WEBVTT - CALLING FROM REHAB 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.560 Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:04.440 I wanted to talk to you guys about a new 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.880 thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:12.680 endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:17.400 at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:20.479 gek Legends, as I call them, we'll be able to 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:24.360 get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.720 ad free. They'll also get a bonus podcast episode once 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:30.840 a month, a bonus live show episode once a month 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.240 from all of the live shows I've been doing around 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.200 the world, a member's only live stream once a month. 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:39.960 Plus you'll also support my ability to continue, hopefully doing 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:43.000 this podcast for a long time, doing it around the world, 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:47.919 and also supporting my ability to occasionally go eat a 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:52.720 slice of pizza. Go to Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:55.560 com or find the link in the episode description to 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.520 become a gek legend today. All right, let's get into 0:00:59.520 --> 0:00:59.960 the episode. 0:01:00.720 --> 0:01:02.280 All from Benjamin. 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:05.360 Hello, Hello, what's going on? 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:11.000 Not much? I'm calling you from rehab. Oh really, yeah, 0:01:11.000 --> 0:01:13.679 I'm two months in, two months sober as a last Friday. 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:17.000 What's what's rehab like? 0:01:18.680 --> 0:01:18.920 Oh? 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:22.360 It's been good so far. I mean, I've got an 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:25.319 eight month old daughter, so it's pretty hard being here 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:28.000 away from her. But it feels good to have been 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:30.400 sober for her for the last two months. That's been awesome. 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.920 What is this alcohol that we're talking or something else? 0:01:35.240 --> 0:01:38.080 It was alcohol, and like copious amounts of pot, like 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:45.720 insane marathon smoker's amount of pot. Interesting, for about five years, 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.360 I smoked like an ounce to two ounces a day. 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:54.080 You smoked an ounce of pot a day for five years. Sorry, 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:57.280 I'm out too, that's crazy. 0:01:57.400 --> 0:02:00.440 It's all good. Yeah, it was nuts. Again, it was 0:02:00.520 --> 0:02:01.720 not good for. 0:02:02.040 --> 0:02:06.000 An ounce of pot a day. Oh my god. Sorry. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:07.880 I mean yeah, I feel like I'm making fun to read. 0:02:07.960 --> 0:02:09.480 But I mean no, I mean no, I'm I don't. 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:11.560 I'm I mean, that's under that's that's that's a lot. 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:14.400 That's wild. Yeah, that is because when you said pot, 0:02:14.480 --> 0:02:17.760 I was like, I don't. I've never heard of someone 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.640 in real I mean, obviously alcohol people are going to 0:02:20.639 --> 0:02:21.600 be have for it all the time, but I've never 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:24.960 heard somebody in rehab for for pot. And I mean 0:02:25.040 --> 0:02:28.200 an ounce is how do you afford that? Holy shit, 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:32.000 it's like an ounce of pot. It's like one hundred bucks, right, Yeah. 0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:34.840 Well, yeah, it's just here amount. I grew a lot 0:02:34.880 --> 0:02:37.840 of it myself. I'm in Canada, so it's pretty easy 0:02:37.840 --> 0:02:41.079 to grow it and get away with it. And yeah, 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:43.400 a lot of it. I just I made money, like 0:02:43.480 --> 0:02:44.799 I was in school for a while, but I was 0:02:44.840 --> 0:02:46.560 also making money on the side. I had a lot 0:02:46.560 --> 0:02:48.799 of savings, so I kind of just burned through a 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:50.560 lot of money really could have. 0:02:51.800 --> 0:02:55.480 Mm okay, so what were you were you were you 0:02:55.560 --> 0:02:57.360 selling what you grew or I mean, you know, you 0:02:57.400 --> 0:02:59.600 can plead the fifth on that if you want. Oh wait, 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:01.560 you guys don't have the fit, you don't have the fit? 0:03:01.800 --> 0:03:04.760 Yeah, fat no, No, I was. I was selling it, 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:08.560 not super not legally, but I definitely was, and that 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:10.000 helps fund a lot of it. And then you know, 0:03:10.120 --> 0:03:12.600 I have buddies. I went through a couple of jobs 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:15.000 where I like use my job as leverage to get pot. