Speaker 1: The fucking pol police coming straight from the underground. The
Speaker 1: younger nigga got it back because I'm brown and not
Speaker 1: the other colors of police think they have the authority
Speaker 1: to kill the minority. Fuck that shit, because I ain't
Speaker 1: the one for a punk motherfucker with a badgine the
Speaker 1: gun to beat North. It's on this jail. We can
Speaker 1: go to the talk in the middle of a sell
Speaker 1: fucking with me because I'm a teenage up.
Speaker 2: The French advisory. Good mom's bad choices.
Speaker 3: It is a beautiful day outside.
Speaker 2: Finally it's been raining. Yes, it's been raining non stop
Speaker 2: in LA, but we need that rain.
Speaker 4: I actually like the rain, yeah, because it only happens
Speaker 4: like six days out of this three hundred and sixty five.
Speaker 3: But remember when it used to rain like all the
Speaker 3: time in LA in the nineties, nearly two thousands, okay,
Speaker 3: kind of believe it.
Speaker 2: I remember we had a shower storm once in two
Speaker 2: thousand and four.
Speaker 3: I just always feel like it's the weak again when
Speaker 3: it's raining, and then it's not the weekend because I'm
Speaker 3: getting emails and.
Speaker 2: I have to like do things and I have shit
Speaker 2: to do, Like, is.
Speaker 4: The only place on earth that it sprinkles, and then
Speaker 4: you hear people in the gas station like, oh no,
Speaker 4: it's raining, John, I'm not coming in.
Speaker 2: The office today.
Speaker 3: I'm like, you, guys, well, they can't drive either, retarded
Speaker 3: people from LA It's like the people that the transplants.
Speaker 2: Know how to do it. The locals might be the ones.
Speaker 2: Because this is when I moved to Atlanta.
Speaker 4: Honestly, the first time it rained, I thought it was
Speaker 4: going to be a tornado storm and it was just
Speaker 4: regular rain, and I realized that what we get is
Speaker 4: not rain at all.
Speaker 2: It's a light drizzle, it's never really raining. It was
Speaker 2: raining a lot.
Speaker 4: Girl, you haven't been to real rain unless you've lived
Speaker 4: outside of California.
Speaker 2: No, I mean, I guess, but it was a medium.
Speaker 2: It was medium. All I want to do when it's
Speaker 2: raining is just like.
Speaker 4: In my bed, Like I didn't go anywhere all day yesterday,
Speaker 4: and then for like two hours, I was like, I
Speaker 4: think I'm depressed.
Speaker 2: But then I realized maybe it's because.
Speaker 3: It was the weather and I hadn't washed my ass,
Speaker 3: changed my clothes, went outside.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm I'm stressed. I'm depressed. And then
Speaker 2: I'm like, maybe you should wash your.
Speaker 3: Ass maybe that that that always makes me feel better washing. No,
Speaker 3: what was I gonna say? I I had an idea
Speaker 3: of what I was gonna say, and then I forgot,
Speaker 3: probably because I smoked already. I'm having like Eela. That's
Speaker 3: why I'm not gonna smoke.
Speaker 2: This is why I went to Dare. It's peer pressure.
Speaker 2: Oh God, don't say those words, stare, Please don't listen.
Speaker 2: Still they're still around.
Speaker 5: They are.
Speaker 4: I really want one of those T shirts, even though
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm kind of a hypochis that's the point, right, oh,
Speaker 4: to wear No, I don't think that's the point for you.
Speaker 2: I mean for me. No.
Speaker 4: I just like their shirts and I thought they were
Speaker 4: like retired, but they're making it come back.
Speaker 2: I know what I wanted to say.
Speaker 3: I want to just say that if you tuned into
Speaker 3: our episode last week, I have since added links on
Speaker 3: our website. If you go in our to our Instagram,
Speaker 3: our websites. There it's good Mom's Bad Choices dot com.
Speaker 3: I added a section with resources from our last talk.
Speaker 3: Our last episode. If you didn't tune in, you should,
Speaker 3: but if if you did, then you know it was
Speaker 3: about basically talking about body parts anatomy sex with your toddlers,
Speaker 3: your kids, and that it's an ongoing conversation and it's
Speaker 3: so important for kids to identify their body parts by
Speaker 3: their real names. But I'm not gonna get too much
Speaker 3: into that because we already did a whole episode on it.
Speaker 3: But just check out that resources link. It's going to
Speaker 3: be up all the time, and whenever we do episodes
Speaker 3: with like really good info.
Speaker 4: We're going to keep all of the resources up there
Speaker 4: so you guys can check in and you know, do
Speaker 4: some research, have additional resources to the things we discussed
Speaker 4: exactly smart.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also I'll mean have bad resources there too,
Speaker 3: Like it's just my favorite strip club.
Speaker 2: Oh Sam's. I mean it's it's like the best you're
Speaker 2: gonna get in La.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but have you actually have you done Crazy Girl
Speaker 4: anytime recently?
Speaker 2: Now I went there years ago and they weren't even naked.
Speaker 4: Really, they've they've they've stepped up their game majorly. It's
Speaker 4: a little Sam's up in there.
Speaker 2: It's a little shut up and it's closer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's you know, if you live in La,
Speaker 4: ain't nobody want to drive no more than a ten
Speaker 4: mile radius anywhere? If no one goes to the airport.
Speaker 4: No one goes downtown if they live in the valley.
Speaker 3: This is Sam's is deep, I mean on deep, It's
Speaker 3: just in the downtown. I'm like new to Sam's because
Speaker 3: my ex used to go there all the time, and
Speaker 3: I would like, I didn't really and it was a
Speaker 3: strip club, Sam's Club the store. Now I know it
Speaker 3: was a strip club, but like I was just like, okay, cool,
Speaker 3: but he was going all the time. And then I
Speaker 3: went like recently, maybe like three months ago on my
Speaker 3: own with a girlfriends, and I was like, that's why
Speaker 3: this nigga.
Speaker 2: Was here, Okay, I see. I was like low key angry,
Speaker 2: but then I was like, hey, that's kind of fun.
Speaker 2: And you know what.
Speaker 4: Also, this is me because I'm a fat ass. I'm
Speaker 4: a foodie, y'all the skinny bitches.
Speaker 2: The foodie her and her daughter and my kid. Yes,
Speaker 2: oh my god. And I can't be mad. She's be
Speaker 2: like every five minutes, I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: did it to my child.
Speaker 3: Every time when it comes over you guys, She's like,
Speaker 3: I want strawberries, I want her harries, I want a food.
Speaker 2: It makes me feel like people think I don't feed
Speaker 2: my kid. No, you know, she just loves her. She
Speaker 2: loves her some food she does. I really doesn't want
Speaker 2: to eat anything French fries.
Speaker 4: Sam's has good food, and usually, like ship clubs in
Speaker 4: Atlanta have good food.
Speaker 2: And that wasn't like ninety like sixty percent of my motivation.
Speaker 4: So the fact that they have good food really makes
Speaker 4: me feel at home because I'm like naked bitches and
Speaker 4: good food, you know, like wings and.
Speaker 2: Titties, Wings and titty We should open a strip club,
Speaker 2: wings and titties.
Speaker 3: That's a good one. It's a good one, and it
Speaker 3: can be close. We're gonna make some merch that say
Speaker 3: wings and tit checking out on our website.
Speaker 2: What wings and titt wangs? Titties and wangs? Cause what's
Speaker 2: wrong with them? Anyway? Anything new this week happened to you?
Speaker 2: And they've been like feeling out of it.
Speaker 3: So no, I just been like I got back into
Speaker 3: work and then I uh, I've been hanging.
Speaker 2: Out with Iri and I had an audition, no commercial.
Speaker 2: Oh you did have that? Go it was good? It
Speaker 2: was good. Yes, Irin, you have to go out there. Okay,
Speaker 2: so you guys go play in there.
Speaker 4: Oh, go go by, go outside, Okay, come through come here,
Speaker 4: come through here.
Speaker 3: Our podcast lives al't but anyway, iother gets to hurt me.
Speaker 2: Hi, let's go go go go.
Speaker 3: It.
Speaker 2: Okay, cause i'd be ending stuff too, Come on you
Speaker 2: edit it. I edited our last episode just like from
Speaker 2: stuff when I came in and it cause it was
Speaker 2: like overkill. Yeah, I was like, just it was easy.
Speaker 3: I've been getting back into work and just I wanna
Speaker 3: start working out again. I've been falling off, not feeling
Speaker 3: so great. Working out is like part of my mental
Speaker 3: sanity in life.
Speaker 2: Period. You feel like working out n ki ki like
Speaker 2: n keeps you sane. Yes, that's probably what I need
Speaker 2: to do, but it's hard for me.
Speaker 3: I get really into it and then I get really inconsistent,
Speaker 3: and then I start I just noticed a shift in
Speaker 3: my attitude. Yes, baby, okay, okay.
Speaker 4: All right.
Speaker 2: I went on a date that was cool. This is
Speaker 2: oh a new date? No, no, the date we were
Speaker 2: a little the same date, okay, same guide, same date.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and chatted with you, texted, we texted a lot, texted,
Speaker 3: built Insta stories.
Speaker 2: To like whatever I'm like am I slow? Clearly social
Speaker 2: media is a whole other thing. I feel so much pressure.
Speaker 2: I'm like, let me ask the hair cut. This one's okay. No,
Speaker 2: I don't feel pressure. I don't. I barely know what
Speaker 2: I'm doing.
Speaker 3: I only know because of beauty Blender and like looking
Speaker 3: at their stuff all day and watching other people make
Speaker 3: things better than me, and then I'm like, oh, that's
Speaker 3: how you do that.
Speaker 4: I thought I could stayed up post for like forty
Speaker 4: five minutes, and then I get Hi, I distracted, and
Speaker 4: I'm like it's ugly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's too much. Oh So, speaking of new news
Speaker 2: recently in Kelly of North's Sacramento, did you hear about
Speaker 2: Stephen Clark. Stephen Clark is Stephan or Stephen Stefan.
Speaker 4: I think when when white people use pH, it's Stephen,
Speaker 4: when Black people use pH, it's Stefan or Stephan.
Speaker 2: Because I've heard in a few different ways and no confusing.
Speaker 3: I don't want to be out here saying his name
Speaker 3: incorrectly because it's really important and he's an important person.
Speaker 2: Rest his soul.
Speaker 3: Unfortunately he had to lose his life absolutely, get murdered.
Speaker 2: Let's just say get murdered.
Speaker 4: He got murdered by the police in his own backyard
Speaker 4: for being on a cell phone.
Speaker 2: I mean this seems like I've heard this before.
Speaker 3: I just can't believe when we just watched that video
Speaker 3: right now, like that they shot twenty shots between two people,
Speaker 3: like this is Iraq, Like this is the war. There's
Speaker 3: only one person. It does not take twenty gun shots
Speaker 3: to put one person down. Like what kind of it's
Speaker 3: like a video?
Speaker 2: Gay?
Speaker 4: Yeah. I mean, first of all, to be in the
Speaker 4: line of duty, you're on gonna you're fighting crime.
Speaker 2: Let's be real, that's what you're supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2: But at some point.
Speaker 4: When you signed up for that ship, when you went
Speaker 4: through the camp or training whatever training that obviously it's
Speaker 4: minimal go around that happens. I mean, honestly, these people
Speaker 4: are cowards. You can literally hear him shaking and his
Speaker 4: breathing in the officer. Yeah, after they've shot this man
Speaker 4: twenty times. The most the hardest part is that they
Speaker 4: let him sit there for five or six minutes asking.
Speaker 2: Him to get up. Do you have a gun? You
Speaker 2: have a gun?
Speaker 3: You just shot someone twenty times? Do you really think
Speaker 3: they're gonna then they can respond?
Speaker 2: You think they're alive? Do you think they survived? You
Speaker 2: are a fucking idiot, is what you are.
Speaker 4: And you should have no business having any job except
Speaker 4: the one at Walmart because you're dumb as fuck. And
Speaker 4: I really hope even though unfortunately we all know, these
Speaker 4: motherfuckers are gonna get paid leave for six months or
Speaker 4: however long it takes a paid vacation for them the
Speaker 4: investigate when I could be I'll be the investigator murder.
Speaker 2: They need to go to jail. They're not going to
Speaker 2: go to jail. They they're not.
Speaker 3: Especially they've already started talking about that this was a
Speaker 3: justified kill because after watching the footage, even though that
Speaker 3: like it could have because of.
Speaker 2: What anything, how are they discussing it. It's a justified kills.
Speaker 3: That's the report that I had seen when it first happened,
Speaker 3: and I don't know if it's I'm pretty sure it's
Speaker 3: probably changed its First.
