WEBVTT - Door-to-door beef jerky sales. 0:00:02.160 --> 0:00:08.920 Welcome back to another episode of Alchemy. This than well, 0:00:09.520 --> 0:00:11.480 back to the matter is I have high hopes for 0:00:11.520 --> 0:00:15.440 this year. So yeah, hey, if you can hear me, 0:00:15.760 --> 0:00:19.520 don't funk this up. Okay, I love you your favorite 0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:23.360 actor named Kevin Polld, but I digress. Let's meet our alchemists, 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:25.360 shall we? In no particular order. Let's check in with 0:00:25.400 --> 0:00:30.480 Craig Kowski for his book reading goals for the new year. Kevin, 0:00:30.600 --> 0:00:36.000 I read fifty three books. Uh in one. I don't 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:39.800 want to see a fucking book this year. I don't 0:00:39.800 --> 0:00:43.640 want anybody to tell me what they're reading. I don't 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:49.040 want to even read text on the the internet. I'm 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:52.040 sick of it. I'm sick of it. Uh. It's uh, 0:00:52.080 --> 0:00:55.200 it's repulsive to me. So I get it. You want 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:56.840 to get you stummer, I want to get dumber. In 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:02.480 two right, Well, let's go have lunch soon. Um, did 0:01:02.520 --> 0:01:05.080 you squeeze in mel Brooks and the fifty three? No 0:01:06.280 --> 0:01:11.280 mel Brooks his new book, no autobiography. This is exactly 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:13.560 what you didn't want. You didn't want people bringing up books. 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:17.200 I don't want I don't want people recommending books. I 0:01:17.240 --> 0:01:20.000 don't need to read any more books. I did it 0:01:20.120 --> 0:01:22.720 I accomplished the goal. You really did, I mean, you 0:01:22.800 --> 0:01:25.319 say you did, so we'll believe you now. Jack Dinkins 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:30.000 was the ruthe Ja rule, the have you ever made 0:01:30.040 --> 0:01:33.800 a pizza from scratch? And if not, what the hell? 0:01:34.720 --> 0:01:40.199 I actually have? My husband makes bread and he makes 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:46.240 dope pizza dough that's very, very delicious, and uh we 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:49.360 we did it so often in the past year that 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:52.440 my family actually got together and got us one of 0:01:52.480 --> 0:01:58.000 those Uni pizza ovens for Chris. Yes, I'm so excited. 0:01:58.240 --> 0:02:02.920 And it's an indoor unit. Yes it's small enough, but um, 0:02:02.960 --> 0:02:05.960 we do it outside and everyone that we know who 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:11.080 has one also does it outside. But you can probably 0:02:11.080 --> 0:02:13.840 do it inside. Our place is pretty small, and you'd 0:02:13.880 --> 0:02:16.520 recommend that you've used it. You're happy we've used it. 0:02:17.200 --> 0:02:19.359 And it's definitely and it went really well. It is 0:02:19.400 --> 0:02:23.320 definitely a learning process because it is so hot. It's 0:02:23.440 --> 0:02:26.160 very different than the than the oven. But either way, 0:02:26.560 --> 0:02:30.360 I love making pizza. It is a collaboration with Pat 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:33.320 as he does the dough. Um, but I love it. 0:02:33.320 --> 0:02:39.600 And my favorite is like a pesto pizza. Oh sure, well, 0:02:39.639 --> 0:02:41.600 I had no idea any of that was part of 0:02:41.639 --> 0:02:47.359 your life. I just asked a blank question, thinking you'd 0:02:47.400 --> 0:02:50.400 probably say leave me alone, like Craig did with the books. 0:02:51.120 --> 0:02:55.440 But thank you for that. Thank you. He's a tool 0:02:55.440 --> 0:03:00.280 thing tall in any saddle. Pitch me a new game show, 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:04.200 all right. We don't have two or four. We have 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:07.120 three contestants. All right, they come on down. First of all, 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.600 everyone's in a bathing suit. No reason, there's no water 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:11.760 activities at all. But we've tricked them. You don't tell 0:03:11.800 --> 0:03:14.720 them the game. It's pure knowledge game. All right, we 0:03:14.800 --> 0:03:16.519 take We asked them, make sure they've read like a 0:03:16.600 --> 0:03:19.320 hundred books in their lifetime. Tell them it's all book based. 