WEBVTT - Cheating Wives and Dry Sex Lives (S1 Ep10 "Move On") 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:03.360 Welcome to desperately devoted Join us as we explore the 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:07.119 human experience through the lens of the iconic show Desperate Housewives. 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:11.000 I'm Terry Hatcher, I'm Andrea Bowen, and I'm Emerson Tenny. 0:00:11.560 --> 0:00:15.080 Well, we have something to talk about in episode ten, and. 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:17.320 It's sex, sex and more sex. 0:00:18.000 --> 0:00:20.400 Some people aren't getting it from where they should be, 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:22.759 and some people aren't getting it at all. And some 0:00:22.840 --> 0:00:25.640 people could be getting it if they could only figure 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.200 out how to stop getting cock blocked by their ex. 0:00:28.280 --> 0:00:31.720 I'm gonna guess you're talking about Susan. I say. 0:00:33.040 --> 0:00:35.640 Rex is revealed to be having an S and M affair, 0:00:36.000 --> 0:00:40.000 while the affairs of the Scavo household involve their high 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:43.600 grade nanny, making Lynette feel inferior and unable to relax 0:00:43.680 --> 0:00:45.440 in her newly acquired free time. 0:00:45.920 --> 0:00:50.000 Susan and Mike's intimate intentions are foiled by Carl and 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:51.680 Julie and Zach. 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:56.640 Gabby ways the benefit of money over love and the 0:00:56.720 --> 0:01:00.800 truth and when trust is broken on Wisteria Elane, we 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:04.520 find that it is a very fragile thing. When it's lost, 0:01:04.720 --> 0:01:05.760 it can be hard to recover. 0:01:06.480 --> 0:01:08.960 We will not break our trust to you because we 0:01:09.000 --> 0:01:11.039 are here for another episode. 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:14.320 Let's get started, all right. 0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:17.479 Well, hi you guys. Hello, here we are talking about 0:01:17.520 --> 0:01:22.280 season one, episode ten, come Back to Me. This episode title, 0:01:22.360 --> 0:01:24.840 come back to Me, comes from a song from the 0:01:24.959 --> 0:01:28.520 nineteen sixty five musical On a clear Day, you can 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:33.759 see Forever, I can hear it. Yes, Mazy Gibbons. We 0:01:33.880 --> 0:01:36.200 open the episode on circling back. I feel like I 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:39.600 had kind of lost sight of her as the pretentious 0:01:39.959 --> 0:01:42.959 mom in the school, and now we find out that 0:01:43.040 --> 0:01:45.120 she's a BDSM escort. 0:01:45.959 --> 0:01:48.040 Okay, So I had a question for you because I 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:51.520 kind of did remember this storyline I remembered when we. 0:01:51.480 --> 0:01:52.880 Saw Sharon Morris. 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:53.520 Yeah. 0:01:54.800 --> 0:01:56.000 Yeah, what does that say about me? 0:01:56.440 --> 0:01:57.360 You were impressionable? 0:01:57.560 --> 0:02:00.559 Yes, I was very impressionable, But I did rememberer Sharon 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:04.120 Lawrence's storyline being more than just what it appeared when 0:02:04.120 --> 0:02:05.960 she first showed up on the show a few episodes ago. 0:02:06.440 --> 0:02:10.080 And so, but for you, Emerson, yes, you just probably 0:02:10.080 --> 0:02:12.040 thought she was going to be this high strung PTA 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:14.919 mom this the whole time if she ever reappeared, and 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:15.799 she came back in. 0:02:15.760 --> 0:02:18.040 A big way this episode. So did that catch you 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:18.520 off guard? 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:22.120 It totally caught me off guard and immediately hooked me. 0:02:22.160 --> 0:02:24.600 And I think honestly speaks to something we've been talking 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:27.320 about in a lot of themes of this episode, which 0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:31.080 is that there is always more going on behind closed doors. 0:02:31.120 --> 0:02:35.200 There's always another identity behind the mask that we present 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:38.200 to the world or the forward facing part of ourselves. 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:42.200 And I mean, I really took the roller coaster ride 0:02:42.200 --> 0:02:44.440 of this because at first I saw it was Mazy Gibbons, 0:02:44.480 --> 0:02:46.480 I go, oh, my god, Mazi Gibbons is an escort, 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:50.840 Oh my god, she's a BDSM escort, and then Rex 0:02:50.919 --> 0:02:54.880 is her client. Yeah. Ah. In the first couple of minutes. 