1 00:00:00,280 --> 00:00:05,520 Speaker 1: What is one lesson that I've taught you to be fierce? Oh, 2 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,920 Speaker 1: fierce is such a word. If you want something, go 3 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:26,360 Speaker 1: for it. Hey, everyone, Emily A body here bringing you 4 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: the final installment of this week's in Focus on Motherhood series. Today, 5 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,800 Speaker 1: for Hurdle, I am bringing on a very special guest 6 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 1: and that is my mama, dina A. 7 00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,200 Speaker 2: It was a special conversation. 8 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: It's interesting as I listen back to the conversation because 9 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 1: as I do every week, I'm always a little analytical, 10 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:51,840 Speaker 1: and I'm wondering what else. 11 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 2: Should I have asked, what else should we have gone into. 12 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,640 Speaker 1: I think what I loved was getting to know a 13 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: little bit more about life before she had both me 14 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: and my brother, and also just more about her perspective 15 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: and what life was like for her on her end 16 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: when I was going through different stages in my life. 17 00:01:06,920 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: In today's episode, she shares what it was like for 18 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:11,960 Speaker 1: her to kind of play pang pong between the two coasts, 19 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,240 Speaker 1: growing up in Long Island, moving to California, moving back 20 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: to the East Coast to get married to my dad, 21 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: how she felt about going back to school after having me, 22 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,800 Speaker 1: and finding a great sense of purpose after she became 23 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:24,440 Speaker 1: a nurse. 24 00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,119 Speaker 2: She also shares some of. 25 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 1: Her proudest moments as a mom, perhaps some of her 26 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,680 Speaker 1: least proud She references leaving me at five months old 27 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: with an. 28 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 2: Eleven year old babysitter. That story is something a mom 29 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:38,320 Speaker 2: I forgive you. 30 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,959 Speaker 1: All in all, just a fun little conversation between a 31 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:46,200 Speaker 1: mom and a daughter, one that I'm happy that we 32 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:48,040 Speaker 1: got to have for the show today. 33 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,760 Speaker 2: To my mom, thank you for doing this with me. 34 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: I love you. Happy Mother's Day. I am so grateful 35 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,160 Speaker 1: for you. And you know what I'm really grateful for. 36 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: I think in the last year it was a really 37 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: special opportunity for us to slow down and to find 38 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:07,240 Speaker 1: more time to just spend with each other, even though 39 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:10,520 Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of that time we actually weren't together 40 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 1: at all. 41 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,679 Speaker 2: So grateful for you. 42 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,880 Speaker 1: I am who I am a large in part because 43 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,560 Speaker 1: of you, and I'm excited for the Hurdlers to get 44 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: to meet and know you a little bit better today. 45 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:25,240 Speaker 1: A huge thanks to the Hurdlers for listening this week 46 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:29,919 Speaker 1: and also for rating and reviewing the show in Apple podcasts. 47 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: Make sure you're following along with the show on social 48 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:36,120 Speaker 1: It's over at Hurdle podcast I am over at Emily 49 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: a body. And with that, let's get to hurdling. 50 00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:50,440 Speaker 2: Today. I'm sitting down with my mom. Hello. 51 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:55,080 Speaker 1: Hello, We're sitting in Milford, Connecticut. This is where my 52 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:57,919 Speaker 1: mom lives. It's a beautiful day. Did you ever think 53 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,240 Speaker 1: that you would live in Milford, Connecticut? No, but I 54 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:02,800 Speaker 1: always wanted to live near the water. 55 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:04,519 Speaker 2: Facts. That's true. 56 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: And so when you came to Connecticut at first, did 57 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: you and Dad think about living by the water. Dad 58 00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:17,240 Speaker 1: wanted the woods. Oh, woods, hard to find woods and 59 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:20,239 Speaker 1: water in the same place. Yeah, there's really not too 60 00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:26,360 Speaker 1: many trees around the Long Island sound facts facts. Okay, 61 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,360 Speaker 1: what I want to start off with with you is 62 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:35,440 Speaker 1: to ask you if you always knew that you wanted 63 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,280 Speaker 1: to be a mom. I always wanted to be a mom. Yeah, 64 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: I wanted the boy first and the girl second. And 65 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:42,480 Speaker 1: I got that. 66 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,040 Speaker 2: You found out that Matt was going to be a 67 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,280 Speaker 2: boy before you had Matt. No, you didn't. 68 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:52,480 Speaker 1: No, but when we were trying to choose baby names, 69 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: we couldn't come up with a girl name before no 70 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: girl name, And when we were going for you, we 71 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,360 Speaker 1: had no boy name. Really, I can't believe I didn't 72 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: know that you didn't find out the gender before matt 73 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: was born. No, Matthew, I had no opportunity to find 74 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: the gender, nor did I really want to. I had 75 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:18,159 Speaker 1: more of an opportunity to find out your gender because 76 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: I had to have an amniocentisis before you were born. Wait, 77 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,480 Speaker 1: so what do you mean you didn't have an opportunity. 78 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,599 Speaker 1: Would that have just been like an additional appointment that 79 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,560 Speaker 1: would have cost more money. Well? Yeah, nowadays they'll tell 80 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,600 Speaker 1: you that they can tell the sex of a baby 81 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: through an ultrasound. 82 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:37,479 Speaker 2: Mm hm, and they're pretty good at it. 83 00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, But when I was pregnant with Matthew, they weren't 84 00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:47,920 Speaker 1: routinely doing ultrasounds. Mm. So I don't remember having one 85 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:48,440 Speaker 1: for him. 86 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:49,960 Speaker 2: Hmm. Interesting. 87 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,880 Speaker 1: I've had friends who have chosen to do both, chosen 88 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 1: to find out and chosen not to find out. Kind 89 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,040 Speaker 1: of of the mindset that, like, when else in your 90 00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,599 Speaker 1: life are you like, actually one hundred percent sent, without 91 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 1: a doubt, completely surprised. 92 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 2: I get it. I was surprised. I was happily surprised. 93 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, both times, both times on the same day, on 94 00:05:10,320 --> 00:05:12,120 Speaker 1: the same day. Oh, that's a fun fact. I don't 95 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,760 Speaker 1: know if I've shared that on the show before. Maybe 96 00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,040 Speaker 1: I have my brother and I are born four years 97 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 1: apart on the same day, within the same hour for 98 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 1: the hurdlers. 99 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,440 Speaker 2: Also to know I was a little early. How early 100 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:27,920 Speaker 2: was I three weeks? Three weeks? That's not like obscenely early. 101 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,840 Speaker 1: I started going into labor with you at twenty some 102 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: odd weeks. 