WEBVTT - It’s Time We Talk 0:00:07.880 --> 0:00:11.480 Hello everybody, and welcome to the most dramatic podcast ever. 0:00:12.080 --> 0:00:20.680 I'm your host, Chris Harrison. I am really excited to 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:24.240 be here today, I say with a lot of trepidation 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:29.600 and nerves. Um, this is a very interesting endeavor. And 0:00:29.680 --> 0:00:34.280 first I just want to say I am unbelievably excited 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.360 to have this partnership with my heart, to be doing 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:40.120 this entire podcast network that's going to be about relationships. 0:00:40.159 --> 0:00:42.479 This show is going to be the tent pole of 0:00:42.560 --> 0:00:45.720 that that I'm hosting, and as we move forward, this 0:00:45.760 --> 0:00:51.320 show is going to transform and move into many different things. Um. 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:58.720 But if this is really going to be about relationships, UM, 0:00:58.760 --> 0:01:01.920 the most important comp owner to that is communication. And 0:01:01.920 --> 0:01:03.800 if I'm gonna ask you guys to believe in me 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:09.080 and to open your heart and bear your soul, then 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:10.920 I think I need to be willing to do the same. 0:01:11.720 --> 0:01:14.240 And so I'm gonna go first. I'm gonna take that 0:01:14.280 --> 0:01:17.600 first step. We have not talked in a long time, 0:01:19.000 --> 0:01:22.520 and I think it's time we finally have that chat. 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:28.800 And I'm sorry it's taken so long. I guess I 0:01:28.800 --> 0:01:30.440 could say I wish I had done this sooner, but 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:34.080 I'm not sure it would have mattered. Um, I I 0:01:34.160 --> 0:01:37.960 have gotten the question of when are you going to 0:01:38.040 --> 0:01:42.560 come back, what are you gonna do? And why am 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:47.120 I doing this podcast? The reason I'm doing this first, 0:01:47.800 --> 0:01:50.360 there are other exciting professional things that are going to 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:52.200 happen this year that I'm excited to talk to you 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:54.400 guys about, and I'm excited for you to see. But 0:01:55.320 --> 0:02:01.720 I felt like I owed you this, you deserve this, 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:05.760 and I needed this. I need to have this talk. 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:09.720 I have not spoken publicly since I left the Bachelor franchise. 0:02:10.919 --> 0:02:14.320 I have not made one comment, which might be hard 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:17.760 to believe considering how much was said and written, talked 0:02:17.800 --> 0:02:22.840 about podcasted if that's actually a word um about me, 0:02:23.680 --> 0:02:26.920 But very little of it. Actually, none of it came 0:02:27.000 --> 0:02:30.840 from me. It was everybody else talking. And one thing 0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:34.400 I learned while I was going through this whole ordeal, 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:40.519 when there is so much noise, me talking was just 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.520 going to be more noise. It would have been like 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:45.480 trying to have a conversation in the middle of a 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:49.200 crowded stadium. It just wouldn't have mattered. You wouldn't have 0:02:49.240 --> 0:02:56.400 heard it. And selfishly, I think I needed time. I 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:58.520 need time to figure out what I want to say 0:02:58.639 --> 0:03:02.360 how I felt, you know, to go back to the 0:03:03.200 --> 0:03:09.240 infamous interview, one point that I was trying to make 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:14.959 and did not make eloquently was people need time to think. 0:03:16.080 --> 0:03:21.880 You need time to process. We must have grace and 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:27.440 patience for people to think and process, or else you're 0:03:27.480 --> 0:03:33.640 just getting this kind of nonsensical, reactive emotion from people. 0:03:33.680 --> 0:03:36.320 And so I wanted to step away. I wanted to 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:40.120 think and and learn and change and and go through 0:03:40.600 --> 0:03:45.880 everything I went through personally before I had this talk um. 0:03:45.880 --> 0:03:48.960 And I have let everybody else speak, and I have 0:03:49.080 --> 0:03:52.800 sat back and listen to everybody speaking. Look, I am 0:03:52.880 --> 0:03:56.320 sure there are a lot of people, well a few 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:59.800 people that are sitting in Hollywood right now, nervous as 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:03.000 all that I am doing a podcast. And I guess 0:04:03.000 --> 0:04:05.920 I would say to those people, if you're nervous, maybe 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:12.080 you should be because you probably know that I know. 