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:18.359 I managed at campground for a while and doing that, 0:03:18.440 --> 0:03:21.600 like it was near a bunch of indigenous dispensaries, so 0:03:21.600 --> 0:03:23.239 I'd let the indigenous guys come in and use the 0:03:23.240 --> 0:03:24.960 boat launch for free and they give me like that's 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:26.679 pretty cool. Now it's a pot a day. 0:03:27.639 --> 0:03:30.040 Look forgive me for my ignorance. But does Canada even 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:32.640 have laws and jail? 0:03:32.680 --> 0:03:37.200 And yes, yeah we have laws. There are like a 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:39.360 lot of laws around weeds. Like right now, if you 0:03:39.440 --> 0:03:41.560 buy edibles at a dispenser, you can't get a single 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.760 edible over like ten milligrams. Really there are there's weird Yeah, 0:03:45.840 --> 0:03:47.960 there's really weird laws. But you could buy like two 0:03:48.000 --> 0:03:48.680 ounces weed. 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:52.240 Okay, weird, so you can you can buy for you 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:53.600 a two days supply of weed. 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:57.080 Oh yeah, easily. Yeah. And if I like, you can 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.320 go to multiple dispensers, you could have like ten ounces 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:00.600 by the end of the day if you wanted to. 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:03.120 Where is that what you were doing? 0:04:04.400 --> 0:04:07.320 Yeah? Sometimes yeah wow. 0:04:09.000 --> 0:04:09.640 Throw a bomb? 0:04:10.960 --> 0:04:13.760 Yeah yeah, like hard and like near the end, I 0:04:13.800 --> 0:04:16.280 started doing diamonds. So I'd like heat up a spoon 0:04:16.279 --> 0:04:19.039 with a buttane torch until it got cherry red and 0:04:19.040 --> 0:04:21.960 then like drop diamonds onto the spoon and then in hail 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.000 that to like a milk jump that I'd cut half off, 0:04:24.120 --> 0:04:25.719 like a way half gram at a time. 0:04:26.240 --> 0:04:28.159 What was it? What's the diamond? 0:04:28.920 --> 0:04:34.880 It's like ninety pc distilled into a crystal. It's hardcore. 0:04:36.240 --> 0:04:38.839 That you know what's hilarious is like they you can't 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:45.200 overdose on weed, but it's you are proof that you 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:46.520 cannot overdose on weed. 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:50.479 Yeah, basically if you could. 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.240 You would have. You would have been super dead. 0:04:54.040 --> 0:04:55.920 Yeah, no, no kidding, I would have. And I mean, 0:04:55.960 --> 0:04:58.119 like I had other crazy times when I did tons 0:04:58.160 --> 0:04:59.920 of weed, Like one day I took a thousand mili 0:05:00.040 --> 0:05:04.359 rams of edibles at once and like that felt like 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:06.520 I was gonna die. That was nuts. 0:05:07.320 --> 0:05:10.839 One thousand milligrams of I would feel like for you, 0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:14.159 after all this smoking, your tolerance would be such that 0:05:14.240 --> 0:05:17.720 a thousand milligrams would be like if I took fucking ten. 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:21.719 Yeah, Like, well I also took two tabs of acid 0:05:21.720 --> 0:05:22.360 at the same time. 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:23.560 That. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:26.960 Yeah, it was a it was a wombo combo. 0:05:28.640 --> 0:05:32.839 So what was the what? Why? Why why were you? 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:34.720 Why were you smoking an ounce of we to day? 0:05:34.720 --> 0:05:37.920 If you even have an answer to that question, Oh. 