103 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 2: Hmmm, you were in a rush. Oh yeah, sounds kind 104 00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,520 Speaker 2: of like me. 105 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:44,480 Speaker 1: Today when you were having kids. You grew up with 106 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 1: two siblings. Did you think when you started to have 107 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: children that you wanted to have three or did you 108 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:56,640 Speaker 1: always want to have two? I always wanted two. If 109 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:59,640 Speaker 1: I would have had three, that would have been okay too, 110 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:04,719 Speaker 1: But I knew I wanted to Yeah, talk to me 111 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,520 Speaker 1: about growing up for you, because you grew up We're 112 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: in Connecticut now, but you grew up in I was 113 00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:16,359 Speaker 1: born in the Bronx, and I then moved to Long 114 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,080 Speaker 1: Island when I was six. 115 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:20,719 Speaker 2: Six And how long were you in Long Island. 116 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:28,640 Speaker 1: For till I was about nineteen nineteen. What was life 117 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:32,400 Speaker 1: like for you growing up in Long Island. Well, I 118 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:37,520 Speaker 1: had an older brother and a younger sister. We lived 119 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 1: in Plainview, and it was a pretty good growing up time. 120 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 1: My grandmother also lived with us until she passed. We 121 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:57,840 Speaker 1: had a lot of neighborhood friends. It was a big neighborhood, 122 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,359 Speaker 1: so we had neighborhood friends. We went outside and we 123 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: played all day all night. We had a lot of 124 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:12,960 Speaker 1: a lot of fun with the kids, and we always 125 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 1: had family dinners. We always went to visit the grandparents 126 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 1: because they weren't too far away. We had cousins that 127 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: weren't too far away. So there was a lot of 128 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:30,360 Speaker 1: family around as opposed to when I got older and 129 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,600 Speaker 1: we no longer had family around, and now there's very 130 00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 1: little family. Yeah, So when you were growing up, what 131 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: was Grammy doing for work and what was Poppy. 132 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:40,080 Speaker 2: Doing for work? 133 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:49,080 Speaker 1: Poppy was a insurance man with the Equitable for as 134 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:55,559 Speaker 1: long as I could remember. And Grammy was a part 135 00:07:55,640 --> 00:08:04,280 Speaker 1: time bookkeeper, so she was. And my father had a 136 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: lot of other jobs as well, but he was mostly 137 00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:13,280 Speaker 1: for my growing up, a insurance salesman. And so you 138 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,600 Speaker 1: said that you were in Long Island until you were 139 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,680 Speaker 1: at nineteen. Correct, you left Long Island and your family 140 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:19,800 Speaker 1: then moved to California. 141 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 2: Correct. Okay, you started college. 142 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,679 Speaker 1: On Long Island. I went to college for about a year, 143 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:32,520 Speaker 1: a year and a half, and then we went to 144 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: California and I completed my first bachelor's degree at Sacramento State. 145 00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: Did you think about staying in Long Island when your 146 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,719 Speaker 1: family was moving to California or. 147 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:47,720 Speaker 2: Was that like a non option? 148 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,840 Speaker 1: I thought about it, but it was a non option 149 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:55,120 Speaker 1: for my parents. They were not allowing me to stay behind, 150 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: even though my brother lived in New Jersey. 151 00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:58,839 Speaker 2: At the time. 152 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,200 Speaker 1: Okay, but they would not allow me to stay. I 153 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:06,360 Speaker 1: did want to stay, did they? They didn't give Alan 154 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:09,400 Speaker 1: the same He was older. He was three years older 155 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:12,520 Speaker 1: than me, so he was into his twenties by. 156 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,400 Speaker 2: Then, and they were like, we can't pull this ring. 157 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: He already lived on his own. He had a full 158 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,760 Speaker 1: time job, so he was out on his own. Yeah, 159 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,720 Speaker 1: I was still under their roof. So y'all moved to California. 160 00:09:23,880 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: You transferred to Sacramento State. And when you get to California, 161 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,920 Speaker 1: do you think this is somewhere that I could see 162 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,080 Speaker 1: myself saying? Or the entire time you were there, you 163 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,320 Speaker 1: were like, I can't wait to get back. 164 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,679 Speaker 2: To the East Coast. 165 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: Pretty much, I couldn't wait to get back to the 166 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:45,600 Speaker 1: East Coast. Why when you're in your upper teens heading 167 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:50,720 Speaker 1: into your twenties. Most of your friends and your familiarities 168 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: are where you grew up, so they were there. But 169 00:09:55,600 --> 00:10:00,720 Speaker 1: my family was with me in California. I didn't know anybody, 170 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: and I find that if you don't grow up with 171 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,800 Speaker 1: the people, it's not always so easy to make new 172 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: friends because they all have their old high school buddies 173 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 1: or their college friends. And here I was going into 174 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:22,200 Speaker 1: a new college, which was not necessarily a commuter college 175 00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:29,320 Speaker 1: because we had plenty of dorm matories. But they I 176 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,720 Speaker 1: lived on campus. Even though I lived in Sacramento, my 177 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,760 Speaker 1: family lived in Sacramento, I still lived on campus, so 178 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: I did make friends there, but they I also came 179 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:45,080 Speaker 1: in in January, so they had already started. I was 180 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,400 Speaker 1: put in with a roommate that kind of didn't get 181 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,520 Speaker 1: along with her first roommate, so there was a whole 182 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: lot of people that had sectioned off with each other first, 183 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 1: so I was kind of a newcomer. It's interesting to 184 00:10:57,559 --> 00:11:02,520 Speaker 1: me hearing you talk about struggling to find new friends 185 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: going to a different college, and then also in the 186 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 1: car earlier, you were talking about recently making a new 187 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,920 Speaker 1: friend and you're not twenty anymore. And I think that 188 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,640 Speaker 1: that is something a point of conversation that has been 189 00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:16,040 Speaker 1: on my mind a lot lately and something that I've 190 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: been talking about a lot lately with some of my 191 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 1: existing friends, because for me in New York, as more 192 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: and more people are leaving, Like, I feel so grateful 193 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,959 Speaker 1: for my relationships with a lot of people that are 194 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,400 Speaker 1: no longer in New York and like they're wonderful humans, 195 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: but I do think you need people to be, you know, around. 