? I mean, you're here alone,

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Speaker 1: as Kevin? Why are you antagonizing Joey? He's just I

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Speaker 1: think I don't think we know his name? What's your name?

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Speaker 1: Was Brandon? Brandon? Sorry? Brandon? Is it a is it

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Speaker 1: a lady? Gal? That's why why is he still wearing

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Speaker 1: a short skirt? I don't know. Just go with it,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like if we if we call it out,

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Speaker 1: it's gonna fund his brain up. Relatively lame for a

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Speaker 1: Joey character. Name sure you can think? Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: thanks sir. So far, by the way, so far, I

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Speaker 1: see a trend. He came as the waitress left without

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Speaker 1: taking the order, came as the stranger wanting a chair,

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Speaker 1: left without taking the chair. I think that we build

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Speaker 1: this into the conversation with him, that he's not committing right,

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Speaker 1: and if he's not committing, maybe it's not all there.

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Speaker 1: Maybe he can come back to being a Chathan. I

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Speaker 1: think you should be careful what you wish for. There

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Speaker 1: are some things that we don't want him to commit to. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and don't make me name two and three of that,

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Speaker 1: because it we get dirty fast. There are some things

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Speaker 1: that I am grateful that Joey doesn't commit to. Just

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Speaker 1: the third thing you're grateful? Well, okay, for the third thing,

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Speaker 1: I would say, it's slurping bodily fluids. And I've never

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Speaker 1: seen him actually do it, But if he committed to it,

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Speaker 1: it wouldn't make it better. I have to say that

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Speaker 1: of my week is taken up with interventions for fellow

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Speaker 1: cast members, like it's getting out of hand, Craig. We

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Speaker 1: were going to have an intervention for you, really frustrations

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Speaker 1: for interventions, but we didn't think you'd like it. That's

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Speaker 1: too meta. I appreciate the interventions, but I feel like

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Speaker 1: now I'm pretty much no my pro problems ironed out. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you brought hash browns to a restaurant. I mean yeah,

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Speaker 1: but I'm sorry. Yeah, so I see that you brought

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Speaker 1: some food out that at our restaurant. So you have

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Speaker 1: a duffle bag of looks there's other cook food. You're

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Speaker 1: burning out? Sure that we can't We can't have that.

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Speaker 1: We just can't have it. Oh, this is These are

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Speaker 1: medical great hashbrown so I have to have them. It's

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Speaker 1: like insulin for some people, but for me, this is,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, medal, medical greats. What did your disease?

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Speaker 1: You don't maybe prid too quickly do your medical history

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Speaker 1: right there? Come on, Joey, what are you doing? Don't

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Speaker 1: touch me? Don't you touch me? All right, I will

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Speaker 1: touch you touch me. I'm gonna shake this out of you, Joey.

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Speaker 1: It's us it's us. Oh you want to Craig hit

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Speaker 1: him hard? Where do you do that? You're getting hurt

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Speaker 1: of Craig? Mom? How many personalities do you have? Where's

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Speaker 1: the real Joey? I'll never tell you what accent is that?

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Speaker 1: Christ compell you? Never? You never compelling me? Never? Now?

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Speaker 1: What can I get you to eat a sampler? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Where's Joey? I want to talk to Joey and Telly,

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Speaker 1: but you have to give me. Okay, Joey, I'll give

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Speaker 1: you a secret. Just if I give you this secret?

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Speaker 1: You bring out, joe Okay, Sometimes when I'm alone, I

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Speaker 1: take out my toe nail clippers and use them on

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Speaker 1: my finger. Now, is that this really a secret? That

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Speaker 1: a secret? No? No one knows that other than you?

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Speaker 1: Why not we all do? Okay, no one knew that

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Speaker 1: that's that's your secret? Tell him a secret that we

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Speaker 1: can't hear. I don't know if it counts that way. Okay, Joey, Joey,

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Speaker 1: come here, whatever your name? Does anyone else want to

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Speaker 1: give a secret? This guy's secret? Sound really? He didn't

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Speaker 1: what I want? And um, excuse me? Part of me here?

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Speaker 1: Uh hi, Jonathan, I'm with the William Morris agencies. I

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Speaker 1: couldn't help, but see you go through those. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: telling yeah, uh wow, impressive, really impressive works. Are you

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Speaker 1: familiar with the festival called Just for Giggles? I actually am.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm one of the founding members, happy to

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Speaker 1: jump in, though I haven't done in a while. He's

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Speaker 1: a compulsive liar too, So there's just for laughs in Montreal.

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Speaker 1: This is just for giggles in Michigan. Uh, I see

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Speaker 1: what's going on here? Listen, I'm gonna I'm gonna step away.

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Speaker 1: Wait wait wait? Give you my business card? Could I get?

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Speaker 1: Could I give you mine? If you're yeah, you're James Heney. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're the real James Heney. That's the one. Oh, huge fan,

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Speaker 1: love the briefs. Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait,

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Speaker 1: hold on, hold on. I mean I have a card too.

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Speaker 1: Let's give me a second. Here, I gave him my card.

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Speaker 1: I don't for a child's birthday. Here you go and

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Speaker 1: inside its big fan, big fan, Thanks buddy. I'm I

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Speaker 1: have representation. I'm good okay, And you, sir, I don't

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Speaker 1: recognize you? Are you? Uh? I'm just passers by. Oh

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Speaker 1: that makes sense, that makes sense. But I'm thinking about

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Speaker 1: thinking about getting into biz, suggestions about how I would

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Speaker 1: do that. Well, now we're doing casting. It's different. It's

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Speaker 1: a different time. Unless you have where did Chris go?

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Speaker 1: I don't know where. That's weird, Oh, man, Joey, Sir, sir, listen, uh,

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Speaker 1: I can just have a reel. I can do I

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Speaker 1: could do it right now if you want some acting reel.

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Speaker 1: I just saw it. I really enjoyed it and just

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Speaker 1: got off the tracks. When when you said that you

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Speaker 1: were the co founder of the Just for Giggles festival,

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Speaker 1: did you say that? Oh? Maybe I said that. That's

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Speaker 1: your name, sir? In the Chris? Are you in the bathroom? Chris? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: What's up to Chris? There's an Asian out there. Everybody's

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Speaker 1: getting at you. Gotta get out of here. U has

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Speaker 1: he talked to Joey yet? Did? He's really impressed with Joey.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. He needs to know, he needs to know.

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Speaker 1: I'm better. Amen. I'm not saying are you in the bathroom?

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Speaker 1: I'm done now, I'm done. We'll stay in there, man,

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Speaker 1: I need to use it. Wait, why do you look?

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Speaker 1: Stay in there? Man? James James being fellas need a

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Speaker 1: mentor a hand towel. I need a hand towel, all right,

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Speaker 1: probap some gum. Now, this is a towel to clean hands,

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Speaker 1: is co. It's to dry your hands. Dry your hands,

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Speaker 1: all right? And I'm not see you here. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: use the worst of real quick bathroom. Hey, buddy, and

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Speaker 1: you come in here with me right now. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: got to use them. I think he's talking to you know,

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Speaker 1: I'm not man, I'm talking to you, buddy. Come on later, James. Okay,

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Speaker 1: you guys, what did I miss? Nothing's happening to this guy.

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Speaker 1: Nothing's agent. He's about to sign my ass wow. Um.

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Speaker 1: Actually I just lost my representation recently because of this

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Speaker 1: whole situation. Where the uh that's funny, that's funny. I

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Speaker 1: can do a couple of characters for you if you like.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm okay, I think let's see it. Like,

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Speaker 1: hold on a second, please, I am an Asian with

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Speaker 1: C A A, and I too would like to see

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Speaker 1: your talents do it. You're you're what. I'm an Asian

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Speaker 1: with C A A. The Chinese Athletic Association, that's the one. Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm not that athletic, but I do. I heard you

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Speaker 1: do squats out on the open outside. Okay, Um, well, no,

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Speaker 1: I appreciate the offer. I'm just not looking for representation

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Speaker 1: in the athletic field. I am, however, looking how long

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Speaker 1: have you been going the bathroom? I was just going

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Speaker 1: in here to get a friend. I didn't need to

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Speaker 1: go to the bathroom. You haven't go in the bathroom

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Speaker 1: a long time, pretty much a whole live. Oh you

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Speaker 1: mean how long in my life have I been using

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Speaker 1: the bathroom? Ye think I thought you meant like how

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Speaker 1: long I've been in here? Like? I mean, I just

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Speaker 1: walked in here before you did. Oh, I was using

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Speaker 1: the bathroom since I was probably I don't remember, but three.

