1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:16,600 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:19,799 Speaker 1: tip is that when you are asked to do something 4 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,239 Speaker 1: that isn't ideal for you and you don't want to 5 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: just say no, consider proposing an alternative. Saying how about 6 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:33,839 Speaker 1: this instead can often accomplish whatever the original request was, 7 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,239 Speaker 1: but in a way that you will be much happier with. 8 00:00:40,159 --> 00:00:43,479 Speaker 1: So sometimes we all receive requests that are appealing on 9 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:47,440 Speaker 1: some level but don't work on another. You might be 10 00:00:47,479 --> 00:00:49,599 Speaker 1: invited for lunch on a day you know work will 11 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:52,559 Speaker 1: be incredibly busy, or to go with a friend to 12 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: get a pedicure, but you don't like anyone touching your feet. 13 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,440 Speaker 1: You want the time with the friends, but not in 14 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,840 Speaker 1: a pedicure chair. Or maybe you are asked to serve 15 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:05,039 Speaker 1: on the gala committee for a nonprofit you really do 16 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,679 Speaker 1: care about and you want to support the nonprofit, but 17 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:12,959 Speaker 1: not in that way. I know we have all been 18 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:16,959 Speaker 1: taught that no is a complete sentence, but no is 19 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: not necessarily fun to say or hear, especially if you 20 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:24,479 Speaker 1: do want to preserve or strengthen the relationship. The good 21 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: news is that even If you can't say yes, you 22 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 1: might not need to say no. Sometimes it's nicer to 23 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:35,720 Speaker 1: ask how about this instead? Maybe a milestone birthday is 24 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,280 Speaker 1: coming up and you really don't want any more candles 25 00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,520 Speaker 1: or silly t shirts making jokes about turning forty or 26 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,240 Speaker 1: fifty or whatever it is. You could say no gifts please, 27 00:01:46,160 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: but people will probably bring a gift anyway. You may 28 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:53,520 Speaker 1: be more successful if you suggest what people can do instead. 29 00:01:54,880 --> 00:01:57,360 Speaker 1: The invitation could say, if you'd like to honor Jane 30 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: with a gift, please consider making a contribution to the 31 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: library where she has volunteered since her last milestone birthday. 32 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:09,200 Speaker 1: Or if you would like to honor Jane with a gift, 33 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,040 Speaker 1: please write her a note offering your hope for her fifties. 34 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 1: If your child asks for ice cream on a day 35 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,640 Speaker 1: when dessert is not the norm, you don't have to 36 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:22,600 Speaker 1: insist we don't have dessert on Mondays. You could simply 37 00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: offer yogurt with blueberries or a frozen banana instead. If 38 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,600 Speaker 1: a friend invites you to do something you can't do 39 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:33,040 Speaker 1: or don't want to do, propose an alternative date to 40 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:36,960 Speaker 1: activity for spending time with her right away. I can't 41 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: do a pedicure on Saturday afternoon, but what about a 42 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 1: walk on Saturday morning, or coffee or breakfast. I could 43 00:02:44,320 --> 00:02:48,680 Speaker 1: also make Tuesday work. Relatedly, if someone asks you to 44 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: help and you can't offer help in the way they requested, 45 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:56,079 Speaker 1: consider offering a different way that you could assist. If 46 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:58,000 Speaker 1: a client asks you to do a project on a 47 00:02:58,040 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: timeline that won't work for you, let them know what 48 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:04,160 Speaker 1: time line would work for you and see if that 49 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: works for them, or you could suggest another person with 50 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: more immediate availability. Of course, this does not mean you 51 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: need to solve every problem that's brought to your attention, 52 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,799 Speaker 1: but when you don't want to say no, you may 53 00:03:17,840 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: not have to. If you frame your response right, you 54 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 1: can avoid saying new to yourself as well. If you are, say, 55 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:31,079 Speaker 1: reducing your alcohol consumption, have an appealing non alcoholic beverage, 56 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:36,800 Speaker 1: perhaps in a pretty glass. Not drinking wine doesn't mean 57 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: you have to drink water. You could have a flavored 58 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: seltzer and a champagne flute. We are wise not to 59 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 1: say yes to everything, of course, but will often be 60 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:53,440 Speaker 1: happier if we suggest another option instead of just saying no. 61 00:03:55,280 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 1: In the meantime, this is Laura, Thanks for listening and 62 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:10,640 Speaker 1: here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for 63 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 1: listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, 64 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 1: you can reach me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. 65 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 1: Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts 66 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:33,919 Speaker 1: from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or 67 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.