196 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:37,720 Speaker 1: I can't just spend all of my time alone because 197 00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:39,120 Speaker 1: all my friends have. 198 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 2: Left, and I think making friends is hard. It's definitely hard. 199 00:11:43,920 --> 00:11:47,360 Speaker 1: Making friends is very hard because when you come into 200 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,720 Speaker 1: new people or a new area, some of these people, 201 00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:56,880 Speaker 1: especially now at my age or or now that my 202 00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:00,040 Speaker 1: children aren't little, because when my children were. 203 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 2: Little, lots of people to make friends with. 204 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 1: You you are going with your children and doing activities, and 205 00:12:05,120 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 1: you're always going to be around other people. But when 206 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,680 Speaker 1: you work full time, you're either making your friends where 207 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:17,440 Speaker 1: you work, or if you even have enough time after 208 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 1: you're done working to start looking for other hobbies and 209 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,160 Speaker 1: activities that interest you so you can find like minded people. 210 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 1: So when your children get older and they head out 211 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:34,720 Speaker 1: by themselves. There you are by yourself. But a lot 212 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:41,360 Speaker 1: of people now have family as well. And when I 213 00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:46,000 Speaker 1: moved back to Connecticut, I had no family here. There 214 00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 1: was no family. My closest relative lives in New York 215 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: at this point, so there wasn't anybody here. I was 216 00:12:55,840 --> 00:13:01,360 Speaker 1: pretty much by myself in a way, so there was 217 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: no familial support system. When I had my children, for example, 218 00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:08,319 Speaker 1: it wasn't like I can say to my mother, can 219 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,720 Speaker 1: you come over and watch the children for a little 220 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 1: while so we can go out to dinner just the 221 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:14,480 Speaker 1: two of us. 222 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 2: Or something like that. There isn't that. 223 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 1: And we did meet some people in the original condominium 224 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,920 Speaker 1: complex we lived in, but they also have their own families. 225 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: So everyone has ties, different ties to others, so to 226 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: be added into their circle is not always an easy thing. 227 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:37,679 Speaker 2: Yeah. 228 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,439 Speaker 1: No, I mean I totally can sympathize with that. You 229 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:46,559 Speaker 1: mentioned coming to Connecticut. Talk to me about the decision 230 00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: to move from California back to the East Coast. Well, 231 00:13:49,679 --> 00:13:52,880 Speaker 1: your dad asked me to marry him, and when I 232 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,520 Speaker 1: had met him in New York, and we were the 233 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: best of friends in New York, and when he would 234 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,200 Speaker 1: or I would come back here. Of course we would 235 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,400 Speaker 1: see each other. We always kept in touches even though 236 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:08,720 Speaker 1: we were across the country. And when he asked me 237 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,439 Speaker 1: to marry him, I had told my parents a long 238 00:14:11,520 --> 00:14:14,240 Speaker 1: time ago that if I wanted to marry someone, I 239 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 1: wanted to be just like him because he was at 240 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,840 Speaker 1: that point he was my best friend. So when he 241 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 1: asked me to marry him, his world was here. He 242 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: owned a business, so it wasn't easy for him to 243 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: pick up. It was easier for me to pick up. 244 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,720 Speaker 1: And so I did leave my family behind over there 245 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 1: because at that point my brother had already moved back 246 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:44,359 Speaker 1: to had moved to California as well, so I had 247 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 1: no siblings here. And so I came to Connecticut, which 248 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:52,760 Speaker 1: I had never been to Connecticut before, and got off 249 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 1: the plane in New York and driven right to Connecticut, 250 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:02,240 Speaker 1: where I've remained now for a long time, all time, 251 00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,720 Speaker 1: A long time. Have you thought since moving to Connecticut 252 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 1: about leaving Connecticut? Well, that I think about all the time. Yeah, 253 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: But when my kids were little, I wanted to go 254 00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:21,000 Speaker 1: back to California because I wanted to be near my family. Yeah, 255 00:15:23,880 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 1: but that never did come to be. Yeah, okay, So 256 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,760 Speaker 1: you decide to move to Connecticut and Dad and you 257 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: get married. How far how long after you moved to 258 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:38,960 Speaker 1: Connecticut to Dad and you get married? Uh? 259 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,400 Speaker 2: About a year? Yeah? About a year? 260 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:47,440 Speaker 1: Okay, So you get married and what year do you 261 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:51,160 Speaker 1: get married? Nineteen eighty one, nineteen eighty one, and then 262 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: you have Matthew in nineteen eighty four and you have 263 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:58,600 Speaker 1: me in nineteen eighty eight. Talk to me about first 264 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 1: becoming a mom. Was it what you thought that it 265 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: would be, what I thought it would be. Yeah, it 266 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:11,880 Speaker 1: pretty much was Matthew and I. Actually we had a 267 00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:13,800 Speaker 1: lot of fun together. He was my buddy. 268 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 2: He was my buddy. 269 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,120 Speaker 1: He was my buddy even when you were born. He 270 00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: and I used to go out on dates. We used 271 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:24,200 Speaker 1: to go for dates because I didn't want him to 272 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:28,880 Speaker 1: feel left out. But no, he and I we were buddies. 273 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:33,600 Speaker 1: I would take him everywhere. We would go everywhere together. 274 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:39,040 Speaker 1: And he was not an easy child, so he couldn't 275 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:43,120 Speaker 1: really be be left with others for too long a 276 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: period of time. I was staying at home, so it 277 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,400 Speaker 1: was him and I. 278 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:54,720 Speaker 2: How did that shift ones I was born. 279 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,040 Speaker 1: Well, I had gone back to work part time when 280 00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:03,080 Speaker 1: he was about two, and then when I was pregnant 281 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 1: with you, I was also still working. Then there were. 282 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,439 Speaker 2: Two of you. 283 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,400 Speaker 1: But as those years go by, you make the decision 284 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 1: that you want to go back to school. 285 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 2: Yes, right, and you go back to school for nursing. 286 00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,320 Speaker 1: Well, I didn't necessarily know I wanted to go back 287 00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:22,040 Speaker 1: to school for another degree or anything like that. I 288 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,920 Speaker 1: always wanted to be a nurse, but in the seventies 289 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 1: there were a glut of nurses. There were it was 290 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,720 Speaker 1: very hard to even get into a nursing school. When 291 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,800 Speaker 1: I finally decided that's what I wanted to do and be, 292 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,600 Speaker 1: I applied for many many schools in the New York area. 293 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:47,000 Speaker 1: Got accepted to all of the schools, but not directly 294 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 1: into a nursing program. That was more difficult to do. 295 00:17:51,840 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 1: So I did not. Even when we moved to California, 296 00:17:55,760 --> 00:18:00,040 Speaker 1: I was not accepted into a nursing program. And I 297 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:04,119 Speaker 1: I was trying to do all my general education, do 298 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:08,240 Speaker 1: all my sciences, get all that done in hopes to 299 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:12,159 Speaker 1: be accepted into the nursing program. But they were accepting 300 00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,120 Speaker 1: maybe five a year. Oh wow, And if you didn't 301 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,720 Speaker 1: have LA's you weren't getting in and I was not 302 00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 1: a straight A student at that point, so I graduated 303 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:29,480 Speaker 1: with another degree. After being in school for about four 304 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,920 Speaker 1: and a half total college years, I came out with 305 00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:38,040 Speaker 1: a Bachelor of Arts degree with no direction. And then 306 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,520 Speaker 1: when I went back to school, I really only thought 307 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:46,280 Speaker 1: that to better myself, I wanted to take a class. 