WEBVTT - Dear Chiquis: The Creative Process Behind Making an Album, Helping My Son Grieve and Finding the Motivation to Live

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<v Speaker 1>Hello everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the

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<v Speaker 1>voicemail box for Dear Cheekies. I'm here to give you

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<v Speaker 1>advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe

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<v Speaker 1>you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with

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<v Speaker 1>your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how

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<v Speaker 1>to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.

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<v Speaker 1>Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember

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<v Speaker 1>these are my thoughts and opinions. And if you're suffering

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<v Speaker 1>from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from

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<v Speaker 1>a qualified professional. All right, now go ahead and leave

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<v Speaker 1>your question at the sound of the beat.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello Cheekyes, Oh my god, I love you so much girl.

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<v Speaker 2>I met you in your Los Angeles concert. I remember

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<v Speaker 2>askaying on top of you.

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<v Speaker 3>Girl.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, I'm sorry. You've been an inspiration for

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<v Speaker 2>me for years now and I'm in the process of

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<v Speaker 2>doing music as well. Funny enough, you inspired the name

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<v Speaker 2>of my new album. I'm gonna name it King B

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<v Speaker 2>And I just want to know how is it for

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<v Speaker 2>you doing Abjarna? How is it like you know, the process,

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<v Speaker 2>the ideas, How did it all come together?

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<v Speaker 1>Ooh Alexis Well, thank you for going to my concert.

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<v Speaker 1>First of all, I don't remember you being on top

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<v Speaker 1>of me or anyone. I don't know, but either way,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm sure we had a good time, and I hope

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<v Speaker 1>you had a great time in my concert. I love

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<v Speaker 1>the name for your album, King B. Love that for you,

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<v Speaker 1>So you know what, I am very traditional. We live

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<v Speaker 1>in a world that everything is like single, single singles.

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<v Speaker 1>I like to complete things, which is why it's so

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<v Speaker 1>important for me to have a complete album. And what

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<v Speaker 1>I do usually is I think of a concept and

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<v Speaker 1>now you have your concept. You have King B. So

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<v Speaker 1>what does that mean to you? Right? Like? What does

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<v Speaker 1>that name do to your heart until your soul every

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<v Speaker 1>time you say it out loud. That's what I did

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<v Speaker 1>with Aberherna. It wasn't a thing for me. It like, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a freaking queen f everybody. No, it was like,

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<v Speaker 1>how can I inspire people through my story through my music?

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<v Speaker 1>And I want to tell a story, which is why

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<v Speaker 1>I have an intro in the album, and I have

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<v Speaker 1>interludes and I have an outro because that's what's gonna

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<v Speaker 1>complete it. I love just completing things, so there has

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<v Speaker 1>to be a beginning and end in the middle. So

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<v Speaker 1>that's why that album is so like that. And I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like every album here on out is going to

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<v Speaker 1>be like that. And that's what I would just suggest, like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>asking yourself, Okay, how do I feel? What makes me

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<v Speaker 1>feel like a king be? What is a king be?

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<v Speaker 1>How can I inspire other people through this name?

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<v Speaker 3>You know?

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<v Speaker 1>It's like having a mission behind everything you do is

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<v Speaker 1>so important, not just doing it to do it, Like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you like music and great, but why are you gonna

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<v Speaker 1>record the songs that you're recording? Can you defend them?

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<v Speaker 1>Have you live that? Do you feel it? Can you

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<v Speaker 1>make other people feel it? You know what I mean?

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<v Speaker 1>Like all that is so important, Like I just don't

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<v Speaker 1>sing songs to sing songs even like certain words that

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<v Speaker 1>don't make me feel comfortable and have more of like

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<v Speaker 1>a negative connotation, I remove it and I change it

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<v Speaker 1>for something positive. I'm just very I believe in the

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<v Speaker 1>power of tongue, and like what I say and what

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<v Speaker 1>I speak and what I sing, I feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 1>manifesting at the same time. So just keep all that

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<v Speaker 1>in mind and just know what is the core value

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<v Speaker 1>in this album when you're doing it and when you

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<v Speaker 1>do that and you do it from a place of

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<v Speaker 1>love and comes from the heart. It reaches the heart.

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<v Speaker 1>So I hope that helps. I cannot wait to hear it,

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<v Speaker 1>to hear your album. Go on, King B do your thang,

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<v Speaker 1>Do your thang. Alrighty guys. Our next question comes from Alexandra.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey, Cheeky's just needed some maybe encouragement or words that

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<v Speaker 4>can help me help my son just cope with the

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<v Speaker 4>morning of his father that passed away about two years ago.

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<v Speaker 4>But had times, you know, he said, he.

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<v Speaker 3>Feels very angry, upset, and sometimes I'm just last in

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<v Speaker 3>words of what to tell him, what to say to

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<v Speaker 3>encourage him, and you know, keep on going through.