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:21.840 Come in, and then we asked them about the same things. 0:03:22.280 --> 0:03:26.359 But from the movie version. That's fantastic. What do you 0:03:26.400 --> 0:03:32.320 call the show book nerds? But nerds a spelled and 0:03:32.560 --> 0:03:34.880 a d s. Okay, if I can take you back 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.560 to the top of the pitch. Uh, it's not two, 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:39.800 it's not four, it's three. You know, Jeopardy has been 0:03:39.840 --> 0:03:42.160 three since the beginning. And it's kind of maybe argue 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:45.000 they want more contestants and some of them don't want many. 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:46.240 And I just want to let you know this is 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:49.400 gonna land right in that sweet spot where Jeopardy is. Yeah, 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:51.840 that's something you want to be that brand. I just 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:55.600 wasn't you know, taken aback or I thought any more 0:03:55.640 --> 0:04:00.600 of you for pitching three. Hey there's James Heeney, Candy Jane, Jane, 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:06.520 please share one of your strangest auditions. Oh okay, Well, 0:04:07.680 --> 0:04:09.600 so this is a strange audition and I want to 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:11.280 get through it really quick because I got something important. 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:14.560 I want to say I had an audition. We can 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.839 skip the audition if you want to go to I 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:20.479 just wanted it. Last last episode, I talked about being 0:04:20.520 --> 0:04:22.320 bummed out about the new year, and there has been 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.279 something that cheers me up, and it's the reviews people 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.400 have been leaving this year. There's been some great reviews, 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:30.760 and we want true reviews, honest ones. And this is 0:04:30.760 --> 0:04:34.080 a five star review from initiate Chris dash Alvarado dot 0:04:34.120 --> 0:04:37.080 com virus. That's the name of like the title of it. 0:04:37.640 --> 0:04:40.280 Uh it says, and there's a whole bunch of programming 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.880 language and but then it says, I love this podcast. 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:46.520 Personal anecdote. I listened to it all the time at work. Uh. 0:04:46.720 --> 0:04:50.839 I love the Alchemist, especially Chris Alvarado. Personal details acquired. 0:04:51.000 --> 0:04:56.000 It's a really cleverly written review that all uses programming language, 0:04:56.000 --> 0:04:58.560 and I just kind of shortened it right there. So 0:04:59.279 --> 0:05:01.839 those reviews have cheered me up a lot. And one 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:05.720 time I had an audition for Black Funkadelic bass player 0:05:05.880 --> 0:05:09.919 and I went in and there was everybody looked like 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:13.000 they were from nineteen seventies and had like amazing hair, 0:05:13.080 --> 0:05:14.880 and I was just like, what am I doing here? 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.960 I didn't get a call back, but they treated me 0:05:19.040 --> 0:05:21.120 nice in the audition, and I was just like, what, like, 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:22.760 why am I here? And I guess they were just 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:25.760 looking at options. Did you tease out your hair at 0:05:25.760 --> 0:05:29.920 all or not? No? I thought it would be ridiculous 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:31.680 if I did. If they wanted to tease my hair out, 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:33.080 I thought they would. Maybe I should have Maybe I 0:05:33.080 --> 0:05:35.239 could have booked it. I mean, we should talk before 0:05:35.279 --> 0:05:37.440 all your auditions. I also went out for that. They 0:05:37.680 --> 0:05:42.840 ended up going with Bootsy Collins. I don't know. Thank you, 0:05:43.560 --> 0:05:45.520 And last but screw you if you think him least, 0:05:45.560 --> 0:05:51.000 it's Mark Gagliardi. Hello, gag don't nag. What is your 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:54.400 secret to meeting new people at a party full of folks? 