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:22.080 I guess the thing I would start with is the 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:26.159 reason I'm doing this is you. I've missed you, guys, 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:33.080 I've heard you. I appreciate when my beautiful fiance Lauren 0:04:33.160 --> 0:04:35.279 Zim and I are traveling around the world and we're 0:04:35.279 --> 0:04:38.720 in airports, bars, restaurants, whatever, and you guys come up 0:04:38.760 --> 0:04:43.400 to us, and you have been so kind and so 0:04:43.520 --> 0:04:46.800 loving that you miss us, you miss me, you missed 0:04:46.839 --> 0:04:51.279 my voice. You, Um, I wish I would come back 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:53.600 or you want me back. And you know, people say, oh, 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:56.640 I don't watch the show anymore, I miss you, and 0:04:57.000 --> 0:04:59.839 I hear it all and I very very much appreciate 0:04:59.839 --> 0:05:03.400 it on the bottom of my heart, and um it 0:05:03.480 --> 0:05:05.960 kind of makes me me laugh because people will inevitably 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:09.800 come up and apologize and they say, I'm so sorry, 0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.520 but I just want to say I miss you, and 0:05:12.520 --> 0:05:16.039 I'm like, please, don't apologize. Thank you for your words. 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:19.760 They truly has kept me going. And you guys are 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:23.560 as much of my my life blood is anything else. 0:05:23.600 --> 0:05:28.480 I've really our relationship was important to me. I cultivated 0:05:28.480 --> 0:05:32.880 and worked on that relationship with the viewers. You from 0:05:33.000 --> 0:05:35.359 day one when I was hosting the Bachelorm Bachelotte and 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.240 I tried to earn your trust, I tried to earn 0:05:38.320 --> 0:05:43.320 your love, and I tried to give you everything I 0:05:43.400 --> 0:05:48.719 had honestly, and yeah, look, the show was entertainment and 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:50.839 there were times when you know, I would be vague 0:05:50.920 --> 0:05:53.120 or try to kind of put you off so you 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:55.640 wouldn't know how the show went, but at the end 0:05:55.640 --> 0:05:57.359 of the day, I tried to be really honest with 0:05:57.400 --> 0:06:01.240 everybody on the show and you, and so you're the 0:06:01.279 --> 0:06:03.560 reason I wanted to sit down and have this conversation. 0:06:04.240 --> 0:06:10.560 And if I had a regret, it would be that 0:06:10.640 --> 0:06:16.440 I didn't do this, that I didn't just come to 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:21.400 you in the first place. And I have to give 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:25.880 myself some grace because when I went through this ordeal 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:35.799 after the interview and and everything subsequently kind of melted down. Um, 0:06:36.000 --> 0:06:38.640 there was there's there was no template for for this. 0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:42.000 There was no playbook. The playbook had been thrown out 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:44.960 the window. And I'll talk a little bit more about 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:51.279 that and cancel culture in a minute, but they're the 0:06:51.440 --> 0:06:56.760 toughest thing for me was where to turn, what to do, 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:03.800 And I probably should have led with this, but I 0:07:03.920 --> 0:07:09.159 was heartbroken. I was gutted, I was embarrassed. I was 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:13.440 mad at myself. I was disappointed in myself. The last 0:07:13.440 --> 0:07:17.280 thing in the world I ever wanted to do was 0:07:18.600 --> 0:07:23.800 be an agent of anything negative, whether it had to 0:07:23.800 --> 0:07:29.600 do with race or or anything. The fact that I 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.840 was involved in this, and that I had a big 0:07:31.920 --> 0:07:35.600 part in this, and I do own that there were 0:07:35.600 --> 0:07:38.080 many things out of my control, and things definitely spun 0:07:38.120 --> 0:07:41.000 out of control for for a number of reasons, but 0:07:41.280 --> 0:07:45.240 for my part in this. I was sick, sick to 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:54.400 my stomach, and I lost twenty pounds. I didn't sleep, 0:07:55.640 --> 0:08:00.840 I didn't eat. I was scared to death of none 0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:09.320 of my job, but