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.600 Yeah, I definitely do. Like, Okay, I'm gonna go back 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:43.760 a little bit. I've always been addicted to something Like 0:05:43.960 --> 0:05:45.919 even when I was a little kid, I like my 0:05:46.000 --> 0:05:47.719 parents were very much like they didn't allow me to 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:49.560 have video games, they didn't allow me to eat sugar, 0:05:49.600 --> 0:05:51.440 all sorts of stuff, So I like I didn't know 0:05:51.440 --> 0:05:53.520 how to regulate my own dopamine kind of. 0:05:53.960 --> 0:05:54.200 Yeah. 0:05:54.200 --> 0:05:56.200 So like I remember, even at like five or six 0:05:56.279 --> 0:05:58.560 years old, I'd read a book and I like try 0:05:58.600 --> 0:06:00.560 to reread the book to get the same enjoyment out 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:02.720 of it, but of course you wouldn't. I get frustrated 0:06:02.720 --> 0:06:06.039 and angry at the book. Or like when I did 0:06:06.040 --> 0:06:08.120 finally start being able to play video games, I get 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:10.680 really angry when a video game didn't satisfy me the 0:06:10.720 --> 0:06:15.080 same way. And I didn't start drinking and smoking until 0:06:15.240 --> 0:06:20.200 I was about nineteen. Started smoking when I entered university, 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:24.080 started drinking when I entered in university, And yeah, this 0:06:24.120 --> 0:06:25.800 whole time I was smoking, I was also drinking like 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:29.080 twenty to forty drinks a week, so it was a lot. 0:06:29.440 --> 0:06:32.320 And then of course, like university got stressful. I was 0:06:32.320 --> 0:06:35.479 still doing super well, but like the stress would just 0:06:35.520 --> 0:06:37.400 get to me. So for a couple of years I 0:06:37.440 --> 0:06:40.000 was just smoking and drinking on the weekends. Then that 0:06:40.080 --> 0:06:42.040 started to become during the week, and then that started 0:06:42.080 --> 0:06:46.760 becoming like every day, morning and night, and then most 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:51.279 recently I was in a PhD in experimental psychology, I 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.400 did my first year in that, and then I just 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:56.120 realized I hated what I was doing. And after I 0:06:56.200 --> 0:06:58.200 dropped out of that, it got really bad because I 0:06:58.279 --> 0:07:00.880 just had nothing luck to do, tons of savings. So 0:07:00.920 --> 0:07:03.200 that's when I really started smoking, like an out the 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:07.599 day and yeah, yeah, I couldn't. I couldn't stop. I 0:07:07.640 --> 0:07:10.160 tried for a long time. When my daughter was born, 0:07:10.200 --> 0:07:12.160 I thought that would give me the motivation to stop, 0:07:12.560 --> 0:07:14.240 and it helped me slow down a bit, but I 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:16.600 definitely couldn't stop, and I just relapsed, going back to 0:07:16.680 --> 0:07:22.480 like an house a day. And then finally, yeah, some 0:07:22.520 --> 0:07:24.440 stuff happened with my wife that was kind of like 0:07:24.880 --> 0:07:28.040 rock bottom for me. Got like super drunk one night, 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.600 things went off the rails, and she finally told me, 0:07:30.680 --> 0:07:33.800 you know, but you better just smart enough for you 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:35.520 gotta you got to go to rehab or something or 0:07:35.560 --> 0:07:37.200 if it's over between us and you're not going to 0:07:37.240 --> 0:07:40.120 get see your daughter. So I just I said, yeah, 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:42.240 I need help. At this point, he went to rehab. 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:46.920 M and you've been here for two months. 0:07:47.720 --> 0:07:51.160 Yeah, I've been sober for two months. Yeah, a year 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:57.640 long program. Uh, I'm feeling pretty good, Like I'm definitely 0:07:57.680 --> 0:08:01.040 used to being sober. Now, I kind of worry that 0:08:01.080 --> 0:08:03.520 I've just transferred to other addictions because like I've started 0:08:03.560 --> 0:08:06.000 going to the gym like two hours a day to 0:08:06.040 --> 0:08:09.080 fill up my time, and that kind of worries me 0:08:09.080 --> 0:08:10.480 that when I get out, I'm just going to work 0:08:10.520 --> 0:08:12.960 out constantly just to stave off with the anxiety. But 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:14.520 I've only two men too. 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.960 You're you're worried that you're gonna fucking get jacked. 