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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode about me. There's COVID nineteen

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Speaker 1: edition and I'm your host, Kevin Pom. I guess that

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Speaker 1: Ken Well, I'd say you need to blue youth in

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Speaker 1: a better future if you want to smile ever again.

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Speaker 1: But I digress. Let's meet. They're alco to show me

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Speaker 1: in no particular order, say Lord of James Heeney, Johnny Tunicks,

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Speaker 1: how often would you say you clean your inner ears

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Speaker 1: my inner ears? Uh? I would say many times a day,

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Speaker 1: but usually I just used my pinky fingers. If I

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Speaker 1: want a day no, no, no, that's that's that's regular

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Speaker 1: day out of the shower. I use cute tips. Oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I would advise you against que tips. Also they can

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Speaker 1: cause damage. Hey it's Jack Luway, new fan FAIV. What

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Speaker 1: can you tell us about your least favorite abor growing up?

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Speaker 1: I don't know if this is controversial. I just lived

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Speaker 1: next to white people in my whole life, so that

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Speaker 1: you're always like the one black family in the suburbs.

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Speaker 1: So it's kind of like, okay, but you don't go

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Speaker 1: over to their houses. But it's like I remember one

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Speaker 1: time my mom was like, don't eat over there, just

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Speaker 1: don't go just whatever, you just don't eat, but you

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Speaker 1: can go say hi. So that was but I had

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Speaker 1: pretty good neighbors other than that, nice, very nice. Other

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Speaker 1: than the angry white people. It was okay. Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: turned out decent. Yeah, look out, it's Craigkowski Coco. When

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Speaker 1: movie theaters open near you capacity, are you going? No, sir,

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Speaker 1: I am not, And I am heartbroken about that. Like

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Speaker 1: even arc Light, which is humongous and where I would

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Speaker 1: normally go, I'm just I'm not there yet. Yeah, I'm

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Speaker 1: not there yet. I don't want to be in an

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Speaker 1: enclosed space with recirculating air with anyone right now. And

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Speaker 1: I go to the movies literally eight times a month,

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Speaker 1: maybe twice a week. You know, I'm a movie goer, right,

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Speaker 1: And so would that rule out airplanes for you as well?

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Speaker 1: Speaking airplanes enclosed spaces with circulating air, although they insist

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Speaker 1: they have the circulating airs similar to a hospital. Most

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Speaker 1: of the airlines are claiming that now, so it's all

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Speaker 1: it's all deadly poisonous. Can't we just develop a fish

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Speaker 1: bowl helmet that has an air pack on it. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna help us with COVID, but we're ruining the planet anyways.

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Speaker 1: It will help us breathe forever after? Does it have

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Speaker 1: to be a fish bowl? That was something that my

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Speaker 1: head will fit inside of the typical astronaut helmet. Like,

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Speaker 1: let's just go there, let's start now, and then we

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Speaker 1: can go to the movies. James, when you say we,

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Speaker 1: I think that's you. I think you're the one who

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Speaker 1: has to develop that prototype. Ladies, we've got Chris Avarado

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Speaker 1: on trombone blisz even in cut off jeans. Favorite dish

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Speaker 1: at a Chinese restaurant. I feel so much pressure, so

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna have to back away from this there. I

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Speaker 1: just love I love Chinese food. I love Chinese food.

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Speaker 1: Don't you have a great spot Kevin Downtown or something

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Speaker 1: like that? Or they do the slippery shrimp? Slippery shrimp?

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Speaker 1: What makes it slip just down your gullet? Oh, hold on,

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Speaker 1: I like that slippery shrimp? What makes it slip down

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Speaker 1: your golet? And last, but check your pants for a

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Speaker 1: load if you think of least it's Joey Greer Steve,

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Speaker 1: have you ever had a dream of either being arrested

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Speaker 1: or accused of murder? Yeah? I was watching bench watching

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Speaker 1: Sons of Anarchy because you lost ahead. I got problems

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Speaker 1: due it was I was second and as I'm watching it,

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Speaker 1: I'm I watched like three seasons just one sitting because

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Speaker 1: I got lack of one on. And I walked away

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Speaker 1: from that thinking that I was in a crime family

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Speaker 1: and I was like, oh this ship, dude, I got

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Speaker 1: all this. Oh my god. Then I had a dream

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Speaker 1: where I was a part of some kind of syndicate

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Speaker 1: organized crime family that we killed somebody, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: all right, I live with that. Now that's my life.

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Speaker 1: I gotta just it is the weirdest thing when it

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Speaker 1: happens in a dream, and it's so real because if

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Speaker 1: if your conscious mind is still working on normal thoughts,

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Speaker 1: it is like what, how did this? Why? Why is

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Speaker 1: this now? But also if our listeners could see Joey,

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Speaker 1: he literally looks like a cast member from Since of Anarchy.

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Speaker 1: Right now, somebody get my motorcycle out of out of

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Speaker 1: my house. That is wait a minute, is this a dream?

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Speaker 1: Oh no, all right, let's do a damn show. Sal

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Speaker 1: we shall we. All of our scene suggestions are gathered

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Speaker 1: from your listener emails. Are atron v I ps to

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Speaker 1: become a patron supporter of the show and enjoy exclusive

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Speaker 1: content and other perks. Just head on over to patreon

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Speaker 1: dot com slash alchemy this. If you'd like to submit

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Speaker 1: a scene suggestion via old timmy email, please write to

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Speaker 1: the podcast at your name here, locoy this dot com.

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Speaker 1: That's your name here, cove me this dot scene one

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Speaker 1: comes from patroon v I P. Hailey, who wrote, Hi everyone,

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Speaker 1: I'm a newish Patreon member and I wanted to say

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Speaker 1: thanks for all the sweet bonus content. I really like

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Speaker 1: the sound effects episode and twitch hangs. This is my

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Speaker 1: scene suggestion. Since Quarantine started, my boy boyfriend and I

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Speaker 1: have been spending a lot of time on our third

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Speaker 1: floor balcony, which overlooks a twenty four hour dinosaur themed

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Speaker 1: car wash that also has a small church in the back. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the combination attracts a lot of strange characters. I'd love

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Speaker 1: to hear your take on our rare window dinosaur car wash,

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Speaker 1: church parking lot of situation. Thanks Hailey in Austin, please

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Speaker 1: do a show here when all this is over all right,

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Speaker 1: we'd love to come to it. It's too much, it's

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Speaker 1: too much. How is this too much? You see this?

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Speaker 1: People are pretty, people are people are in a church

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Speaker 1: service while the cars are being washed. It doesn't make sense.

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Speaker 1: How does it work? And what way does it not

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Speaker 1: make sense? That you're you're accomplishing. You're accomplishing two things

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Speaker 1: that I mean, it's kind of great. Well what do

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Speaker 1: you do when you go to a car that doesn't

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Speaker 1: have a church in the back. That's first of all,

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Speaker 1: that's most of them, and I just most of them.

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Speaker 1: Let's say all of them. Let's come into all of them. Okay,

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Speaker 1: all of them don't have it. That's my point. Listen, listen, listen.

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Speaker 1: I just had this, had this discussion. But my dad

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Speaker 1: owns this place, had about that. Okay, so I could

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Speaker 1: tell him to shut it down if I wanted to. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he takes all of his orders from his kid, his

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Speaker 1: smartass son. Some look, if you can show me a

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Speaker 1: miracle that has occurred here or something where Jesus is

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Speaker 1: actually in a house, I might back away. Right now.

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Speaker 1: It feels like too much. Okay, So until Jesus comes

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Speaker 1: here to get his car wash, you've got a problem. Bingo. Okay,

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Speaker 1: now we're clear. All right, Let's make a guirl shortlist

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Speaker 1: of the things you told your father to do that

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Speaker 1: he did, starting with he got rid of uh job. Right,

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Speaker 1: he got rid of a jock. Right, jock was opinion

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Speaker 1: too muscular? Yes, boom, he got rid of him. My dad,

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Speaker 1: my dad added the vending machine with the with the

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Speaker 1: air fresheners. Because you said dad would need an air

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Speaker 1: freshener vending machine. Yeah, that's crazy. And and look last thing,

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Speaker 1: I asked my dad to make me the manager. And

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Speaker 1: look I'm the manager. Okay, okay, is that that's not

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Speaker 1: your dad? No, that's the dinosaur sounds of the cars

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Speaker 1: going through the dryer. Listen, I'm going in my office.

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Speaker 1: I can't take this. Show me a miracle, Show me

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Speaker 1: a miracle. Um, excuse me. I was wondering if maybe

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Speaker 1: I could help by giving a benefit of having the

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Speaker 1: church by you. I am Father Johnson, and I was

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Speaker 1: thinking about maybe blessing the water of your car wash. Okay,

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Speaker 1: what do you say? I'm saying that if you would

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Speaker 1: like me to bless the water of your car wash,

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Speaker 1: if we can have a better relationship, you me, the church,

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Speaker 1: the car wash, maybe going forward we can have a

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Speaker 1: better relationship. It would be as simple as WHOA what

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Speaker 1: the reverend Carmack, how are you doing? I'm doing well.