of my family, UM, my fiancee, 0:08:09.680 --> 0:08:12.560 who God bless Lorenzima for being there every step of 0:08:12.600 --> 0:08:14.320 the way. She is the only other human being that 0:08:14.440 --> 0:08:18.880 was there seven But you know, I worried about my kids. 0:08:19.240 --> 0:08:21.960 I worried about my family, my mom, my dad, my brother, 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:27.320 all my loved ones, my friends. You know, I'm um 0:08:27.320 --> 0:08:30.200 a bit of an impath, and I I'm very loyal 0:08:31.680 --> 0:08:36.520 to a fault um, but I'm a team player. And 0:08:36.559 --> 0:08:43.520 so when this happened immediately after the interview, and I 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.400 don't want this to come in the wrong way, but really, 0:08:46.679 --> 0:08:48.680 while I was sick to my stomach, and I felt 0:08:48.800 --> 0:08:53.120 so disappointed that that the interview went that way, and 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:58.480 it was on me because I controlled what I had 0:08:58.520 --> 0:09:00.760 to say. And while some of the of things, while 0:09:01.880 --> 0:09:07.640 the point I was trying to get across, I stand 0:09:07.679 --> 0:09:11.840 by the way I did it. It was messy, It 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:17.560 was disappointing and it's just not me um. So out 0:09:17.559 --> 0:09:22.160 of that interview, I really wasn't too worried about my 0:09:22.280 --> 0:09:26.280 job or the show or anything else. And look, everybody 0:09:26.320 --> 0:09:30.600 did agree. It was not good and it was a messy, 0:09:30.840 --> 0:09:34.079 really bad conversation, and I wasn't my normal eloquent self. 0:09:34.400 --> 0:09:38.240 I didn't express myself like I normally do. I think 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:43.800 that part we all agree on. But as far as 0:09:46.000 --> 0:09:49.640 my standing in the community and the show, it really 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:53.680 didn't register on the Richter scale. There was much more 0:09:53.679 --> 0:09:55.880 egregious things going on in the world and things that 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.480 had happened, and so people didn't really think it was 0:09:58.520 --> 0:10:03.320 going to amount too much, and it would if I apologized, 0:10:04.760 --> 0:10:09.319 we would be able to move forward. I had someone, 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:13.680 a very prominent person, to say to me, you know 0:10:13.720 --> 0:10:20.320 the mistake you made, Chris, you apologized, and I understood 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.360 what that person was trying to say, but I said, 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:30.079 I I disagree with you. My apology was warranted because 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:35.679 I did misstep and I made a mistake, and I 0:10:35.720 --> 0:10:38.040 am a firm believer. I've raised my kids like this. 0:10:38.280 --> 0:10:40.360 I was raised like this. When you make a mistake, 0:10:40.960 --> 0:10:45.880 you face who you wronged, and you apologize and you 0:10:45.920 --> 0:10:50.360 make it right. And as soon as this happened, I 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.840 just wanted to wrap my arms around all of you, 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:56.920 everyone who's ever been on the show and just say 0:10:56.920 --> 0:11:00.200 I'm sorry, Like my god, if I hurt you, I 0:11:00.240 --> 0:11:03.880 am so sorry. There is nothing in me, there is 0:11:03.960 --> 0:11:07.840 nothing in my soul that would ever want to harm anybody, 0:11:07.920 --> 0:11:15.120 make you feel less than, not seen, belittled in any way, marginalized. 0:11:15.280 --> 0:11:19.240 That's just not me. I love. I always lead with love. 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.280 What you've seen on the show for nineteen years, I 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:25.040 think you guys know that. And it was really interesting 0:11:25.080 --> 0:11:28.000 because I also have been raised and I've you know, 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:32.240 beat this into my kids. You live a certain way, 0:11:33.360 --> 0:11:37.120 you treat people a certain way, and you build this foundation. 0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.760 So when things do go awry and you have a 0:11:40.800 --> 0:11:44.319 sloppy conversation like I did, and you make a mistake, 0:11:45.800 --> 0:11:49.600 that foundation is what people know you for. And it 0:11:49.679 --> 0:11:54.880 was really interesting because that wasn't the case here the 0:11:55.280 --> 0:11:58.960 the world. It was stranger things. The world was upside down, 0:12:00.320 --> 0:12:06.520 and I attribute that to a lot of things. I 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.720 think the timing of this is very relevant of where 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:14.319 we were in the world. Um, we were all coming 0:12:14.360 --> 0:12:16.920 out of two years of being locked up, and I 