Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This I'm your host,
Speaker 1: Kevin Pollic. Yes, yes, yes, yes yes that oh big
Speaker 1: fan of pepper. Yeah, it goes on all savory dishes
Speaker 1: pretty much before I try them. Wait, I'm sorry, did
Speaker 1: you say angel dust? But I digress. Let's meet our alchemist,
Speaker 1: shall we? In no particular order. Let's quickly check in
Speaker 1: with Gary Anthony Williams for his two pet clothing review
Speaker 1: Carola pet clothing review. Oh that's the one we cannot
Speaker 1: my friend. I am literally and I'm not even joking.
Speaker 1: You could be my best friend in the world that
Speaker 1: if you showed up at my house anything do not.
Speaker 1: I'm not even joking. I will strip your dog down
Speaker 1: and I will kick you out. I'll strip it down
Speaker 1: before I kick you out, because I don't want that
Speaker 1: dog to have to go through that. I don't want
Speaker 1: to look at My girlfriend keeps showing me pictures of
Speaker 1: dogs and pantyhose and its. Yeah, as much as I
Speaker 1: love her, that pisses me right off. Sure, and maybe
Speaker 1: that's why she's showing you boy. Okay, thank you, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: Oh my, there's Jackie Conzos through with Jay. Hey, what shoe?
Speaker 1: Are you loving the most these Well, I'm living in
Speaker 1: my hookas and you know it. You know I'm living
Speaker 1: in my sneakers. I'm still dealing with my feet problems.
Speaker 1: I won't regale you. I'm still in physical therapy. So
Speaker 1: it like it's Hoca or bust. Yeah, howcas the ship.
Speaker 1: And by the way, I don't have these uh maladies
Speaker 1: word I haven't used. I just realized in too many years.
Speaker 1: But I love the hoca, can't get enough of them them,
Speaker 1: and I love the wild colors they come in. I
Speaker 1: just think fun and um, that's my shoe preference. That's
Speaker 1: my that's my shoe, that's my shoe. I keep hearing
Speaker 1: from people who have these foot maladies that are wearing them.
Speaker 1: Now I'm gonna overuse it, that are wearing Hocus, and
Speaker 1: I think, are they giving me problems? Should I not
Speaker 1: be wearing Hocus. I started wearing them after I had
Speaker 1: the maladies, after the maladies hit me, and then I
Speaker 1: started wearing them. An I DM Gary and I said,
Speaker 1: you tell me what shoe you're wearing because I heard
Speaker 1: you talk about how much you love your shoes. And
Speaker 1: then I right now google dog and pantyhose which was
Speaker 1: a big stock. It's not it's not look so disturbing.
Speaker 1: But also I'm like, I'm so happy disturbing and happy
Speaker 1: brain cleansing. No, no, please, thank you, give, thank you
Speaker 1: for and if you're a member of our patron supporters,
Speaker 1: you'll see the visuals just like we are back by
Speaker 1: popular demand here now at tools seeing a tool postcards
Speaker 1: from his hedge. Do you use any particular type of
Speaker 1: pen when sending a missive using this is very good question,
Speaker 1: thank you, Kevin Um. So I use a pilot G
Speaker 1: two seven That is probably my preferred pen. I would
Speaker 1: like to use a nice like I have Fountain pens um,
Speaker 1: but I lose good pens. So the goal was started
Speaker 1: about ten years ago. If I can maintain for a
Speaker 1: while not losing a pen, then out a lot be
Speaker 1: allowed to get a nice pen. But I have not
Speaker 1: been able to not lose pens, so I haven't treated
Speaker 1: myself to anything but G two O seven Um ball points,
Speaker 1: you thicker. I liked my pens to bleed, if that
Speaker 1: makes sense. And there's a paper mate as well that
Speaker 1: I really love a ballpoint as well. But all right,
Speaker 1: thank you for that. Dogs and pantyhose and pens it blade,
Speaker 1: got it. Hey, there's Mark Gagliardi, Marcus. Oh really us?
Speaker 1: Where why do they call it a Caesar South Because
Speaker 1: not a lot of people know this. It has in
Speaker 1: the bowl a tiny thumb that if two people are fighting,
Speaker 1: the little thumb will pop out and give either a
Speaker 1: thumbs up or a thumbs down, and you will you
Speaker 1: will have to kill your dinner mate. Actually, it is
Speaker 1: named after Caesar, a chef in a Tijuana restaurant who
Speaker 1: invented the dish when the kitchen went down one night.
Speaker 1: It was invented as a table side. Nothing to do
Speaker 1: with the Yeah, and his name was Caesar. Has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with Italy, and yet it winds up on
Speaker 1: Italian all the time. Most people, myself included, I feel
Speaker 1: it's synonymous with your Italian fair. Yeah, it is a
Speaker 1: full on Mexican that I will not And that and
Speaker 1: last but only honk if you're unusually horny, if you
Speaker 1: think of Lisa's Craig Kakowski kakaw Oh man, what man?
Speaker 1: Digging deep? Digging deep? Yeah, that's what I've got written down.