308 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:50,720 Speaker 1: But I loved science and I loved social science, and 309 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,680 Speaker 1: I did not know what I wanted to take. So 310 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:58,960 Speaker 1: actually it was a choice between a course on death 311 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:05,480 Speaker 1: and dying or a course on microbiology for fun, and 312 00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 1: I took microbiology for fun. 313 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:07,960 Speaker 2: Thank you. 314 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,919 Speaker 1: That just sounds I mean, I'm sure the death and 315 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,720 Speaker 1: dying course could have had its perks. 316 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,920 Speaker 2: But that sounds like such a I mean. 317 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: I guess in retrospect, like one of my favorite courses 318 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 1: in college was a history course on the Holocaust, not 319 00:19:26,119 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: the happiest of subjects, but I was fascinated by it. 320 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:33,200 Speaker 1: So I would assume that you probably learned a lot 321 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,280 Speaker 1: of interesting stuff in a death and dying course. Elizabeth 322 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 1: Koobla Ross I was very interested in her philosophy. What's 323 00:19:40,359 --> 00:19:42,879 Speaker 1: her deal on death and dying? On the stages of 324 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:45,680 Speaker 1: death and dying? So you go back and you take 325 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:50,160 Speaker 1: this microbiology class and then you make the decision that 326 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,760 Speaker 1: you want to do what. Well, actually, I think I've 327 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:58,080 Speaker 1: told you this before. I went and took the class 328 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:04,720 Speaker 1: locally in a local college university, and when I was done, 329 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:08,000 Speaker 1: I got an A. And it had been twenty years 330 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 1: since I had been to college and I got an A. 331 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,879 Speaker 1: And I was so proud of myself that I said, oh, 332 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,320 Speaker 1: I want to take another one. What should I take? 333 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,840 Speaker 1: So I didn't know, and I looked at the book again, 334 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:24,439 Speaker 1: and I really didn't know where I wanted to go 335 00:20:24,520 --> 00:20:28,520 Speaker 1: with that. So I saw a counselor in the health 336 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:35,199 Speaker 1: science department because I was taking sciences, and they said, well, 337 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 1: what have you taken already? So I happened to have 338 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,000 Speaker 1: not a transcript, but a whole list of the courses 339 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,360 Speaker 1: that I took at Sacramento State University, and I said, well, here, 340 00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:50,959 Speaker 1: this is what I've taken. And I made another appointment, 341 00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:56,200 Speaker 1: and within two weeks I got an acceptance letter into 342 00:20:56,280 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: their nursing program. And I didn't apply. Now, this is 343 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,600 Speaker 1: something that I wanted to do twenty years earlier. Yeah, 344 00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:09,840 Speaker 1: and now it was like a dare How could I 345 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,439 Speaker 1: not take that dare. Yeah, so they wanted me in 346 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:14,880 Speaker 1: the nursing program. 347 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:17,080 Speaker 2: I went, I went, when you went? 348 00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 1: Were you were there other people your age in the 349 00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,000 Speaker 1: nursing program or were you oldest? 350 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 2: I was gonna say, were you the oldest? Was the oldest? 351 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,119 Speaker 2: What movies like? 352 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,960 Speaker 1: What old people's college movies are there that we should 353 00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,800 Speaker 1: be referencing right now? Oh? I can't think of anything 354 00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:33,440 Speaker 1: at the moment. My god, I've seen so many movies 355 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,520 Speaker 1: like We're like, doesn't Melissa McCarthy go back to school 356 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:39,480 Speaker 1: and she's old in some movie? 357 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:41,520 Speaker 2: Anyway? How was that for you? 358 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:45,439 Speaker 1: It was okay? Yeah, some of my you know, one 359 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:48,240 Speaker 1: of my best friends now we were in nursing school 360 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: together and we're still really good friends to this day. 361 00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 2: Is it Van Wilder? 362 00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 1: The only one I can think of is the one 363 00:21:54,359 --> 00:21:57,160 Speaker 1: with Drew Barrymore and she goes back to high school 364 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,320 Speaker 1: as the journalist. 365 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,240 Speaker 2: Has that never been kissed? That's oh, that's a good one. 366 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,600 Speaker 2: That's a good one. Okay. 367 00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: How did you feel about going back to school? Did 368 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 1: you have any guilt not being a stay at home 369 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:10,960 Speaker 1: mom anymore? I don't know that I had guilt at 370 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:15,719 Speaker 1: that point, because you were all in school, and I 371 00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,239 Speaker 1: did this when you weren't home, so it wasn't like 372 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:23,600 Speaker 1: I wasn't there, except for the fact when I had 373 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:27,880 Speaker 1: to study. So there were times that I wasn't available 374 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:31,879 Speaker 1: to play, but I tried to do My studying was 375 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:35,440 Speaker 1: done at night or on the weekends when your dad 376 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:39,360 Speaker 1: could play with you if he was home, and get 377 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,760 Speaker 1: it done that way. But I kind of did it 378 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,440 Speaker 1: when you when you guys weren't even home. You had 379 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,520 Speaker 1: your own things going on. Your brother was eight by then, 380 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 1: so and you were five, so actually maybe you were four. Yeah, 381 00:22:55,600 --> 00:23:00,040 Speaker 1: So when you graduate from nursing school, do you do 382 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,040 Speaker 1: you think that you're gonna be for sure like a 383 00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,040 Speaker 1: nurse in a hospital or are you thinking about other 384 00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:08,440 Speaker 1: things that you could be doing. No, I wanted to 385 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 1: be a nurse in the hospital. 386 00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:10,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 387 00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:13,840 Speaker 1: What was that first job like for you, because that 388 00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:16,680 Speaker 1: was your first full time job since having children? 389 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:18,680 Speaker 2: Right, yes, okay. 390 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,040 Speaker 1: Well I was evenings, which was better than days, and 391 00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:26,080 Speaker 1: that way I could get you guys off on the buses. 