0:08:20.280 --> 0:08:22.560 Like my goal while I'm being here is to get 0:08:22.560 --> 0:08:24.520 to the point where I'm not addicted to anything. Like 0:08:24.600 --> 0:08:26.720 there's not one thing that I just have to do 0:08:26.840 --> 0:08:29.520 every day or I'll go absolutely nuts. So, like I 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.400 want to be able to exercise and work out, and 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:33.520 I don't want it to like if I miss a day, 0:08:33.559 --> 0:08:35.560 I don't want to like freak out and get crazy 0:08:35.559 --> 0:08:36.640 anxiety or something. 0:08:37.920 --> 0:08:41.640 I'm sorry, I'm stupid. Is anyone not addicted to any 0:08:41.840 --> 0:08:45.280 like anything? Like, is there anyone out there who has 0:08:45.480 --> 0:08:50.440 no addictions at all? Even if we can consider we 0:08:50.480 --> 0:08:52.319 can consider going to the gym and addiction. 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:57.120 Yeah, yeah, no, you're right, You're right, Like everybody has 0:08:57.160 --> 0:09:01.199 something that they just have to do, just like everything 0:09:01.240 --> 0:09:03.960 I've done in my life has God, I've gotten crazy 0:09:04.000 --> 0:09:06.840 compulsive about like I used to. I used to also 0:09:06.840 --> 0:09:08.640 go to the gym a ton when I was nineteen 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.160 or twenty, and I would go like two hours a day, 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:14.160 six days a week. And then I finally like one 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:16.480 night I arm wrestled fourteen guys in a row with 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.080 both arms. When I got up the next morning, I'd 0:09:19.120 --> 0:09:21.360 blown out both my shoulders and I couldn't work out 0:09:21.400 --> 0:09:25.280 at all, and it just destroyed me. Like I super 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:28.280 depressed for months, and like I just I had no 0:09:28.400 --> 0:09:30.439 self esteem after that. So like, I don't want to 0:09:30.440 --> 0:09:33.440 get super wrapped up in just one thing like that 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:35.960 again and then just be completely left down if it 0:09:35.960 --> 0:09:36.960 becomes impossible to do. 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:39.880 You know, wait, you you hola, you are I I 0:09:40.080 --> 0:09:42.720 You ended that talking about how depressed and low self 0:09:42.800 --> 0:09:44.679 esteem you were, but I was I didn't catch that 0:09:44.679 --> 0:09:48.800 part because I was trying to like you arm wrestled 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:53.080 fourteen guys with both like you were, like they like 0:09:53.240 --> 0:09:56.360 seven guys in each a line, and You're like, what 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:57.200 is what is that? 0:09:58.480 --> 0:09:59.960 Yeah? Yeah, no, it was my It was my first 0:10:00.320 --> 0:10:02.040 So I did a year of Bible college before I 0:10:02.080 --> 0:10:05.040 went to university, and we had like this first men's 0:10:05.080 --> 0:10:07.079 getting to know each other retreat type thing. We all 0:10:07.080 --> 0:10:09.240 decided to arm wrestle and just nobody could beat me 0:10:09.280 --> 0:10:10.960 because it was like two hundred and ten pounds at 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:13.760 the time. I just arm wrestled like fourteen people because 0:10:13.840 --> 0:10:15.439 none of them could beat me. And then I got 0:10:15.520 --> 0:10:17.720 up the next morning and I literally couldn't lift my 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:20.000 like my arms above my shoulders because I had blown 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:21.280 out both rotator cuffs. 0:10:22.480 --> 0:10:25.040 You got like arm russel gang banged. 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:33.240 Literally huh So, Yeah, I'm just super obsessive of everything, 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:35.160 and that's that's one of the reasons I'm rehab and 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:37.280 I'm trying to trying to get that in order. 0:10:40.040 --> 0:10:43.800 When your daughter was born eight months ago, yep, yep, 0:10:45.040 --> 0:10:47.240 how and okay, and so in this this is a 0:10:47.320 --> 0:10:51.320 year long program, and so are you what's the deal 0:10:51.360 --> 0:10:51.880 with it? Is it? 0:10:51.920 --> 0:10:52.000 Like? 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:56.000 Okay, I'm how do I say this? Are you? So 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:58.360 it's like is it like a sleep away camp type 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:01.400 of vibe or like are you what are you doing 0:11:01.440 --> 0:11:02.200 for this whole year? 0:11:03.760 --> 0:11:06.360 Yeah, It's it's kind of unique. It's not like a 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:09.920 lot of rehab centers. It's actually a working farm. So 0:11:09.960 --> 0:11:12.880 I'm on this giant farm and I'm here for a year, 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:15.120 and they kind of split it up into three quarters, 0:11:15.120 --> 0:11:17.040 so the first or