Speaker 1: How are you I'm doing alright, I'm doing alright. You
Speaker 1: never you never asked that and I'm doing I'm doing
Speaker 1: pretty good. Okay, good? Are you getting out? Are you
Speaker 1: venturing outside these days? Uh? No, we have been. We
Speaker 1: just got word that our friend that we had dinner
Speaker 1: with Saturday came down with COVID, so like what happens?
Speaker 1: And then I gotta skip a premiere tonight that I
Speaker 1: was going to just out of out of caution. But
Speaker 1: now that I know how many pictures of dogs and
Speaker 1: padios are out there, I'm gonna be fine staying at
Speaker 1: home for a while. I mean, I think we do.
Speaker 1: I think we know too much. Let's do it. I'm
Speaker 1: sure all of our scene suggestions, as you may well know,
Speaker 1: gathered from your listener emails or from our patron v
Speaker 1: i P s. What's that you'd like to become a
Speaker 1: patron v i P. Well, it's it's quite simple, and
Speaker 1: I don't blame it because there's all sorts of exclusive
Speaker 1: content that has designed and created just for you, including
Speaker 1: a video of what we're doing right the fun Now, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's not out there for for mass consumption. That is
Speaker 1: for our patients supporters own head on order patron dot com,
Speaker 1: slash Alchemy. This we'd else like to hear from our
Speaker 1: listeners who just want to write in a scene suggestion.
Speaker 1: You want to send it via old timey email, do
Speaker 1: it right us at Alchemy. This email at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: See one, in fact, comes from Patron v I P. Philip.
Speaker 1: Hello Philip, he wrote, Hey, folks, I skipped the intro
Speaker 1: in the last few messages, so I just wanted to
Speaker 1: thank you again for doing this craziness, especially now my
Speaker 1: obsession with Alchemy. This made me finally sign up for
Speaker 1: a six week improv course starting April. Yeah, so let's
Speaker 1: see how that goes. Report back to us, Philip. The
Speaker 1: scene suggestion today lands like birds shoot on a black shoe. Huh.
Speaker 1: I think really any ship, but it would be unpleasant. Uh.
Speaker 1: The scene suggestion is as follows pigeons in a shooting school.
Speaker 1: Love you all, Philip. Alright, what time? What time did
Speaker 1: you say that the buyers will be here? The buyers
Speaker 1: are gonna be here two pm? Okay, alright, alright, I'm
Speaker 1: glad you're excited. I just want everyone to know that
Speaker 1: this if we, if our company can sell this house,
Speaker 1: then it's gonna boost our annual income by so can't
Speaker 1: even I can't imagine this house not selling. It's it's
Speaker 1: fully glass top full glass on the sides. It's a
Speaker 1: beautiful Yeah, don't that's not scary, not at all. I
Speaker 1: mean they call it. They call it the dome for
Speaker 1: a reason. People, and you've all done great work. Today
Speaker 1: is our last open house and if anyone can find
Speaker 1: a well alright, pigeons, today is the last chance they're
Speaker 1: gonna try to sell this house. It's the last open
Speaker 1: house to haveing for this place. Right below us, you
Speaker 1: see all that glass, Yeah, we can see right into
Speaker 1: they see the little meeting there having in there. Well,
Speaker 1: who do we want people living in our block? Human
Speaker 1: beings living? You have twin brother? We don't want that,
Speaker 1: and we're not gonna have it. That's right. We do
Speaker 1: not my identical twin brother. So what are we gonna
Speaker 1: do up here today? People? What are we gonna do
Speaker 1: to this? We're gonna Lenny and Kenny, can I pose
Speaker 1: a question real quick? Yeah? What is it? The top
Speaker 1: of your celebration, Lenny, you were mentioning how we can
Speaker 1: see down into those people's lives, and it suited dawns
Speaker 1: on me. What is it, Danny? Yeah, if we don't
Speaker 1: ship on the glass, we can continue to see into
Speaker 1: their lives. Nudge nudge, wink wink. I'm let me take this.
Speaker 1: Is this a non pigeon shitting school or a pigeon
Speaker 1: shitting school? You ain't. Yeah, yeah, that's a good question. Kenny,
Speaker 1: our voyeuristic friend, Denny thinks that his voyeurism problem is
Speaker 1: more important than us shipping all over this house to
Speaker 1: make sure no one can live here. Is is that
Speaker 1: what it is? Denny? Is it a problem? Though? This
Speaker 1: with a therapy for three years for your voyeurism? I
Speaker 1: call that a problem. I'd call that a problem. Call
Speaker 1: it a problem. Sounds like a problem to me. Welcome
Speaker 1: to a Welcome to the perching class. We are a
Speaker 1: more of a laid back um school. I know some
Speaker 1: of you have transferred over from the shipping school, and
Speaker 1: first of all, welcome um. We we believe in co
Speaker 1: existing with humans, with dogs, um with dogs that wear clothes,
Speaker 1: all types of man. Is that why you have that
Speaker 1: bumper sticker that says co exists in the shape of
Speaker 1: different animals? Exactly? We took it off this other one
Speaker 1: that the humans have and we kind of repurposed it
Speaker 1: for the way. Good question. A UM as A is
Speaker 1: a roly poly. The o is a turtle. What is
Speaker 1: the e? I can't figure out the even to all
Speaker 1: of them? Does a runover skunk? The eye is a worm?