392 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: You know, you weren't You weren't by yourselves. You were 393 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 1: in after school programs and things like that, so it 394 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:33,600 Speaker 1: worked out really well. 395 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 2: It was it was tough to. 396 00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:39,560 Speaker 1: Be away from everybody for the whole day. So as 397 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: far as being a mother at the job itself, nursing 398 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,800 Speaker 1: is a hard job, and nursing is as it's an 399 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 1: emotional and physical job. Yeah, and here I had a 400 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,920 Speaker 1: family that I had to be concerned about as well, 401 00:23:55,520 --> 00:24:00,400 Speaker 1: and so that that was hard too, because I at 402 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:05,400 Speaker 1: that point, I think your dad had his own company, 403 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 1: so he was pretty taken up with taking care of that, 404 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 1: because starting a new company is not easy. Yeah, and 405 00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 1: it requires a lot of time. Although nursing was a 406 00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:19,840 Speaker 1: demanding profession, were you enjoying it? Like? 407 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,720 Speaker 2: Was it what you thought that it would be? Yeah? 408 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 1: I did enjoy it. I learned an awful lot. I 409 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:33,560 Speaker 1: decided originally, even when I was in school, I thought 410 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:41,560 Speaker 1: I wanted to be a maternal child nurse, and I 411 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:45,359 Speaker 1: think even when I got closer to graduating, I thought 412 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,280 Speaker 1: I would even look into the nick you the neonatal 413 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 1: intensive care. But I didn't want to specialize at that 414 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,720 Speaker 1: point because if you don't have enough experience, you're kind 415 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 1: of stuck there. You can't go elsewhere. So I just 416 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:08,119 Speaker 1: started with the med surge and ultimately got my way 417 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:11,880 Speaker 1: into the intensive care unit, which I enjoyed very much. 418 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:14,200 Speaker 2: That like scares the hell out of me to think 419 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 2: to be in that and well. 420 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:20,600 Speaker 1: And whence your critical care then you can they believe 421 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:23,960 Speaker 1: you can do anything. So I used to float down 422 00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,160 Speaker 1: to the er and when push came to shove, they 423 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,640 Speaker 1: would float over to maternity. 424 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:30,560 Speaker 2: To be like in that. 425 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 1: Like so many different like so many different capacities of 426 00:25:34,720 --> 00:25:36,840 Speaker 1: work then like you're just taking care of so many 427 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,000 Speaker 1: different types of people. 428 00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,280 Speaker 2: Have a favorite. 429 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:46,280 Speaker 1: I like the ICU. Yeah, that was probably my favorite. 430 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: Why I liked the pace of it. It wasn't as 431 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:58,040 Speaker 1: hectic as the ER, but it had its stress level, 432 00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:03,840 Speaker 1: no doubt. But it made you really feel like you 433 00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: were doing a difference, making a difference. These people really 434 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,880 Speaker 1: needed you, and they needed you to be smart. They 435 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:20,080 Speaker 1: needed you to be good with your assessments and to 436 00:26:20,280 --> 00:26:23,840 Speaker 1: monitor for changes because things can change on a dime. 437 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 1: And it was very I loved it. I really loved it. 438 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 2: When we get to the point where I am. 439 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:41,960 Speaker 1: Going to college, do you think that do you think 440 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 1: I made the right decision with where I went to college. 441 00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:49,600 Speaker 1: I think you made the only decision. Unfortunately, I know 442 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:55,120 Speaker 1: how bad you wanted Boston. Yeah, Syracuse was up there 443 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:59,400 Speaker 1: as well, and then there was Yukon, which you did 444 00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,760 Speaker 1: not want to go to, but unfortunately we didn't know 445 00:27:03,800 --> 00:27:07,239 Speaker 1: how to afford one of the other colleges. When I 446 00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:10,919 Speaker 1: think about all of that in retrospect, A not scarred 447 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:11,920 Speaker 1: from that experience at all. 448 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:13,640 Speaker 2: Worked out quite well for all of us. 449 00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:16,960 Speaker 1: I'll remember this if, if, and when I have children 450 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 1: when they're deciding, like where they're going to go to school. 451 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:20,800 Speaker 1: In my head, I'm going to be like, they will 452 00:27:20,840 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 1: be fine if they go to the Yukon. Of this situation, 453 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:26,399 Speaker 1: I totally wanted to. I mean I got into Boston, 454 00:27:26,440 --> 00:27:28,120 Speaker 1: I got into Syracuse. I think I got into almost 455 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:30,880 Speaker 1: every school that every school you applied to. We never 456 00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:34,440 Speaker 1: heard from Fordham ever. Oh yeah, isn't that interesting? 457 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 2: Yeah? 458 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:36,639 Speaker 1: No, I always think about that. They never got back 459 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 1: to us. It wasn't in the cards. That was I 460 00:27:39,200 --> 00:27:41,959 Speaker 1: wasn't ready for that New York chapter yet, But I 461 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:45,560 Speaker 1: think about that, that decision and us sitting at the 462 00:27:45,640 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 1: kitchen table and you guys were like, where do you 463 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:49,159 Speaker 1: want to go? And in my head, I was like, 464 00:27:49,640 --> 00:27:52,000 Speaker 1: I want to go to Yukon because I didn't know 465 00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:52,440 Speaker 1: how to. 466 00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:55,639 Speaker 2: Go to like I couldn't go to Syracuse. We couldn't 467 00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,920 Speaker 2: go to Syracuse. But I also think, like even when 468 00:27:57,920 --> 00:28:01,720 Speaker 2: I remember reading the Boston the acceptance, like in the email, 469 00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 2: like when email first. 470 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:05,720 Speaker 1: Really started and we opened the email and I got 471 00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:08,040 Speaker 1: the BEU acceptance, and like it was exciting for like 472 00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:11,160 Speaker 1: literally thirty seconds like that like really big thing because 473 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: then you immediately opened the financial aid package and it 474 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,960 Speaker 1: like it's a joke. I think it was like two 475 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: thousand dollars they gave us, yeah, pretty much. And it 476 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: wasn't even like I was. I wasn't even bummed about it, 477 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:23,240 Speaker 1: because it was just like this isn't a thing, This 478 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,160 Speaker 1: isn't a thing that we're gonna do. It was such 479 00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,159 Speaker 1: a slap in the face, like that aid package. And 480 00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: you were a very smart student. You had a good GPA. Yeah, 481 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:37,080 Speaker 1: so for them not to offer you something was kind 482 00:28:37,119 --> 00:28:40,320 Speaker 1: of surprising or something significant, I should. 483 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 2: Say, because they did. 484 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: Everybody offered you something, but the private schools were just 485 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:52,360 Speaker 1: more than we could afford or even know how to 486 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:57,360 Speaker 1: make that happen. In high school when I started to 487 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:01,520 Speaker 1: take on positions of leadership, what. 488 00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,720 Speaker 2: Did that What did you think about that? 489 00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: I was very proud. Yeah, I was very proud. I'll 490 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 1: admit it. 491 00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:09,800 Speaker 2: I took some. 492 00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: Credit for it, just like I take credit for you 493 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 1: tying your shoes. 494 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. 