1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,680
Speaker 1: The baby isn't mine, my girlfriend said it was. Should

2
00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,440
Speaker 1: I leave her now? I mean yes, because she lied

3
00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,480
Speaker 1: to you. Rose twenty eight female and I twenty nine male,

4
00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,680
Speaker 1: were together for four years, from our last year at

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,919
Speaker 1: school until just after university. I loved her very much

6
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,759
Speaker 1: and genuinely thought I would marry her. However, we were

7
00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:22,599
Speaker 1: very much not in a place to have a child.

8
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,799
Speaker 2: You know, we.

9
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,400
Speaker 1: Had previously discussed the matter and agreed that we were

10
00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,480
Speaker 1: both okay with termination if it came to it. Six

11
00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:36,440
Speaker 1: years ago she became pregnant. She broke down when she

12
00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:40,000
Speaker 1: told me four months in and admitted that she had

13
00:00:40,080 --> 00:00:43,000
Speaker 1: cheated on me and that the baby wasn't mine.

14
00:00:43,159 --> 00:00:44,960
Speaker 2: Dang, that's rough, dud, yikes.

15
00:00:45,240 --> 00:00:48,239
Speaker 1: I assume if she mustered up everything to go to

16
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,720
Speaker 1: him to tell him, she had to at least be

17
00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,360
Speaker 1: sure of herself.

18
00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,960
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, You're not like going with me.

19
00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:56,880
Speaker 3: She probably did it well, she would she have done

20
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:57,920
Speaker 3: a praterornity test.

21
00:00:57,680 --> 00:00:58,560
Speaker 2: Already, Probably not.

22
00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,880
Speaker 1: I immediately ended the relationship and she moved home to

23
00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:02,560
Speaker 1: have the baby.

24
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:08,480
Speaker 3: Cool, great, happy ending, right, Everyone's happy, Everyone's happy.

25
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,200
Speaker 1: It crushed me, as this was totally out of the blue,

26
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,800
Speaker 1: and utterly unlike her, and she refused to provide many details,

27
00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:18,119
Speaker 1: and the whole situation just seemed vague and off. Recently,

28
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:22,160
Speaker 1: Rose's father passed away, and my mother attended the funeral.

29
00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:25,400
Speaker 1: While there, she commiserated Rose, who was there with her

30
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:28,280
Speaker 1: husband and her daughter too, who, according to my mother,

31
00:01:28,560 --> 00:01:32,000
Speaker 1: is visibly biracial and has a striking resemblance to me,

32
00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,320
Speaker 1: is most likely Op's kid.

33
00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:38,679
Speaker 2: It's looking like it, but she said it.

34
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,280
Speaker 3: Wasn't, so she did she lie to get full custody

35
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,880
Speaker 3: of the kid. And She's like, oh, you'd be a

36
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:45,680
Speaker 3: terrible father.

37
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:50,160
Speaker 1: She gave us the plot twist. Whoa wild tar? Never happened?

38
00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:56,440
Speaker 2: History? Has this ever happened? Whoa smart?

39
00:01:56,720 --> 00:02:01,400
Speaker 3: We are in a territory? Some fun four D reverse?

40
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,520
Speaker 3: Oh no reverse chess upside down? Checkers move and I'm

41
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,000
Speaker 3: seeing I'm here to see who gets checkmate? Oh okay,

42
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,400
Speaker 3: how do I even begin to bring this up with her?

43
00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:13,280
Speaker 3: I feel like I have to, but I have no

44
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,480
Speaker 3: idea where to even start. You start with a paternity deest.

45
00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:18,560
Speaker 3: You steal a little bit of your kids spit, make

46
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,240
Speaker 3: them pee in a cup or something, and then you

47
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,880
Speaker 3: send that over to the scientist. You're like, hey, I

48
00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,120
Speaker 3: got some kids, spit. Can you analyze this? That's the

49
00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:27,239
Speaker 3: main Maybe that's a way.

50
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,880
Speaker 1: I also feel like I've moved on enough to be

51
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,840
Speaker 1: ready for closure and to actually address this whole matter

52
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:35,760
Speaker 1: with Rose. Breakup that happened in such a rush, and

53
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,200
Speaker 1: she moved away before I felt I was able to

54
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,520
Speaker 1: address the topic in any kind of rational logical way.

55
00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:46,320
Speaker 1: And remember this is six years after the breakup, after

56
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,000
Speaker 1: the pregnancy.