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:21.160 think we're all angry and frustrated and um and then 0:12:21.840 --> 0:12:27.160 culturally what was going on in the world with civil rights, 0:12:27.400 --> 0:12:35.120 and there was a lot of confusion, anger, resentment. It 0:12:35.200 --> 0:12:38.080 was there was a lot. It was a very combustible 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:44.400 moment in time, and my timing of being sloppy and 0:12:44.440 --> 0:12:48.839 appropriate wrong in that moment was that's on me to 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:52.600 have not seen that. You know, I was just as 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:56.400 frustrated and blind and piste off as everybody else in 0:12:56.440 --> 0:12:58.360 the world coming out of what we'd come out of. 0:12:58.920 --> 0:13:03.400 But that's not to say that was okay. But the 0:13:03.520 --> 0:13:05.800 timing of this I think was very relevant. And so 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:14.840 when I apologized, I felt like I needed that and 0:13:14.920 --> 0:13:17.000 it was owed and I was fine with it. I'm 0:13:17.040 --> 0:13:19.520 telling you, I had no problem putting out that first apology, 0:13:19.559 --> 0:13:22.199 which I was a written apology I put out on 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:29.200 on Instagram, and but there was just so much noise 0:13:29.240 --> 0:13:34.680 at the time. It just didn't matter. Apologies didn't matter. 0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.520 And I've never seen a time like that, and in 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:45.000 my life, I've never known that not to work to 0:13:45.120 --> 0:13:48.200 be you know, if you if you sincerely apologize and 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:54.040 open your heart, and it was just like yelling in 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.839 a you know, in a cave. It just didn't matter. No, 0:13:57.320 --> 0:14:03.160 it just wasn't It didn't move anything, and it didn't 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:06.840 move us away from what had just happened. And so 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:10.559 even after that apology, we were still at ground zero, 0:14:13.760 --> 0:14:18.200 and it was confusing and it was scary. I'm sitting 0:14:18.240 --> 0:14:20.160 here now and it's like my heart is racing and 0:14:20.240 --> 0:14:23.440 I don't I don't get nervous about things. I don't 0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:26.880 get nervous to speak, but I have a lot of trepidation. 0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:28.880 And I don't even know if this is the you know, 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:32.520 doing this podcast is the right thing to do. It 0:14:32.600 --> 0:14:36.720 may not be. Um, we'll see how all of you 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:41.360 take it. I thought long and hard about doing this podcast. 0:14:41.400 --> 0:14:44.160 People had talked to me about doing this, even my heart, 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.800 for quite some time, and I said, no, no, no, 0:14:47.880 --> 0:14:52.200 I don't want. First of all, I'll be honest, there's 0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:56.720 a load of podcasts out there, and between you and I, 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:58.920 too many, and so I might do I want to 0:14:58.960 --> 0:15:00.760 be one of those? Do? I just want to be 0:15:00.760 --> 0:15:05.520 another voice out there? But then I came to well 0:15:05.560 --> 0:15:08.480 talking with a very dear friend of mine who's sitting 0:15:08.520 --> 0:15:13.840 in this room right now, and she was right, is 0:15:13.880 --> 0:15:15.920 that it's it's time to talk, and this is the 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:18.760 best way to do it. And I get back to 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:21.600 that regret of this is what I should have done 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:28.520 from day one. I should have just come to you, unedited, unfiltered, 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:34.280 and just talked and told you how sorry I am, 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:43.240 how heartbroken I am. I worked really hard on that 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:48.880 show for nineteen years. Did I have say in in 0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:52.120 the decisions that were made around there? I did not. 0:15:53.120 --> 0:15:55.080 I never, once in the nineteen years I was there, 0:15:55.160 --> 0:16:00.600 hired or fired anybody. I never edited the show, meaning 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:03.640 I didn't decide what your storyline was. I didn't decide 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:08.960 who was on camera, what you were saying, none of that. 