495 00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: It's interesting to me because I get asked often if 496 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:24,960 Speaker 1: I was raised in a certain way that empowered me 497 00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:29,080 Speaker 1: to kind of take that initiative and the leadership that 498 00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:33,840 Speaker 1: I was referencing. I was president of my region of 499 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,800 Speaker 1: my youth group, which was an international youth which is 500 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,480 Speaker 1: an international youth group now ben a Breath. But it 501 00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:44,040 Speaker 1: was interesting for me because I don't think I I 502 00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:45,479 Speaker 1: don't know where that came from. 503 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 2: Like, I don't know where. 504 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:51,200 Speaker 1: I think about this all the time because I wanted 505 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:52,920 Speaker 1: to be the person that I always wanted to be, 506 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:54,160 Speaker 1: someone that helped other people. 507 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,280 Speaker 2: But I don't know. Well. 508 00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,479 Speaker 1: The way I see it, and there's always two sides 509 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: to what people see, is that you were allowed choices. 510 00:30:07,400 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 1: We always allowed you to make a choice. We could 511 00:30:10,440 --> 00:30:13,640 Speaker 1: guide you one way or another. But even as far 512 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:20,840 Speaker 1: as religion, you were brought up with two religions. So 513 00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,880 Speaker 1: what was important to us at one point was that 514 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:30,520 Speaker 1: you actually have one but can choose whatever, and we 515 00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:40,320 Speaker 1: chose to give you experiences in both of them, and 516 00:30:40,360 --> 00:30:44,320 Speaker 1: that's the same thing. We're allowing you to have a choice, 517 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,280 Speaker 1: and I think we allowed you to make your choices. 518 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: You've always been outgoing, You've always been. 519 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:54,440 Speaker 2: Very social. 520 00:30:56,000 --> 00:31:01,320 Speaker 1: Like we talked about not too long ago, when what 521 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:03,760 Speaker 1: was what was that that you were telling me? And 522 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:07,960 Speaker 1: I say, oh, when you got this new apartment, And 523 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,920 Speaker 1: I said to you, I said, well, when they said 524 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:15,560 Speaker 1: to you that they were that there were five other people, 525 00:31:15,840 --> 00:31:18,680 Speaker 1: and the way that you spoke to these people, I said, 526 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,800 Speaker 1: that's how you got to be Lavinia Warren because you 527 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:28,160 Speaker 1: were always interested in engaging people and finding out about them. 528 00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:32,280 Speaker 1: You weren't always you weren't an into yourself kind of kid. 529 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,680 Speaker 1: So Mom's referencing when I was eleven, I entered ten 530 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 1: when I was grade, yes, fifth grade. When I was ten, 531 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: I entered like this local personality contest kind of like 532 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:49,480 Speaker 1: it was a personality beauty ish No, the Barnum Festival, 533 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:54,200 Speaker 1: because the Shakespeare Theater and barnum were up here. This 534 00:31:54,240 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 1: is where they were a barnum was it Bridgeport? And 535 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:01,640 Speaker 1: they had a Barnum Festival and they chose the King 536 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: and the Queen and a scholarship program it is. And 537 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: then the youngest were the Tom and Lavinia Warren. And 538 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,920 Speaker 1: these are all like actual real people that they kind 539 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:18,120 Speaker 1: of make these makeshift roles and have these like personality 540 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:22,840 Speaker 1: pageants for lack of a better designation. And Mom always 541 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:26,800 Speaker 1: reflects on this that when I won this contest, so 542 00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 1: to speak, at age ten, it was because I was 543 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:33,960 Speaker 1: asking the judges about themselves and not just talking about myself. 544 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:34,680 Speaker 2: That's right. 545 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:38,120 Speaker 1: And the judge said to us, she was the only 546 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 1: one that even asked us anything. I would assume that that, 547 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,720 Speaker 1: I mean that has to be modeled behavior. Though I 548 00:32:46,760 --> 00:32:50,200 Speaker 1: don't think like when you're before, when you were talking 549 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,440 Speaker 1: about like we empowered you to make choices and we 550 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:53,520 Speaker 1: hope that we did good. 551 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,680 Speaker 2: I think doing good with raising me. 552 00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:02,480 Speaker 1: Is modeling good by behavior that I then, you know, 553 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:06,240 Speaker 1: took into my own as I was coming into my own. Well, 554 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:09,280 Speaker 1: we tried to make sure that you knew that kindness 555 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 1: was important, you know, understanding other people and seeing the differences. 556 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:18,240 Speaker 1: You also had the opportunity when you were growing up 557 00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: you had all of Dad's family. They had longevity, so 558 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:26,760 Speaker 1: you had a great grandmother, so you saw that kind 559 00:33:26,800 --> 00:33:30,040 Speaker 1: of a hierarchy in a family. Yeah, you saw the 560 00:33:30,240 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 1: great grandparents, the grandparents, you know, things like that. So 561 00:33:33,760 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 1: you had respect for elders, you had you were shown 562 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: respect for other people. And I think that's where a 563 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:45,960 Speaker 1: lot of that came from. You already had that. How 564 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,560 Speaker 1: did you feel when I because I don't really consider 565 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: like college like moving out, moving out like I feel 566 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,200 Speaker 1: like obviously it's moving out. But how did you feel 567 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,680 Speaker 1: when I moved to New York? I've realized what my 568 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,240 Speaker 1: mother felt like when I left California. 569 00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:05,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. I was so much closer though. 570 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:10,800 Speaker 1: I know, but you still weren't right there. 571 00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:11,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. 572 00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:14,160 Speaker 1: And it's the same thing now when Matthew is up 573 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:18,839 Speaker 1: from Florida and he went home, I felt the same way. 574 00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 1: I now know exactly how my mother felt when I 575 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,840 Speaker 1: would come visit and I would go away. Yeah, because 576 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,040 Speaker 1: even though you're in New York State, well, even if 577 00:34:28,080 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 1: it wasn't I guess if we didn't have the pandemic, 578 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 1: it would have definitely been a little busier. I mean, 579 00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:38,600 Speaker 1: excuse me, it would have been different because I probably 580 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:43,080 Speaker 1: would have seen you more than once or twice in 581 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:47,040 Speaker 1: twenty twenty. Yeah, so even though you're close by, but 582 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,600 Speaker 1: it's still It's not like I can say, oh, let's 583 00:34:50,640 --> 00:34:52,880 Speaker 1: go have some lunch. Yeah, you know, we can't do that. 584 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,080 Speaker 2: So it is different. 585 00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: I mean, and I know that you're out there, and yeah, 586 00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:02,600 Speaker 1: we worried being in a big city. I mean, I 587 00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,080 Speaker 1: lived in San Francisco, but New York City still intimidates me. 588 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 2: It's big. 589 00:35:09,160 --> 00:35:15,680 Speaker 1: And you you have that ability to go and do 590 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:19,279 Speaker 1: and get on the subway, and you see when I 591 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:22,080 Speaker 1: would come visit you, I'm sure I'm going to wind 592 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,879 Speaker 1: up on the wrong subway, you know, things like that. 593 00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:29,320 Speaker 1: But you got on buses, you got in the subway, 594 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,000 Speaker 1: you took the train, you went all over. You didn't 595 00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 1: have that fear. But then again, we sent you to 596 00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:40,840 Speaker 1: camp for true weeks, let's six or seven or something 597 00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:41,200 Speaker 1: like that. 598 00:35:41,440 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 2: Thoughts on sending me away every summer. 