57
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,320
Speaker 3: This is six years after the pregnancy happened. Wow, that's

58
00:02:50,600 --> 00:02:53,120
Speaker 3: that's a while, dude, that's a while. Yeah, do you

59
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,440
Speaker 3: even want to revisit it at that point, I'd say, no, dude.

60
00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,679
Speaker 3: I you know, like, just close that chapter, don't look

61
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,720
Speaker 3: any there, just keep on, keep it on.

62
00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:05,160
Speaker 2: Don't look at that box. I look at that box, dude,

63
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,680
Speaker 2: your kid might be in there. Yeah. A few moments later, Oh,

64
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:10,640
Speaker 2: do you put.

65
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:15,639
Speaker 3: A camera in your pee hole and then get video inside.

66
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:18,600
Speaker 1: The options are that she cheated on me and became

67
00:03:18,639 --> 00:03:21,720
Speaker 1: pregnant with someone else's child, she cheated on me and

68
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:24,320
Speaker 1: has lied to me about her pregnancy, or she just

69
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:27,000
Speaker 1: made up the whole scenario for some effing reason.

70
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,680
Speaker 2: The answer is Cee see. Yeah, we don't know the reason.

71
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,480
Speaker 3: I mean that is true reason, but the answer is

72
00:03:32,520 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 3: see the answer is see the answer cee for sure.

73
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,320
Speaker 2: Edit. Rose just got in touch with me.

74
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:40,120
Speaker 1: She asked my mother for my phone number and texted

75
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:41,920
Speaker 1: me to ask whether I would be free for a

76
00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:44,839
Speaker 1: call with her this week. I passed on my condolences

77
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:46,960
Speaker 1: for her father, and I told her to call me

78
00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:49,920
Speaker 1: anytime this week outside of work hours. And then there's

79
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,680
Speaker 1: some relevant comment. So we're going to get into an update.

80
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,560
Speaker 1: But we got some relevant comments we want to look through.

81
00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,720
Speaker 1: First from fun Yellow six five sixty seven. You do

82
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,080
Speaker 1: nothing all caps if you do not want to be

83
00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:03,400
Speaker 1: a dad. Rose didn't want the child to be yours.

84
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,880
Speaker 1: Leave it be OPI responds, It's been six years and

85
00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:09,760
Speaker 1: I've grown up a lot. I respect that this child

86
00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,000
Speaker 1: has another father figure in their life at this point.

87
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,880
Speaker 1: But for example, I have adopted cousins who have gone

88
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,960
Speaker 1: looking for their biological parents with full respect to their

89
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:21,080
Speaker 1: adoptive parents and found it very rewarding. I guess I

90
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,400
Speaker 1: want to make sure Rose knows if her child ever

91
00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,360
Speaker 1: wants to speak to me, I am open to it. Ideally,

92
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,039
Speaker 1: my family would like to know their first grandchild in

93
00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:31,520
Speaker 1: the future, the child would like to know her culture.

94
00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:34,280
Speaker 1: If I ever have children, I would want them to

95
00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:35,960
Speaker 1: know about their half sister. O.

96
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,400
Speaker 2: Does OPI have a kid? No? No, no.

97
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:39,159
Speaker 3: If I ever have children, I would want them to

98
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,360
Speaker 3: know by my half sister R, which is made possibly

99
00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:41,720
Speaker 3: this kid.

100
00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,559
Speaker 1: Right. At a minimum, Rose never gave me the chance

101
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,080
Speaker 1: to change my mind the way she changed hers, because

102
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,600
Speaker 1: he said he never wanted he didn't want to have

103
00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,640
Speaker 1: a kid. Yes, and she might have chosen to lie

104
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,640
Speaker 1: to me about cheating on me and genuinely shook up

105
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,040
Speaker 1: how I deal with to relationships for a long time.

106
00:04:58,360 --> 00:04:59,320
Speaker 2: That is a great point.

107
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,640
Speaker 1: I mean, if that's kind of like a crazy scenario

108
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,960
Speaker 1: to go through, you know your girls, like, Hey, I

109
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,800
Speaker 1: cheated with someone I had a kid.

110
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,840
Speaker 3: And like, how are you sure like that? That's what

111
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:11,480
Speaker 3: I would ask.

112
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, we never we never got the tests. Yeah.

113
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 3: And maybe op was so happy that he didn't have

114
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:18,200
Speaker 3: to deal with a kid that he didn't look any

115
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:18,800
Speaker 3: further at that time.

116
00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and was just so shook basically yea.