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:12.360 I didn't cast the show. But I can't absolve myself 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:14.480 because you can't show up every day and make a 0:16:14.480 --> 0:16:17.920 big paycheck and just say I'm not a part of that. 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:23.120 That's not fair. You either are you aren't now, I 0:16:23.160 --> 0:16:27.440 would like to think I was a part of a 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:33.800 group of very talented, incredible people that I still care for, 0:16:35.120 --> 0:16:39.280 that try to be an agent of change. And we did. 0:16:39.360 --> 0:16:44.800 We tried. We were working very hard too shift and 0:16:44.920 --> 0:16:47.960 change and be better. I would like to think i'm 0:16:48.040 --> 0:16:52.520 I was a part of that, and one of my 0:16:52.560 --> 0:16:55.840 great disappointments and myself out of all this, is that 0:16:57.680 --> 0:17:00.480 because of what I was a part of in that interview, 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:07.920 I rolled a grenade under all that and I made 0:17:07.920 --> 0:17:12.359 things worse. And for me, who cares so deeply and 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:16.600 passionately about the show, about the people on it, about 0:17:16.600 --> 0:17:19.879 the people I've been with, about you, the people that 0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.000 watch it, I felt like I let you down because 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:29.960 I shined a big bright light on more than what 0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:32.600 needed to be I should that was. That was on me, 0:17:33.640 --> 0:17:37.800 and to have brought that on my house is uh. 0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.720 It was shameful and it just crushed me to the 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:44.359 bottom of my soul. I was just sick to my 0:17:44.440 --> 0:17:48.280 stomach and I wanted to scream from the rooftop. I 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:52.439 wanted to just scream to you, please forgive me. I 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:56.879 am so sorry, my god, I would never ever ever 0:17:57.080 --> 0:18:00.720 want to hurt you in this way. I don't leaven 0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:04.119 the things that are being said about me. That's not 0:18:04.240 --> 0:18:07.399 in me at all. Let me fix this, Let me 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.880 have a conversation. And you guys know me clearly. I'm 0:18:10.880 --> 0:18:14.679 sitting here. I'm good to talk. I love people, and 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:18.360 I still have this policy of like, if you want 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:19.840 to come have a debate with me. If you want 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:21.960 to talk, bring an open heart and an open mind 0:18:22.000 --> 0:18:24.719 and open ears, and man, I will discuss anything with you. 0:18:25.680 --> 0:18:30.880 And I just I wanted that so badly, but it 0:18:30.920 --> 0:18:35.679 wasn't that I wasn't allowed, but I wasn't counseled to 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:38.000 do that. I don't know if any of you watch 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:42.600 the Harry and Megan thing, you know last year, the documentary, 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:46.560 and it was funny because some of that I very much. 0:18:46.680 --> 0:18:50.239 Lauren and I um watched that together and we were 0:18:50.280 --> 0:18:52.440 talking about it, as we often do when we watch things, 0:18:52.440 --> 0:18:54.960 we discuss it at length, being the journalist we are, 0:18:55.960 --> 0:19:00.200 and we really empathized with some of the things as 0:19:00.200 --> 0:19:02.439 they were saying. And one of it was when things 0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:10.160 go sideways, don't speak, because that is what everybody wants. 0:19:10.160 --> 0:19:15.640 And when I say everybody, the tabloids, the clickbait. Oddly, sadly, 0:19:16.160 --> 0:19:18.680 it's a weird thing when I when I counsel bachelors 0:19:18.680 --> 0:19:20.720 and bacherettes when they're going through things, and they often 0:19:20.720 --> 0:19:22.320 call me on the side and say, how what should 0:19:22.320 --> 0:19:27.399 I do? I said, honestly, shut up, don't speak, And 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:30.440 it is so contrary to everything that you are brought 0:19:30.520 --> 0:19:34.760 up to believe, especially me, I'm I'm a Southern guy, proud, 0:19:35.280 --> 0:19:40.080 I'm I'm taught to stand up, look you in the eye, 0:19:40.320 --> 0:19:44.520 and speak and and own it. Well, kind of back 0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:47.320 to the Harry Megan thing. You know what the royal family, 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:50.879 of the royal press folks were like, don't speak, don't 0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:54.080 give them anything, because they will take anything you do 0:19:54.280 --> 0:19:56.280 say and it will be held against you in the 0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:58.760 court of public opinion. It will be the next clickbait headline. 