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Speaker 1: I assume whatever the appropriate age learned bathroom. I mean, wait,

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Speaker 1: you you you let bowels out only when you were three?

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Speaker 1: You didn't go before? Well, I mean before I wasn't

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Speaker 1: using a special room designated for it. This isn't inappropriate, Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what you're trying to get at. I'm

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Speaker 1: trying to go to the bathroom, and I need you

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Speaker 1: in here with me while I'm going to bathroom. All right,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hold your hand, sir. I don't

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Speaker 1: think it's helpful. Well, it's not helpful for me either

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Speaker 1: if you don't hold it right now. I need pressure

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Speaker 1: points on the inside of my palms. All right. I

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Speaker 1: can't go unless I do that. I have a very

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Speaker 1: tight spincter. You know what that's like. I know now

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Speaker 1: you don't know what that's like, right, Okay? I like

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Speaker 1: every day in pain? Well okay, so where is it

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Speaker 1: that I gotta press your hand? No, Craig, what can

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Speaker 1: I do to get you to headline? Just for giggles

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Speaker 1: this year on? I mean I have a standard ask Okay, okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: that sounds fair. Got a standard as that's funny. Now

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Speaker 1: you're Joey. Now you're Joey. Don't don't do this? Okay,

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Speaker 1: get out of my face? Man, do you want to

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Speaker 1: get your faces? Look, dude, I'm gonna get this as

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Speaker 1: Dida's deal and this Ford deal. Will you like it

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Speaker 1: or not? Okay? Big time baby? Like My standard ASK

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Speaker 1: is a first class flights round trip twenty thousand and

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Speaker 1: uh three nights at a five star hotel. Okay, I'll

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Speaker 1: double that? Do so? You want? You wants in cash?

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Speaker 1: Six nights at a and that's yes, yes, yes, And

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Speaker 1: I won't do it with that. So if I don't

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Speaker 1: get that, then then you can go and suck my

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Speaker 1: ass because I'm done. No, no, don't don't done, done, done, done. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Hi again, thanks for coming in today. Um. I just

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Speaker 1: have a couple of questions out to your examination. Have

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Speaker 1: you been asking a greater than average number of people

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Speaker 1: to suck your ass? Because I'm seeing some marks here

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Speaker 1: that don't otherwise make sense. Yeah, that's true. It is

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Speaker 1: true that you ask a lot of people to suck

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Speaker 1: your ass. Do I have a very touch specter? I

326
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Speaker 1: need help with suction? Okay? And when did you first

327
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Speaker 1: notice this? First notice this? When I first said ballot movies? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So I'm gonna try to I'm gonna try to insert

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Speaker 1: something and you tell me when you feel it. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this first item is very okay, here we go. Did

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Speaker 1: you did you do it? I did? I can't feel it.

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Speaker 1: Quail leg? Yeah? All right, let me try another item. Here?

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00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,199
Speaker 1: Are you taking anything out of You're just leaving in

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00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 1: there and pushing the further. Well, if you don't feel that,

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00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:16,440
Speaker 1: I don't see the difference. All right, I don't want

336
00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,320
Speaker 1: to take the quail leg out. And now I'm gonna

337
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 1: put in a new item. Here we go. Did you

338
00:21:22,359 --> 00:21:25,400
Speaker 1: and do you feel that? Did you do it? It's

339
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 1: in there, Hi there and the doctor. I'm what the

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00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 1: fun is going? One, Let's get out of here. Let's

341
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 1: get the hell out of here. Holy no, wait, no, son,

342
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Speaker 1: Well let me come on, box me out, man, let

343
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Speaker 1: me get out of here. Man, come on, okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, we almost got caught man, We almost got

345
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Speaker 1: his man. Holy ship almost had a two, almost had

346
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Speaker 1: a two before. Come on, may don't tell me man,

347
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 1: I want to guess this ship. No damn man. Well

348
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 1: now the whole gang was ruined. I know what was coming.

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Speaker 1: God damn it. And that is san one mother McCree,

350
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 1: very very real, very very I lost myself. That is

351
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Speaker 1: my standard. Asked, by the way, for anybody listening. It's

352
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:17,680
Speaker 1: also Joey's a ten star hotel six nights at a

353
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Speaker 1: tense star. Seem to come from the initials see as

354
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Speaker 1: in Charlie M. As in Mary c. M, who wrote

355
00:22:29,560 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 1: as the world collapses into turmoil, countries chose one person

356
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Speaker 1: to live in a bunker. It's orientation Day. Thanks the

357
00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:46,199
Speaker 1: dandie dude from Dallas. C M. All right, we just

358
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:51,800
Speaker 1: need to I think we need Germany and Spain. It

359
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:57,119
Speaker 1: looks like the last two entries into the bunker. Does

360
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Speaker 1: anyone have any progress reports on Germany? Or I don't

361
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:05,280
Speaker 1: enough a Germany? Is? Are you the are you the

362
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:11,359
Speaker 1: chosen One? I don't know? Maybe? Okay, I see a

363
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:15,080
Speaker 1: little coquettish that will do you very very well in

364
00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:19,720
Speaker 1: the bunker. I apologize that I am running late. Are

365
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,000
Speaker 1: you the gentleman from Spain? We're waiting on? Yes, I

366
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:28,040
Speaker 1: am the bunker. My name is James. That's what I

367
00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:33,560
Speaker 1: have here. J apostrophe A M E Yes? Is that right? Yes? James?

368
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 1: Or let change this change O colmo stars. This is

369
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 1: the Bunker Jahames and the gentleman from Germany, the chosen One?

370
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:54,119
Speaker 1: Your name schoonliding? You got that school? It seems to

371
00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:59,480
Speaker 1: be metamorphosizing. It's an unusually short name. What's the first

372
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 1: letter in that bluegle Okay, I cannot say that. You

373
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 1: can't say blue lob. We'll call you be. I'll call

374
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: you be. My name is I short in its gluen sizon?

375
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,240
Speaker 1: Did you call me it? Doesn't? You know? What I'll

376
00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 1: go into that banker is he irons see from Welcome

377
00:24:29,080 --> 00:24:31,920
Speaker 1: to the bank, Welcome to the banker. Mate. Where where's

378
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:38,760
Speaker 1: you from? Then? Are you talking to me? Possibly your Spain?

379
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,240
Speaker 1: You might be able to tell from my accent. I

380
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:44,920
Speaker 1: would not have guessed Spain. No, maybe like a pirate

381
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:49,199
Speaker 1: of some going maybe a Spanish pirate? Are you a

382
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,920
Speaker 1: Spanish pirate? But do you know? Do you know? Why?

383
00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:57,439
Speaker 1: Do you suppose why you were chosen? I believe it

384
00:24:57,480 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 1: was a lottery. A lottery, Yes, I believe it was

385
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: a lottery. We were all chosen for different reasons. What

386
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:09,159
Speaker 1: about you, sir? From Germany? Was it? Do you know

387
00:25:09,160 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: why you were chosen? Care to share? Yes? I found

388
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:20,280
Speaker 1: I was the best tickler. Tickler, I do not like

389
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 1: to be tickled, so please do not tickle me. I

390
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 1: don't think he was going to tickle your mate. He's

391
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:33,560
Speaker 1: a tickler. I'm sorry. What's the difference? Oh my mistake? Tickler?

392
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:38,920
Speaker 1: And what about you man? Where are you from? Me? Nope?

393
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,960
Speaker 1: Talking to the mate? Was already here. Oh I'm yoursa

394
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,680
Speaker 1: from Poland? Poland? Grant. Do you know why you were chosen?

395
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,679
Speaker 1: We're just going around the bend here, probably because I

396
00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 1: am a scientist. See, now there's a reason this bloke

397
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 1: over here was what was it? Tickler? The Germans crowd

398
00:25:59,080 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: sauce was chosen for tickling and the Spanish pirate. I

399
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,960
Speaker 1: thought looting perhaps, but no, he says, it's a lottery.

400
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: What about you, mate? Uh? I built a bunker American

401
00:26:15,520 --> 00:26:20,400
Speaker 1: m hm. How long did it take to build a banker? Man? Um?