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Speaker 1: I'm making an agreement my my dad. Whenever I tell

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Speaker 1: him that I want something done, he usually follows along,

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Speaker 1: so I'd be willing to give him a good word

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Speaker 1: for you and your car wash. Are you referring to

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Speaker 1: God as your father? Yes? Okay, hey john Thought, Hey father,

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Speaker 1: car Michael Johnson. Can I ask you a question? Yes?

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Speaker 1: What what happens when Jesus comes back? Well, when he

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Speaker 1: comes back? Just going? It's on my answer that I'm

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Speaker 1: actually running the church right back here behind the car washing.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to tell you what happens when Christ returns.

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Speaker 1: Revelational speaks of a firmament, a lightning, lightning in the sky,

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Speaker 1: breaking we can I was just helping you. It seems

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Speaker 1: like you've got it pretty good. I do a permanent firmament, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I do. Is a line that often happens when I'm running, Sir,

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Speaker 1: I do. How's it going? So what do you want?

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Speaker 1: You want the car wash? Number two? Number three? Special?

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you number four. You get full wax

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Speaker 1: and armor on the tires. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 1: go give it to me again. He said, Uh, the

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Speaker 1: car wash was number one, okay, okay, but number one

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Speaker 1: is you know why didn't get your car washed? So

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Speaker 1: moving on number two, that's a second, Wait a second,

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Speaker 1: what about Yeah, I just want to get my car washed.

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Speaker 1: I just I really want to urge you not to

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Speaker 1: go with number one. Al Right, okay, give give me

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Speaker 1: the rest, all right? Number two is full wash with

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Speaker 1: rainbow wax, and number three is rainbow wax double time. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So back to number three. So does number three have

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Speaker 1: a full car wash or it's just the rainbow wax

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Speaker 1: with the other things you said. Look, I'm gonna be

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Speaker 1: honest with number three. You're a real fast talker. Man.

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Speaker 1: Look this is I'm a car wash guy. You know

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Speaker 1: what I mean? This is the bus. Look, number three

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Speaker 1: car wash washes full car wash, rainbow wax, but also

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Speaker 1: a confession. You get a confession. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: that's what you're into. I don't push that part of it,

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Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? If you want, you

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Speaker 1: can switch out armor all you can switch out with

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Speaker 1: confession for armor. All okay, Well, given number four, but

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Speaker 1: number three is paring sound and pretty sweet right now?

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Speaker 1: Sound pretty sweet? Right now? Is that because of the

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Speaker 1: armoral or the confession? Wouldn't you like to know. I

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Speaker 1: would the confession. Oh my god, this sinceens crazy. I can't.

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Speaker 1: Where are you taking me? Chuck? This as files? What

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Speaker 1: is this? It's a dinosaur theme co wash. Wait, Chuck,

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Speaker 1: this is oh my god, this is so sweet normal.

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Speaker 1: It's a real real dinosaurs that they you know, they

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Speaker 1: found like DNA trapped in amber and then they replicated

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Speaker 1: them and you kind of drive by them as you

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Speaker 1: go through the car washing ship Koski Park. It's like

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Speaker 1: Kimowski Park, but it's smaller. It's more more of a

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Speaker 1: car wash. Oh my god, big wait, there's a real dinosaurs, Chuck.

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Speaker 1: They get like five or six you know dinosaurs. Because

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Speaker 1: again it's a car wash, it's relatively small. I can't, Chuck.

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Speaker 1: I can't if I go in there and I see

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Speaker 1: the what did they come inside? What did the dinosaurs

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Speaker 1: come inside? You inside? Your call the whole time you did.

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Speaker 1: That's gonna protect you, Chuck. You gonna project you, Chuck.

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Speaker 1: Their talents are like stone. Okay, they can bust through

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Speaker 1: a window. Chuck, got like one, They got like one

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Speaker 1: t rex and one. Please, it's not gonna crush the cars.

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Speaker 1: Let's just go to a seventy six let's just get

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Speaker 1: our car washing seventy six? Good? How can I help you?

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Speaker 1: I gotta come on from last time? Good? Can you

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Speaker 1: reassure my girlfriend everything is totally safe here? Of course? Um,

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Speaker 1: so we use all environmentally safe and friendly chaps. Well,

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Speaker 1: that's the t Rex. That's the t rex, that's you know,

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Speaker 1: let's just go to seventy six. Chuck, Please, let's just

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Speaker 1: go to don't say that now, listen, ma'am. I assure

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Speaker 1: you this car will come out spotless, and if you want,

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Speaker 1: I can throw it in armor all and one feet. Okay,

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Speaker 1: let's do that. Let's do that. Let's do yeah. Well,

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Speaker 1: we'll give you man, take this knife. I'm gonna give

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Speaker 1: you a live goat. Now it's up to you whether

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Speaker 1: or not you want to slice the goat's throat or feeding.

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Speaker 1: That is up to you. All right, go ahead, moving on.

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Speaker 1: I feed it whole. I think is that I want

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Speaker 1: to get the goat blood all over my car. You know,

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Speaker 1: they'll clean it, they'll clean it. Okay, babe, we're going

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Speaker 1: to seventy six. We're going to seventy six thousand BC

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Speaker 1: is where we're going. Maybe seventy six million, Like I

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Speaker 1: don't know, I don't know when dinosaurs lives. Dinosaurs live

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Speaker 1: at the same time as humans. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: Bible Like, look, I know you're a creationist. Bible. No no, baby,

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Speaker 1: the Earth is way older than three thousand years old. Okay,

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Speaker 1: the Earth, it's not. It's it's like thirty years old.

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Speaker 1: If you weren't so fucking hot, you're hot to me,

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Speaker 1: would do to me? Okay? You got free the goat,

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Speaker 1: Give it the goat. The Welcome to the seventies six

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Speaker 1: car wash. We got a Halloween theme with scares and dares.

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Speaker 1: How can I help you today? I came here are you?

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Speaker 1: Are you go for it? But just to be clear,

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Speaker 1: I do want to know about the dares. Well, then

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Speaker 1: I absolutely because I'm here to make a complaint. I

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Speaker 1: came through this horror themed thing, and there was a

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Speaker 1: serial killer that came home to my house in my

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Speaker 1: back seat of my car. These are unrelated acts. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: we don't unt serial killers that work at the car wash. Well,

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Speaker 1: that definitely sounds like one of the scares, so I

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Speaker 1: wanted to hear about. Listen, this guy was dressed like

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Speaker 1: Michael Myers and so showed up at my house three

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Speaker 1: days later. Okay, all right, well I believe that's a

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Speaker 1: situation you want to take to the police. Sir. What

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Speaker 1: did you come here for a free car wash or something?

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Speaker 1: Because serial killer came to the house that worked for me.

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Speaker 1: Second of all, excuse me, you left some change in

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Speaker 1: your car at the car worker. Oh my god, who

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Speaker 1: are you? You're at the Nissan Central right, Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: have a niece on Santra. What are you doing at

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Speaker 1: my house? I'm returning your change to you. This is bullshit.

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Speaker 1: You shouldn't follow me home that this is my private

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Speaker 1: residence that was supposed to be scarce. That happened at

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Speaker 1: the car washing. My co workers stared me to do this. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm going to report you to your to your bosses

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Speaker 1: were normally we just keep the change. I'm being honest.

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Speaker 1: I'm returning it. Well, thank you. I'm taking the change,

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Speaker 1: but I don't appreciate you following my family home here

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Speaker 1: where I didn't follow it. Now, look, Monica, we like

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Speaker 1: you here at this car washer. Okay, we like you

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Speaker 1: a lot. The problem is, I'm going I'm going going

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Speaker 1: through your file here. It seems like you've got a

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Speaker 1: lot more scarce than dares yeah, I've been doing a scaring.

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Speaker 1: I'm pretty good at it. You know. I just go

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Speaker 1: knocked on the doors and I say boo boo, and

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Speaker 1: then I was it's pretty scary. You know, people just

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Speaker 1: jumping stuff. They're so jumping in these streets. You know. Look,

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Speaker 1: you know we went on up reviews. Okay, so we

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Speaker 1: need to get those dares up. So if you can

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Speaker 1: do me a favorite the rest of the week, the

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Speaker 1: rest of the month, even get those dare numbers up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: come on, okay, okay, I hear, Okay, I'm sorry. I

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Speaker 1: just want to get my car washed. I don't know

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Speaker 1: who to talk to. You. Well, are you gonna damon

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Speaker 1: to do it? To that? Damnit to do it. I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna dare you to do it, damn to do it. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I dare you to wash my car. Okay, okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: sirts see I'm doing it. I'm doing it. Boo o. Jesus,

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Speaker 1: my heart, oh my god, oh my god. Say anything.

