1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,320 Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: The Black Effect. And just like that, y'all, we are 3 00:00:18,040 --> 00:00:20,640 Speaker 1: back with yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl, 4 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:21,279 Speaker 1: Jess Hilarious. 5 00:00:21,280 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 2: So listen. What I do is I be. 6 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,720 Speaker 1: Fixing people's mess, y'all, and y'all know I love it. 7 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,360 Speaker 1: I have a different intro every single time. Tell me 8 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,080 Speaker 1: if y'all think I should get an intro for Just 9 00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 1: Fix My Mess, because I have one on Breakfast Club 10 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,280 Speaker 1: for Jess with the Mess. I got one on Breakfast 11 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,560 Speaker 1: Club for Just with the Mess. I don't have an 12 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 1: intro for Just Fix My Mess for my podcast for 13 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:42,880 Speaker 1: Carefully Reckless under the Black Effect. You know what I'm saying. 14 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,960 Speaker 1: So I made it. You know that's something that I 15 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: should voice. Y'all should go spam Charlemagne's comments the Black 16 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 1: Effect and iHeart and Breakfast Club fucking throw them in 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: there too. 18 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:54,520 Speaker 2: Spam. 19 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: Ess Hilarious needs her own intro for Jess Fix My 20 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,680 Speaker 1: Mess on her podcast that we listen to. We tune 21 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,040 Speaker 1: into each and every Wednesday, and so we can't have 22 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 1: her fixing people's mess if she's not gonna intro it, right, 23 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:10,120 Speaker 1: So I need an intro. So we're going definitely we 24 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,880 Speaker 1: are what was this called boycotton, We are boycotting and 25 00:01:12,959 --> 00:01:14,400 Speaker 1: rioting for justice intro. 26 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 2: All right, that's what we're gonna do, all right, but 27 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,280 Speaker 2: we're gonna jump right into it now. 28 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: We don't have voice memos this episode because people don't 29 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: want their voices to be known. 30 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,040 Speaker 2: And that was explained and I do understand you, mate, 31 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,120 Speaker 2: Go and know your voice. 32 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:29,120 Speaker 1: You calling in about your boyfriend, that nigga, if you 33 00:01:29,200 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 1: listened to carefully reckless, he's going to know it's you. 34 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:35,040 Speaker 2: So please tread lightly, y'all. Tread lightly, y'all. 35 00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,039 Speaker 1: I'll be reading. This is from a woman. Hey, Jess, 36 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,200 Speaker 1: I need help. So I've been with my fiance for 37 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:44,640 Speaker 1: a year and a half and it's been pure hell down. 38 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 1: When we first got together, I was in a good 39 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 1: place mentally, emotionally, financially, et cetera. 40 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,280 Speaker 2: Okay, so you was good all the way around. 41 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,320 Speaker 1: So he was living with his brother, but things happened 42 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:58,520 Speaker 1: to where he had to move. Me, being Captain saber Hole, 43 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,559 Speaker 1: told him he can stay with me till he found 44 00:02:00,600 --> 00:02:04,080 Speaker 1: another place. Mistake number one, Yes it was girl, not 45 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,000 Speaker 1: he can move with you until he found another place. 46 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 1: If he was your nigga and he moved with you, 47 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,560 Speaker 1: he wasn't moving out. 48 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,200 Speaker 2: That that's just what it is. 49 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 1: Within that time, I found out I was pregnant, so 50 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:17,520 Speaker 1: we agreed to just continue to live together. Okay, right 51 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,359 Speaker 1: before I found out I was pregnant, I let him 52 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,640 Speaker 1: use my car to go to work one night, and 53 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:24,600 Speaker 1: he ended up totaling it. Oh man, I made him 54 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,720 Speaker 1: put down the down payment on another car because he 55 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:29,360 Speaker 1: was somewhere he wasn't supposed to be. 56 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 2: Oh, okay, I know the fuck that's right, But no, you. 57 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: Don't make him put a car up a down payment 58 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,440 Speaker 1: on the new car because he was somewhere he wasn't 59 00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 1: supposed to be. You make him put the fucking down 60 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: payment on the new car because he totaled your shit 61 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:44,760 Speaker 1: and that wasn't his. So I pay the car note, 62 00:02:44,800 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: the insurance, the rent, electricity, and so on and so forth. 63 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,399 Speaker 2: Now this way the real issues begin. 64 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,160 Speaker 1: Once he found out I was pregnant, he started disappearing 65 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: on me on his payday. He would go lay up 66 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: with whoever and come back home once he's broke. 