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Speaker 1: Okay, so obviously it's holiday season, Happy holiday, Happy holidays.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think that one of the trickiest places

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Speaker 1: to add casual is with your family. Oh yeah, which

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Speaker 1: is kind of ironic because it should be well it

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Speaker 1: should also kind of be where you feel the safest. Oh,

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Speaker 1: maybe you feel too safe. Maybe that's the deal. Maybe

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Speaker 1: like all your walls go down, right. I think that

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Speaker 1: as people get older, though, like you know, they become different,

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Speaker 1: are they just grow into who they are? They have

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Speaker 1: like more individual and so then you're like, wait, you

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Speaker 1: weren't like this when you were younger, like your butting

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Speaker 1: heads about topics you wouldn't have as a kid, or

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Speaker 1: you know whatever. Well, and particularly the holidays, it's like

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Speaker 1: you're going beyond your nuclear family. It's like the wild

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Speaker 1: card is the aunt or the cousin, right that you

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Speaker 1: haven't seen in years? Are you only see once a year? Right?

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Speaker 1: That you don't really know? Right, although there are blood relatives,

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Speaker 1: You're like, we're right, right, we never talk except for

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Speaker 1: this one day. Well, that's actually kind of what I

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Speaker 1: wanted to talk about because I found this article on

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Speaker 1: Bustle dot com and they talk about the funny like

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Speaker 1: but predictable conversations you will get in every single year

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Speaker 1: at the holidays, like whether it's Thanksgiving, Christmas, whatever it

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Speaker 1: is that you can just count on they're going to

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Speaker 1: happen universally, universally and like these maybe laugh so hard

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Speaker 1: because this is genuinely how it goes. One of the

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Speaker 1: top ones they said was like when you walk in

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Speaker 1: the door, you know, the first question is going to

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Speaker 1: be like what's your relationship status? Like are you dating anyone?

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Speaker 1: Specifically if you're a single person? Right, It's I mean,

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Speaker 1: it's it's a good guess, the icebreaker that can lead

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Speaker 1: to so much conversation, and it's a yes or no question.

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Speaker 1: So it's and it's so unavoidable, and you know, a

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Speaker 1: crazy on Cindy is like the last one you want

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Speaker 1: to like, well, like what you're saying, you see this

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Speaker 1: person one time a year and then you're like they're like, hey,

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Speaker 1: are you dating anyone? And you're like, how deep do

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Speaker 1: you want to go? Aunt, Syndy, where do you want

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Speaker 1: me to start an sidy? Yep? How's your sex life?

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Speaker 1: An It's like because that where are you trying to

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Speaker 1: take it? How honest you want me to ask you

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Speaker 1: questions just because you're married to me and I don't

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Speaker 1: have some questions loaded for you, lady, imagine. So we

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Speaker 1: just tell people how to act casual. That's like, I'm

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Speaker 1: not act casual. Listen, Cindy. Um. Yeah, they say that

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Speaker 1: their grandmother there, This girl said her grandmother will casually

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Speaker 1: ask why aren't you dating anyone? And she says, um,

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Speaker 1: because I work fifty hours a week. I haven't fifty God,

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Speaker 1: that would be great, and I haven't found anyone who

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Speaker 1: appreciates sloths as much as I do. And then your

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Speaker 1: aunt we chime in, well are you looking like? Then

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Speaker 1: they want to analyze how you're doing it all that stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: when was the last time you went on a date? Aunt?

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Speaker 1: Syndy's probably been grand right, so she doesn't know how

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Speaker 1: hard it is out there. It is hard out there

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Speaker 1: for a pimp. Oh my god. I think people should

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Speaker 1: just start responding with like their last bumble date though,

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Speaker 1: and help. Yeah, just educate them it's tricky, and then

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Speaker 1: maybe they won't ask next year. Yeah, you just have

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Speaker 1: to make them so uncomforable. Slowly back like it's like

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Speaker 1: so normal, You're like, oh yeah, and then this happened

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Speaker 1: next thing I knew. I was like tied up at

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Speaker 1: the closet. You know, you said too much into family,

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Speaker 1: Like in a family conversation when the reaction is oh,

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Speaker 1: that's like thank you coming. No, not that's like thank

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Speaker 1: you next, let me get out of here bye. Um.