Speaker 1: The s is this snay? It feels like maybe not
Speaker 1: a diverse enough group. None of them got legs for take.
Speaker 1: Can I ask a question real quick? Hi Danny, when
Speaker 1: you're here and welcome you. You were put a clarification.
Speaker 1: It's still cool to shoot on cats though, right you
Speaker 1: mentioned the stay away from dogs. No, no, we are
Speaker 1: we want to exist with all animals cats are Is
Speaker 1: there a problem? Well, it's not a problem so much
Speaker 1: as a disappointment. I was hoping maybe I could learn
Speaker 1: some new angles. You can try the school down the
Speaker 1: next block if you like, so shoot on children know
Speaker 1: that well, they have a different theory, and I'll let
Speaker 1: them explain it to you. We're not a big fan.
Speaker 1: Oh it's a it's a bird shopping school. Another bird
Speaker 1: shipping school. I thought you many human school. I mean
Speaker 1: you could go to a human school if Bill except you, Sarah, class,
Speaker 1: we have a new student today, and I'd like everyone
Speaker 1: to be very kind to our new student. He's going
Speaker 1: to join us for every he's going to be here
Speaker 1: every day for all of our classes until the end
Speaker 1: of the year. This is Danny. Everybody say Hi, Danny,
Speaker 1: Hi Danny. Danny is a bird, but we don't shame
Speaker 1: him for that. My mom. Yeah, number one diseases in
Speaker 1: the world. Okay, now, see this is what I mean.
Speaker 1: We're making assumptions about birds. Just because Denny's a bird
Speaker 1: doesn't mean he is are the rats of the sky?
Speaker 1: Can I just address that comment directly? And yes, I'm
Speaker 1: a talking pig, of course you can. Danny. Thank you.
Speaker 1: Uh miss I didn't catch your name, but your mother
Speaker 1: has a problem with the rats in the sky. So
Speaker 1: your name is Sophia. Alright, So there's two examples of
Speaker 1: your mother is an idiot. Oh my gosh. Now now, Danny, Danny,
Speaker 1: this is a Montessori school. We don't talk like that, right,
Speaker 1: So when let me know when the monks get here.
Speaker 1: So listen, here's the deal, kids, and hear me out.
Speaker 1: If you if you if you're able to shoot on people,
Speaker 1: you're as you're free as a bird, all right, that's
Speaker 1: something you should take the heart. If you want to
Speaker 1: be free as a bird, you can shoot on whoever
Speaker 1: you want. Hey, Hey, Danny, if it's up. Thanks for
Speaker 1: meeting me. Look, some of the other boys and I
Speaker 1: are gonna go out for ice cream and a mug today,
Speaker 1: and we just thought it was kind of pretty cool
Speaker 1: how you talk to that girl, and we wanted to
Speaker 1: know if you wanted to go out for ice cream
Speaker 1: and a mug with us after school today. I mean
Speaker 1: your kids and I'm a bird. It's kind of weird.
Speaker 1: Um oh, we could try a pirate. You want to
Speaker 1: try a pirate. I could get up on one of
Speaker 1: your shoulders and then we could assume you'll be riding
Speaker 1: your bikes. Yeah. Sure, I just thought we could all
Speaker 1: kind of be equal and just walk down there. But
Speaker 1: if that's what works for you, that's finding me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: were to walk me through the ice cream thing though
Speaker 1: I'm not real clear run what that is? I scream,
Speaker 1: It's like, um oh, let me call somebody. Okay, take
Speaker 1: it that Dedny. Hey, if you're not doing anything after school,
Speaker 1: we could maybe work together. I got this little baggy
Speaker 1: that just needs to be delivered down a couple of
Speaker 1: blocks down if you know what I mean. It just
Speaker 1: doesn't involve flying because I'm not really keen on flying. Oh,
Speaker 1: this will definitely involve. Okay, I'll have somebody else. Yeah, No,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm pretty happy on the ground, Mr Hernandez, everybody's
Speaker 1: I'm feeling very very upset and sad, and I want
Speaker 1: to express it and get it out of my body.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling stifled in my body. Okay, Sophia, why why
Speaker 1: are you feeling stifled in your body? The new guy
Speaker 1: Bird came and then totally bullied me, and then all
Speaker 1: the other guys in the class like him for it
Speaker 1: because their secret bullies. They don't do it out loud,
Speaker 1: but I know they like it when people do it,
Speaker 1: and it makes me feel like a little rotten piece
Speaker 1: of our old apple that was spit out by a
Speaker 1: coyote when it wasn't hungry anymore. Now it's getting taken
Speaker 1: over by mold and also aunts. Okay, no, no, I understand,
Speaker 1: look Sophia. UM. I hate to say this, but the
Speaker 1: culture at the school is not going to change. There
Speaker 1: are schools in the area. They are both both ground
Speaker 1: based and tree based schools. I could actually have you transfer.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have you transferred to another school. This is
Speaker 1: it's a bird shipping school. I think you might be
Speaker 1: happier there. Just you know, if the boys are bothering
Speaker 1: you here, if well, if the birds are bothering you,
Speaker 1: and if Denny, our new student, is bothering you and
Speaker 1: the boys are bothering you, maybe it's kind Sorry, So you, darling,
Speaker 1: come in, sit down. Your father and I've been talking.