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:59.520 You just don't know My secret to meeting people. Uh, 0:06:00.200 --> 0:06:02.960 icebreaker games are great. Just immediately jump in with a 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:07.279 zip zap zop. Everyone will play. Uh. Now, I've found 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:09.920 in my life that there are two things that everybody 0:06:09.920 --> 0:06:12.440 loves to talk about when meeting strangers, and it is 0:06:12.720 --> 0:06:16.440 where they are from and what you eat there. And 0:06:17.040 --> 0:06:20.200 everybody loves to talk about the food where they're from. 0:06:20.240 --> 0:06:23.480 So that is my go to with strangers. I can 0:06:23.520 --> 0:06:26.320 talk about any food at all. Well, you're from and 0:06:26.360 --> 0:06:29.560 what's the food to get there? Exactly? That's a great one. Yeah, 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:32.479 thank you for that. Please take the rest of the 0:06:32.520 --> 0:06:35.440 fourteen seconds off. Let's do a damn show. All of 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:38.200 our scene suggestions are gathered from your listener emails or 0:06:38.240 --> 0:06:41.919 from our patron v i p s. Any level of 0:06:42.000 --> 0:06:46.520 patron support is greatly appreciated. You'll receive exclusive content like 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:49.320 standalone bonus scenes that we make just for your video 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.560 on demand of our recording sessions of this very moment 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:58.080 of me saying this, Does that not sound great? Other 0:06:58.200 --> 0:07:00.360 great perks. Head on over to patron dot com slash 0:07:00.400 --> 0:07:04.360 alchemy this, or you can suggest a scene via email 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:07.120 that's right just right to us alchemy this email at 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:12.320 gmail dot com. It's that simple. It's just alchemy Gmail 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:15.960 dot com. Seen one constant patron v I p by 0:07:16.000 --> 0:07:20.440 the moniker scene suggestor for three one two, who wrote, 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:24.560 hey there, alchemists. Somehow my last suggestion ended with Santa, 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:29.360 the real fucking Santa, rubbing his ship into someone's face. Perfection. 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:33.600 I have another scene suggestion, door to door beef jerky sales. 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:39.680 Thanks legends. I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm gonna 0:07:39.720 --> 0:07:42.160 tell you right now, it's gonna go nice and easy. 0:07:42.360 --> 0:07:46.320 Nobody gets hurt if anyone should come by this house 0:07:46.320 --> 0:07:49.920 while we're robbing it. You just need to do fucking nothing. 0:07:50.280 --> 0:07:53.240 That's it. But I should answer the door, right? Are 0:07:53.280 --> 0:07:55.760 you gonna go right to a problem? I say, there 0:07:55.800 --> 0:07:58.240 was the doorbelt just moments to go, and you're seeing 0:07:58.280 --> 0:08:01.320 I just do nothing, and we're I'm trying to lay 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:04.120 the boundaries for you to stay alive. What part of 0:08:04.120 --> 0:08:08.840 that do you not? Okay, now, answer the door at 0:08:08.840 --> 0:08:11.920 your own peril, or sit the funk down so that 0:08:11.960 --> 0:08:14.040 we can get what we need and get out of 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:16.920 your life and leave you alone. Okay, I don't want 0:08:16.960 --> 0:08:19.960 to just you're saying, answer the door at my orange 0:08:20.000 --> 0:08:24.920 peril or sit down. I'm afraid. I don't know what 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:27.600 to do. I feel like I gotta answer the door. Hey, 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:33.040 listen to the boss when he's a ducking a Tommy, 0:08:33.320 --> 0:08:35.280 Can I see you over here for a second place. 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:38.200 I don't like people disrespecting you. Appreciate that. I just 0:08:38.240 --> 0:08:40.480 wanted to point out that I don't need you to 0:08:40.559 --> 0:08:45.319 tell anybody what I just thinking said. But here you 0:08:45.880 --> 0:08:49.400 that's right, and now guess what's happening. What you're disrespecting me? 