117
00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,440
Speaker 1: A commenter asks about looking from the ex perspective and

118
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:29,120
Speaker 1: allowing her to have choices, Opie, I do understand that's

119
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,000
Speaker 1: her perspective. She was put in a position where perhaps

120
00:05:32,080 --> 00:05:34,400
Speaker 1: she could only see options that hurt me and her

121
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,400
Speaker 1: and the child, or options that only hurt me. Maybe

122
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:40,960
Speaker 1: that is the case. Maybe she chose the best of

123
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,279
Speaker 1: a bad set of options, but she still hurt me

124
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:45,640
Speaker 1: and lied to me and hid my own child from me.

125
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,159
Speaker 1: And I think being hurt and confused and looking for

126
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,080
Speaker 1: answers is still a valid response. If she had been

127
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,560
Speaker 1: honest with me, she could have opened up in the

128
00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,520
Speaker 1: same place, with a new partner, with a lovely little daughter,

129
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:59,479
Speaker 1: living where she pleased, and with a bit of support

130
00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:03,080
Speaker 1: finance or otherwise from a version of me that wasn't

131
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:06,080
Speaker 1: in therapy for two years over the things that she

132
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,280
Speaker 1: lied to me about. Now we're about to get into

133
00:06:08,279 --> 00:06:10,800
Speaker 1: the update. But I just had a theory as to

134
00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:13,200
Speaker 1: maybe why she didn't tell Ope.

135
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:15,560
Speaker 3: I think it's I think it's just you know, you

136
00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,599
Speaker 3: don't think it's because he said he didn't want kids.

137
00:06:18,839 --> 00:06:20,839
Speaker 3: She got pregnant, and she's like, oh, he doesn't want kids,

138
00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,200
Speaker 3: so I'm just going to run away and not have.

139
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,159
Speaker 2: To deal with the conversation.

140
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:26,919
Speaker 1: Also, I mean the question is because op said the

141
00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:29,240
Speaker 1: kid was biracial. So who, I don't know what all

142
00:06:29,279 --> 00:06:31,480
Speaker 1: the races of all the three players are. Is it

143
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:35,240
Speaker 1: like a racism thing, possibly that, or like her just

144
00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,760
Speaker 1: like trying to hide Opee from the baby daddy, which

145
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,640
Speaker 1: is kind of what you said originally, like that she

146
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:42,680
Speaker 1: just wanted to run.

147
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:45,400
Speaker 2: We're kind of thinking the baby like, ohp is the

148
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:46,280
Speaker 2: baby daddy?

149
00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:49,719
Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yes, but the guy that maybe she she

150
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,760
Speaker 1: convinced the other guy that he was the baby daddy

151
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:55,599
Speaker 1: and didn't want Ope getting in the way.

152
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,280
Speaker 3: Oh right, remember that story that we read where it

153
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,880
Speaker 3: was like she always looking up with a bunch of

154
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,320
Speaker 3: people and she just kind of wanted to choose the

155
00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:02,839
Speaker 3: best one.

156
00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:05,720
Speaker 2: To raise the one. Yeah, the three dad story.

157
00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe maybe she's like, let me do something

158
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:11,200
Speaker 1: that will get op like out of my life now,

159
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:13,480
Speaker 1: so I can just move on with this other guy,

160
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:14,400
Speaker 1: and I don't want.

161
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,800
Speaker 2: You to be a father eligible bachelor.

162
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,880
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll see updates. Lots of people were asking for

163
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:22,320
Speaker 1: an update, So here we go. The kid is one

164
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,320
Speaker 1: hundred percent mine. I'm going to call her Daisy.

165
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:28,600
Speaker 2: For this post. WHOA Okay, so we know I guess,

166
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:29,320
Speaker 2: so I guess.

167
00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,720
Speaker 1: So I've met her a few times, and she's a

168
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,360
Speaker 1: really cute and lovely kid.

169
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:34,960
Speaker 2: Wow. Okay, so we're already on a meeting.

170
00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,840
Speaker 1: I am enjoying getting to know her, although of course

171
00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:40,080
Speaker 1: I am sad that I missed out on so much

172
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:43,240
Speaker 1: of her developments and so many firsts. I'm also sad

173
00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,720
Speaker 1: that she hasn't had my influence as a father would

174
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:49,280
Speaker 1: hope to their child. For example, she understands some Polish

175
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,160
Speaker 1: because of her stepfather's family, whereas I grew up in

176
00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:54,880
Speaker 1: a house where elders spoke Creole. I wish she could

177
00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,480
Speaker 1: have been able to explore her heritage from birth, but

178
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: now she can choose whether she wants to do so,

179
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,360
Speaker 1: which is also exciting. She also strongly resembles me as

180
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,680
Speaker 1: a child, which is strange but nice. My mother says

181
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,160
Speaker 1: she's the spitting image of her aunt. So we have

182
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:13,040
Speaker 1: been showing Daisy some family photos, which she seems to enjoy.