67 00:02:58,919 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 2: I'm pregnant anymore, so I take him back. 68 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 1: That was a lot to digest in that last little sentence, 69 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 1: I'm gonna rent it back for those in the back. 70 00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 1: On his payday, he would go lay up with whoever 71 00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,280 Speaker 1: and come back home once he's broke. 72 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,839 Speaker 2: I'm pregnant and emotional, so I take him back. Oh babe. 73 00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:18,640 Speaker 2: Mm hmmm. 74 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:21,320 Speaker 1: I would say mistake number two, but it was so 75 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,079 Speaker 1: many other mistakes leading up to this one. I'm gonna 76 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: let you go in this becomes an ongoing thing. During 77 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:30,400 Speaker 1: the middle of my pregnancy, I caught COVID really bad, 78 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 1: so I ended up on bed rests. 79 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,520 Speaker 2: Oh Jesus. 80 00:03:32,919 --> 00:03:36,440 Speaker 1: I started getting unemployment shortly after, and I was still 81 00:03:36,480 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: paying all the bills myself. When I can time what 82 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,080 Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out what this is saying. Y'all 83 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: hold up, give me a second. Y'all gotta you know, 84 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:47,960 Speaker 1: because when they write, they write a little fast. I 85 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,000 Speaker 1: told y'all to make sure y'all punctuate or punctualize or 86 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:56,320 Speaker 1: punctualize when y'all write, and shit, I'm trying to figure 87 00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: it out. 88 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:57,120 Speaker 2: So this is. 89 00:03:57,120 --> 00:03:58,600 Speaker 1: See if I'm gonna say if I'm a read and then 90 00:03:58,600 --> 00:03:59,960 Speaker 1: I'm gonna say if I can make sense of it 91 00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,400 Speaker 1: when I can time to renew my lease, my unemployment 92 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: had ran out, and I end up having to move 93 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:10,000 Speaker 1: with his mom. Okay, so anyway it happened like this, 94 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm gonna just break it down. When it came time 95 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 1: to renew the lease, my unemployment had ran out and 96 00:04:15,440 --> 00:04:17,479 Speaker 1: I ended up having to move with his mom. 97 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:19,200 Speaker 2: I thought this move. 98 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,480 Speaker 1: Would help me as far as child care and being 99 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:24,679 Speaker 1: able to save. Two months after moving in with his mom, 100 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:28,200 Speaker 1: he quits his job. I was pissed, but it was 101 00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: a nightclub where he did most of his hoeing, so 102 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,320 Speaker 1: I assumed he would just find another job. It's been 103 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 1: nine months and he still don't have a job. His 104 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: mom became really sick and she put me on her 105 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,320 Speaker 1: medical paperwork because he's unreliable. 106 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 2: Damn. So now you got two headaches, him and his mom. 107 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: So when she gets real sick, I'm the one that 108 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: has to take off work and make sure she's taken 109 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:55,640 Speaker 1: care of. I have fallen completely out of love with him, 110 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,640 Speaker 1: but I have a lot of love for him because 111 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,080 Speaker 1: he's still my child's father, and given the history that 112 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,279 Speaker 1: y'all went through. So yeah, I don't know what to 113 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:04,479 Speaker 1: do because I don't have family that can help me, 114 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:08,240 Speaker 1: especially with childcare, so I feel like I'm obligated to 115 00:05:08,279 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: stay in a miserable place in order to make sure 116 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:14,040 Speaker 1: my child is taken care of. I am stressed to 117 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,919 Speaker 1: the point where I've lost almost twenty pounds in a month. 118 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,400 Speaker 1: Please just keep it real with me and help me 119 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: fix my mess. Love your bunches, baby, I love you too, 120 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:24,600 Speaker 1: and this is why I'm about to get in your 121 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,919 Speaker 1: ass because I love you. This is gonna be some 122 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:30,840 Speaker 1: tough love. But baby, if it ain't coming from none 123 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,239 Speaker 1: of your friends, if it ain't coming from your mom, 124 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,839 Speaker 1: I don't know the relationship between y'all. Even if it 125 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: didn't come from his motherfucking mom who he couldn't even move. 126 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:40,760 Speaker 2: With at first. 