Speaker 4: Of all, the call was for a black male who
Speaker 4: was breaking into cars.
Speaker 2: Okay, not a mass murderer, not.
Speaker 4: A rapist on the loose, not someone with a machine
Speaker 4: gun in the neighborhood. It's an alert red somebody breaking
Speaker 4: into cars.
Speaker 2: Now, if you're going to find something.
Speaker 4: Breaking into cars and you just see a black man,
Speaker 4: you have not identified this person, haven't asked for any
Speaker 4: type of ID and you pull your weapon. First of all,
Speaker 4: you don't need a gun to break into a car.
Speaker 4: And they said they thought it was a crowbar. What
Speaker 4: did they think he was.
Speaker 2: Going to do?
Speaker 4: Willkanda swing it at them? Like they shot him twenty times?
Speaker 4: And then proceeded to ask him, we need to know
Speaker 4: if you have a gun on you. They must show
Speaker 4: me your hands, Show.
Speaker 2: Me your hands.
Speaker 4: They must really think we're from we're superhuman. They must
Speaker 4: think black people are superhuman.
Speaker 3: I mean, we are superhuman are but ain't nobody human
Speaker 3: survive twenty gunshots?
Speaker 2: Show me your hands? I like, I just I want
Speaker 2: to know how these people sleep at night.
Speaker 4: I want to know how do you go to work
Speaker 4: every day and you're this scared of black people.
Speaker 2: Or people period? Like this should not be listen. I
Speaker 2: don't like blood. I don't like death.
Speaker 4: I don't like losing people. I can't be a nurse.
Speaker 4: I know that because I know myself. If you're a pussy,
Speaker 4: you need not be a cop.
Speaker 2: You need not be a cop. It's like one plus
Speaker 2: one equals too. And I hope, like I literally hope
Speaker 2: that he has he. I hope that I should hunt
Speaker 2: that motherfucker for the rest of their lives. I really do.
Speaker 4: I really do, because that's somebody's child. That's somebody that
Speaker 4: he lived with, his grandparents. His grandparents and his child
Speaker 4: were in the house.
Speaker 2: They didn't even know it was him that they shot
Speaker 2: in their backyard. They didn't even.
Speaker 4: Know that their grandchild is back there getting murdered by cops,
Speaker 4: people who are supposed to protect you.
Speaker 3: I mean, if I saw a cop running towards me
Speaker 3: as a black man, I'm running too. I'm running because
Speaker 3: I don't know why y'all are running, and I'm running
Speaker 3: because y'all are chasing me and I haven't done shit.
Speaker 3: And I'm scared of cops at this point because you
Speaker 3: guys have worked in our trust so many times.
Speaker 2: And don't get me wrong, I know some things are accidents.
Speaker 3: Do I think that these cops like set out to
Speaker 3: murder someone woke up this morning and were like, we're
Speaker 3: gonna go murder some like niggers today. Like, I don't
Speaker 3: know that for sure. I can't make that. That's a
Speaker 3: really grandose assumption, But I just feel like it's the
Speaker 3: lack of training. These people do not have any training,
Speaker 3: which makes you do pussy shit. You act like you're
Speaker 3: in a fucking video game because and suddenly your life
Speaker 3: is more important than the other person's.
Speaker 2: There is training, but the training is probably biased. It's terrible.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and there's just there's just a bad likes. And
Speaker 3: then on the at the root of like what the
Speaker 3: police force is, I know it comes stems from goodness,
Speaker 3: but they're rotting way.
Speaker 4: But that's where you're wrong, and that's where people are misconceived,
Speaker 4: the misconception of the police forces that they I mean,
Speaker 4: we all have, you know, think that they're there for good.
Speaker 4: But you know that the police the police force started
Speaker 4: as like slave catchers. That's literally where the police force
Speaker 4: the root of it is. So like even the badges
Speaker 4: are similar, like that came from that. So when it
Speaker 4: stems from that, even like we're in the United States,
Speaker 4: it's not gonna twisted. Even black people have like embreded
Speaker 4: stereotypical racist feelings because that's what we're fed constantly.
Speaker 2: These white like these cops.
Speaker 4: That ship is not that big of a deal because
Speaker 4: there's no consequences and there have been no consequences. Fuck
Speaker 4: a body cam, it does not matter. First of all,
Speaker 4: on that settage we didn't see him run. We just
Speaker 4: talked in the backyard. There was no footage of him running.
Speaker 4: I didn't see him run.
Speaker 3: And where's the app where's the rest of the footage?
Speaker 3: You only put it on so you own They switched
Speaker 3: on their camera footage when when.
Speaker 2: They started break before they started shooting.
Speaker 4: And then the fact that part is even if he
Speaker 4: had not run or had run, it may.
Speaker 5: Not have changed their It may not have changed anything
Speaker 5: because we've seen other videos where people aren't running, they
Speaker 5: aren't doing anything, plain daylight, Eric Gardner, and they strangled
Speaker 5: him together ten people and nobody.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, I'm coming.
Speaker 6: This interested.
Speaker 2: Sorry for that short break. Kids are very needy. We're
Speaker 2: back but but yeah, anyway.
Speaker 3: I don't wanna We have an episode plans today, guys.
Speaker 2: But we had to mention this because it is just
Speaker 2: so outrageous.
Speaker 3: Outrageous and sad, sad, and it's just sad that it's
Speaker 3: like I'm getting used to it.
Speaker 2: It's normal. It's not surprising that this is happening because.
Speaker 3: I'm getting numbt getting numbed to it, Loki, Like, not
Speaker 3: that I don't care about this at all, I do.
Speaker 3: When I just saw that video, Like something inside me
Speaker 3: just makes me so fucking angry. I'm angry, like it's
Speaker 3: just becoming. It's not getting better because no one's paying
Speaker 3: the price. There's no comb's going to be an example.
Speaker 3: We just have to be the examples all the time.
Speaker 2: It's just it's crazy.
Speaker 3: And this person is someone's child, Like, this is someone's child.
Speaker 3: And people don't look at other people from different socioeconomic
Speaker 3: places and like different skin cut but they suddenly like
Speaker 3: their children are not human to them or something.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like they're not looking at they're they're what are
Speaker 4: you saying, separating?
Speaker 3: I just mean like they just don't look at people like, oh,
Speaker 3: you're a child, You're someone's child.
Speaker 4: That's my biggest That's what I'm most baffled by because
Speaker 4: a lot of the times these cops are parents, and like, literally,
Speaker 4: I don't know what your experience was, but like obviously
Speaker 4: I knew this, but when I gave birth to, when
Speaker 4: I gave birth to like this innocent, small little being,
Speaker 4: and then you just see how innocent they are and
Speaker 4: how they don't know anything.
Speaker 2: And I mean literally, we're just born.
Speaker 4: We were not choosing any of our socio you know,
Speaker 4: economic statuses and it's just like you would think that
Speaker 4: that could soften anyone's heart.
Speaker 2: Like that when people.
Speaker 4: Who have kids who are mothers or fathers and they're racist,
Speaker 4: it really baffles me because you've experienced the beauty of
Speaker 4: childbirth and like the pureness and that you've you've chosen
Speaker 4: to have hate. Oh my god, this is this is
Speaker 4: not on topic, but have you seen there's a snapchat
Speaker 4: in some racist ass places in Middle America?
Speaker 2: Two white nurses are.
Speaker 4: Maternity nurses in the maternity ward and they were snapchatting
Speaker 4: like this little black baby and saying like, look, I'm
Speaker 4: a rapper, like making racist comments with the baby on
Speaker 4: the snapchat.
Speaker 2: What a newborn. And apparently they have one friend that
Speaker 2: cares because someone reported them and they got fired as
Speaker 2: they should.
Speaker 4: But calling the baby like inappropriate names. Can you imagine?
Speaker 4: That's another thing like which brings us to our topic today.
Speaker 4: Today we're gonna be discussing pregnancy postpartum and how real
Speaker 4: that motherfucking transition is. Yeah, the shock factor.
Speaker 3: Shock factor. It's not what Instagram is showing. No, it's
Speaker 3: not even what my Instagram is showing. Nobody told me
Speaker 3: about this part of it. There's a lot of shit
Speaker 3: people don't tell me about, but this, for sure, it's like, oh,
Speaker 3: it's gonna be hard.
Speaker 4: That is the lightest, most diet sugarcoated form of saying bitch,
Speaker 4: are you sure about this? Because yeah, yeah, seriously. This
Speaker 4: is a big thing for me because immediately I was like,
Speaker 4: what the fuck have I done?
Speaker 2: When you got pregnant? I mean, when I got pregnant.
Speaker 4: After I had the baby, when I got home two
Speaker 4: weeks after that.
Speaker 2: Well, no, when I got pregnant, I was so scared.
Speaker 2: I was terrified. Did you cry? I didn't cry.
Speaker 3: I just felt fear Like I was like, yeah, like
Speaker 3: I'm going to pass time right now. And I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, Like I don't even like kids.
Speaker 2: You don't I do? Now? I love kids other than
Speaker 2: your own kids. No, I love all kids. When I
Speaker 2: see the little kids, like really maybe like yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: they got what I know. I have friends.
Speaker 4: My friend who I just came back from visiting, she
Speaker 4: doesn't like kids, like she likes hers.
Speaker 2: But like she doesn't. I have to remind her like
Speaker 2: you're her aunt, like you're Linna remember She's like.
Speaker 4: Oh, I was like her, just like I have friends
Speaker 4: who have kids.
Speaker 2: There was a mistake.
Speaker 3: No, I I just it's not that I didn't like kids. Okay,
Speaker 3: that's a strong word. I just think I just I
Speaker 3: wasn't into like playing, Like I don't want to play
Speaker 3: Hide and.
Speaker 2: Go Seek, I want to play. I just I think my.
Speaker 3: Even like I have a really young sibling, my siblings,
Speaker 3: my youngest sibling of six, so it's like a baby.
Speaker 3: And like now that I have a baby, I would play.
Speaker 3: But before I'd be like, I want.
Speaker 2: To play, you know, it's so stunny to play.
Speaker 4: I see myself as this like nurturing maternal person, Like
Speaker 4: I've always thought that I've always wanted to have a lot.
Speaker 2: Of kids, maybe because I'm a cancer, which was like
Speaker 2: the mother's sign.
Speaker 4: But when I told my dad, like I was telling
Speaker 4: my dad like yeah I want He's like you want kids,
Speaker 4: and I was like, yeah, you didn't know that, He's
Speaker 4: like remember, I just I was shocked that my own
Speaker 4: father like was questioning that I should be a parent
Speaker 4: and be like wanted to be a parent. But like
Speaker 4: almost like eight years ago, one of the coptail witch
Speaker 4: I was telling him body, I was getting a puppy,
Speaker 4: and they were like, why you shouldn't get a puppy
Speaker 4: like everybody, And I was like, what nobody thinks of
Speaker 4: any skills?
Speaker 7: You?
Speaker 2: Well, you're like, I'm mother nature.
Speaker 4: I came off, I was nurturing Motherlike what are you
Speaker 4: talking about? So clearly my own self perception and everybody
Speaker 4: else's is off. But yeah, I mean, I guess I
Speaker 4: can see where people could get that idea, but clearly
Speaker 4: we are very mothering mother like.
Speaker 2: I love I love kids. Now it's usually the parents.
Speaker 2: Parents do better. Parents bad parents make asshole kids do better.
Speaker 3: But you know, I was. I was, and then I
Speaker 3: got excited because he was excited, and you know, but
Speaker 3: then when my body started changing was hard for me
Speaker 3: to At first it was.
Speaker 2: Cute and then there was a point where I just
Speaker 2: wasn't cute anymore.
Speaker 3: But it was my fault. I ate, like it was
Speaker 3: my fucking full time job. Like I ate, like I
Speaker 3: was eating for three and three How.
Speaker 2: Much weight did you gain? Seventy pounds? Oh my god, Eric, yeah,
Speaker 2: seventy pounds. How did you even lose on that weight?
Speaker 2: It's been a minute, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Taking me almost three years, literally, Like I was like,
Speaker 3: you're passed about that? At first, that's like I think
Speaker 3: part of the reason that like postpartum popped up for
Speaker 3: me initially because I've always been so conscious of my
Speaker 3: weight and my body and like being an actor and
Speaker 3: like like a kid model or whatever.
Speaker 2: Like you know, you become aware of those things that
Speaker 2: are kind of an early age, which doesn't help. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you come away.