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:57.880 Did you guys get the sense that she was just 0:02:58.120 --> 0:03:03.639 doing it for her own sort of power ego, control, 0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:06.880 satisfaction or were they actually paying her? 0:03:07.520 --> 0:03:07.680 Oh? 0:03:07.720 --> 0:03:09.160 I think that she was being paid. 0:03:09.320 --> 0:03:11.079 I thought she was being paid. I also felt like 0:03:11.120 --> 0:03:14.480 maybe because she talks about how she her husband maybe 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:17.119 lost his job and she they had to stop going 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.360 to their country club. So I felt like maybe this 0:03:19.560 --> 0:03:23.279 was something that she picked up partially to make money. 0:03:22.960 --> 0:03:25.600 Money, right, And yeah, I thought that too. But then 0:03:26.160 --> 0:03:29.200 as I thought about it and just kind of sat 0:03:29.240 --> 0:03:31.480 with it, I thought, oh, maybe I had made that assumption, 0:03:31.760 --> 0:03:33.760 but it was she because they do make the point 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.400 of saying that they were having financial trouble and they 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:38.840 got kicked out of the country club, and right, so 0:03:38.960 --> 0:03:41.000 that's why she decided to start doing this. 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:42.920 But I think it evolved. 0:03:42.400 --> 0:03:46.760 For her at least, you know, we when character analyzing her. 0:03:46.840 --> 0:03:49.720 I think that you're right that the journey for her 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:53.840 maybe started with a need to bring in some extra 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.520 money and her creative way of doing that. But then 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.200 I think she gets off on the fact that she's 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:01.200 holding everyone. See it's as she says, there's like a 0:04:01.280 --> 0:04:03.800 power in it for her that she's keeping all of 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:05.720 these John's secrets. 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:09.720 Yeah, and especially the secret Rex feels extra loaded because 0:04:09.760 --> 0:04:11.760 she makes the comment that when she did get kicked 0:04:11.760 --> 0:04:15.440 out of the country club, we realize the woman who 0:04:15.720 --> 0:04:18.520 was condescending and sort of pitying to her was Brie, 0:04:19.120 --> 0:04:25.159 classic Brie. And now this is her idea of revenge 0:04:25.279 --> 0:04:26.280 or a secret of her own. 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:30.720 Do you guys have feelings about prostitution and its legality 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:35.120 and you know where it's place in history or whatever. 0:04:35.240 --> 0:04:40.040 I mean, I'll just admit that while it seems like, 0:04:40.440 --> 0:04:42.120 oh this is the I admit this is the time 0:04:42.160 --> 0:04:43.760 I tell you that I was a prostitute. No, I 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:47.800 just that word admit sounded so much stronger than. 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:48.520 I intended to be. 0:04:49.160 --> 0:04:50.239 This is when I reveal. 0:04:50.480 --> 0:04:56.920 This is when I reveal. But I I it didn't. 0:04:57.440 --> 0:04:58.400 It seemed you don't have. 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:02.480 This show does a great job at writing this tightrope 0:05:02.560 --> 0:05:09.360 of between like satire and soap and something that feels grounded, 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.120 and I think they usually do it really well, and 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:15.680 I felt like this is an example of that, and 0:05:16.279 --> 0:05:21.000 it made me, I don't know, feel like not that 0:05:21.200 --> 0:05:26.960 judgmental about her, like that she was providing a service 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:31.680 that everybody was above board. I mean, you could be 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:33.880 lying to your spouse, but I mean the people in 0:05:33.960 --> 0:05:39.440 the interaction, and it was servicing a need and it 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.760 was fulfilling what she needed. And I don't know, it 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:46.120 made me think about an industry that I guess I've 0:05:46.120 --> 0:05:49.240 always thought, you know, well that's not great and that's 0:05:49.240 --> 0:05:52.360 sort of frowned upon. But it made me look at 0:05:52.440 --> 0:05:53.719 it a little differently, well. 