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Speaker 1: But the other problem is is like then you do

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Speaker 1: get in a relationship and the question immediately becomes when

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Speaker 1: are you getting married? And you get married and they're

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Speaker 1: like when are you having kids? Right, it's like, get

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Speaker 1: out of my life? What did you say when you're like, listen,

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Speaker 1: I'm gay? Did you drop it like that? Um? You know,

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Speaker 1: I don't know that I ever had like a big

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Speaker 1: like sexuality reveal. I mean, I obviously told my family,

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Speaker 1: my nuclear family, but I don't know that I got

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Speaker 1: just like let everyone else sort of figure it out

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Speaker 1: for osmosis. But the funny thing about the relationship talk

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Speaker 1: is that, you know, something that I said to my

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Speaker 1: mom not that long ago, when I was talking to

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Speaker 1: her about like wanting to be better communicators with each other,

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Speaker 1: was that it bums me out that she never asks

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Speaker 1: me if I'm dating. Right, She'll be like how Sarah.

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Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, she's good. She dating anybody, you know.

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Speaker 1: It's like everybody, every friend of mine that she knows

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Speaker 1: is single. She uncomfortable. I think it's just a comfortability,

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Speaker 1: you know. And then she'll be like the few times

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Speaker 1: that she does say something, she phrases it like it

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Speaker 1: do you have a special friendly seeing a special friend.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, come on, mom, you can say boyfriend. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: That's tough though, because in our parents day and age, like,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't as spoken about as in like comfortable as

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Speaker 1: you know we are with people being gay, and so

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Speaker 1: they probably just don't know what to say. I actually

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Speaker 1: have a funny story, please tell them. So this was

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Speaker 1: a few years ago. My parents came to visit me

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Speaker 1: for her forty birthday party. And at the time I

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Speaker 1: was living with my boyfriend. And when I went home,

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Speaker 1: that was like in January, and when I went home

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Speaker 1: for I think I was home for like fourth or July.

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Speaker 1: My aunt was the manager at the local bank and

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Speaker 1: I went in to do something and she said, um,

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Speaker 1: your your mom told me she she loved spending time

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Speaker 1: with your roommate. And I just let the conversation unfold.

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Speaker 1: I got home, I was like, Mom, why on earth

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Speaker 1: did you tell her? Like, call air my roommate, you

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Speaker 1: know damn well that she knows that he and my roommate. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you're the one who looks like

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Speaker 1: a fool. So she was like, you're right, You're right,

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Speaker 1: But you know, she just has a hard time and

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Speaker 1: it's a learning curve for her. You know. The biggest

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Speaker 1: thing I took away from that conversation, what is that

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Speaker 1: you say aunt and not aunt? You know recently some

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Speaker 1: friends and friends that might have been making fun of

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Speaker 1: you for that I say aunt. I say, I think,

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Speaker 1: I say interchangeably interesting. But just depends on the day. Well,

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Speaker 1: I also I think it depends on who like the

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Speaker 1: name that follows it. Some people are aunt, some people

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Speaker 1: are aunt. So like, are you called aunts? You if

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Speaker 1: you call them an aunt, does that mean that you're

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Speaker 1: actually closer to them or not as close? Or is

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Speaker 1: it just think? It's just however I learned it, you know,

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Speaker 1: But I did catch myself when I was just referring

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Speaker 1: to an aunt slash aunt in general. I said aunt earlier,

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Speaker 1: So I think as a general term, I say aunt.

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Speaker 1: What I want to take a survey? How can we

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Speaker 1: do Let's do a poll on Velvetsedge Instagram. Okay, fine,

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Speaker 1: I'll do I'll do a poll when this podcast comes out.

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Speaker 1: Or is it AUNT or AUNT? I mean I think

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Speaker 1: it depends on what part of the country you live in,

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Speaker 1: which is very interesting that you say both. Well, I

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Speaker 1: really want to pick your mom's brain about that. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm from Virginia, so it's like a north south east

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Speaker 1: thing has to be it. Okay, this one's hilarious because

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Speaker 1: this there is nothing more true. They said the what

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Speaker 1: is technology even talk? Just basically like the point of

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Speaker 1: when you're with your family, there's always something funny about technology, right. Oh,

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Speaker 1: my favorite thing is the the the WiFi password. What

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Speaker 1: do you mean my parents? It's still the one on

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Speaker 1: the bottom of the router and it's like forty seven numbers.