127 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: See you see that that's a red flag. You lost 128 00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,080 Speaker 1: your job and had to move in with his mom. 129 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,360 Speaker 1: You know you're pregnant. You were already paying the fucking bills, 130 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,680 Speaker 1: every single bill there was to pay, you were paying it, 131 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:55,080 Speaker 1: so you were already superwoman in your own house. He 132 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 1: was already doing bad by yourself with a nigga who 133 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 1: ain't worth two shits. I'm sorry, excuse me, but this 134 00:06:01,279 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: is exactly what you're giving me, So I'm just regurgitating 135 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: it back to you. And sometimes that is the advice 136 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,520 Speaker 1: you hearing your own shit thrown back at you, so 137 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 1: to make you further realize what you need to do. 138 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: All right, now, we can't put the baby back, No, 139 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 1: we can't. And I know you do not regret your child. 140 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 1: I would never regret any child that I had that 141 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,400 Speaker 1: I gave birth to because of the father. So that's 142 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: one thing. So we have a baby. We know that 143 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: we knew that he was unfucking reliable before you found 144 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: out you were pregnant. You know what I'm saying. He 145 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,240 Speaker 1: had to move in with you, Like you said, that 146 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: was your first mistake. Why couldn't he move in with 147 00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 1: his fucking mother? 148 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 2: All right? 149 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 1: Because he likes to be taken care of. You moved 150 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,080 Speaker 1: him in and you enabled him. Yep, you played a 151 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: part in him being lazy. You played a part in 152 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:53,359 Speaker 1: him not being able to handle his responsibilities. You allowed it, 153 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,280 Speaker 1: and then you expected for him to change. That's not 154 00:06:57,320 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: even what's supposed to been happening. Didn't even take care 155 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:02,640 Speaker 1: of herself. He damn sure would not be able to 156 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: take care of a baby. And he and you started 157 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,839 Speaker 1: taking care of him. So he was okay, resting ashore, 158 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 1: knowing that if she take care of me, she definitely 159 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,120 Speaker 1: can be a good mother to this baby. 160 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 2: So as long as I got her, I'm good. You 161 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:15,239 Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. 162 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: So you enabled him, then you lost the job, y'all 163 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 1: had to move in with his mom. He got a job. 164 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:25,440 Speaker 1: After two months, he quit. Oh no, wait, let me 165 00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: go back. I don't want him misquote you. After two months, Yeah, 166 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: he quit. He didn't even get fucking fired. He quit 167 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:39,040 Speaker 1: his job after moving in with his mom. Why because 168 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: his mom ain't gonna put him out. That's one thing. 169 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,400 Speaker 1: His mom ain't gonna put you out. And if she 170 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 1: ain't gonna put you out, she ain't gonna put him out. 171 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,000 Speaker 2: There we go right there, she not. 172 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 1: Obviously, you two have built the bond because you over 173 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: here taking care of her. Now like you not pregnant, 174 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,600 Speaker 1: in bedridden. You're supposed to been put on bed rest 175 00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 1: because you caught COVID. Shit happens, So now you're even 176 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: more in shambles, you know what I'm saying. 177 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 2: Do you see this pattern? 178 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: Nine months later, fast forward, the baby's here, he still 179 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,920 Speaker 1: ain't got no fucking job, and You're taking care of 180 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 1: not only him, but his mother and your baby. So 181 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: you got three people to take care of, two kids 182 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: and a mom. Because I'm sorry, your baby daddy is 183 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,560 Speaker 1: your kid. That's exactly what you need to be claiming. 184 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:31,640 Speaker 1: Is ass on tagsas or something writing that motherfucker off. 185 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 1: I wish you could write off somebody. I really wish 186 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 1: you could a grown ass people. But it sounds as 187 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: if you know exactly what the hell you need to do. 188 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:44,000 Speaker 1: You said you're falling out of love with him already. 