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:55.679 I think, I mean, I do. I think this stood 0:05:55.680 --> 0:05:57.520 out to me as a very I mean, we're thinking 0:05:57.560 --> 0:06:00.400 about the show airing in two thousand and four, stood 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:03.440 out to me as a very modern take on sex 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:05.719 work and the legitimacy of sex work. You know, this 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:07.960 is an industry that I think has had a lot 0:06:08.000 --> 0:06:11.719 of stigma, and of course, in certain scenarios, still does 0:06:11.760 --> 0:06:15.520 exist in a place where women are disempowered. But I 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:17.960 think in a lot of scenarios, especially when you like 0:06:18.080 --> 0:06:22.080 look at you know, technology today, and I think exists 0:06:22.120 --> 0:06:25.159 in a place where women are really actively choosing something 0:06:25.160 --> 0:06:26.080 that feels empowered. 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:30.680 What's the site where everybody's making a bazillion dollars? Right? 0:06:31.160 --> 0:06:33.000 Yeah, Oh my gosh. 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.400 I mean, I guess that's the modern day version of this, 0:06:35.560 --> 0:06:36.040 doesn't it. 0:06:36.120 --> 0:06:39.440 I do agree that in this episode we seem to 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:42.880 be the thing that's incriminating is the fact that she 0:06:43.040 --> 0:06:46.480 is having an affair with Bree's husband. It's not necessarily 0:06:46.480 --> 0:06:49.640 that we're judging her for doing this service or providing 0:06:49.640 --> 0:06:51.160 the service to the people in the neighborhood. 0:06:51.520 --> 0:06:53.640 We as an audience and the writers who wrote it. 0:06:54.240 --> 0:06:57.240 The thing that fuels our fire about having an opinion 0:06:57.240 --> 0:06:59.600 over it is just because she's wronging Brie. 0:07:00.279 --> 0:07:02.360 I don't really have an opinion. I mean, I don't 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:05.960 have any judgment of her. I'm judgmental of Rex. He's 0:07:06.000 --> 0:07:07.920 the one who's married, who's making the choice. 0:07:09.520 --> 0:07:12.800 Like when there's an affair, and the one that's getting 0:07:12.880 --> 0:07:17.560 cheated on seems to classically direct their ire at the 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:21.760 female instead of the actual husband partner that is doing 0:07:21.760 --> 0:07:22.240 the cheating. 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:23.600 And I've never understood that. 0:07:23.680 --> 0:07:26.040 I know, Yeah, I know, And I was just going 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.920 to say that I'm infuriated because, as we talked about 0:07:28.960 --> 0:07:32.360 a couple of episodes ago, when Bree so bravely and 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:35.240 vulnerably goes to Rex and says, I can tell that 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:38.000 there's something you're not getting, and please give me the 0:07:38.040 --> 0:07:41.120 opportunity to provide that to you, and he doesn't, and 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:44.120 now we see it playing out like this, and it 0:07:44.240 --> 0:07:44.800 just makes me. 0:07:44.760 --> 0:07:45.360 So mad at me. 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:48.040 I know, I actually wrote down, Oh my gosh, Rex 0:07:48.160 --> 0:07:51.640 is such a gas lighter when he says, oh, I 0:07:51.640 --> 0:07:54.880 could never tell Brie. I could never tell my wife 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.040 about these things that I want to explore that clearly 0:07:57.080 --> 0:08:01.120 he's exploring with Mazie, and I thought, no, you could. 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:05.000 She held the door open episodes ago for you to 0:08:05.080 --> 0:08:08.040 tell her if something was missing. She point blank said, 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.760 is something missing? I want to give that to you, 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:14.120 and he was too much of a coward to reveal 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:16.680 that part of himself to her, which I do think. 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:20.000 You know, I think there's a lot of vulnerability in 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:25.000 admitting a kink or admitting something that you want to explore, 0:08:25.040 --> 0:08:28.840 specifically sexually, because I think it opens the door up 0:08:28.880 --> 0:08:32.679 to be rejected and to be judged in a way 0:08:32.720 --> 0:08:35.880 that there's already so much taboo around sex. To then 0:08:36.240 --> 0:08:40.280 receive that immediate judgment from your partner may make someone 0:08:40.480 --> 0:08:43.679 like Rex just feel like they absolutely couldn't withstand the rejection. 