Speaker 3: Those things kind of an early age. And so I
Speaker 3: was always like a little self conscious. And so I
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, I look in the mirror even
Speaker 3: now and like even back then and be like growing,
Speaker 3: you look good to day. The other's days I'm like, ooh,
Speaker 3: ate those burgers four days in a row. But yeah,
Speaker 3: I just like the idea of my body and it
Speaker 3: was really hard for me to adjust to. It was
Speaker 3: really hard. And obviously when you gained seventy pounds, it's
Speaker 3: also hard to hide.
Speaker 4: So yeah, ain no uh weigh.
Speaker 2: But I saw your pregnancy photos. Girl, you were all cute.
Speaker 2: You just didn't gain one paund You gain like ten pounds.
Speaker 4: I gained like thirty five pounds, but it was literally
Speaker 4: all in my stomach.
Speaker 2: I went for my postpartum six weeks.
Speaker 4: First of all, I was portion of the reason I
Speaker 4: was happy to get pregnant, since I thought I was gonna
Speaker 4: be thick and get hips, and like six weeks later
Speaker 4: when I went to the postpartum I think I was.
Speaker 2: I started and ninety eight pounds.
Speaker 4: Before I got pregnant, and I went back to my
Speaker 4: postpartum bitch, I was ninety six pounds.
Speaker 2: I was pissed. I'm like, check that again, what do
Speaker 2: you mean it was only six weeks ago.
Speaker 4: You're telling me not any of this weight stayed thirty
Speaker 4: five pounds and I come back with my negative too.
Speaker 2: I was mad. Oh my god, I lost thirty pounds,
Speaker 2: like immediately from.
Speaker 4: Having the baby, right the baby, all the weight you
Speaker 4: lost right there. I think you can see my I
Speaker 4: think you can see like my ribs in my Like
Speaker 4: my ribs were on top, the belly was the loft.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: But when I found out I was pregnant, first of all,
Speaker 4: it's so it's a bizarre thing because I was like
Speaker 4: living with my man at the time. I've known him
Speaker 4: like fifteen years, so I shouldn't have been like freaked out.
Speaker 4: But I cried. I like cried like a baby. And
Speaker 4: I remember looking at him and he was like, oh
Speaker 4: my god, this she's a bitch. I remember thinking like,
Speaker 4: I'm a mean person, and I was just like, eh,
Speaker 4: I was scared. And I was so scared that first
Speaker 4: of all, I'm super hippie and I'm super.
Speaker 2: Like, God send me signs, spirits, ancestors.
Speaker 4: So I asked all my friends, like, do you guys
Speaker 4: know any like spiritual guides or like psychics? I asked
Speaker 4: all the hippie friends for two weeks straight. Nobody got
Speaker 4: back to me. So I'm like, oh, this is something
Speaker 4: I'm gonna have to make a decision about pretty soon.
Speaker 2: So I'm literally at a friend's friend's house.
Speaker 4: We've been there all day and I just smoked a
Speaker 4: little weed and I said her like, do you know
Speaker 4: any spiritual advisors I have, like this thing I really
Speaker 4: need to talk to someone about. She's like, yeah, my
Speaker 4: friend Eddie she's inside. I'm like, really's like, yeah, she's
Speaker 4: been here all day. She's the best psychic I know.
Speaker 4: I'm like seriously, She's like yeah. I'm like I'm been
Speaker 4: asking people for two weeks. I'm like, can you ask
Speaker 4: her if she'll talk to me? She's like yeah, I'll
Speaker 4: pay her. So Eddie decides to do it. She busts
Speaker 4: out her Tarot cards.
Speaker 2: Oh damn. I didn't tell her what my thing was
Speaker 2: because I was still skinny. I was like four or
Speaker 2: five weeks pregnant.
Speaker 4: And she starts reading the cards. Erica, this bitch, I'm
Speaker 4: looking at the cards they're facing. Her pulls a pregnant
Speaker 4: Tarot card. Shut up, it was I didn't even know
Speaker 4: if pregnant tarrot card existed.
Speaker 2: And I'm looking like trying to break my neck, and
Speaker 2: she's like, well, you see this card.
Speaker 4: And after that, like I didn't, I consciously asked God
Speaker 4: to give me an answer. She clearly pulled the pregnant card.
Speaker 4: I didn't hear anything else she said. I was just like, oh, okay, God, okay,
Speaker 4: well let's do it, you know, like okay. So, I
Speaker 4: mean I basically kept my child because the strangers psychic
Speaker 4: lady told me that it was in the stars.
Speaker 2: In the stars.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was scared, but I had, like I just
Speaker 3: knew I was going to keep it, per keep it.
Speaker 4: Well, I mean because I help her. Like when we
Speaker 4: got pregnant, I was twenty six, twenty seven. Yeah, so
Speaker 4: I mean we're past the like unacceptable way.
Speaker 2: I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 3: I've been with my man at this point for like
Speaker 3: five years, you know.
Speaker 4: Mature adult. Yeah, and she's like kind of in high school.
Speaker 4: I think I had started to feel more maternal in
Speaker 4: that last year for some reason.
Speaker 2: A little bit more probably age. Yeah, And so I
Speaker 2: just went for it.
Speaker 8: And here I'm blessed of my little Ivy Jane Yay.
Speaker 8: Now we have children that are friends and very annoying friends,
Speaker 8: but it's still very nice.
Speaker 3: But yeah, So I think you know, if you live
Speaker 3: in the world that we live, which is Instagram, like
Speaker 3: you see people and they have their babies and and
Speaker 3: they're like they've lost all the weight or there are
Speaker 3: suddenly their baby wait turned into like like like musa
Speaker 3: video vixen body, or like they're.
Speaker 2: Madly in love.
Speaker 4: They've just got engaged and had a huge fat ring
Speaker 4: and fee a huge house.
Speaker 2: And yeah, and like we're going on walks and they're
Speaker 2: all watching.
Speaker 3: I think it's just so like confusing for someone who
Speaker 3: like has most part of it is seeing that as
Speaker 3: a first time parent and they're just like, what, like,
Speaker 3: what's wrong with me? Why am I not? Like, first
Speaker 3: of all, am I why don't I look like that?
Speaker 2: Yet? It's not even about love.
Speaker 3: Why don't I feel like that? I feel why I
Speaker 3: don't want to go to the park. Why do I
Speaker 3: want to Why would I want to go to the park.
Speaker 3: Everything's here, honestly.
Speaker 4: Like the day I left the hospital, they put me
Speaker 4: in the car and I got home, I was like
Speaker 4: I felt like a child that got dropped off by
Speaker 4: our for the like wha, wait your late wait hold on,
Speaker 4: I'm not ready to go yet. Like I know, I
Speaker 4: still get out of here, but are you The nurse
Speaker 4: is not coming with me?
Speaker 2: Like I felt in shock, like I was in shock.
Speaker 2: And then after like three days sitting in my house,
Speaker 2: it was raining and shit, I think.
Speaker 4: Her dad went to work, and I was just like,
Speaker 4: oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my.
Speaker 2: God, this is my life. This little bitchmull get off
Speaker 2: of my nipple. I'm gonna come on.
Speaker 4: And then like I was cleaning and she fell asleep
Speaker 4: and I was cleaning, and I was like zoned out,
Speaker 4: and oh shit, that baby, check on that baby. I
Speaker 4: was like, I just it was It's like the hugest
Speaker 4: transition I've ever experienced.
Speaker 2: And immediately I'm like, oh my god, how am I?
Speaker 4: My stomach got really dark, because like the hormones, like
Speaker 4: the stretching.
Speaker 2: I was like, I'm never gonna be wear bathing suit.
Speaker 2: I'm not sexy, I'm not spicy. I'm not spicy Jam.
Speaker 2: Then who am I like, Mama Jam, Like, who's that person?
Speaker 2: It seems we don't know. I'm still figuring it out
Speaker 2: right this ban hence the show.
Speaker 3: You've fee one way your whole life and then you
Speaker 3: have to take care of another life and shit kind
Speaker 3: of so I'm like, you're not you who you are,
Speaker 3: but everything changes. And that's how I felt. I felt
Speaker 3: when when I went home, I was like, I mean,
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh my god, like is she alive?
Speaker 2: She okay?
Speaker 3: Like always just always so nervous, there's no hand and
Speaker 3: the most tired I've ever been in my life.
Speaker 2: It comes this daunting cloud that comes. Ever you're like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, this is my life now. It's just heavy.
Speaker 2: It's so tired.
Speaker 3: I try to explain to my friends I don't have kids,
Speaker 3: or like maybe are pregnant, like our girlfriend is pregnant,
Speaker 3: and I'm just trying to tell explain and sometimes I
Speaker 3: have flashbacks and I'm like I thought I knew that
Speaker 3: I'd be tired like before when I before I had
Speaker 3: a baby, I'm like, okay, yeah you're tired.
Speaker 2: I get it. I'm gonna be so tired.
Speaker 3: Then until your art You're like this is beyond tired.
Speaker 3: This is some other shit. And that's where like it's
Speaker 3: just like can get confusing. The tiredness can make you depressed.
Speaker 3: And if you don't have breaks and if you don't
Speaker 3: have someone to a support system, it's really difficult.
Speaker 4: And then it's just like you're you're feeding the baby,
Speaker 4: you're changing the baby, You're bathing with the baby, you're
Speaker 4: getting the baby dressed, the baby's sleeping with you. There
Speaker 4: was a moment I got home to the hospital and
Speaker 4: like my baby's daddy was like here on my cheeks.
Speaker 4: The baby was like right under me, and I was.
Speaker 2: Like I was like, oh my god, I can't breathe.
Speaker 4: And then like maybe like six six later, he was
Speaker 4: trying to like the baby went to sleep, probe me
Speaker 4: for sex.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I'm a machine. Like I decided,
Speaker 2: I like you is give I give right.
Speaker 4: I felt like I was getting depleted, like my energy
Speaker 4: was just going to this baby. Now you you just
Speaker 4: put your dick out right, like, put that shit away.
Speaker 4: First of all, we just had a baby. You see
Speaker 4: that where that gets us? You got to fuck away
Speaker 4: from me from that thing. Don't ever pull it out again.
Speaker 2: It was pits. Oh my god, it's so true. You
Speaker 2: do you feel like the giving tree?
Speaker 4: Yes, like wait, hold the fuck up. This is what
Speaker 4: I this is what I signed up for. And then
Speaker 4: I think there's like it's because you know what, a lot.
Speaker 3: Of it, like I said, in social media plays a
Speaker 3: part because men are looking at these women that have
Speaker 3: babies and they're just out and about looking sexy and
Speaker 3: their stollers and look fuckable, like you're just living this
Speaker 3: great post baby life and they're like, why isn't my
Speaker 3: wife looking are doing this? It's because most of those
Speaker 3: women aren't doing this either.
Speaker 4: And then we live in this fucked up society where
Speaker 4: like we said, like, no one discusses this real shit
Speaker 4: about what happens after you have a baby. Literally after
Speaker 4: I gave birth and I laughed, I was like, my
Speaker 4: vagina hurts.
Speaker 2: No one talk to me about that.
Speaker 7: No.
Speaker 2: I was like, don't laugh, Like, no one talks to me,
Speaker 2: like you always think about the birth. It's gonna be
Speaker 2: so hard a da da dah, and then but then
Speaker 2: you have then you're bleeding, you're fucking pussy hearts.
Speaker 4: You can't laugh hard. It's weird, like these are none
Speaker 4: of the things. Nobody mentions this shit. And then even
Speaker 4: within the mom community, I feel like there was a
Speaker 4: lot of pressure to be like we have like this
Speaker 4: mom image, you.
Speaker 2: Know, like you schoos to be fucking Susie Homemaker.
Speaker 4: After you have a kid, automatically, you birth the baby,
Speaker 4: you come up looking like Susie. You know, like, no,
Speaker 4: it's not what happens. And if you don't like live
Speaker 4: up to that, then you're like, something's wrong with me.
Speaker 2: No, for sure, it's true.
Speaker 3: I mean there's just yeah, it's just I mean I
Speaker 3: didn't wash my like do my hair for like weeks.
Speaker 3: I don't even know if that's postpartum. I think that's
Speaker 3: just the first four weeks also. But then if you
Speaker 3: just keep it going, we're going and going, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like you have to get you have
Speaker 3: even though like literally your life is never the same.
Speaker 2: Because that was my thing.
Speaker 3: I was like, I think postpartum depression is such like
Speaker 3: people don't like to talk about it because it can
Speaker 3: be really embarrassing. The thoughts that you have some parents have.
Speaker 3: I fortunately did not have these thoughts, but I know
Speaker 3: that it pops up all the time in postpartum, that
Speaker 3: women feel like they want to hurt their child, that
Speaker 3: they have bad thoughts, that they feel totally disconnected from
Speaker 3: their child. And that's the worst thing that you can feel,
Speaker 3: or feel judged by, feel.