Speaker 1: First of all, I was sorry we named you Sophia,
Speaker 1: and that was the basically was mistake. I thought it.
Speaker 1: We're just we're big golden girls. Family loved golden girls
Speaker 1: at any moment of the day. Tell her what you
Speaker 1: did to be Arthur years ago, Darth, Tell her what
Speaker 1: you did to be Arthur. I in the middle of
Speaker 1: be Arthur was doing uh name on Broadway, and I rushed.
Speaker 1: I rushed the stakes broke her ankle. I broke her ankle,
Speaker 1: she fell into the orchestra pit, and then she kicked
Speaker 1: my ass. To be honest with you, now, that's not
Speaker 1: why we call the family meeting Bill. But Mr Hernandez
Speaker 1: Colin said that you had been transferred to a pigeon shitting.
Speaker 1: I don't think it's the right move. I liked the
Speaker 1: Montessori because there I can express my self using art
Speaker 1: and my words, and I can be listened to as
Speaker 1: a whole person. But then I told him and he's
Speaker 1: keep me out. Everything is changing, understood. But your father
Speaker 1: and I do feel like you've been living in this
Speaker 1: house with us, in this neighborhood with people for so long.
Speaker 1: It's time for you to just get out and see
Speaker 1: a different way. We've changed the locks. So after you, yes,
Speaker 1: after you leave tomorrow. Uh ms. The Let me just say,
Speaker 1: first of all, I'm a fan. Now, this is this
Speaker 1: pan I'm holding. I'm gonna go ahead and tap each
Speaker 1: one of your toes individually. You let me know if
Speaker 1: you feel anything. We're gonna start on lower end, otherwise
Speaker 1: known as this little pig. All right, do you feel that, ma'am? Ye?
Speaker 1: Not a scene. One scene too comes from listener DJ,
Speaker 1: who wrote, Hello, Alchemists, I'm in the process of ending
Speaker 1: one of my gym memberships to afford the Alchemniac status.
Speaker 1: Well you you let us know if you were in
Speaker 1: fact successful in that process. Uh and good luck to you, DJ.
Speaker 1: Your heart's in the right place anyways. With that in mind,
Speaker 1: I couldn't help but think about some of the weird
Speaker 1: and often concerning conversations I hear when I am not
Speaker 1: listening to music in the gym, So my scene suggestion
Speaker 1: is personal training that gets a little too personal. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. You guys are fantastic d J. Anyways,
Speaker 1: I said, though, may these are my shoes, get off
Speaker 1: my ass already with this. You know what I'm saying. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know what you're saying. Man. By the way, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is crazy. First of all, I'm loving the nape
Speaker 1: of your neck right now. Yeah. Secondly, um, I saw
Speaker 1: this Mompi stick of the Day for the exist It
Speaker 1: have had a T on the end of it, and
Speaker 1: I was just curious as a motherfucker what what animals
Speaker 1: might make up a T in the in the word
Speaker 1: co exists. I mean to me, it would take a
Speaker 1: couple of them, right, you need to That's that's exactly
Speaker 1: why I wanted to talk to you. By the way,
Speaker 1: that can I can I just to take the back
Speaker 1: of my hand and stroke the nip if we're talking
Speaker 1: the back of your hand. I got no problem with this.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, can I I've been waiting to use this machine. Hey, Hey,
Speaker 1: Jimmy Olsen Take five had put a shock in it. Okay,
Speaker 1: you know why you call you Jimmy Olsen. Right, it's
Speaker 1: a reference. It's a reference. I was already walking away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I know, but I just wanted to catch up to
Speaker 1: you and let you know what was happening. It's a reference.
Speaker 1: It was making a reference. I thank you. I mean
Speaker 1: you guys, you guys, go back to your thing. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna no, no, no, We're gonna follow you know why
Speaker 1: you wait? I thought you were training him what. I'm
Speaker 1: headed to the to the bicep machine because I want to.
Speaker 1: Because you want to work on those sticks sticks? Yeah
Speaker 1: I do. I mean you don't even work here. Would
Speaker 1: you like him to resemble arms? That's my first question.
Speaker 1: I mean, now, you're just insulting me. I don't even
Speaker 1: know who Jimmy Olsen is, but that felt like that
Speaker 1: one wasn't. I tried to tell you it was a reference, man, reference.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go to this bicep machine. Okay, do
Speaker 1: you want us to spot you? But I'm one of
Speaker 1: us can spot you. Sure, fine, let's see what you get.