599 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:49,680 Speaker 1: Well, they didn't have too much option. It used to 600 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:53,720 Speaker 1: be that was the option. It was one month or nothing. 601 00:35:54,920 --> 00:35:59,640 Speaker 1: They did have a one week camp thing. Otherwise it 602 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:02,560 Speaker 1: was literally a month. Do you feel like sending me 603 00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,360 Speaker 1: to summer camp in some ways was kind of like 604 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,080 Speaker 1: an opportunity for you as a mom to also kind 605 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:12,520 Speaker 1: of recharge a little bit. Yes, yeah, because as I 606 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:17,080 Speaker 1: mentioned before, I didn't have any family here, so and 607 00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:19,680 Speaker 1: it wasn't always easy to find babysitters that you felt 608 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:27,759 Speaker 1: comfortable with either. I'll never forget you were god, under 609 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:32,000 Speaker 1: six months old and I had gotten this babysitter, and 610 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,960 Speaker 1: I don't remember how I got the babysitter, and we 611 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:39,920 Speaker 1: were scheduled to go to a party, and thankfully you 612 00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,440 Speaker 1: would go to sleep at five o'clock at night. Yeah, 613 00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,080 Speaker 1: so that worked out pretty well. We would still get 614 00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:48,480 Speaker 1: home before you even woke up again. But we went 615 00:36:48,520 --> 00:36:52,840 Speaker 1: to get the babysitter and I don't remember what happened, 616 00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:57,600 Speaker 1: but she was not there. So their parents decided to 617 00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:03,239 Speaker 1: substitute their other child, who was eleven. And here I 618 00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:06,960 Speaker 1: am looking at an eleven year old and knowing at home, 619 00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:12,439 Speaker 1: I have arguments like a five month old, No way, yes, way, wait, 620 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,600 Speaker 1: you didn't leave me with the eleven year old. 621 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,160 Speaker 2: Yes we did. Oh my god. 622 00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,680 Speaker 1: We were in the same town, we were. 623 00:37:20,719 --> 00:37:23,640 Speaker 2: Mom, how could you do that? 624 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:25,200 Speaker 1: We only went for. 625 00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:29,239 Speaker 2: A very short period of time. I hope it was 626 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:32,359 Speaker 2: a great party we went. What was memorable at all 627 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:33,920 Speaker 2: was a memorable old. 628 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 1: Yes, because it was a Halloween party. Where did you 629 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,719 Speaker 1: go as we were the Smurfs. 630 00:37:38,840 --> 00:37:40,640 Speaker 2: Wow wow, wow. 631 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,600 Speaker 1: But it was in the same town. We weren't gone 632 00:37:45,719 --> 00:37:49,560 Speaker 1: long and I will say it's your father's fault. 633 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:52,239 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I can't believe you did that. I 634 00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,879 Speaker 2: can't wait to grill him on this later. Oh my god, 635 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 2: Oh my god, he's gonna kill us. He might not remember. 636 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,360 Speaker 2: So first, mom takeaway? 637 00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:10,560 Speaker 1: What is Do you have a proudest moment as my mom? 638 00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 2: Just one? Yeah, if you have to give me two, 639 00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:15,600 Speaker 2: you can give me two. 640 00:38:15,680 --> 00:38:18,520 Speaker 1: But oh, I have a lot of really proud moments. 641 00:38:19,800 --> 00:38:22,880 Speaker 1: Of course, when you did some of your milestones, like 642 00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,160 Speaker 1: when you walked, when you talked, m those were really good. 643 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:31,400 Speaker 1: Every time you graduated from something that was really good. Yeah, 644 00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:33,239 Speaker 1: when you got to be able to do some things 645 00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:37,400 Speaker 1: by yourself, and that that was always good. When you 646 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:41,440 Speaker 1: you were always you were a really good baby. I mean, 647 00:38:41,480 --> 00:38:42,440 Speaker 1: you were really good. 648 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:43,200 Speaker 2: I'm surprised. 649 00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:45,600 Speaker 1: Nothing you're referencing is like me as an adult. Here, 650 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:49,719 Speaker 1: You're still I can't all start. I still have to 651 00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:54,000 Speaker 1: start down in the beginning. I have every magazine you've 652 00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:58,080 Speaker 1: ever written anything in, at least up into the self magazine, 653 00:38:58,080 --> 00:39:00,680 Speaker 1: because I know you do so much for freelance. Now 654 00:39:00,719 --> 00:39:04,640 Speaker 1: I can't keep them. I have a whole folder full 655 00:39:04,680 --> 00:39:08,080 Speaker 1: of all your hurdle weeklies. I have a lot of 656 00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:11,360 Speaker 1: stuff you've written that I've kept. Yeah, because I'm proud 657 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:13,960 Speaker 1: of all that I have. I don't know where your 658 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:17,040 Speaker 1: writing ability ever came from. Because writing, I feel like 659 00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:19,720 Speaker 1: you're a great wordsmith and I can write very well, 660 00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,399 Speaker 1: but it takes me a very very long time. I'm 661 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:27,680 Speaker 1: not the best right away. So I'm very proud of 662 00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:29,719 Speaker 1: that ability of yours. I don't I don't know how 663 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:33,279 Speaker 1: you do it. The fact that you lost all that weight, 664 00:39:33,400 --> 00:39:37,359 Speaker 1: the fact that you run. I always wanted to run, 665 00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:39,680 Speaker 1: never could, can't run and breathe. At the same time, 666 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:42,880 Speaker 1: when she says that she is empowered, she is capable, 667 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,120 Speaker 1: I cannot start. At the same time, We're gonna have 668 00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,759 Speaker 1: to have a running workshop after we get off this podcast. 669 00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:52,000 Speaker 1: So when you were I have a lot of proud 670 00:39:52,080 --> 00:39:56,560 Speaker 1: moments though. The time that you finished that first marathon. Yeah, 671 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:59,240 Speaker 1: every time you finish a marathon, Yeah, that's I cry 672 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:00,280 Speaker 1: every single time. 673 00:40:00,320 --> 00:40:00,919 Speaker 2: I know same. 674 00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:06,839 Speaker 1: So you know, just the woman that you've become is 675 00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:11,120 Speaker 1: my is I'm very proud of. I wish I felt 676 00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:14,279 Speaker 1: that I was more responsible. I think you're responsible in 677 00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:19,160 Speaker 1: ways that you don't even realize. Probably moms are responsible 678 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,960 Speaker 1: in ways that they surely don't realize. If you had 679 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:27,719 Speaker 1: to offer me a piece of advice about raising my 680 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:34,160 Speaker 1: own daughter, what would it be. You're going to make mistakes, 681 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,560 Speaker 1: It's going to happen. Just love them. How do you 682 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,120 Speaker 1: feel about me being having some sort of a following 683 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 1: on social media? 684 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:46,080 Speaker 2: Well, I think it's great. Do I worry? Absolutely? 685 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:46,760 Speaker 1: Yeah? 686 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:47,440 Speaker 2: Absolutely? 