four quarters. So the first quarter 0:11:17.120 --> 0:11:19.439 is just like getting your health in order, getting back 0:11:19.440 --> 0:11:22.840 into exercising, trying to eat well. The second quarter you 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:27.680 do a lot of like AA style stuff therapy. The 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:30.480 third quarter you can start to like work again and 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:33.600 like get your job and stuff. So it's like a 0:11:33.720 --> 0:11:36.079 really integrated program. It's not like most places where they 0:11:36.120 --> 0:11:37.840 just bring you in and like tell you to sober 0:11:37.920 --> 0:11:39.960 up and then kick you out the door when you're done. 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.760 There's a lot more, a lot more going on, especially 0:11:42.800 --> 0:11:45.000 in like the later the later months of being here. 0:11:45.080 --> 0:11:47.280 They like help people find jobs, and I help people 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:51.480 get their driver's licenses back and all sorts of stuff. Okay, 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:54.120 but yeah, I live here and then I get to 0:11:54.120 --> 0:11:57.120 go home on the weekends to my partner and my daughter, 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.679 which is awesome. So I'm here from like Friday to Sunday, 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.760 and then I come back here Monday to Friday. 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:05.000 Interesting, and do you have a job while you're doing this? 0:12:05.040 --> 0:12:05.600 Are you working? 0:12:06.800 --> 0:12:08.960 I work in the kitchen here, so I work like 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:10.960 twenty five to three hours a week just cooking for 0:12:11.000 --> 0:12:12.880 all the other guys here and. 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.079 They and do they pay you on top of like 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:17.640 how does how does that work? 0:12:18.840 --> 0:12:21.400 No, we pay to be here and get we don't 0:12:21.400 --> 0:12:24.320 get paid for our work here. But luckily in Canada, 0:12:24.640 --> 0:12:27.120 in the province, I mean actually you can claim EI 0:12:27.360 --> 0:12:32.160 like employment insurance for medical causes for substance abuse. So 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:34.640 my doctor just signed off saying that, like I needed 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:37.760 rehab and the government pays me, Like I think it's 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:39.960 like twenty three hundred bucks a month just to be here, 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.760 so it completely covers the cost of rehab plus more. 0:12:43.360 --> 0:12:46.080 So you're not going out of out of you're not 0:12:46.160 --> 0:12:49.199 losing you. So the government basically paid for you to 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:49.800 get a reheab. 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:52.240 Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty sweet. 0:12:52.640 --> 0:12:56.040 Fucking ten points for Canada. God damn right. 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:58.120 And it's not in every province either. I'm lucky. I'm 0:12:58.120 --> 0:13:00.240 in British Columbia, so they were one of the few 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:04.439 provinces that does that. Are you near Vancouver, Yeah, I'm 0:13:04.440 --> 0:13:08.640 coming to your show in June. Was gonna I'm gonna 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:10.600 wear all greens, so if you see me in the audience, 0:13:10.600 --> 0:13:13.400 I'm in green sweat fans, green hoodie, green two green everything. 0:13:14.120 --> 0:13:16.520 Fuck. Yeah, Well look here's the thing. You're not gonna 0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.280 need all that weed anymore. So if you want to 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:20.719 bring into the show and give it to me, I 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:21.920 would gladly accept it. 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:26.720 I threw out all my wheed a long time ago, 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:31.120 but I'm not gonna let myself go near it again. 