1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:04,280 Speaker 1: It is time. It is time for today's Strawberry Letter, 2 00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,920 Speaker 1: and if you need advice on relationships, on dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:12,080 Speaker 1: and more, please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve Harvey 4 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:15,480 Speaker 1: f M and click Submit Strawberry Letters. Buggle up and 5 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:17,200 Speaker 1: hold on tight. We got it for you. Here. It 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:25,759 Speaker 1: is the Strawberry Letter subject. I need it, and I 7 00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: need it now. Dear Stephen Shirley. I've been with my 8 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: man for two years and we have lived together for 9 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 1: the past year. We have a really good relationship, but 10 00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 1: there's one problem. He will not have any kind of 11 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:42,959 Speaker 1: sexual relationships with me sexual relations with me, and this 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,120 Speaker 1: has been going on since we started living together. He 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 1: says he wants to wait until we are married, but 14 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:52,200 Speaker 1: he has not even proposed. We're not at that point 15 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,120 Speaker 1: in our relationship yet. He told me that when God 16 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: puts it in his heart, he will ask me to 17 00:00:57,520 --> 00:01:00,840 Speaker 1: marry him. When we first started dating, we had sex 18 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: all of the time. I am fifty six years old 19 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: and he is sixty years old, and I think it's 20 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,360 Speaker 1: a little late in life for him to be practicing celibacy. 21 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,120 Speaker 1: We sleep in the same bed every night and he 22 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:15,600 Speaker 1: won't even cuddle with me because he says that leads 23 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: to intimacy. He sometimes sleeps in the guest room if 24 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,760 Speaker 1: he thinks I'm trying to get frisky with him. He 25 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: wants he wants us to go to a Christian counselor 26 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: so I can see things from his point of view. 27 00:01:28,319 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: I do believe in waiting for sex before marriage, but 28 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,640 Speaker 1: at our age, I have a stressful job and some 29 00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 1: days I just want to come home and relieve some 30 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:40,560 Speaker 1: stress with some good old sex. If he does not 31 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 1: give it, he does not give me a wedding date soon, 32 00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,480 Speaker 1: I don't know if I can stay in this sexless relationship. 33 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: I am ready to move out and move on with 34 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,600 Speaker 1: my life. What do you think I should do? Please 35 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:56,200 Speaker 1: help now. It's really hard to stop with the sex. 36 00:01:56,240 --> 00:02:00,720 Speaker 1: It's hard once you started, okay, but your man has 37 00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:03,280 Speaker 1: managed to do it for some reason, and for a 38 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 1: very good one, I might add, because he wants to 39 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,399 Speaker 1: be a good Christian and it doesn't matter to him 40 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,280 Speaker 1: your ages. He says he's waiting for God to put 41 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:14,920 Speaker 1: it in his heart to propose to you. And here's 42 00:02:14,919 --> 00:02:18,560 Speaker 1: a crazy part. You agree with him on a certain level. 43 00:02:18,919 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: You say you believe in waiting for sex before marriage. Again, 44 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:26,200 Speaker 1: you agree with him on that point. But it's not 45 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:30,440 Speaker 1: because of God that you believe him or you agree 46 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: with him. It's not because of Christianity that you believe 47 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:37,600 Speaker 1: him agree with him. It's because of your ages. You're 48 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,680 Speaker 1: fifty sixty's sixty, and I just say to you, you 49 00:02:40,720 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 1: cannot have it both ways. You can't. Either you're with 50 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,799 Speaker 1: him on this or you're not. And like you say, 51 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: you're gonna move on, move out of this relationship and 52 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,120 Speaker 1: move on with your life. You got to make a 53 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,520 Speaker 1: decision here. If you want the cuddle and if you 54 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: want to relieve your stress, if you've had a particularly 55 00:02:56,560 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 1: stressful day and you want to have sex with him, well, 56 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:01,880 Speaker 1: this is not your guy because he doesn't want to. 57 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: He's waiting. Okay, he's cut you off. I mean, he 58 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 1: did offer you a sort of an olive branch, and 59 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: that's inviting you to go to a Christian conflint with 60 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: him so you could see his point of view. So 61 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: if you don't see his point of view, if you're 62 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: not feeling what he's talking about, you have to move on. 63 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:23,600 Speaker 1: This is not your man, Steve. This letter is nothing 64 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: but a letter feel with contradictions. I could never get 65 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:32,240 Speaker 1: a bead on what she wanted or what she was 66 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:35,400 Speaker 1: talking about. She's been with a man for two years. 