402
00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 1: Three and a half weeks we had, we had union

403
00:26:22,760 --> 00:26:25,800
Speaker 1: people on the job. Those are great papers. Two and

404
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:31,560
Speaker 1: a half weeks, man, Yeah, three and a half weeks. Yeah,

405
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:37,080
Speaker 1: where are the ladies? Oh? It is real sausage party

406
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:41,119
Speaker 1: in here. It's real sausage party. I was expecting it

407
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: to be a close to fifty. Didn't somebody say a sausage?

408
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:52,920
Speaker 1: It leaves somebody system? And then what is your name?

409
00:26:53,040 --> 00:27:02,040
Speaker 1: And my name is h Yes, it's a very common

410
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:07,119
Speaker 1: Italian name. In Italian name, I have a little victor,

411
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,520
Speaker 1: I have a little I have a nice amount, I

412
00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:15,399
Speaker 1: have a nice tep back. Look. Look look at what

413
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,119
Speaker 1: I can do if I put those spoons together and

414
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 1: I rob look at this. Look look at you made

415
00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 1: gold coins? Make gold coins. It's super simple. Is that

416
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:31,280
Speaker 1: why you were chosen there? I wasn't chosen because I'm

417
00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:38,879
Speaker 1: a mega so chosen for your ability to make the

418
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,920
Speaker 1: only person in it to make it the best cure me?

419
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:49,040
Speaker 1: And did you bring with you up? Sorry to interrupt,

420
00:27:49,119 --> 00:27:52,440
Speaker 1: Sorry to interrupt. This is important. So as you can tell,

421
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,240
Speaker 1: you've all been chosen selected, you all here, Yeah, that's

422
00:27:56,240 --> 00:28:01,560
Speaker 1: good news. There there will be one woman entering the bunker.

423
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:06,680
Speaker 1: Now what job? Her job here is to find who

424
00:28:06,720 --> 00:28:11,080
Speaker 1: she thinks is the best mate and begin, uh you know,

425
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:14,360
Speaker 1: procreating with that person. So this is like a Bachelor

426
00:28:14,440 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: Ate episode. Basically, this sounds like a very good odds

427
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,399
Speaker 1: for me. I'm yes, but but but the steaks are

428
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: much much higher. What do you mean by that? How

429
00:28:26,920 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: high are the stakes? Then? What what do you mean?

430
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: What do I mean? It's how we okay? Then I'll answer,

431
00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:38,719
Speaker 1: I guess it was clear. What do you mean? The

432
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:41,960
Speaker 1: only rule is they're going to be some kind of

433
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,960
Speaker 1: dancing that I had to dance on, not to dance

434
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 1: and Germany, why don't you put a socket and let

435
00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 1: the man explain. I can't do it. I can't bear consers,

436
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 1: these presses. He says. There must be a fair bunker.

437
00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: There must be no no, no, no, no, no no.

438
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:00,200
Speaker 1: We had union men builders for three and a half weeks.

439
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,120
Speaker 1: There are getting out of here. That's gonna be enough time.

440
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 1: That's enough time had to be structurally sounds such inspection. Gentlemen,

441
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 1: May I introduce you. I'm a tea wander. Well, hello,

442
00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:23,720
Speaker 1: wonder on this one, wonder, Hi, this is really it

443
00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:30,360
Speaker 1: looks like though what wonder twins with the same fucking name. No, no, no, no,

444
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: no no. I'm I'm a man. I just sound like

445
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:36,719
Speaker 1: a woman. That's not a big deal. Okay, that Wanda

446
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 1: has a brother, well, I figured it was okay to

447
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 1: bring my brother along. There's no way that this would

448
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,200
Speaker 1: be the connection obviously, so he's not. Well, we're not

449
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:50,920
Speaker 1: going to rule any mail out. What do you mean

450
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 1: trying to make you want to start that? You want

451
00:29:53,560 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 1: to write stuff like insist. I think you' to try

452
00:30:00,560 --> 00:30:03,000
Speaker 1: started like the royal family whoever gets whoever? You know

453
00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:09,680
Speaker 1: what I mean? All right, let's set this up. We

454
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:13,440
Speaker 1: were about to get the one rule. Yes, I would

455
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:15,600
Speaker 1: like the rules explained to me as well. I'm glad

456
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 1: I'm here. This a dance thing. I can't stand I'm

457
00:30:22,480 --> 00:30:26,160
Speaker 1: not allowed to dance. I have a strange feat in

458
00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,200
Speaker 1: a circular vein my needs to be a displaced and

459
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: I pop out and trying to step up. You will

460
00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 1: line up single file, a few moments alone or not alone,

461
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: a few moments with one, tell her why you might

462
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 1: make a good partner for her, and at the end

463
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: she will select who she will start the new human

464
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,000
Speaker 1: race with. And how was she doing that by presenting

465
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,600
Speaker 1: a rose to that person? This is a Bachelorette episode.

466
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,240
Speaker 1: We have flowers. They're not roses. We're not ripping off

467
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, but of the Bachelor, right, best flowers? Yeah,

468
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,960
Speaker 1: we just happen to have carnation. It's available. What is

469
00:31:05,000 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: this doing they are documenting? I mean, this is the

470
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 1: beginning of the new humanity? Hey, how you doing what

471
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 1: I'm say? I'm your handler, so I'm gonna be taking

472
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:20,959
Speaker 1: care of you, okay, scientist guy from yes from Poland? Yeah, whatever, Look,

473
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:22,479
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be working with you. Okay. So let's give

474
00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:24,640
Speaker 1: some emotions in there, all right, let's really make it

475
00:31:24,720 --> 00:31:27,320
Speaker 1: pop up? Can we really want this to be a hot? Hot?

476
00:31:27,440 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 1: Are you coaching me? What? What is this? I want

477
00:31:30,240 --> 00:31:31,840
Speaker 1: to do? Natural? Want to be natural? All right? So

478
00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:33,719
Speaker 1: let's little Look, I thought I signed up for an

479
00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:36,400
Speaker 1: experiment and not a reality show. One would say to

480
00:31:36,440 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: the same thing. Okay, now, so listen, let's just say

481
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:43,840
Speaker 1: all right, then I'm hurt. What would you say to me? Uh?

482
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: One day, I am yours, I am a scientist from Poland.

483
00:31:46,640 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: I am here to your name is Let's change it.

484
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 1: Let's let's go to Philip. People like Philip Philip. Yeah,

485
00:31:54,480 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: let's say you're a pilot. Is that cool? That's not

486
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:59,640
Speaker 1: my name and not my job. Okay, so you're a pilot.

487
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:04,600
Speaker 1: All right, let's say you're twenty two. Okay, hello, Janda,

488
00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,320
Speaker 1: I'm a twenty two year old pilot from Poland. My

489
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: name is Philip. You would look very hot. Is that

490
00:32:11,560 --> 00:32:14,160
Speaker 1: what you want? Great? Little more emotional, little more emotion.

491
00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:18,720
Speaker 1: This is the most emotional Polish person can possibly But

492
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: then we're fucked, phil Okay, do you understand that if

493
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,480
Speaker 1: you get picked it ups me my job? Okay, I

494
00:32:23,520 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 1: get a little rasied if that happens. Hi there, Hi, Hi,

495
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: Hi Spanish guy. Hi, I'm your handler here. Um, listen,

496
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 1: it's it's important to me that you get Wanda. You

497
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Ah, that makes sense. I want

498
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:38,200
Speaker 1: to get Wanda as well. Good. Good, good. Good. So

499
00:32:38,240 --> 00:32:43,200
Speaker 1: you're from Spain, of course. Okay, you can call me

500
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:48,000
Speaker 1: Johas instead of Spanish guy. If you know, Johannes is

501
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 1: a terrible name. Anything around the root word James is

502
00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: very unsexy. Um, try try Philip. Can you say Philip? Philip?

503
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 1: My name is Philipp Okay, okay, okay, And what do

504
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,160
Speaker 1: you do for a living? Well? Between you and I?

505
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:05,960
Speaker 1: I was a pirate, but I don't really want that

506
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,720
Speaker 1: to be out there. Okay, how about we we we

507
00:33:08,760 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 1: switched pirate to pilot. Oh that sounds very similar. Okay, okay,

508
00:33:14,000 --> 00:33:18,760
Speaker 1: so great. And now let's just cover your age. How

509
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,440
Speaker 1: old are you? Okay? Forties three years old? No, no, no,

510
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,280
Speaker 1: I don't say that. I don't say that ever again.