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<v Speaker 4>The right chat because he's a great kid.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh, Alexandra, I'm so sorry. Oh it's so tough, especially

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<v Speaker 1>on boys when they lose their dad. Is just I

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<v Speaker 1>saw it with Johnny, my brother, when he lost his dad,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, a boy needs his dad, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>and especially if they lose them to a passing Hugh.

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<v Speaker 1>So I totally get it, and I think you know me,

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<v Speaker 1>I am all about therapy and the five stages of

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<v Speaker 1>grief are very real. It takes some of us a

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<v Speaker 1>little longer. And even though it's been two years. It's

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<v Speaker 1>just even my mom passed away, what almost eleven years ago,

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<v Speaker 1>and still still there are days when I am like,

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<v Speaker 1>what the f is happening? Like how did this happen?

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<v Speaker 1>How is this my life? But what has helped me

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<v Speaker 1>so much is understanding those five stages of grief, and

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<v Speaker 1>I think maybe buying him a book. I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how old he is, but buying him a book on

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<v Speaker 1>that so he doesn't feel that he's all alone, you

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<v Speaker 1>know what I mean? In this pain. It's gonna take

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<v Speaker 1>some time and prayer, and I think just for him

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<v Speaker 1>to know that he has you and that he has

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<v Speaker 1>your support will definitely help. And if you can some therapy,

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<v Speaker 1>therapy is just wonderful, some counseling, some life coaching, something

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<v Speaker 1>to just help him gets this, get to just release

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<v Speaker 1>all these feelings and these thoughts that he has so

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<v Speaker 1>that it doesn't become resentment to life, to just everything

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<v Speaker 1>that happened.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 1>I am definitely praying for both of you, And just

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<v Speaker 1>tell him he probably I don't know if he knows

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<v Speaker 1>who I am, but just tell him I know what

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<v Speaker 1>he's feeling. I understand, and I'm sending him a big hug,

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<v Speaker 1>and he's not alone in this pain. So ugh, I

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<v Speaker 1>just I wish I could hug him like seriously and

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<v Speaker 1>just tell him everything is gonna be okay, but it's

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<v Speaker 1>gonna take some time. Just be patient and remind him

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<v Speaker 1>how much he's loved and that he has you, and

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<v Speaker 1>that God is on his side, and that his dad

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<v Speaker 1>is an angel watching over him. And to have peace

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<v Speaker 1>because he's no longer suffering. That is what gives me peace,

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<v Speaker 1>that my mom is in a better place, she's not

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<v Speaker 1>suffering here in this world. De mando unavrasta. I send you, guys,

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<v Speaker 1>lots of love, light and love. So thank you, Alexandra.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope that helps. Okay, guys, So we have another

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<v Speaker 1>question and it comes from an anonymous listener. Okay, let's see, Hello, chickies,

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<v Speaker 1>I just wanted to know what's your thought are on

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<v Speaker 1>couple's therapy?

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<v Speaker 5>Do you think it.

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<v Speaker 1>Works, like even if you're not married?

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<v Speaker 4>Like, what is your thought on couple's therapy?

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<v Speaker 3>Ooh?

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<v Speaker 1>I love therapy. I love therapy. I wish I knew

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<v Speaker 1>your name, but it's okay. Don't worry you guys. If

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<v Speaker 1>you can say your name, please say your name, if

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<v Speaker 1>you want to just keep it a secret, I get it.

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<v Speaker 1>But anyways, I love therapy, huge advocate always in forever.

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<v Speaker 1>I've been doing therapy since I was twelve years old.

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<v Speaker 1>It's been the best thing in my life. I go

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<v Speaker 1>on and off, but anyways, couples therapy, whether you're married

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<v Speaker 1>or you're not, if this is a person you want

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<v Speaker 1>to be with, you want a future with, I highly

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<v Speaker 1>recommend it. I feel we all need therapy, and I

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<v Speaker 1>think sometimes we need a middle person in a relationship

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<v Speaker 1>that's gonna help us see things in a different way,

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<v Speaker 1>because I feel like when we're arguing with our partner,

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<v Speaker 1>you sometimes don't want to agree with them, Like it's

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<v Speaker 1>just like, no, I'm gonna go against you because I

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<v Speaker 1>just don't want to agree with you. But when someone

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<v Speaker 1>else is in the middle and is mediating and is

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<v Speaker 1>telling you, hey, try seeing it this way, it just

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<v Speaker 1>changes your perspective. And it just helps to have someone

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<v Speaker 1>to say hey, even to your partner, like if they're

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<v Speaker 1>not doing something right, it'say, wait, try listening to her,

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<v Speaker 1>to him, this is what they're trying to say. Hearing