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:51.920 And I don't appreciate it. I'm sorry. Let's just rob 0:08:52.000 --> 0:08:55.560 this place. Oh it's that goddamn doorbell. I can't get 0:08:55.600 --> 0:08:58.360 it out of my head. Boss, I feel like we 0:08:58.480 --> 0:09:01.520 got to answer the door. You know, I forgot you 0:09:01.559 --> 0:09:03.920 actually worked for the crew. I thought you were the 0:09:03.960 --> 0:09:06.719 people who lived here. And listen to me. If you're 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.640 going to stay within my employment, you do not answer 0:09:09.720 --> 0:09:14.560 the fucking We're trying to run this place and so 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:18.760 much noise, how much take off the gag and let's 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:22.600 see what they have to say. Okay, I have a 0:09:22.880 --> 0:09:25.160 have a ring, so you can just see who's at 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:27.880 the door. That way. If it's somebody from your employee, 0:09:27.920 --> 0:09:29.960 you can let him in and if we just have 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:31.640 to look at the ring on your finger, and then 0:09:31.679 --> 0:09:33.480 we're gonna be able to see what's going This is 0:09:33.520 --> 0:09:38.199 an app? Are you disrespecting the boss thinking he doesn't 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:42.400 know what the apps are? Okay, excuse me just a second, 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:44.800 Tommy over here? Yeah, what is it? Boss? Yeah? I 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:49.719 just wanted to say that. Well, let me go through 0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:52.000 it one more time, Marcy. We ring the bell and 0:09:52.040 --> 0:09:55.080 then we count to a hundred, and if if nobody 0:09:55.200 --> 0:09:57.760 answers during that time, then we'll move on to the 0:09:57.800 --> 0:10:04.040 next house. Okay, okay, Dad, okay? And oh and and 0:10:04.040 --> 0:10:06.520 and if nobody answers, you move on to the next house. 0:10:06.880 --> 0:10:09.760 And if they buy something, I get three ice cream cones. 0:10:10.320 --> 0:10:13.160 That's right, that's right, three ice creams. Have you already 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:19.360 thought about which flavors you want? Mars, Mint, chocolate chip, strawberry, banana, crumberule. 0:10:21.440 --> 0:10:26.880 We're gone and we're gonna have to go, so we're special. Okay. 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:30.080 What's our count? He daddy? And need a date. That's 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:32.680 what it's gonna be like when we get that ice cream. 0:10:32.760 --> 0:10:38.080 That's right, Marcy? Where are we right now? Okay? So 0:10:38.120 --> 0:10:42.120 we got u seventy three more seconds before we move 0:10:42.160 --> 0:10:44.280 on to the next house, and again we only ring 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:46.840 the bell once. We ring the bell once and that's it, 0:10:47.080 --> 0:10:52.920 and that's it. But we wait patiently, just wait, wait, wait, wait, 0:10:52.960 --> 0:10:57.000 what was that? Hello? Nobody should go away, get out 0:10:57.040 --> 0:11:00.240 of here. I think somebody said nobody's here, go way, 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:04.880 But clearly there are here. They're here. Wait, they're communicating 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:10.000 through the ring. We can just talk right back. Excuse me, um, sir, 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:13.719 We're not trying to cause any trouble. We're just here 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.560 with delicious, delicious meats, sticks and meats. My daughter and 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:20.880 I are selling door to door beef jerky. We've got 0:11:20.920 --> 0:11:24.920 spicy jerky, We've got crunchy jerky, we've got candy jerky. 