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Speaker 1: He has to heart attack. Okay, everything seems to be fine.

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Speaker 1: You are having an extended orgasm hard No, no, it's

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Speaker 1: not your heart. It's not your heart is totally fine.

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Speaker 1: We praise him him okay, oh, okay, you're done. You're done.

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Speaker 1: B bus. I don't know. I think he has having

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Speaker 1: a heart attack. Like do I have to clean this

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Speaker 1: stuff up? Please don't. I'm good to do that. Please don't.

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Speaker 1: I promised I will. I will quit right now that

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Speaker 1: you're not. I'm not gonna. So you're a doctor. That's crazy,

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Speaker 1: Like what's like, like what do you kind of like

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Speaker 1: do you like a crazy it's a whole but you

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Speaker 1: see like a lot of crazy ship. Yeah what huh?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes I do? You know, so like that, I have

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Speaker 1: to be honest with you. My last boyfriend and I

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Speaker 1: like we broke up, um like a really while ago,

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Speaker 1: and we went to this you get even by t

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Speaker 1: Rex and I told him I didn't want to go

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Speaker 1: to this, Like you know, there's like a church car

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Speaker 1: wash t Rex. Oh that that place. Yeah, it's sucking.

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Speaker 1: Scared the ship out of me. It shows when when

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Speaker 1: the dinosaurs lived at the same time as Jesus. Right, yes,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Oh

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Speaker 1: my Goshdre, I didn't know that you're a Christianist as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's so mean a Christianist. This is insane,

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Speaker 1: Like Okay, this is gonna sound crazy, but do you

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Speaker 1: want to cut each other and then mix our blood

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Speaker 1: together and drink that? Yes? Yes, yes, I do, yes,

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Speaker 1: oh my heart. Um, all right, listen, I talked to

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Speaker 1: my dad, and my dad said, I can do whatever

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Speaker 1: I want. So do you have any miracles for me

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Speaker 1: on this Monday? Miracles? What time of miracles you're looking for? Well?

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Speaker 1: I thought, I mean it cleared our first conversation that

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Speaker 1: I will close the church portion down of this car

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Speaker 1: wash unless you can provide me with some miracles, right,

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Speaker 1: And I thought I made my position clear last time

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Speaker 1: I spoke that I just need to know what miracle

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Speaker 1: do you want? I don't, I mean, I don't any

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Speaker 1: miracle at all. Could be I'm just spitballing. Your father dies,

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Speaker 1: you take over the company. Who's who's hey? Hey it's Marian.

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Speaker 1: Did did someone say a miracle? I'm sorry, My butterfly

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Speaker 1: is all the way. Um. You know I don't do

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Speaker 1: this often, um, but I was just walking bad this

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Speaker 1: this parking lot, and I heard it. I felt it

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Speaker 1: in my spirit and you know, thick and be rick

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Speaker 1: up then you and it's just you know I do

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Speaker 1: that sometimes and I just wanted to bless you with

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Speaker 1: my voice and my presence. Okay, this is what I'm

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Speaker 1: talking about. My dad owns this place. I'm the manager. Wow.

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Speaker 1: So you're poor, Okay, yeah, you spend It's Mike. Have

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Speaker 1: you spent any time in our chapel? Oh no, I

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Speaker 1: worship Maria. Mariah worships Mariah. That's Maria Carry holy ship.

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Speaker 1: That t Rex just picked up Mariah Carry. Oh God, Mick,

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Speaker 1: can you Stephanie? This is crazy? Okay. So I got

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Speaker 1: two tickets to front row tickets to see Mariah Carry

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Speaker 1: in concert. Hello, Stephanie, wake up, Okay, wake up. I

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Speaker 1: just bucked in your room to tell you that I

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Speaker 1: just go I'm sorry. I had to take up my

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Speaker 1: sea pap machine. You know I had troubles at night.

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Speaker 1: I know. First off, you don't need that. Okay, if

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Speaker 1: you just pray, it'll go away. And I'm Jason Bentley.

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Speaker 1: That was Bobo's on the radio. Morns become eclectic. Um,

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Speaker 1: some really bad news we have tonight at the part

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Speaker 1: of me this morning, Mariah Carry was eaten by a dinosaur. Um.

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Speaker 1: She had a big concert plan for tonight. And what

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Speaker 1: are you doing in the radio booth? Who he is, hell,

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Speaker 1: are you doing? What are you doing? Jason Bentley whose

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Speaker 1: Jason bent That's seen one old my oh kicks from

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Speaker 1: the booth see two controls From David all the way

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Speaker 1: from Australia, who wrote high Alchemist. I was thrilled when

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Speaker 1: you used my first suggestion about Stonehenge. I'd never written

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Speaker 1: to a podcast before, and hearing my words read read

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Speaker 1: back by that Kevin Pollock felt like alternate universe is colliding.

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Speaker 1: Speaking of segues my scene suggestion. Moments after completing the

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Speaker 1: time travel equations, an inventor is inundated by admirers from

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Speaker 1: alternative futures. Huh, who knows you do what you do best?

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Speaker 1: Keep up the amazing work, David from Australia. And if

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Speaker 1: we just lined this up, interrupting doctor, but they were

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Speaker 1: almost finished with this experiment. Just let me focus because

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Speaker 1: if I messed this up, the spacetime continuum right, But

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Speaker 1: if I just needed to know from the kitchen, if

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Speaker 1: you want a tuna fish or tuna salad, oh, jeesnish

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Speaker 1: tuna salad. Sorry, tune a melt or tune a salad?

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Speaker 1: Oh take okay, tuna melt or tuna salad I'll take

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Speaker 1: the tuna. I'll take the tuna. Fuck, oh, just surprised me.

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Speaker 1: Give me a tuna surprise, tuna surprise, it is, sir,

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Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Sorry for interrupting. Okay, where was I?

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Speaker 1: I think it's done. So did you say salad or

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Speaker 1: did you say melt? He said to the melt. He

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Speaker 1: did not specify cheese, So eny cheese I want? Mhmm?

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Speaker 1: Keep sure? Do you think that it's just a genius? Man?

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Speaker 1: I know exactly what kind of cheese he wants, but

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Speaker 1: it's always up to me. Got a cheese that I

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Speaker 1: want to put on the sandal? Just that's not how

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Speaker 1: genius works. How why do you know a woman? M hmm? Stupid?

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Speaker 1: I bet I could make a machine. I bet I

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Speaker 1: can make a time machine. But all the time I

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Speaker 1: go all the back and all the times you want

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Speaker 1: to know what chees? Rather than suggesting you could make

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Speaker 1: the machine, why don't you just choose where in time

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Speaker 1: you'd like to travel, and then we could sneak in

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Speaker 1: there later and off you go. I never thought of

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Speaker 1: that we could do that, right? So why don't we

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Speaker 1: set the complaining aside? The mindless complaining that fills you

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Speaker 1: with mindless it's a definitely pointed I know why I'm

385
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Speaker 1: complaining right from the inside going out probably has a point,

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Speaker 1: but probably exists. There's no point. Everyone here are sheep.

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Speaker 1: You're all sheep. It's just to be taking advantage by

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Speaker 1: this point, just because he isn't the greenest science. We

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Speaker 1: just trust a man who likes science. It's just you

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Speaker 1: and I and the tuna fish. So why don't we

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Speaker 1: stay focused? All right? Focus, Gouda, I'm focused? Where in

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Speaker 1: time shall we travel later? How about? How about the

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Speaker 1: time you shut up? When was that? Is there a time?

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Speaker 1: Well that shut me up? Professor? Professor? My name is

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Speaker 1: zan thorpe A sixteen. I come from the year. I

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Speaker 1: live in the fourth quadrant of commedia. Sir, sir, thank you,

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Speaker 1: thank you first of all for your wonderful in mentioned.

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Speaker 1: But you must decide what you want for lunch today.

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Speaker 1: It will affect it will affect the future if you

400
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Speaker 1: don't decide on a specific tuna dish. Is it too late?

401
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:44,120
Speaker 1: If I've already ordered you come here just moments too late?

402
00:25:44,119 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 1: I ordered it to the surprise, Oh god, you did.

403
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:53,199
Speaker 1: Then you can't go back in time, Professor. It is

404
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Speaker 1: me zant. I come from the fourth quadrant of Comedia.

405
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Speaker 1: I was just here a moment ago. Okay, okay, then

406
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Speaker 1: go far up back in time. I don't mean to

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Speaker 1: just I think you're you're still here, Yes you williot,

408
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Speaker 1: I'm here. What are you doing right, professor? Professor? My

409
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 1: name is I am from why you're from Clamidia. I know,

410
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:23,199
Speaker 1: I know who you are. You're here two times done already, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I get it. That's a different guy. That's different. I didn't.