0:08:43.840 --> 0:08:48.400 And to Mazy's credit, she actually very much is sympathetic 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:51.280 to breathe. I felt right. She talks to Rex and says, 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:53.480 you should talk to your wife about this. 0:08:53.880 --> 0:08:56.120 You clearly still are in love with her. I thought 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:56.960 that was really interesting. 0:08:57.080 --> 0:08:57.760 Yeah you did too. 0:08:58.200 --> 0:08:59.679 I was going to say, like, I'm not going to 0:08:59.720 --> 0:09:02.200 ask anybody to like divulge their kink. 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:05.200 Or you have to use your special voice. Oh I 0:09:05.280 --> 0:09:05.800 do have to do. 0:09:06.160 --> 0:09:07.040 So what do you like? 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:09.800 But I will say. 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:16.920 About myself, I mean, you know, I haven't been intimate 0:09:17.080 --> 0:09:20.559 in a long time, and you know, of course I've 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.120 done years of therapy to sort of, you know, figure 0:09:23.120 --> 0:09:26.520 out what I could potentially be afraid of. But it's like, 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:30.760 when there's a story like this, it does make me think, like, 0:09:32.440 --> 0:09:36.640 have I felt safe enough with a partner too? I 0:09:36.679 --> 0:09:38.720 don't know, be able to be honest, Like, is that 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:43.360 something that people typically feel or I think maybe sadly 0:09:43.480 --> 0:09:45.199 they maybe don't. Right. 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.439 Yeah, I think in a lot of cases, in a 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.360 lot of relationships, it's still a real thing that people 0:09:50.400 --> 0:09:53.360 aren't entirely open with one another out of fear of 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.240 judgment or just maybe they have a lot of self 0:09:56.320 --> 0:09:58.240 judgment about the things that they're into and they are 0:09:58.280 --> 0:10:00.920 scared to share that with someone else. Society is not 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.600 always on the side of making us all feel included, 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:08.160 and so I think it's still a problem. But I 0:10:08.559 --> 0:10:10.520 also kind of feel like I'm getting the sense from 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:12.240 younger generations that it's getting better. 0:10:12.679 --> 0:10:14.680 I have to say, I think a show that just 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:19.440 recently really handled this idea so well and explored it 0:10:19.600 --> 0:10:22.839 was dying for sex, That TV show with Michelle Willis right. 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.600 I loved that show. They were great, and you're. 0:10:25.520 --> 0:10:29.080 Right, yeah, And so many different characters, whether obviously it's 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:32.439 Michelle Williams herself or character actors like Robbie Hoffman, who 0:10:32.600 --> 0:10:36.840 I adore all of these different actors and characters playing 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:39.400 out in this show, the idea of the vulnerability it 0:10:39.440 --> 0:10:42.640 takes to really say I want to investigate what turns 0:10:42.640 --> 0:10:44.440 me on and what sex means to me. 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:48.440 And now that show was That show was actually brilliant 0:10:48.480 --> 0:10:50.800 and I and I loved it, I think specifically for 0:10:50.880 --> 0:10:54.920 me because yeah, I felt like it kind of broadened 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:58.120 what I could imagine my ability might be if I 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.440 ever got into an intimate, really relationship with somebody again, 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:03.560 which you know, other than my cat. 0:11:03.800 --> 0:11:04.800 Away moving on. 0:11:06.200 --> 0:11:10.400 Yeah, so so also after this discovery of his affair, 0:11:10.640 --> 0:11:14.160 and by the way, did anybody think the stilettos were 0:11:14.200 --> 0:11:16.760 going to go right into his spine when she walks 0:11:16.800 --> 0:11:17.400 on his back? 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:20.640 I just kept thinking out, yeah, out, well, I think, 0:11:20.720 --> 0:11:22.319 my gosh, that's what he liked. 0:11:22.400 --> 0:11:25.200 Yes, I thought, like, not just the pain, but like 0:11:25.240 --> 0:11:28.040 it to me, it felt like they were going how 0:11:28.080 --> 0:11:30.040 did they not puncture alung? 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:30.520 Like? 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:32.960 That's well, but maybe they did. 0:11:33.040 --> 0:11:35.800 I mean, that's true. He did have a heart attack. 