Speaker 2: Judged for as a woman. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3: We're supposed to be these like maternal like beings, right,
Speaker 3: and that's not true.
Speaker 2: We don't come in maternal. We learn it because you know,
Speaker 2: I could.
Speaker 4: Only be as maternal as you know your experience and
Speaker 4: if you've never had kids, right. Even I think I
Speaker 4: went to the I had got the doctor maybe like
Speaker 4: a week after I gave birth, or maybe a few
Speaker 4: days because I had high blood pressure. And I was
Speaker 4: in the waiting room at that OpEd my inn and
Speaker 4: the baby Luna starts crying, getting fussy, and I remember
Speaker 4: like shaking her, bouncing, and I remember all the women
Speaker 4: looking at me, and I just got this.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, everybody's looking at me.
Speaker 2: She won't shut up. I'm doing it wrong. I just
Speaker 2: touched your position. A couple of times unless she put
Speaker 2: my blue rock. I was with my my, her dad's mom,
Speaker 2: and she was looking at me. I just felt I
Speaker 2: just had to step up.
Speaker 4: I took the baby and I stepped outside because I
Speaker 4: felt so much pressure that the other women who probably
Speaker 4: already had kids were like that, there's just no.
Speaker 2: She's doing well. You did it, you did it, you know.
Speaker 3: I mean I took baby classes and everything in the
Speaker 3: moment she came. I mean, I have to say though
Speaker 3: the moment she came, I knew how to hold her.
Speaker 2: I know that for sure, it does come natually, but
Speaker 2: it is still a very scary experience. But it's over.
Speaker 3: When she came home, we were alone, just met her
Speaker 3: and her dad. I was like, and then he left
Speaker 3: for like I don't know, to go get food.
Speaker 2: I was like, wait, what right? Any way coming on?
Speaker 2: Are you okay? Like are you reading?
Speaker 3: And then just once I finally adjusted to being a mother,
Speaker 3: and I still I just then I just felt I
Speaker 3: was like, okay, I'm getting the hang of this. I
Speaker 3: haven't been out in months and I looked terrible. I'm
Speaker 3: still I'm still there's something, there's something different for me.
Speaker 3: Nothing's ever going to be the same again, and that's true.
Speaker 3: Nothing is ever the same again, and in the best
Speaker 3: way possible. But it's hard to see that at first,
Speaker 3: especially when you're in postpartum, which I didn't realize I
Speaker 3: had postpartum until I was out of it and I
Speaker 3: looked back on it and I was like, Oh, you
Speaker 3: were not okay and you were not happy, and you know,
Speaker 3: the person that you were with didn't know how to
Speaker 3: support you in that because they don't.
Speaker 2: Teach men about that. They don't. They don't.
Speaker 3: Men don't even understand, even if if they get taught
Speaker 3: or whatever. It's hard for no men understands how a
Speaker 3: woman feels after you.
Speaker 2: Literally women don't even know I understand how they feel.
Speaker 3: Like our bodies are flushed out, like we gave birth
Speaker 3: and everything that we've been like incubating and holding in
Speaker 3: is just suddenly depleted.
Speaker 2: For other babies just like that. Yeah, and we're supposed
Speaker 2: to be just fine. Your hormones are literally raging. It's that.
Speaker 2: It's that it's literally an influx.
Speaker 4: In your hormones or whatever readjustment. But it takes time
Speaker 4: to adjust to that. And honestly, as soon as I
Speaker 4: came home when I was sitting on that couch alone
Speaker 4: and overwhelmed. I saw immediately how postpartum depression can easily
Speaker 4: even how any woman who does how the baby can
Speaker 4: easily fall into a form of depression because there's this
Speaker 4: major transition and adjustment that nobody talks about.
Speaker 2: And no, it's crazy.
Speaker 3: And we did a little bit of research and found
Speaker 3: out that one in seven women suffer from postpartum depression.
Speaker 2: Which is a lot. That's a huge number.
Speaker 3: And it's even crazier is like four million, So four
Speaker 3: million live births a year, six hundred thousand of those
Speaker 3: women that have those children are going to experience postpartum depression.
Speaker 3: That's more than someone who has breast cancer, cervical cancer,
Speaker 3: a stroke, all those combined. These women there, there's more
Speaker 3: cases of postpartum depression than all those things combined to women.
Speaker 2: So it's it's seriously a thing. And then it's a thing.
Speaker 3: After looking at these stats, I was like, damn, Like
Speaker 3: like I was like really, I thought like I was alone.
Speaker 3: And then I talked to my other girlfriend who experienced
Speaker 3: it pretty badly, a lot more severe than I did,
Speaker 3: and she was embarrassed to talk about it and to
Speaker 3: hear her talk about it was like wow, wow. I
Speaker 3: mean if I have felt the way that, if I
Speaker 3: had those thoughts, like suicidal thoughts and thoughts of hurting
Speaker 3: my child, I don't know who I would feel comfortable
Speaker 3: talking about.
Speaker 2: That with either, because you feel guilty.
Speaker 4: Those so shamed, like ashamed, like who am I that
Speaker 4: I'm thinking of killing my kid? But it's common and
Speaker 4: it happens. And because it's so shamed, it's such a
Speaker 4: it's so look that it's so shameful, and people don't
Speaker 4: discuss it and people are embarrassed.
Speaker 2: To talk about it. Forty percent of those cases go undiagnosed.
Speaker 2: So there's four million, like six.
Speaker 4: Hundred thousand women developed this and forty percent are not
Speaker 4: even cases are not diagnosed. I mean, imagine how many
Speaker 4: people experiencing it and not a not knowing and be
Speaker 4: not getting help.
Speaker 2: Right, No, it's crazy.
Speaker 4: And how many kids actually get harmed as a result
Speaker 4: or abandoned or actually moms kill themselves. The suicide rate
Speaker 4: and among postpartum women is pretty high too.
Speaker 3: It's pretty high. Yeah, especially the kids. It's just like
Speaker 3: they don't know why mommy is disconnected from them. Why
Speaker 3: is and even when you're even as a child, as
Speaker 3: a as a baby, a newborn, you're you all, you're
Speaker 3: you're just like this new thing in this world and
Speaker 3: you don't have anything except your mother, right, and she's
Speaker 3: who you writ from. You Like, can you imagine what
Speaker 3: that what kind of effect that has on like a
Speaker 3: baby's brain?
Speaker 4: Well, whenever, what did our stats say? Eleven percent?
Speaker 7: No?
Speaker 2: No, there was a study on eleven year olds who.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, eleven year olds who's whose parents suffered from
Speaker 3: post part of depression, and they had considerably lower IQs.
Speaker 4: I mean we don't I'm not sure what the variable
Speaker 4: or in that research, but I mean I can I
Speaker 4: can see how important it is to bond with your
Speaker 4: kid and those to those you know, initial moments, and
Speaker 4: that not happening does affect your kids, even if they
Speaker 4: are just newborns and you think that it doesn't, that
Speaker 4: emotional like connect is it's pretty important. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean these like suicidal deaths account for twenty two
Speaker 3: percent of postpartum mortalities.
Speaker 2: Like that's that's just twenty two percent of the lot.
Speaker 3: That's just not okay, And it's kind it's like some
Speaker 3: people know like I'm depressed. Other people I think postparty
Speaker 3: we can be confusing because you have this beautiful baby.
Speaker 2: So you're like, I'm not depressed, what I have this kid.
Speaker 2: We're good where I'm happy.
Speaker 3: And then you're like, I'm not happy and I'm so horrible,
Speaker 3: like I'm never gonna be able to go out again.
Speaker 3: Like everyone hates me. I'm I'm fat, I'm not pretty.
Speaker 3: My husband doesn't want to have sex with me. He's
Speaker 3: cheating on me.
Speaker 2: Like all these different vagina hurts. My vagina hurts. My
Speaker 2: vagina is not the same, right or yeah, like you know,
Speaker 2: like you just have all these did you tear? I
Speaker 2: had a sea section? Oh right, I forgot. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't recommend it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a whole different thing. I mean imagine yeah,
Speaker 4: even having a sea section. Imagine having a newborn and
Speaker 4: then having to recover from.
Speaker 2: A major surgery.
Speaker 4: They like to remove your like, don't they remove your
Speaker 4: your intestines. They're like they take everything out of your stomach,
Speaker 4: then hit the baby out, then place it back.
Speaker 2: That's a major surgery. So people are like, oh, I
Speaker 2: want to schedule see section. No, bitch, you.
Speaker 4: Don't, because you're like signing up for a newborn plus
Speaker 4: recovering from a major surgery where they just removed your intendance.
Speaker 2: And put them on the table. Hell no, let's just
Speaker 2: try to push it out the canal. If we can't.
Speaker 3: I don't know how people opt for that, like to
Speaker 3: each his own. But because there's not there's not information,
Speaker 3: it's on my mind like I had, like meant try
Speaker 3: to at least mentally prepare for what birth, childbirth would
Speaker 3: be like. And I just knew I was gonna have
Speaker 3: my child vaginally, you know what I mean, Like she
Speaker 3: was gonna come out of there. We were gonna have
Speaker 3: this bonding experience where she comes out.
Speaker 2: I have this whole vision.
Speaker 3: Quality because they have they have these videos were like
Speaker 3: their mother would pull them out, place the baby, the
Speaker 3: baby on their stomach. Baby like inches up to the
Speaker 3: boh where to go. I've never seen the newborn inch
Speaker 3: up to anywhere. It seems like like a national weldlife
Speaker 3: so beautiful.
Speaker 2: I've never seen a new born crawl. I really will
Speaker 2: not crawl, but like wiggle, you know. But you know what,
Speaker 2: And that's a good point.
Speaker 4: Because I had this whole birth story that was going
Speaker 4: to birth at home, just me and my baby's saddy.
Speaker 4: I wanted to do like an unassistant hippie home birth,
Speaker 4: which is totally insane.
Speaker 3: But what's insane it's yeah, maybe maybe baby too.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would still try again, but because I had
Speaker 4: like high blood pressure pre clamped.
Speaker 2: Yet, I had to go to the hospital, which was
Speaker 2: totally not in my plan. I did not want to
Speaker 2: the hospital.
Speaker 4: But you know what that initial welcome to motherhood was like, yeah, bitch,
Speaker 4: you thought you had a plan.
Speaker 2: Now you don't. It was like you used to it.
Speaker 4: They don't plan, they don't like, let me, this is
Speaker 4: this is how you get started from motherhood.
Speaker 2: Bitch, fuck your plans.
Speaker 4: So yeah, here I am not going by.
Speaker 2: Any of those plans. Yeah, no, I guess you're right.
Speaker 2: It's it's true.
Speaker 3: I've learned so many lessons just like that, because I
Speaker 3: have that initial crawling out of my room, drinking fresh
Speaker 3: milk easily messed milk easily as just gonna on perfectly's
Speaker 3: going to just flow out to her, Look at shining face,
Speaker 3: blow a kids off eyeliner on right, not look like
Speaker 3: ship me too, horrible, Oh my god. But and then
Speaker 3: so then that didn't happen, because that doesn't happen because
Speaker 3: I feel like I feel like had I went with
Speaker 3: my gut, which was I wanted to give birth at home,
Speaker 3: or at least I don't I want to give birth
Speaker 3: at home.
Speaker 2: But I didn't really have My doctor wasn't very being
Speaker 2: very supportive. They're not gonny because he's not going to
Speaker 2: make money, I know.
Speaker 3: And I also had no friends with children or that
Speaker 3: I've ever given birth, so I had like no one
Speaker 3: to talk to, like except my mom. But like I
Speaker 3: was like, a bang, mom, there are no old school
Speaker 3: I know, so I didn't and then which I will
Speaker 3: not old school because I wanted.
Speaker 2: When I told her I wanted to give birth at home,
Speaker 2: she was like, why.
Speaker 4: No, Yeah, that's well they're old school in the sense
Speaker 4: like their hospitals.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Like my grandmother was like, oh yeah, who cares, they've
Speaker 4: been doing that. My mom was like, are you crazy?
Speaker 4: You're gonna die.
Speaker 2: So there's like you can see how the trend shifts.
Speaker 4: That's a whole different episode because I'm a huge I
Speaker 4: think I should have been a midwife.
Speaker 2: Or still can. But I do want to.
Speaker 4: I do want to do a topic about like the
Speaker 4: options for you know, the type of childbirth through because
Speaker 4: there are options.
Speaker 3: I know, there are so many When I was researching,
Speaker 3: I wanted to do to a water birth.