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Speaker 1: I was enough to go up that sand thorpe and

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Speaker 1: you are you are? I'm in common. No, this guy,

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Speaker 1: this guy is full of from I'm from the eighth

415
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Speaker 1: quadron of Chlamydia. I know, guys, all right, I mean

416
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:50,960
Speaker 1: I don't know about I'm not. I'm not. But anyway,

417
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:57,400
Speaker 1: I get out here. Wait, don't go that was strange. Okay.

418
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,280
Speaker 1: You guys are the same person, Yeah, we are the

419
00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,639
Speaker 1: same different go the same, all right. So all you

420
00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,439
Speaker 1: gotta do is tell me what to order, because I

421
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:08,720
Speaker 1: ordered tuna surprise, Tuna surprise. Yes, that's exactly it. That's

422
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:11,840
Speaker 1: what I ordered. No, No, that that leaves too much

423
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 1: power to the kitchen. Well, I want to be surprised.

424
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,600
Speaker 1: That's not a good all right, all right, so why

425
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:19,439
Speaker 1: don't you guys come back with me to the kitchen.

426
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:25,199
Speaker 1: Come back with me to the kitchen or what what

427
00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,760
Speaker 1: were you going to say? I see that you're about

428
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:30,600
Speaker 1: to say something. I'm not from the future, you guys

429
00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:34,200
Speaker 1: are tell me, so you were we were going to

430
00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,240
Speaker 1: go back to the kitchen where the guys making the sandwich.

431
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:38,359
Speaker 1: Right now you're saying yes, and we were going to

432
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:40,760
Speaker 1: tell them what we want. What whatever the best for

433
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: the future is, is what I'll order right now. I'll

434
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 1: say that we were surprised when a tidal wave wiped

435
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:52,879
Speaker 1: out the continent of Australia. So that surprise unwelcome because

436
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: you couldn't make up your mind. Okay, that's fine, But

437
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,199
Speaker 1: why don't we just go back there and tell the

438
00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,720
Speaker 1: chef what I order that will make the future better.

439
00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 1: I'll give it a shot. Xanthor alright, alright, Zanthorpe, I'll

440
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:12,880
Speaker 1: do it. Okay, okay, all right, it's right this way,

441
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:17,680
Speaker 1: this is thank you, fellow. Mean she could passage up

442
00:28:17,680 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: this way, we'll be able to go into the back

443
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 1: way of his science laboratory and from there then I

444
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: can jump into his stupid time machine and prove wanting

445
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: for all. But I am mr. Do you know that

446
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,600
Speaker 1: you're talking out loud in this dark hallway? Yes, child,

447
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 1: I do, all right, Okay, It just it seems like

448
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,400
Speaker 1: you're just giving a lot of way right now. And

449
00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 1: I don't know if that was supposed to be a secret. Okay, listen,

450
00:28:46,240 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 1: I have in a condition. I give a lot of

451
00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: exposition when I walk alone. All right, That's just what

452
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:54,080
Speaker 1: I do. Okay, But I am compiling some kind of fellowship.

453
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,160
Speaker 1: Would you like to join me? As I in time

454
00:28:56,200 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 1: travel through time and stranger danger. I just like to

455
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:04,080
Speaker 1: hang out in this dark hallway. It's really where I

456
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:06,719
Speaker 1: like to play my partially back about a couple of hours.

457
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 1: They work a child, a strange child in the hallway.

458
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: I wonder if their influence will have affected me in

459
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:20,800
Speaker 1: any way in the future. Or oh my god, she's

460
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:26,800
Speaker 1: get the hell out of me. Oh my god, you say, guy, Okay,

461
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:35,520
Speaker 1: my heart, my heart, my heart, Okay, you can stop

462
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 1: with the exposition. You've been in the er for two hours. Okay,

463
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,200
Speaker 1: we we pretty much know what your situation is. And

464
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 1: then my heart went yes, and you told me that

465
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 1: stop narrating what's going on, so I can tell you

466
00:29:48,360 --> 00:29:51,960
Speaker 1: you have had a severe heart attack. Please. I think

467
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 1: I'm gonna believe you because you're a doctor of science.

468
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,200
Speaker 1: Let me tell you something right now. I work with cheese, sir.

469
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 1: Do you know that? With Jesus, no cheese? Oh? Sorry,

470
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: sorry I misheard you. I had had a real hot

471
00:30:07,120 --> 00:30:18,520
Speaker 1: date this weekend. Are you a Christians? I am a Christian. Yep, yep, yep. Anyway, Uh,

472
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: you you need to get on heart medication right away.

473
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,960
Speaker 1: I think the best thing for me is spoon feeding

474
00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:29,560
Speaker 1: myself liquid cheese until I'm filled up. No, I don't

475
00:30:29,560 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 1: recommend that at all. You've got several blocked arteries and

476
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: the chances of a repeat of this heart attack immediately.

477
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: I mean, do you have anything planned for today? Interesting?

478
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:44,120
Speaker 1: If I could go back in time and change my heart,

479
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 1: do you think i'd have a heart attack? No? I mean,

480
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: and I guess that true. If you were to go

481
00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 1: back in time make some different choices in life, then

482
00:30:52,440 --> 00:30:55,239
Speaker 1: you wouldn't be seeing me today, and both of our

483
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: lives would be better, right exactly, So, if I go

484
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 1: back in time and change my heart, rip my heart

485
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 1: out and put a new so where's the cheese guy?

486
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 1: It's behind this store, and I don't know for sure.

487
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: I just want to be very cautious that we're not

488
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 1: breaking any rules of time, because I know that if

489
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 1: I was to go back in time, I wouldn't want

490
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,400
Speaker 1: to run into myself because that didn't happen, it would

491
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: shatter the spacetime. Right. So you guys are from the future.

492
00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: You probably know better than I do, despite the fact

493
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: that I made this machine. What kind of dangers are

494
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 1: behind this door? Are we going to change the past?

495
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 1: Pardon me? Before you passed through this door? Three questions

496
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:42,959
Speaker 1: you must answer. Are you ready? I know the answers

497
00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 1: because I've set this this guard here in the century,

498
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,080
Speaker 1: so I should let you guys answer it to make

499
00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: sure it's correct. Go ahead. What's the purpose of this

500
00:31:51,800 --> 00:31:56,200
Speaker 1: It's for safety. It's for safety. I set this century

501
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,560
Speaker 1: here to make sure that nobody can enter the food

502
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: if excuse me, I'm sorry, I'm just hanging out just

503
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 1: in this little holiday. Why don't you just answer the

504
00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: questions yourself? I mean, you just you want to go

505
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,680
Speaker 1: through the door, right? Why can't you just answer? It

506
00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 1: just doesn't seem like the time to be checking your

507
00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 1: security systems. I wrote the questions so it would just

508
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:19,400
Speaker 1: be a little silly for me to answer them. And

509
00:32:19,480 --> 00:32:23,160
Speaker 1: your parents are walking on thin ropes right now because

510
00:32:23,240 --> 00:32:25,680
Speaker 1: I told them that you shouldn't be here during the day.

511
00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 1: This is a professional that's a rope walker, so that's

512
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:37,160
Speaker 1: kind of their job. You've just answered question one day

513
00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:40,240
Speaker 1: type rope rock. What is going on with sort like?

514
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:45,400
Speaker 1: I don't understand it should be delay? The whole quadron

515
00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:51,000
Speaker 1: isn't dying dying? What is happening? I thought we had

516
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: all the instructions, we knew what to do. It was

517
00:32:54,200 --> 00:33:01,080
Speaker 1: a surprise the scientists chose to a surprise. Jit, you

518
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: weren't able to change it? Well, what what do you

519
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 1: go back? Go back? Question number two? Oh, we're right

520
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 1: back where we left up, and now there's two more

521
00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:21,840
Speaker 1: zand Thorp's here. It's just getting a little overwhelming. I

522
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 1: need two of you to disappear. I can only this

523
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:28,160
Speaker 1: can't be good. We don't just disappear. You have to

524
00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,840
Speaker 1: either kill one of us or put us back in

525
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,120
Speaker 1: the machine. You're gonna have to fix this loop, sir.

526
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 1: I mean you're you're you're the person who invented the machine.

527
00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 1: And that's the answer to question too. You're going to

528
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:41,640
Speaker 1: have to are you ready for that? Was was one?

529
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:45,720
Speaker 1: That was one? Are you ready for? Question three? I

530
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 1: let just before you ask question three, I know all

531
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,719
Speaker 1: of you Zanthorpes are one person, so I'm just going

532
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: to designate the one that I touched with my hand.

533
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:57,640
Speaker 1: You you're going to answer the question. Everybody else just

534
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: please remain quiet. Whoa way down low with a touch?

535
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: I just wanted to make sure that everybody knew that

536
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:10,200
Speaker 1: was not inappropriately low. That was it was good luck Xanthorpe.