Speaker 1: He's gonna spot you, and I'm gonna cradle you while
Speaker 1: you live. Oh, I'm going to continue to give you
Speaker 1: grief and bust your balls and take the piss one.
Speaker 1: Can you give me maybe one more? I'm gonna be honest,
Speaker 1: it's more difficult while he's cradling me, and well you can.
Speaker 1: Can you stop playing with the nape of my neck?
Speaker 1: I just want to lift these weights. That's that's a
Speaker 1: that's a man's choice. But I gotta tell you what.
Speaker 1: You got a very nice nape. Second best nap in
Speaker 1: the gym. Thank you three. So listen, you could you
Speaker 1: could go to Golds, you could go to Planet Fitness, sure,
Speaker 1: but this is where you want to be, all right.
Speaker 1: This is a This gym is a party, all right.
Speaker 1: So what well, I'm you know, I'm gonna be trying
Speaker 1: out several different places, so you know, just hoping that
Speaker 1: they'll each make a pisch. I value time. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you value time. You could waste your time looking at
Speaker 1: other gyms. But this is the place when you come
Speaker 1: to Steve and Phil's Jim, this is a place you
Speaker 1: feel home. SMP makes you feed. Now are you Steve
Speaker 1: or Phil? Hey? Phil, got a question for you, buddy,
Speaker 1: just ran out these flyers for you. The SNP makes
Speaker 1: you fee where you trying to put something else at
Speaker 1: the end of that run with feel but then I
Speaker 1: realized it wouldn't rhyme. So you could have gone with
Speaker 1: Key and Peel make you feel but I know it's
Speaker 1: not your should I just run them off, buddy, I'm
Speaker 1: real busy right now, I gotta meet you. Stop me, Yeah,
Speaker 1: run them out, just gonna follow you that. I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna walk with you. Oh you're gonna walk with me. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm just taking a look around. My main thing is
Speaker 1: is the drywall. I do construction. That's where Steve and
Speaker 1: I meant so I'm just checking me. Makes you feed
Speaker 1: on feed, just just change whatever. I mean. Everything here
Speaker 1: was really nice. I am tempted to go to Key
Speaker 1: and Peel's Jim just because you know that catchphrase is
Speaker 1: so like short sweet, it's exact, you know, and they're funny.
Speaker 1: They are funny. But is that the muscle you want
Speaker 1: to work or do you want to work your your biceps?
Speaker 1: We got a bicep machine here, blow your mind blow? Okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm in trade. You got a back machine,
Speaker 1: amazing chess machine. Oh my god, man, we found your
Speaker 1: husband dead. He was qrushed to death. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: What yes is he We think that he would have
Speaker 1: survived had his funny muscle had been more developed. But
Speaker 1: apparently he uh, he skipped that in with Mommy, what's
Speaker 1: happening is your dad's never coming home? My gosh, please screaming.
Speaker 1: I am a personal trainer for the police, ma'am. I
Speaker 1: believe I know how to do this. Kid, your dad's dead,
Speaker 1: cold dad. My name is Tommy. I don't know what's
Speaker 1: your name? Tommy won't matter much now, Tommy, you're going
Speaker 1: to be known as the kid with the dead dad
Speaker 1: when you go back to school Monday. Jesus Christ. I
Speaker 1: don't know, but I don't know how to stop it.
Speaker 1: Do you have any pie in it of any type?
Speaker 1: I'm hungry. I love the piece of pie. If you
Speaker 1: have anything. We have a lemon pie we always have,
Speaker 1: and there's a chocolate favorite my husband's favorite chocolate book. Well,
Speaker 1: he certainly won't be eating Carlin. Listen, you could go
Speaker 1: to many different funeral homes and you're not going to
Speaker 1: find exactly what you're gonna find here at Steven Phil's
Speaker 1: Funeral Services. If you come here, you feel good, all right,
Speaker 1: And so we wanted to show you this casket. This,
Speaker 1: this is your great This is a great casket. You
Speaker 1: can use this all right, This is silver, amazing, beautiful.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't need to hear you spiel and
Speaker 1: I don't mean to. This does not mean anything about
Speaker 1: my love and respect for my husband. Just give me
Speaker 1: the cheapest one, okay in the grounder. Hey, there's somebody
Speaker 1: in here. Oh sorry about that, that's my phone. We'll
Speaker 1: go to the next one. Hey, whe should go over
Speaker 1: to Stephen Phils for your cast get the first time around?
Speaker 1: Too expensive for you? What you know people people were
Speaker 1: squatting in there so I couldn't technically buy. Yah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: yeah they do that. That place is rife with draculas.