183
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,480
Speaker 1: My ex Rose is doing a great job of raising her.

184
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,320
Speaker 1: I want to stress that Rose behaved badly in our relationship,

185
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,280
Speaker 1: but she is a wonderful mother, which I think is

186
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:27,280
Speaker 1: a pretty pretty mature separation of, you know, being objective

187
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,000
Speaker 1: on Opie's part.

188
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:31,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, trying to separate her into her different life stages

189
00:08:31,640 --> 00:08:32,440
Speaker 3: in different positions.

190
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, I'm going to be getting to know Daisy

191
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,480
Speaker 1: a bit better over time, with a view to having

192
00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,760
Speaker 1: her eventually spend summer or winter vacations with me if

193
00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,720
Speaker 1: she wishes to, when she is a little bit older.

194
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,160
Speaker 1: Rose and her husband are also going to bring her

195
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,520
Speaker 1: to meet my mom when they are in our hometown,

196
00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:50,320
Speaker 1: so Daisy can get to know her biological grandmother if

197
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,679
Speaker 1: she wants to. Rose is married to a very decent

198
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,800
Speaker 1: guy who clearly adores Daisy. To answer a question I

199
00:08:55,840 --> 00:08:58,440
Speaker 1: got in quite a few of my dms, the husband

200
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,720
Speaker 1: is white, Rose is white, and I am black, so.

201
00:09:03,240 --> 00:09:07,480
Speaker 2: That kind of ruins my theory. So it was.

202
00:09:07,559 --> 00:09:12,520
Speaker 1: Fairly obvious that Daisy was not his biological child. However,

203
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,240
Speaker 1: he is very obviously her dad. We are getting along

204
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,719
Speaker 1: well and he is supportive of.

205
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,760
Speaker 2: Me getting to know Daisy, which like he know that

206
00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:22,960
Speaker 2: he knew that it wasn't his kids.

207
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:24,960
Speaker 1: It seems like, yeah, I have to read a little

208
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:26,760
Speaker 1: bit between the lines here, but it seems like he

209
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:29,320
Speaker 1: knew that the kid wasn't biologically his.

210
00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:32,079
Speaker 2: And maybe they got into a relationship after she had

211
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:32,520
Speaker 2: the baby.

212
00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:34,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, because and yeah, it seems to be the

213
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:38,320
Speaker 1: same guy from that point. Now the hard part. Rose

214
00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:42,319
Speaker 1: has apologized repeatedly for her actions. She says she did

215
00:09:42,360 --> 00:09:45,560
Speaker 1: not cheat on me, and I have come to believe her. However,

216
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,720
Speaker 1: the lie still hurts. She has explained that this is

217
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:51,480
Speaker 1: something that weighed heavily on her and she knew she

218
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,160
Speaker 1: would address it eventually. I have not forgiven her, but

219
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,680
Speaker 1: we are moving past it as best we can. We

220
00:09:56,720 --> 00:09:59,679
Speaker 1: are both in therapy and considering doing some therapy as

221
00:09:59,679 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 1: a un to make sure we are healthy co parents

222
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,800
Speaker 1: for Daisy. I have called her out and will continue

223
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,079
Speaker 1: to call her out. This has not been one conversation,

224
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:10,640
Speaker 1: but a long series of talks to understand one another's positions.

225
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 2: Her explanation was.

226
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,440
Speaker 1: That if I knew that she was pregnant and that

227
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,319
Speaker 1: the kid was mine, that I would have given up

228
00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:21,040
Speaker 1: on the life I wanted pursuing my dreams in order

229
00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,400
Speaker 1: to have supported her. Instead, she broke up with me

230
00:10:24,559 --> 00:10:27,520
Speaker 1: and moved home, where her father supported her until she

231
00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:28,160
Speaker 1: had Daisy.

232
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,760
Speaker 2: So she was like, I don't want you to give

233
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:30,640
Speaker 2: up on your dreams.

234
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:34,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, but like I could have just said that, but

235
00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:35,880
Speaker 1: I also understand that.