0:11:24.600 --> 0:11:29.920 Can you imagine every variety of jerky. Daddy says it's 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:33.480 good for your health, and Marcy says it tastes yum. 0:11:35.360 --> 0:11:37.560 This is horribly suppoised. Let's open the door and get 0:11:37.640 --> 0:11:43.760 some beef jerkey. What beef jerky? It's beef jerky. How 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:47.120 do you know there's beef jerky out there? It's your ring, boss. 0:11:47.120 --> 0:11:49.440 Didn't you see the ring? You didn't see it in 0:11:49.480 --> 0:11:52.760 the appter The beef jerky sounds pretty good, Tommy could 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:56.120 I talk to you for a second. What the hell 0:11:56.200 --> 0:11:58.680 do you have to give me such grief in front 0:11:58.720 --> 0:12:01.360 of the other game. Just I've been the most loyally 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:03.920 you of anybody who are the most loyal, That's what 0:12:04.000 --> 0:12:07.319 pains me to have to over and over again win 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:12.040 the puss. Listen, alright, boss, I've let in the beef 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:18.079 turkey salesman here. Sollo, it appears to hello. How are 0:12:18.160 --> 0:12:22.440 you good, sir? And is this your daughter? Yes, we're 0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:24.840 playing a game. You see that guy over there with 0:12:24.920 --> 0:12:29.559 the gag in his mouth, he's the prisoner. Now can 0:12:29.640 --> 0:12:33.080 you guess, little girl, what he did to become our prisoner? 0:12:33.720 --> 0:12:37.079 You might win the game. Didn't buy any beef turkey? 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:44.920 That's right? Oh my goodness. The door boss, Why don't 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:48.120 you get it? Larry? Wow? Dad, we could really make 0:12:48.160 --> 0:12:50.800 a lot of sales if people keep showing up. I 0:12:50.840 --> 0:12:54.000 think we're going to clean up here, Banana Crimberley, here 0:12:54.040 --> 0:13:00.240 we come. Who is it? Who? Excuse me? With the 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.800 dice and vacuums. We're just out here just second to 0:13:02.840 --> 0:13:05.240 see if you have your vacuum and if you're happy 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.880 with it. Okay, listen, is it something that would be 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:11.480 really good if I cleaned up a mistake I made. 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:16.000 This vacuum can pick up anything. Come on, you know, 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:20.120 don't no more. You're gonna the boss is gonna love 0:13:20.200 --> 0:13:22.079 me when he sees to you. All right, are you 0:13:22.120 --> 0:13:27.040 gonna just open the are you do? Come on? Look 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.439 at this foire. But the high ceilings are hard to 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:34.160 keep clean. Oh, this sure are? And Marcy tell them 0:13:34.200 --> 0:13:36.680 what they get in the value pack. The value pack 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:40.600 has all three flavors, spicy, crunchy, and candy. But you 0:13:40.640 --> 0:13:43.080 don't just get three sticks of beef jerky. You're gonna 0:13:43.120 --> 0:13:51.360 get nine sticks s each you both. I'm so sorry, 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:53.440 little girl. I just want to make sure that I 0:13:53.480 --> 0:13:55.920 get credit for we're credit to do. I prefer a 0:13:56.040 --> 0:14:00.320 young lady. What you deserve to be called young adye? 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:02.760 We are so sorry. Can you give me just a moment? 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:09.880 Larry Tommy come over here for a second. Why would 0:14:09.880 --> 0:14:12.199 you give shipped to me in front of anybody? And also, 0:14:12.320 --> 0:14:15.240 don't talk to the little girl Leaver alone. She wants 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:17.480 to be called young woman. First of all, we know 0:14:17.520 --> 0:14:21.160 what that's nothing but trouble. You ain't woke. If there's 0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:24.920 one thing you ain't, you're right, you're right, But I 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:27.280 want you to take the owner of the house into 0:14:27.280 --> 0:14:29.520 the back bedroom and gag that son of a bitch 0:14:29.640 --> 0:14:31.640 like there's no fucking tomorrow. I don't want to hear 0:14:31.640 --> 0:14:35.600 another fucking Pete Petter him h huh oh. And I 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:39.640 got a special guest dad. They keep on applauding me 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.680 from the other room. Do you hear how many times 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:49.440 