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<v Speaker 1>it from someone else always helps. So I think we all,

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<v Speaker 1>all of us need therapy individually and as couples and

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<v Speaker 1>even friends. I just think it's the best thing, and

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<v Speaker 1>it's a good way of just releasing, you know, releasing

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<v Speaker 1>emotions and thoughts and the whole thing. So that is

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<v Speaker 1>my take on a couple's therapy. I say go for it,

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<v Speaker 1>try it, and it'll probably take a little bit to

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<v Speaker 1>find the person that you, guys feel comfortable with. And

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<v Speaker 1>sometimes men don't want women therapists, so you got to

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<v Speaker 1>kind of figure that out too, you know. That's another thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It'll take a little bit of time to find the

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<v Speaker 1>perfect match, so be patient, or maybe you'll just find

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<v Speaker 1>the perfect match right away. I don't know, but thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for your question, and I hope you try it

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<v Speaker 1>if that's what you're thinking. Okay, okay, guys, So our

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<v Speaker 1>last question comes from aj Dear cheekies.

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<v Speaker 5>I'm going through a process of chemotherapy. I got diagnosed

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<v Speaker 5>with cancer. Lef home my cancer, and I find it

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<v Speaker 5>difficult to get back to life and start all over again.

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<v Speaker 5>What's your best advice?

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<v Speaker 1>Hi, Aj, I am so sorry. First of all, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>so sorry that you are going through this right now,

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<v Speaker 1>but I do appreciate you taking the time and having

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<v Speaker 1>that will to live and to feel better because you're

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<v Speaker 1>asking me a question and you want to know, and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to give you the best advice I possibly can.

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<v Speaker 1>First of all, I love that you said dear cheekies.

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<v Speaker 1>I thought was so cute're like dear cheekies. I love

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<v Speaker 1>it so thank you. But look, God has you here

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<v Speaker 1>for a reason, bottom line. And I don't know if

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<v Speaker 1>you believe in God or if you believe in a

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<v Speaker 1>higher power or whatever. I'm a woman of faith and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not trying to put my faith on you or

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<v Speaker 1>anything like that, but a higher power definitely has you here.

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<v Speaker 1>And yes, something is happening in your body, something is

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<v Speaker 1>invading it. But God has you here for a reason.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think holding onto that thought and saying, Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to live in the best way I possibly can.

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<v Speaker 1>For as many days as the world as the universe

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<v Speaker 1>is going to have me here, I'm going to live

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<v Speaker 1>it in the best way I can. I'm gonna love,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm gonna do my best to give back. I think

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<v Speaker 1>when you find that purpose of yes, you're going through

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<v Speaker 1>something difficult, but also like stepping out of yourself and

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<v Speaker 1>saying how can I help someone else, It just makes

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<v Speaker 1>you feel better. How can I make someone else smile?

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<v Speaker 1>And that's the advice I can give you. Like, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>pretty sure your body's going through pain and and I

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<v Speaker 1>wish I could take it all the way. I really do.

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<v Speaker 1>But I also know the power in making others feel good,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think that maybe that will give you the

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<v Speaker 1>will to keep living and to live the best life

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<v Speaker 1>that you possibly can while you're here, and just be

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<v Speaker 1>at peace with that, like knowing that I did all

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<v Speaker 1>of this or you know what, look miracles. I believe

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<v Speaker 1>in miracles, I really do, And something could just happen

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<v Speaker 1>and you can heal your body and I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>I wanna send you. I'm sending you, like right now,

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<v Speaker 1>a big hug filled with energy and healing energy and

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<v Speaker 1>love and peace and joy, and may you have the

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<v Speaker 1>will to live the best life that you possibly can

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<v Speaker 1>because you deserve it. You deserve it. And AJ thank

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<v Speaker 1>you for your question and I want to hear from

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<v Speaker 1>you again, Okay, I really do. I hope that that

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<v Speaker 1>that helped. Okay, well, guys, this does it for this

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<v Speaker 1>week's episode of Dear Cheeky. Please thank you so so

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<v Speaker 1>so much for your questions. If you need help sorting

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<v Speaker 1>through any issue, I'd love to hear about it. Leave

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<v Speaker 1>your questions at speakpipe dot com, slash Cheeky's and Chill podcast,

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<v Speaker 1>and be sure to come back next Wednesday for another

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<v Speaker 1>episode and for more advice. Okay, liso much. This is

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<v Speaker 1>a production of iHeartRadio and the Micaeldura podcast Network. Follow

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<v Speaker 1>us on Instagram at Michael Doura Podcasts and follow me

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<v Speaker 1>Cheeky's That's c h i q u i s. For

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<v Speaker 1>more podcasts from iHeart, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

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<v Speaker 1>or wherever you listen to your favorite podcast, and check

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<v Speaker 1>us out on YouTube.