Speaker 1: Rife with Draculus really made the process if you tell
Speaker 1: how to place is rife with Dracula. Yeah, yeah, she
Speaker 1: you believe she went to Stephen Phils first. Yeah, that
Speaker 1: slogan we make you feel good, but it's spelled p
Speaker 1: h I l good. That's crazy. It's not even a
Speaker 1: full rhyme. It's I actually liked you, guys. Um poster
Speaker 1: Pete and Pete's Funeral home for Pete and Pete for
Speaker 1: one year six feet and then in parentheses under and
Speaker 1: I liked that was a sloth. It was very very clever. Well,
Speaker 1: two slaws, it takes two, but any cute inny cute?
Speaker 1: Oh no, no, no, you're thinking of a crucifix. We
Speaker 1: got a slow crucifix in the Champion. Yeah. Oh hey,
Speaker 1: come check out the chap We just got it redone.
Speaker 1: All of the apostles, all of the stuff in it
Speaker 1: looked the stations of the cross all slots. Ain't that something?
Speaker 1: Oh god, this is the slowest service I've ever been
Speaker 1: to take. This is taking forever, seemed to see. Three
Speaker 1: comes to us from patron v I. P. Jarrett, who wrote,
Speaker 1: finally getting to the front of the line, just to
Speaker 1: be told you're in the wrong line. Thank you next?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, thank you Jesus. Wow, that was twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: I will never get back right. Yeah, let me have
Speaker 1: the two scoops in a mug. Okay, if you wanted scoops,
Speaker 1: you we just do the cakes in this line, all right?
Speaker 1: Do you want an ice cream birthday cake? Yeah? Sure,
Speaker 1: what nobody wants an ice cream birthday cake? And you
Speaker 1: put them out and they're dead, and like nine minutes,
Speaker 1: why would you've been getting cakes from Steven Phils? Those
Speaker 1: cakes are alive? Our cakes are dead from the get go. Okay,
Speaker 1: so do I have to put this in the microwave?
Speaker 1: What's the story with the dead cake? Just a regular
Speaker 1: ice cream cakes? Yea? And so before I serve it,
Speaker 1: do I put it in the microwave? No, it's ice cream.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Maybe you should go to the instructional line. Yeah,
Speaker 1: let me get into another line again, because that was
Speaker 1: incredibly fun. How long you've been working here? Jack? Uh? Sir,
Speaker 1: it's Jack, and it's I've been here six years. Six years? Huh?
Speaker 1: Anyone else step up to the front of the line
Speaker 1: only to find out there on the wrong line. No,
Speaker 1: our customers are very happy most of the time. So
Speaker 1: what am I doing here? I don't know. I'll take
Speaker 1: the next customer because there. Yeah, yeah, I take the
Speaker 1: next customer. Yeah, sorry, buddy, excuse me, I'm gonna kind
Speaker 1: of rush. I need to pick up an ice cream cake.
Speaker 1: It's under lamar l a. Oh here it is right, Oh, beautiful,
Speaker 1: beautiful by twenty This is a sheet cake size ice cream. Lovely.
Speaker 1: Here you go here and actually use it as a
Speaker 1: sheet thank you? All right, And then we wrote on
Speaker 1: it just like you said. So make sure everything is spelled.
Speaker 1: Did you read that to me? I left my reading glasses.
Speaker 1: Happy birthday to the latest graduate from school loved death dad, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's that all right, thank you, and to a period
Speaker 1: on the end of that. I love that. Okay, Well
Speaker 1: it's a sign of that. Yeah, do you know my name? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're the latest graduated, right, graduating congratulation And honestly, I
Speaker 1: was surprised that you even came. I was going to
Speaker 1: give your ticket away too, Aunt Jack, who's not even
Speaker 1: my aunt, but you know, she's so close to me.
Speaker 1: What else, what's what's really? What's really? Is the problem
Speaker 1: really that I don't know your name? Problem? But is
Speaker 1: that really problem? Dad? And it's something that I've been
Speaker 1: working on in therapy as an assumption, and now that
Speaker 1: I know that it's a fact, I'm about to delve
Speaker 1: deep and I get and I do have to ask
Speaker 1: you just one last question, But is that really the problem?
Speaker 1: So when you say you've got confirmation that your father
Speaker 1: does not in fact know your name, but if I may,
Speaker 1: you've been claiming it certainly since you came here eleven
Speaker 1: years ago, and neither one of us. I don't think
Speaker 1: I ever thought you would get confirmation. So this suggests
Speaker 1: to me you had an actual confrontation with your father
Speaker 1: and how did that and did you want me to
Speaker 1: continue doing the squats while I tell you? Or can
Speaker 1: I seven? Okay, I'll just kid doing that. It was
Speaker 1: honestly very um eye opening, um to have a full
Speaker 1: conversation with him. If you wouldn't mind going all the
Speaker 1: way down. Okay, my knees are count I feel like
Speaker 1: sure if if I'm in a camp, okay, um, and
Speaker 1: thank you for your work that you've done for me.
Speaker 1: That's where my wife says my dad daven okay, Um.
Speaker 1: I actually no sign language, so I can count with
Speaker 1: my fingers and um, is this the line? Is this
Speaker 1: the line for squats in psychiatry? Or am I in
Speaker 1: the right line on the right line? I'm with my
Speaker 1: two o'clock. Okay, I'm too fifteen, So let me know
Speaker 1: when it's time I can go get a soda. Well,
Speaker 1: if it's going to be longer, bring your mug. All right.