189 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,040 Speaker 1: You're in a miserable place. You're just trying to make 190 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: it work to take care of your child. You lost 191 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:52,800 Speaker 1: twenty pounds in a month being stressed, trying to figure 192 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: out where your next check don't come from. Then also, 193 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: you got this man that you're taking care of and 194 00:08:57,360 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 1: now his mother. You don't want to leave his mother 195 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:02,800 Speaker 1: hide in dry? Does he have any siblings? Does it? 196 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,160 Speaker 1: Is there any way that if you don't do it, 197 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 1: he'll step up and fucking do it. 198 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:08,680 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. 199 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,439 Speaker 1: That's a big responsibility. You let her put your name 200 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: down as emergency contact. You got your own shit going on, baby, 201 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,640 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. Where's your mom, where's your family? 202 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,719 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. What I'm saying, this is 203 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:20,280 Speaker 2: not good. 204 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,920 Speaker 1: And then the first thing that you said, So, I've 205 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: been with my fiance for a year and a half 206 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:28,959 Speaker 1: and it's been pure hell. He proposed to you with 207 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:31,719 Speaker 1: no intention on giving you a fucking wedding. You know 208 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. And I'm saying that because look at 209 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,440 Speaker 1: the place you're in right now. If he can't even 210 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,160 Speaker 1: pay bills, how the fuck he gonna pay for a 211 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:39,880 Speaker 1: fucking wedding. 212 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,240 Speaker 2: How it needs you to understand that? 213 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 1: Hold up, Hold up, I know the shit getting good, 214 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,320 Speaker 1: but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. 215 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:53,440 Speaker 1: If you love me, you'll listen. Your fiance for a 216 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,920 Speaker 1: year and a half. That shit ain't supposed to be 217 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:03,760 Speaker 1: going bed that soon. But it's still situations that could 218 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: be worse, that are worse than yours. So you're not 219 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: completely in the goddamn dumps. 220 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:10,160 Speaker 2: No you're not. 221 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: If you still got good credit, you still got breath 222 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 1: to breathe every time you wake up, you have a 223 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: chance to change your situation. 224 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:18,760 Speaker 2: There you go. 225 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,840 Speaker 1: And the reason why I say credit is because you 226 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,040 Speaker 1: need to get the hell out of there and get 227 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,680 Speaker 1: into your own shit. Still, you need to get another car, 228 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: all right, You donna let Jody crash and goddamn car up. 229 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,560 Speaker 1: Yes I called him Jody, Yes I did. Event I 230 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 1: called him Jody, and you didn't let this nigga joey you. 231 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 1: That's what it is. I ain't mad at him. I'm 232 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:42,840 Speaker 1: mad at jo ass, yes i am. But unlike my 233 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: brother Charlemagne, I'm not gonna give you dunky other day 234 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,800 Speaker 1: because we live and we fucking learn. We live and 235 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,439 Speaker 1: we fucking learned, and you got a great blessing out 236 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 1: the deal when that is your baby. 237 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,560 Speaker 2: So we will always move forward with grace. 238 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 1: But listen, it ain't like he gonna be fighting for 239 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: custody and taking you downtown for child support, baby, and 240 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,360 Speaker 1: he ain't even got a leg to stand on, you know, 241 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:08,640 Speaker 1: So we just pray for him and you keep it moving, 242 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,760 Speaker 1: You keep it the fuck moving, and you don't look back. 243 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:16,200 Speaker 1: Don't look back in that way. I don't mean you 244 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,920 Speaker 1: got to cut all ties with him, because he's still 245 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,079 Speaker 1: your child's father and you still have a great amount 246 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:22,959 Speaker 1: of love for him, but have enough love for him 247 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: to leave his ASTs all the way alone. And let 248 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,120 Speaker 1: him get hisself together, because you can't make him get 249 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:29,880 Speaker 1: hisself together. You gotta let him get itself together, and 250 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,839 Speaker 1: you can't make your child a part of that, that toxicity, 251 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 1: that that whole little situation going on, okay, because you 252 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:39,839 Speaker 1: gotta do it all for your baby. You gotta be 253 00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:44,679 Speaker 1: mentally prepared for motherhood. You know, you got a child 254 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: to raise. So shit is real, all right, Shit is real. 255 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: Shit is