537
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:15,759
Speaker 1: Good luck Xanthorpe. Well, I guess it's down to me. Okay.

538
00:34:16,719 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: Question three? Which is the real Zanto? Well? Wow? Boy?

539
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,640
Speaker 1: That that really is a tough one because it feels

540
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:32,160
Speaker 1: like it's me right. I mean, who's the original put

541
00:34:32,200 --> 00:34:36,879
Speaker 1: that gun down? Xanthorpe? And I suppose if there's only

542
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: one Xanthorpe left, whoever that Zanthorpe is, no, is the

543
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:54,879
Speaker 1: real Xanta Thorpe? No, Sandor Please, that is a correct answer, Anton, now, good,

544
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,920
Speaker 1: good job Sandthorpe. I didn't know when I wrote that

545
00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 1: question help and it would be in the situation, so

546
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:10,000
Speaker 1: masks the chef I've gotta here's the tuna surprise. It's

547
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:13,480
Speaker 1: already made. They've already made the tuna surprise. They were

548
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,879
Speaker 1: too late, were too late, and I haven't my lunch.

549
00:35:20,680 --> 00:35:22,680
Speaker 1: Maybe if I don't eat it, then it's not my lunch.

550
00:35:22,719 --> 00:35:26,319
Speaker 1: It's just a tuna surprise for somebody. It's already been made.

551
00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:31,640
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter. Well, Professor Johnson, that was one hell

552
00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:35,279
Speaker 1: of a keynote, I'll tell you that much. But I um,

553
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: you know, thinking about what you said and going back

554
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,160
Speaker 1: and forth with the different x anthems and and that,

555
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 1: I um, you never said thank you for saving the

556
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: universe though. What Well, at the end of that, I

557
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,320
Speaker 1: was really expecting kind of like an applause and no

558
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 1: thank you, like we're still here. I'm sorry, go ahead,

559
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,839
Speaker 1: what was your question? I mean, it's kind of leading

560
00:35:56,840 --> 00:35:59,759
Speaker 1: into that. There was a lot of self congratulations going

561
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:01,759
Speaker 1: on to whole thing, a lot of pattering on the back.

562
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:04,839
Speaker 1: Of course. I had to destroy the time machine because

563
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,720
Speaker 1: if it was still here then we'd still be in danger.

564
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 1: So go ahead. Yeah, Well, I mean I'm into it. Look,

565
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:11,479
Speaker 1: we want to bring you back to the next Flat

566
00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,000
Speaker 1: Earth conference. I think we think you got something really strong.

567
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:15,279
Speaker 1: We think you get a lot of punch of views

568
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:17,359
Speaker 1: that are going to like embrace the culture as well

569
00:36:17,400 --> 00:36:19,560
Speaker 1: as promote what we need to do. Because let's say,

570
00:36:19,680 --> 00:36:21,879
Speaker 1: let's let's just humor the idea, because it's a fact

571
00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:25,000
Speaker 1: that the world is flat, right, m okay, And then

572
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: you add on top of that other's time travel. Well,

573
00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 1: that's yeah, of course, I mean time travel is flat

574
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:35,360
Speaker 1: as well, exact far enough away. All dimensions are flat

575
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:38,560
Speaker 1: exactly exactly. And and if you and unlet's say you

576
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:46,960
Speaker 1: sand with them all together, what do you get? Cracious?

577
00:36:50,160 --> 00:37:02,080
Speaker 1: Oh my, here we go three from Patrin v I,

578
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: p Jazzy Pi and trum or piantrum. Uh. It's a

579
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 1: it's a scene and a poem. It reads, Dear Alchemists.

580
00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:14,279
Speaker 1: In recent response of the epidemic, I love I have

581
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,360
Speaker 1: written a poem to keep myself from being sick, although

582
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:22,680
Speaker 1: scientifically that is no reason I want to do it anyway,

583
00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:27,719
Speaker 1: because tis the season, huh. From Fried Hash Browns to

584
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: James's Red Hair, there are a lot of in jokes

585
00:37:31,680 --> 00:37:35,240
Speaker 1: for all to share. Chicken Ist Church is definitely something

586
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 1: I would join, but could you stop talking about people's groins?

587
00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 1: The alchemists are awesome and better than the rest. Now

588
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:48,719
Speaker 1: here's my suggestion, a difficult test. What would happen if

589
00:37:48,760 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 1: a normal person got magically sucked into a TV show?

590
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,239
Speaker 1: And then he gave a couple examples like Dora the Explorer,

591
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:07,759
Speaker 1: Blues Clue, whose thank you, jazy pan trump. All right,

592
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 1: let's go to our ones. We're gonna do another take.

593
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 1: A my boom so excuse me, boom coming through, boom,

594
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:22,840
Speaker 1: I'm booming. Let the boom through, most underappreciated person on

595
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: the set. It's coming through with the boom. This again.

596
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:31,280
Speaker 1: All right? Do you want to move another take? Remove

597
00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:34,160
Speaker 1: your masks. We're gonna have to do another take. It's

598
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: a fucking puppet. Roll sound, It's a fucking pumpet. Do

599
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:43,800
Speaker 1: we have to do fy I? Sound is roll spade

600
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:57,840
Speaker 1: and in action? Please? Oh Mr goddamnit God, Can I

601
00:38:57,880 --> 00:39:02,160
Speaker 1: go on a break or something? Please? I need I

602
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 1: need like a couple of days, Just give me like

603
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:08,239
Speaker 1: a five day or Tommy, Tommy, can you just keep

604
00:39:08,280 --> 00:39:11,600
Speaker 1: your ship together so a weekend? We're our here. I

605
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:14,000
Speaker 1: know that, I know that, but I just I'm talking

606
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: to a puppet, you know, and like I just like

607
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,440
Speaker 1: I want to talk to a human being. Please, what Okay,

608
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:23,120
Speaker 1: I'm an actor. Is this about season four renegotiation? This

609
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:28,000
Speaker 1: is about season four renegotiations? Okay, this is daddy, Okay, Daddy,

610
00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: I know. I know what I want to be when

611
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:35,399
Speaker 1: I can grow up. After all? What is it? Are

612
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,520
Speaker 1: you busy with work again? Yeah? Well, let's text season.

613
00:39:41,160 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: It's always tax season. No tex season is is February

614
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,799
Speaker 1: through April. I don't know what that means. But you said,

615
00:39:49,640 --> 00:39:51,879
Speaker 1: I'm a cp a son and this is my busy time.

616
00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,120
Speaker 1: Last last night, before I went to bed, you said

617
00:39:55,400 --> 00:39:57,680
Speaker 1: I have to think long and hard about my future.

618
00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,560
Speaker 1: I said that about my myself, or said that about you.

619
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: I think you were saying that to me. You said

620
00:40:03,520 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 1: it whispered, so I don't really know. Yeah, yeah, some

621
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 1: scotch last night. I have not long and hard? Good good,

622
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:16,239
Speaker 1: good good. And I want to be I want to

623
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: be one of the puppet players. Oh, you can't deduct that.

624
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:27,640
Speaker 1: What was that puppet player? Yeah? I want to be

625
00:40:27,719 --> 00:40:31,879
Speaker 1: one of the puppet players when you grow up. Now,

626
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,840
Speaker 1: if you grow up all right, now, you want to

627
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 1: be a puppet player. Tay, You're gonna hurt me. No, son, no, son,

628
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:46,480
Speaker 1: I would never hurt you. Sean. What the hell is this?

629
00:40:46,640 --> 00:40:48,400
Speaker 1: I mean, oh my, oh my, goddamn tax one for

630
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,680
Speaker 1: fucked up? What the hell is this? You've got puppet

631
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:53,040
Speaker 1: player over here, You got random numbers, that's going on

632
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:56,160
Speaker 1: in your head, Sean. Look, I was trying to do

633
00:40:56,239 --> 00:40:57,920
Speaker 1: your taxes at the same time. I was trying to

634
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:03,239
Speaker 1: raise my boy, right, and when I get distracted, I

635
00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:06,319
Speaker 1: write down things for my life on people's returns. Well,

636
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: that sucked me up, man, I just got out of it,

637
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 1: out of my ass. The government's coming for big bucks

638
00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:14,399
Speaker 1: from me. Big bucks. What they say, how much I owe?

639
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,359
Speaker 1: Two hundred seventy billion dollars, that's what they say. That's

640
00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:21,480
Speaker 1: that's a mistake. So it looks like the figure we've got, sir,

641
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: that you'll oh, is uh two hundred and seventy billion. Now, yeah,

642
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 1: I've redone times billion dollars. It keeps coming out to

643
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:42,440
Speaker 1: two let's start here stores, I sell them the car washed.

644
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,760
Speaker 1: I don't have that kind of money. It's a simple

645
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 1: audit question. How much do you think you earned in

646
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:56,279
Speaker 1: the calendar year of two thousand nineteen six. That's what

647
00:41:56,400 --> 00:42:01,879
Speaker 1: I have to So how do I billion? He said.