they are laughing? Marcia, You're doing terrific, Like when people 0:14:49.480 --> 0:14:51.600 are cheering and they're like, oh, like when you're watching 0:14:51.640 --> 0:14:53.800 a basketball game, like something ext he happens, Like I 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.440 just feel like I'm nailing it so hard. They're on 0:14:56.480 --> 0:15:02.960 your side, young lad, You're the best. But I'm not 0:15:03.000 --> 0:15:06.160 going to lie to you. I have even bigger hopes 0:15:06.200 --> 0:15:10.720 for this beef Terky brigade. Really am I am I 0:15:10.760 --> 0:15:13.840 cramping your style? No, no, no, I still want to 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:17.320 do this with you. But like, don't you think that 0:15:17.400 --> 0:15:20.520 if we do really well, like maybe mom will come back? 0:15:20.720 --> 0:15:25.280 You know? Well I hope so she sees that we're 0:15:25.280 --> 0:15:28.080 doing so well and then we're making all of that 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:31.120 fat cash that she wanted, then maybe she'd come back, 0:15:31.320 --> 0:15:33.800 you know, once we have that fat fat though. Yeah, 0:15:33.800 --> 0:15:37.960 you're you're putting this on on Instagram live right. Yes, 0:15:38.160 --> 0:15:40.880 if only she would follow me, if followly she would 0:15:40.880 --> 0:15:45.000 follow me. Well, I was on to Baskin Robbins thirty 0:15:45.040 --> 0:15:48.640 one flavors all for taking. Hey, we just so you know, 0:15:48.720 --> 0:15:53.320 we're out of the banana Crimberley and the green chocolate. 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:58.040 Meant what can I do for you? Oh? Well, my daughter? 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:02.400 Who daughter? Our daughter? That's her favorite? What are you 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:04.760 gonna do? You're not gonna get her the crimberulet? Is 0:16:04.800 --> 0:16:07.120 that what you're going to do. I'm leaving and I'm 0:16:07.160 --> 0:16:09.600 never coming back, and it's your fault. And if she 0:16:09.640 --> 0:16:13.080 ever asks about it, this is why they said no. 0:16:17.200 --> 0:16:20.760 Oh god, I just had a flashback of that moment. Oh, 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:23.280 the terrible moment where they're out there out of two 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:25.920 of your three favorite flavors. So if you're having a 0:16:25.960 --> 0:16:27.760 time on't you just step aside and let the next 0:16:27.800 --> 0:16:34.200 customer go? Oh god? Oh, So that the vacuum is 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.640 it able to clean up tomato juice that got all 0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:40.520 over the place like a V eight like a like 0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:46.480 av Yeah, Like I made a big message to V 0:16:46.640 --> 0:16:48.960 eight and it mean the world to me if we 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.240 could clean it up. Yeah, I can see how that 0:16:51.320 --> 0:16:54.400 happened those cans. The cans they're weird, they're too small, 0:16:54.520 --> 0:16:57.040 but but they're hard to open. So yeah, I feel 0:16:57.080 --> 0:17:00.720 like a giant when I hold them. Yeah, that's a 0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:02.720 good point too, sir. But yeah, we have all kinds 0:17:02.760 --> 0:17:05.800 of dysons. What you're looking for is the wet Dyson 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.000 picks up anything like that. I have it here right 0:17:08.000 --> 0:17:14.200 on my back. Take it. When did this guy get here? Well, 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:17.920 when the second thorbell rang after the beef jerky, there's 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:22.440 another bell and Boss said, get the door. You really 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:26.159 think this guy is a cleaner upper kind of guy? 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:29.160 Can I show you something, sir? Yes, yes, step over here. 