0:13:33.160 --> 0:13:37.200 Okay, So, how what do you actually do every day? 0:13:38.640 --> 0:13:41.520 Yeah? Well, like so it's a kind of a weekly schedule, 0:13:41.600 --> 0:13:44.199 so Mondays and Fridays. In the mornings, we have classes 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.240 can range from anything from like I've done relaxation therapy, 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:53.079 We've done anger management courses, We've done something called smart Recovery, 0:13:53.080 --> 0:13:56.760 which is kind of like AA. And then for in 0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.199 the evenings you do some kind of like group therapy 0:13:59.320 --> 0:14:02.280 or like class. So tonight we had a sharing group 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:04.120 where we just get together with a couple of guys 0:14:04.120 --> 0:14:06.240 that are in the rooms around us and talk to 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:09.280 them about our week. Wednesday nights, they have a speaker 0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:12.560 come in Thursday night. The one guy gets up and 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:14.760 like shares this whole life store to everybody else. And 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:16.839 then basically all the other time during the day, we're 0:14:16.840 --> 0:14:19.520 all working different jobs around the farm. It's like some 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:22.000 guys work in a greenhouse, some guys working at barn. 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:26.160 Some guys do woodworking, some guys do pottery. I work 0:14:26.200 --> 0:14:28.480 in the kitchen, which I really love. But yeah, everybody 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.040 just kind of splits up and we all do different 0:14:30.040 --> 0:14:35.200 things and it's almost like a little socialist farm almost. 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:39.200 Huh are you what? Now? What did you do for 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:42.400 work before you went to rehab? Oh? 0:14:42.520 --> 0:14:45.040 Man, I did a lot of stuff. Like I said, 0:14:45.080 --> 0:14:48.920 I was in a PhD in experimental psychology for a year, 0:14:49.440 --> 0:14:52.360 realized I hated that. I dropped out of that, and 0:14:52.400 --> 0:14:55.080 that's where I met my partner who I would later 0:14:55.120 --> 0:14:57.080 have a daughter with. So we moved back to BC. 0:14:58.240 --> 0:15:00.000 I started working at a campground for a while when 0:15:00.040 --> 0:15:01.960 we were living out of my truck camper, like with 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:05.560 solar pannels and the whole thing at this campground. I 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:07.360 did that for about a year, and then we found 0:15:07.360 --> 0:15:09.880 out she was pregnant, so I quit that because we 0:15:09.920 --> 0:15:13.800 couldn't raise our daughter in a truck camper. And then 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:16.040 I got a job that is up there was at 0:15:16.080 --> 0:15:19.160 a business owned by my best friend, at an auto recycler, 0:15:19.600 --> 0:15:21.560 and I was training to go into sales there to 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:26.360 sell car engines and transmissions and all sorts of stuff. 0:15:26.880 --> 0:15:28.680 I did that for about a year, and then my 0:15:28.720 --> 0:15:31.200 mental health is just getting so bad with all the 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.080 drinking and the smoking, and like the stress of my 0:15:34.160 --> 0:15:36.200 daughter just added to all that, and I just quit 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.280 my job and then put a month later, I just 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:41.480 crashed hit rock bottom, and then that's when I was 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.680 just kind of forced to come to rehab. But it's 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.720 a good thing I did, so I kind of just 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:48.120 bounced around for a long time. 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:50.600 Do you have what is your Do you have like 0:15:50.640 --> 0:15:54.240 a plan for the future of like what you want 0:15:54.280 --> 0:15:55.040 to do when you get out. 0:15:56.600 --> 0:15:59.080 Yeah, I'm not sure yet. I've only been here a 0:15:59.080 --> 0:16:01.760 couple of months, so I'm kind of just stabilizing right now, 0:16:01.920 --> 0:16:05.480 and I don't really figure out exactly what I want 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:09.360 to do. My partner is good school right now, and 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:13.040 she we're kind of we're kind of opposite. She loves 0:16:13.040 --> 0:16:14.960 having a job and working and I mean the same 0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:19.440 sort of routine every day and I hate that. So 0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:21.880 what we're actually hoping in the future is I'd love 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:23.560 to be a stay at home dad, and we both 0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:25.280 want to have like a little farm one day where 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.920 we grow plants and have animals and stuff. So hopefully 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.840 down the road she can be the bread winner and 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:32.920 I can just take care of her kids and do 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.600 the housework and cook and clean, and that's that's kind 0:16:36.640 --> 0:16:41.400 of what I love to do, if I'm being honest. 