Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,
Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's
Speaker 1: tip is that when you are asked to do something
Speaker 1: that isn't ideal for you and you don't want to
Speaker 1: just say no, consider proposing an alternative. Saying how about
Speaker 1: this instead can often accomplish whatever the original request was,
Speaker 1: but in a way that you will be much happier with.
Speaker 1: So sometimes we all receive requests that are appealing on
Speaker 1: some level but don't work on another. You might be
Speaker 1: invited for lunch on a day you know work will
Speaker 1: be incredibly busy, or to go with a friend to
Speaker 1: get a pedicure, but you don't like anyone touching your feet.
Speaker 1: You want the time with the friends, but not in
Speaker 1: a pedicure chair. Or maybe you are asked to serve
Speaker 1: on the gala committee for a nonprofit you really do
Speaker 1: care about and you want to support the nonprofit, but
Speaker 1: not in that way. I know we have all been
Speaker 1: taught that no is a complete sentence, but no is
Speaker 1: not necessarily fun to say or hear, especially if you
Speaker 1: do want to preserve or strengthen the relationship. The good
Speaker 1: news is that even If you can't say yes, you
Speaker 1: might not need to say no. Sometimes it's nicer to
Speaker 1: ask how about this instead? Maybe a milestone birthday is
Speaker 1: coming up and you really don't want any more candles
Speaker 1: or silly t shirts making jokes about turning forty or
Speaker 1: fifty or whatever it is. You could say no gifts please,
Speaker 1: but people will probably bring a gift anyway. You may
Speaker 1: be more successful if you suggest what people can do instead.
Speaker 1: The invitation could say, if you'd like to honor Jane
Speaker 1: with a gift, please consider making a contribution to the
Speaker 1: library where she has volunteered since her last milestone birthday.
Speaker 1: Or if you would like to honor Jane with a gift,
Speaker 1: please write her a note offering your hope for her fifties.
Speaker 1: If your child asks for ice cream on a day
Speaker 1: when dessert is not the norm, you don't have to
Speaker 1: insist we don't have dessert on Mondays. You could simply
Speaker 1: offer yogurt with blueberries or a frozen banana instead. If
Speaker 1: a friend invites you to do something you can't do
Speaker 1: or don't want to do, propose an alternative date to
Speaker 1: activity for spending time with her right away. I can't
Speaker 1: do a pedicure on Saturday afternoon, but what about a
Speaker 1: walk on Saturday morning, or coffee or breakfast. I could
Speaker 1: also make Tuesday work. Relatedly, if someone asks you to
Speaker 1: help and you can't offer help in the way they requested,
Speaker 1: consider offering a different way that you could assist. If
Speaker 1: a client asks you to do a project on a
Speaker 1: timeline that won't work for you, let them know what
Speaker 1: time line would work for you and see if that
Speaker 1: works for them, or you could suggest another person with
Speaker 1: more immediate availability. Of course, this does not mean you
Speaker 1: need to solve every problem that's brought to your attention,
Speaker 1: but when you don't want to say no, you may
Speaker 1: not have to. If you frame your response right, you
Speaker 1: can avoid saying new to yourself as well. If you are, say,
Speaker 1: reducing your alcohol consumption, have an appealing non alcoholic beverage,
Speaker 1: perhaps in a pretty glass. Not drinking wine doesn't mean
Speaker 1: you have to drink water. You could have a flavored
Speaker 1: seltzer and a champagne flute. We are wise not to
Speaker 1: say yes to everything, of course, but will often be
Speaker 1: happier if we suggest another option instead of just saying no.
Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening and
Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for
Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,
Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.
Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts
Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.