67 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:40,280 Speaker 1: They've lived together for the past year. We had a 68 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: really good relationship, but there's one problem. He would not 69 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:46,080 Speaker 1: have any kind of sexual relationship with me. And this 70 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 1: has been going on since we started living together. So 71 00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 1: they've been dating for two years. They lived together for 72 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: one year. After they move in, he stopped having sex 73 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: with her. He says he wants to wait until we 74 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 1: are married, but he ain't even proposed. So now he 75 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,720 Speaker 1: say he wanted today get married. But then you say 76 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: he hasn't even proposed to you, And then you turn 77 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,520 Speaker 1: around and say, were not at that point in our 78 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:17,400 Speaker 1: relationship yet the heir are you living with him? Fall 79 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: It's so much that this block of information right here, 80 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 1: not to mention that they old and ought to know 81 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 1: better on all levels. She fifty six, he's sixty, Like, 82 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:36,640 Speaker 1: this is some new stuff. You ain't never heard of this. 83 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: You've been together for two years, it had sex for 84 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,719 Speaker 1: one year, you moved in together, you ain't had no sex. 85 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: He say he gonna wait till they married, but then 86 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:51,919 Speaker 1: he ain't proposed to you. But then you turn around 87 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:55,360 Speaker 1: and say, we ain't at that point now relationship yet. 88 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,039 Speaker 1: Why you live with him and want to have sex 89 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:02,200 Speaker 1: at sixty and you don't want to married. He told 90 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: me that when God puts it in his heart, he 91 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 1: will ask me to marry him. Oh, now you dragged 92 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:13,200 Speaker 1: the Lord into this, so I guess the Lord put 93 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: it in his hard to hear you move in. That 94 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:23,560 Speaker 1: was the Lord. When we first started dating, we had 95 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 1: sex all the time. Women, Hold up, we don't win 96 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 1: from a sexless marriage, sexless relationship till we had sex 97 00:05:30,960 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: all the time. I'm fifty six, he's sixty. I think 98 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,000 Speaker 1: it's a little late in life for him to be 99 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: practicing celibacy. Okay, let me mark that because we're gonna 100 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,200 Speaker 1: come back to that. We sleep in the same bed 101 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,479 Speaker 1: every night, and he won't even cuddle with me because 102 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: he said that will lead to intimacy. He's sometimes sleep 103 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,080 Speaker 1: in the guest room if he thinks I'm trying to 104 00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 1: get frisky with it. He wants us to go to 105 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,960 Speaker 1: Christian counseling so I can see things from his point 106 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:05,440 Speaker 1: of you Christian counselor y'all live together? You want sex? 107 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,039 Speaker 1: He don't y'all and had sex all the time for 108 00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:13,920 Speaker 1: a whole year. He said, wait till he proposed to you. 109 00:06:13,920 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 1: You don't think y'all marriage at that stage yet, man, 110 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,680 Speaker 1: I want to come home and leave some stress with 111 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:23,480 Speaker 1: some good old set. Now the hold up if he 112 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:27,360 Speaker 1: does not give me a wedding date soon, didn't you 113 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:32,320 Speaker 1: just say, y'all relationship, ain't that point yet? I don't 114 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 1: know if I can stay in this sex situation. I'm 115 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,599 Speaker 1: ready to move. I move on with my life. What 116 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,920 Speaker 1: you think I should do? I think you should retype 117 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 1: this damn now. I'm thinking the rest of it that 118 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:46,320 Speaker 1: when I come back. That's right. We'll have part two 119 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:49,480 Speaker 1: of Steve's response coming up at twenty three after subjects 120 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 1: I need it and I need it now right after this. 121 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:59,560 Speaker 1: You're listening, all right, Steve, Let's recap today's strawberry letter 122 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:05,120 Speaker 1: and none to recaptain these is two old fools, just 123 00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 1: two old fools that they got together and is acting foolish. 124 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:12,600 Speaker 1: It's a letter of none. Be complex, Flix. She've been 125 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: with demand two years, you moved in together for one year. 126 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:20,440 Speaker 1: For the past year, you had no sex, sexist marriage 127 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: because he said he wants to wait until we marry. 128 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: But he ain't even proposed to this lady. And then 129 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: she say, but we ain't at that point in our 130 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:35,520 Speaker 1: relationship yet. Then he told her when God put it 131 00:07:35,560 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 1: on his heart, he gonna ask her to marry him. 132 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:43,160 Speaker 1: Now she says, she fifty six and he's sixty. Then 133 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,960 Speaker 1: she said, this is a good when y'all. And I 134 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:48,960 Speaker 1: think it's a little late in life for him to 135 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:53,840 Speaker 1: be practicing celibacy. Let me go back down in the letter. 136 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,920 Speaker 1: She said this right here. He wants us to go 137 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:59,840 Speaker 1: to Christian counseling so I can see things from his point. 