real for you every day, all right. So 256 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: I need you to check in with me. Well, the 257 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 1: advice is straight up to fucking leave. I'm sorry, make 258 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,679 Speaker 1: him take care of his mother. Will let him take 259 00:11:58,679 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: care of his mother. He ain't gonna let her get 260 00:12:00,679 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 1: so sick where she just you know, you know, she 261 00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: just fucking croak. You know, if it's if it's you 262 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: know where, if that's in his control, you know, he 263 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,880 Speaker 1: can take care of his mother. You need you are 264 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: a mother, You need to take care of your. 265 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:17,240 Speaker 2: Child because he can't do that with you. Right now, 266 00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 2: check back in with me. 267 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna need to know because I'm I'm I need 268 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:23,720 Speaker 1: you to get the fuck up out of their baby. 269 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:28,880 Speaker 1: And we're moving on. This is from another woman, and 270 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 1: there is no voice memo. She oh god, she got emoji. 271 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: She really about the main this shit. Okay, hey, jas, 272 00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you girl, 273 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,320 Speaker 1: keep doing your thing, but I need help with my mets. 274 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 1: So I was dating this guy for about three weeks. Okay, 275 00:12:42,440 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 1: the vibes was there, he cooked for me, we had drinks. 276 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,760 Speaker 2: I really like him. 277 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,480 Speaker 1: This nigga dropped the love bomb on me after the 278 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,640 Speaker 1: first week. But the nigga threw up a red flag 279 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 1: two of them shits. I have two jobs, two kids, 280 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,880 Speaker 1: in a house that I'm putting back together. The nigga 281 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,240 Speaker 1: asked me to help him pay his rent that he's 282 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,160 Speaker 1: behind on eighteen hundred dollars. 283 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:05,960 Speaker 2: The fuck is he on? Then asked me could I 284 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,880 Speaker 2: apply for a loan to help him. 285 00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 1: I immediately fell some type of way because the fuck 286 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 1: he kept saying, Babe, I just want you to have 287 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,960 Speaker 1: my back and love on me and do what I say. 288 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,840 Speaker 2: He and me fucked up, Jess, I'm too independent for 289 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 2: this nigga. 290 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:22,120 Speaker 1: So he snapped on me because I said I'm not 291 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 1: helping him out, like it's only been three weeks, and 292 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:26,439 Speaker 1: I honestly feel disrespected. 293 00:13:26,480 --> 00:13:27,760 Speaker 2: It's the audacity for me? 294 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,560 Speaker 1: Then what makes it so bad is I caught feelings 295 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 1: for his dinosaur dick ass, Jess, I listened to your 296 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,439 Speaker 1: show every time you drop episode. 297 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 2: Does it the okay? Well? Thank you? You ain't just 298 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:42,800 Speaker 2: going hold up? 299 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,360 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, time out, flag on the play? Can 300 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,240 Speaker 1: we just go back to our corners real quick? How 301 00:13:49,280 --> 00:13:51,040 Speaker 1: the fuck are you gonna go from? 302 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 2: She said? It's audacity for me? Then what makes it 303 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 2: so bad? As I fell for his y. 304 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 1: I caught feelings for his dick ass, Jess, I listen 305 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: to your show every time you drop episode. That's just 306 00:14:05,920 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: how we're gonna end it, baby, all right? 307 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 2: So she listening right now? 308 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 1: So I gotta help you. I gotta help you. Boy, 309 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,320 Speaker 1: I get it. And you're so pretty. I'm looking at 310 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 1: your page, your profile, you so pretty? All right, girl, 311 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: here we go here, it's all right. I'm just gonna 312 00:14:22,760 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 1: tell you, don't don't beat yourself up for falling for 313 00:14:24,920 --> 00:14:26,800 Speaker 1: the dinosaur dick girl, Please don't. 314 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 2: I don't. It's alright. 315 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 1: Sometimes we get a little weakned knees for a little 316 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,360 Speaker 1: dinosaur dane LINGI it's all right, sorry, I'm glad you 317 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:38,840 Speaker 1: listened to my episode. My episodes every time I drop one, 318 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,960 Speaker 1: and this one is for you baby. Now we got 319 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 1: a commercial and if you click off this podcast, I 320 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,440 Speaker 1: swear I'm gonna beat your ass. 321 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 2: Listen, all right, so. 322 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:51,840 Speaker 1: You seem to be very smart, all right, and look 323 00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: at the three weeks girl. 324 00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,480 Speaker 2: Look that's a flex. She had a nigga time about 325 00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,320 Speaker 2: he love you, all right. 