687 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,360 Speaker 1: There are a lot of strange people out there, and 688 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,560 Speaker 1: the internet is the internet now. I think this kind 689 00:40:54,560 --> 00:40:56,200 Speaker 1: of goes back to the theme that you were saying 690 00:40:56,280 --> 00:40:58,799 Speaker 1: earlier about like you just can't you have to let 691 00:40:58,840 --> 00:41:01,400 Speaker 1: go sometimes and just like let things happen. And I 692 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:04,839 Speaker 1: think at least I'm of the mindset that sometimes I'd 693 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:08,080 Speaker 1: like to like completely withdraw from social media, but I 694 00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:10,680 Speaker 1: feel as though it is such an important tool to 695 00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:12,879 Speaker 1: help me get to where I. 696 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,440 Speaker 2: Want to go and do what I want to do. 697 00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 1: Social media can be a pretty amazing tool, Yeah, because 698 00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:23,960 Speaker 1: it reaches so many people that you wouldn't reach. If 699 00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,479 Speaker 1: you look at some of the people that follow you, 700 00:41:27,880 --> 00:41:30,640 Speaker 1: they're from all over this world. Yeah, there's not just 701 00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:34,120 Speaker 1: from the metropolitan the New York metropolitan area. 702 00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:34,839 Speaker 2: They're not just. 703 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:38,640 Speaker 1: From New England. But I think you have probably someone 704 00:41:38,719 --> 00:41:42,480 Speaker 1: in many, if not all, of the continents. Oh yeah, 705 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,000 Speaker 1: so I don't know about Antarctica. I don't know. We'd 706 00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:49,239 Speaker 1: have to look into that. Not good, but it's amazing. 707 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 1: And I look at the comments that people make. You 708 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,800 Speaker 1: remember when they when you wrote something and they didn't 709 00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,360 Speaker 1: like it, and you said, don't look at these things. 710 00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,960 Speaker 1: Don't when you were in the beginning, when you were 711 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:06,920 Speaker 1: like in doing that blog, your first job, and then 712 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,920 Speaker 1: people would say something, not against you, but just against something, 713 00:42:10,960 --> 00:42:13,400 Speaker 1: and I was like, that's my child. Why are you 714 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,680 Speaker 1: saying these bad things? Yeah, of course I don't say anything. 715 00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 716 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:22,000 Speaker 1: I think sometimes I all want to protect you from 717 00:42:22,400 --> 00:42:23,920 Speaker 1: not getting worried about me. 718 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,719 Speaker 2: Did you know that for your mom too? Yeah. 719 00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,919 Speaker 1: I think it's probably different now because like my life 720 00:42:29,040 --> 00:42:32,680 Speaker 1: is so such an open book. Well my parents that 721 00:42:32,800 --> 00:42:36,799 Speaker 1: while they I think my mother went on Facebook once 722 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:39,200 Speaker 1: and then said that wasn't for her because she didn't 723 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:42,920 Speaker 1: want to be friended by people she didn't like, which 724 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:47,480 Speaker 1: were just some other people that she did know, but 725 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:50,720 Speaker 1: she she really only wanted it for family to see 726 00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,880 Speaker 1: pictures and things like that. Ye, being so spread apart 727 00:42:54,040 --> 00:42:57,839 Speaker 1: with whatever few family that was left. No, it is, 728 00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,520 Speaker 1: it's difficult. And I know you do that because I 729 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:07,160 Speaker 1: have seen some pictures that you post after your home 730 00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:11,799 Speaker 1: safely on ground, some of your rock climbing pictures and 731 00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:14,480 Speaker 1: things like that that you've done in the pack growd. 732 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:16,759 Speaker 2: If you had a guess, where do you see me 733 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:17,920 Speaker 2: in ten years? 734 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:20,440 Speaker 1: Oh, that's tough. That's a tough one. I know where 735 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:21,759 Speaker 1: I'd like to see you in ten years. 736 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,440 Speaker 2: Where would you like to see me in ten years? 737 00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:28,799 Speaker 1: Every parent, or maybe I shouldn't say every parent, this 738 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:35,680 Speaker 1: parent would like to see you. You have your career set. 739 00:43:36,360 --> 00:43:39,480 Speaker 1: I'd like to see your personal life set. Yeah, then 740 00:43:39,600 --> 00:43:44,440 Speaker 1: I know it's all good. I know that my kids 741 00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:53,359 Speaker 1: are happy, healthy and living their best life. That's all 742 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:59,640 Speaker 1: I want. And I would like to see that sooner 743 00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:03,520 Speaker 1: than to years, because I'd like some time to enjoy that. 744 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,680 Speaker 1: You talk like you're on your way out, and it's 745 00:44:06,719 --> 00:44:10,400 Speaker 1: like just so awful. I'm not, We're not. We have 746 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:14,839 Speaker 1: so much time. Never never say whatever's just. 747 00:44:14,800 --> 00:44:17,120 Speaker 2: Hold on to this time at this moment and I 748 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:17,480 Speaker 2: can listen. 749 00:44:17,760 --> 00:44:18,600 Speaker 1: You have to take time. 750 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:20,560 Speaker 2: You have to take it now while you haven't. 751 00:44:20,680 --> 00:44:24,319 Speaker 1: You know, well, everybody's healthy, thank goodness. I mean that 752 00:44:24,440 --> 00:44:26,719 Speaker 1: was scary when you were in New York and and 753 00:44:26,760 --> 00:44:30,440 Speaker 1: that was so riddled with COVID. Yeah, and you know, 754 00:44:30,560 --> 00:44:34,560 Speaker 1: but I knew that you would that you took it seriously. Yeah, 755 00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,360 Speaker 1: as opposed to your brother who did not take it seriously. 756 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:40,960 Speaker 2: He also lives in Florida. And he lives in Florida. 757 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:45,160 Speaker 1: You know, we worry. Parents worry that their kids are 758 00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:46,839 Speaker 1: going to be sick, that their kids are hurt. 759 00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:48,120 Speaker 2: It doesn't matter. 760 00:44:47,920 --> 00:44:51,000 Speaker 1: How old you are. Yeah, it makes no difference. What 761 00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:53,279 Speaker 1: is one lesson that I've taught you. 762 00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:56,759 Speaker 2: To be fierce? Oh? 763 00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:00,200 Speaker 1: Fierce is such a word. If you want something, go 764 00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,839 Speaker 1: for it. You know how I finished the podcast off 765 00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:07,839 Speaker 1: right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a 766 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:12,959 Speaker 1: piece of advice before you ever became a mom, what 767 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:19,080 Speaker 1: do you tell yourself? Cherish every single day because they 768 00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:23,640 Speaker 1: grow up so fast. I always used to look at 769 00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:26,319 Speaker 1: when I would hold you, I would look at your 770 00:45:26,320 --> 00:45:30,000 Speaker 1: little hand and try and put that in my brain 771 00:45:30,080 --> 00:45:33,120 Speaker 1: that I would not forget what that little hand looked like, 772 00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:37,799 Speaker 1: or that little foot or anything like that. I used 773 00:45:37,840 --> 00:45:39,840 Speaker 1: to say, I want to see this, I want to 774 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:45,560 Speaker 1: remember this. So many times we let things just go 775 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:50,640 Speaker 1: by so fast without stopping to take a moment, and 776 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:56,880 Speaker 1: life happens so fast and you can go forward, you 777 00:45:56,960 --> 00:46:01,279 Speaker 1: can't go back. So don't don't forget to stop and 778 00:46:01,360 --> 00:46:04,840 Speaker 1: smell the little baby shampoo. It's so interesting because usually 779 00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,520 Speaker 1: at this point I would ask you to tell the 780 00:46:07,600 --> 00:46:09,400 Speaker 1: hurdlers where they could follow. 781 00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,560 Speaker 2: Along with you. But you're not a big can't follow 782 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:14,279 Speaker 2: along with me? 783 00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:17,960 Speaker 3: No, you can wave to her if you see her 784 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:21,680 Speaker 3: on her walks in Milford. In Milford, yep, by the beach, 785 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:25,680 Speaker 3: on my walks. Liking everything that you post. 786 00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:28,640 Speaker 2: You'll see her in the likes and in the comment section. 787 00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,480 Speaker 1: No, I don't comment too much, but I like everything, 788 00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:36,360 Speaker 1: like everything I am over at Hurdle Podcast at Emily 789 00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:41,840 Speaker 1: and Boddy. Happy Mother's Day Mom, Thank you Emily. Another 790 00:46:41,920 --> 00:46:51,920 Speaker 1: Hurdle cotcard. Catch you guys next time.