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Speaker 1: You can't it's printed so small you can't say it.

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Speaker 1: I know they can't read it. Okay, can I tell

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Speaker 1: you the secret? What mine is? Still that? Wait? Wait

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Speaker 1: at your house or your parents, and anytime anyone comes

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Speaker 1: over and asked me for the whip fast password, I'm like, fuck,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna come over and change it. Literally,

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Speaker 1: the guy I'm dating came over for the first time

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Speaker 1: that like he had been there and he was waiting

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Speaker 1: for me to get ready. All of this sounds about

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Speaker 1: so he's like, oh whatever, he's sitting there there and

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Speaker 1: he's like, hey, what's your WiFi pass right? And I

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Speaker 1: was like, it's like an embarrassing beginning of a relationship

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Speaker 1: conversation given threes file also like he's super organized and

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Speaker 1: on top of things, and like, you know, that's a

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Speaker 1: place of struggle for me. Pretty openly talk about that.

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Speaker 1: But so not only is my password still that number,

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Speaker 1: it's at the bottom of this like box of other ships.

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Speaker 1: I have to like pull it all out, and I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, he's totally gonna break up.

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Speaker 1: You know, A good trick if you don't want to

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Speaker 1: change it is to take a picture of it and

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Speaker 1: have it on your cell phone as a favorite. But

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Speaker 1: then I have so many as a favorite technology. She

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Speaker 1: doesn't have a phone that takes pictures. Still has a

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Speaker 1: flip phone, yes, and she never turns it on unless

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Speaker 1: she's like wants to use it. And if she has

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Speaker 1: it on, if it rings, she doesn't know that it's

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Speaker 1: her phone because she doesn't recognize it. And someone's like, man,

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Speaker 1: you're ringing and her computer. You should see her play solitaire.

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Speaker 1: I mean, she's so fast. It's the only thing. My

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Speaker 1: parents are pretty good. My mom does this funny thing

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Speaker 1: where she talks like she'll be like, oh, well, I

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Speaker 1: was sending you that She said, I sent you that email?

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Speaker 1: Did you not get it? And I'm like, you didn't

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Speaker 1: send me an email. We'll have a full back and

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Speaker 1: forth and she's like, I sent it earlier today and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, are you talking about the text conversation that

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Speaker 1: we had, Like we've had a full conversation via text,

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Speaker 1: but she always goes, I emailed you, like there's a

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Speaker 1: huge difference. It's so funny. I mean, I can send

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Speaker 1: my mom an email like this is what I want

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Speaker 1: for Christmas, like a link to Amazon, and somehow she'll

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Speaker 1: buy the knockoff or like something that's just like a

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Speaker 1: slightly different version. I'm like, I sent you a link.

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Speaker 1: She disused as reference. She's not good with computers. Do

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Speaker 1: you have any vegetarians in your family? Um? I don't

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Speaker 1: think currently. I mean I I've had a stint as

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Speaker 1: a vegetarian, like in high school and college. You did, yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I got it really fat because all I ate

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Speaker 1: was like friends hearts, yeah, of carbs um. But in

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Speaker 1: this article the girl talks about, you know, it's like

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Speaker 1: you sit down at the table, especially, I feel like

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Speaker 1: a Thanksgiving for someone because it's like a it's a

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Speaker 1: holiday about about eating basically. But if you sit down

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Speaker 1: at the table and like there's anyone with a different

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Speaker 1: preference of food, like I eat vegetarian, there's gonna be

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Speaker 1: a comment about it, Like, without a doubt, it's going

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Speaker 1: to be a part of the conversation. She talks about.

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Speaker 1: I think this is hilarious that she wasn't actually a vegetarian,

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Speaker 1: but she just didn't eat that much meat, you know,

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Speaker 1: as a kid. And then still to this day, every holiday,

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Speaker 1: one of her random uncles that she only sees once

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Speaker 1: a year will say, see her like picking up a

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Speaker 1: piece of meat and go, oh, you're not a vegetarian anymore.