648
00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 1: Let me ask you another simple lotic question. Do you

649
00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:12,120
Speaker 1: have any other income other than the job that brings you? Yes? Huh?

650
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:17,240
Speaker 1: And what do you suppose that income comes to that total?

651
00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:26,960
Speaker 1: About thirty dollars or three billions? Thirty dollars? I make toothpicks.

652
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,239
Speaker 1: I saw him on the side of the road. Okay,

653
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:36,680
Speaker 1: that sounds more like thirty dollars. It's thirty dollars. Hey, hey, Bud,

654
00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 1: get over here. You got what do you got? I

655
00:42:39,040 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: guess should I dropped them? Okay, it's Saturday morning, time

656
00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: for my favorite show, The puppet Players. Poof. Well, hello boy,

657
00:42:59,680 --> 00:43:02,520
Speaker 1: I'll divide it. Told you I could step out of

658
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: the television. Is it down right next to you? Honey?

659
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:11,800
Speaker 1: What do you watching? I'm watching the puppet Players? Mom, okay,

660
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: I'm making your sunny side up eggs. Be ready, little boy?

661
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:20,160
Speaker 1: What if I told you I could put you inside

662
00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:25,680
Speaker 1: of the television screen? This is weird. I don't think

663
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:30,120
Speaker 1: you realize I'm talking to you, Honey. Who are you

664
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: talking to? Um? The guy on the TV? I'm hungry, Mom,

665
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 1: Get down right now. You got a goddamn vampire. Come

666
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 1: to the goddamn screen. Kid, get in the kitchen with

667
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:49,480
Speaker 1: your mom ma. Hi, you just busted through my window.

668
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,800
Speaker 1: Yes I did. I'm with a small sect of Christians

669
00:43:53,320 --> 00:43:56,359
Speaker 1: coming here to hunt down evil, and this vampire right

670
00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:04,359
Speaker 1: here is trying to take the soul of boy my hands. Now, look,

671
00:44:04,680 --> 00:44:06,840
Speaker 1: I can take a shot, but I need you to sanction,

672
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:12,399
Speaker 1: all right, mom, alright me? Oh my god. Wow. I've

673
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: never been put on the spot like this. Okay, I

674
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:19,919
Speaker 1: am and I'm looking for men to raise my my boy.

675
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,680
Speaker 1: But I'm happy here. That's not true. My dad's in

676
00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:25,640
Speaker 1: the office. He's just tax season and he's stop it

677
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:34,759
Speaker 1: tax season. Really, he's a c p A whoa oh

678
00:44:35,200 --> 00:44:40,240
Speaker 1: miss that shot? M maybe take another. You're gonna shoot

679
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:42,840
Speaker 1: the TV to shoot and shoot him? What happened? He

680
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 1: gets sucked into the screen. Yes, yeah, uh uh, I

681
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 1: guess I should get out of here. Yeah, I had

682
00:44:55,800 --> 00:45:00,600
Speaker 1: some sunny side up eggs. Wait, boy, he says, uh.

683
00:45:01,040 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: Usually I make sure that you agreed all these things

684
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,919
Speaker 1: before I take you in. But I heard your wish.

685
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:10,600
Speaker 1: You want to be a puppet player, and I you

686
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,640
Speaker 1: want to be a puppet and I can give you

687
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,600
Speaker 1: that magical dream to come true. I don't I don't

688
00:45:15,600 --> 00:45:18,960
Speaker 1: want to be a puppet myself, and so it is true.

689
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:24,520
Speaker 1: Look at you. No, it's their fury. I'm blue or

690
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: look and now I'm bringing you to the set of

691
00:45:29,640 --> 00:45:33,319
Speaker 1: a very important TV show, and you would be the star.

692
00:45:34,640 --> 00:45:38,680
Speaker 1: You would be the star. Next up on Fox News,

693
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 1: we got a new opinion commentator. Guy. This guy is hot,

694
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:45,799
Speaker 1: This guy is blue, this guy is furry. He might

695
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:47,480
Speaker 1: look like a puppet to you, but to me, he

696
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:50,040
Speaker 1: looks like an American who tells the truth. Puppet brow,

697
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:51,279
Speaker 1: why don't you come out of here and say what

698
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:56,319
Speaker 1: you gotta say? I don't. I don't want to be here.

699
00:45:56,719 --> 00:46:01,600
Speaker 1: I agree, I completely agree. Okay, back, well that puppet,

700
00:46:01,640 --> 00:46:08,759
Speaker 1: that puppet looks a lot like Scottie him, him, but

701
00:46:08,840 --> 00:46:12,200
Speaker 1: it just looks a lot like you do my passion

702
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:16,520
Speaker 1: to catch up. Hey, new puppet white catch on Fox News.

703
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: You did great. Listen, this is your dressing room and

704
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,920
Speaker 1: we're gonna be ready for you on setting about eleven minutes.

705
00:46:21,960 --> 00:46:23,520
Speaker 1: So let me know if you need anything. We got

706
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:27,719
Speaker 1: a special today amount, Tuna amount. What's up. I don't

707
00:46:27,760 --> 00:46:29,719
Speaker 1: want to be a puppet. I want to be a

708
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 1: real boy. Yeah, no, you're a real boy. You're just

709
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:36,280
Speaker 1: gonna portray one of the puppets on the show. Listen,

710
00:46:36,440 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 1: this is a big gig. I mean, your agents very excited.

711
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:43,640
Speaker 1: Apparently your c p A is as well. So I'm

712
00:46:43,680 --> 00:46:47,239
Speaker 1: just excited for the insurance. Frankly, you know you get that. Yeah, no,

713
00:46:47,440 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 1: of course I do. Ye expect that's to make the money,

714
00:46:50,200 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. There's no words, and so

715
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,719
Speaker 1: I'm gonna make more money than I did last year.

716
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:57,840
Speaker 1: And I barely worked last year, do you know? Yeah, yeah, no,

717
00:46:57,960 --> 00:47:03,959
Speaker 1: I'm I'm just the p A. So you closet. Here's

718
00:47:03,960 --> 00:47:09,800
Speaker 1: your customer, customer, I asked Tucking cars, if do you

719
00:47:09,880 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 1: think we're checking? I mean you still puppy boy? Take

720
00:47:12,600 --> 00:47:16,200
Speaker 1: my place and take you didn't wash out? You hearing?

721
00:47:17,040 --> 00:47:23,160
Speaker 1: Who's that man has his hand up your Yeah, honey,

722
00:47:23,280 --> 00:47:25,759
Speaker 1: the ship I heard at work today. I am just

723
00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:29,279
Speaker 1: so underappreciated. You know, I have them all loved. You know,

724
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,800
Speaker 1: I got them all loved, and I got my booming

725
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:33,640
Speaker 1: and you know I'm trying to get trying to get

726
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:36,520
Speaker 1: in the union. That it's just crazy. You know, they

727
00:47:36,600 --> 00:47:38,920
Speaker 1: stole a little boy today. They won't say it. They

728
00:47:39,000 --> 00:47:41,879
Speaker 1: say you got sucking to the TV. They stole a boy.

729
00:47:42,160 --> 00:47:45,200
Speaker 1: I hear all this ship going on. I hear it all,

730
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 1: and they just want to say it's fucking normal, and

731
00:47:48,239 --> 00:47:51,920
Speaker 1: they want to underappreciate me. You know, I'm doing I'm

732
00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 1: doing half the jobs of everybody out there hunt and

733
00:47:54,440 --> 00:48:00,880
Speaker 1: I just it's crazy abduction. What huh you're talking to me?

734
00:48:02,080 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: I didn't boom myself, you know, So, Linda, that's the

735
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,440
Speaker 1: part we need you to a d R. So if

736
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:13,680
Speaker 1: you want to just give it a shot, um, if

737
00:48:13,680 --> 00:48:15,480
Speaker 1: you can step a little closer to the mic, maybe

738
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:18,800
Speaker 1: a couple of inches, and then, um, you want to

739
00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:20,440
Speaker 1: see the scene again? Or do you want to just

740
00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:34,560
Speaker 1: go on the beeps? That's dudent beat? Okay, take one? Okay,

741
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:39,720
Speaker 1: so all right, so let's let's get you doing those beeps.

742
00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 1: Let's gets you just making those beep noises and then

743
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:45,680
Speaker 1: uh no, we're done. We're gonna play a series of

744
00:48:45,719 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 1: beeps and then just do the beeps. Okay, do you

745
00:48:49,840 --> 00:48:52,640
Speaker 1: hear the beeps? Then you do the beeps? Do you understand? Okay? Yes,

746
00:48:53,640 --> 00:48:55,880
Speaker 1: and it should sound as much like the beeps that

747
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,719
Speaker 1: you hear when you do a d R. I mean,

748
00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 1: you could just base it off the beeps that you're

749
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 1: about to hear. Okay, I don't know why it's important

750
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:06,920
Speaker 1: to get a guy making these with mouth noises. I mean,

751
00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 1: we don't want to get inside the actor's head here.