511
00:33:23,360 --> 00:33:26,200
Speaker 1: You're twenty two from now one. Okay, listen, if you

512
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: get this, it helps me. Okay, you don't understand. I

513
00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 1: can't doose this. Okay, I don't want to do this.

514
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,000
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do if it's this. Alright,

515
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: I'm your pirate, okay, my pirates pate jeans, Oh my god,

516
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: all it's locked this board. Everyone got to hand that.

517
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:54,600
Speaker 1: I got to pirates. What does this mean? Pate? A

518
00:33:54,640 --> 00:33:59,200
Speaker 1: pirate earlier it was really bleeding in. You've got to

519
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:06,120
Speaker 1: call for pirate. Pirate everyone mistake. Everyone's got to handle that. No,

520
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 1: of course, I don't have a handleg and a pirate. Okay,

521
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,759
Speaker 1: you might have gotten one of the worst handlers, but

522
00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:18,360
Speaker 1: I obviously got the worst count. All right, lady and gentlemen,

523
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:22,000
Speaker 1: the time has come or wanted to make her decision

524
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:24,880
Speaker 1: all of us. Not all of us have had our

525
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:29,439
Speaker 1: time with it, though, Osh a chance to I haven't

526
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 1: got wonder mother name has a field. I'm a pilot.

527
00:34:35,400 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 1: I'm two years old. I am sorry. I can I

528
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:48,720
Speaker 1: have a moment with the producers of the show or whatever?

529
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:50,640
Speaker 1: Do you mean? I'm also a pilot. I am also

530
00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:54,000
Speaker 1: a pilot who was twenty two years old? Irish sir,

531
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: I'm very emotional. I can fly planes, man, I'm twenty one.

532
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:03,320
Speaker 1: Don't see. Here's the problem is I I don't like pilots.

533
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 1: My father was a pilot and he was never around

534
00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:10,399
Speaker 1: fishing boat. Huh. I can also run a fishing boat.

535
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: That's interesting. You didn't tell me that during our moment

536
00:35:13,480 --> 00:35:15,600
Speaker 1: that we had together, but it was so so short.

537
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:18,640
Speaker 1: It was what about me and your brother? I mean,

538
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: I am an Honestly, I don't think that that would

539
00:35:21,800 --> 00:35:24,160
Speaker 1: good for the human race. You're a pilot. You followed

540
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 1: dad in his footsteps. I think that I've really been

541
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: trying to get away from that anything except pilot. Okay, Okay,

542
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,799
Speaker 1: this is sick. This is honestly sick. I'm not going

543
00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:36,000
Speaker 1: to get together with my brother. I mean, that's what

544
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:41,200
Speaker 1: I was saying, Wander, could you could you tell us

545
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,960
Speaker 1: something about yourself other than being the only woman down here,

546
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:48,520
Speaker 1: because I'm ready to turn Well, I grew up in

547
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 1: the Midwest. Yea, I'd like to talk to one of

548
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,279
Speaker 1: you fellows. Commercial break. Okay, we're out Okay, great, guys,

549
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:59,360
Speaker 1: Let's take a stick of ten going out live. That's

550
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:03,320
Speaker 1: going out live? Yes, you live? Do we get to

551
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:06,520
Speaker 1: leave ten minutes for we're in a bunker? Okay to

552
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,840
Speaker 1: post a talk to the hell skate out there? You

553
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: think you want to leave? What's it? Ten minutes for commercials? Commercials? Commercials?

554
00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:19,439
Speaker 1: Who's just there? Who's watching? This year? When we come back,

555
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:21,239
Speaker 1: everybody should know, when we come back, it will be

556
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 1: the dance off. It will be the big group dance.

557
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 1: At which points this kind of because I noticed this

558
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:33,880
Speaker 1: this is my hell. Please please someone killing me, somebody

559
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:36,759
Speaker 1: charging me? Please, I don't care how. And we're back

560
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 1: in five. Don't finish that county? Oh god please? Alright,

561
00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 1: who have a signal out there? And this we call's

562
00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,799
Speaker 1: no God, there's no nothing to say it now play

563
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,640
Speaker 1: a little song for everybody today, So God, no, please.

564
00:36:55,760 --> 00:37:00,640
Speaker 1: I really should have looked over those papers that I signed, babe, bang,

565
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:09,000
Speaker 1: look at this moves one. Philip? Can I talk? Man?

566
00:37:09,080 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 1: Are you talking to Philip? Can talk to you? Yes, Philip? No,

567
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,120
Speaker 1: not phil Philip. I can talk Philip and talk to Philip. Yes,

568
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:17,600
Speaker 1: that needs my name? Philip. Can I talk to Philip? Please?

569
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:20,920
Speaker 1: Do you mean James? Philip? I need it starts to

570
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,839
Speaker 1: Philip the Pirates. He's in his twenties and he's talk

571
00:37:23,880 --> 00:37:26,880
Speaker 1: to Philip Parks. Definite leave me, that's most definitely. I

572
00:37:27,120 --> 00:37:29,680
Speaker 1: need to talk to Philip. He's in his twenties. He's

573
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:34,759
Speaker 1: a Pilot's not you? Okay. I don't know what else

574
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:36,840
Speaker 1: to say. I have been told that I am Philip,

575
00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,960
Speaker 1: and I am twenty two, and I am a pilot. Man,

576
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: I'm not your fucking handler. Okay, excuse me? There a problem? Yeah,

577
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: they're talking to my guys. I'm not talking to your guy.

578
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:48,799
Speaker 1: Your guy was talking to me. I'm trying to find

579
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 1: my guy fhlip. He was looking for Philip. And as

580
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:55,439
Speaker 1: we have discussed, this is did you looking for me?

581
00:37:56,160 --> 00:38:03,280
Speaker 1: I am a guy, I'm a Philip at the video? Wanda,

582
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:08,560
Speaker 1: have you made your decision? Um? Is it? Uh? Let's

583
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,480
Speaker 1: see all right, we're going to commercial now, let's go

584
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:14,439
Speaker 1: to commercial grade. Okay, we got ten until we're back

585
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:16,680
Speaker 1: to just take your time, relax. We've got ten minutes still,

586
00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,759
Speaker 1: we're back, and then we're gonna make that final call. Okay, Well,

587
00:38:19,760 --> 00:38:22,279
Speaker 1: you're really stretching out the drama of this. Yeah. Well,

588
00:38:22,320 --> 00:38:25,799
Speaker 1: there's nothing else going on there, Okay, buddy, Okay, my

589
00:38:25,920 --> 00:38:30,359
Speaker 1: Russian friend, there's nothing else to please keep away from

590
00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: the craft service place. That's for Wanda only. As for

591
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: Wanda only, it's like a huge spread. She can possibly

592
00:38:36,760 --> 00:38:39,359
Speaker 1: eat all this food. This a lobster will look bad

593
00:38:39,560 --> 00:38:42,920
Speaker 1: very soon. There's parogi here. I mean this has to

594
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 1: be for me. Listen, Wanda has had a few asks

595
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:48,879
Speaker 1: before she came in here, and that was staying at

596
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:54,320
Speaker 1: a Booboo Star hotel for six nights and this large spread.

597
00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 1: This is a ridiculous ask. So do you the production

598
00:38:58,280 --> 00:39:02,319
Speaker 1: company know about that? This ask? Oh, yeah, we made

599
00:39:02,320 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 1: a disaster. I knew it. That's Hollywood, baby, and we're

600
00:39:11,920 --> 00:39:19,360
Speaker 1: back in oh oh las and jud lady and gentlemen.

601
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:22,480
Speaker 1: Wanda has made her decision. Well, all the men from

602
00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,560
Speaker 1: all the countries please line up. One will be handed

603
00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: the carnation. See a German Man's kneecaps are displaced and

604
00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:38,400
Speaker 1: he seems to have passed out from pain. Is anyone

605
00:39:38,400 --> 00:39:41,920
Speaker 1: else caring? No one cares? Okay, okay, I said, I

606
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 1: went to pick the German Man. I wasn't going to

607
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,280
Speaker 1: pick the German Man. I would say that the number

608
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: one probably the Irishman. But is it too late for

609
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,239
Speaker 1: me to just go back to the health escape and

610
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:57,480
Speaker 1: deal with the whatever turmoil might come about and pass

611
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 1: this carnation to another woman to decide. No, you do

612
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:04,280
Speaker 1: have that choice. You can walk out of that door. Wait,

613
00:40:04,320 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 1: that's an option for real, for her, for her, maybe

614
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,280
Speaker 1: you and I can just get out of here together,

615
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: because I don't think I want to be in this bunker. Also,

616
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:14,279
Speaker 1: of course, you're not limited to the five countries that

617
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,279
Speaker 1: have been heavily featured. There's somebody, there's a man here

618
00:40:17,320 --> 00:40:20,440
Speaker 1: from every country around the world. It's like there's like

619
00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:23,120
Speaker 1: a hundred and seventy fellows in here. What about being

620
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: on Chad from Chad? Have you talked to Chad from Chad?