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Speaker 1: It's like the only thing he knows about mine is

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Speaker 1: like I do gluten free, dairy free, and so like,

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Speaker 1: think about that on Thanksgiving. It's pretty tough. I don't

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Speaker 1: like I love stuffings. I'd break it. It's like I

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Speaker 1: just know I'm not going to feel as good. But

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Speaker 1: it's like some days it's worth it, and some food

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Speaker 1: is worth it, so you just do it. But it's

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Speaker 1: always a point in conversation, like when people are watching

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Speaker 1: me make a plate, like I'm being judged. It's so funny,

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Speaker 1: like what it's like what you want? Hey, you do

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Speaker 1: you do? Yeah? I mean I'm not judging what you're

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Speaker 1: putting on your plate. Or we're all doing it. I

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Speaker 1: guess we are. Ship. The one thing that they recommend

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Speaker 1: you do not bring up with your family this politics.

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Speaker 1: You would think that that is a given, but I

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Speaker 1: swear every holiday someone in my family says some comment.

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Speaker 1: It always comes up. Yeah, it always comes up. And look,

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Speaker 1: there's particularly like everything is so politics is so ubiquitous

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Speaker 1: in our lives now. It's you know, we just live

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Speaker 1: in a really political sphere at this point, so it's

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Speaker 1: hard to escape it. But if you want things to

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Speaker 1: remain casual this year, like highly recommend shy away from it,

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Speaker 1: or find the people that you sort of agree with

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Speaker 1: and go in the corner and talk about it so

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Speaker 1: that you can get deeper into your your own beliefs

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Speaker 1: and like understand like why you're gravitating towards certain politicians

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Speaker 1: or you know, theories or ideas or whatever. But don't

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Speaker 1: try to challenge people. It's the quickest way to ruin

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Speaker 1: a holiday. You have to be very careful about any

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Speaker 1: conversation about it. I just stay away. I had to

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Speaker 1: learn my list in the hard way, and one year

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Speaker 1: got into a huge knockdown drag out with some family

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Speaker 1: members and then I was like, I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: do that. I was young. I thought it was worth

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Speaker 1: it to fight with them and try to prove my

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Speaker 1: point was so wrong. Well, you know what's funny. I

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Speaker 1: feel like my dad's the one that always started it

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Speaker 1: because he knows how to get under my skin, you know.

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Speaker 1: And then my mom's like, we're not doing this, we're

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Speaker 1: not doing this, and I'm just like trying to be like,

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Speaker 1: just it doesn't even need to be political. I just

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Speaker 1: want people to be good people, be nice to each other. Like,

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Speaker 1: but everyone's from a different generation and we're not going

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Speaker 1: to Everyone has different priorities and that's why we can

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Speaker 1: all vote right and podcast and take it to the ballad. Bitch.

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Speaker 1: This podcast is also not going to get political, So

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Speaker 1: I'm just going to cut us off right. Exercise your rights. Amen. Um.

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Speaker 1: She also she just talks about a couple of other things,

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Speaker 1: but um, what are you doing with your live talk?

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Speaker 1: Obviously the money talk with the gift that of Kristen

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Speaker 1: wigg and Bridesmaids. It says help me, I'm help me,

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Speaker 1: I'm poor. You don't want to talk about that. I'm thinking, like,

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Speaker 1: as you're going through this like me, I think the

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Speaker 1: best approach is when someone's like, what are you doing

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Speaker 1: with your life? You're supponsed to be like, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing with yours? Just ask the question, right, just

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Speaker 1: throw it right back out the echo nothing you we

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Speaker 1: just yeah you, and then they have to answer. There's like,

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Speaker 1: that's going to be my approach this year. How is

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Speaker 1: it when you're leaving your family? Are you come from

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Speaker 1: a pretty big family? Right? No? I just I'm just

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Speaker 1: have one sister and oh that's right. Okay, Okay. Do

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Speaker 1: you guys have big holiday get togethers? Yeah? Christmas. My

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Speaker 1: family for I mean as long as I can remember,

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Speaker 1: has hosted a Christmas Day thing where it's like extended family,

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Speaker 1: like a big deal things. Yeah. I mean people would

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Speaker 1: come from far away and it was like a stressful thing,

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Speaker 1: like because we would wake up at like five am.

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Speaker 1: Santa Head calm, we'd open all our presents. Then as kids,

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Speaker 1: we would go back to bed. Well, my dad would

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Speaker 1: always look a big breakfast and then we'd go back

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Speaker 1: to bed or play with our toys or whatever it was,

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Speaker 1: and my mother would turn into like the bionic beast

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Speaker 1: because like everything would have to be cleaned and every

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Speaker 1: like the turkey is not going to be ready, and

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Speaker 1: like she just turned to get this like crazy person.