138 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: I do believe in waiting for sex before marriage. What, lady, lady, 139 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: you just said. I think it's a little lady in 140 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: life for him to be practicing celibacy. Then you turn 141 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: around and said, I do believe in waiting for sex 142 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: before marriage. Then you said, but at our age, seeing 143 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 1: got ages on it? Now how that works. I don't 144 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,600 Speaker 1: believe in killing nobody. But if you ate it, though, 145 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:37,839 Speaker 1: and you stab somebody that ought to be cool, I 146 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: don't know if I can stay in this sexless relationship. 147 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: I'm ready to move out and move on with my life. Lady, 148 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: you fifty six? Come on now, I'm you know how 149 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,040 Speaker 1: hearty is fine? Age that love at that age, somebody 150 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: really love you want you. I don't know what you 151 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:58,400 Speaker 1: ought to do. I don't even care because you're confused. 152 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:02,880 Speaker 1: You do believe in waiting on sex for marriage. You 153 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:06,720 Speaker 1: think he crazy for being celibate at this age. You 154 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,040 Speaker 1: he said he don't want to marry you till he 155 00:09:09,080 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: get married, but he ain't proposed to you. But then 156 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:15,760 Speaker 1: you said, our relationship is not at that point yet. 157 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,079 Speaker 1: But then you said, I don't know if I could 158 00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,400 Speaker 1: say I'm ready to move out and move on then 159 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:24,880 Speaker 1: he if he don't ask me to marry him soon, 160 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: if I don't get a wedding date soon, Really, man, 161 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,680 Speaker 1: y'all need to break up. That's what your heart needed 162 00:09:35,679 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 1: to do. And stop typing, set your computer down, get off, 163 00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: don't call it Steve Harvey down. Stop this latter made 164 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,760 Speaker 1: all out here, everybody listening to it. I think, going, 165 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:59,840 Speaker 1: what is she talking about? Huh? Can he still perform? 166 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:06,320 Speaker 1: I don't know, probably not. What happened in a year 167 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 1: you know, could have lost it? She crazy? Never know. 168 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you nothing. I ain't attracting, picked up 169 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:21,120 Speaker 1: a lot of weight. Whoa, he could have picked up 170 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 1: a lot of weight. You know, she could have picked 171 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,719 Speaker 1: up a lot of weight. About the stress stuff, it's 172 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,120 Speaker 1: kind of the stress and it shows in her pens. 173 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:36,679 Speaker 1: She's really going through. She needed to quit her job. Wow, 174 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: it's yourself. It's crazy. I'm crazy crazy, it really is. 175 00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:49,319 Speaker 1: She wants what he's not giving her, so to move on. 176 00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:55,720 Speaker 1: Could it be somebody else for him? It could be, 177 00:10:55,840 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: but he didn't want her to move sound like, yeah, 178 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: she'd have moved in. He's laying up there, going right, man, 179 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:14,440 Speaker 1: moving this. He just seen some things since you moved 180 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:20,000 Speaker 1: in that ain't attractive that week. Im about to shoot 181 00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:23,560 Speaker 1: you that you don't left out that bad room? He 182 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: to walk in behind you, And who the hell does 183 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:38,000 Speaker 1: she do in here? I'm all on her. Well, I'm 184 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,720 Speaker 1: just telling you it could be on him too. What 185 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:51,360 Speaker 1: is that bathroom? Get your life? Have you ever been 186 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 1: on somebody's house and open up the medicine cabinet? Oh? Yeah, yeah, real? 187 00:12:01,559 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 1: What do you have? I'm sitting I'm reading stuff. I said, okay, 188 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:09,559 Speaker 1: this is because I ain't got none of this. Let 189 00:12:09,559 --> 00:12:18,760 Speaker 1: me not shake nobody's hands. That's serious medicine right there. 190 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,080 Speaker 1: But see if he won't even cuddle with her because 191 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: he says that leads to intimacy. He don't like her normal, 192 00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:30,760 Speaker 1: that's what he don't like her, and he cut the 193 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 1: sex out. He thinks she'll leave. Yeah, well she needs 194 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 1: she needs to leave. Where she going, well, maybe to 195 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,280 Speaker 1: someone who would want to you know, she could be 196 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 1: intimate with her. Yeah, that's anywhere until they find out 197 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:49,319 Speaker 1: she craze. I'm not letting you blame this all on. 198 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:54,360 Speaker 1: Sure you read this letter. I did. You won't blame 199 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,680 Speaker 1: anybody typed this letter. Read it over and the impressed scene. 200 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: All right, guys, we got to get out of here. 201 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: You can post your thoughts on today's Strawberry Letter. It's 202 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,559 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM, and check out our Strawberry Letter podcast 203 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: on demand. Okay, you're listening to this Steve Harvey Morning 204 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: Show