621
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: Not for most good eye? I'm also she didn't want

622
00:40:35,719 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: to be one of its. Hey, let's part it out.

623
00:40:44,120 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 1: This is this is a riser blind. Wait does that

624
00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: another guy from Australia looks like from Australia looks like

625
00:40:56,800 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: the paper or from Mosey? How did the Australia get

626
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:06,919
Speaker 1: more than one? I don't understand. I've got a hard

627
00:41:06,920 --> 00:41:10,440
Speaker 1: pass on this, and I think this is too You

628
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: can't choose one of us. I can't to choose one

629
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: if you. It's not because you are all so good though,

630
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,800
Speaker 1: It's because I just can't picture my life in this bunker.

631
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:24,560
Speaker 1: On the next bunker, bachelorette will want to choose the

632
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:27,879
Speaker 1: man of her life. Well, the man from Germany ever

633
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 1: wake up? Will Chat ever find that backwards? Will the

634
00:41:32,560 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: irishman ever get over the fact that there's no more whiskey?

635
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,319
Speaker 1: Will the Italian guys share his saucy? Well? The Australians

636
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:44,399
Speaker 1: ever stopped fighting? Well, the Americans ever stopped looking at

637
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:48,880
Speaker 1: the third books the thing and the Will the French

638
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:55,320
Speaker 1: guy ever stop getting all the coffee? Will the Argentina

639
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: guys ip beating all that the steak? Will the the

640
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: gentleman from X go ever? Are you just like improvising

641
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:09,400
Speaker 1: all they? You? Please stop all right next time on

642
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:15,320
Speaker 1: the bunker that seemed to seem to in the Bunker.

643
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:22,319
Speaker 1: S three was brought to this by Patreon v I

644
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 1: P Aaron. Who's the fella who leads all those hilarious

645
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,840
Speaker 1: phone messages on our hotline that very few other people

646
00:42:29,920 --> 00:42:33,279
Speaker 1: have other ever ever used? Thank you Aaron for that

647
00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 1: um And he always ends those calls with Okay, call

648
00:42:37,040 --> 00:42:41,600
Speaker 1: me back. Remember that something? So Aaron wrote, Hey, James,

649
00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 1: You're the best. Now quit looking at this? Geez? How

650
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:50,160
Speaker 1: about one of you guys was cast as Harry Potter

651
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:55,800
Speaker 1: in the film, but showed up to set without having

652
00:42:55,800 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: read the script. Okay call me back? By so many

653
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,640
Speaker 1: it was like that, And I remember when I first

654
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,520
Speaker 1: came up on it. It wasn't anything bigger than that,

655
00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:08,800
Speaker 1: and I thought, well, if I'm going to do theater,

656
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,399
Speaker 1: it's want to be. But I loved them, and then

657
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: from the old VIC. The old VIC was too tiny

658
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,960
Speaker 1: for you pretty much, and I was like, look, if

659
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:19,280
Speaker 1: I'm on, I have to get on a bigger screen,

660
00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:24,239
Speaker 1: which vent in my mind led to film TV or that.

661
00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:27,080
Speaker 1: So I pretty much met the actor. Have you met

662
00:43:27,080 --> 00:43:30,759
Speaker 1: the actor that's playing Harry Potter? No, he hasn't come

663
00:43:30,800 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 1: out of Austrailia. Do you know? Maybe all that and

664
00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:37,480
Speaker 1: he used to getting it? Do we call him Harry

665
00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 1: to his face? For me? We just if you want

666
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: to start problems, I don't just going by name. What's

667
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:46,600
Speaker 1: his name? I don't know. I think it's not a

668
00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 1: cold sheet, isn't it. I didn't get a call sheet?

669
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:53,560
Speaker 1: My your cute? If you didn't get a cold sheet,

670
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 1: don't you make up a wardrobe already? Today? Anyone can

671
00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,799
Speaker 1: go in there and get it done. It's not like

672
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 1: it's not allowed to do that. I mean a PA

673
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,399
Speaker 1: took me in there by by name, he said, right,

674
00:44:04,520 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 1: you were there ready for you? I went in your

675
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,719
Speaker 1: phone mate? If you didn't get a cool sheet, yeah,

676
00:44:09,920 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 1: right now? You can we not do this every morning

677
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:17,960
Speaker 1: you're not working. I'll tell you this every morning you

678
00:44:18,040 --> 00:44:19,480
Speaker 1: come in here. He said, you found it into the

679
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,879
Speaker 1: World show. You got your makeup? Don't we go to set?

680
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:24,160
Speaker 1: The actually leave? How did you? How did you get

681
00:44:24,160 --> 00:44:26,960
Speaker 1: his job? Honestly? I would you blow? Did you blow someone?

682
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,440
Speaker 1: Did you blow Kevin's? I don't even do that. I

683
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,759
Speaker 1: was just for giggles, they saw, mate, all right, right,

684
00:44:32,760 --> 00:44:35,120
Speaker 1: I got cherry picking there, that's how it happened. All right,

685
00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:38,200
Speaker 1: Yeah you did get fucking cherry pick. Get out, he mate.

686
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:40,320
Speaker 1: You're a piece of sheep. You're jealous, mate, and you

687
00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,839
Speaker 1: need to get a fucking rob all right I do, Yeah,

688
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 1: I need it. I'll once you got talk the fucking

689
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:49,080
Speaker 1: Harry Potter all right, all right, will I'm gonna knock

690
00:44:49,120 --> 00:45:00,880
Speaker 1: on his trail. Here we go. I can't believe his

691
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,719
Speaker 1: bloke's got a fucking doorbell, honest trailer and never saying

692
00:45:03,760 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 1: such a thing. Who is it? Uh? Yeah, it's redg

693
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: I'm in a movie with you, and I just wanted

694
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: to stop buying and introduced myself. So hello, you're not

695
00:45:13,680 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 1: in a fucking movie, mate, Thanks Nige. That's Nige. You're

696
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 1: not gonna like him anyways. Very excited to work with you,

697
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:24,960
Speaker 1: and uh, you know, I just want to start the

698
00:45:25,000 --> 00:45:26,799
Speaker 1: morning on the right foot. All right, have a good

699
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:35,400
Speaker 1: day then you american? No? Are you sound american? M Yeah,

700
00:45:35,640 --> 00:45:39,840
Speaker 1: maybe it's because i've is it Brad Pitt? What's that?

701
00:45:41,000 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: Are you Brad Pitt? I mean I liked this game?

702
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:50,800
Speaker 1: Are you? Uh? Please please leave my trailer daughter, No,

703
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 1: it's just fun. Hold I'm not I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

704
00:45:55,200 --> 00:46:00,560
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Please move away from the inside. Please get

705
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,120
Speaker 1: off the handlebridge. Please you're not on this. God damn moved, Sydney.

706
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,040
Speaker 1: Will you just don't? Are you there? Are you inside?

707
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:10,439
Speaker 1: Not fantastic? I have g K Rowling with mich also

708
00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 1: come inside and discuss some of the character choices. No,

709
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:19,560
Speaker 1: thank you? What don't open the doors? J K Rallings

710
00:46:19,560 --> 00:46:22,440
Speaker 1: outside with me. Please open the door. Hi, it's me.

711
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:25,600
Speaker 1: It's Joe Rowling, just here to just want to talk

712
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,399
Speaker 1: over a few things for the first day. No, thank you,

713
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 1: don't think dot dom. You have to open the door. Jay,

714
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 1: this is say it through the door then, Mrs rall

715
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:45,120
Speaker 1: I hope that's not too much of an ask. Well,

716
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:48,200
Speaker 1: as you know, we're shooting scene forty two today, which

717
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,760
Speaker 1: is someonelliant, brilliant someone in the middle of the script.