326 00:14:56,960 --> 00:15:00,360 Speaker 1: What's not a flex is him saying he loves you 327 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:03,880 Speaker 1: and then following up what all this extra bills and 328 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,960 Speaker 1: expenses bullshit that he got going on? Like he just 329 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,280 Speaker 1: reade drop all of that shit in your lab after 330 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,080 Speaker 1: three weeks. 331 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 2: So this was either his plan because this is what 332 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 2: he does. 333 00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:18,760 Speaker 1: He saw you, he know, he know the power of 334 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,600 Speaker 1: his Dino dick, and he just was able to win 335 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 1: you over. 336 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:24,040 Speaker 2: You know, we got. 337 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:28,120 Speaker 1: Guys like that, guys that prey on successful women with 338 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: good hearts who like to save people. This is the 339 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,600 Speaker 1: same girl from the last story put on her save 340 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: a whole cake, and now she and the gutter right 341 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 1: next to the niggadamnnar in the goddamn gutter with a 342 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: baby taking care of his mother and him, and he'dne 343 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:46,840 Speaker 1: fucked up her credit. 344 00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,440 Speaker 2: Her life is and shambles and all this shit. 345 00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: That's what happens when you go from being a superhero 346 00:15:52,600 --> 00:15:56,000 Speaker 1: and now you are a hurt villain. That's some bullshit, 347 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: ain't it. That's like the story of the Joker. Everybody 348 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: got a story, right, Every villain has a story because 349 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: every villain wasn't born bad. They were born great and 350 00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 1: they were actually saving people at first, and then they 351 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,840 Speaker 1: got fucked over, and then that that that hurt people, 352 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 1: hurt people, shit them kicked in and now you're a villain. Well, 353 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 1: I don't want you to be a villain, young lady. 354 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,320 Speaker 2: I don't. 355 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,480 Speaker 1: I don't want you to hurt the next nigga because 356 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: this nigga was a trash ball, because that's exactly what 357 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,840 Speaker 1: it is. First of all, I don't doubt that he 358 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,880 Speaker 1: loved you. After three weeks. You probably got good conversation. 359 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,800 Speaker 1: You probably different, you know, with all the shit that 360 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: he told you, Yet you different. 361 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,120 Speaker 2: I ain't never hurting nobody like. 362 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:37,720 Speaker 1: You, like you really got good pussy pussy like you 363 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:39,480 Speaker 1: know he probably could have, you know, the match to 364 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,120 Speaker 1: Donald Dick. 365 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,000 Speaker 2: I know you got some nice spicy pussy. 366 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:46,760 Speaker 1: So y'all, sex life was already booming all right the 367 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: red flag you seem to know. 368 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:51,760 Speaker 2: I see. I hate giving advice to people who already 369 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 2: know what the fuck. 370 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:55,280 Speaker 1: Going on, because you are, like I said, like I 371 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: said in the last story, maybe you just need your 372 00:16:57,600 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: bullshit regurgitated back to you so you know what you 373 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,600 Speaker 1: need to do. You just need to move the fuck on. 374 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,199 Speaker 1: You said he cooked for you, y'all had drinks and 375 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,840 Speaker 1: you really liked them. That's good. That's a part of 376 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 1: his plan. That's the part of his plan. The only 377 00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 1: thing he didn't give you was no money. That's because 378 00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,439 Speaker 1: he had nail money to give you. You had all 379 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,679 Speaker 1: the money to get back. He ended up billing you 380 00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:22,080 Speaker 1: for that dinner that he cooked for all that Donald 381 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:25,400 Speaker 1: dingling he'd been dropping off, and them good drinks. That's 382 00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:28,840 Speaker 1: your bill. Now you got a goddamn bill, eighteen hundred dollars. 383 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,280 Speaker 1: You need to help them pay his rent. And this 384 00:17:31,359 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 1: is how niggas think. You have two jobs, two kids, 385 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,720 Speaker 1: and a house that you're putting back together. So that 386 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,119 Speaker 1: shit must have got blown down by the last nigga. 