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:34.240 Do you think you see dust on the ground? I mean, 0:17:34.400 --> 0:17:36.679 do you see dust on the ground? Are you asking 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:39.240 me or him? Both of you? This is a participant 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:42.359 of you can respond, I see it. I see it 0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.919 all right. You see. It's not the cleanest house. But 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.280 do you see what I just did? That area is 0:17:50.320 --> 0:17:53.480 remarkably cleaner than this other area. And that's what you're 0:17:53.480 --> 0:17:55.840 gonna get with the Dyson. You're gonna get a guarantee. Now, 0:17:55.880 --> 0:17:58.040 we have three kinds. We have a candy, we have 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.119 a salty and a spice. No I don't want you 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:02.760 take credit for this with the Boss. I brought this 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.000 guy in here. Believe me, I have no interest in 0:18:05.080 --> 0:18:07.240 taking credit with her. This with the Boss that a 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:10.919 scene one. Ah, let it be a lesson to the 0:18:10.920 --> 0:18:17.920 rest of you. Is scene too comes from listen to 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:23.920 Matthew Bollo insert as kissing, heartfelt message here. I frequently 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.919 listened to your podcast, and I am a full time painter, 0:18:27.400 --> 0:18:31.240 and it's a better alternative than watching paint dry. Nice 0:18:31.560 --> 0:18:35.280 nicely played, Matthew. I have a scene suggestion for you, 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:41.640 libertarians successfully get rid of stop signs. Thanks, thanks so much, 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:47.800 Keep up the amazing work, Matthew. Ah, Jesus, I'm so sorry. 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:50.440 I know, I mean, I don't not supposed to apologize 0:18:50.480 --> 0:18:53.359 in a in a situation like this for insurance and 0:18:53.359 --> 0:18:56.200 all that, But I feel like this hadn't been my fault, 0:18:56.240 --> 0:19:00.359 Like you t boned me. Your ta boned used to 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:02.359 be a stop sign right here. I don't know what 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:08.280 the hell is I know that I'm sorry, I'm apologizing. 0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:12.800 Do we just need let me just trade information with you? Okay, 0:19:13.000 --> 0:19:18.200 here's some information. That's not what I meant by trade informed. 0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:21.240 I mean like I need your insurance cars giving you 0:19:21.400 --> 0:19:25.720 by insurance information. But that's how it works in a 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:31.000 car accident. You you just p boned me? If you asshole? 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:37.720 Oh jeez, I can't be I don't want to be 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:44.240 a Hello gentlemen, how did this happen? High officer? Um? Uh, 0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:47.600 we were just in an accident. I could have sworn 0:19:47.600 --> 0:19:49.800 there was a stop sign here yesterday. He was in 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:53.840 an accident. I that wasn't me. License and registration, both 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:56.080 of you, please, yeah, here you both of us. What 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:59.639 did I just say he clearly p boned this car 0:20:00.000 --> 0:20:03.160 whoever was driving it? Well, I'll determine whether it's clearly 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:09.280 in the meantime license and registration? All right, okay, Uh, 0:20:10.240 --> 0:20:12.399 I'll tell you what. Why don't you both head on 0:20:12.440 --> 0:20:15.760 over to your vehicles and I'll speak with you one 0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:21.600 at a time. Gentlemen, who says, uh, who's been accused 0:20:21.680 --> 0:20:25.000 of doing the t boning? Yes? Yes, sir? Yeah. How 0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:28.040 long have you lived at this address? Uh? My whole life. 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:30.400 I've never left this is. I go around the block 0:20:30.440 --> 0:20:34.400 and then I come back. But that's about it. There 0:20:34.440 --> 0:20:36.560 was I swear there was a stop sign here. I 0:20:36.640 --> 0:20:40.240 see on your license that you're supposed to be wearing eyeglasses. 