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:04.120 Even if you say a you know, oh, I so 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:08.159 going back to uh when I was going through my divorce, 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:09.960 which was very public back in the day, and I 0:20:09.960 --> 0:20:14.000 remember I um the tabloids. I went to Dancing with 0:20:14.040 --> 0:20:16.960 the Stars and it was Emily Maynard season. I used 0:20:17.000 --> 0:20:19.760 to go there with the Bachelor Bachelorette and I just 0:20:19.760 --> 0:20:21.800 got a divorced. I was sitting there with Emily and 0:20:21.800 --> 0:20:23.840 and a week later I got a call from a 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:27.280 producer at dancing and they said, oh, we got a 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:30.120 call from several tabloids that said Chris Harrison was there, 0:20:30.600 --> 0:20:32.919 because now you know, I just got divorced and single, 0:20:33.000 --> 0:20:34.920 and they're like, you know, was he with anybody? Did 0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:38.320 he do anything and this this person was smart enough, 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:42.800 because what if this person had said, no, Chris is great, 0:20:43.119 --> 0:20:45.199 you know I I he he went up and and 0:20:45.280 --> 0:20:47.760 gave Julian Huff a hug and said hello, and it's 0:20:47.760 --> 0:20:52.080 like boom, that's the headline. Chris Harrison hugs Julian Huff 0:20:52.119 --> 0:20:54.000 for whatever, you know, and like there, there you go. 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.680 There's your clickbait. So the toughest thing in the world 0:20:56.960 --> 0:20:59.000 is that you want to scream, you want to yell, 0:20:59.080 --> 0:21:04.840 you want to fight, but you learn not to. You 0:21:04.920 --> 0:21:08.840 learn just to sit there and take it. And that sucks. 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:14.719 And in this situation, it really sucked because people are 0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:19.920 talking about you and you're being used. And that was 0:21:19.960 --> 0:21:25.120 the craziest thing about this is that once this happened, 0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:31.679 it's I guess the best analogy is if you were 0:21:31.720 --> 0:21:34.520 in a tsunami, or or if you're a surfer, if 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:36.720 you've ever been surfing, you're in it's a huge wave 0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:41.560 and this massive wave, you don't make it over the top, 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:43.840 and so you get thrown down to the bottom of 0:21:43.880 --> 0:21:46.080 the ocean and you're in it's like you're in a 0:21:46.160 --> 0:21:49.240 washing machine. You're getting thrown around, but it's over right, 0:21:49.280 --> 0:21:51.040 and about five d eight seconds. If you hold your 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:53.440 breath and you keep your head about you, you float 0:21:53.480 --> 0:21:57.480 to the top and it's over and you when you 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:03.560 come up, it's actually really serene, it's really placid, it's calm. 0:22:03.560 --> 0:22:09.000 But that wave is rolling on and it's destroying more 0:22:09.480 --> 0:22:14.280 and it's loud. And that's how I felt, because when 0:22:14.280 --> 0:22:17.040 I got hit by this wave and I was being 0:22:17.040 --> 0:22:23.160 thrown around, the decision was made, Okay, apologize, which I did, 0:22:24.960 --> 0:22:28.440 and then don't speak, and that's what I was counseled, 0:22:28.960 --> 0:22:33.679 and I tentatively agreed, Okay, this this two shall pass. 0:22:34.640 --> 0:22:37.439 We've been through things somewhat like this before, but this 0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:42.920 two shill pass not a big deal. But that noise 0:22:44.000 --> 0:22:49.600 in this moment in time didn't stop. And that's where 0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:51.480 the playbook was thrown out the window. And that's what 0:22:51.600 --> 0:22:55.080 none of us were prepared for. And that's what I 0:22:55.119 --> 0:23:01.840 wasn't prepared for, because all of a sudden, this moment 0:23:03.040 --> 0:23:12.359 and my name became synonymous with this political lightning in 0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:15.960 a bottom moment, and all of a sudden, someone on 0:23:16.040 --> 0:23:22.440 CNN is talking about me for purposes of the left, 0:23:23.880 --> 0:23:27.240 and then Ben Shapiro and whoever on Fox is talking 0:23:27.240 --> 0:23:31.639 about me about you know, conservative or whatever, and this 0:23:31.680 --> 0:23:33.720 is what's wrong in the world. And so I was 0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:37.120 being used by the right, and so the left wing, 0:23:37.200 --> 0:23:41.159 the right wing, the middle wing, everybody was talking about 0:23:41.359 --> 0:23:46.480 me in this moment, and I wasn't speaking. Some people 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:50.680 were cursing me, some people were yelling, people were angry. 