752
00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:13,200
Speaker 1: Just do you canna hear a serious? Trust you instector

753
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 1: with the Robin Leach? There's a Robber Leech? Or who

754
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 1: is the inside the actors? Robin Leach? That's Lifestyles of

755
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:26,600
Speaker 1: Richard Famous. Oh oh oh, he's fine, Robin Leach. Sorry, Tim,

756
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:30,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes the sound guys like to think out loud. Do

757
00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:32,400
Speaker 1: I need some to you? Do? I need to remind

758
00:49:32,440 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 1: you who I am, gentlemen. You kind recognize me now

759
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,919
Speaker 1: because I've grown up. I was puppet boy's puppet boy.

760
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:43,359
Speaker 1: Oh my god, he's got those dead glass eyes. Yeah

761
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:46,279
Speaker 1: I could see. Yeah, that Scottish turned you into a

762
00:49:46,320 --> 00:49:49,840
Speaker 1: puppet right. Your work in the season finale of season seventeen.

763
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:54,040
Speaker 1: Forget the Emmy award. You want the find that vampire.

764
00:49:55,239 --> 00:50:00,320
Speaker 1: He's my agent. He's my agent. Yeah, so were we.

765
00:50:01,040 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 1: I'll go on the beeps then, yep, we're gonna play

766
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:14,560
Speaker 1: the beeps when you're ready. Peep, peep, peep. You hold up,

767
00:50:14,560 --> 00:50:16,800
Speaker 1: you had an extra beat in there, so let's just

768
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:21,040
Speaker 1: do the beat both is there Robin Leach? Who am

769
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:23,400
Speaker 1: I thinking of? What is the guy's name? James Lipton,

770
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:31,359
Speaker 1: James Lipton, James Lipton, iced tea, just think iced tea. Yeah,

771
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:35,080
Speaker 1: he's on He's on Law and Order SPU Yes, yes

772
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 1: he yes, Okay. Can I just say, um, your reputation

773
00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:46,600
Speaker 1: procedes you and I've never heard of a vampire agent before,

774
00:50:46,840 --> 00:50:49,320
Speaker 1: but as an actor, this is kind of a fantasy

775
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,759
Speaker 1: come true for me on a couple of those big

776
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:55,800
Speaker 1: Buffy the Vampire Slayer fan, but also wanted to be honest,

777
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 1: it doesn't have anything to do with me. That's a

778
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,759
Speaker 1: TV show. I'm an agent, That's what I'm saying. I'd

779
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 1: like to be. I hear they're rebooting Buffy and I'd

780
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:06,520
Speaker 1: like to get on that show. And I assume as

781
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:10,160
Speaker 1: a vampire agent you would have a fast track for me.

782
00:51:10,840 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 1: Let me just ask you really quick, do you think

783
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,920
Speaker 1: that i'd want to We're gonna show about killing them biers.

784
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 1: If I am a vampire, I would like to work

785
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,960
Speaker 1: on that show. Welcome to Chateau Marman. Can I get

786
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:27,120
Speaker 1: you something to drink? Did you want your usual? Yes?

787
00:51:27,200 --> 00:51:30,480
Speaker 1: I'd like to get my usual. Okay, don't announce it.

788
00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,799
Speaker 1: Everybody knows it's blood. It's human blood. I please don't

789
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: announce that. I was put celery and it so itmost

790
00:51:38,040 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 1: like a bloody Mary. Thank you? Yeah, excuse me. Hello,

791
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:52,640
Speaker 1: my name is xanthorpe A sixteen. I'm from the year

792
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:58,279
Speaker 1: twenty two. Uh in chlamydia four Uh. Don't order. Don't

793
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 1: order that human blood. But it's on special. I know,

794
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:05,640
Speaker 1: I know it's on special. It's tempting, but it changes

795
00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:07,760
Speaker 1: all of human history. If you order that human blood.

796
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 1: I kind of have it written down already. So it's

797
00:52:12,320 --> 00:52:15,520
Speaker 1: Oh no, I'm here too late. I'm here too late.

798
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:19,480
Speaker 1: What happens? What happens in the future if I bring

799
00:52:19,600 --> 00:52:27,520
Speaker 1: up chee cups of blood? Well, I mean I get audited.

800
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,680
Speaker 1: I get audited it for money that I didn't make. Okay,

801
00:52:33,760 --> 00:52:36,720
Speaker 1: that seems like a you problem, and I want some blood.

802
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:40,840
Speaker 1: That's a youth problem. I mean, I can't explain that.

803
00:52:41,040 --> 00:52:43,400
Speaker 1: You know, it's it's a classic butterfly flaps its wings,

804
00:52:43,600 --> 00:52:51,520
Speaker 1: you know. Sorry, I just thought of Mariah Carrie what

805
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:56,080
Speaker 1: I said said Hope, I do still very much. You

806
00:52:56,120 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: want the blood, Okay, all right, I'm right back. Sorry, Dorpe, No,

807
00:53:01,440 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: that's all right. Uh boy, this is awkward. Um yeah,

808
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 1: you're really interrupting something here. It just got over a loss. Well,

809
00:53:11,880 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 1: I guess I might as well have a drink of

810
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 1: the Chats Marmont while it's around for one more week.

811
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: It's only around for one more week. Oh sorry, sorry

812
00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:29,920
Speaker 1: about that. Oh my god. Spoiler alert, cheez. It's because

813
00:53:29,960 --> 00:53:33,440
Speaker 1: we ordered the human blood. No, the different thing entirely.

814
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:40,480
Speaker 1: It's like earthquake, natural disaster. I shouldn't. I just don't

815
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:43,759
Speaker 1: understand what could make a restaurant so popular. Clothes no,

816
00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:51,160
Speaker 1: like s flood. So you're a vampire, a Scottish vampire

817
00:53:51,239 --> 00:53:55,720
Speaker 1: puppet who works as an agent. I'm not the puppet.

818
00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 1: You're not the puppet. I'm not the puppet. I know

819
00:53:59,239 --> 00:54:03,240
Speaker 1: I have puppet like features, but I am full flish

820
00:54:03,320 --> 00:54:11,359
Speaker 1: everybody down, all right now, this isn't supposed to happen.

821
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:15,239
Speaker 1: What is happening. There's a vampire time traveler and he's

822
00:54:15,280 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 1: gotta die. And if he doesn't die, and everyone's gonna

823
00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,759
Speaker 1: I'll just kill him, just kill him. He's right there there,

824
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:23,480
Speaker 1: you are, You said, up, a bitch, what's your name,

825
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,520
Speaker 1: laptop name is Sandthorpe. Stop putting that gun in. I'm

826
00:54:26,560 --> 00:54:31,000
Speaker 1: not the verywhere laptop. All right, you're gonna get it's

827
00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:33,239
Speaker 1: the guy in the cape with the fangs. He's right there.

828
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,719
Speaker 1: He's drinking human blunt. I don't think these people is

829
00:54:36,719 --> 00:54:40,680
Speaker 1: a been fire devilize my man, and I ain't gonna

830
00:54:40,719 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 1: take it anymore. All right. The world is thirty thousand

831
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 1: years old and it doesn't have a future. Do you

832
00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:49,400
Speaker 1: understand that it does have a future? My name is Sandthorpe,

833
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 1: a sixteen, and I am from the future. Shut the

834
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:56,160
Speaker 1: funk up, all right. Listen. If you're from the future,

835
00:54:56,160 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: then tell me how many cigarettes do I have in

836
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:04,040
Speaker 1: my pockets? I mean you probably have like six. Anything

837
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:06,120
Speaker 1: more would be too much. But I'm sorry, I don't

838
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:11,279
Speaker 1: mean to interrupt. Oh answer like that, answer like six six?

839
00:55:11,440 --> 00:55:20,560
Speaker 1: No more than six six? Let me see. No, No,

840
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 1: it's okay, I'll keep waiting. Um it's our third date.

841
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:31,879
Speaker 1: He wouldn't stand me up. I don't think you know him.

842
00:55:32,480 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 1: I don't. All right, Look, we're going to close up soon. Things.

843
00:55:34,680 --> 00:55:36,319
Speaker 1: His names Santhorpe. I mean we came here on our

844
00:55:36,360 --> 00:55:38,799
Speaker 1: first date, so like our third day, were like, ma'am,

845
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: I don't know him. Listen, I uh we got about

846
00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:43,320
Speaker 1: twenty men until we closed down. We do, uh, we

847
00:55:43,400 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 1: do have Today's Tonight special. But he's special, and I

848
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,440
Speaker 1: think that's the difference. Have you met someone really special?