Speaker 2: They had these water birthing centers you could go to.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think it's just like I feel like
Speaker 3: it's like one of the most It just makes sense
Speaker 3: to be birthed into water.
Speaker 2: You've been in water in your smooth transition and your
Speaker 2: comfort zone. Right you think Ricky lakele covenor show.
Speaker 3: Ricky Please, I love born. That was one of the
Speaker 3: reasons I was convinced. I went and got a midwife.
Speaker 3: But then he, like, you know, baby Daddy didn't really
Speaker 3: support it. He was had that old school mentality too.
Speaker 3: And you know, I was already kind of nervous about everything,
Speaker 3: Like I was like the strictest like pregnant person, Like
Speaker 3: never did I have one piece of tiny sushi?
Speaker 2: Like really did I.
Speaker 3: I would not eat cheese like certain cheeses, and like
Speaker 3: I was like I need anything could happen.
Speaker 2: You know, that is so not my personality. That's how
Speaker 2: my personality eat.
Speaker 4: I've been in Japan or eating sushi pregnant day, let's
Speaker 4: go kind of farly.
Speaker 2: It is my personality.
Speaker 3: I didn't realize I was like that until I got
Speaker 3: pregnant and I was like, whatever you say goes.
Speaker 2: And so I think because of that, I just my
Speaker 2: doctor was like, do you tell me still birthstart delivered
Speaker 2: from home birth?
Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's an evil fucking thing for him
Speaker 4: to say.
Speaker 2: So like, yeah, that's shit, Like that's the likelihood is low,
Speaker 2: but it's there. Just do your first they'd like to
Speaker 2: tell you the point five person first birth in the hospital,
Speaker 2: the second birth. Once you get through it, you can
Speaker 2: do it that way. Blah blah blah blah blah. And
Speaker 2: then when I was a week late, she was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: we got to induce you. Baby's getting too big. Meanwhile,
Speaker 2: Like I.
Speaker 3: Was just with a girlfriend last night and she told
Speaker 3: me her friend delivered a ten pound baby.
Speaker 2: I was like, bitch, if people go like ten days,
Speaker 2: two weeks, after days, ever even eight pounds, like I
Speaker 2: could have waited another week. Everybody has this is the
Speaker 2: biggest thing.
Speaker 4: Everybody has different pregnancies, everybody has different styles of motherhood,
Speaker 4: everybody has different deliveries.
Speaker 2: Like it's everybody does different shit.
Speaker 4: And I think like if we can embraced that more
Speaker 4: as like a village of moms and there's less judging
Speaker 4: and less like these these standards of what it looks
Speaker 4: like to be a good mom. People would a be
Speaker 4: more honest and be be less fucking surprised when that
Speaker 4: baby gets out and it's not looking like Martha.
Speaker 2: Stewart up in here.
Speaker 4: And you know, we could, if we could have a
Speaker 4: real conversation about the reality of motherhood. Like it's it's beautiful,
Speaker 4: it's wonderful, but there's a downside, not a downside, but
Speaker 4: like you.
Speaker 3: Know when they say it takes a fucking village girl,
Speaker 3: Like I think back on like I think back like
Speaker 3: when I was like living in when I was a
Speaker 3: Native American, But you know, they had, like they had
Speaker 3: support women of the village that like took care of
Speaker 3: whatever child was born, like took turns, gave that mother
Speaker 3: a break. I just feel like postpartum was probably non
Speaker 3: existent then because everybody.
Speaker 2: It was down to participating. It's so important.
Speaker 3: And my point is is participation is so important, especially
Speaker 3: if you have the part if you have a partner,
Speaker 3: if you're with the father or the mother or whatever
Speaker 3: whatever your sexual preferences, whatever, whoever you're with, they need
Speaker 3: to be they need to know the ways to support
Speaker 3: you because it is rough out here. I don't know
Speaker 3: if we have any male followers, but it's very rough
Speaker 3: out here for us women when we give birth, even
Speaker 3: if we are trying and pretending like we got this,
Speaker 3: because you want to be able to do it all.
Speaker 2: I know, I'm that type of way. I don't like
Speaker 2: to ask for help for things.
Speaker 3: I want you to know, like I made this choice
Speaker 3: to have this baby, or I go to kill it,
Speaker 3: and then sometimes I don't kill it, and I'm like
Speaker 3: tired and I'm not doing well because I'm burning myself
Speaker 3: on both.
Speaker 4: Ends and it's like it's physically exhausting and it's mentally exhausting,
Speaker 4: Like there's a huge mental you know, physically your body's
Speaker 4: going through you've made your fucking changes, and then mentally.
Speaker 2: You're like it's a huge challenge too. So for spouses
Speaker 2: or boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you do have Like it's important that you educate
Speaker 4: yourself on the signs of if your you know a
Speaker 4: partner is experiencing these types of things, because a it's
Speaker 4: good to protect the child because some people do have
Speaker 4: extreme cases where they want to hurt the child and
Speaker 4: hurt themselves.
Speaker 2: And you know, you need to be able to be
Speaker 2: aware of it.
Speaker 4: To support them, we did some additional research.
Speaker 2: Some of the symptoms were only road one two. My notes,
Speaker 2: this is why high school was bad for me. I
Speaker 2: know it's say, disconnect with the baby.
Speaker 4: If you feel a disconnection with your baby and you
Speaker 4: don't want to hold it, or you just feeling rude.
Speaker 3: Out the other one's Erica, Yeah, I know you feel
Speaker 3: disconnected from the baby. You feel like useless, tired, want
Speaker 3: to You're gonna be tired. You're gonna be tired. There's
Speaker 3: just there's no getting around it. Just because you're tired
Speaker 3: doesn't mean you have part of depression.
Speaker 2: Like that is normal.
Speaker 4: I feel like everybody has feels farm depression, and to
Speaker 4: some extent. I mean, I'm sure there's like those instant
Speaker 4: moms that like that hot one with all the kids
Speaker 4: who are still skinny.
Speaker 2: This is a fair stage. She looks like she never
Speaker 2: experienced anything like it.
Speaker 3: She I don't even know where her baby existed, like
Speaker 3: like I don't know it was. But then she has
Speaker 3: a beautiful, big baby and I'm like, yeah, bitch, where
Speaker 3: the fuck was this baby?
Speaker 2: And the belly some people have big ribs or like
Speaker 2: you looks so small. She did she looks like you.
Speaker 2: You guys were the same size, but even I had
Speaker 2: a big ass belly. That was insane because we me
Speaker 2: and her were pregnant at the same time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I was looking at her Instagram, I'd be like,
Speaker 3: I'll be over here, seventy pounds heavier, like.
Speaker 2: Maybe I just had my baby when I saw her.
Speaker 2: But even you know, at my homegirls, that's another thing.
Speaker 4: Me and Erica became friends, like I guess the girls
Speaker 4: were so small, but after we had kids, but so
Speaker 4: a lot of.
Speaker 2: My friends don't have kids or hadn't had kids yet either.
Speaker 4: And my girlfriend was like, why aren't you dressing cute
Speaker 4: when I'm pregnant. I'm gonna dressed so cute, and I'm
Speaker 4: dressed so cute when I'm pregnant, Like, get dress, what's
Speaker 4: wrong with you?
Speaker 2: You're not doing your hair. You look a mess.
Speaker 4: I wanted to say, bitch, I will beat you with
Speaker 4: this fucking boot, okay.
Speaker 2: Because you don't.
Speaker 4: You think it's all fun, it's fluffy and cute, and
Speaker 4: I'm like, I mean, I've had some cute days, like
Speaker 4: twice and you know, like the ones to bur bikini,
Speaker 4: but your body changes so quickly.
Speaker 2: Even me, I'm skinny, I don't.
Speaker 4: I mean, I've always wanted to be thicker, but I've
Speaker 4: never had any like major body images issues because in
Speaker 4: my head I think I.
Speaker 2: Am thick and tall. But literally, when.
Speaker 4: Your body starts to gain weight that rapidly, it is
Speaker 4: a strange ass feeling like you carry a child within
Speaker 4: the nine you feel like an alien, like a nine
Speaker 4: month span, and you just start to bulge in one
Speaker 4: place like you're first of all, I'm a houchie, like
Speaker 4: I'm number one hoochie mom of the year if you
Speaker 4: if you didn't know, I have self proclaimed that title.
Speaker 4: So none of my clothes fit and I refuse to
Speaker 4: buy maternity clothes. I'm like, I'm gonna be skinny, like
Speaker 4: in six months.
Speaker 2: I don't need to.
Speaker 4: Do this, But literally, I think I want to see
Speaker 4: my uncles weight like this little summer dress. He's like Jamilla,
Speaker 4: it looks like Nicki Minaj.
Speaker 2: I'm like, you shut the fuck up. Okay, this is
Speaker 2: all that fits. Only three more months of this ship.
Speaker 2: You shut the fuck up. I look good, Okay, I
Speaker 2: look good. I can see you. You shut the fuck
Speaker 2: I was pissed. COUCHI Mama, No, I've bought. I had
Speaker 2: to bur it buy things. But I'm not so large.
Speaker 3: I just lived in spandex SPANX and sweats and I
Speaker 3: have bun And then like.
Speaker 2: If I want to be cute, I'll put like see laur.
Speaker 4: I pour a hot stars like the African heads are
Speaker 4: literally for like six months.
Speaker 2: I'm like that you must do your hair. You have
Speaker 2: to because I also have this like naturalist stage. I
Speaker 2: shaved my.
Speaker 4: Head and then I let it grow back and I
Speaker 4: had afro and I was like, Okay, this is not
Speaker 4: gonna work. I'm really trying to be natural and hippie
Speaker 4: and like power to the people.
Speaker 2: And then I go to the club and I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh no, I'm not gonna work in la. I don't know.
Speaker 4: I mean, it's my insecurities and I used to my
Speaker 4: normal hairs.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I feel you. I feel you.
Speaker 3: Okay, back to the symptoms crying for no apparent reason.
Speaker 3: I definitely did that, yeah, but I thought like it
Speaker 3: was for like I thought that it was maybe because
Speaker 3: like me, like when you Another thing I don't talk
Speaker 3: about also is how trying it is on your relationship.
Speaker 3: If you're in a relationship, married, boyfriend, whatever, when you
Speaker 3: have a.
Speaker 2: Kid, like your relationship is going to change.
Speaker 3: It doesn't mean for the worst, but it's gonna challenge
Speaker 3: your relationship because suddenly it's not about each other anymore.
Speaker 3: You don't have time, like as a woman, I'm sure
Speaker 3: like you don't have time, like we were just talking about,
Speaker 3: like don't come near me with your dick, like, stay away,
Speaker 3: it's not about you. I've done enough for you. And
Speaker 3: they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, wha, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like just little moments like that,
Speaker 3: like you've changed, and they and sometimes they can't understand
Speaker 3: why they don't get it.
Speaker 2: They're like, what's wrong? Why don't you want to you know?
Speaker 2: Or you're like yeah, yeah I do, and so you know, at.
Speaker 3: A party or and also men kind of can get
Speaker 3: to continue on living their life.
Speaker 4: Yeah, like nothing change, nothing changes for them, which I
Speaker 4: mean they feel don't.
Speaker 2: I don't want say nothing.
Speaker 3: I'm not trying to like devalue their feelings because a
Speaker 3: lot of men will be like, well, i'm working, I'm
Speaker 3: working double time now now I have a family to rise.
Speaker 2: Hopefully that's the kind of thing you're with.
Speaker 3: Anyway, So uh yes, huh, Okay, guys go back over there,
Speaker 3: go and sit on the couch and watch Pepa. Yeah
Speaker 3: uh so, yeah, I mean, but they they get to
Speaker 3: go back to work, They get to go feel a.
Speaker 2: Sense of flamingo floating. What's happening? I don't love what?
Speaker 2: Why should I trying to like? Everything?
Speaker 4: Is that?
Speaker 2: Take on a ride? I don't know. That is a
Speaker 2: very small flamingo floating. I think it's for a cup.
Speaker 2: And my daughter is sliding see the floor with it,
Speaker 2: she's writing it. It's very strange.
Speaker 3: But yes, I think men and I don't want to
Speaker 3: discredit the man's feeling like I was saying, because I
Speaker 3: know that they most good men will go and work
Speaker 3: extra hours because they know the baby's coming, or try
Speaker 3: to just figure out.
Speaker 2: You got to figure it out. Shit, kids aren't cheap.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, like you, guys get to
Speaker 2: go to work.
Speaker 3: Even going to work, you get if you're if you're
Speaker 3: going to work hopefully, if you have a job you like,
Speaker 3: you feel a sense of achievement, you feel like you're
Speaker 3: working towards something. You get to get out of your house,
Speaker 3: you get to feel like something other.
