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Speaker 1: This week at the Parlor Live Comedy Club from Apollo

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Speaker 1: Live Tony Rock July twenty fourth through the twenty sixth.

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Speaker 1: Tickets are available at Parlor Live dot com or called

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Speaker 1: four two five, two eight nine seven thousand the twenty

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Speaker 1: five Hello. Hi is Michelle in. This is Michelle. Hi Michelle.

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Speaker 1: My name is Tyson. I'd like to call and formally

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Speaker 1: introduce myself. I'm your new boss. How are you. Hi, Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm great. I'm great. I've I've heard a lot of

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Speaker 1: great things. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, as you know, they

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Speaker 1: made some staffing changes and you've been on maternity leave

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Speaker 1: for the last month, so I think you're the only

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Speaker 1: one in the office that I haven't officially met yet.

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Speaker 1: So I just called to say, yeah, well, it's nice

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Speaker 1: to finally talk to you. Yeah, I'm looking forward to

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Speaker 1: meeting you in person. Listen, I'm just going to cut

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Speaker 1: straight to the point. You didn't really have a baby,

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Speaker 1: did you. What. I'm not joking. I'm sorry, I'm not

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Speaker 1: joking one bit. Let's just cut the bullet here. I

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Speaker 1: was brought in to fix things in the company. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of people taking advantage of the system, and

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Speaker 1: I think that you're one of them. Are you being

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Speaker 1: serious right now? The thing about me that you're going

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Speaker 1: to find out is I don't play any games. I

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Speaker 1: get straight to the point, and I think you faked

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Speaker 1: the whole baby thing to take some time off. I

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Speaker 1: do you think I faked my baby? Yes, maternity leaves

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Speaker 1: sounds great three months off right. I'd fake it too

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Speaker 1: if I could, but I don't think people believe me

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Speaker 1: if I tried to act pregnant. You know, I'm sorry,

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Speaker 1: this is like, this is like crazy. I'm gonna let

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Speaker 1: you know that this call is being recorded, so i'd

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Speaker 1: advise you. I'd advise you not to lie to me.

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Speaker 1: You're calling to tell me that you think that the

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Speaker 1: baby I had his fake. I'm calling to tell you

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Speaker 1: that I didn't think you had a baby at all.

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Speaker 1: You don't think I had a baby at all. I

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Speaker 1: think you faked your pregnancy. So you could take three

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Speaker 1: listen to me to send you the birth certificates. You

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Speaker 1: could send me pictures of anybody's baby. I could go

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Speaker 1: on Facebook right now and find tons of babies that

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Speaker 1: I could try to pass off as my own by

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Speaker 1: sending in a picture. I'm sorry, this is this is unbelievable.

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Speaker 1: You're telling me that you don't think that I actually

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Speaker 1: had a baby. You called me to when I'm on

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Speaker 1: maternity leave, trying to take care of my new child.

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Speaker 1: You're calling to tell me that you don't think that

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Speaker 1: the baby that I gave birth to is real. Michelle,

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Speaker 1: I'll give this to you. You're a good actress, okay,

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Speaker 1: because that all sounded very that all sounded very convincing.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely no right to be making this phone call right now.

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Speaker 1: You're avoiding the question and you sound nervous. So to me,

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Speaker 1: you're avoiding the question. What question I asked if I

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Speaker 1: actually had a baby? Correct? Did you fake your yes?

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Speaker 1: I did have a baby? Right now you're lying to

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Speaker 1: me you're tall. I'm gonna bring my baby into the office,

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Speaker 1: and then after that, I'm gonna sue Sole Company and

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Speaker 1: you for everything it's worth. Well, you happy, You can

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Speaker 1: bring a baby in all you want. It's not going

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Speaker 1: to prove that that's your baby. You could have borrowed

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Speaker 1: it from a friend and you could try to pass

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Speaker 1: it off. Are you kidding? You are off more on.

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Speaker 1: I have no idea how you have any job at all, Fleak. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'm just telling you right now. If you want to

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Speaker 1: keep your job, you're gonna have to prove to me

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Speaker 1: that you had a baby. And the only way to

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Speaker 1: prove to me that that actually is your baby is

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Speaker 1: for me to see at breastfeed. And so on Monday morning,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna need you to be in my office and

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Speaker 1: breastfeed that baby in front of me. You are a

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Speaker 1: disgusting pervert. And I'm calling the cops. So let me.

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Speaker 1: I'm recording this right now, and I have it on record.

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Speaker 1: You are refusing to breastfeed in front of me. That's

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Speaker 1: a little yourself. That's a little harsh, don't you think. No,

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Speaker 1: I don't throw yourself off a bridge. I'm a human.

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Speaker 1: If you cut me, I bleed. You are not a human.

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Speaker 1: You are a monster. Actually, this is Jewel from Brook

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Speaker 1: and Jewel in the morning. I'm moving on two point

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Speaker 1: five doing a phone tap on you. What It's a joke.

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Speaker 1: Your coworker Lisa set you up. Oh my god, she

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Speaker 1: said she wanted to prank you before you got back

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Speaker 1: to the office. Oh my god, Oh my god, this

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Speaker 1: was this was a joke. Yes, it was all a joke,

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Speaker 1: Yes it was. Oh my god. I still think you

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Speaker 1: should die. Oh Wake up every morning with Jubl Funk

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Speaker 1: five