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Speaker 1: It's like the day I liked my mom the least

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Speaker 1: was on Christmas. After I should have been so thrilled

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Speaker 1: at the gifts she'd given me, you know, but you're

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Speaker 1: trying to go take an nap and she's like cleaning

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Speaker 1: right upstairs. Right. Um. It's so much pressure though. It's

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Speaker 1: kind of like how what happens on weddings. I feel

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Speaker 1: like people go in with the best intentions and then

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Speaker 1: it just gets so stressful because you're so worried about

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Speaker 1: how everyone else is going to feel. That's holidays, right,

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Speaker 1: Like you're just going especially they're coming to your house. Well,

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Speaker 1: you're anticipating all these fucking questions. You know we're coming,

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Speaker 1: and you don't want to have them. Look, if you

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Speaker 1: really care that much to like, let on Cindy know

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Speaker 1: all of us about you, you'd have a relationship with her, yeah,

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Speaker 1: or you're probably just different and like older. We know,

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Speaker 1: whatever it is, So what do you talk about them?

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Speaker 1: That makes it? Like? How do you? Like? I think

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Speaker 1: you just have to do the surface conversations. And then

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Speaker 1: I did about your dogs and stuff? Yeah, keep it cash,

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Speaker 1: like I mean, was it news? Weather? Sports? Those are

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Speaker 1: always really safe topics. Can't you just want I mean,

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Speaker 1: can't you read a couple of articles or something, because

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Speaker 1: just get caught up. Yeah, I'll watch one game and

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Speaker 1: that's what I'm gonna talk about. Okay, Well I'll just

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Speaker 1: tell you this l s U my football team, you know,

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Speaker 1: and tell you we're awesome this year, so you can

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Speaker 1: use that. I did watch the Bama Mississippi State game

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Speaker 1: the other day. Did you see the No? I only

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Speaker 1: watchet hit by the get knocked out? No, but I

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Speaker 1: probably should look that. I should look it up funny

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Speaker 1: or like, I mean, she's not knock the fun scary

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Speaker 1: Apparently like she couldn't no pear in her eyes, remove

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Speaker 1: her arms and lights for a minute. She had like

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Speaker 1: left with a black eye on a stretcher. Oh my god. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: she was taking a photos on the side of the

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Speaker 1: field and like hit her camera into her face. That's

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Speaker 1: what she gets for trying to be interested in base Yeah. Um, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So I found another article on BuzzFeed that kind of

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Speaker 1: talks about like this is a little serious and obviously

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Speaker 1: we're acting casual, but like just to say, like be

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Speaker 1: in tune with yourself and know, like what are your

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Speaker 1: triggers when you're going to meet family, and like set

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Speaker 1: yourself up to win, like if you can identify. Okay,

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Speaker 1: every year, Aunt Cindy asked me about dating and like

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Speaker 1: dating is really sad for me and it's really hard

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Speaker 1: or whatever. I just went through a really bad breakup.

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Speaker 1: Have a have something in mind, like a specific sentence

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Speaker 1: that you're going to say that's like your go to

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Speaker 1: and that way you're not so thrown off. You could

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Speaker 1: you could come up with a good like lie, what

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Speaker 1: would you say? So what would you say? I'm like, chee,

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Speaker 1: are you dating anyone? Well, I mean I haven't had

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Speaker 1: chance to think about it, but I would say I'm

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Speaker 1: in a throuble. Oh, She's not gonna ask any more

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Speaker 1: questions unless I've started dating a couple. Yes, Aunt Cindy,

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Speaker 1: I'm in a throuble. You know, they've been married for

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Speaker 1: twenty years. Life had gotten boring. Hey, let me spicing up. Wow,

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Speaker 1: it's going great. That's probably the last time. And Cindy

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Speaker 1: asked you a question. We're thinking about adopting. They also say, obviously,

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Speaker 1: maybe when you're around your family, you would want to

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Speaker 1: be having some cocktails, and so to be careful to

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Speaker 1: get too drunk, because like, Lord knows what's coming out

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Speaker 1: of your mouth. Right, I had we had one Christmas wore.

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Speaker 1: My sister picked me up and she said, she picked

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Speaker 1: me up from the airport, and she said, do you

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Speaker 1: want the good news or the bad news? And I said,

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Speaker 1: I don't care. You're gonna give me both of them anyway.