Speaker 2: Than a father for eight hours.
Speaker 3: Whereas mothers that are like living at home or at
Speaker 3: home off of work for the next three to four months,
Speaker 3: and this is their whole life. It's it's it's intense,
Speaker 3: like feeling like, oh my god, this is I'm a mother.
Speaker 2: Now that's it. I think I said only a mother.
Speaker 4: As soon as I started to get those feelings of
Speaker 4: like panicking, I remember taking learn into them all like
Speaker 4: sixty days old. I didn't have to get at the mall.
Speaker 4: I didn't need shit. I just was like, Okay, time
Speaker 4: to get out the house. Let's get let's get this movie.
Speaker 4: Let's show the baby the world. The baby just through
Speaker 4: the world. She's curious. I was like, I think I
Speaker 4: got back to work.
Speaker 2: I think I went back to work like two weeks later.
Speaker 4: I just took the baby with me because I was
Speaker 4: bored to death and I didn't I felt like my
Speaker 4: life was dwindling away, like my normalcy, and I didn't
Speaker 4: want to just like I've always had this fear, even
Speaker 4: as like a kid, I'd be like a frum by
Speaker 4: van driving like T shirt wearing mom, and I never
Speaker 4: wanted to be that, Like I want to be like
Speaker 4: going on the go and like still fly and hot,
Speaker 4: so I was.
Speaker 2: Just like, I think my anxiety kicked in the opposite way,
Speaker 2: like I didn't want to not.
Speaker 3: Look No, mine was the other way. Mine was the
Speaker 3: other way because I could. I took time off, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, I had the time off. I also,
Speaker 3: you know, I was acting, and when I was doing
Speaker 3: stuff for work, like I was always on camera. So
Speaker 3: like I took the time off, and I was so
Speaker 3: happy I didn't have to be on camera. I was like,
Speaker 3: I cannot, you know, I don't feel comfortableing on here.
Speaker 3: But then I put pressure on myself like I need
Speaker 3: like at some point, I'm like I need to lose
Speaker 3: this way at that point because it's some one I
Speaker 3: gotta be on camera job. Yeah, I was just putting
Speaker 3: too much pressure on myself. Anyway, back to okay, crying
Speaker 3: for no parent reason. I think mood swings, which you
Speaker 3: know we have to experience anyway, feeling overwhelmed. Change and
Speaker 3: eating or sleeping, I mean that's pretty. That's pretty. I
Speaker 3: mean change in eating or sleeping, that's every that's just
Speaker 3: bound to happen.
Speaker 2: You're not sleeping the same ever.
Speaker 3: Again, No interesting your baby thoughts of hurting yourself or
Speaker 3: your baby that's the biggest one.
Speaker 4: I mean, that's the one that's I mean with that,
Speaker 4: if you're experiencing that, you need to recognize that that's
Speaker 4: what it is, and you need to ask anyone you
Speaker 4: can think of who you trusts, to take the baby
Speaker 4: and go check in somewhere and get help, because there
Speaker 4: is help and it does exist, and it's normal. It's
Speaker 4: not like you're a monster. You're not a bad person.
Speaker 4: It's just like the hormones are real.
Speaker 2: That shit is real.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like feeling feelings of guilt and worthlessness, I felt
Speaker 3: that way. I felt feelings of guilt and worth worthlessness.
Speaker 4: Maybe it's a guilt stemming from I think I felt guilty.
Speaker 3: I felt guilty like I never felt like I was
Speaker 3: doing it, like I wasn't good enough, like it was
Speaker 3: never doing enough to be a good mother, like I
Speaker 3: have those feelings now. Then I felt guilty, like leaving,
Speaker 3: like if I ever wanted to leave, Like it's too
Speaker 3: early to leave.
Speaker 2: I'm leaving. I'm guilty, I'm not a good mom. I
Speaker 2: shouldn't go do this.
Speaker 3: I stay here all the time, like I wanted to,
Speaker 3: like get away. But then I also felt guilty about
Speaker 3: getting away That's another thing that was.
Speaker 4: Like those weird pressures and expectations and shit that people
Speaker 4: put on you, because people have all, oh you're leaving already,
Speaker 4: Oh you're going already, are you sure?
Speaker 2: Oh you want to go out? Or you're drinking. You know,
Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, bitch, I haven't drinking nine fucking months.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna kill myself. Do you think it's true? It's true.
Speaker 3: I mean there's so many different signs, and like I think,
Speaker 3: like I was saying, it's so important that if you
Speaker 3: have if you do have a partner, your family members,
Speaker 3: like if you're listening to this and maybe you're not
Speaker 3: a mother or or like maybe you have someone in
Speaker 3: your life that is going to be or is but
Speaker 3: maybe your wife or your sister or whatever. There's just
Speaker 3: different ways that you can help someone who's going through postpartum.
Speaker 2: I mean it sounds like I just asking are you cool?
Speaker 2: Like my mom kept asking like fifty million times, like
Speaker 2: how are you feeling? And my mom, what are you
Speaker 2: talking about? Now? I see what she was like trying
Speaker 2: to get at. But you know, sometimes you gotta be
Speaker 2: straight up.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sometimes you gotta be straight up, and then you know,
Speaker 3: making sure that if they do know they're in postpartum,
Speaker 3: letting them know that this is not their fault, because
Speaker 3: it's not. They can't control it. All they can do
Speaker 3: is try their best to make maybe take steps in
Speaker 3: like in a more positive way to try to get
Speaker 3: out of it. Yeah, it's not guaranteed to work, but
Speaker 3: I mean shit.
Speaker 4: And then we've even touched on in our research. We
Speaker 4: haven't discussed yet the postpartum that women who've experienced miscarriages
Speaker 4: are still births experience, which I can only imagine is
Speaker 4: on a completely different level.
Speaker 2: That's like something that people never talk about. Never.
Speaker 3: It's like you don't talk about how you feel after
Speaker 3: an abortion. It's like it's like it's done.
Speaker 2: It's done.
Speaker 6: Abortion was not on the list. It was a miscarriage
Speaker 6: or so guilty collegence. I mean, I mean the same thing.
Speaker 6: Though they need to add that to.
Speaker 4: The less because even though it's a choice, choice still hurts.
Speaker 3: But had to well, no, sometimes you have to get
Speaker 3: abortions too, Like I feel like your life is in danger, you.
Speaker 4: Know, like some people have like bad pregnant bag child
Speaker 4: burbs or whatever, you know, Like yeah, I mean, I
Speaker 4: mean I had an.
Speaker 2: Abortion in like or like you're raped or like.
Speaker 4: I mean, I actually met someone who was the product
Speaker 4: of a rape. I think it was like a Christian
Speaker 4: a Christian camp. She talked to us, So even that
Speaker 4: made me feel a certain way. So, I mean, this
Speaker 4: is not a conversation about pro life for poor choice,
Speaker 4: because obviously we're both pro choice, right Huh.
Speaker 2: Come on, I quit, come on, I can't go further me. Actually,
Speaker 2: I'm very prolific. We found horrible make America great.
Speaker 4: But I mean, but that is actually a good that's
Speaker 4: a good ad because it's true. Even though I mean,
Speaker 4: people take away from that, especially young girls or people
Speaker 4: don't want to tell their parents or whatever, because that
Speaker 4: was you know, that's the case. I'm damn grateful for
Speaker 4: the high school since you play in parenthood because I mean, yeah,
Speaker 4: think about it.
Speaker 3: Just think about a girl who's in high school who like,
Speaker 3: doesn't want to get an abortion, but doesn't know how
Speaker 3: to tell her parents, and she doesn't have any education,
Speaker 3: so she goes against the abortion that maybe she didn't
Speaker 3: have to get, you know what I mean, maybe she does,
Speaker 3: maybe the baby wasn't going to live a great life,
Speaker 3: but now she's depressed because she didn't feel like she
Speaker 3: had any other choice, and.
Speaker 4: She didn't even know that what post part of it
Speaker 4: is or that she's experiencing it.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is that a late term abortion, because miscarriages
Speaker 3: and abortions can happen in the same time in the
Speaker 3: time same time frame, I mean, you know, because I mean.
Speaker 2: One is farther long than the other.
Speaker 4: Yeah. And then like I found myself like I've been
Speaker 4: insensitive before, Like I know someone she's kind of young,
Speaker 4: so maybe that's where I'm like judging. She had like
Speaker 4: a miscarriaget like ten weeks and she got like the
Speaker 4: time tattooed on her and she's like always wants to
Speaker 4: like put Mother's Day, Like, well, maybe she was really
Speaker 4: looking forward to I know. But I'm like, okay, that
Speaker 4: makes me sound like a bitch.
Speaker 2: Well, I mean I get it, I get it. You're like, girl,
Speaker 2: you aren't.
Speaker 3: You don't need that child, You're not you It's like,
Speaker 3: I mean, so you're not ready for that child.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just a bit much. But I mean, who
Speaker 2: am I'm never had a miscarriage.
Speaker 4: I mean I can understand more so like someone miscarriaging
Speaker 4: after four, five, six months, especially.
Speaker 2: Like a still birth after you've carried a child.
Speaker 3: You know what about the people that are like I
Speaker 3: been trying to get preged for a long time and
Speaker 3: then they do, and then they you know, it's just
Speaker 3: it's just there's so many different like ways either way.
Speaker 2: If you're pregnant once and then you're not, you can
Speaker 2: experience most partum.
Speaker 4: Because it is hard. And then there's also the notes
Speaker 4: and a natal depression. I just played that word today,
Speaker 4: which is eleven point five percent people experience, and that's
Speaker 4: usually within your third try master that's before you give birth,
Speaker 4: which I didn't even know that she existed.
Speaker 2: I didn't even know this word. And a natal now
Speaker 2: you know it, but that exists too.
Speaker 4: So if you're in your you know, you're getting big
Speaker 4: and fat and it's time about that time and you're
Speaker 4: feeling depressed, that's also a thing. So it's not anything
Speaker 4: to like maybe I had that because you saw like
Speaker 4: towards the end, yeah, I mean, you know what, it's
Speaker 4: also hard to differentiate because at the end you're so
Speaker 4: fat and so uncomfortable and so out of breath.
Speaker 2: You don't know if it's depression or you're just pissed.
Speaker 3: Like my friend literally right now, just text me Nishe
Speaker 3: shout out to nishe hang, and she just wrote, I'm waddling. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I think at birth in like next month, and she's literally,
Speaker 3: I'm waddling.
Speaker 2: I feel different today than I did four days ago.
Speaker 2: What the fuck? That's literally what she just texted me, right,
Speaker 2: because that shit is real. Four days can go by
Speaker 2: and you feel like you just grew times four. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's true. It's like you just I mean, it's a bizarre,
Speaker 2: trippy experience. It's so bizarre. It's bizarre.
Speaker 4: And I would really say that the birth part was
Speaker 4: like the least not bizarre, like the it's not the
Speaker 4: least trying.
Speaker 2: I guess the whole thing is pretty intense. The whole
Speaker 2: thing is very intense. Did you, oh mae see section ocause?
Speaker 4: Okay, so I didn't want to have a berth in
Speaker 4: the hospital, but I did, and I didn't want to
Speaker 4: get a pre a epidural because I was on some
Speaker 4: hippie shit, but then two days later I did. So
Speaker 4: as I'm giving birth, they ask you if you wanted
Speaker 4: the mirror like to watch it, and I said, hell, yeah, Like,
Speaker 4: I don't know how manyime I'm gonna do this.
Speaker 2: I'm about to I want to see this shit.
Speaker 4: And literally in my birth video you can hear me
Speaker 4: say her head comes out. I said, oh my god,
Speaker 4: Oh my god, this is crazy.
Speaker 2: And I said, oh my god, this is crazy. It
Speaker 2: is crazy. It looks like I feel like I was
Speaker 2: in the movie Alien.
Speaker 3: I was so dragged down and see anything. I'm so
Speaker 3: jealous that you got to see that girl. I was
Speaker 3: a little uh whatever the back one, but I was
Speaker 3: fully aware to see that baby pop out of that
Speaker 3: koushi and I was like, this looks insane, dude.
Speaker 4: I mean it's cool to think of, like where the
Speaker 4: where the portal, Like we are the closet bert trap.
Speaker 2: Earth is the closest thing you'll ever get to the Maker,
Speaker 2: whoever you believe in, whatever you believe is on the
Speaker 2: other side.
Speaker 4: We literally become the portal for the he the Heaven's
Speaker 4: gate to Earth. So it is like I always think
Speaker 4: of it as a rite of passage too, Like it's
Speaker 4: a it's an intense experience, but once you get over
Speaker 4: the hump and the transition, you know there's light at
Speaker 4: the end of the tunnel.