0:11:36.160 --> 0:11:38.320 He did have to have surgery, right, they pick up 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:39.080 that that's where. 0:11:38.920 --> 0:11:42.280 It came from. Okay, So then we go to Gabby. 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:45.560 And Carlos and all of the ladies supporting him in 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:49.200 court finding out that he's not going to get bail 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:51.240 because he doesn't have his passport and. 0:11:51.800 --> 0:11:54.320 He's a light risk, I guess, And I thought, oh. 0:11:54.200 --> 0:11:58.360 My god, who misplaces their passport? Like, that's my worst 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:01.320 fear that I lose a passport or on a trip, 0:12:01.600 --> 0:12:03.480 that I can't find it in my house. And it 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:06.719 feels I mean, and I think will ultimately potentially come 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:10.120 to be revealed, but it feels suspicious that you can't 0:12:10.160 --> 0:12:12.400 find your passport in your own house. 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.480 Right, And in this case, it ends up being hidden 0:12:15.480 --> 0:12:16.280 in a secret panel. 0:12:16.440 --> 0:12:19.960 Yes, so awfully convenient, but he can't find it. 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:24.320 You have Lynette, who now this is the first episode 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:27.680 where she scored in the last episode the high Grade Nanny. Yes, 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:32.240 she's got the new nanny. She's now got some free time. 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:37.280 I actually kind of remember this. I mean, I just 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:41.920 remember feeling how difficult it was as a mom to 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:45.600 take time for myself, even when I had a support 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:48.000 system in place to allow me to do that. 0:12:48.360 --> 0:12:49.800 Why was that? Did you feel guilty? 0:12:50.000 --> 0:12:52.680 Did you feel guilt? I think it's guilt. I think also, 0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:57.679 I think you get very wrapped up in your identity 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:01.400 as a mom, so much so that you forget how 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:02.760 to just be you. 0:13:02.760 --> 0:13:04.079 You forget how to. 0:13:05.920 --> 0:13:11.000 Walk walk out into the world and not be seen 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.800 as a mom carrying a baby, or a mom holding 0:13:13.800 --> 0:13:16.240 the hand of a toddler, or a mom picking up 0:13:16.240 --> 0:13:18.760 goldfish off the ground or a mom wiping you know, 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:23.240 yogurt off of a off of a shirt like this 0:13:23.320 --> 0:13:25.360 is how you interact with the world and then to 0:13:25.440 --> 0:13:29.839 suddenly go, Okay, I'm gonna go just be myself. 0:13:30.760 --> 0:13:33.440 It's it's just the story. 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:38.200 It's disorienting and it's unpracticed, and as a mom about 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:43.440 to be in hindsight, I would encourage young moms to 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:49.120 not let that happen, you know, to find time to continue, 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:52.520 even if it's little amounts of time, to continue to 0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:55.160 have a sense of your identity that is separate. 0:13:55.240 --> 0:13:57.280 You know, this is making me think of something so 0:13:57.720 --> 0:14:01.319 interesting and relevant to not only the conversation we're having, 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:04.440 but also the fact that we are involving this show 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.040 Desperate Housewives, because I recently had dinner with Joy who 0:14:08.080 --> 0:14:12.280 played Marsha's daughter, Yes, who played Danielle, and she is 0:14:12.400 --> 0:14:16.120 a new mom, and we were talking obviously about this 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:18.120 chapter of my life, in this chapter of her life, 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:21.000 and she basically said that same thing to me. She said, 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:23.440 this is not I don't know if you're going to 0:14:23.520 --> 0:14:25.440 hear this advice a lot, and I don't even know 0:14:25.480 --> 0:14:27.560 if it's popular advice. I think she actually said it 0:14:27.680 --> 0:14:31.680 is unpopular advice from her experience, but that she feels 0:14:31.720 --> 0:14:37.480 it's really important to leave early on, like practice leaving 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:41.120 your baby earlier than you think, earlier than you feel 0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:43.840 ready to, and earlier than maybe someone else should tell you, 0:14:43.840 --> 0:14:46.520 know tells you you should because of that, because of 0:14:46.560 --> 0:14:51.440 the feeling of it's very hard and disorienting to take 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.480 that identity off, even though you never really do. 0:14:54.560 --> 0:14:56.920 But and I appreciated it. 