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Speaker 1: And she said, well, the good news is I'm pregnant,

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Speaker 1: and the bad news is you're gonna have to help

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Speaker 1: me cover it up for Christmas. So like I was

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Speaker 1: making her fake cocktails, all fake cocktails. Wow, because she

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Speaker 1: knew if people saw her not drinking, it would be

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Speaker 1: so over. Yeah, she wasn't ready to tell. She was

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Speaker 1: not ready to tell. Now, Wow, I like this one.

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Speaker 1: Pretend you're an anthropologist, so like that you're just really

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Speaker 1: curious and you're just getting facts, like to sit there

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Speaker 1: and just like if Aunt Cindy's telling you story, to

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Speaker 1: be like fascinating, asked about like ancestors and stuff, people

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Speaker 1: that like you've never even heard their name, just act

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Speaker 1: like oh god, I mean that would be great combo.

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Speaker 1: And it keeps it off of your dating life. Yes,

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Speaker 1: this says seriously. One to get some distance from intense

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Speaker 1: family ship is to pretend that you're doing an anthropological

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Speaker 1: study on how this group of people celebrates the holidays,

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Speaker 1: observing closely but keeping an emotional distance so that whatever

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Speaker 1: shenanigans erupt, they can't get under your skin. It's just

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Speaker 1: a light and playful way to take family stuff and stride.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty funny. I mean, if you think about you're like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna observe. Well, I think people would think

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Speaker 1: something was up if I was quiet and yeah, well

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Speaker 1: no you ask questions. Oh yeah, I guess here's another one.

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Speaker 1: Pretend that you're just meeting these people for the first time,

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Speaker 1: like they're not your family. You know, you're not angry,

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Speaker 1: you're not resentful, you're not piste off, You're just like, hey,

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Speaker 1: how you doing right. How's how's that? Well? I mean

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Speaker 1: you consider throw some of those annoying questions back at them,

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Speaker 1: because truthfully, I think why these all these like top

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Speaker 1: level basic questions exist is because they're just trying to

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Speaker 1: get to know you. You know, they're just trying to

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Speaker 1: like dive into your life. I also think no one

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Speaker 1: wants to sit there in silence, so you're just kind

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Speaker 1: of awkwardly trying to navigate a conversation, you know, and

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Speaker 1: it is hard for people you don't really know that well,

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Speaker 1: but like you're related to. My go to is just

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Speaker 1: like try and keep it light and fun and like

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Speaker 1: get everyone to laugh because people were like, you might

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Speaker 1: not remember the stressful conversations. You'll just remember having had

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Speaker 1: stressful conversationally. Like funny moments are what people will remember

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Speaker 1: about the holidays. Yeah, that's true, but funny memories are

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Speaker 1: always Yeah, and you could just schedule a massage for

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Speaker 1: after get that, South Carolina, honey. Well, I hope that

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Speaker 1: everyone can keep casual with their families, and we have

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Speaker 1: a lot coming up. It's like Thanksgiving into Christmas into

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Speaker 1: New Year's. If you do well, if you do New

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Speaker 1: Years with your family, not me, this year either what

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Speaker 1: are you doing? We'll talk about that after too. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we'll be back next week with the new at Casual.

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Speaker 1: Good Luck everyone with your family, chip, good luck to you.

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Speaker 1: Are you gonna be here for Thanksgiving? Okay? Parents are coming?

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Speaker 1: Oh okay, okay, okay, we'll celebrate. Okay, good bye, and

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Speaker 1: remember to always act casual. So that was a really

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Speaker 1: bad ending. I'm going to try that again. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: we're going to keep the whole thing. I kind of like, fine, everybody,

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Speaker 1: just remember always casually. Bye. Thank you for listening to

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Speaker 1: this week's episode of at Casual on Velvet's Edge. We'll

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Speaker 1: be back every Friday with your Act Casual topic of

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Speaker 1: the week. Remember to subscribe, rate, and review this podcast

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00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,919
Speaker 1: to ensure that you are the first to hear each episode. Also,

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00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,160
Speaker 1: we want to hear from you. What are some things

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00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:47,359
Speaker 1: that make you want to scream act casual or just

410
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 1: topics you think we need to discuss. Email us at

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Speaker 1: act Casual at velvets edge dot com and always remember

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Speaker 1: act Casual.