Speaker 2: There is there's you know, there's a few ways I
Speaker 2: think that. I mean, I know helped me get out
Speaker 2: of Sorry, let me tell that Peter's thoughts to die.
Speaker 3: There is I mean, I know there's been a few
Speaker 3: ways that really helped me get out of my postpartum depression.
Speaker 3: I kind of just one day I lived in the
Speaker 3: mirror and I was just like, I am so tired.
Speaker 2: Of feeling like this.
Speaker 3: Like it's like it's like I hit my my breaking point,
Speaker 3: and I was like I just had to remember, like
Speaker 3: how who I was before this, and that's and I'm
Speaker 3: still that person.
Speaker 2: And it's like you start feeling like no, you're not. No,
Speaker 2: you're not you don't look say or you're not allowed
Speaker 2: to be that person.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're not allowed to be. Like I can't
Speaker 3: do I can't. I can't do this, I can't do that.
Speaker 3: I can't smoke weed, I can't go get drunk, I
Speaker 3: can't look at me, I can't party, I can't travel,
Speaker 3: I can't, I can't.
Speaker 2: There's so many fucking I can't. But that doesn't exist.
Speaker 2: That's bullshit. No, it really doesn't exist.
Speaker 4: It's in your head and it's in everybody else's head.
Speaker 4: And anyone who thinks that flocked.
Speaker 2: Them seriously fuck them. It's everything you can you can't, okay.
Speaker 3: And one of the first thing that really helped me
Speaker 3: get out of it was working out. I know it
Speaker 3: sounds so taboo like it sounds like, oh yeah, of
Speaker 3: course working out, but like, seriously, you have got to
Speaker 3: get out of your house. And it doesn't mean you
Speaker 3: have to go like run a mile, like just start
Speaker 3: with the walk around the block, you know, like even
Speaker 3: if I'm with your stroller or like maybe you need
Speaker 3: to like be like love, husband, wife, grandma, I need
Speaker 3: an hour today. Don't be afraid to ask for help,
Speaker 3: because sometimes I'd be like I need an hour or anything.
Speaker 2: Demand it. Yeah, I need.
Speaker 3: Help, and you need don't be afraid to ask for help.
Speaker 3: Don't try to do everything on your own. And then
Speaker 3: meditation helped me. And I'm like, I'm like the fake
Speaker 3: hippie over here. It looks more hippie than me, but
Speaker 3: I do do I really do meditate. I try to
Speaker 3: meditate every day I get I skip, like I'll.
Speaker 2: Go in silence or you have like a thing.
Speaker 3: I do and I like guided meditations, yeah, because I'm
Speaker 3: That's what I was gonna ask you. So I like
Speaker 3: the app headspace, I really like a lot. Oh, it's
Speaker 3: really good. Headspace is good. Sometimes I put on YouTube videos.
Speaker 3: Sometimes if I go on a hike, I'll just take a.
Speaker 2: Second and just sit, not too long so I don't
Speaker 2: fall asleep. You can fall asleep on a hike if
Speaker 2: I'm comfy.
Speaker 4: Sometimes I like to do Nomino home rang gyey kyo,
Speaker 4: nommeo ho rang ye kyos because then I remember to
Speaker 4: like be mindful and not fall asleep.
Speaker 2: Yoga helped me because.
Speaker 3: I was doing hot yoga, so I was like working
Speaker 3: out intensely sweating, so I felt like it was so
Speaker 3: uncomfortable that my brain I literally couldn't think of anything
Speaker 3: because when I was in my depression, I was just
Speaker 3: always had anxiety, always thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking that what
Speaker 3: was my future?
Speaker 2: What's my future?
Speaker 3: Did I do Launce? I make enough milk for her
Speaker 3: for me to go be here right now?
Speaker 2: Did I?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 2: And so it kind of shut that down for me.
Speaker 3: And I was also like working on a losing weight
Speaker 3: at the same time, so I saw results. I was like,
Speaker 3: I saw results mentally and physically.
Speaker 2: Yoga is a big deal.
Speaker 4: I didn't realize what a big deal it was until
Speaker 4: like right after I got out of my relationship, I
Speaker 4: went I started to do yoga a little bit, and
Speaker 4: I went to yoga class and I've got into a
Speaker 4: stretch and literally I just started to cry, and I'm like,
Speaker 4: this is weird.
Speaker 2: I'm not even like a cry baby type bitch.
Speaker 4: So but later yoga check it told me she's like
Speaker 4: she she stretched one way and she was like, I
Speaker 4: was just laughing hysterically.
Speaker 2: I didn't know why.
Speaker 4: And then I stretched the other leg a certain way
Speaker 4: and I just start to ball out of control. And
Speaker 4: she's like telling us how different stretches of different places
Speaker 4: in your body physically can.
Speaker 2: Hold different emotions. So I mean, you know our physical selves.
Speaker 4: That really that yoga does intertwine with the meditative spiritual
Speaker 4: growth too.
Speaker 2: That's a good.
Speaker 3: One that And Okay, so if your if your postpartum
Speaker 3: is really bad, I mean any type of postpartum, if
Speaker 3: you can go seek help, go talk to someone about it.
Speaker 3: Because I didn't realize I had postpartum until I go
Speaker 3: to therapy, and so like, I didn't realize I had
Speaker 3: postpartum until I was in therapy. She told you, she
Speaker 3: didn't even tell me. I was like, I came to
Speaker 3: the realization myself really, and I was like, what. And
Speaker 3: same with my one of my friends, who's who is
Speaker 3: even currently right now battling postpartum and much more severely
Speaker 3: than I did. She said she didn't realize she was
Speaker 3: in postpartum either, and then she but she was like,
Speaker 3: I know these thoughts are not normal.
Speaker 2: I need to go see someone.
Speaker 3: And she was diagnosed with it, So don't feel ashamed
Speaker 3: about talking about it with people. You need to talk
Speaker 3: to your partner about it. You need she needs to
Speaker 3: educate themselves. You know, they need to be reliable. They
Speaker 3: need to be reliable for you during that time. Like
Speaker 3: if you are dealing with someone who has postpartum, it
Speaker 3: is so important that you're reliable for them. If you
Speaker 3: say you're gonna be home at seven, be home at seven, yeah,
Speaker 3: please don't be home at ten.
Speaker 2: No.
Speaker 3: And that's not just some like woman like needy shit,
Speaker 3: that's like real, like we need a break.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and guys or whoever like, don't I've seen my
Speaker 4: friends do this or people like don't don't like cop
Speaker 4: out with the you're the mom, but you're the mom,
Speaker 4: but you're I've heard that.
Speaker 2: She's so many times I'm like, and I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 2: I'm the mom that was on snapped.
Speaker 3: And you didn't mind making me a mom, right, so help? Yeah,
Speaker 3: And and try to just just help out do things
Speaker 3: without her asking. That's damn near impossible. I know that this,
Speaker 3: this this tip is damn near impossible for y'all. Okay,
Speaker 3: Like for those that are self aware, try to do
Speaker 3: some housework, anything to make her life a little bit
Speaker 3: easier without her having to ask.
Speaker 2: She needs to feel appreciated.
Speaker 4: Like if you're just chilling on the couch and she's
Speaker 4: trying to get dressed, get the baby, right, if you
Speaker 4: can assist in getting the baby dressed, do that, because.
Speaker 2: You know what I'll say.
Speaker 4: Also, I feel like, no matter how much your partner helps,
Speaker 4: you're gonna you're gonna still feel like, oh fuck, everything's
Speaker 4: on me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're still gonna resent them a little bit. That's
Speaker 2: normal because that's let's be real, that's mom. That's like
Speaker 2: the part of the role.
Speaker 3: Of the mone We have a bigger role initially, and
Speaker 3: sometimes we resent them for that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but it's just the way of the world. Like
Speaker 2: they don't have breast milk, Yeah, it's not there. They
Speaker 2: can't hate them for it. Yes, I do.
Speaker 4: Another thing I experienced, which I don't think is necessarily depression,
Speaker 4: But this is just for people who are just having kids.
Speaker 2: Did you experience like I.
Speaker 4: Would have really off the wall thoughts like oh my god,
Speaker 4: what if she falls down, rolls off the cliff, Like
Speaker 4: I would think of really extreme situations like oh my god,
Speaker 4: what if that falls.
Speaker 2: On her head? Like I would just think of super
Speaker 2: and I and my friend had to tell me she
Speaker 2: has three kids, and she was like, no, that's normal.
Speaker 4: But that's your body training you to be prepared, prepared
Speaker 4: for anything.
Speaker 2: It's not weird. You're not having that Mama Bear's like,
Speaker 2: you're not having dark thoughts.
Speaker 4: You're just thinking of all the possibilities, which is that's
Speaker 4: that's normal as a mom.
Speaker 2: Like Okay, get down, because I no, I'm not saying
Speaker 2: them get down. I say because you.
Speaker 4: Know, you're just like your brain is beginning to train
Speaker 4: to basically have your ears and eyes open in a
Speaker 4: fifty mile radius at all times.
Speaker 2: Right, No, for sure, for sure?
Speaker 3: And I think also making sure you get her out
Speaker 3: date night once a.
Speaker 2: Week, want to get cute, get a sitter, whatever you
Speaker 2: got to do. You can do once a week. It
Speaker 2: doesn't have to you don't have to spend money.
Speaker 3: You just go on a walk together, like seriously, like
Speaker 3: anything to make But you know, taking her out.
Speaker 2: On a date was always ideal. I mean if your.
Speaker 3: Because I want to like ideally take her somewhere where
Speaker 3: she needs to get dressed so she can get out.
Speaker 2: Of Mommy's an event she needs to.
Speaker 3: Get out of mommy from led her to you're taking
Speaker 3: her somewhere nice. You would have to spend that coin
Speaker 3: that day, so you're gonna have to save all week,
Speaker 3: but trust me.
Speaker 4: It's worth it for the headache that you'll be resolved
Speaker 4: from exactly.
Speaker 3: So I just think like that, and then also being
Speaker 3: patient with her sex drive because I think a lot's
Speaker 3: a lot of pressure too.
Speaker 2: We just gave a birth and now you want to
Speaker 2: put hormones affect that too. Yeah, Like I wasn't horning
Speaker 2: it all during pregnans me neither at all.
Speaker 4: Like all I was like the most yeasty I've ever
Speaker 4: been in my life, and I wanted to kill myself
Speaker 4: and I didn't want a dick to be anywhere close
Speaker 4: to like get that ship out of my face. So
Speaker 4: like slowly after it came back. But yeah, yeah, be patient,
Speaker 4: I know. And you know, look, Pamela goes a long way, fellas.
Speaker 4: I know you guys do it all day anyway, what
Speaker 4: does it.
Speaker 3: Pamela, Pamela, Oh, Papa.
Speaker 2: I was like, palm oil. Who's that a new masturbation oil? Organic?
Speaker 2: Like jacking off? Oh yeah yeah. Just and and one more.
Speaker 4: Last advice for moms. I think in general, you know,
Speaker 4: like you just have to relax, like chill out. Baby's
Speaker 4: gonna be babies, babies are gonna cry. Don't take everybody's
Speaker 4: advice so literally, like if you listen to everybody, you'll
Speaker 4: stress yourself the fuck out. Stay in tune with yourself,
Speaker 4: like do what the fuck you want to do. Connect
Speaker 4: with who you used to be because you're still that person.
Speaker 4: You don't have to transform into this new woman. And
Speaker 4: just don't like helicopter kid your kid all the time.
Speaker 2: Like people sho developed that habit after baby too.
Speaker 4: But I'm like super chillaxed because even my friends, I'm like, girl,
Speaker 4: let her live, she's fine.
Speaker 2: Is she killing anyone? She's fine? You know.
Speaker 4: And I think some people have like all these pressures
Speaker 4: from like how they're supposed to mom or what their
Speaker 4: their kids are supposed to do and their kids are
Speaker 4: supposed to behave and like the kids are kids, their children,
Speaker 4: they're learning, and it's okay to like allow them to
Speaker 4: do that.
Speaker 2: So don't feel like you have to like be a
Speaker 2: certain way.
Speaker 3: No, you don't, you really don't. I fell into that,
Speaker 3: I feel like, and it took me a while. I
Speaker 3: don't even know why I fell into it. It's like
Speaker 3: this wasn't anyone's fault except my own, but I just
Speaker 3: felt like, no, I can't do this anymore. I can't
Speaker 3: do that anymore.
Speaker 2: It took me a while to like, can I wear
Speaker 2: this on somebody's mom? No, but she if I can
Speaker 2: fit it, I can wear. It wasn't the clothes. It
Speaker 2: was more like what I could.