718
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: But you know, Harry of course, reveals a secret in

719
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,640
Speaker 1: this and I just wanted to to make sure, because

720
00:46:58,719 --> 00:47:01,960
Speaker 1: it's something we're setting up for a future movie, that

721
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 1: you know that that we're on the same page as

722
00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:08,440
Speaker 1: far as what that secret is going to be. Okay, right, right,

723
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 1: right right right? How about he he uh, he's a

724
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 1: bad guy after all. No, No, I'm not asking you

725
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:22,560
Speaker 1: to brainstorm. You've read. You've read the script and and

726
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:25,040
Speaker 1: also the advanced copy of the new book that I

727
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:27,080
Speaker 1: sent you. You know, so I think we are we

728
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,880
Speaker 1: know where it's heading. I think we're just not totally

729
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:33,719
Speaker 1: sure of how to play the scenes. So what about

730
00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:37,320
Speaker 1: if we keep that part a secret? Where it is

731
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 1: going to be kept a secrets? Right, I have a

732
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:43,040
Speaker 1: great day, but you the actors, still need to know

733
00:47:44,520 --> 00:47:48,000
Speaker 1: where the character is coming from. Of course, I'm pop now, Okay, Well,

734
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,640
Speaker 1: so I thank you again Simmons for coming down to

735
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 1: the SAT and working with us and see and everything.

736
00:47:54,680 --> 00:48:00,279
Speaker 1: We really do appreciate your input on the project. Where

737
00:48:00,320 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 1: you're talking to me, yes, well, yes, I wrote the

738
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: fucking thing, so yes, I again, I just appreciate you

739
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,120
Speaker 1: coming down the progress and whatnot. Are you calling me

740
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:18,759
Speaker 1: miss Simmons? Yes, that's a problem. Yeah, I'm sorry you

741
00:48:18,760 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 1: have being confused with j K. Simmons. JK. My friends

742
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 1: call me Joe K. Simmons, of course, a great American

743
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,800
Speaker 1: actor from Whiplash and the Spider Man movie. What's the

744
00:48:31,239 --> 00:48:35,040
Speaker 1: sid Well? We both have the initials j K, but

745
00:48:35,040 --> 00:48:39,400
Speaker 1: a markedly different last name. You do those um home state,

746
00:48:40,239 --> 00:48:43,360
Speaker 1: but this insurance come out, don't you not? Nope, again,

747
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:46,799
Speaker 1: that's j K. Simmons. I really can't place who I'm

748
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:52,600
Speaker 1: thinking of. All right, thanks very much again for coming in.

749
00:48:52,719 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 1: We're just gonna lay down a couple of voice tracks

750
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,080
Speaker 1: to see if it's a match for what the director

751
00:48:57,160 --> 00:48:59,959
Speaker 1: is looking for. Again, you're reading the part of Peter Parker,

752
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:06,719
Speaker 1: whose uh superhero alias is uh Spiderman. Now, keep in

753
00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 1: mind we're doing things a little different on this one.

754
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:13,839
Speaker 1: Spiderman is Jewish. Uh, So when you read it would

755
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:15,319
Speaker 1: be great if you could just have that in your

756
00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:20,160
Speaker 1: mind's sigh in terms of how to visualize Spiderman. So

757
00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,600
Speaker 1: we'll take it from page three whenever you want to

758
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: jump in. Oh god for skin Uh let's cut it.

759
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:33,120
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, can I can I stop you there? It's okay.

760
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 1: Listen the script took sixteen months to write, so if

761
00:49:36,440 --> 00:49:38,759
Speaker 1: you want to just work from the scroup instead of

762
00:49:38,800 --> 00:49:42,640
Speaker 1: feeling the need to improvise, be wonderful. I'm happy to start.

763
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: You're happy to okay, So starting page three, whenever you're

764
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 1: ready to thank you, oh Man, I just take your

765
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,479
Speaker 1: name first, if you wouldn't mind stating your name first,

766
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: that is going to go to the director. So I'm

767
00:49:56,040 --> 00:50:02,000
Speaker 1: happy named. I'm happy to be okay, whenever you're ready,

768
00:50:02,200 --> 00:50:05,640
Speaker 1: oh Man's four students. If I could just stop you

769
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:11,719
Speaker 1: right there? Um, who's your waging again? I mean I'm

770
00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:17,279
Speaker 1: working with Cia William Morris and uh there I have.

771
00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:23,080
Speaker 1: My agent's name is Chris Alvarado, Amon, William Morris, William

772
00:50:23,080 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 1: Morris in endever, Okay, Um, I think we uh think

773
00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,359
Speaker 1: we got what we needed. So much pleasure. Thank you

774
00:50:33,920 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 1: and I hope to see you soon. Glenn. Can you

775
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:42,959
Speaker 1: send him the next actor? Please? Sending the next actor? Please?

776
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:49,640
Speaker 1: Who are such the only one waiting out here? Maybe

777
00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 1: maybe I could go in. I've been waiting for hours.

778
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 1: I think that the next guy. There's only one guy

779
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:59,640
Speaker 1: out there? All right, Glenn? Could you comment? Do you

780
00:50:59,640 --> 00:51:02,560
Speaker 1: want me to in? Yeah? Can you come in. I've

781
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,560
Speaker 1: been looking out here. That's sorry. Hold on a second,

782
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:08,040
Speaker 1: I'm Glenn. What is it? What do we do? What?

783
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 1: I can't hear you over the walking Oh sorry, there's

784
00:51:10,640 --> 00:51:12,640
Speaker 1: one guy out there waiting. So I was sending that

785
00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:14,920
Speaker 1: guy in. Do you want me to sendiment? Are you

786
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 1: gonna do it? I'll send him in? Alrighty, guys, I

787
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,520
Speaker 1: got the I got the signing sheet here, got one

788
00:51:22,600 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 1: name left in the signing sheet? You want that the

789
00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: clipboard the sign and she? Yeah, okay. You want me

790
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,319
Speaker 1: to send Chuck in? Yeah? I mean he works with us.

791
00:51:34,600 --> 00:51:36,759
Speaker 1: Can you buzz me in? I can't the doors lost

792
00:51:36,840 --> 00:51:39,880
Speaker 1: Chuck on the list. Chuck's not on the list, but

793
00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,279
Speaker 1: Chuck has the list. I got the list right here.

794
00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:46,520
Speaker 1: Bring him? Can you buys me in? Okay, okay, buys

795
00:51:46,600 --> 00:51:52,960
Speaker 1: Chuck in? Yeah? Busbian all right, I'm I'm buzzing Tony in,

796
00:51:53,520 --> 00:52:01,000
Speaker 1: and then Tony's gonna buzz Chuck in. Come on me. Yeah, okay,

797
00:52:01,160 --> 00:52:08,560
Speaker 1: I'm in. Now there's nobody here. Hello, Hello, Hello, Hello,

798
00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:11,319
Speaker 1: can you hear me? Hello? Is anybody here? I got

799
00:52:11,320 --> 00:52:13,360
Speaker 1: the sign in cheat right here? Hello? Oh you know what?

800
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,759
Speaker 1: I think? We all went to each other's rooms. Yeah,

801
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,680
Speaker 1: we did. We buzzed each other into different rooms. All right.

802
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,719
Speaker 1: Excuse me, excuse me. I've been waiting for my audition.

803
00:52:21,760 --> 00:52:31,919
Speaker 1: Time is on it. You're pissing everybody. Get in there, okay, Okay, Jesus,

804
00:52:31,920 --> 00:52:34,359
Speaker 1: this neurotic jew has no chance of booking this role,

805
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 1: not at all, Hollywood. So I'm here for the audition

806
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:43,359
Speaker 1: for Peter Parker for the Spider Man movie. Right, thank

807
00:52:43,400 --> 00:52:45,719
Speaker 1: you for coming in today, Thank you for having me.

808
00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:47,960
Speaker 1: I'm we's gonna roll tape on. You can get this

809
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:52,160
Speaker 1: to the director who's in Switzerland right now. I think

810
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: having lunch. But if you want to go ahead and

811
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:57,439
Speaker 1: state your name character you're reading for, and then we'll

812
00:52:57,440 --> 00:53:02,960
Speaker 1: start on page three. Name is Roland. Okay, you don't

813
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:05,920
Speaker 1: need to say name is. Just say your name first

814
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 1: and last and then the last name. Okay, it's a.

