WEBVTT - How about this instead?

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is that when you are asked to do something

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<v Speaker 1>that isn't ideal for you and you don't want to

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<v Speaker 1>just say no, consider proposing an alternative. Saying how about

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<v Speaker 1>this instead can often accomplish whatever the original request was,

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<v Speaker 1>but in a way that you will be much happier with.

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<v Speaker 1>So sometimes we all receive requests that are appealing on

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<v Speaker 1>some level but don't work on another. You might be

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<v Speaker 1>invited for lunch on a day you know work will

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<v Speaker 1>be incredibly busy, or to go with a friend to

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<v Speaker 1>get a pedicure, but you don't like anyone touching your feet.

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<v Speaker 1>You want the time with the friends, but not in

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<v Speaker 1>a pedicure chair. Or maybe you are asked to serve

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<v Speaker 1>on the gala committee for a nonprofit you really do

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<v Speaker 1>care about and you want to support the nonprofit, but

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<v Speaker 1>not in that way. I know we have all been

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<v Speaker 1>taught that no is a complete sentence, but no is

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<v Speaker 1>not necessarily fun to say or hear, especially if you

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<v Speaker 1>do want to preserve or strengthen the relationship. The good

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<v Speaker 1>news is that even If you can't say yes, you

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<v Speaker 1>might not need to say no. Sometimes it's nicer to

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<v Speaker 1>ask how about this instead? Maybe a milestone birthday is

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<v Speaker 1>coming up and you really don't want any more candles

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<v Speaker 1>or silly t shirts making jokes about turning forty or

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<v Speaker 1>fifty or whatever it is. You could say no gifts please,

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<v Speaker 1>but people will probably bring a gift anyway. You may

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<v Speaker 1>be more successful if you suggest what people can do instead.

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<v Speaker 1>The invitation could say, if you'd like to honor Jane

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<v Speaker 1>with a gift, please consider making a contribution to the

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<v Speaker 1>library where she has volunteered since her last milestone birthday.

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<v Speaker 1>Or if you would like to honor Jane with a gift,

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<v Speaker 1>please write her a note offering your hope for her fifties.

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<v Speaker 1>If your child asks for ice cream on a day

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<v Speaker 1>when dessert is not the norm, you don't have to

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<v Speaker 1>insist we don't have dessert on Mondays. You could simply

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<v Speaker 1>offer yogurt with blueberries or a frozen banana instead. If

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<v Speaker 1>a friend invites you to do something you can't do

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<v Speaker 1>or don't want to do, propose an alternative date to

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<v Speaker 1>activity for spending time with her right away. I can't

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<v Speaker 1>do a pedicure on Saturday afternoon, but what about a

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<v Speaker 1>walk on Saturday morning, or coffee or breakfast. I could

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<v Speaker 1>also make Tuesday work. Relatedly, if someone asks you to

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<v Speaker 1>help and you can't offer help in the way they requested,

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<v Speaker 1>consider offering a different way that you could assist. If

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<v Speaker 1>a client asks you to do a project on a

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<v Speaker 1>timeline that won't work for you, let them know what

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<v Speaker 1>time line would work for you and see if that

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<v Speaker 1>works for them, or you could suggest another person with

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<v Speaker 1>more immediate availability. Of course, this does not mean you

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<v Speaker 1>need to solve every problem that's brought to your attention,

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<v Speaker 1>but when you don't want to say no, you may

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<v Speaker 1>not have to. If you frame your response right, you

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<v Speaker 1>can avoid saying new to yourself as well. If you are, say,

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<v Speaker 1>reducing your alcohol consumption, have an appealing non alcoholic beverage,

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<v Speaker 1>perhaps in a pretty glass. Not drinking wine doesn't mean

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<v Speaker 1>you have to drink water. You could have a flavored

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<v Speaker 1>seltzer and a champagne flute. We are wise not to

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<v Speaker 1>say yes to everything, of course, but will often be

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<v Speaker 1>happier if we suggest another option instead of just saying no.

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<v Speaker 1>In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening and

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<v Speaker 1>here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for

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<v Speaker 1>listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback,

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<v Speaker 1>you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com.

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<v Speaker 1>Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts

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<v Speaker 1>from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or

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<v Speaker 1>wherever you listen to your favorite shows.