387 00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 1: Here come another. 388 00:17:40,840 --> 00:17:42,680 Speaker 2: Nigga trying to blow down this house. 389 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,040 Speaker 1: You're gonna let them, or what you're gonna do you're 390 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,880 Speaker 1: gonna dust off your cap and save your goddamn self. 391 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:53,359 Speaker 1: Don't keep saving these niggas, bitch and not saying you. 392 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm just speaking into the universe. Stop saving these niggas, bitches. 393 00:17:58,359 --> 00:18:00,399 Speaker 1: That's what I need for y'all to, you know, and 394 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,080 Speaker 1: I can be all nice and wholesome with you. 395 00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:04,160 Speaker 2: Stop saving these guys ladies. 396 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,359 Speaker 1: But y'all don't understand when somebody talked to y'all like that, 397 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 1: because that's how you fucking almost ended up paying an 398 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,440 Speaker 1: eighteen hundred dollars rent that wasn't mean yours while try 399 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:16,240 Speaker 1: to put your house back together. So yeah, I'm yelling 400 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:18,080 Speaker 1: at you because I ain't mad at this nigga. I'm 401 00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,359 Speaker 1: mad at you because something tells me that if you 402 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 1: still asking for advice, that you're still fucking with this 403 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: nigga here and there after that little three weeks and 404 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,800 Speaker 1: you probably didn't pay eighteen hundred, but you probably gave 405 00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 1: him eight hundred toward the eighteen. 406 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 2: I don't know. 407 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,080 Speaker 1: You need to tell me if I'm right, because you 408 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,240 Speaker 1: talking to me now, you're talking to me, or don't 409 00:18:39,359 --> 00:18:42,200 Speaker 1: don't bullshit me. You didne did something to help this nigga. 410 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,800 Speaker 1: All right, you did something and that's probably why you 411 00:18:45,840 --> 00:18:49,359 Speaker 1: feel disrespected. And it's only been three weeks and you 412 00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:53,760 Speaker 1: upset because you caught feelings because you know, no, you 413 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,720 Speaker 1: didn't help this nigga. You help them, and it don't 414 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,639 Speaker 1: look like he made a change or he going do 415 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:01,440 Speaker 1: anything to. 416 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,280 Speaker 2: Pay you back. 417 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 1: It don't look it, don't it don't look too good 418 00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 1: you either let her move in that goddamn house. 419 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:10,800 Speaker 2: It's something something you ain't telling me. Now. You're gonna 420 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 2: have to come back and. 421 00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,639 Speaker 1: Tell me, because I know you, because I was you before, 422 00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,320 Speaker 1: and I don't want you to be how I was 423 00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:21,199 Speaker 1: any longer. So I'm gonna need you to tell me 424 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 1: what I'm missing out of here, what you failed to 425 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:26,320 Speaker 1: tell me. You to help this nigga out, and you 426 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 1: need to stop for you end up like the girl 427 00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:31,399 Speaker 1: from the first story who ended up pregnant and had 428 00:19:31,440 --> 00:19:33,600 Speaker 1: a baby by a nigga who she had to take 429 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:36,600 Speaker 1: care of. So now she got two damn kids, the 430 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,280 Speaker 1: baby and the father. That's not where you want to 431 00:19:39,359 --> 00:19:41,080 Speaker 1: end You want to end up in the gutter. You 432 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 1: don't want to end up in the gutter with a baby, 433 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:49,679 Speaker 1: but sometimes that happens, and I'll continue to pray for 434 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:53,880 Speaker 1: you if you end up there, because my sister's looking 435 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,560 Speaker 1: at me like this, You being too hard on it, 436 00:19:55,920 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: all right, So I don't want to be too hard. 437 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,400 Speaker 2: I'm gonna pray. 438 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 1: For you and I love you, but I know you're 439 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,239 Speaker 1: lying to me about something, something you're holding back. So 440 00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:10,040 Speaker 1: you me every thing, tell me, and just like that, 441 00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,919 Speaker 1: we've come to the end of another. Carefully replace with 442 00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,280 Speaker 1: your girl, Jesselarius, fix and mess the way I'll be 443 00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,760 Speaker 1: fixing it each and every Wednesday. Make sure you catch 444 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:23,720 Speaker 1: me on iHeart Spotify, Apple podcasts, anywhere you can catch 445 00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:26,560 Speaker 1: a podcast at you can catch mine, and in my 446 00:20:26,640 --> 00:21:42,199 Speaker 1: deepest Pam Voice can't Fully Reckless is a production of 447 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,320 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, 448 00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen 449 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,439 Speaker 1: to your favorite shows.