815
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:14,359
Speaker 1: It's rolling. Don't need it's a. It's a. Just when

816
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:18,160
Speaker 1: I ask, say your first and last name, and then

817
00:53:18,160 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: we're gonna start on page three. So Roland, uh, you're

818
00:53:22,080 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 1: here in my trailer. I understand you're gonna be Harry Potter.

819
00:53:26,320 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 1: Harry Potter, now, is that right? I believe my audition

820
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:33,160
Speaker 1: for the rule of Spiderman. Uh is this the same?

821
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: Is this the same? I haven't looked at the script

822
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:40,800
Speaker 1: for for anything except the Spiderman. Look, I was scheduled

823
00:53:40,840 --> 00:53:43,919
Speaker 1: to play every pot Okay, and I guess you did

824
00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:47,480
Speaker 1: such a good job you're a Spiderman audition that you're

825
00:53:47,480 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 1: now taking my role. This is embarrassing. I've read all

826
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:55,200
Speaker 1: the Spiderman comic books. Was embarrassing for me. I'm not

827
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 1: prepared to play Harry Potter. I'm my leota to play

828
00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:03,000
Speaker 1: Spider as ruling. I have a J Rowling with me here.

829
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:09,640
Speaker 1: I know I'm I'm j K. Simmons. There's been a mistake.

830
00:54:09,880 --> 00:54:13,719
Speaker 1: You thought I was j K Rowling Rol. Just just

831
00:54:13,719 --> 00:54:19,320
Speaker 1: just buzz them in roll fantastic. Okay, Now, Mrs Roland,

832
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 1: if you want to, I'm j K Simmons. Look whatever,

833
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:29,640
Speaker 1: I'm a boy. Okay. So you guys are working with

834
00:54:29,680 --> 00:54:32,200
Speaker 1: me today. I mean it's pretty simple. We we tell

835
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 1: real stories that happened to real people who are insured

836
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 1: about disasters that befell them and then farmers did cover them.

837
00:54:41,400 --> 00:54:45,719
Speaker 1: So it's pretty simple. You have no lines um and

838
00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,680
Speaker 1: just looking forward to working with you. Are you sure

839
00:54:48,719 --> 00:54:50,439
Speaker 1: that this is the right trailer for me. I don't

840
00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 1: think this is what I'm supposed to be. I'm supposed

841
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:57,239
Speaker 1: to be spite of it, Peter Parker, my uncle died. Like,

842
00:54:57,320 --> 00:55:02,000
Speaker 1: I don't need to know your secrets? Are you showing?

843
00:55:02,040 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 1: It's a pretty big secret. I like it when they

844
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,400
Speaker 1: save it for the end. Well, I guess I haven't

845
00:55:07,400 --> 00:55:09,600
Speaker 1: seen this. I haven't seen the script for what you're

846
00:55:09,600 --> 00:55:12,160
Speaker 1: talking about. Oh, but I get it as an actor,

847
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,279
Speaker 1: of like you want to keep that secret inside and

848
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:18,560
Speaker 1: then that motivate you and everything. No, i'd like to

849
00:55:18,600 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 1: know the secrets. Oh no, you're telling me j K. Simmons. Uh,

850
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,600
Speaker 1: how to have to act. I'm sorry, but you piste

851
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:30,200
Speaker 1: off of j K. Simmons. We're gonna have to let

852
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 1: you go. But but I don't even think he was

853
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:35,920
Speaker 1: part of the project. I didn't realize he was doing

854
00:55:35,960 --> 00:55:38,239
Speaker 1: spite of it. Well, look, you're an actor, Okay, You're

855
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:40,239
Speaker 1: only given a limited amount of information. You have to

856
00:55:40,239 --> 00:55:44,160
Speaker 1: go based on that. Okay, to be fair. Uh, you've

857
00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,759
Speaker 1: been going to everybody crew in cast telling them that

858
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:50,680
Speaker 1: you're inspired. All right, That production was shut down sixteen

859
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:54,759
Speaker 1: years ago? How long ago? Well, you just said it

860
00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,880
Speaker 1: was sixteen years ago. That can't be true. I'm not

861
00:55:56,880 --> 00:55:59,319
Speaker 1: I'm barely. You're not a boy. You're not a boy,

862
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:03,279
Speaker 1: You're not little boy. Okay, no little boy. You're a

863
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 1: fifty some moon year old man. And we weren't two

864
00:56:05,400 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 1: tight clothes. Hey, guys, guys, Um, James doesn't seem like himself.

865
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:12,360
Speaker 1: I think he's like a different version of himself. So

866
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:13,880
Speaker 1: when he comes into the diner, I'm not gonna do

867
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:17,399
Speaker 1: an intervention with him. I just accept whoever he don't look,

868
00:56:17,880 --> 00:56:19,799
Speaker 1: this is my way. What do you mean? What do

869
00:56:19,800 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 1: you mean by different version? When has there ever been

870
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:25,600
Speaker 1: the same version of James? That's a good question. I

871
00:56:25,680 --> 00:56:27,480
Speaker 1: just I feel like he's a little amped up with

872
00:56:27,520 --> 00:56:29,400
Speaker 1: it right now. I think it's been amplified recently. I

873
00:56:29,440 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 1: think maybe because he didn't get invited to Jess for

874
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: giggles and you know Craig always Craig with there and

875
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 1: killed it Joe. That was unfortunate. But still like, I

876
00:56:38,239 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 1: just gard okay my performance guard. Yeahs not sold out?

877
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:50,239
Speaker 1: He's who could do that? Who's ever done that? No?

878
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:57,680
Speaker 1: Not a single Polly? Sure, come on, he's an icon. MTV. Hey,

879
00:56:57,800 --> 00:57:07,320
Speaker 1: James's James. Hey, James doing another fucking intervention. Oh great, jeez,

880
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:11,879
Speaker 1: you know what, I just don't feel myself today. Let

881
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:15,400
Speaker 1: me be honest, does a does an asshole work like

882
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:21,760
Speaker 1: a gas tanks? Because I just asshole in the bathroom,

883
00:57:21,800 --> 00:57:24,520
Speaker 1: and I think that I was tricked. I had my lips,

884
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:28,960
Speaker 1: I sucked the ass ship came out. He told me

885
00:57:29,040 --> 00:57:31,120
Speaker 1: that's the only way he could go to the bathroom.

886
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:35,280
Speaker 1: And now the guy's gone, not at all, man, And

887
00:57:35,360 --> 00:57:38,240
Speaker 1: you came right back to the table from us. Man,

888
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 1: you came right back to the table. I washed my hands.

889
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 1: You were speeding all over the food when you talk.

890
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:46,760
Speaker 1: I can't eat any of this. How are you not

891
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 1: wearing a face mask? You always wear a face mask?

892
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:52,360
Speaker 1: Why not today? Well it got shipped all over it

893
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:57,040
Speaker 1: in the bathroom. Exactly Does it matter if he's supposed

894
00:57:57,080 --> 00:58:01,120
Speaker 1: to be some kind of goddamn intervention? No, jam, everything's fine.

895
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:04,400
Speaker 1: You know what, I think. Joey's right. Do we even care? Man?

896
00:58:04,520 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: Let it just let it just settle word sou honestly,

897
00:58:07,360 --> 00:58:10,960
Speaker 1: Maybe because we care, we do nothing. How about that?

898
00:58:11,080 --> 00:58:12,840
Speaker 1: I like that because that kind of takes blame away

899
00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:16,280
Speaker 1: from us. I like that, right, they feel like Vanessa

900
00:58:16,320 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 1: would have been able to help. This is this intervention

901
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:22,320
Speaker 1: of the real Sausage Party. Too many dicks on the

902
00:58:22,400 --> 00:58:30,720
Speaker 1: dance floor is gonna eat this? James, we were gonna, James,

903
00:58:30,720 --> 00:58:33,000
Speaker 1: we we're gonna, you know, talk to you today about

904
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 1: why you're ramped up, amped up and zamped up. But

905
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 1: instead we just want to embrace you for who you are,

906
00:58:41,760 --> 00:58:46,600
Speaker 1: what you are, why you are, and say welcome. Yeah, yeah,

907
00:58:46,720 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 1: thank you, because at the end of the day, I mean,

908
00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:56,240
Speaker 1: you're better than Joey. You're not as good as Vanessa,

909
00:58:56,520 --> 00:59:00,880
Speaker 1: but you have a good heart. So with us, and

910
00:59:00,960 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 1: I guess we're all we're all flawed. I'd like to

911
00:59:03,600 --> 00:59:06,720
Speaker 1: hear some positive stuff from you. Otherwise I feel like

912
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:10,200
Speaker 1: a good finished intervention. I see you, and there you

913
00:59:10,240 --> 00:59:14,960
Speaker 1: are and uh, you're we're all here in the same room. Uh,

914
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:17,080
Speaker 1: this is going out as a live reality show, by

915
00:59:17,080 --> 00:59:21,080
Speaker 1: the way, and commercial break. Okay, great, guys, we'll be

916
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:24,560
Speaker 1: back again. All right, really good, really good. Can I

917
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: talk to Craig for a second. Yeah, great job. Joey.