0:16:39.120 --> 0:16:46.720 M m hmmm. So what what does she do again? 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:51.480 She is a student right now. She's actually Indigenous, so 0:16:51.680 --> 0:16:54.320 while she's in school, she's getting funding from her band 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.160 and from the government to go to school. So she's 0:16:57.160 --> 0:16:59.200 basically get she's basically getting paid to go to school. 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:00.680 She gets like four grand in the month. 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:04.280 So the Canadian government pays for her to go to 0:17:04.320 --> 0:17:05.040 school and stuff. 0:17:05.720 --> 0:17:07.880 Well, they don't pay her directly. They like give her 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:12.639 band money, like her specific indigenous group, and then that 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.240 they give her money out of that. And because she's 0:17:15.280 --> 0:17:16.840 going to school full time and she has a kid, 0:17:16.880 --> 0:17:19.240 they've basically just decided to give her four grand a month. 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:24.320 Oh so yeah, we're we're doing pretty good. Like financially, 0:17:24.359 --> 0:17:26.320 we're okay. Neither of us have to work. She just 0:17:26.359 --> 0:17:28.359 studies full time and takes care of the baby. And 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:31.480 I I'm in rehab, so I just kind of do 0:17:31.600 --> 0:17:33.600 my thing here and then do everything I can to 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:34.600 help on the weekends. 0:17:34.960 --> 0:17:37.040 When you said doing pretty good, I finally heard your 0:17:37.040 --> 0:17:37.879 Canadian accent. 0:17:40.000 --> 0:17:42.359 Yeah, yeah, it doesn't come out as much on the 0:17:42.359 --> 0:17:46.320 West coast, but I guess yeah, m hmm. 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:51.480 So are you making Are you making friends in rehab? 0:17:51.520 --> 0:17:53.040 The way that you described it as like kind of 0:17:53.080 --> 0:17:57.680 a commune farm, it sounds like a place that would foster, 0:17:59.840 --> 0:18:02.600 you know, connections of some kind. Are you finding that 0:18:02.600 --> 0:18:04.720 to be true totally? 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:08.000 Yeah. Yeah, It's definitely way different from other rehabs around here, 0:18:08.040 --> 0:18:10.240 where it's kind of just lock you up and get 0:18:10.280 --> 0:18:13.080 sober kind of thing. Honestly, Like if you wanted to 0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:16.360 get drugs here, it'd be super super easy. They don't 0:18:16.400 --> 0:18:18.920 search you or anything, and like people can go home 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:21.199 on the weekend. So it's more of a place that 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:24.119 guys come to who like really really are committed to 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:27.000 staying sober and working out things in their lives and 0:18:27.000 --> 0:18:29.600 trying to be happy. So as a result, like most 0:18:29.600 --> 0:18:32.640 of the guys here are like super social and it's 0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:33.600 really easy to make friends. 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:37.119 Yeah, everybody's order type of place. 0:18:37.800 --> 0:18:41.880 Not at all, not at all. I've broken down crying 0:18:41.880 --> 0:18:44.359 in front of guys here multiple times, and everybody's just 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:48.280 like super supportive and like right there for you. It's 0:18:48.320 --> 0:18:48.919 really awesome. 0:18:49.640 --> 0:18:53.880 Yeah, you know, I always sorry I'm complaining, but I've 0:18:53.880 --> 0:18:58.280 always I wish I could go to rehab for like 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:04.200 sugar that probably exists. Is this that exists, rehab being 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:09.240 addicted to Reese's Cups? Is there a rehab? Rehab is 0:19:09.280 --> 0:19:10.560 the rehab you could come? 0:19:11.400 --> 0:19:13.320 You can come here. They have they have people who 0:19:13.320 --> 0:19:15.760 come in for like sugar addictions. Like there's one guy 0:19:15.760 --> 0:19:18.960 who's just here because he was depressed. He just he 0:19:19.040 --> 0:19:23.160 just came here and they took him. Really, it's pretty open. Yeah, 0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:24.480 it's pretty open to interpretation. 0:19:25.000 --> 0:19:27.560