236
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,160
Speaker 2: He probably wouldn't like if he's like any any kind

237
00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:39,120
Speaker 2: of nice guy like.

238
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,920
Speaker 1: He'll probably start making those sacrifices anyways, So it is

239
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,240
Speaker 1: it is helpful to I think understand her perspective there

240
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:46,480
Speaker 1: and why she didn'tang.

241
00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:49,960
Speaker 3: Like, so she's almost doing it because she's for him, Yeah,

242
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,200
Speaker 3: for him, dang, so.

243
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:54,200
Speaker 2: Dang.

244
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,079
Speaker 1: Comment is right now, we're gonna we're gonna break this

245
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,840
Speaker 1: down at the end, so stick around to that.

246
00:10:57,920 --> 00:11:01,400
Speaker 2: But comment right now do you think Daisy did the

247
00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:02,520
Speaker 2: right cash money move?

248
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,319
Speaker 1: Was that the right thing that Rose did forp We'll talk,

249
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,040
Speaker 1: we'll break it down, but let us know what you

250
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:09,920
Speaker 1: think right now in the comments below. But for the

251
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,439
Speaker 1: sadness of this situation, I am in a good place

252
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:16,000
Speaker 1: in life now and relatively successful. Perhaps she is right

253
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,480
Speaker 1: that I would not have managed to do this if

254
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,480
Speaker 1: we'd had a baby at our young age, But I

255
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,679
Speaker 1: still wish she had given me the choice to say

256
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,200
Speaker 1: yes or no.

257
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:26,200
Speaker 3: However, what is done is done, I think would be

258
00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:28,960
Speaker 3: the right thing to do. I think like to lie

259
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000
Speaker 3: about that is I think the wrong thing to do,

260
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,679
Speaker 3: even though it was coming from a place that was

261
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,120
Speaker 3: somewhat selfless.

262
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, trying to help him. Yeah, there's some stuff I

263
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:40,959
Speaker 1: do not want to mention, even on an anonymous form

264
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,080
Speaker 1: like Reddit, which gives me further context and understanding for

265
00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:47,280
Speaker 1: Rose's actions. Apologies for the anti climax slash for leaving

266
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,280
Speaker 1: that out, but it wouldn't feel right. Rose and her

267
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:53,320
Speaker 1: husband are currently declining to accept child support from me, interesting,

268
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,720
Speaker 1: saying they earn enough.

269
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:55,640
Speaker 2: To raise Daisy without it.

270
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:58,440
Speaker 1: They have not made access to Daisy contingent in any

271
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:01,000
Speaker 1: way on money or anything else. I'm going to check

272
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,439
Speaker 1: with the lawyer to determine whether this is something they

273
00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,920
Speaker 1: will be able to pursue for in the future, and

274
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,400
Speaker 1: to explore the legalities of instead placing that money into

275
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,280
Speaker 1: a trust for Daisy to use as an adult or

276
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:15,360
Speaker 1: perhaps for college. That's a fantastic idea to give an idea.

277
00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:17,640
Speaker 1: Let Daisy become an adult and then let her decide

278
00:12:17,679 --> 00:12:19,160
Speaker 1: what she wants to do with it from there. And

279
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,480
Speaker 1: we do have some relevant comments that Opie answered.

280
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:21,720
Speaker 2: First.

281
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,120
Speaker 1: One is from Rogue twelve oh six. This sounds like

282
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,120
Speaker 1: you're handling all this beautifully. If I may make a suggestion,

283
00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:30,160
Speaker 1: even though they are declining the child support set the

284
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:33,559
Speaker 1: child support money aside into an account just for Daisy

285
00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,720
Speaker 1: when she is eighteen boom, one hell of a graduation gift,

286
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:41,079
Speaker 1: which man, could you image it? Yeah, like has another

287
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,160
Speaker 1: twelve years of putting into that.

288
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,560
Speaker 3: I know it would be like a couple thousand a

289
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 3: month maybe, like let's say like two thousand a month.

290
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,560
Speaker 1: Well not maybe, because remember we looked up the average

291
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:56,120
Speaker 1: child support was like five or nine hundred, five hundred Riley, right,

292
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,840
Speaker 1: and OPI's doing pretty well, right, Opie's doing pretty well.

293
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,800
Speaker 1: So let's say at least maybe five hundred plus something

294
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,840
Speaker 1: more than that. It would be like a thousand, two thousand.

295
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,520
Speaker 2: If we're going by the average.