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:45.440 I I left him at home, but I had one. 0:20:45.480 --> 0:20:48.080 I have won contact in the future. Yeah, quick answers, 0:20:48.080 --> 0:20:50.840 I'm wearing contacts, sir. Okay, I have one of my 0:20:50.880 --> 0:20:52.600 contacts and I lost the other one, so I was 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:55.200 gonna wear my glass. I'm sorry. I get nervous around cops. 0:20:55.280 --> 0:20:57.760 I swear there was a stop sign there. Well, for 0:20:57.800 --> 0:20:59.879 the record, there was for many, many years. And if 0:21:00.080 --> 0:21:02.520 said you live around the corner, you well know that 0:21:02.560 --> 0:21:05.560 there has been a stop sign here for jeez, as 0:21:05.600 --> 0:21:09.480 long as anyone can remember. Yeah, but you probably also 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:13.080 are aware that all stop signs have been removed. So 0:21:13.520 --> 0:21:17.000 that's you know, general information now that everybody knows every 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:20.760 had what means everybody knows all that remove? What? Hang 0:21:20.800 --> 0:21:22.800 on a second, didn't there used to be a red 0:21:22.880 --> 0:21:28.080 light right there? And yeah? And didn't didn't didn't your 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:31.760 squad car used to have have police written on the side. 0:21:32.560 --> 0:21:35.920 You're did yeah? And you're your badge? Where's your badge? 0:21:35.960 --> 0:21:41.880 What is happening? Oh, ladies, gentlemen? I called the Libertarian 0:21:42.040 --> 0:21:49.520 Society of Putnam County the lcs PC two order whoa whoa? 0:21:49.600 --> 0:21:51.119 You can call things to order? Why don't we just 0:21:51.200 --> 0:21:53.359 let it happen. Nobody should be trying to call things 0:21:53.359 --> 0:21:56.800 to order. It's not for it. Good good, good, good 0:21:56.840 --> 0:22:00.919 test and everyone freedoms for all. All right. So we 0:22:01.040 --> 0:22:06.400 have had a busy year. Uh. Stop signs gone, police 0:22:06.440 --> 0:22:13.119 cars gone, red lights gone, self checkout machines gone. Um. 0:22:13.160 --> 0:22:16.920 So what we're looking for is kind of a group consensus, 0:22:17.320 --> 0:22:19.800 a thought process of what we want to get rid 0:22:19.840 --> 0:22:24.000 of that I want to get rid of cos mm hmm. Yeah. 0:22:24.040 --> 0:22:28.560 We need a national time honor system national everybody keeps 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.280 their own time. Uh huh. I don't want somebody to 0:22:31.280 --> 0:22:33.359 try to take my time. Yeah, we don't want the 0:22:33.400 --> 0:22:40.280 government telling us what time it is. I like that freedom. 0:22:40.320 --> 0:22:47.280 So we're gonna call that the freedom time Clause FTC. Trees, 0:22:47.359 --> 0:22:54.160 I want them gone. You want trees gone? Well here yeah, seconded. Yeah, 0:22:54.880 --> 0:22:57.040 so I just don't want them. That's how I feel, 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:00.679 just feel I need to read said, Wow, is the 0:23:00.720 --> 0:23:04.600 government pushing trees on us? You're telling me I had 0:23:04.640 --> 0:23:06.440 to have a tree, and I don't want to treat 0:23:08.040 --> 0:23:09.960 Mr President, Thank you for seeing me. I just wanted 0:23:10.000 --> 0:23:13.720 to go over a couple of the most recent removals 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:19.160 by the Libertarian Party. The last one seems to be treats, which, um, 0:23:19.560 --> 0:23:23.160 I know you worked real hard to U save our 0:23:23.280 --> 0:23:28.720 forests and our natural Every American citizen got to plant 0:23:28.760 --> 0:23:31.960 a tree in their yard. Yeah, okay, I'm not I'm 0:23:32.000 --> 0:23:36.000 not breaking on that one. That's staying in right. Well, 0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:38.560 you don't have to break on anything you believe in, sir. 0:23:38.720 --> 0:23:41.680 That's why I'm asking you if we could maybe put 0:23:41.720 --> 0:23:46.399 together a master plan as to how to respond to 0:23:46.480 --> 0:23:49.280 the Libertarian Party. And I say, we just push harder 0:23:49.359 --> 0:23:53.399 and we get trees in everybody's yard faster. I want to. 0:23:53.440 --> 0:23:57.000 I want to double our putting trees in people's yards effort. Right, 0:23:57.040 --> 0:24:01.920 it's the push harder part aspect that I'm uh unclear, sir. 0:24:02.440 --> 0:24:05.439 How would we in fact push hard well, instead of 0:24:05.480 --> 0:24:07.960 having people go up to the door to collect information 0:24:08.000 --> 0:24:10.960 in census, I want them to go up to people's 0:24:10.960 --> 0:24:14.040 door and plant trees in their yard. Yeah. We talked 0:24:14.080 --> 0:24:18.760 about that one before. Can I be honest, Ronald. I 0:24:18.920 --> 0:24:23.280