Speaker 1: So your father and you had a confrontation, really a
Speaker 1: conversation for the first time, and I couldn't believe that
Speaker 1: he showed up and it felt so good, and I
Speaker 1: was at such a high for him even being there.
Speaker 1: I was. So you say, it's a conference conversation. Did
Speaker 1: you ask him if he knew your name? I did?
Speaker 1: I said it. Yeah, then I was correct using the
Speaker 1: word confrontation. But let's get back to the conversation confrontation
Speaker 1: that you have. Okay, um, to go from such a
Speaker 1: high just a second, I'm still writing the word correct
Speaker 1: next to my note. Okay, to go from such a
Speaker 1: high to such a lull, which was high? Was him
Speaker 1: being at my graduation. He's missed all of my previous graduations.
Speaker 1: He's missed my birthdays. He's missed all right, Get the
Speaker 1: lieutenant in here, sergeant, get the lieutenant in. Lieutenant. Just
Speaker 1: found this note at the gym. The handwriting matches the
Speaker 1: writing of the killer we've been looking for. It just
Speaker 1: says correct next to some other scribble scrabble. But I'm
Speaker 1: pretty sure we got the right guy. What we've been
Speaker 1: looking for him for years? Exactly? Which is he? Is
Speaker 1: he at Phil and Steves or is he at Pete
Speaker 1: and Pete's Sir. I was so busy, just so busy
Speaker 1: watching this girl's squad and give her life. I wasn't
Speaker 1: paying a much attention to which gym I was in.
Speaker 1: Uh you're telling me you found the killer that we've
Speaker 1: been looking for for years, sir, years, Yes, sir, And
Speaker 1: you don't remember where you were when you found him? No, no, sir,
Speaker 1: I don't remember, sir. But the important thing is huh
Speaker 1: I know, No, sir, I don't remember. You know what?
Speaker 1: Give me your badge, Give me your badge, Give me
Speaker 1: your badge, then, lieutenant, sergeant, what's going on here? What
Speaker 1: is it? Oh, deputy deputy, Yes, sir, that's right, Yes,
Speaker 1: their deputy, that's right. I I rank under all of you, Deputy,
Speaker 1: what I have alpha energy? Yes, yes, sir, deputy. Where
Speaker 1: I was just I was just dressing down this captain
Speaker 1: for his uh yes, sir, for I just came back
Speaker 1: from key and peetles all the eels gym. Oh wow, yeah,
Speaker 1: you look great. You look great, deputy. Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: never better. But but don't you worry. I was dressing
Speaker 1: him down, and I was taking his badge from him.
Speaker 1: I can give it to you. Would you like his badge? Sir? Well,
Speaker 1: that would make me a captain. When I'm clearly something
Speaker 1: about this finding this killer, then goll darn it, I'll
Speaker 1: just do it on my own. I'll do it on
Speaker 1: my own. On your own. You're going rogue captain, man
Speaker 1: of your low rank. Good luck. That's the last thing
Speaker 1: I ever heard my mother say. I'll accept that. Listen.
Speaker 1: I can't let you in the gym with that idea
Speaker 1: or a membership. You know, you have to have a
Speaker 1: membership to go in here. So if you're not a cop,
Speaker 1: I can't let you in. I'm I'm a full blown cop.
Speaker 1: I'm full blown. I'm full blow your badge the holy
Speaker 1: walka moley. He can I make a phone call? Do
Speaker 1: you want to use one of our phones? Um? I
Speaker 1: can't let you use the company phones, but you can
Speaker 1: use my cell phone. Just don't read any of the
Speaker 1: text messages. All right, there you go. Hello, Look at
Speaker 1: that guys standing right there in the street in front
Speaker 1: of at police station. Here's your first opportunity, kid, Sophie,
Speaker 1: get over here. Here's your first chance, your first shitting
Speaker 1: exam right there on that top. It's an easy target.
Speaker 1: Come on, it's an easy target target. It's about the
Speaker 1: fact that I don't have to shoot. I don't have
Speaker 1: to shoot. What do you mean you don't have it's
Speaker 1: shipping school. We always wait, you humans don't always have
Speaker 1: to ship. Always do it once a day, twice if
Speaker 1: it's special. But well, come on, no, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: Hold on, what's a special ship? You know it's twice
Speaker 1: a day. I know it's a special day because I'm
Speaker 1: feeling very good and I'm getting a little bit of
Speaker 1: extra stuff, and you know, out and in outcomes the
Speaker 1: poop and incomes the pride, especially when it's too happy. Beau.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, when you get a double and nothing is
Speaker 1: um soft, then you're very you're having a very good luck.
Speaker 1: Out comes the poop, Sophia, thank you for being a friend.