918
00:59:30,240 --> 00:59:31,640
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Man? What am I doing? I'm

919
00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:33,640
Speaker 1: t I thought I thought we'd cured you of these

920
00:59:33,760 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 1: multiple characters. Okay, look, we're go. Look, I just need

921
00:59:36,240 --> 00:59:38,960
Speaker 1: to get a little more emotion. Okay, a little more emotion.

922
00:59:39,000 --> 00:59:44,000
Speaker 1: And here, don't you this is as emotional as I get. Bullshit, bullshit, okay,

923
00:59:44,120 --> 00:59:46,160
Speaker 1: bull true. Okay, I'm talking to a guy named piece

924
00:59:46,160 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 1: of stump the bog here. Okay, once you top that

925
00:59:48,840 --> 00:59:51,919
Speaker 1: top off, put on this little tank top. Just put

926
00:59:51,920 --> 00:59:54,800
Speaker 1: on the tank top. This is tight. Just put it on.

927
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:57,120
Speaker 1: Put it on some weight. I didn't lose that much

928
00:59:57,160 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 1: weight the okay, great man, Okay, put on these sunglasses.

929
01:00:02,720 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 1: Is this just for you? This is just for me?

930
01:00:04,880 --> 01:00:07,520
Speaker 1: And put on these sunglasses here. These are really tight

931
01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 1: as well. Alright, great, okay, Now when you get back

932
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,120
Speaker 1: in there, okay again, why don't you get this new

933
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 1: surfer persona Okay, I think it's gonna had a lot

934
01:00:14,200 --> 01:00:20,959
Speaker 1: of flavor, do you Okay? All right, that's our show

935
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:27,080
Speaker 1: for Ton. You got him into the tight sunglasses. Don't

936
01:00:27,080 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 1: know how you did it. Let's thank all of our outcomes, please,

937
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:33,160
Speaker 1: Craig Kkowski, thank you so much, buddy, my pleasure. It's

938
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:37,200
Speaker 1: always a blast. Hey, keep following me at Kikowski on

939
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:42,600
Speaker 1: the Twitter, see Kikowski on Instagram, and anything gonna resolve

940
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 1: with Craig's list during the pandemic. We're hoping to record

941
01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:47,680
Speaker 1: that final episode at some point and put it out there.

942
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 1: But you know, could you be more in general beyond

943
01:00:52,160 --> 01:00:55,240
Speaker 1: at some point? What's that? Could you be more general

944
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:58,120
Speaker 1: beyond the date of some point? Yeah, I think, uh,

945
01:00:58,480 --> 01:01:02,200
Speaker 1: you know, it'll be in during the pandemic. It will happen,

946
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:07,080
Speaker 1: And yeah, I'm hearing great things and it's uh it's

947
01:01:07,080 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 1: beautiful and testing to the roof. Yeah, We're we're gonna

948
01:01:10,600 --> 01:01:12,960
Speaker 1: come out with something and I think people are really

949
01:01:13,000 --> 01:01:17,200
Speaker 1: looking forward to it. And uh, it's excited. It's excited,

950
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:23,040
Speaker 1: and it's exciting. And Joey Greer, Yes, is Bear Supply

951
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:28,320
Speaker 1: still zooming for We're zooming it up every Wednesday at

952
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:33,400
Speaker 1: seven o'clock every wedvery Wednesday. James, myself, Morgan and Sean

953
01:01:33,560 --> 01:01:38,400
Speaker 1: check it out. It gets weird. And christ thank you

954
01:01:38,440 --> 01:01:41,720
Speaker 1: for that, Joey, Christo Ferado, Oh yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,

955
01:01:41,840 --> 01:01:43,840
Speaker 1: happy to be here. Love doing this stuff with you guys.

956
01:01:44,040 --> 01:01:47,080
Speaker 1: Thanks for everyone who's listening. Um, I I still jump

957
01:01:47,120 --> 01:01:49,120
Speaker 1: onto the subready every now and then. And see people

958
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:52,760
Speaker 1: have been commenting on on what is we're doing during

959
01:01:52,760 --> 01:01:55,560
Speaker 1: this time and that's nice. Also, I've lost like three

960
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 1: followers in the last couple of days. You know, it's like,

961
01:01:57,880 --> 01:01:59,880
Speaker 1: come on, guys, can grow me a bone, you know,

962
01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:02,200
Speaker 1: to make me throw me a bone. That's at Chriss Alvarado.

963
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,479
Speaker 1: You know, at Chriss Alvarado. Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna

964
01:02:05,520 --> 01:02:07,040
Speaker 1: pump your ship up and get at least two of

965
01:02:07,040 --> 01:02:11,840
Speaker 1: those three back at a boy. Thank you appreciate it, James, Well,

966
01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:14,720
Speaker 1: I gotta be honest, it looked like we were slowing

967
01:02:14,720 --> 01:02:16,960
Speaker 1: on reviews, and I thought, maybe it's just because it's

968
01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,760
Speaker 1: a hard time out there. But then surgeons and we've

969
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 1: got this new review from Pretty Pretty Pony, who's called

970
01:02:23,320 --> 01:02:26,439
Speaker 1: in It's a coincidental name that's similar, and it says

971
01:02:26,480 --> 01:02:29,240
Speaker 1: my love for this podcast is so great that since

972
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:31,439
Speaker 1: I'm an Android user, I went out of my way

973
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 1: to reinstall iTunes on my computer just so I could

974
01:02:34,120 --> 01:02:36,080
Speaker 1: leave a review. It goes on and it's long, and

975
01:02:36,080 --> 01:02:39,920
Speaker 1: it's wonderful, great five star review. It just it warms

976
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:43,280
Speaker 1: my heart in scary times to see five star reviews

977
01:02:43,280 --> 01:02:45,880
Speaker 1: pop up of our podcast. Pretty Pony, Thank you for

978
01:02:45,960 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 1: that review, and thank you James for sharing that, and

979
01:02:48,280 --> 01:02:51,280
Speaker 1: I would like to go on record as saying that, UM,

980
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:55,480
Speaker 1: I am exceptionally grateful to my co alchemists for the

981
01:02:55,480 --> 01:03:00,440
Speaker 1: opportunity to put these new episodes out, during which we

982
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:05,160
Speaker 1: uh you guys provided me with. I'm just gonna say

983
01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:08,920
Speaker 1: the most I've cried while laughing moment, which was the

984
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:14,120
Speaker 1: can you buzz me in? I lost my ship and

985
01:03:14,240 --> 01:03:16,720
Speaker 1: uh and I can't explain to anyone what happened. There's

986
01:03:16,760 --> 01:03:19,320
Speaker 1: no way I'll recapture that in explanation. So I just

987
01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:21,320
Speaker 1: want to say thank you for that, and thank you

988
01:03:21,360 --> 01:03:25,960
Speaker 1: to Doug Bam, I'm wonderful engineer, big Be. Thanks to

989
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:30,800
Speaker 1: the fine folks at I Heeart Media, and thank you

990
01:03:30,880 --> 01:03:33,360
Speaker 1: all out there. The patrons of course, but you listeners

991
01:03:33,640 --> 01:03:36,560
Speaker 1: who are non patron we love you, we appreciate you.

992
01:03:36,600 --> 01:03:39,800
Speaker 1: Please write to us, let us know what's going on.

993
01:03:40,800 --> 01:03:43,840
Speaker 1: Right to your name here at Alchemy this dot com.

994
01:03:43,840 --> 01:04:17,840
Speaker 1: That's your name here at dot com. Until next time. Hello, Hello,