0:23:51.240 --> 0:23:54.399 And I hadn't said anything other than the interview. I 0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:59.080 had not spoken, and I I thought this will go away, 0:23:59.119 --> 0:24:04.239 this will pass us. And every day I woke up 0:24:05.640 --> 0:24:16.119 and there was something new. Lauren and I had a 0:24:16.359 --> 0:24:20.920 very difficult time getting through this together. It was brutal 0:24:22.320 --> 0:24:24.800 because this happened to her as much as it happened 0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:30.840 to me. And I'll bring Lauren on and we'll sit 0:24:30.880 --> 0:24:36.320 down and talk because her perspective. I'm actually interested to 0:24:36.320 --> 0:24:38.200 know too, Because now that we've had time, we really 0:24:38.200 --> 0:24:44.320 don't talk about this this deeply anymore because it consumes 0:24:44.359 --> 0:24:47.560 so much of our lives. It impacted us so much. 0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:50.639 In the end, it brought us together more and made 0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:56.320 me love her more. She is unbelievably brilliant, wise, loving, caring. 0:24:56.800 --> 0:24:58.399 It made me see a side of her that I 0:24:58.520 --> 0:25:05.760 knew I loved even more. But it was a gut 0:25:05.800 --> 0:25:10.360 punch to her as much as it was to me. 0:25:11.000 --> 0:25:12.800 And that was the thing for me, is it made 0:25:12.800 --> 0:25:15.159 me sick to my stomach that I was hurting the 0:25:15.200 --> 0:25:17.399 woman I love. She had you know, she was an 0:25:17.480 --> 0:25:20.280 entertainment tonight at the time, and people were wanting her 0:25:20.320 --> 0:25:24.040 to answer to it. And you know, again, it was 0:25:24.080 --> 0:25:27.159 difficult because anything she did would be held against her 0:25:27.200 --> 0:25:30.920 too good or bad. If she didn't speak. Your silence 0:25:31.000 --> 0:25:34.440 is deafening. If you speak, you're screwed. So you're you're 0:25:34.480 --> 0:25:37.320 damned if you do, You're damned if you don't. But 0:25:37.440 --> 0:25:39.720 the playbook was really thrown out the window at that moment, 0:25:39.760 --> 0:25:49.520 and it was being used by everybody politically, talk shows, podcasts, 0:25:50.119 --> 0:25:58.560 cast members. Um, you know, look in this business heavy 0:25:58.600 --> 0:26:01.399 as the head who wears the round. I've been on 0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:05.200 the top of this thing for nineteen years. I know 0:26:05.560 --> 0:26:08.320 people coveted my job. I know people wanted my job. 0:26:08.359 --> 0:26:11.280 They'd be crazy not too is a great gig, or 0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:17.399 so it appeared from the outside looking in. But it 0:26:17.440 --> 0:26:23.600 was a lesson I learned, honestly. Season three four, I 0:26:23.640 --> 0:26:26.399 was sitting at a party and um, I won't out 0:26:27.320 --> 0:26:29.919 the bachelorette, but one of the Bachelretts walked in and 0:26:29.960 --> 0:26:31.880 I was sitting there on the couch and she sat 0:26:31.920 --> 0:26:33.040 next to me, and she was talking to one of 0:26:33.080 --> 0:26:36.879 the director at the time and said, you know, I should, 0:26:37.040 --> 0:26:41.119 I should come back and host the next Batchelorette. And 0:26:41.160 --> 0:26:43.159 I was sitting there and I said, you know, I'm 0:26:43.280 --> 0:26:45.560 right here. She said, no, no no, no, no, I would 0:26:45.560 --> 0:26:48.240 just you know, I would just host the back serette. Yeah. No, 0:26:48.320 --> 0:26:51.280 that's that's that's my job. That's what I do too. 0:26:52.040 --> 0:26:54.320 I do both those shows, and that's how I pay 0:26:54.400 --> 0:26:57.440 my mortgage. That's that's my job. And it was funny 0:26:57.440 --> 0:27:01.040 because she didn't even see it as a job, or 0:27:01.080 --> 0:27:03.560 the fact that she was asking for my job and 0:27:03.640 --> 0:27:06.200 asking me to be unemployed in front of me. And 0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:12.240 every year I laughingly would always say, I am creating 0:27:12.880 --> 0:27:15.480 to thirty people who want to host my show, it's 0:27:15.480 --> 0:27:18.240 a really and it's unlike any other show. You know, 0:27:18.520 --> 0:27:21.280 they you don't run into this on Survivor and and 0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:24.720 and Dancing with the Stars and American Idol or Amazing Race. 0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:28.679 You know, maybe they want to be influencers, maybe they 0:27:28.720 --> 0:27:31.040 want to be but our show is very particular in 0:27:31.040 --> 0:27:34.639 that way about creating influencers and creating people who go 0:27:34.760 --> 0:27:36.479 on to want to do TV, and I mean so 0:27:36.520 --> 0:27:38.399 many of them end up moving to l A and 0:27:38.480 --> 0:27:42.160