Speaker 1: You know what, you know what? I was once shipped
Speaker 1: on by a bird that didn't shoot on me with
Speaker 1: his butt, but ship on me with his words. And that,
Speaker 1: oh Danny sounds like, Yeah, he's an ash cock. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get that bird a piece of my fist. And
Speaker 1: he's the reason why our poop is white because he
Speaker 1: started eating a lot of ice cream. Well, do you
Speaker 1: know he tricked me once and he gave me two scoops,
Speaker 1: straight up poops. He gave me two pop scoops, told
Speaker 1: me it was vanilla. I said, it's vanilla. Cookies and crazy,
Speaker 1: and I said, I usually like a Choco little base,
Speaker 1: but I love Oreos. Incomes the pride to scoops poop. Anyway,
Speaker 1: that guy's moved on now, So today what a show?
Speaker 1: Oh my, Before any lawsuits are begun, I thought I
Speaker 1: would go ahead and bring it to a conclusion. Thank
Speaker 1: you also damn much for the scoops and the poops. Uh.
Speaker 1: This has been a special to poop day and uh,
Speaker 1: I think we all feel it. And along with the pride,
Speaker 1: let's start our thanking with In fact, Jackie Gonzalaz to Ruthie, Jackie,
Speaker 1: I wish you every day should be a two poop
Speaker 1: special day. Uh. And then yeah, I wish that for you.
Speaker 1: Although I often enjoy the efficiency of one. I don't
Speaker 1: you know, I don't need to spend my life in there. No,
Speaker 1: I don't need it. Thank you, Thank you for the
Speaker 1: well wishes. Though it may everyone be regular and feel good. Um.
Speaker 1: I am at Jackie t Ruthie on Instagram, and I
Speaker 1: am going to listen to say that my account is
Speaker 1: not a dance account yet right yet. But the further
Speaker 1: that heat progressed, the closer we're getting to a full
Speaker 1: on dance account. This is just a spoiler at tease
Speaker 1: for when we advance. Um, things are gonna pop off
Speaker 1: on my Instagram. I'm excited about all this legally. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you for having me. Sure of course,
Speaker 1: thank you as always to Gary Anthony Williams. I don't
Speaker 1: know what Jackie was talking about, but I agree is
Speaker 1: that close to dance account? Hey? You know people always
Speaker 1: like Gary, where can you get? Where can I see
Speaker 1: you on the socials? Yes, it's simple. It's my name,
Speaker 1: Gary Anthony Williams. That's on the Instagram, Gary A. Williams.
Speaker 1: I'm never on Twitter. It just seems like everyone's jelling
Speaker 1: at each other. Yeah, not on Instagram that it's nothing
Speaker 1: but love and dancing. Not that Jackie dearry, Not that
Speaker 1: Jackie's account is about dancing, not yet yet. Thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you, Mark Gagliardi, thank you, thank you. This is
Speaker 1: a delight. Uh and thank all of you. This was
Speaker 1: so fun. You guys don't make me laugh. We got
Speaker 1: this with Mark and Hall on the Maximum Fun Network.
Speaker 1: Blood and Treasure drops July seventeen, season two. Uh and
Speaker 1: thanks for having me, thanks for adjusting the my and
Speaker 1: my account is nothing and there's no dancing on any
Speaker 1: of my social media accounts regardless of what happens in
Speaker 1: the NBA playoffs. Um than thank you for adjusting the
Speaker 1: blinds behind you so we sure see your faith. Well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a report tour would be completely a perfect until
Speaker 1: saying thank you so much for I mean, it's always
Speaker 1: so much fun. Everyone here is so talented. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: you can follow me on my socials on a tool
Speaker 1: time and uh we we're pulling for the MAVs. Um
Speaker 1: and maybe I'll dance, maybe I'll dance. Wow, good luck?
Speaker 1: Uh two Stephen my warriors. That is all I can say. Um. Lastly,
Speaker 1: but certainly not lastly, it's Craig Katkowski Ko damn it.
Speaker 1: Thank you man. I feel like if I had gone
Speaker 1: to shipping school, like it would put me in my
Speaker 1: head so bad, like paralysis through analysis. You know, there's
Speaker 1: some things that you just got to learn the natural way,
Speaker 1: and then the more you learn different theories and stuff
Speaker 1: like that, then you just you know, you think too much.
Speaker 1: Uh well, learn it on God intended. Thank you so
Speaker 1: damn much for that. Will you and Carlin be watching
Speaker 1: any films and talking about them in podcast form anytime?
Speaker 1: Soon unlikely. Solid man, that's exciting as hell. Let's thank
Speaker 1: your engineering producers, the stars, folks that I hurt. Media,
Speaker 1: I'm ho's Kevin Pollock. Thank you each and every damn
Speaker 1: one of you for joining us, and continue to tell
Speaker 1: everyone you've ever met him. Please write a review so
Speaker 1: James Heene has something to do when he's done uh
Speaker 1: today lendsing this motion picture. He keeps telling us he's
Speaker 1: a part of um and yeah, we appreciate you. Please
Speaker 1: be kind to each other until next time, remember to
Speaker 1: gubbing