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.440 I actually made a note as well about this particular thing, 0:14:59.480 --> 0:15:01.480 and I said, I so appreciate the writers giving this 0:15:01.520 --> 0:15:04.880 amount of thought to the struggle and often opposing feelings 0:15:04.880 --> 0:15:07.480 that come from being in your house with your children. 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:08.720 And out of your house without your children. 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:12.640 It's like Lynette clearly was begging for support and begging 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:15.080 for the opportunity to have some time to herself, and 0:15:15.120 --> 0:15:18.400 then when she gets it, she's totally paralyzed. She doesn't 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:20.280 know what to do. So she has that scene with breathe. 0:15:20.280 --> 0:15:23.640 That's really interesting, And yeah, I thought that was cool 0:15:23.680 --> 0:15:26.960 that our writers were giving such a well rounded example 0:15:27.160 --> 0:15:28.640 of the complications of parenting. 0:15:28.920 --> 0:15:32.400 I think sometimes in the pursuit of being like the 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:42.280 perfect mom, you forget that by demonstrating imperfection, you're actually 0:15:42.360 --> 0:15:46.920 allowing your child to unconsciously understand that they don't have 0:15:46.960 --> 0:15:51.400 to be perfect in this essence of leaving, you know, 0:15:52.520 --> 0:15:57.200 having your child see you take care of yourself is 0:15:57.560 --> 0:16:00.960 unconsciously telling them that they are worthy of taking care 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:05.800 of themselves. And it's a tricky thing because no mom 0:16:05.960 --> 0:16:09.240 is running around trying to be perfect, giving, giving, given, giving, 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.280 never making any time for herself because she's trying to 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:16.800 do damage on the kid. But it is kind of 0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:20.920 a byproduct that if they don't see you practice your 0:16:21.000 --> 0:16:24.120 self care, they don't know where to learn that from. 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:37.720 Right question though, for you and all this fantastic parenting advice, yes, nanny. 0:16:37.480 --> 0:16:39.360 Cam oh, yes or nay? 0:16:39.640 --> 0:16:39.920 Okay? 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:45.520 Well, well yes, so I think I think nanny cam yay. 0:16:45.760 --> 0:16:48.800 And you know I recently because you guys know that 0:16:48.920 --> 0:16:50.680 I take care of my ninety year old parents. 0:16:50.800 --> 0:16:52.240 Yes, I put. 0:16:53.720 --> 0:16:59.840 Nana Cams granted cam grannycams. I put grannycams, and because 0:17:00.160 --> 0:17:03.680 I every night when I get in bed, my house 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:06.560 is like down the street. But I look at the 0:17:06.680 --> 0:17:09.639 ring camera and I can see what time they went 0:17:09.720 --> 0:17:12.600 to sleep, if they went to sleep. I can see 0:17:13.000 --> 0:17:15.399 if I get like an alert from the alarm company. 0:17:15.520 --> 0:17:18.760 I can see if my parents just forgot and opened 0:17:18.800 --> 0:17:21.200 the door, or if, like God forbid, there was a 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:21.600 break in. 0:17:22.240 --> 0:17:24.919 But it gives me a lot of peace. 0:17:25.280 --> 0:17:28.440 And it was actually how when my mom was in 0:17:28.520 --> 0:17:31.840 the hospital and I couldn't get a caregiver for my dad, 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:35.560 who has dementia, and he forgot that he had already 0:17:35.600 --> 0:17:37.960 taken his pills because he has dementia, and he took 0:17:38.040 --> 0:17:41.680 them all a second time. I witnessed that on the 0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.359 ring camera and was able to call the doctor and 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.920 make sure that we had the right help in case 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:49.560 my dad got sick from doubling up on pills. 0:17:50.119 --> 0:17:54.040 And so I love the ring camera. 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.760 Proing, but I think, you know, if you're going to 0:17:57.840 --> 0:17:59.840 have one, I think you have to approach it with 0:18:00.320 --> 0:18:04.280 respecting privacy. Like I'm not trying to invade my parents' privacy. 