Speaker 3: Do socially, Yeah, yeah, Like I can't be out here,
Speaker 3: like I'm not.
Speaker 2: I can't. I can't get high. I'm tired already, and
Speaker 2: plus like what do I look like being high?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 2: And like also like the father and my child's.
Speaker 3: Non stop and I would be so annoyed when I
Speaker 3: was pregnant and he would be smoking all the time,
Speaker 3: and I'd be like, oh, so you can just smoke
Speaker 3: all the time.
Speaker 2: Then yeah, like you're not supposed to.
Speaker 3: Then it became like you're not supposed to stow because
Speaker 3: you're gonna be a dad too, you better figure.
Speaker 2: Out not to be sober like me. Well, no, when
Speaker 2: I said this, if I'm.
Speaker 4: Pregnant, motherfucker, so are you pretend right support me? I
Speaker 4: mean I smoked a little bit throughout my pregnancy, Lonuza
Speaker 4: gones your baby.
Speaker 2: I wasn't cheafing every fucking five second. I smoked. I
Speaker 2: tried to smoke, but honestly, I just didn't even want it.
Speaker 3: I smoked a few times, like a few little puffs,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, same with drinking, like I
Speaker 3: didn't even want I did want a margarita, which I
Speaker 3: didn't have.
Speaker 2: Guys, don't worry, which would have been fine if I didn't,
Speaker 2: if you do, like, no, I did it, but I didn't.
Speaker 2: But that's that's also placed into my whole thing that
Speaker 2: I was very like I was buried by the book
Speaker 2: during my pant I ate sushi. I ate chese cold cuts.
Speaker 2: I'm just kidding any cold cuts, but you know you
Speaker 2: made sushi. I didn't eat those cold cuts, but sushi
Speaker 2: raw sushi. I banged out some sushi.
Speaker 4: I didn't think about it twice because I thought women
Speaker 4: in Japan are eating pregnant sushi, you know, And it's.
Speaker 2: Not about that, I think more so as America and
Speaker 2: our food is Probably it was a mercury. I mean
Speaker 2: that it's fine. So yeah's she.
Speaker 4: Does like shrimp way too much for a three year old.
Speaker 4: She thinks that's the only dish that exists, So that's
Speaker 4: probably my fault.
Speaker 3: But oh my god, well, I don't know if I
Speaker 3: have anything else to contribute to this conversation.
Speaker 2: I mean, and this conversation can keep going forever, and
Speaker 2: this is.
Speaker 3: This is like the tip of the iceberg when it
Speaker 3: comes to it, because there's so many different aspects of
Speaker 3: postpartum depression, like we talked about.
Speaker 2: But I hope that we were like somewhat informative.
Speaker 4: And I mean, if not informative, at least like if
Speaker 4: you are experiencing this about to experience it or have
Speaker 4: at least you don't feel crazy, because I know I
Speaker 4: was feeling crazy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you know, there's other real as.
Speaker 4: Women out here just like you that are experiencing the
Speaker 4: same thing, so you're not alone.
Speaker 2: And if you do experience these things.
Speaker 4: It's okay to call a friend or get some help,
Speaker 4: and it's not it's not weird.
Speaker 2: And if you don't have those friends, we'll be your friends,
Speaker 2: just like yeah, we really honestly, Like if you don't
Speaker 2: have a babysitter, I'm the type of mom like, okay,
Speaker 2: what's wrong? You gt me pick up the baby at
Speaker 2: one time?
Speaker 4: Like I've only seen I've only met this girl four times,
Speaker 4: Like okay, okay, I'll sing else swing you think I'll
Speaker 4: recognize me. I picked him up because I really understand.
Speaker 4: I understand that it's hard to be a mom. I understand
Speaker 4: it's hard to be a single mom. And I and
Speaker 4: then I really believe fully in the village situation, like
Speaker 4: I really do.
Speaker 2: My friend's cousin told her, you know who you are,
Speaker 2: my friend.
Speaker 4: I hope the cousin's not listening not to discipline her
Speaker 4: child because she only wants her to.
Speaker 2: She's one, by the way, she only like wants.
Speaker 4: Her to like be receptive to her disciplinary action or
Speaker 4: some stupid fucking shit like that, and that you know,
Speaker 4: don't give so much, don't put so much highlight on
Speaker 4: her negative bad behavior. The child is one years old,
Speaker 4: so I had to think about it. It's like, first
Speaker 4: of all, I'm not going to be around my kids.
Speaker 4: I gonna be around another mom that I don't trust
Speaker 4: your judgment. Can you imagine being around ire and Luna
Speaker 4: and you couldn't rock for mand Luna.
Speaker 2: It doesn't exist their children.
Speaker 4: You have to be able to be like, no, don't
Speaker 4: do that share yes, No, like you're teaching them.
Speaker 2: Yeah. So like, if you're the type of mom you
Speaker 2: need to accept help. You need to trust the help
Speaker 2: who you're getting it from. You need to calm the
Speaker 2: fuck down. Okay, you need to smoke some weed. Is
Speaker 2: what you need to do.
Speaker 4: Speaking of that past the week, because now it's over
Speaker 4: and I can lose my train of thought.
Speaker 2: If I want to thank you for joining us, Thank
Speaker 2: you for joining us. If you need friends, email us
Speaker 2: or dm US Yeah, dm US Good Moms Underscore Bad
Speaker 2: Choices and getting better at that. Yes, And you can.
Speaker 3: Also check out our website. We have all of our
Speaker 3: episodes up there. It's www dot Good Moms, Bad Choices
Speaker 3: dot com. I'm gonna put some links up there from
Speaker 3: today's episode to just some some resources for anyone that's
Speaker 3: going through postpartum I'll have some links for dads and yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's also a contact page there. I think, like,
Speaker 2: I feel like contact pages are so ancient.
Speaker 3: Keep putting, or I was gonna say, hit up our
Speaker 3: contact Parental Advisory g MBC at gmail dot com.
Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, guys, Well do we say our names?
Speaker 2: I don't think we say our names enough. I'm Erica,
Speaker 2: and I'm Mela Erica, Mela Erica. Okay, this is my voice.
Speaker 2: This is my voice. That's pretty single, young hot men
Speaker 2: out there, this is Mela.
Speaker 4: Hey.
Speaker 2: Oh wait, it's horry time story. It's so boring. Fine, No,
Speaker 2: I know horry then.
Speaker 6: Oh you did.
Speaker 2: Okay, Well I'm not gonna talk about that yet. That's
Speaker 2: from saying that horry. Okay, go a horry, I guess.
Speaker 4: I mean our stories are probably horries, so any square
Speaker 4: bitch in America, So a normal story.
Speaker 2: Is a horry for a square bitch. One time, when I.
Speaker 3: When I was back in the day, not that back
Speaker 3: in the day, well back in the day before children,
Speaker 3: I had a boyfriend and he was super jealous, like
Speaker 3: very very possessive, extremely jealous, crazy, and we had like
Speaker 3: broken up for a while because of that, and it
Speaker 3: was the summertime, and I was having like this summer
Speaker 3: flame with this guy that like I'd known for a
Speaker 3: long time. He was really fine, Like, oh he was
Speaker 3: fine anyway, uh, and so we went out. I had
Speaker 3: went to this I went to this Pea Diddy party,
Speaker 3: you know his all white parties, the p Diddy all
Speaker 3: white party.
Speaker 2: Yes, okay, So I went to the all white Pea
Speaker 2: Diddy party out here. Yeah, okay. The only reason I
Speaker 2: went was my mom. That's just so lame, my mom,
Speaker 2: my mom. Yeah, because my mom used to used to
Speaker 2: do uh ditty's makeup.
Speaker 3: And so I went to the party and I was
Speaker 3: just I was with one of my girlfriends and I
Speaker 3: saw my ex there and so it was really awkward
Speaker 3: and I kind.
Speaker 2: Of dodging him and I ignored him, and so I left.
Speaker 2: We went to another party.
Speaker 3: I met up with my new boo, and we got
Speaker 3: back to my house and we had like, you know,
Speaker 3: we did our thing and and then so then but
Speaker 3: then at like four in the morning, we're sleeping and like,
Speaker 3: my my, there's someone pounding at my door and I'm like,
Speaker 3: what the fuck, who the fuck is it? And I
Speaker 3: look out and it's my ex and I'm like scared
Speaker 3: of him, Like I'm like, I have a man in
Speaker 3: my bed, like he's there. We'd only been broken up
Speaker 3: for like oh weeks, and so I was like what
Speaker 3: do I do? So like the guy in my bed
Speaker 3: is like what the fuck?
Speaker 2: And I'm like the I'm like, I'm like he's saying it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't
Speaker 2: know what to do. So he jumps out my window.
Speaker 2: He jumps off my balcony like into the street, and
Speaker 2: then he told him to jump. He was kind of
Speaker 2: a pussy too, and like he was like I'm out,
Speaker 2: Like he wasn't down. He wasn't down to face the music.
Speaker 2: He was like, I don't know what's going on, bitch.
Speaker 2: If you're opening the door on leak. He was not
Speaker 2: a pussy. It was a fine pussy he was. He
Speaker 2: was pussy. So he jumped out the window and then
Speaker 2: my ex I like let my exit, and I was
Speaker 2: like trying to like act like I was just so tired,
Speaker 2: just woke up. I was like what, like what are
Speaker 2: you doing?
Speaker 3: And Eve been pounding for at this point for like
Speaker 3: twenty minutes, because I took me that long to figure
Speaker 3: out what to do right, So he's liked, what the fuck?
Speaker 3: Like I've been knocking, like, what do you mean you
Speaker 3: haven't heard me this whole time?
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, my daughter was closed. I'm
Speaker 2: so tired, and let me be fucked.
Speaker 4: I think I didn't even I wasn't even expecting that
Speaker 4: that turn, and I thought it was wonderfully surprising and great, but.
Speaker 3: I really I don't really remember much of it because
Speaker 3: I was low key drunk. Still that sound like an
Speaker 3: abused battered story like.
Speaker 2: And then on my ex, I'm scared of him, so
Speaker 2: I gave him some pussy. No, it sounds like you weren't.
Speaker 2: He's so scared. A minute you got him out. I
Speaker 2: was trembling, and then I gave him some pussy to
Speaker 2: calm him down. Yeah, so you know to one day
Speaker 2: our period. I mean, it happens. I don't regret it.
Speaker 2: You shouldn't. I don't want to. Yoo, no regrets over here.
Speaker 4: No, trust me, there is way more people than you
Speaker 4: think doing it, just nobody's talking about it and not
Speaker 4: on their podcast.
Speaker 2: So if you're judging, it's probably because you've done it.
Speaker 2: Fuck you or you want to or you want to
Speaker 2: or you wish that you had two guys wanted to
Speaker 2: do it to you in twenty five our period. Do it?
Speaker 2: Just do it, just like do it? Do it and
Speaker 2: meant to call us and tell us about it. Real problems. Yeah,
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your hories, please, we need hories.
Speaker 2: Tell us your horries.
Speaker 4: We need more horries without us continuingly to sound like, yeah, we.
Speaker 3: Don't need, we don't need all of our like potential,
Speaker 3: like bad stories on the internet, our future booze listening
Speaker 3: to all of our horror stories.
Speaker 2: Well, they're gonna know anyway, but I'm gonna just don't listen.
Speaker 2: Do you want to continue this relationship? Don't listen. You're
Speaker 2: not gonna like me after Oh my god. Okay, guys, well.
Speaker 7: I won't your money money, I want your money. I
Speaker 7: want my money. I won't show money. Once upon a time,
Speaker 7: not long ago, I was a hope and I'm admitting it.
Speaker 7: I won't take you back because I did this ship.
Speaker 7: I was a hope and I'm admitting it. I won't
Speaker 7: take it back because if did this ship, I was
Speaker 7: a help. My money. I want your money. I want
Speaker 7: my money. I want your money, my money. I want
Speaker 7: your money. I want my money, I want your money.
Speaker 7: If I want to fuck, I'm gonna fuck him. But
Speaker 7: if he ain't got a buck, I won't cover. Spend
Speaker 7: a hundred on me.
Speaker 2: It ain't nothing.
Speaker 7: I want a double B. So he stuck back to
Speaker 7: the point, is it some cash in this place? If
Speaker 7: it is, I probably stick the stats and your face
Speaker 7: turn around. Then he asks about the taste he fell
Speaker 7: in love like the passion the drag. Better fuck him though,
Speaker 7: And I don't even care if his mother no, it's
Speaker 7: about that paper.
Speaker 2: On another note, and