849
00:55:48,880 --> 00:55:54,520
Speaker 1: I have? Yeah, look what we have a sad woman

850
00:55:54,560 --> 00:55:56,120
Speaker 1: special if you want to do that. It's two bottles

851
00:55:56,120 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: of Jimmy? Did you hear the eighties six the tournament?

852
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:06,040
Speaker 1: I just didn't? You just did? Oh? I think I'm

853
00:56:06,080 --> 00:56:10,320
Speaker 1: gonna have to go with the Settleman special. Excuse me,

854
00:56:10,360 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 1: I couldn't. I couldn't help it over here that your

855
00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:17,600
Speaker 1: date stood you up. Yeah, yeah, you heard right. Well

856
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:21,200
Speaker 1: that's uh, he ain't a man. I'll say that much.

857
00:56:22,080 --> 00:56:27,000
Speaker 1: My my wife divorced me after after our son got

858
00:56:27,040 --> 00:56:30,880
Speaker 1: pulled into the TV and became a puppet. Also, I

859
00:56:31,000 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 1: just had a really really busy tax season client making

860
00:56:34,320 --> 00:56:38,719
Speaker 1: sixty thousand, got got audited for one tenth the gross

861
00:56:38,840 --> 00:56:43,279
Speaker 1: national product of this country. Wow, he's so smart. Well,

862
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:47,400
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a c p A. Can I ask you

863
00:56:47,440 --> 00:56:51,000
Speaker 1: a quick, a quick numbers question. Although it's October, it's

864
00:56:54,120 --> 00:57:00,480
Speaker 1: um if of my heart was invested in saying another

865
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:06,880
Speaker 1: man and he took six of that tax free. Um,

866
00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:13,359
Speaker 1: what one under that? I got that? Okay? What right

867
00:57:13,440 --> 00:57:17,120
Speaker 1: offs would you say are available to me? Okaytt are

868
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 1: you please please please please please? Okay? Um, Well, the

869
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: first thing I would want to do is take a

870
00:57:25,360 --> 00:57:28,600
Speaker 1: take an earned income tax credit. Oh god, oh you

871
00:57:28,720 --> 00:57:30,840
Speaker 1: are bad, you are bad. I don't need this, Merlow.

872
00:57:30,880 --> 00:57:32,840
Speaker 1: I don't need this, Merlow. I don't. I don't want them, Merlow,

873
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: don't pour it on the floor, don't. I don't need it.

874
00:57:35,120 --> 00:57:39,720
Speaker 1: I don't want Well, that's thick, Merlow. Is that human blood?

875
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:46,280
Speaker 1: That's our show for today. Oh, welcome back to everybody

876
00:57:46,400 --> 00:57:49,120
Speaker 1: down on the ground. I want to thank all of

877
00:57:49,160 --> 00:57:53,920
Speaker 1: our alchemists, Jackie hu wait, thank you so much. Thanks

878
00:57:53,960 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 1: for having me guys. Yeah, amazing. Um, is there anything

879
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:01,800
Speaker 1: you'd like to make tune in terms of where folks

880
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:06,640
Speaker 1: can find anything of interest to you. Sure, you can

881
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:09,800
Speaker 1: find me on Instagram. My Instagram handle is at Jacqueline,

882
00:58:09,880 --> 00:58:13,200
Speaker 1: Underscore j A c k L and Underscore U W

883
00:58:13,400 --> 00:58:16,480
Speaker 1: e H. You can also find me on YouTube playing

884
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,040
Speaker 1: with the Smash crew. So you'll find me a Smash

885
00:58:19,120 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 1: Games and the Smash Sketch channel. So thank you for

886
00:58:24,680 --> 00:58:27,280
Speaker 1: coming back. Much appreciated. Chice. I love you guys, your stuff.

887
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:32,440
Speaker 1: James Cney, do you love us still? I sure do?

888
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:36,560
Speaker 1: I sure do. All right, I didn't realize you did

889
00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:40,640
Speaker 1: smash stuff. I've known a long time ago, in a

890
00:58:40,680 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 1: different life, knew them. I was in I think a

891
00:58:42,720 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 1: smash nation or something some show that they did. It

892
00:58:45,680 --> 00:58:47,840
Speaker 1: was the last time I was over there. But uh,

893
00:58:48,120 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 1: that's really cool. I'm gonna check that out. Yeah, since

894
00:58:50,560 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: I tuned in come through. Awesome? All right, James, thank

895
00:58:56,000 --> 00:58:59,720
Speaker 1: you for that, and Craig, I have no connection to

896
00:58:59,760 --> 00:59:03,880
Speaker 1: small whatsoever. A A listener, Doug Bame rights and wanting

897
00:59:03,920 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 1: to know the difference between further and further. Yes, uh,

898
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:10,480
Speaker 1: I always thought the rule of thumb was it's further

899
00:59:10,880 --> 00:59:14,760
Speaker 1: for time and farther for distance. Apparently they are more

900
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:19,880
Speaker 1: interchangeable than I thought. But an American English, typically farther

901
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:23,560
Speaker 1: is used to refer to it to actual physical distances,

902
00:59:23,920 --> 00:59:27,840
Speaker 1: and further is more of like metaphorical distances. Further can

903
00:59:27,880 --> 00:59:31,720
Speaker 1: also be a verb like to further your point of view,

904
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:38,600
Speaker 1: or an adverb like moreover. Uh So, further has more uses,

905
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:43,640
Speaker 1: but but there pretty much interchangeable further to your point.

906
00:59:43,920 --> 00:59:49,000
Speaker 1: Thank you my pleasure, Christova Rods, thank you for having me.

907
00:59:49,480 --> 00:59:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put Craig on the spot here with one.

908
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 1: I was just thinking yesterday, well, I mean it's not

909
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 1: it's not even correct usage. Maybe it's just definition which

910
00:59:58,160 --> 01:00:01,600
Speaker 1: I can look up. But namesake if something is am

911
01:00:01,760 --> 01:00:05,480
Speaker 1: I someone's namesake or are they my namesake? Is it

912
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:07,880
Speaker 1: whoever came first is the namesake of the thing? You

913
01:00:07,960 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 1: know what I'm saying. I think you're both namesakes. If

914
01:00:10,400 --> 01:00:13,280
Speaker 1: you have the same name both, it's not that one

915
01:00:13,280 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 1: he follows the other. I think it just means you're

916
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:19,439
Speaker 1: the same. That makes sense. I yield my time. Thank

917
01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:25,360
Speaker 1: you for that. Joey German. Yes, yes, I was told

918
01:00:25,880 --> 01:00:27,480
Speaker 1: by the lady of the house to ask you to

919
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 1: say out loud a casta Celio, casta Celio. Yeah, it's

920
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:39,880
Speaker 1: the one of ours of Ice Ice house. Yeah. Sure,

921
01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:42,640
Speaker 1: But apparently she was looking for you to say because

922
01:00:42,680 --> 01:00:47,919
Speaker 1: she thought it would be in a strange voice. Celia's vice.

923
01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,439
Speaker 1: I also want to say, go heat. And I don't

924
01:00:50,440 --> 01:00:52,480
Speaker 1: even know if Ice is Celio. I think it's Celio.

925
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:59,200
Speaker 1: But something like that, um, something like that, right, Cillo

926
01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:02,360
Speaker 1: we'll look at the Starbucks plen there you go. But

927
01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,400
Speaker 1: go Heat, Go Miami Heat. Let's sucking sweep the Lakers.

928
01:01:05,840 --> 01:01:09,000
Speaker 1: Let's bring the championship back home. Baby three or five?

929
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 1: Fucking die hold on, this is wild, this is the

930
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,760
Speaker 1: Finals might be over by the time this episode. Thank

931
01:01:21,640 --> 01:01:26,000
Speaker 1: our engineering producer of the stars, Mr Doug Baine. Find

932
01:01:26,040 --> 01:01:30,960
Speaker 1: folks that I heard mediamp bump bump bump orgasm, and

933
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:33,080
Speaker 1: I thank you as your host, Kevin Pollock, Please be

934
01:01:33,160 --> 01:01:35,960
Speaker 1: kind of each other. And uh, remember to wear a

935
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,640
Speaker 1: mask when you go outside. Apparently it does some good.

936
01:01:39,440 --> 01:01:43,120
Speaker 1: And m Yeah, I appreciate all of your emails and

937
01:01:43,200 --> 01:01:45,480
Speaker 1: your support of this show. It means the world to us.

938
01:01:46,080 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: We enjoy the hell out of doing it, and I

939
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:50,920
Speaker 1: love hearing from you about your enjoyment of it or

940
01:01:51,040 --> 01:01:55,360
Speaker 1: like they're in, they're up. Uh furthermore, Yeah, that's it.

941
01:01:55,960 --> 01:01:59,120
Speaker 1: I think that's it and uh and go heat until

942
01:01:59,200 --> 01:02:11,160
Speaker 1: next time. And I