296
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:09,079
Speaker 1: But it seems like like a thousand is like a

297
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,280
Speaker 1: pretty common, Like it's like at least a thousand basically

298
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:15,240
Speaker 1: if it's like fourteen and Sennessee twenty one in California. Like,

299
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,480
Speaker 1: we started an account for my daughter when she was born.

300
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,200
Speaker 1: It's an interest bearing account, so it will just grow

301
00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,600
Speaker 1: with her. It will either help her with her higher

302
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,480
Speaker 1: ed or a down payment on a house in eleven years,

303
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,280
Speaker 1: I hope. But it's at least something that's pretty huge.

304
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, op, great idea.

305
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:36,280
Speaker 1: I'm looking into establishing a trust in case anything, in

306
00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 1: case anything should happen to me in the next ten

307
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,360
Speaker 1: to fifteen years. But an interest bearing account is also

308
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:45,079
Speaker 1: a good thought. Highly agree. I will raise it with

309
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,480
Speaker 1: the lawyer at my consultation next week.

310
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:52,400
Speaker 3: Wow, so things ended in a weird place, but a

311
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:53,079
Speaker 3: good place.

312
00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,439
Speaker 2: A good weird place, good weird place, I would say.

313
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:59,920
Speaker 1: And I think we're still left with the big question

314
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:04,720
Speaker 1: and that we were teasing, which is, did Rose actually

315
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,640
Speaker 1: do a good thing in trying to look out for

316
00:14:07,720 --> 00:14:10,600
Speaker 1: op even if she lied about the baby.

317
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:14,400
Speaker 3: I think ultimately hiding that kind of information is bad.

318
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:14,840
Speaker 2: Yeah.

319
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:18,000
Speaker 3: I think what she did was wrong, even though her

320
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,480
Speaker 3: heart seems like it was in the right place one

321
00:14:20,520 --> 00:14:22,360
Speaker 3: hundred like she was trying to be like, No, I

322
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:24,480
Speaker 3: don't want him to ruin his life or whatever, but

323
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,600
Speaker 3: he he should. I think he should have gotten the

324
00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:28,080
Speaker 3: right to know.

325
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, he should have gotten the right to know, and

326
00:14:30,280 --> 00:14:33,400
Speaker 1: like again, the right to choose maybe maybe, And like

327
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:36,560
Speaker 1: also can you like, I guess someone could find a

328
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,400
Speaker 1: way to just like give you money, but you could

329
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:43,000
Speaker 1: just not spend it, right, Like what the like if

330
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:46,240
Speaker 1: if Rose is like, stop giving me money, I'm just

331
00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:49,760
Speaker 1: not even gonna touch it. You know, eventually, like if

332
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:52,600
Speaker 1: that's the snary that that would happen, Op, he would

333
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 1: probably clue and eventually and be like, all right, I

334
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 1: will focus on my stuff. Yeah, Like I feel like

335
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,320
Speaker 1: there was a way for Rose to accomplish the same

336
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,640
Speaker 1: thing with giving the knowledge. But he might have been like, no,

337
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,920
Speaker 1: I want custody of my kid or something. You know,

338
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:11,920
Speaker 1: that's that's true. Maybe maybe Rose was is leaning on

339
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,720
Speaker 1: that now. Maybe part of it, maybe also was that

340
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:19,200
Speaker 1: she was afraid that Ope would want and it seems

341
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:22,400
Speaker 1: like she didn't want to be with Op because.

342
00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:25,880
Speaker 3: She maybe stay with Yeah, maybe that's actually the reason the.

343
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,720
Speaker 2: Other guy is the father for all intents and purpose.

344
00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:30,720
Speaker 3: Maybe she was like, I don't want to be hitched

345
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,960
Speaker 3: to this guy for the rest of my life, but

346
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,080
Speaker 3: I'm pregnant.

347
00:15:33,760 --> 00:15:36,680
Speaker 2: With his baby. His baby? What? Yeah? What if she

348
00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:40,600
Speaker 2: literally was like I want to leave and then not pregnant.

349
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,040
Speaker 2: I got pregnant. Yeah, big conspiracies. I don't know.

350
00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,720
Speaker 3: What do you think, guys, is the actual reason? Put

351
00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,480
Speaker 3: your answers in the comments. But you know what, I

352
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,360
Speaker 3: want to reason for? What a reason for a living?

353
00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,280
Speaker 3: So I'm gonna read this next story.

354
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:54,320
Speaker 2: Let's get into it,