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.960 I'm trying to give them as much independence as I can, 0:18:07.760 --> 0:18:10.240 but still keep them safe, right, and so that is 0:18:10.320 --> 0:18:11.840 the way in which I use it. 0:18:12.280 --> 0:18:16.280 I think I had the same question. I'm curious to 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:19.320 hear your thoughts as well, Emerson. I think that when 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:23.120 it comes to nanny cams, I think that as long 0:18:23.240 --> 0:18:28.160 as you disclose that someone's being recorded inside your home, 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:33.560 then I guess it's okay. I don't have any I 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:37.240 don't know if I have plans to have a camera inside, 0:18:38.160 --> 0:18:41.040 you know, that my house when it comes to assistance 0:18:41.119 --> 0:18:44.560 with the baby and things like that. I did find 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:48.000 the montage where Lynette is holding the little bear that 0:18:48.080 --> 0:18:50.119 she's stashed the camera in, and she's doing all of 0:18:50.200 --> 0:18:53.040 the different ideas, playing all of them out of like 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:56.199 and loving, a loving nanny rocking the bear, and then 0:18:56.560 --> 0:18:59.680 a crazy nanny like shaking the bear. I thought that 0:18:59.720 --> 0:19:00.720 was a very very very. 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:01.480 Funny and well done. 0:19:02.200 --> 0:19:06.160 But yeah, I think I get uncomfortable with just cameras 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.440 in the world in general these days, Like I buck 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:10.920 up against the fact that it's kind of impossible to 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:13.760 walk down the street and not have someone recording something, 0:19:14.280 --> 0:19:16.200 and you just happen to be in the background of 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.040 someone's video and you don't consent to that, and you know, 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:21.160 or like I am aware of it if I'm doing 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.520 it and there's someone and I'm thinking, well, they're now 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.520 just on my phone and I don't know them, and 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.160 they didn't say that was okay, And that's just kind 0:19:28.160 --> 0:19:30.639 of everywhere. So maybe I take too I give it 0:19:30.720 --> 0:19:32.600 too much thought, and I get too trapped in this 0:19:32.720 --> 0:19:36.600 idea of it's not respectful of someone else's privacy. So 0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:39.399 I think the big thing of disclosing, hey, you're on 0:19:39.800 --> 0:19:40.720 candid camera. 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:45.000 I we never had one like with for you, Yeah, 0:19:45.160 --> 0:19:45.879 I never had one. 0:19:46.080 --> 0:19:49.560 Are you pro nannycam or anti nannycam or somewhere in between. 0:19:49.840 --> 0:19:53.200 I think I fall on your side, Andrew. I know 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:55.159 that I didn't grow up with a nanny cam. I 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:59.399 do feel weird about invading someone else's privacy, but I 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:02.960 also like when it comes to my future children and 0:20:03.920 --> 0:20:07.400 knowing what is going on with them. I think disclosing 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:09.720 you know, just you know, we have cameras in our 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:13.200 house and working here means that you may be filmed 0:20:14.240 --> 0:20:17.080 while you're here. I think that is feels like the 0:20:17.119 --> 0:20:19.680 best of both worlds, where you are able to monitor things. 0:20:20.000 --> 0:20:22.240 Maybe you also have a sense of like if you 0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:25.280 were the nanny, you have a sense of self censorship 0:20:25.359 --> 0:20:27.359 if you think that you're being viewed. I mean, I 0:20:27.400 --> 0:20:30.919 hope you wouldn't do anything even if you weren't being watched. 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:33.760 But sometimes that does, you know, make people think twice 0:20:33.760 --> 0:20:35.600 about their response or behavior to things. 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:38.000 Speaking of wanting to know what's going on with your 0:20:38.040 --> 0:20:40.240 kid in the house, then that kind of leads us 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:41.560 into Susan and Julie. 0:20:41.800 --> 0:20:45.720